Summary:
On their way to the safety of the Strauss estate, Mikasa carefully tends to Levi's wounds dealt from the palace escape. Levi and Mikasa encounter a strange Marleyan soldier who can see through their front as they get closer to finding Eren.
Captain Levi…
Please…
A faded voice rose in his ears. He felt a warm palm tapping against his cheek as his eyes peered open to the lights of a soft moon shining through a canopy of trees into his pupils, begging him to wake. He breathed in; a sharp agonizing pain stabbed at his back as he softly rolled against the hard forest ground.
Levi's eyes blinked open slowly. Mikasa's sobbing face streaked with a line of blood hovered above him; droplets from her closed eyes fell onto Levi's cold nose. He shot up, a wail of pain escaped his short breaths as he struggled to move at all. Leaves rustled beneath him as he painfully pushed himself off of the floor.. "...Am I fucking dead?"
Her gloomy eyes shot open as she gasped at the sound and sight of Levi's sudden awakening. "L-LEVI?!" A relieved Mikasa lunged forward to him in a sudden embrace, squeezing him tightly to herself and causing him to bellow in pain again.
"Ah—shit!"
Mikasa flew back from him, hands hovered in the air afraid to touch his injured body again. Levi gritted his teeth. "You trying to kill me now too, Ackerman?"
"I'm so sorry—Captain, you're finally awake!" A miserable attempt of a smile rose on her scrunched face as she wiped her tears with her wrists. Levi noticed her pale hands covered in dried blood and hoped none of it was her own. With another wince of pain, Levi propped himself up and tried to level himself to her. Mikasa carefully assisted him upwards. The back of his shoulder pulsated with pain; the bullet screamed at him from inside his pierced muscles.
Levi looked down at himself. The opening of his unbuttoned shirt revealed a torn red scarf wrapped around and over the site of the wound. Segments of it were soaked in a darker and deeper color than the already crimson hue of the fabric. He looked up at Mikasa and the surrounding forest that protected them. She must have carried me, he thought.
"Mikasa... Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
She wiped the leftover tears from her face before glaring at him; Levi couldn't tell if she was going to cry or yell at him. "Are you kidding? Levi, don't worry about me. I'm okay. Are you? I… You passed out after..." Mikasa's eyes shot down to the ground as she shook her head continuously. "They stopped chasing us but... I should've seen the guard… Levi, you shouldn't have gotten hurt in my place. Again." She covered her face with her arms.
It happened again.
From the day Mikasa met her Captain, it was like this. She was neglectful in the forest years ago, and it was her neglect and lack of skill that cost them humanity's strongest during a time they needed him most. And yet here they were again — she brought him to Marley, and he was bleeding in pain because of her.
"I'm weak. I haven't changed. I can't protect anyone." She gritted her teeth in mumbled frustration as she continued down the rabbit hole of self-deprecation.
"Hey." Levi's voice stopped her. For a fickle moment, the lack of pain on Levi's face took Mikasa by surprise. He looked at her with that permanent sureness that always begged to comfort her.
Mikasa knew exactly what he was going to say — the same shit again, that it was his choice that he didn't regret. "Levi… I just wanted to be the one to do something for you — to protect you for once."
"You think you haven't protected me, Ackerman? Look at me."
Mikasa glanced up from her hands and looked at his injured body. It didn't help at all.
"What I mean is," he leaned close to her as much as he could, fighting back any pain that begged him to lay back down, "Who the hell showed up to the Tybur's just to warn me? Who jumped out of a building with me? And carried dead weight like me all the way to safety despite dozens of gunned men who probably chased you?" He carefully tugged the red garment-turned-bandage on his arm; eyes softened as he visualized the woman ripping up the scarf to aid his wound. He closed his eyes, holding in another wince of pain before continuing. "You save me plenty, Mikasa."
"But you... You could've died, Levi."
"And I would have for you. Because this world would be too fucking bleak without Mikasa Ackerman."
Levi looked her straight in the eyes. She blushed, suddenly remembering their intimate kiss in the palace before it all. Levi remembered at that moment, too. He'd have scratched his undercut with his injured arm if he could.
He cleared his throat, and his back pulsated more at the subtle movement. "...Anyway, this really fucking hurts. But I'll live. Both of us will." Levi carefully brushed a tear from Mikasa's face and wiped her forehead clean of the streak of blood with his sleeve. "We're gonna make it out of this goddamn place together. And I owe you shitty tea and those pastries you like when we get back."
"You mean croissants?" Mikasa chuckled at his detailed memory, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as Levi quietly laughed through a gruntled smile. "Is that a promise, Levi?"
"It is."
For a light second, Levi pictured what a gem of a woman like Mikasa would answer to having a proper date with him after this all was over. Not just after they went back to Paradis, but after all of it. Come to think of it, this was the first time he'd ever imagined what life could be like after the war — if only it meant Mikasa would continue to be in his life.
But assuming anything past tomorrow was rather deceitful for the man whose very duty proves that life is fleeting. The hope Levi rediscovers every time he looks at Mikasa was precisely the kind of hope he'd always avoided. But maybe, for this moment alone, Levi could dare to hope to continue living forward together with Mikasa. Maybe it was the only wishful and hopeful thinking he desired to hold onto. Still, he held himself back. No way in hell am I gonna ask her on a damn date looking like this.
Pain stabbed at Levi's back once again. His head twisted away with tightly closed eyes as his voice softened. "Please, just stay alive, Mikasa."
"...Yes, Captain."
Mikasa glanced over, her blush interrupted by the sight of Levi who was now slumped onto the ground, breathing hard as the pain began to gnaw at him in full force again. She crawled over to him and quickly placed the back of her hand to his forehead, feeling just how cold he was. It was hard to see in the forested night, but Mikasa knew he must be pale as a ghost from the pain and blood he's lost. She carefully picked him up to his feet from the ground and brought them to the horse.
"We have to get back to Carmen. Please bear with me protecting you a little longer, Levi."
The twilight hours on horseback returning to the Strauss estate were excruciating. Levi had been through many battles before; the unending amount of scars on his body were enough to tell the stories of his pained victories. But he'd never gotten hurt like this, he thought. Every gallop of the horse felt like a stab in his back, even as Mikasa held him closely in the ride. He felt his lips get colder every few yards, but... goddammit, how long have they been horseback?
"We're getting close," Mikasa mustered through the gallops. "We'll at least be able to stitch you up, Levi. You're going to be okay. Just... hold on."
They turned a corner and caught sight of the estate at long last. Fucking finally, Levi thought as he continued pacing his breaths. Almost there. The thought of falling asleep on that loveseat next to that fireplace again sounded like the closest thing to heaven for him.
Mikasa aggressively pulled on the horse's reins, bringing them to a sudden halt that triggered more of Levi's pained wounds. The horse neighed quietly, almost as if signaling Mikasa its own shared confusion as it trampled in a circle before standing still.
"Levi... Do you hear that?"
The estate was quite a visible distance away, yet the two soldiers could still hear the crashing of glass and furniture echoing from inside of the home. Shadows marched in the windows, making the far-off light of the windows flicker in view. They squinted, revealing unmistaken silhouettes of the guardsmen they had run from.
"Hey, lovebirds." Mikasa and Levi turned to the startling voice behind them in the forest; a cloaked figure emerged from the dark holding the lead of another horse. A hood slipped off of the figure's head for a moment, revealing the defeated face of Carmen. "They got me. It's all over. The bastards..." She scoffed. "What happened back there? How the hell did they know I sent you?"
"Carmen," Mikasa pleaded, having no time to answer. Levi's head fell back into Mikasa's shoulder and she could feel how cold he'd gotten. "Levi has been shot. We need your help." The raven-haired girl reached into her jacket and pulled out the folder Levi had taken from the palace. "Will you help us?"
Carmen gripped the lead of her horse tightly and observed Levi, who couldn't even look up to her, before snatching the folder away — not that there was any damn use for the information anymore. "There's nothing I can do. You can keep the horse. This is the last I can offer."
There was desperation and rage in Mikasa's eyes; the expression that a woman forced into a corner would give. "Then tell me where I can go, Carmen! I can't let him die here. He needs to get treated now."
Carmen knew that desperate look very well, to which she bit her lip and finally gave Mikasa a hesitant answer. "...There is a hospital east of here, but it's inside the—" Carmen saw the way Mikasa shifted in place, ready to leave. "Kid, listen to me!" she stepped forward, scanning their surroundings, "You go to any hospital here, and you're done, too—you won't be going home." She saw the unstoppable look on Mikasa's determined face. "I'm serious. Don't get smart about it, either. It'll get you in deep shit."
We're gonna make it out of this goddamn place together. And I owe you shitty tea and those pastries you like when we get back.
Is that a promise, Levi?
It is.
Mikasa snapped the ropes of the horse's head and kicked her heels, speeding off to the East as she remembered the last words Levi said to her. Those won't be his fucking last words.
"W-wait! Don't—" Carmen's quieted words fell into her throat as she couldn't compromise her location; Levi and Mikasa were already far too gone. She squatted back again, hiding in the forest. "Idiots...!"
Mikasa continued following the eastern glowing lights in the night sky that she saw when leaving Carmen, reassured that it would lead her back to the city. Levi was struggling; the bouncing of each step of the horse jostled him into much more pain than the step before. Mikasa's frantic mind was at a loss. Tybur was onto them, and it could compromise the entire mission—it could even compromise Eren—and making it back to Paradis safely was becoming out of grasp.
Their only known connection for help was gone. Levi was growing weaker, and Paradis' strongest could no longer fight. Mikasa could retreat. Then maybe, somehow, they could wait six days for the ship to Hizuru. But Levi couldn't last six more days like this. Not in this condition.
Think, Mikasa.
Make a goddamn choice.
She held back tears and continued holding Levi closer to her with more determination than ever.
"Mikasa..." he groaned through the growing pain, "You need to leave me behind. I'll find Eren — I'll die trying. You have to get back to Paradis. It's over."
"I'm sorry, Captain. I choose your life. And I'm not leaving you behind. I'm with you. And you need me." She kicked at the horse with full speed now.
The entrance to the city started to look much... different. As they sped up the hill, she began to see it even clearer — rounded and enclosed... walls?
"Who's there?!"
Mikasa yanked the reins again and her arms shot into the air at the sound of a man's voice behind them, expecting the pointed rifles of the Tybur men to have found them. "Please, he's hurt! He needs medical attention! I'll stay—I'll give you anything. I don't care what happens to me," the pleading in her voice was heartbreaking, "Just help him." The thought of being stopped once again was killing her. Time was of the essence.
"Hey, hey, relax," the bewildered voice approached. A young blonde man in military uniform approached with an oil lantern, lifting it into view of the raven-haired woman holding a man atop of a horse. He moved the lantern closer to the man, revealing a pale face and bloodied back wrapped in red. "What happened?"
"I'll tell you after we get to a hospital, please—"
"You left the walls without armbands."
Mikasa glanced down to the red band around the man's arm then stayed silent, trying to form any kind of answer that could make sense in her head before speaking.
"You know Eldians could get killed if they re-enter the walls of the Internment Zone without wearing one. Why would you..." The young soldier glanced over at the mysterious woman who was staring at him with begging eyes, looking helpless and trapped. Her looks were unique and intriguing; different and more alluring than any Eldian he'd seen. She was strange to him, but in the end, those two were Eldian just as the Honorary Marleyan, Colt Grice.
Colt sighed. They snuck out of the walls and must've gotten attacked by Marleyans. The torment of his own 'devil-race' was a normal occurrence, but nevertheless weighed heavy on Colt who was suddenly pulled to compassion. "...Never mind. I'll get you in. Hurry." He led them to a military car, lowering the lantern onto the dirt floor. Mikasa hesitantly reached at his raised hand to get off of the horse, and the man helped carry a weak Levi off and into the automobile before tying the steed to a nearby wooden fence.
Colt closed the door and circled around the car to the driver's seat. Levi quietly spoke out to Mikasa for the first time in what felt like too long. "Mikasa, this is a bad idea."
"We don't have a choice. I'm not letting you die here."
The door closed as Colt hastily entered the driving seat and started the engine. Colt glanced into the rear view mirror at Mikasa, blinking at her again for a moment before they drove away. Levi caught a glimpse of the blushing man staring at Mikasa, to which Levi rested his head on her shoulder and stared daggers into the mirror. Colt readjusted in his seat and looked forward again.
The drive was much smoother than the hours of being horseback. Levi found it a bit calming, but it couldn't erase any amount of pain or worry about entering a high-security zone. Mikasa still remained restless; the thought of Levi growing weaker and weaker in her care was mentally crippling.
Colt spoke up again as he turned the wheel to a gravel path leading to the Internment entrance. "What are your names?"
Mikasa panicked, but revealed none of it. "...I'm Mia. He's Ben."
"I've never seen you around, Ben and Mia. Where are you from?"
"We're... Eldian refugees. We just came here recently," she managed to piece together something mid-sentence, "The armbands and rules are new to us." She paused and felt quiet for a moment. "...We just wanted to see outside of those walls. We didn't know they'd make us an enemy and try to kill us."
There was honest truth in the words rolling from her tongue now. In Levi's poor attempt to rest, he listened and something stung in him. It was a sentiment neither Paradis soldier had gotten to communicate: the painful, pressing truth of the outside world wanting to annihilate their people on the basis of their ancestry.
"Just for being Eldian, right?" The car picked up speed and Mikasa noted the fury in the way Colt gripped the steering wheel harder. A bitter chuckle escaped the driver's mouth. "All we can really do is keep playing by the rules here to stay alive." He sighed. "The Eldians who seek freedom outside the walls are the ones who get hurt the most, after all."
The weight of those words pressed on Mikasa as she glanced down at Levi breathing hard on her shoulder. She stopped to ponder on the pressure Captain Levi must feel every day; that the weight of the fate of Paradis, the legacy of their fallen comrades and the consequences of Eren's choices always seem to fall on him. The decision-making on the battlefield fell upon his shoulders; making the choice of which lives are and aren't worth sacrificing was not something he wanted. It all sounded too damn lonely. The thought of Levi dealing with all that by himself broke her.
He bears all that somehow with grace. And maybe that's how a thug of the Underground rose to become Paradis' protector.
Following a leader like Levi was effortless because of his loyalty to protect and defend his people and comrades; even if perhaps he lacked the eloquence to communicate that. He wasn't known to be nice, yet those in his life knew him to be kind in his own way. She'd never known a single Scout who didn't also desire to willingly follow Levi with their lives. At this point, Mikasa understood this more than anyone: he has proven time and time again he would give his life to the people he puts before himself.
If Eren Jaeger was Paradis' ultimate weapon, then Captain Levi was surely their shield. And a woman like Mikasa Ackerman cared far more about protecting others than of killing enemies across the sea. The Eldians who seek freedom outside the walls are the ones who get hurt the most, after all.
"...The world can be cruel, but also beautiful." Mikasa reached for her captain's hand as she recited her mantra. "Maybe it helps to hold onto hope. Maybe that's all we can do."
Colt blinked into the mirror once more, then smiled. "You remind me a lot of him."
"Him?"
He chuckled. "My brother. Good little guy. A little naive, but he's the only person I've ever known who still stays hopeful that this world can change. I told him it won't help, and that it could get him killed someday," Colt scoffed, "But maybe we need people like that to inspire the weak of us, like... me. The way you say all of that while your husband got shot tells me a lot about you."
"He's not—" She bit her tongue, almost forgetting her place. Colt glanced at her with curiosity.
"We're here."
It wasn't long until Levi's wound was being treated, at last. Their car had miraculously passed right through the security check and into the Internment Zone walls. Mikasa fell silent as Colt explained to the guards their vague situation, rushing them into the hospital. Colt hurriedly carried Levi into the medical center. It seemed he was highly regarded in the walls, as if he had some level of importance and status that Mikasa couldn't quite decipher.
None of that mattered, though.
She hadn't even planned what would come next after Levi's treatment. All Mikasa could think of was the current sight of her captain in the care of a medical team at long last. Mikasa watched in slow-motion as the nurses and doctors peeled off the bandaged red scarf from Levi's body and proceeded to throw it into the trash as they wheeled him away. There was something oddly relieving to have wrapped that scarf around Levi, and something even more freeing about someone else permanently putting it to rest for her.
The nurses had forced a weary Mikasa to take a seat as she tried to follow Levi in. The exhausted woman almost fainted with relief when a nurse finally approached with those words she longed to hear: He will be okay. Still, her heart ached being separate from him once again, even if she knew it meant for his literal well-being.
Mikasa watched as Colt took a seat with her in the lobby. She didn't know much about the man — hell, she didn't even know his name yet — but his kind compassion and willingness to help reminded her much of Armin's. He smiled and continued to bring something from his pockets, leaning close to her ear in a whisper. "You're going to need these if you're going back to your homeland." He reached forward and placed something in her hands: two red armbands with a star.
"...Why are you helping us?"
"Like I said, maybe we need more people like you to keep hoping for our world to change." Colt turned to her again, looking into her eyes. "I don't know why you're here or what you're planning. But I can tell you mean well. That you just want to go back to normal life, even if it means risking it." His eyes softened as he realized he would do the same for his own family in a heartbeat. He stared at his hands. "I just have this feeling... that someday I'll have to decide to choose between my brother's safety and my own life. My duty's to my loved ones first before this damn war."
Colt glanced at the patches in her hands once more. "I hope that helps you get back home." He cleared his throat and stood from his seat, adjusting the collar of his military jacket. "But if you end up stuck here, and if my instincts are right that the guy isn't your husband, then maybe you owe me a date, Mia."
Mikasa blushed in shock as she shyly gripped the fabric of her trousers, wishing Levi was with her at that moment.
"My name is Colt, by the way. Don't mean to pull this card, but..." the soldier nervously rubbed the back of his neck and laughed, "I'm kind of the next in line for the Armored Titan—"
Mikasa abruptly stood from her seat with widened eyes. She couldn't look at Colt as he tilted his head, confused at her reaction. The sudden realization that he was a Marleyan Warrior made her very much aware of where they were, and the proximity to Reiner or the Beast Titan dawned on her. To Colt, it looked like she had seen a ghost.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, Mia."
"No, no, that's not—" She stuttered, frantically glancing around their surroundings. The pieces started to fall in place. This was the Internment military hospital. Mikasa needed to hide now. "I just need you to not tell anyone about our meeting. I... don't want my mother to find out I'm running away with him."
"Ah," Colt was bewildered and embarrassed at the subtle rejection, but understood. "Well then, you'll probably be here for awhile," he glanced around, "If you happen to meet my brother's friend while he's here, tell him Falco says hi. What was his name...?" He began mumbling to himself.
Mikasa had already begun to pick up her jacket to check on Levi's status and get away from the public lobby. The thought of Reiner haunted her mind. And as she turned to thank Colt once more, his brother's friend's name dawned on him again.
"Kruger, was it?"
Mikasa froze.
"...Yeah, Kruger, I think. Falco said he'd met him a couple weeks ago. He should still be admitted here for his injuries."
Mikasa's heart pounded. "...I'll be sure to deliver a hello if we meet him here. Thank you for everything, Colt."
She watched as he waved a friendly goodbye and exited the lobby.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Chapter 10! Ahh! This feels like a milestone because Chapter 1 of this story was meant to be a one-shot. Thank you for following along and being here for Ch10!
This one took awhile for me to piece together, (to be quite honest, BTS had their album comeback and FESTA celebration all week LOL I was heavily distracted) but I wanted to weave together a chapter revolving around Mikasa's sacrifice for Levi; almost as a repayment for how he sacrificed himself to save her in the previous chapter. Mikasa could have left him behind and assumed he'd die. But she chose to give up her easy exit back home to Paradis if it meant giving Levi another chance to live.
Now, they are right smack in the middle of the high-security Internment Zone, and they haven't formed a single plan on how to get back out.
A few favorite things that happened here: Levi almost asking Mikasa out on a future date 😭 Mikasa giving up anything and everything if it means Levi could be safe. And flirty Colt. This goes out to the 0.01% of AoT fans who are Coltkasa shippers 😂
I actually really love Colt's character in the series. Everything he does is out of love and sacrifice for his brother and loved ones and comrades. If you know where his story arc leads him, you'll know that his words here are important — his feeling that someday he'll have to make a sacrifice.
Colt meets a "Ben and Mia" who inspires him to hold onto hope for change, and who also inspires him to sacrifice for loved ones.
My headcanon now is that Colt tells his brother Falco about this mysterious "Ben and Mia" he had met at this time — and it's how Falco thinks of the names "Ben and Mia" when he and Gabi are stuck in Paradis!
Finally, Kruger is in the same hospital as Levi and Mikasa. Will the finally meet Eren again?
Thank you again and again for reading! I'm so excited to have shared this with you! Let me know your thoughts! Responding to your comments is my favorite part of my day!
P.S. Did you catch the After the War references between Levi and Mikasa? :') If you haven't read that Rivamika fic, it is a fantastic one! Hugs to you, Loneackerman!