Summary:

As they wait for nightfall to break into the Tybur palace, Levi and Mikasa share vulnerable moments in the forest. Mikasa is asked how she feels about Eren; Levi is asked about his past love. Mikasa wrestles with the Captain's final orders.

The unpaved route to the Tybur palace felt unnervingly long; the forest canopies that covered Levi and Mikasa seemed far too reminiscent of their Scouting missions. The lack of ODM gear was something the two Scouts had to adjust to, but the strength of two clansmen of the Ackerman bloodline was enough safety for them.

It hadn't been long since they jumped off of the horse and began treading on foot, giving much needed rest to their tired stallion. There was a creek leading them from the mid-point of the forest and outwards west; just as Carmen had described for their travels. Going through the forest surrounding the palace seemed much more safe than riding in the open towards the way. With each step, Levi and Mikasa discussed the game plan, and the goal for finding Kruger was becoming closer at hand.

The deeper they got into the forest, the quieter the trickles of stream became as they neared the western part of Marley and found the edge of the forest at last. Just past the bushes, Levi and Mikasa caught sight of the Tybur palace. They made it.

Despite game plans and the leads to Eren, it still remained quiet between Mikasa and Levi. The last exchange of words continued running through their minds, though, stubborn as can be, neither of them would admit it.

It'd been years since Levi had even spoken of his comrades' deaths aloud. He closed his eyes; he visualized ahead of him the hundreds upon hundreds of fallen comrades — the weight of their lives on his shoulders was unbearably crushing.

Confessing to Mikasa that the death of a comrade like Petra Ral was his burden to bear was unexpected. He realized the closer he got to Mikasa Ackerman, the more she'd eventually know about even the darkest corners of his mind. This kind of vulnerability was yet another part of loving someone that a man like Levi was not entirely prepared for.

"We made it early," Levi faltered back into the forest and let the wall of leaves continue to hide them, "I'll wait until sun down to get in. For now, let's stop here." He tied the rested steed to a nearby log next to the stream, petting its mane as it gracefully bent down to drink the fresh water. Levi opened the single water flask and took a large sip, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before handing the flask to Mikasa.

She stared and blinked at the opening before taking it from him and drinking some, careful not to consume too much to conserve what little they had to share. Mikasa took a seat on another log, placing the flask to her right and clearing the seat to her left. "It'll be awhile til sundown." She nodded towards the space beside her.

Levi received the signal, and followed suit to sit beside her, still careful to keep distance. The way Mikasa clasped her hands in her lap, tapping her foot and fidgeting with her thumbs told Levi there was something on the tip of her tongue.

"Captain," she gulped. It wasn't easy to speak. "What do you think Eren could be planning?"

He sighed, shoulders dropping as he exhaled. The gravity of finding out about Eren—no, Kruger—joining the military of the enemy territory was consuming and stressful already; what more to imagine what impulsive plan he had up his sleeve. "Don't know. But joining their military can't be a good sign." His eyes continued to watch her fidgeting fingers before he sat up and straightened his back. "You okay, Ackerman?"

"What if... Eren puts us all in danger?" Mikasa's pressed lips parted again. "...What if he knows he's putting me—us in danger?" Her hands unclasped and lay tired on her knees now. A cold chuckle left her lifeless smirk, and her voice died down to a quiet hum. "What if he doesn't care I've come here to save him again?"

Levi looked to Mikasa, his eyes softening to the unsure deliberation on her face. If Levi was a selfish man, he'd tell the woman his brutal thoughts; that Mikasa Ackerman deserved much more than whatever she accepted of Jaeger. But of all people, as he looked at the raven-haired woman, he understood that love wasn't something you could pick and choose. And if Mikasa had loved Eren for years, it sure as hell would take more than this moment to convince her to see she deserves much more. He had no right to tell her to abandon what love she had, to fall out of it with Jaeger, though a selfish part of his heart wished for that to come true. What left his mouth was much simpler than his thoughts.

"Do you still love the guy, Ackerman?"

Mikasa was flustered at the sudden question. There was no way she would ever admit to Levi that whatever love she still had left for Eren after all these years felt... obligatory. Instead, she stuttered, and her voice shrunk into her throat. She attempted to recite her script. "He... He saved me. I was 10. He wrapped that scarf around me, and... Then..."

"That was thirteen years ago, Mikasa. You've lived life since then," Levi's head fell backwards as he sighed to the sky, "You're more than what Eren does or doesn't think of you. You deserve more than a damn scarf. And hell, you give the shitty brat more love than he deserves." He looked at her, thankful Mikasa wasn't seeing the tinge of jealousy in his eyes. "If he doesn't care that you crossed the fucking world to save him, he's a dumbass who takes you for granted."

He stopped, realizing he was too harsh with her.

Mikasa didn't know how to react. Her face flushed with something of embarrassment and irritation. She didn't know what she wanted at that moment, but she knew that type of painful honesty certainly was not it... even if it was true. Still, a scoff brushed from her tongue and she stood up, angered. "What do you even know about love?" She was annoyed at Levi now, for more reasons than she could name. "You wouldn't fucking understand. You've never loved someone like this. What could you know about losing someone you love?"

Levi bit his cheek and his eyes narrowed at the ground. It took all of himself to not tell Mikasa the truth of why he came to Marley with her, why he's continuing to risk his life for her again and again.

My mother... Farlan, Isabel, Erwin, and Petra. I can't lose you, too.

Mikasa bitterly remembered the burning words Levi had shared with her that morning. Her worried eyes shot back to Levi, whose tense eyes were already staring back at her. "I'm sorry." She trailed back to him, standing before him as he looked away. Mikasa could see memories flashing in her captain's eyes; haunting images he didn't wish to see again.

He shifted in his seat and sighed. Mikasa retook her seat beside Levi and swallowed. "Levi?" She dusted her trousers and pointed her knees towards him. "Tell me about your mother. Farlan and Isabel, Erwin. And Petra." She placed a hand gently on his. "I... want to hear about the people you've loved."

The people I've loved?

Levi could've laughed at the notion of the woman he loved asking him about the people he has loved in the past. The glimmer of curiosity in her eyes brought a quiet smile to his face despite the painful memories. But the more Mikasa asked him to open up to her about anything, the harder it was to deny answering. If Levi was honest, holding back anything from Mikasa Ackerman was becoming impossible.

And so he told her his stories.

He told her about the dark of the Underground; that his mother, Kuchel, grew sick a few short years after giving birth to him. How she managed to raise him even for a few years being absolutely poor and diseased was beyond his comprehension.

Mikasa brought her knees to her chest, listening more intently. She flashed a soft smile to him, encouraging him to continue on. Levi did just that.

Levi shared when he and Farlan were partners-in-crime, quite literally. Mikasa laughed at the idea of her captain being a top criminal thug of the lands below Paradis, but it fascinated her. Farlan was a brother he never thought he could have in the world without sun.

Then a spunky Isabel flew through their door; a small, injured sparrow in her clumsy hands. That was the first time Levi had once imagined what soaring through skies of sun and clouds that people had always talked about.

He shared about Erwin Smith, and how the man's loyalty to the truth was a fire that ignited him. That owning up to being Humanity's Strongest was largely in part of Erwin's search for the truth, and that they could travel a world's away to Marley and Hizuru because of the crazy Commander's efforts.

A handful of stories later, the sun finally began lowering. Orange speckles of dappled light peering through the canopy of leaves above began to shine on Levi's face. Mikasa was peeling potatoes and readying a quick meal for the both of them. She handed Levi the measly food before she pried even more. There was something about hearing Levi telling her about parts of his life she'd never known that brought her a simple joy.

Petra was the next to speak about. This… This was harder for Levi. He recalled the angered eyes of Carmen as he visualized the fallen soldier's golden eyes staring at him. He wasn't the only one who blamed Captain Levi for her death. Petra Ral's story was something else.

"Petra and I…" Levi paused, staring at the food prepared before him. "What happened with Petra was different."

"That's Levi," A soldier's voice stuttered to a comrade as they watched the short man enter the hall. "He came from the Underground."

"Underground?" Miche Zacharias took a large sniff into the height of the air, closing his eyes as he went. "Doesn't smell like he's from the Underground."

"Apparently he's a total clean freak!" Hange bellowed in laughter, wiping a tear from their eyes as the laughter subsided. "He's closed off though, isn't he?"

Levi had just joined the training corp just a couple of weeks ago, along with two others who came from the same place. No one could really tell what those three's relationship was with each other — but they stuck together like a pack of dogs out for kill, and no one dared to approach the Underground thugs, save for Hange who liked to poke fun at Levi.

Until the 84th Expedition outside the walls when the auburn-haired girl and the blonde guy didn't come back with Levi.

If that short man wasn't already closed off to anyone besides Farlan and Isabel, the Scouts knew he was even more closed when he came back alone. He returned from that expedition with something even colder in his atmosphere, something heavier on his shoulders, driving people further away.

Despite having rather personable dorm mates like Eld, Gunther, and Oluo, Levi continued to have meals by himself, quickly followed by drinking tea in the mere quiet of his room for as long as he could. It was a miracle that his teamwork on the battlefield was still impeccable, his superiors thought.

One afternoon, Levi sat in the mess hall following Eld's pushes to eat with them. Lunch was disgusting as usual. There was ruckus around him, and he remembered why he preferred to be by himself. Levi brushed off small talk, ignored Miche smelling him, and brushed off Hange's usual short-jokes — he'd gotten used to it after two years, after all.

The entrance to the mess hall swung open, and a handful of new training recruits entered view. Their faces were always the same. Some had hope painted on, others had doubtful determination. Some looked as though they hadn't the slightest idea of what they signed up for.

They each passed, one by one, and not a single interesting person had come along — until a girl with red hair and amber eyes walked in from the end of the line.

She had no fear, but she had determination and vigor, yet that wasn't what took Levi by attention. It was the smile she had on her face; the way she greeted everyone around her to introduce herself with excitement.

Perhaps she was naive, but she was… interesting, Levi thought.

He was just about done eating his food and stood at the edge of the table to leave. Gunther joked about something with Eld who proceeded to elbow him in the gut. Hange's projected laughter filled the hall. Levi stopped when he caught a shy glimpse of the red-headed girl approaching.

"Um, hi there! I'm Petra Ral, a new recruit. May I sit here?" Petra spoke to all of them, but locked her eyes on Levi standing in front of her who was about to leave.

He looked at her and blinked before setting his tray of food back down, hastily retaking his seat. Hange snickered.

Two hours passed. Hange, Eld, Oluo and Gunther had already gone back to their corridors. But Levi decided to stay for the first time, as Petra and him shared stories and chuckles. The mess hall was closing up, and they were forced to call it a night.

As they were about to part ways, Petra turned around to him. "Will I... find you at the same spot tomorrow?"

Levi turned his cool profile to the girl, his eyes softened. "Same spot." He softly smiled towards her, and she returned the same.

Levi had made conscious efforts to have meals with the group now. Petra joined them for meals, too. Levi's attention to her shifted to an undeniable affection rather quickly, which was something he'd never known or experienced in the Underground.

Then one day, Erwin Smith named Levi the Captain of the Survey Corps.

And his days got busier. Responsibilities became bigger. Burdens got heavier. He didn't join meals as often as he used to. And the only time he saw Petra was in brief hello's during rare passing moments in the headquarters. Weeks turned to two years.

It was better this way, he thought. What's the use in getting close to people who you can't expect to be around tomorrow?

Then Eren Jaeger happened. And Levi was given the weighty task of forming a Special Operations Squadron to oversee the hope of humanity. Without a second thought, he hand-picked the very soldiers he could count on: Eld, Oluo, Gunther, and… Petra.

Levi was able to have meals together with Petra again, along with morning tea. Levi wouldn't mention it, but his moments with Petra were the lightest moments he'd have since first seeing the open sky.

They got closer.

Petra made her feelings known to Levi; he did too.

And they kissed the night before their expedition with Eren.

Petra Ral was killed the next day.

Levi exhaled a trembled breath. "Petra was my first love. And look at what happened." His eyes focused on a tree ahead of him; memories flashing of Petra's corpse staring at him against a sycamore. A bitter laugh left his lips as he shook his head to himself, kicking a rock in front of him. "I'm a fucking curse."

Mikasa's heart was beating uncontrollably fast. She understood. His stories, his loss, his guilt and his fear to let anyone get too close anymore. Mikasa knew this all too well. She silently wiped tears from her face. It was a mix of everything. Sadness that a man like Levi had to experience that kind of grief. Frustration at the violent world that took things and people away from Levi. Pain that Levi couldn't love again. Maybe he wouldn't.

And maybe if the world weren't so fucking cruel, maybe he would love again eventually. Even if it isn't me, she wished.

But even beneath all of that, Mikasa felt an unspoken, cruel relief and shock that someone in this lonely world could relate to a person like her. And maybe, she was beginning to see herself in him.

"Brat. Why are you crying?" He chuckled, nudging her with his shoulder.

Mikasa covered her face. Levi almost reached to her to hold her before she spoke again. "Is it..." her words broke apart in her timid voice, "Is it possible to love again?" Mikasa uncovered her face and stared into his eyes, and in some ways, Mikasa was staring at herself. The anguished face of hers looked as though it was pleading. Please.

He looked at her for a moment, aching desperately to answer. Instead, Levi stood from the log and looked forward, ignoring her question. His throat cleared. "The sun's down. Mikasa, I need you to stay back and wait for me. From here on, I'll handle everything."

"...Captain?" Mikasa was adamant and stubborn, and what Levi was suggesting was not something she was willing to budge on even if he was ordering her as her captain. Her leftover tears kept falling, and she sniffled through her words. "I'm going with you. I'm not going to let you do this alone."

"Mikasa, it will be dangerous. The Tyburs are a powerful family. They may be gone right now, but the palace is still heavily guarded with guns." Levi threw on a hooded jacket, covering his face. "I'm not letting you get into more danger."

"Levi."

"You'll stay back when I leave. That's an order, Ackerman."

"So, what? You're just gonna make me sit here to do nothing?"

"If that's what keeps you safe."

"I'm. going. with. you."

"No. I'm ordering you to sta—"

"Will you please stop pushing me away, Levi?" She was projecting now, still careful to not yell too loud to blow their cover. Her fists clenched and fell to her sides.

"Mikasa. I'm not fucking risking your life anymore." Levi hissed through his teeth.

"I'm your soldier, Captain. I'm supposed to follow you even to the death—"

"That's the same thing Petra had said before she fucking died." Levi's voice finally raised and matched her volume. His pleading tone concerned Mikasa and stopped her in place. He paused, his words burned in his chest. "You're not just a soldier to me, Mikasa." Levi treaded forward towards the bushes to leave without her before Mikasa spoke once more.

"Then what am I to you, Levi?"

Levi stopped in his tracks. There was a bitter silence. A look of deliberation rose on his face as he turned to Mikasa and approached her slowly, standing in front of her face to face.

Levi looked at her face and features as if studying it for the last time; his eyes were full of anguish. And if this was the last time he'd see her, Levi wished to kiss the lips of the woman he loves. He wanted desperately to kiss her the way he would've kissed her by the fireplace that night. The lovestruck captain reached his palm to her cheek, caressing her soft skin beneath her scar. Mikasa melted into his touch and closed her eyes for a moment.

But more than a kiss, Levi wanted her to stay alive. He wanted her to live to see another day. Her safety was always far more important to him than anything else. Mikasa felt the electricity between them as he pulled away.

Levi pulled from his bag, placing something in her hands.

What's the use in getting close to people who you can't expect to be around tomorrow?

"I'm going now."

"...Levi?"

"Mikasa, stay hidden. I'll meet you back here. And if I don't come back by midnight… You run back to Marley, back to the port and leave as soon as you can." He paused.

She watched bitterly as Levi pushed through the edge of the forest and ran towards the castle, then looked to what lay in her hands.

The red scarf.

Levi didn't turn around as he sprinted forward; he knew if he'd met eyes with her, he would want to run back or bring her with him into the danger. Don't die on me, Mikasa.

The Tybur palace was full speed ahead of him now; in the nighttime, its marble structure still had an inviting glow. Hundreds of tall windows lined the opulent structure; the regal dwelling seemed very much like a living and breathing being of its own. The balusters and beams holding each brick in place added yet another layer of extravagance that not even the great architects of Stohess had known.

Levi peeked through the garden hedges in the courtyard and counted two dozen guards in red lining the perimeter of the front of the palace; likely double if there were guards at the back. The sight of the armed guards made Levi undeniably aware of his lack of ODM gear and swords. Armed with him was his favorite knife, which was always enough for him to get through even the toughest of thug territory in the Underground.

He heard footsteps approaching from a few yards out, and managed to duck and maneuver around the other side of the hedges. It'd been a long time since working by himself, but if this was the price he had to pay for keeping Mikasa out of danger, it was one he was undoubtedly willing to figure out on his own. He breathed quietly through his nose, waiting for the perfect opportunity to move forward towards the palace. He grabbed a handful of rocks from the garden and threw them far from himself, leading a couple of courtyard guards following the sound as he snuck past them.

Once you make it to the courtyard on the west side, climb the gate over.

Levi was well concealed once again as he stared up towards the tall metal gates surrounding the palace, yet not too tall for his nimble skills. All the ex-thug needed was some momentum and a strong grip. Another moment, another opening. He rolled backwards, staying low to the ground, before sprinting forward, hurling himself high onto a metal bar of the gate, easily climbing it up like a rope before making it to the top. Levi jumped down to the gravel, breaking the fall with a roll. The sound of the fall was louder than he'd expected.

"Did you hear that?"

Shit.

There's an opening from there that creates a perfect hiding spot.

He sprinted right towards the edge of the walls of the structure, catching himself in the perfect wedge and blocking himself from the view of more guards who came to inspect the sound they'd heard. He wiped a bead of sweat on his head, processing his next move. The marble walls had no crevices to them for climbing, and the windows directly above him from there were far too high to climb into alone.

At the opening, face out and turn right. Go along the walls. You'll find an opening to the inner courtyard.

Once you're in the inner courtyard, there are stairs leading to the nursery.

Levi found his way inside of the nursery; a beautiful greenhouse filled with vibrant exotic plants he'd never even seen before. The aroma enticed him, but not enough to stick around. Time was key.

There will be an opening at the other end of the greenroom, leading to an arched hallway.

He stopped, pressing his back against a pillar while peeking into the halls before sprinting in.

From there, there will be a door with a stained glass window with a rose on it to your left. Keep moving past it.

Once you're there, a window pane at the end of the hall will be open. Tybur tends to keep it open for their pet cat. You're a small guy, you'll fit in.

Carmen's directions proved to be helpful.

He was in.

Mikasa stayed fixated on the red scarf in her hands. Why did Levi bring this back? She'd left it in Hizuru for a reason; seeing it again was an unwanted surprise. Her brows furrowed. Its red color felt triggering. Some way, somehow, she was starting to really fucking hate that scarf.

She inched towards the horse. Its tail swung back and forth and it softly neighed to her as she fed it an apple. "How could he throw this back at me and then leave me to do nothing..." Mikasa stroked the mane of the horse, detangling a part. "What do you think?" The horse blinked at her.

"I know, I know. He just wanted to keep me safe," she pouted, "As if I can't handle the danger." The horse's tail wagged once more, and they met eyes. Mikasa chuckled at the thought of talking to a damn horse, then exhaled. "Do you think that shorty can handle it on his own?" She squatted to the ground and leaned her arms over her knees rocking back and forth a bit, then letting out a sigh of defeat.

"He thinks he's invincible. So cocky." She chuckled. Mikasa stood and brushed off her trousers of leaves and dust, then walked over to the bush to peek through.

It'd been awhile since she saw Levi disappear past the courtyard, and if she thought about it too much, she'd start to get too worried. But he was Captain Levi. He was the top thug of the Underground full of criminals, apparently. And she was certain this would be easy for someone like him. It had to be.

Just as Mikasa began to turn around and go back to the horse again, she saw lights from the far off roads moving, approaching the palace. Two lights turned to a trail of forty, and her curious eyes narrowed to see the unnerving sight of twenty military cars driving up to the Tybur palace. Worry flooded her. "Levi," she whispered, as she took a few steps back, continuing to watch carefully.

Each car parked close to the front gate of the palace. It was hard to see exactly how many men came out of each vehicle, but there were far more than what seemed necessary. A man dressed in a suit with long blond hair came out of one, trailed by someone in a white military uniform different from the others.

"No, no, no, no..." Mikasa threw her hooded coat over herself and fastened her boots.

Tybur and Magath were back two days early, and Levi was already inside the palace.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Chapter 8!

The last chapter had a lot of Levi/Carmen plot development so I wanted to focus on Mikasa and Levi's relationship again here. I think they needed some forced quiet time alone to talk about some much-needed things.

Levi is starting to get uneasy about Mikasa finding out more about his demons, but the understanding between them is getting even stronger. Levi still thinks Mikasa still loves Eren, and he's starting to become frustrated though he is patient and understanding.

Mikasa learns about Levi's old fallen love. Her heart breaks at the thought of Levi being afraid to love again; it makes her realize she is the same. The thought of falling in love after falling out of love is still something she's trying to grasp. At the very least, she's starting to realize how reckless Eren is and that Eren takes her for granted.

Some more back story to Levi and Petra. ;-; This goes out to Petra! Fun fact: I was a HUGE Rivetra fan before I came on board to Rivamika. I like to think that Petra was Levi's first love that opened and unlocked Levi to love lol. Of course, Mikasa is his ultimate love after :')

Levi was originally gonna carry out the mission with Mikasa until he spoke about what happened with Petra. He doesn't want the same thing to happen to her, so he doesn't kiss her, and forces her to stay put.

Now, Levi is in the palace, and Magath and Tyber and many soldiers have arrived. Will he make it out safely?

Let me know all your thoughts! 3 I hope y'all love it!