Sighing, Hunith eased herself down onto the rickety old chair in her house. It had been a hard day, and the days weren't getting any easier.
It also didn't help that she was getting older, her body more prone to injury than before, or that she hadn't really been suited to this work to begin with. Or that she had to tend to her own small plot of land by herself.
Sadly, she smiled, hand reaching up to cup her wedding ring, where it rested against her breastbone.
It would seem that today would be one of those days, when she wished with all her heart that things could have turned out differently.
Wished that instead of being forced to run away from her home, instead of having to fake her own death for her loved ones' sake that she could have stayed. Could have stayed and had her dear Bal by her side as they both explored being parents together.
Not that she would have changed anything for the world. If she had stayed in Deaestidria, she never would have met her son, never would have brought him into this world, gold flaring in his irises, storm raging outside as he finally came into the world.
And afterwards, as she watched him grow and learn, the magic a constant fear in her life, yes, but also a reminder of where she had come from, and the person she had left behind.
If Hunith had one regret throughout the long and tiring years it was that Bal never got to watch his son grow up. Would never know, for his sake as well as Merlin's, that he had a son. For if Cwellere found out, then there would be hell to pay.
She groaned as she pulled herself up off the chair. Her joints had started to ache more, a sign she knew meant that she was getting sick. She moved towards her small pot, which she had put on the fire not long after the midday meal. Spooning some into her wooden bowl, she collapsed once more at the table.
For the second time that day, she felt irreparably lonely. After Merlin had left for Camelot, she had spent most of her days keeping his friend Will from trouble, but ever since his death, she found she missed the energy of youth, the questions that came with it, the way they had run and bounded around her like puppies. Their attention spans were just as bad as well.
But she had always been alone really. If Cwellere had not banned her and Bal from having kids for the sake of his own power, then perhaps she wouldn't have been lonely.
They could have had a family, a proper one, not just her and Bal and Merlin, but perhaps a daughter as well, somebody that Hunith could have taught.
She felt the wetness on her cheeks, but allowed them to stay. This wasn't the first time that she had cried over lost dreams and hopes, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.
Going back to eating, she tried not to focus too much on the empty bench which sat across from her, the ghosts of her son and her family playing through her mind.
She always knew that her parents had wanted grandchildren, not to continue on the lineage, but just to hold. Hunith couldn't help but wonder if any of her siblings had had families, or were even married. She knew that Caradoc fancied someone within court, but had never said who it was, Nas might have married, although when they were young women she hadn't been all too keen to, and then there was Hywell.
Hywell had always said that he would remain forever a bachelor, but beneath the facade, Hunith knew that it hurt him to know that he had not found anyone yet, that he wished, just as much as anyone, to find someone he could love and hold. She hoped that he had.
Sighing once more, she moved to the small basin where she washed her lone bowl and utensil. It looked like it would be another long night ahead of her.
Starting to get ready for sleep, she didn't notice the letter at first. But she did when she went to stoke up the fire.
Over the years, as Merlin had gotten himself into more dangerous situations, she and Gaius had developed a fast and simple way to send each other messages. It involved the most basic of druidic runes, a small prayer, and they were done.
Of course, they only used the system in case of emergencies, which, luckily, had only happened once or twice since it had been set up.
Hand trembling, she gripped the letter, praying to the gods that Merlin would be alright, that her son would be fine.
With trembling fingers, she opened it.
Hunith,
I thought that it would be urgent to inform you that a delegation from Deaestidria is here in Camelot.
What? No, no.
Hunith had never thought that Cwellere might one day decide to visit Camelot. If he found out about Merlin…
No. He wouldn't even look twice at her son.
Fortunately, it is not Cwellere who is here to sign the treaty, but his brother, Balinor as well as the Barion siblings.
Hunith clasped her hand to her mouth, a fresh wave of pain hitting her body. Shaking, she sat down once more, allowing her tears to fall.
However, Merlin is beginning to ask questions. Do not fear, he has not yet asked anything of import, but I fear that with time, and the right questions, the truth will come out.
She took a deep breath.
Of course it would. She could only hope that after all these years Bal still loved her, and that her siblings would not hate her, that if the time came they would help her protect Merlin.
I would not usually urge you to do anything, but I believe that perhaps it would be best if Merlin were to find out his parentage from your lips, and not by himself.
Gaius.
Panic over, Hunith stared numbly at the letter.
Her family, in Camelot.
Could she though, could she really tell her son who he truly was? Could she really go there, and tell him yet another secret that he would have to keep? What right did she have?
And yet…
This would be the perfect opportunity to tell her family that she was still alive. That she had a son. To tell Bal that they had a son.
A new energy filled her. She could see Bal again, could talk with her family again.
Quickly, she moved around her small home, shoving clothes into a small bag, shoving a loaf of bread in as well.
She would start her journey in the early morning, and would hope to reach Camelot by evening the next day.
Smiling, she fell asleep, feeling lighter than she had done in years.
A/N What's this? Me updating? You sure bet it is!
I had the time and the energy to sit down and write this this week. And it feels amazing.
I hoped you enjoyed the new chapter, and thanks to everyone who has commented, followed or favourited this fic.
Stay tuned for the next chapter!