Chapter 4

Kate was exhausted emotionally and physically as she unlocked the door to her apartment. The moment she closed it, all of the emotions and fatigue hit her at once. She'd fought like hell to keep her past and secrets from ruining her new life and while she already knew it was a futile attempt, she'd always hoped parts of who she used to be would never see the light of day. She trudged to her bedroom and gingerly took off her clothes in much need of a hot shower. Removing the bandage from her ribs caused them to throb and reminded her of her ordeal. She'd been in a few close-calls in her career, some leaving her even more worse for wear, but it was different now that she had people she saw a future with, people she cared for. It was different now that she had a friend like Jane, who would have to explain to Julie and Alex why she wasn't around. They had all grown quite close over the past several weeks with Kate becoming a regular for dinners. It was different now that she had people she wanted to learn more about and become friends with, like Jesse, Kai, Ernie, and even Olson from her new FBI team. She was just starting to find her stride and enjoy their company. And of course, it had been different for a while because of Lucy. She told herself that there was no way it could have, but she felt it after the first weekend they spent together over two years ago. Lucy changed her perspective on the world and what she could have in it and Kate wasn't ready to leave that behind. After she lost her brother and joined the CIA, an advantage of hers was that she didn't feel like she had much more to lose. Sure, her mother would rain down fire and brimstone on anyone who brought danger to her, but Kate didn't feel like she was leaving much behind, until now.

The hot water of the shower spraying over her shoulders relaxed her a bit and she managed to dry off and put her hair in a messy bun. She grabbed a green plaid flannel to wear since the buttons made it easy to put on over her aching ribs and eased into it as she headed for the kitchen. She had no clue what she wanted to eat, but was starving. Before she could open her refrigerator, there was a knock on her door and she prayed that it was not her mother again. She didn't have the energy to deal with the woman twice in one night. She gulped when she looked through the peephole and saw Lucy standing there. She opened the door and noticed the bag of food in her hands.

"Lucy, hi."

"I figured you might be hungry and I bought way too much for just me. You know my eyes tend to be bigger than my stomach."

"Kind of noticed that when you ordered three different pizzas the first time you stayed over."

"I wanted different options, so sue me." Kate giggled, but then winced and held her ribs.

"You haven't iced them at all have you," asked Lucy and Kate smiled sheepishly.

"I almost got blown up today, no yelling at me."

"Not funny," said Lucy as she walked in.

"I mean, it's a little funny," said Kate as she closed the door. They walked into the kitchen and Lucy placed the bag on the counter. She blushed when she recognized the song playing over the speakers. It was the song both had on their playlists, a song that had played many nights when they were in bed getting lost in each other, and created a bubble whenever they needed it most. Kate quickly changed the song and cleared her throat.

"Sorry, um, I can change the playlist."

"No, it's okay. You know I love that song," said Lucy and Kate slowly nodded.

"So, did you come to drop off the food or share it," questioned Kate and Lucy scoffed.

"Wow, Whistler, trying to kick me out, already?"

"What, no, I wasn't…that isn't what I meant." Lucy's giggle and cheeky smile made Kate playfully glare at her.

"No messing with me. You know I'm tired," she whined and Lucy winked at her as she opened the containers of food.

"Which makes you easy to tease and get information out of, so I think I'll stick around."

"Don't use your power for evil," warned Kate.

"What power?"

"Oh I think we both know what power I mean."

"Me, have power, never," teased Lucy. Kate shook her head in amusement as she grabbed two plates and a bottle of wine. They sat down on their usual stools at the counter and began to eat as the music played. Each caught the other glancing in their direction through the meal and Kate tried not to get her hopes up, but knew they both felt it, the crackling and tension in the air that tended to return when they got too close. When they were together, they gravitated toward one another, inching closer at every chance, yearning to melt into each other. She knew what she wanted, but also didn't want to assume Lucy wanted it too, especially after everything she learned that day.

"Are we going to talk about what happened," asked Kate.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It kind of seems like we have to, right?"

"Yeah, but you kind of almost died today. It's okay if you need to take a beat to process that."

"Not the first time," mumbled Kate and Lucy sighed.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Lucy…"

"I thought you died, Kate," she confessed as the memory brought tears to her eyes all over again.

"The explosion went off, I saw the fire, and I thought you were in it. I didn't even have time to breathe because then there was Cara standing over you and you were knocked out. We didn't know how hard you hit your head or if you had internal bleeding. I thought you died today." Kate stood up and stepped in between Lucy's legs as she cupped her face. Lucy gazed up at her as Kate ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I keep hurting you. That has always been the last thing I've ever wanted. Ever since we met, all I've wanted is to make you happy, to see the smile I fell in love with."

"Kate…"

"I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but I need you to know I never once lied simply because I wanted to. I know it doesn't make it right, but all I've wanted since we met in that bar is to be with you and all I've wondered ever since I realized who you were is if you could ever forgive me," confessed Kate. Lucy cupped her cheek and gazed adoringly into the eyes she could always get lost in. She saw the pain and torment, the burden Kate had been carrying by keeping her secrets and those of so many others.

"I already did," assured Lucy and Kate was stunned by the admission.

"You did," she questioned. Lucy tugged on the collar of Kate's flannel to pull her down to her. Their lips meshed together in a passionate kiss and Kate's hands immediately gripped Lucy's thighs. She pulled her closer, but winced when her ribs reminded her that her body had taken a toll that day. Lucy pulled back, but Kate shook her head.

"I'm okay," assured Kate and Lucy smirked.

"Back to lying already?"

"I…"

"Let me see how bad it looks now," said Lucy as she began to unbutton Kate's shirt. Kate slowly nodded. She braced herself for Lucy's response and the brunette didn't disappoint.

"What the hell, Whistler," she scolded when she saw the scrapes and extensive bruising around her ribs.

"It looks worse than it is."

"You need ice and rest."

"I need you."

"You have me. I'm the one getting you ice," reminded Lucy as she walked over to the freezer.

"You're really bossy. You know that?"

"I thought you liked me bossy," teased Lucy. Kate's jaw dropped as Lucy smiled cheekily at her.

"Um, yeah, when it works in my favor and ends in orgasms."

"I remember what the doctor said, no physical exertion," said Lucy and Kate playfully glared at her.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that."

"Well, I can," said Lucy as she placed some ice into a couple of bags.

"Well, if I'm that banged up, I guess you'll just have to be my naughty, somewhat bossy nurse," suggested Kate.

"Kate," exclaimed Lucy with a laugh.

"What, it wouldn't be the first time." It was Lucy's turn for her jaw to drop and Kate to smile cheekily.

"What part of no physical exertion do you not understand?"

"The physical part." Lucy walked back over to her and gently placed an ice pack on her ribs. Kate winced, but sighed in relief at the cool sensation as Lucy ran a hand through her hair.

"Just so we're clear, I'm not going anywhere, and while sex with you is phenomenal…like…mind-altering kind of phenomenal…"

"Agreed."

"I love you, not just the sex. I need you to be okay." Kate smiled at the words.

"I love you too." Lucy tenderly kissed her before giving her a wink.

"Good, then in bed you go, I'll clean this up and then be in to join you."

"Look, if you're going to boss me around like this, you can at least be in that little black lace number with the..."

"Kate," laughed Lucy and Kate grinned mischievously as she winked at her.

"Fine, I'm going," said Kate as she pressed the ice to her ribs and headed into her bedroom. Lucy shook her head in amusement and sighed in relief. After everything they had been through that day, she was relieved she would have Kate safely in her arms that night.

The next morning, Kate woke up achy and with her ribs throbbing, but a lazy grin crept onto her lips nonetheless. She pushed out her bottom lip in a pout when she heard Lucy in the kitchen instead of in bed where she wanted her, but she couldn't complain. While they did their best to behave in the bedroom the night before, it didn't stop them from getting a bit creative. Kate beamed with happiness when Lucy walked back into the room wearing nothing but Kate's discarded flannel. She giggled when Lucy crawled back into bed and showered her with kisses.

"Morning," whispered Lucy as she nuzzled her neck and Kate stroked her hair.

"Morning, baby," whispered Kate. Her eyes slid shut as one of Lucy's hands palmed her bare breasts. She was careful of Kate's ribs, getting well acquainted the previous night with touching her girlfriend in ways that didn't technically go against the doctor's orders. Lucy's eyes roamed all over her body and her fingers teasingly slipped back under Kate's panties.

"Luce," whimpered Kate before capturing her lips in a kiss that left their heads spinning. Lucy's fingers drifted lower and Kate did her best not to buck her hips to find the friction she so badly needed again. The moment Lucy dipped a finger inside of her, she spread her legs more, urging her girlfriend to add another. Lucy watched through hooded eyes as she pleasured her girlfriend, plunging deeper and finding just the right rhythm. She peppered kisses over Kate's collarbone and trailed down to her nipples, tugging one into her mouth to suck and nip. Kate gripped the sheets, feeling so close to release and yet needing more. As if sensing exactly what she needed, Lucy's thumb rubbed the sensitive bundle of nerves between Kate's legs and smiled at the cry of pleasure she got in response. Her name played on Kate's lips over and over again as she found her release and an orgasm washed over her. It pulsed and throbbed between her legs, consuming her body with pleasure. Once her body was satisfied, she melted back into the bed and gasped when Lucy palmed her sex. Their eyes locked as the gorgeous brunette hovered over her, eyes on fire and dancing with delight.

"Very good morning," whispered Lucy and Kate pulled her closer for another dizzying kiss.

"God I love you," said Kate. Lucy giggled when Kate shifted to roll on top of her.

"Kate, your ribs," she tried to warn, but it came out in a squeak that made Kate smile even more.

"I was careful last night," reminded Kate as she rested on one of her forearms. Lucy wanted to protest, but remembered the way her girlfriend touched her the night before.

"I guess a little fun wouldn't hurt," she conceded as Kate happily nodded.

Hours in bed and a long, steamy shower later, Lucy was in the kitchen cooking a late breakfast and Kate was doing everything in her power to distract her.

"You're supposed to be icing your ribs," reminded Lucy as Kate's hands cupped her backside from behind.

"I was, but I got distracted," mumbled Kate as her lips made their way up Lucy's neck to the spot right below her ear that always got a response. She smiled against her skin when Lucy went weak in the knees.

"Kate," whimpered Lucy and Kate grinned from ear to ear.

"Yes," she whispered in her ear.

"I am trying to focus."

"So am I," mumbled Kate as she unbuttoned the flannel Lucy was back in. It quickly ended up on the floor and the moment Kate's fingers slid between Lucy's legs, all thought of food or cooking breakfast, ceased.

Once they were sated, they finally ate breakfast together on the balcony. Lucy's legs were in Kate's lap and Kate wore a lazy grin as she gazed lovingly at her girlfriend.

"I could stay like this forever," confessed Kate and she smiled even more when Lucy lovingly kissed her.

"Me too." A knock on the door made Lucy curse under her breath as she checked her phone.

"I lost track of time. Tennant wanted to come over to check on you. Good thing you finally let me put on some pants," said Lucy as she hopped up. Kate smirked as she looked her girlfriend over in her jeans and the same flannel that she quickly tucked in.

"Good for who, not for me," grumbled Kate and Lucy sweetly kissed the top of her head.

"You're too damn cute when you pout."

"I don't need a babysitter," called Kate as Lucy jogged to the door. She smiled warmly at her boss and opened the door wider to invite her in.

"She's out on the balcony. I'm just going to grab some things at the store and be right back."

"Take your time. We have some shows to catch up on," assured Jane.

"Thanks. Bye, babe, be back soon. Love you," called Lucy and Kate smiled as she walked back inside.

"Love you too," called Kate. Jane looked back and forth between the couple as Lucy left and Kate watched her with a goofy grin.

"Okay, that will take a minute to get used to," admitted Jane.

"Shut up," grumbled Kate, but Jane was far from finished with her teasing as she walked over to her friend. She looked Kate over in her sweatpants and Northwestern hooded sweatshirt.

"Wow, you look adorable," teased Jane.

"You know, God forbid one of these days you catch a cold or get a few bumps and bruises, because I'm going to be there to tease you," warned Kate.

"I expect no less."

"And by the way, I know what's happening here. I don't need a babysitter. It isn't like I'm incapable of taking care of myself if my girlfriend or friend aren't around." Jane showed her the box of baked goods she had been hiding behind her back.

"I brought you powdered donuts."

"Give me that," said Kate as she reached for the box, but Jane kept it out of reach.

"Did you take your medicine?"

"I don't want to take my medicine. It makes me tired."

"It's okay to be sleepy," cooed Jane and Kate playfully glared at her.

"I hate you sometimes," grumbled Kate as she grabbed her pill bottle.

"Aw, I love you too. You're so sweet," said Jane as she handed the box of donuts to Kate. They settled on the couch and Jane grabbed the remote before Kate could.

"My turn," she reminded and Kate groaned.

"That's not fair. We didn't even finish my show."

"We will, when it's your turn."

"I'm injured. That has to count for something. I should get to choose," pouted Kate and Jane smirked.

"That might work on Lucy, but we both know it won't work on me. Besides, I think you'll like this movie," said Jane as she selected a film. Kate shook her head in amusement.

"I knew it. I totally knew it," said Kate.

"You didn't know it. I don't know what you're talking about."

"We have to talk about your obsession with Ryan Reynolds."

"I don't have an obsession, you have an obsession."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's not my type," teased Kate and Jane shook with mirth.

"It's one movie. You can sit through one movie with me."

"First off, it's been three movies and second, I want to watch my show!"

"I brought you donuts. You'll be fine," said Jane as she started the movie.

"Fine," grumbled Kate as she reached into the box to pull out one of the powdery baked goods. Jane glanced over at her and decided to bring up the subject to get it over with. She had been thinking about it since that morning and decided it was best to just tell Kate the truth.

"I spoke with your mother last night," admitted Jane and Kate almost choked on her donut.

"Ow, what, when," exclaimed Kate as she wiped powdered sugar from her lips. Jane smiled sheepishly.

"I kind of intercepted her at the airport before she left."

"Oh, okay, well, how did that go?"

"Surprisingly well."

"Huh, can't relate," said Kate with a shrug.

"She's definitely something."

"That's one way of putting it, but she wasn't always. Before Noah died, she was kind and optimistic. She believed in the greater good and that justice eventually found a way to prevail, even when it took some time. She's the reason I became an agent."

"Not trying to make excuses for her…" Kate frowned at the very thought.

"Ew, please don't…"

"But I do understand her a bit as a mother, if it was Alex or Julie, if someone harmed them and I had the power and resources she has…"

"You wouldn't do what she did."

"Maybe not, but I understand the temptation to and a part of me can't fault her for it."

"I guess," conceded Kate as she stared back at the television. Jane took it as a sign to move on and focused her attention on the movie as well.

By the time Lucy returned, the movie was halfway over and Kate was asleep. Lucy smiled adoringly at her girlfriend and Jane quietly stood up. She nodded toward the door and Lucy followed her outside of the apartment.

"Thank you for keeping an eye on her," said Lucy as she closed the front door behind her.

"It was fun, even though she teased me through the parts of the movie she was awake for. By the way, I already processed a request for you to have a couple of days off. I think it's a good idea. You've been through a lot lately."

"We all have," reminded Lucy.

"Think of it as a favor for me then. I think we both know if she is left unoccupied, she'll just show up in the bullpen, asking to see what we're working on, even though she's not supposed to be anywhere near either headquarters."

"That's fair."

"Besides, our caseload is being kept light this week and some other teams are covering, if necessary. You're right, we've all been through a lot and the director noticed as well. I'm going to do some paperwork and try to get home early the next few days to spend time with Alex and Julie."

"How's the physical therapy going for him?"

"So far, so good. I'm just trying to figure out how to tell him and Julie about Maggie. I think Sunday dinner will be good for all of us. Kate already agreed, so I assume…"

"That since we're a couple now, I'll be there too," said Lucy with a teasing smile.

"Is that the wrong assumption?"

"Totally the right assumption, we'll be there and with cake."

"See you then," said Jane as she headed for the elevator.

"Oh and Tennant, we're both here for you if you need us," reminded Lucy.

"I know you are. Thanks." Lucy smiled at her before heading back into the apartment and Jane took in a deep breath. She planned on telling the kids that evening and while she knew it would take time, she also knew they had plenty of people in their lives to help them through it. It had been a difficult few weeks, but one thing hadn't changed. They were all a family and she knew together, they could get through anything.

AN: The End. This one was a lot of fun to write, but also an emotional rollercoaster. I hope you enjoyed it. I cannot wait for this drought to be over and know soon my shipper heart will be full of Surfer Kate and hopefully, a Kacy reconciliation by the end of the season. Feel free to leave kudos or a comment. I enjoy hearing from all of you. Be well.