Summary:

Levi, Mikasa and Onyankapon make it to Hizuru, the beautiful homeland of Mikasa's ancestors. Mikasa wrestles with what family is to her as she comes in contact with people of her Asian bloodline. Levi and Mikasa have a late night conversation that ends with regrets.

"Mikasa-chan, Captain Levi, and Mr. Onyankapon! Welcome to Hizuru." An elderly Asian man came forward onto the pier to greet the Paradis soldiers after their long journey. His wrinkled eyes smiled upwards, his pale skin was similar to that of Mikasa's, and his voice was marked by the same native accent as Lady Kiyomi's.

To Levi's surprise, the man was shorter than himself, and he couldn't help but be slightly amused at the reality of being taller than someone for once — not that his short height ever truly bothered him.

The man seemed to be a leader sent by Lady Kiyomi, and judging by the three others in sashed uniform and sheathed swords trailing behind him, his status was that of importance in the land. The Hizurans seemed fixated on Mikasa and gave her a deep bow before proceeding to grab the suitcases off of the ship. The Paradis crew mates saw it fit to return the respectful bow as they stepped off.

"Lady Kiyomi Azumabito greets you!" The man smiled and bowed again before extending a firm handshake to Levi. "My name is Hatori. We've been expecting you, and we have wonderful news! Come along, now." Hatori turned and held out a polite arm to Mikasa to help her off of the pier. "Mikasa-chan, it's wonderful to meet the descendant of the Azumabito shogunate." His slivered eyes looked fondly at the girl. "Come, come, we will feast! For Azumabito and family."

Family.

Levi overheard the word as he kept close to the man and Mikasa. A sudden realization dawned on Levi that coming to Hizuru must be important to the woman who, just a week ago, cried to him that everyone leaves. It was not lost on him that Mikasa had lost all of her loved ones, much like himself, and was now being celebrated by her people in her very own homeland. Levi was happy for her, and hoped she could soak up what little moments they had in Hizuru together.

And as he turned to look at Mikasa, he expected an expression other than what she gave.

Mikasa looked overwhelmed and, if he wasn't mistaken, fearful.

Levi moved in front of Hatori, blocking their path with a stern look on his face, still careful to remain respectful. "Hatori, as much as I'm glad this reunion is happening, we need to talk to Lady Kiyomi soon. The boat trip back to Marley will be long and we need to get on board by tomor—"

Hatori playfully hushed Levi and patted the captain's shoulder. "No rush, Captain! You will be flying to Marley in no time. Why, you'll reach Marley in a short half-day flight! Spare a night to celebrate with us and Lady Kiyomi! Mikasa-chan, you're with your family now!" A thrilled smile beamed on Hatori's face as he uncomfortably dragged Mikasa along by her arm.

Levi was irked by the sight of the pull. The captain's hand twitched before taking hold of Mikasa's, carefully bringing the flustered woman to his side. "Sir." He stood taller. "Mikasa will be the one to decide what she wants." His voice turned soft as he looked to her. "What do you want to do?"

This was new. She gazed at his comforting face and let every noise around her fade for a few seconds before regaining her composure. The warmth of his hand on hers put her at ease, and it shocked her — not the physical contact, but the mere fact that he was still prioritizing what she wanted despite the fact that she'd already dragged him across the world. She squeezed his rough hand in assurance.

Then her stomach growled.

"Umm... Let's… eat?" An embarrassed smile covered her face.

"It is decided! To the celebrations we go! Lady Kiyomi will be excited to have you! She has prepared an impressive welcome feast for you." Hatori and his men marched forward, encouraging them to follow.

Levi followed ahead still holding onto Mikasa's hand, but was stopped as she stayed in place. His ears turned red as he noticed her eyes were locked onto their hands still clasped together. "Oi. Brat." That smirk of a smile and her favorite gentle look in his eyes graced Levi's youthful face again. "You said you wanted to eat."

"Ah… Right." A blush shook from Mikasa's face as she pushed to walk forward while being all too distracted holding her captain's hand. Onyankapon trailed behind the two and smiled.

Mikasa and Onyankapon's jaws dropped, and Levi's eyes widened in awe. A tall shogun castle, seven stories high and made of carefully carved wood and strong stone, towered above them as they approached the castle doors. The edges of the red roofing pointed up towards the sky and glistened with accents of real gold.

Sitting tall atop of the lush land, it was surrounded by spreads of pink petals called sakura, and large trees hundreds of years old called bonsai, as Hatori mentioned during their walk. Stone walls encapsulated the castle and reminded them of their home, except these walls weren't meant to keep the threats of lurking Titans out.

The inside of the castle was just as breathtaking. Every single panel of the inner walls were hand painted with intricate art — nature and birds and scenery that reminded them of peace. The paper of the shoji screen doors glowed as the sun peeked in. There was absolutely nothing as serene as this within the walls of the Paradis; even Historia's castle paled in comparison.

As they trekked deeper and higher into the castle, they reached a crimson door engraved with a very familiar symbol — three swords crossing each other to form the family crest of the Azumabito. Mikasa tugged at the sleeve of her cardigan and peered down at her left wrist, revealing the matching branded insignia. A dull ache formed in the back of her head.

The group stopped at the large doors. Hatori's knock echoed in the halls before the doors swung open with grandeur, revealing Lady Kiyomi in an elaborate kimono standing in the center of a banquet hall. It was full of a dozen others sitting around the room prepping impressive food spreads. Everyone turned to look at Mikasa, Levi and Onyankapon with genuine anticipation on their faces. The sound of water trickling from bamboo just outside the circular windows contrasted the murmurs the people's excitement.

"Mikasa-chan of the Shogunate. Captain Levi, Mr. Onyankapon!" Kiyomi approached them in a mutual bow, and inched towards Mikasa with graceful open arms. "Child, you came all the way here. We are grateful."

"Lady Kiyomi, we…" Mikasa got caught in a hug with the old woman. Her hair smelled of pine and something floral. "I'm sorry — we didn't expect to come this way." She took a step back to stand closely beside Levi again. "We need to get to Marley. We're thankful for what you've prepared for us." She glanced behind Kiyomi at the inviting spread of luxurious food. "But I'm afraid we have to leave as soon as we can."

Levi held his fedora respectfully at his waist as he approached the woman in power. "We received word from Hatori that we'll be taking a flight there, meaning we could be in Marley as early as tomorrow. Is that correct?" The bags beneath his eyes were heavy, hair still disheveled from the long travels. The old lady turned to look at Mikasa, then Onyankapon, both sharing the same drained look as their captain.

Kiyomi gently smiled at the two Paradis soldiers and suddenly understood why those two were considered the strongest of their people — they were sleep deprived, exhausted, hungry, yet the only thing they could think about was their mission to move forward. A wave of compassion washed over Kiyomi as she took Levi by the hand. "Captain, you are correct. But you also need rest, no? Come and sit. The Azumabitos welcome you!"

She escorted them to their seats — intricately embroidered cushions lay on tatami mats in the beautiful imperial hall. Mikasa took a seat between Levi and Onyankapon, and three trays of food perched in front of each of them. Their eyes glimmered at the colorful spread of kabura zushi, stuffed red snapper, sweetfish, lobster tail, shrimp paste and abalone; the smell of the delicacies filled the air, not that they knew what any of it was. But damn did it look delicious. Two small women dressed in kimonos similar to that of Lady Kiyomi's approached and poured sake into delicate saucers for them to drink.

Lady Kiyomi stood, holding her saucer of sake in the air for a toast. "We have very special guests today. Traveling from far, we toast to the arrival of our dear Mikasa-chan and friends; Captain Levi and Onyankapon. May the gods bless their travels." Everyone cheered. "Hizuru treasures this reunion of our family."

The long awaited feast began. The same women in kimonos returned to guide the three foreigners on the order of which to eat their food. Mikasa enjoyed using chopsticks again and was thankful her mother taught her to use them long ago. She teased Levi and Onyankapon as they stumbled using the two sticks.

After a mere handful of bites of food and a couple of sips of warming sake, the men and women started to approach Mikasa. Everyone crowded around her, bowing, shaking her hand politely and welcoming her, eager to personally meet the Mikasa because she's family, they repeated. And with each body approaching, Levi saw Mikasa's fuse shorten more and more. Just as he was about to approach her, she stood quickly to her feet and startled the crowd around her.

"I'm sorry." Mikasa took three slow steps away from the crowd before rushing out of the banquet hall without a word. The entire banquet hall was brought to a perplexed silence as the large doors slammed shut behind her.

A deep rage and a sudden gut-wrenching grief she hadn't allowed herself to feel for years flooded her all at once. The word "family" was spat at her more times in the past hour than she'd ever heard in the past ten years of her life, ever since her parents were brutally killed in front of her eyes. She didn't know any of those men and women and yet they crowded over her and dared to call her family. The only family she'd ever known was taken traumatically from her long ago. Her mother should have been there with her in Hizuru — her father, too. Grisha and Carla. And now... Eren.

Mikasa stood in the empty hall of the castle and stared at the Azumabito symbol on her arm once more. It was supposed to be a mark of belonging, yet she felt even more isolated than ever; she realized the real reason she'd kept it hidden all this time. It simply felt unfair. She slumped over as her head throbbed with intense pain worse than earlier.

...Where do I even belong?

"Oi, princess."

Levi's playful voice caught the distressed girl by surprise. He seemed to always catch her amidst her outbursts, but she was never embarrassed with him. Mikasa was much too distracted to even consider lashing out at him for following her, because if she was honest with herself, she knew Levi was the only comforting presence in this entire foreign land. A lump swelled in her throat and she'd done well at keeping it all in. She was ready to be strong enough to face Levi again.

But the moment she turned and caught sight of the concern in Levi's kind eyes, every effort made to hold in all the pain simply broke all at once. Mikasa threw her shaky hands over her face, unable to look at him anymore. A childlike sob crashed into her sleeves, wailing with a deep cry and pain that shocked even Levi.

And as her stumbled feet uncontrollably brought her to stand in Levi's warm presence, he didn't even hesitate to embrace the crying woman.

His strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closely to himself as he let her cry. A gentle hand rested against the back of her raven hair, and he held her as though he'd never held anything else more precious.

She was warm, and her short hair was soft in his steady palm; his other hand stoked her back to ease her. He felt her tears soaking into his shoulder that Mikasa's sullen face pressed into. He held her so close that he felt each gasp for air escaping in between each muddled cry. Her trembling hands clutched the front of his shirt, and though the captain hated wrinkles on his clothes, none of that mattered right now. Her words were completely inaudible now, and he understood that this wasn't the type of pain anyone could talk about.

They stood there and held each other for what seemed like an eternity. Mikasa's sobs faded to slow and steady breaths against Levi.

And as Onyankapon, Lady Kiyomi and Hatori quietly rushed back into the banquet hall and pretended not to have seen the intimate embrace between the soldiers, Kiyomi smiled softly to herself. "Ahh... I see what's happening here."

The night was quiet as Hatori and his men escorted Mikasa, Levi and Onyankapon to their large residence for the night's stay at the base of the castle. The cherry blossom trees swaying in the night wind seemed even more beautiful in twilight, and the zen gardens that surrounded the home somehow seemed immaculate despite the wind. The home was humble, yet matched the detailed architecture of the castle that hovered over them.

It seemed so quiet, so peaceful, which was what Mikasa's busy mind needed.

As the old man greeted the three a goodnight, the soldiers settled into the home. Levi thanked Onyankapon for bringing them this far, acknowledging that they'd be parting ways with him the next morning. The Marleyan ally went to sleep early for his long solo travels back to Paradis at dawn.

...

...

In the quiet of the night, Mikasa quietly knocked on the shoji door of Levi's room. He slid it open without hesitation to see her. "Mikasa...?" He held his breath as he watched as her mysterious eyes connect with his.

She meant to speak, but found herself at a loss for words before him. There was very little distance between them at the doorway, and Mikasa wondered if Levi had suddenly become fully aware of that, too. Her smokey eyes wandered down and she could still see the wrinkles on the front of his unbuttoned shirt from their embrace in the castle earlier; when he held her close to himself, when he listened to her cries and comforted her, when she felt his comforting touch for the first time. Mikasa's skin flushed red, and she slowly looked up again at the captain's eyes in the dark.

The connection was unimaginably strong. Levi swallowed, watching her eyelashes flutter at him in the moonlight. He focused on his own heavy breaths, trying to control himself as he stood awaiting the woman who knocked on his door to mutter even a single word. Mikasa carefully raised her hand and traced down his shirt with a finger before placing her gentle palm against his broad chest. She could feel his heartbeat racing the same as hers, and he could feel her breaths grow heavy with his.

It took everything in him to not pull her to himself if she'd allow it. She leaned closer to his face and noticed something new deep in the midnight blue eyes that continued to dilate at her, refusing to even blink. She gandered at his parted lips and felt gravity pulling her forward, before she snapped out of it and broke away.

"I..." Mikasa created distance between them again, and words finally began to form out of her lips. "I just... wanted to let you know I'm gonna take a walk. Just fresh air. I won't be long."

Levi blinked, taking a second to regain his composure before giving a nod and scratching the back of his head. He hesitated as she turned and walked out of the house — not that Mikasa needed his permission, but because he'd prefer to uphold his promise to stay with her, even in something as small as a midnight walk.

But as always, Levi knew she needed space, and if he was honest with himself, his fast-beating heart and quiet gasps for breath as he remained leaned against the doorframe told him he could use the space, too. He sighed. If it were up to him, he would smother her with his love. But as in love with Mikasa Ackerman as he was, he had no intentions of crossing those boundaries with her.

Deep breaths, Levi.

The serene thought of Mikasa Ackerman taking a walk amongst the cherry blossoms seemed even relaxing to him; he knew it'd be good for her.

Mikasa quietly shut the wooden door of the house behind her, still flustered and breathing hard at the shock of what had almost happened. The stone path along the house invited her much needed getaway.

There was a peaceful creek ahead, and the subtle sound of a nearby bamboo fountain filled the air. She continued on a small wooden bridge over the creek. Another humble house stood across the way, with wooden wind chimes that seemed to dance with the breeze.

Mikasa caught herself in a daze. The sudden awareness that her long lost family must have roamed these unpaved streets before they retreated to the island made an ache in her heart arise.

Family. The word kept repeating in her mind.

She imagined her parents now; mother embroidering another pillow by the window like she always did, and father coming home with a duck to make her favorite dish. She paused to imagine what her grandmother could have possibly looked like, sitting outside the house listening to the wind chimes with her and her mother. Mikasa imagined crying in her mom's arms, and remembered how comforting it was to be held by someone who loves her.

Someone she feels safe with.

The embrace with Levi replayed in her mind. Again, and again. The way he held her and just let her sob in his arms. She remembered the way she leaned closer to him at his doorway, an unexplainable and overwhelming urge to kiss his lips.

Dammit. What am I doing?

A sakura blossom fell and fluttered before her eyes. She paused on the bridge and leaned on the railing, her eyes followed the fallen flower as it landed on the shallow water that passed beneath the low bridge. The trickling stream reflected the flickering light of the stars looming above her, begging her to look up.

Cosmos were everywhere, and suddenly the night didn't seem as dark as it did a moment ago. Combined with the peaceful scenery, the stars were overwhelmingly beautiful, but in a way that still reminded Mikasa of how small she was in this damn world. She felt small. Insignificant.

And so goddamn tired.

But Levi's gentle eyes kept flashing in her memory — this was a normal occurance now. That warmth and love she saw in his eyes was surprisingly all too consistent, all too familiar. It was never a one-time memory. Levi wasn't a man who only dared to look at her like that in the dark of the night at the doorway of his room.

Levi had those stars in his glowing eyes whenever he looked at her, talked to her, held her, laughed with her and had tea with her. Every single time. Never once did she feel small or insignificant with him. Her world was fucking dark and bleak but as she stopped to think of it, Captain Levi was the only light that pushed her forward, even when Eren was around.

She sighed, looking level at the scenery of the night in front of her. Levi was her chosen family, she realized. This was an untold truth she could no longer deny. But it was hard to put into words whatever this affection and importance for Levi was growing on her. He was someone closest and dearest to her heart — closer to her than any of the dozens of people who dared to call her family that day; closer than Armin, and...

Closer than Eren.

And as she thought of Levi's tender smile, her headache throbbed once again. Her eyes closed tightly, both hands held against her head in pain.

You lose everyone you love.

They will leave.

They always leave.

...

...

"Mikasa." Levi approached her on the wooden bridge, panting heavily. By the looks of it, he had sprinted to find her. "Mikasa... There you are." He hunched over with one hand on the railing while catching his breath.

"Levi... Why are you here?"

"It's getting late. It's been three hours since you left." Judging by the look on her face, Levi figured Mikasa hadn't even realized it'd been that long. "If we're leaving in the morning, you need to res—"

"Levi." Her voice was more stern, more serious as she repeated the question. "Why are you here?" She turned her face to him, now irate.

Levi was taken aback, but his unsettledness never outweighed his concern for the woman he loves. "I needed to check if you were okay. Mikasa, earlier... Earlier you... You seemed so broken. It's my job to make sure everything is—"

"It's not your fucking job to check on me or fix me, Levi."

"Mikasa?" There was shock in his voice now.

She stepped backwards away from him. "You need to stay away from me, Levi. You need to." She couldn't even look at him. Her lips quivered through her words. "It was a mistake to bring you with me. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to come with me to find Eren. I can find him myself. It's time for you to go back."

"Mikasa." Levi pulled closer to her, placing an unsure hand on her arm before moving to reach for her hand. "I made a promise to you. Mikasa, pleas—"

"STOP fucking saying my name." She slapped his hand away with force and shoved him backwards. "And I didn't ask you to make a promise to me! I cannot STAND you. Levi, I don't want you." Her risen voice echoed through the area. "I don't want you anywhere near me!"

Levi almost stepped towards her — a force of habit. But as he stumbled backwards, he was confused. One moment he was comforting Mikasa Ackerman in the halls of the castle, embracing her as she cried in his arms, and close to kissing her in the dead of the night, and now... She was telling him to leave.

"Mikasa, I don't know what happened but I know you don't mean that."

"Levi. I'm in love with Eren. You can't fall in love with me." She held back tears and hid her face now. This fucking hurts. "You are nothing to me but a shitty captain who can't leave me alone. I want you to leave."

"...Do you really mean this? Do you really want me to leave?"

Mikasa made the mistake of glimpsing at his eyes again. The usual gentleness that her heart ached for wasn't there anymore for the first time. But he still wasn't angry. No... God, he just looked so hurt, and for the first time in her life it looked like Captain Levi might shed a tear. He looked so fucking broken, so crushed, yet he still had so much love in his eyes.

But she couldn't accept that anymore. He cannot love her. She can't love him. She can't accept Levi's love, because if she did — even for a moment — Levi would eventually be gone, too. Something will happen. Something always happens. Levi would leave, or be killed because of her. For once, she wanted to keep someone precious to her alive.

For once, she wanted to keep the person she loves alive and safe.

"I mean it. Please, Levi. Just leave."

She was begging Levi to leave her again, just like before. Except this time, without another word, Levi quietly turned his back to her and walked away.

The clouds rolled in and covered the stars in the sky.

AUTHOR NOTES:

I'm sooo sorry guys! This chapter broke me. The way my eyes got misty and face turned hot while writing this.

There's a lot going on, in case you haven't caught on yet.

Hatori is an original character! Fun fact: I got his name from a Fruits Basket character that reminds me a lot of Levi :') He means well and honestly is just too pushy of a guy lol. Levi just gets protective when he sees Mikasa being pushed around.

Hizuru feast! Aka family gathering. Don't know about y'all but as an asian, giant asian family reunions really can be super overwhelming. For Mikasa there were more layers to dissect, of course. But she's come to the realization that Levi is her chosen family now — by chosen family, a person who is closest to her heart.

The EMBRACE. No words. I wish Levi held me like that.

I threw in a lil bit of spice and tension ;) Sorry about that, too LOL.

The conversation at the end honestly broke me. I kind just free-wrote all of that, and at the end realized I drew unspoken inspo from one of the most heartbreaking scene of Crash Landing on You. It's a part that ALWAYS gets me crying, so this is no surprise to me. Mikasa is pushing him away like crazy and trying to use her "love for Eren" as an excuse now.

What will happen now that they've parted ways?