Prologue

She could still hear the gunshots echoing in her ears, she was lucky she got out of there, she really was. Her tears often filled with eyes as she remembered the sounds she heard when she left that place behind, she was literally walking to her car when she flinched at the sound of gunshots. Jac couldnt even stay to help, she was too far gone in her own head to even contemplate doing medicine right now so she headed home feeling like a coward. The babysitter left so Jac had Emma tucked under her arm never wanting her daughter to leave her side, after today she cherished those moments a lot more knowing it would have been her, she never wanted any harm to come to her. Jac planted a kiss on Emma's head and put her to sleep, she was pretty tired so she went down with ease. Just after she did the doorbell went off causing a soft groan hoping Emma didnt wake at the sound of it. Jac looked to the stairs and breathed a sigh of relief before going to answer it. To her surprise, Fletch was standing there tears in his eyes causing her to frown in confusion. She had purposely avoided the local news, she knew what would be plastered all over the headlines but after avoiding it for so long she knew it would catch up with her.

"What?"

"What do you mean what?!" Fletch immediately hugs her, she flinches and pushes him away at the whole physical contact thing; she didnt do hugs

"Why are you crying?"

"I thought you were in there Jac, you wouldnt answer your phone!" he cries in exasperation, she looks at him confused before showing him that it was off, she only turned it off for a breather so she didnt have to deal with whatever this was

"I'm sorry...I-"

"No" he shakes his head, she was confused so she turned her phone on "No you dont get to pretend any of this means nothing to you-"

"I wasnt..." she trails off "There"

"But you were!" he shouts at her, she was taken aback by his anger, she was sure she had never seen him this angry before "You were there! You were...there"

"Fletch...are you ok?" she asks him, she didnt know where her concern came from, he shakes his head warning her to stop "I just...I left, I resigned...is this what this is about? Did Hanssen get my letter and you found out so you're here to talk me out of it-"

"What?" he looked at her confused, the emotions were beginning to spiral and she saw that in his eyes, the way there were tears falling down his face

"What's happened Fletch?" she asks him eventually, trying to cut in to avoid the endless questions

"No, no, you dont get to do that" he breathes out heavily "You were going to resign"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"I broke down in your arms" she comments, "I was taking your advice which is why I'm confused at this reaction-"

"You can't go," he says quietly deciding to mask his grief for Raf, somehow he found himself not wanting to share that with her, she frowns, "I thought you were in there, I thought you had been shot when that gun went off on Darwin"

"I'm ok, I'm here" she looks at him, he breathes out and walks over to her, he hugs her causing her to frown "Please dont do that"

"Do what?"

"Hug me" she chuckles, he pulls away and looks at her in the eyes "What happened?"

"Ollie got shot" he mumbles, he didnt tell her about Raf, he couldnt even face it apart from pushing it down into the depths of his body "In the head"

"No" she shakes her head and sits on the sofa, he takes it up to join her and take her hand "His injuries...?"

"Unknown" he mumbles, his eyes looking to hers that were tearstained "I'm sorry, I know he had a lot of potential and-"

"He was going to do it you know, granted I gave him a hard time but he was going to do it. Become the consultant he deserved to be" she whispers in disbelief "Now that opportunity, it's gone, he's not going to have that back again-"

"You dont know that"

"He got shot in the head Fletch, the likelihood of having a normal life...not a high chance of that" she whispers, he nods sadly as she wipes her eyes "Wonder how Zosia's coping"

"She's...flying back over, understandably" Fletch whispers, Jac nods and turns to him with a small smile "Why didnt you answer your phone?"

"Because, if I answered any of the messages then I would have never have left," she says quietly, her eyes close as the tears fall from her eyes "It's been so hard Fletch"

"I know, I know" he takes her hand, he shifts over to her surprised she didnt move away "Speak to me"

"Did you really feel that?" she looks at him, her eyes watery, he smiles and nods at her, his mind clouded with grief "About me? When the worst went through your head when you thought I had been shot?"

"Yeah" he swallows causing his voice to catch in his throat "I just didnt want any harm to come to you, I didnt want you to be in danger or die because...I...you dont deserve that, not after everything you've been through"

"I had to get out of there," she says quietly, she didnt really know why she was telling him "I felt like I was drowning, I felt like I couldnt...breathe being in that place anymore. You saw how I was, you saw that I was...struggling and I was, I couldnt cope anymore and I can't go back there, not for a long time"

"No one's asking you to" he assures her, she drops her gaze "No one...no one is asking you to do that"

"I was going to send you a message" she whispers, he frowns slightly confused "I was going to say that we needed to speak, I was even toying with putting a kiss after it how stupid is that?"

"You putting kisses after your messages?" he chuckles, she nods with a small smile "What did you want to say?"

"I dont know, I really dont know what I was going to say" she shakes her head slightly, he nods sadly and puts his arm around her shoulders "I'm sorry I scared you"

"It's ok Jac" he whispers, she just sniffles and lets the tears fall, her emotion affected him with the thoughts of grief and the thoughts of her being so upset with her life right now "I'm here now"

"Please help me" she whispers, he nods and brings her in for a hug, he kisses her on the head, the overwhelming urge to protect her there, she pulls away and looks at him in the eyes, he kisses her softly and she frowns before pulling away and cupping his face in her hands, their lips connected and he smiled against her lips as she shifted onto his lap, the both of them pulling at each other's clothes before they stumbled upstairs to her bedroom

She woke the following day with an arm secured around her middle, she frowned before smiling slightly at the warmth coming from next to her. Jac turned around and saw him frowning at her, she sighed and bit her lip before groaning at the Peppa Pig theme tune coming from downstairs. Fletch winced unaware that Emma was actually here. Jac huffed and climbed out of bed, she immediately wrapped her robe around her body before biting her lip at trying to figure out a way to get Fletch out of her home. It wasnt long before she heard little feet thunder up the stairs causing Fletch's eyes to widen, Jac bit her lip hoping that Emma didnt knock on her door, she sighed as she heard the bathroom door shut so she turned to Fletch and chucked his clothes at him so he quickly got dressed and looked at her, she looked at him, her teeth still clamped over her bottom lip. Oddly enough they still hadn't said anything to each other. Quickly she gestured for him to get out but it was too late. Emma came out of the bathroom and raised her eyebrows at Fletch standing there, Jac winced and looked at him.

"Fletch!" Emma beams and launches herself into his arms, he smiles weakly at her "What are you doing here?!"

"Fletch was just leaving-"

"Was I?" he looks at her, and she glares at him "Oh yes, I was-"

"I didnt know you were here" Emma beams, he puts her down on the floor and looks between her and Jac "Did Fletch have a sleepover with you mummy?"

"Emma" Jac rolls her eyes, she huffed at the blush rising to Fletch's cheeks "No, he just...came around to help me because there was a spider in the bathtub-"

"Oh" Emma falters, she frowns, "You said you aren't scared of spiders"

"Yeah well...I lied-"

"Daddy said not to lie" Emma scowls at her mother, Fletch just continues to stare between them "Is Fletch staying for breakfast-"

"No I have to get to work" he smiles and Jac bites her lip as he heads downstairs, she quickly follows him and stands at the door "Look about last night-"

"It's fine, you just get to work" she confirms, he bites his lip and nods "Bye"

"Yeah...um, bye?" he looks at her before nodding "Bye Jac"

"Bye Fletch!" Emma calls and he smiles at her before nodding, Jac watches him get in his car and drive off causing her to shut the door and let out a sigh, she rubs her head gently

"Right" Jac breathes out, she frowns at Emma looking up at her expectantly so she bends down to her daughter's level "I was thinking we could go on holiday? How do you feel about that?"

"Really?" Emma's eyes widen, Jac nods with a small smile, her first thought was to run so thats what she was going to do "Yay!"

"Good girl, why dont you go and pack, I'll get breakfast" she sighs and Emma skips off upstairs leaving Jac to wonder why her life was so messy