Manhunt

Back at Hogwarts, Dumbledore had been busy. First, he needed to find out what or where was 'Ma-i.' He ended up delegating the search to Irma Pince, the school's librarian. He didn't give her details on the situation, just telling her he came across the location in some research but couldn't identify where it was.

The rest of the day he spent trying to find Harry with magic. He retained some of the materials he used for the blood wards at #4 Privet Drive and attempted to scry that way. He didn't receive any information that helped. The only information he did get back told him that Harry or something connected to him was at the bottom of the ocean. He tried fiddling around with the ward monitor that appraised him of Harry's protection and love but couldn't get any information except for what the device was intended for. He was hesitant to push it further because the Unspeakables would be very angry with him for breaking one of their toys.

Divination may be a wooly subject, but there were many actions even an amateur without an inner eye could perform. Towards the end of the day, he did visit their resident seer to ask if she had seen anything related to Harry Potter recently. She hadn't.

At dinner time, the castle wards alerted him that Minerva and Severus had returned. They came directly to his office and he prompted them, "Did you discover anything?"

Severus decided to be blunt and direct. "We discovered, or more accurately we rediscovered that you are a fool and keep too much to yourself." After the hit to Dumbledore's pride recovered, Severus added. "Arabella Figg is dead."

Minerva decided to put everything on Albus at once to give him little room to maneuver. "It happened two years ago. Car accident. Alastor already knew but didn't know she was working with you or anything else. We spoke with Gerald Abbot and Lauren Davis about Harry. It sounded like he had a horrible life with the Dursleys with very little happiness. Lauren's daughter, Tracey, is still upset that her friend vanished from her life and wasn't allowed to hang out with her nearly six years later. Additionally, it seems that Lauren was sending you mail to apprise you of Harry's situation which you ignored."

Dumbledore looked on with concern. "This is all very troubling. The device I have to monitor young Harry's well-being always reports him as in good health. Around his seventh birthday, it showed that he had love in his home and life. I had no reason to believe otherwise."

Severus interjected, "But you still didn't think it was important that Arabella hadn't reported in for at least two years? That is just sloppy."

Dumbledore just skipped over his accusations and continued with the meeting. "I assume you will be meeting with Petunia tomorrow? Good. I have been recently attempting various divinations to track Harry's location, but I haven't received any notable results. I asked Irma to investigate the location of 'Ma-i' for me on an unrelated project. I will check in with her in the morning. How about we meet again after breakfast back here at nine? Good."

He didn't wait for a response from them. He just said, 'Good' and headed up to the apartment above the Headmaster's office letting the two of them see themselves out.

Albus met Irma Pince the next morning over breakfast.

"The search is taking some time. The name itself was too short to take parts of it and fit it into any language structure, so I started by eliminating as many locations as possible. After eliminating Western Europe immediately, I also excluded the Americas, North Africa, and the Soviet Union."

"I see," replied Dumbledore. "Please continue this search, it is slightly time-sensitive, I would like to have an answer by the first few weeks of August, though anytime before would be much preferred."

"You normally don't have projects like this for me," the inquisitive librarian said. "This is typically my summer break, so other than extra pay, I would like something a bit more. Do you remember the request I put in two years ago?"

"I do," replied Dumbledore. "However, it would still take too much time to accomplish unless you wanted to work whole summers."

"As I informed you then," she started with a determined edge to her voice, "the muggle library system has advanced past ours and has achieved a complex system of cataloging their information. In the past, I just asked to start upgrading our library to match. Now I would like to make the request again, however this time I will be requesting for students to sign on to the project at varying degrees of assistance. I will have the full proposal for you by the end of the summer to review, though I want your approval now."

Albus sighed, she saw his need to find the information and pounced on it. Sometimes he needed to remember that every house could have cunning, not just the Slytherins.

"I approve," Albus conceded.

Severus and Minerva, properly dressed in smart muggle attire, approached #4 Privet Drive in Watford. Severus had been grumbling the whole time they walked down the street. He told her a couple of stories of Petunia reacting to his and Lily's magic and Minerva had hoped Harry would not have been subjected to that kind of person, as people's personalities did sometimes change with age.

Severus rang the doorbell and a large man answered. Large wasn't quite correct, the man was fat but tall enough that it didn't look terrible. Hagrid had the same issue.

"What are you selling?" The man asked gruffly.

"I'm actually an old friend of Petunia's, I lived in Spinner's End growing up and I was hoping to speak with her," Severus tried being cordial.

"It still sounds like you're selling something," the large man replied gruffly. "And who is she?"

"She is a friend of mine," Severus responded simply and without explanation.

The man glared hard at the two of them. "The first sales pitch I hear, I am throwing you out." Without inviting them in, he turned and yelled, "Pet! Some people are at the door who say they know you."

As a child, Severus would have said that Petunia's face looked like a shrew. As an adult, he thought it looked more horse-like as she came down the stairs to the front door. She started with a pleasant look and a smile before recognition seeped into her features.

"You!" She yelled at Severus, her lips peeling back, revealing her equestrian-like teeth and gum line. Turning to the man, "Vernon, you opened the door for freaks!" And back to them, "You cannot come in."

Vernon pulled himself up a few more inches and puffed up his chest. He seemed to be looking at a spot a few inches above Severus' head. He knew what that meant from the students who had been told by their parents about the existence of Legilimency. You could never be sure who was one, so many people adopted the tactic of just focusing on a spot above a person's head to not look them in the eye while talking.

"You are not welcome here, I do not permit you to enter!" Vernon spoke firmly as if his voice held some sort of power, which it did not.

"We are not Vampires," Minerva added to try to calm the situation down, "You're accomplishing nothing by saying that."

Vernon turned white as if he were trying to hide all the blood in his body at the mention of vampires. "V-vvv-vampires are real?"

Minerva had tried cordial, so he switched tactics to his favorite one, fear. "Yes, Vampires are real. I'm sure if you would like I could bring a few here to arrange an introduction. Or you could let us in and we can talk."

Petunia walked inside and pulled her husband after her. Severus and Minerva followed and sat down on the couch without instruction.

"You know why we are here," began Severus, and expecting a stream of lies asked, "where is Lily's son?"

Vernon replied on cue, "He's at school."

"It's summer vacation."

"It's year-round."

"What School?"

"St. Brutus's."

"Doesn't exist."

"It's a juvenile detention center for criminal children."

"It still doesn't exist."

"He's allowed to come home during Christmas, you can wait till then," Vernon added, totally committed to the lie and not knowing anything else to say.

"From a place that doesn't exist?"

Petunia and Vernon were panicking.

Minerva pulled out her wand. "I think it's time we changed tactics." She shot two spells, freezing the two in place with their arms and legs snapping to their sides, their eyes were still wide open and looking around for any escape possible. "We know he isn't anywhere in the UK."

Vernon made a grunting noise, that sounded a bit like, "Greenland!"

Minerva sighed and nodded to Severus, "Go ahead, I will act as a witness."

Severus stood and leaned over Petunia, "This could have been avoided," he said as he looked her in the eyes and he raised his wand and spoke firmly, "Legilimens!"

Vernon watched from the corner of his eyes as the man continued to stare into his wife's eyes, both of their eyes twitching back and forth, matching the others' movements exactly like they were looking in a mirror with only the eyes reflecting. After nearly five minutes Severus broke eye contact.

The look of hatred in his eyes was unmistakable and his wand was alternating between glowing orange and pale green at the tip. Minerva was acutely familiar with spells that had those colors and gasped at whatever could make Severus so intent on torture and murder that his emotions would show through his wand instinctively.

Severus' breathing slowed and the color faded from his wand.

"We will talk about all of this later," he told Minerva. "I am going to go through the fat man's memories now. I am positive that the only thing that kept me from cursing Petunia was that she was Lily's sister, so please stun me the moment I break eye contact with him."

Severus returned to stand over Vernon and made eye contact, raised his wand, and repeated the incantation, "Legilimens!"

His time under the spell was a little longer, when almost ten minutes had passed, he broke eye contact. Minerva waited a moment to see the fury in her colleague's eyes before stunning him in the back. For extra measure, she disarmed him and bound him in ropes. Upon further thought, she levitated his body into a chair and bound him again to the chair. She didn't have any cuffs, so she hoped that would be sufficient and she woke up Severus.

The fury was still there in his eyes, but after realizing he could do nothing about it, he focused on clearing his mind. It took him longer than usual, but when he finished and his emotions were hidden beneath his mask, he spoke.

"We can talk about what I saw somewhere else. For now, we may need to speak with them again. I don't think that it would be wise for me to point a wand at them, so please erase their memories of our visit."

The Dursleys' eyes went wide and struggled to break their invisible bonds.

In turn, Minerva concentrated for a few moments before pointing at each and incanting, "Obliviate!"

She banished the ropes on Severus and he retrieved his wand. Minerva moved their bodies over to the couch facing the television and turned it on. They left with haste to return to Hogwarts.

In Severus' office, the two sat down. Severus let out a large amount of air and reached into his desk and pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey.

Minerva admonished him halfheartedly, "It's 1:30 in the afternoon."

Severus nodded and said, "You're right, it is." He placed the bottle back on the desk and pulled out a similar one that had a gold leaf label on it that said, 'Private Reserve.' Minerva gasped a little, as those were rare, "Some little brat each year thinks they can bribe me for better grades. I always tell them I will pay extra attention to their results, which nearly always ends up with them getting a lower score."

He fished out two glasses and cast a chilling charm on them and the bottle before pouring two very generous helpings.

"I won't go into the details of his experience," he began, "Basically he was treated like a house-elf, and not from a good family. His cousin roughed him up regularly and even turned the beatings into a game with the help of his friends. His cousin scared away every person he could that tried to be friends with Harry. Every time there was any accidental magic, Harry was punished. He was also punished for every infraction of his cousin as well. It is extremely lucky the boy didn't develop an obscurus."

Minerva was shocked. Obscuri were serious matters. They had the potential to destroy cities if left unchecked. There was an entire section of the ICW obliviator squad that trained for the event of one being released in a muggle area.

There had been three cases in the past century. One in 1926 New York, which was solved mostly due to luck of circumstance. The second was during World War II which was covered up as a German bombing of a small town. The third was in rural China, and the magical government there simply adopted to kill the few survivors before the ICW teams could arrive. Having one released in a suburb of London would have been catastrophic.

They both drank a large swig of their whiskey and breathed out the fire that came with the first sip of the drink. The private reserve was something else, the flames even seemed to have a tinge of gold to their edges.

Severus continued. "Things got progressively worse for the boy, and after being stuffed in a washing machine by his cousin and blowing out the electricity for the whole block, those horrible people figured out a way to get rid of him. By asking around with some of the people who delivered goods to his work, Vernon Dursley found out about a group of traffickers who would take Harry away, in exchange for 5,000 pounds. He sold Harry to persons unknown."

Minerva sat there, mouth agape by the shock of it all. Severus motioned for her to look down and she saw her wand was glowing the same orange light that he had earlier on his. She immediately placed it on the table to distance herself from it.

"So how do we find him?" She asked.

"I am not sure," replied Severus. "I have three leads from Vernon Dursley's memories. The first is the man who made deliveries to Vernon's company. The second is the two men he met when he sold Harry. For that, I will need to approach someone discreetly in the DMLE to make a pensieve sketch of them for me. The final lead is that when Harry was put into a shipping container and there was a boat nearby, it is likely he was loaded there and I have the name of the ship, Geheimgang."

"That is a lot of work to follow, and we need to prepare for classes in the fall. Maybe we should bring Alastor in on the project," Minerva did not even know where to begin in finding the clues.

Severus drank the rest of his whiskey, a little bit of smoke coming out of his nostrils. "I will write up what we found and how we suggest to proceed and pass it to the old man. I am also writing a note that I'm sure he will sign that he will not be allowed direct involvement in Harry's life when we find him or I will pass everything I have learned to Amelia Bones. I hope you will also sign it."

Minerva downed the remainder of her whiskey as well and stood up, smoke coming from her nostrils. "Have the notes sent to my office first and I'll add my signature before it goes to him."

Albus Dumbledore had felt through the castle wards that Severus and Minerva had returned to Hogwarts, but they did not come to his office. He assumed they hadn't finished their investigation.

Then in the evening, their report arrived.

He felt weary and sad and a bit disoriented and not knowing what direction to go in. He had too many things to do at the moment. He had trust in his peoples' recommendation and penned a note to Alastor Moody to visit the castle at his earliest convenience.

Two days later, Alastor Moody came to Hogwarts. He came with his trainee, Tristan Nevitt. Albus remembered the lad as being an exceptionally good prefect for Hufflepuff, he made sure to keep bullies away from the younger students of his house. It was a shame he couldn't have reassigned him to Gryffindor or Slytherin to deal with their problems internally.

He led the two of them to a meeting room where he waited with Severus and Minerva. An elf served tea and then left.

"I know what you're going to ask me," Alastor said before anyone had had their first sip of tea.

"I have three conditions, the first is that Tristan joins me on this expedition. The second is that Minerva shall act as my contact until I find him. The final one is that if I need any of your influence, Albus, you will give it and not slow me down."

Albus Dumbledore took a long sip from his tea and responded, "That is agreeable. It is good to get straight to the point. I guess I am not needed at this time then," and he got up to leave.

Tristan watched after Albus had left the room with a bit of awe that his instructor spoke to Albus Dumbledore in such a manner. He looked around and asked, "So what are we doing?"

Alastor narrowed his eyes and told his trainee with a smile, "Your prayers have been answered, you and I will not be hanging around the ministry and shooting spells all day!"

Tristan was wary and had his hand on his wand just in case the man took the opportunity to cast a stinging hex at him.

"It's time for you to get some hands-on experience in tracking someone who doesn't want to be found. We are going on a manhunt, this will be your final exam. If you pass, I will present you with a golden wand at your graduation ceremony."

Tristan's eyes lit up. The Golden Wand was an award given to only the most distinguished of graduates. It was an unwritten rule that the only way to get a command position in the DMLE was to have received one or have a friend who had an in with the Minister. He didn't have any such friends.

'Constant vigilance!' echoed in his head as he snapped out of his daze. "Who are we hunting?"

Alastor's smile widened, "We are hunting 'The-Boy-Who-Lived.' We are going to find Harry Potter."

Tristan's mind was racing faster than a Nimbus broom.

Harry Potter? That's who they were after? He had read stories to his little sister about when Harry Potter tamed a dragon at four years old and killed a troll when he was six. He was treated as a mythological creature and rightfully so. Before Tristan was at Hogwarts, he saw night turn into day when You-Know-Who was defeated, and while he didn't believe the children's stories, he would often laugh along with drunken tales told in the taverns about all the amazing things that Harry Potter could do.

Harry Potter's tears could cure lycanthropy… it's a shame he's never cried.

If two boggarts met, they'd both turn into Harry Potter

House elves want to wear Harry Potter's clothes

If a ghost ran through Harry Potter, it would get a cold shiver

Harry Potter is a death omen if a grim sees him

Thestrals have trouble seeing Harry Potter

Harry Potter's sitting room rug is a living lethifold, too afraid to move

A runespoor once bit Harry Potter, and after three days of excruciating pain, the snake died

Tristan could go on for days, there were even ones that he considered ridiculous. And now he was going to hunt down this legendary creature? Wait a tick, Harry Potter is lost? This was serious. Tristan rallied his thoughts and snapped his brain into 'Auror Mode.'

Looking back at Alastor Moody, he asked. "How do we proceed?"

With an expectant smile on his face, "This is your final exam, take the lead."

Getting a boost from his occlumency training, Tristan pushed all his apprehension and extraneous thoughts down and examined what he knew. Nothing. He was at Hogwarts with Professors Snape and McGonagall. Headmaster Dumbledore had been there, but his instructor was annoyed and dismissed him. Albus wasn't necessary and might be part of the problem. All three of them knew where Harry Potter was, but not now. Somehow Alastor was involved as they had visited him a few days before.

He laid it all out to them. "Harry Potter is missing," turning to Professor Snape and McGonagall, "The two of you and Headmaster Dumbledore were aware of his location at some point, but were recently made aware that he is missing. Somehow the headmaster is part of the problem or caused the disappearance. The two of you have information that can help us get moving and…" He trailed off, suddenly remembering something. Turning to the walls, he shot off a spell and all the portraits turned blank.

Turning to Alastor, "Sorry I forgot to do it when we started."

Alastor nodded and informed him, "I froze them earlier, just in case, without wiping them. Two points from Hufflepuff."

Returning to the analysis, "Somehow Alastor Moody was involved or related to your investigation when you visited recently. I will need to see all of your collected information before deciding on a path to proceed."

Tristan reviewed all of the information and gave condolences to Alastor for his cousin. He came to the same conclusion as Severus about needing a sketch artist and a pensieve for the men at the docks.

"We can probably find the worker Mr. Dursley spoke with and extract any information needed. From there we will need to work with the ministry contacts in muggle law enforcement. The sketches of the people Mr. Dursley passed Mr. Potter to might be in a muggle-criminal database, and there should be records for the route and destination of the ship in question."

Turning to Alastor, "As the senior auror to my trainee status, I will need you to arrange the meetings with the liaison to muggle law enforcement. That's all I can think of right now."

Severus and Minerva had been watching everything in silence the entire time, slightly encouraged that Alastor and his well-trained student were helping out.

Minerva smiled at Tristan, "Thank you, Mr. Nevitt, it is wonderful to see how far you've come since you left these halls." He blushed a little at the praise as Minerva turned to Alastor, "Please keep us apprised of any developments."

Alastor took their notes and the pensieve vial with the memories of the memory of the faces of the men at the docks. "We will let you know of anything we find." Turning to Tristan, "Good initial assessment, meet me by the gate."

The young man headed out and Alastor turned back to the two professors. "Try to keep Albus's nose out of things while we work. Now come out and watch me hex Tristan in the back, any bets on if he catches it?" They both shook their heads.

Alastor watched Tristan walking across the grounds and shot a stinging hex at his back. At the very last second, he stepped to the side and batted the hex into the ground with his wand while he continued his pace uninterrupted.

Alastor chuckled and headed out as well.

Tristan went to get the pensieve memory sketches. Armed with a bouquet of color-changing flowers and a box of chocolates, he talked to the girl who did the sketches to do a clandestine job from the memory. He also had to agree to a nice dinner with her, but as he didn't know how long the search would take, he made her aware that it might take a while. She told him that it also might take her a few days to complete the sketches.

Next, they took a trip to the docks to find the man who had told Mr. Dursley about the people who took Harry. He was difficult to find, because of a very common name. In the end, the man had been useless. He had been given a card by one of the men who took Harry, saying they bought unwanted children and the worker had been paid 500 pounds for each referral. He hadn't seen them or their ship at the docks again since that time. Alastor wiped his memories and added his name to the report they would pass on to the muggle authorities.

Tristan returned to the sketch girl and cried that 'Mad Eye' was going to have his head if he didn't bring back the sketch today. Everyone knew not to get on Mad-Eye Moody's bad side, and she just pulled the completed sketch out of a drawer and reminded him of his dinner promise.

It took a few days to get an appointment with someone from Port Police that was read into the Statute of Secrecy and two weeks for someone at Interpol.

Port Police confirmed when the ship had docked in London Harbor and when it departed. The route of the ship took it through the Mediterranean with ports in North Africa before traveling through the Suez Canal. It had scheduled stops along the Arabian Peninsula, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, and finally Shanghai. The London Port Police did not have any records of the ship reaching any of those points, just that they were on the schedule.

In their meeting with Interpol, they ran the sketches right away while discussing the kidnapping of a missing magical child. They didn't give details of course, but any group smuggling children was an important issue. They passed all the information on regarding the people involved and the route of the ship in question. After waiting a few hours for results, they were informed that one of the men was wanted in Europe as part of various smuggling rings, he was suspected to be involved with drugs and exotic animal parts but hadn't been on the radar for human trafficking. Interpol was also able to find out the date the ship passed through the Suez Canal.

They agreed to keep Interpol apprised of any more developments in the case.

With new information, they returned to Hogwarts.

The two of them relayed their information to Minerva and then summoned Albus. Alastor had to poke Tristan quite a few times before he reluctantly and respectfully demanded Supreme Mugwump Albus Dumbledore contact his Chinese counterpart in the ICW to arrange a meeting to help track the Geheimgang.

By the end of July, they were able to schedule a meeting with the assistant to the Chinese Ambassador to Wizarding Britain. After listening to their investigation they were informed the matter would be looked into.

A week into August, Alastor pulled Dumbledore into the Chinese Ambassador's office to do his 'Defeater of Grindelwald' routine, and they were able to find out in three hours that the ship had never arrived in Shanghai when it had been scheduled to be there.

A few days later, Irma Pince came through on her end and informed them that, prior to the Spanish invasion of the territory, the area around what is currently known as the Philippines was known as Ma-i.

Dumbledore put them in contact with a man in the territory named Nestor Balindong who was part of the auror offices in the Philippines. Apparently, there wasn't a lot of action for magical law enforcement in the area, so the man had jumped on the opportunity to help in a manhunt to find a missing magical child being led by a war hero and career dark wizard hunter.

Nestor greeted Alastor and Tristan at the international portkey to help them get their bearings before starting the investigation. Nestor was shorter than Alastor and had a head of black hair in an undercut style with a puff on top. He looked strong, but Alastor would call it 'gym muscles' and not from fieldwork. They consulted him on their destination, but he had never heard of a place called 'Hidden Village,' suggesting that they start their search in one of the older magical libraries in the country to look for clues.

Back at Hogwarts, Dumbledore had to accept the fact that Harry Potter would not be coming to Hogwarts this year. He arranged for a short interview with the Daily Prophet explaining that Harry Potter was finishing a special preliminary education before attending Hogwarts. No other information would be given, as Harry's protection is paramount.

There were plenty of politicians and those wishing him either good or bad or demanding additional information but Dumbledore held all the cards so they had no ground to stand on. One person who was overjoyed at the news was a redheaded girl out in the countryside who realized that Harry Potter would be in her year instead of one ahead.

There was an endless amount of research for Tristan to do. Alastor claimed he was using his magic eye to read books inside the library from where he was sitting outside in a hammock outside wearing a flowered shirt and drinking from a coconut, but Tristan was pretty sure he was lying.

So his day was split up between endless research through historical records looking for any mention of a 'Hidden City' and his second task of surprising and hitting Alastor with any kind of magical or physical attack. The closest he had come so far on that front was timing an acidic potion capsule to cause a coconut to fall on the man's head while he was relaxing in his hammock. Half a second after the coconut began to fall it was blasted out of the sky.

Nestor helped by looking through records in older languages and taught some of them to Tristan. Mostly it was just learning the word 'Hidden' and any variations of the meaning so he could look for it written down anywhere.

By December, they still had no luck and reported back as such. Tristan was determined to see this through. He needed to find Harry Potter, but he also wanted the golden wand, and this was his final exam. So he switched tactics. Nestor helped him collect records regarding the locations of as many ancient cities and ruins as they could find and told Alastor that they were going to tour every single one of them to do in-person investigations. Alastor baited him and asked him if he really thought that would be the best idea to which Tristan snapped and said he would plant Alastor in the mud and use his eye like a lighthouse if that's what it took.

Alastor just nodded and gave him a firm punch in the shoulder. Tristan looked pleased and tried to punch him back only to receive several stinging hexes to the stomach before the blow could land.

Throughout the spring, they visited islands and ruins all over the region. This was considered preferable to sitting in a library. Nestor even met a girl that he swore he would take to his parents for dinner. Tristan was forbidden from flirting with the locals while he was on duty but made a vow to come back for a vacation now that he knew every island and every beach perfectly. His blonde curls seemed to attract a lot of attention from the locals, and he had to tell every one of them that he was too busy when approached.

Back in England, Dumbledore's plans were going strangely. All of his plans had included Harry as part of them, and without the boy, he was always shifting pieces around to fill in the gaps.

Professor Quirrel did bring back a stowaway of Tom Riddle from Albania and positioned him to try to take the Philosopher's Stone. But now, without Harry, he couldn't use Lily's protection to finish off his spirit. He ended up trying multiple times to ensnare Tom in the simple, but time-consuming traps of the third-floor corridor. As a last resort, he tried to imprison Tom's spirit inside the Mirror of Erised itself a week before the end of the school year. Unfortunately, after forcing his spirit from Professor Quirrel, the mirror could not hold him. Luckily, Tom was incorporeal and could not hold the stone either, so he fled.

Alastor Moody also was no closer to finding Harry.

Omake:

With Severus tied to the chair requesting Minerva to handle the memory wipe, she looked at the two of them struggling with their eyes, "So, Severus, is this a 'Scenario 3?'" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" Severus responded.

"Oh man, it's a 'Scenario 4,'" replied Minerva. She pointed her wand at Petunia, "Obliviate!" then at Vernon, "Obliviate!" She levitated both of them facing the TV, unpetrified them, and turned on the TV to the news.

Then she vanished the ropes binding Severus and just strolled out of the house muttering, "I don't get paid enough for this shit. Come on Severus, we're behind schedule."

"What the hell was that?" Severus yelled after her.

Author's note: Before I started this fic, there was a great Reddit post I commented on about Chuck Norris/Harry Potter jokes. I would like to give thanks and credit to Dan2510 and Dude_Man_Bro_Sir for their jokes that I used.
One that I decided not to use of my own was:
The Whomping Willow was named in honor of the night Harry Potter lost his virginity… when he was 8… with three Veela.

Author's Note 2: I want to thank manatee-vs-walrus for letting me use his idea of pensieve sketches from his fic 'Loose Canon' which is amazing and I suggest people check it out.

Alternative Castings: In my version of this story, Alastor Moody is being played by Liam Neeson. I never liked how they portrayed him in the movies. Neeson's portrayal of Brian Mills in Taken would have made a way better Mad-Eye Moody than how WB did it for the movies.

Tristan Nevitt - Asa Butterfield, there's a good picture of him on IMDB as a blonde, just make that curly/wavy and I think that would work well.

Nestor Balindong - Henry Golding, though I might change that later.