Author's Note: I do not own Harry Potter
James. He looked too much like James. He would never truly admit it, but he had been stunned the first time he had seen him for what seemed like oh so long ago. His personality was so much like Lily's and yet… not. Not when Harry was writhing with that thing above him, mashing and grinding his soul at the seams.
There were too many memories in this place – the good and the bad, it seemed. Every night he had become plagued by nightmares of his cowardice and self-loathing erupting into cold sweats and panicked gasps of air.
"Traitor!" would the voices cry out to him, ever louder and more hateful with each passing night. They mocked and goaded him so much so that the dark part of himself that he had locked away was becoming more tangible.
"Harry, I know you still struggle with the Patronus, and try not to be so disheartened by your progress. A happy, genuinely happy, memory for one such as yourself… you are a wizard, not some dryad or fae."
The look of despair upon James' face mimicked the haunts of the unwaking world. The moans that he could have done more, should have done more… each utterance was like a knife to his heart. Yet Harry was almost as if a ray of light in the shadowy world. There was a lack of darkness in his day when the boy was involved, as though his innocence and essence permeated around him, afflicting others with who he was. Around the boy, the inner, feral part, of his being was calmed, restrained.
"Look after him, Moony. He's part of your pack now…" Those words surrounded his mind. They were the last that James ever said to him before that night – the night that changed everything in his world inside out and upside down.
The days he spent around the boy he could see a damaged, hurt child, who's peers are either extremely supportive or extremely antagonistic against him; that Malfoy boy was one of the worst contenders for 'school bully' he had ever seen. The whispers of hurtful comments that seemed to slide straight off Harry's back and into the aether were commonplace and disgusting, with the blonde's support from his Head of House fuelling the boy's confidence in his speech.
That was the other problem. Snape.
Remus had always tried to remain neutral; he only supported the Order in the last war due to his admiration and debt towards Dumbledore, and his deep friendship with James and Lily. But Severus… he was more than a bully than from back then, and now he just seemed to be a petty little man who believes himself greater than he is. 'The way he treats the boy… no wonder he finds it difficult to muster up the joy in his soul. McGonagall says he has gotten better, but I hate to think how Snape was these last two years with him.'
"Maybe we will leave it for tonight. The spell is quite draining, and not just magically." Lupin brought out a large chunk of chocolate, splitting it in half between himself and Harry, who took it with a kind smile and a nod of thanks.
As Remus watched Harry munch away in contentment, Remus unconsciously clenched his fists around his own chocolate piece. 'I wasn't there before, Harry, and I am so, so sorry. I do not know if my apology would even be accepted, but… was I wallowing in my own misery? My own self-loathing? If my guilt can be assuaged by doing something as simple as teach you to defend yourself, then I will devote everything I have to aid you.'
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He heard the boy before he saw him.
The air was cool on his skin as the breeze blew gently across his face, warmth encompassing him as he smiled alongside the two bodies of his best friends.
They had wanted to enjoy the last fading light beside the Black Lake, and Harry had a bag of cooked meats resting in his arms. The great black dog had become a near permanent attraction to the trio as it bounded across the fields, and Neville and Fay would join Harry often to bring food to it.
The air brought with it more than just its low temperature, as the voice of their housemate drifted along with it through the corridors, passing by the entrance hall and into the courtyard before the main gates.
"…survives one dark lord and what? Gets everything he ever..."
Fay looked sharply to her left at her best friend. Only the slight furrowing of his brow was evidence enough that he had heard what was being said.
"Ronald, just leave it…"
The sounds were getting clearer as the three came out of the castle and into the courtyard. Their steps were unhurried, and Harry's pace did not change.
"…I do not understand why you shout at Ginevra like tha…"
"Shut up Loony! No one asked you!"
"Don't shout at her you disgusting lard!"
"C'mon Hermione! He is nothing more than a glory hound! Money! Girls! Fame! How is that fair? How is it fair that he thinks he's better than us? It's like everyone's gone mad! He's…"
He stopped suddenly as a tiny frame walked through the obstruction. Ginny and Luna gave small waves at him, and Harry reciprocated with a tiny smile.
"Hello, Harry Potter," came the dreamy words of Luna Lovegood, blissfully unaware of the awkwardness that the trio had stumbled upon.
"Hey, Harry." Ginny blushed up a storm, but Harry was glad she was comfortable enough around him now to initiate a conversation. As opposed to how it had been before at least.
Hermione's lips twitched slightly as her face darkened. It was not a hostile look, but a look of someone who had just been caught in an unsavoury position and was not relishing in the cringe of it all.
Harry, Fay, and Neville all nodded politely, saying the stereotypical pleasantries as they walked to their destination of the school grounds. All three pointedly ignored the red-faced redhead who seemed fit to blow.
The silence was almost touchable as they moved beyond the open portcullis and into the rolling green hills. A startled, single, yelp erupted from behind them, as Fay turned her head behind her to lock eyes with a glowering Ginny Weasley. Both gave almost imperceptible nods to each other as both their wands slipped back into their robes, Ron Weasley none the wiser as his hair changed consistency to that of slime while is concurrently began to vomit slugs over his school robes.
Harry heard a sharp 'tsk' come from Hermione behind him but decided that he did not really care what was going on behind him. He had a dog to feed and play with. Hagrid had said that he could also come help him with the Hippogriffs a bit later on and was too busy looking forward to it to ponder on things he had heard a thousand times before.
"Come on Luna, let's get your homework finished."
"Okay, Hermione. And remember that you promised me something," came Luna's giggling response.
"Yes, yes, I remember. We can go get pudding from the kitchens too."
Harry's smile would only grow as the three of them meandered their way across the green grass, forgoing the given pathway for a sense of difference in their journey.
"The dog's gotta be around here somewhere?" Fay mused.
Neville shook his head with a grin. "Well, the moment he smells the whole of the kitchen I'm sure he'll come running."
"Here doggy, doggy," Harry called out, smiling wide when his new four-legged friend came bounding out of the Forbidden Forest, tongue lolling merrily.
It sniffed nosily around in a circle, moving between the three of them, a joyful bark coming out as Neville fell with a yelp. The dog seemed to emit a humanlike grin as it kept making happy noises.
"Harry stop laughing at me dammit!"
"I'm sorry, Nev," Harry said between chuckles. He placed the food down as he stretched out an arm, still chuckling as Neville let out an audible sigh as he grasped his hand and lifted himself up.
Harry turned back around to witness Fay start to dish out the food, which was almost ripped out of her hands by the ravenous canine. "Bad dog!" she shouted, but with no malice in her voice.
The now quartet leaned against the trees adorning the edges of the forest, the great dog munching away happily. Harry sat content, eyes shut to the world, only opening them to gaze at the feasting animal before him.
Neville and Fay talked with hushed whispers, staring with wonder at how calm their best friend was being after the small incident with the youngest male Weasley in the courtyard.
"He's changing, Nev. Not badly… I dunno how to explain it."
Neville shook slightly, his face scrunched up in thought. "I know what you mean. It's like he's changed without us even realising it. Do you think it has something to do with the dog? He seems so calm now."
Fay nodded in agreement. "I'm not complaining. He's still our Harry. I just would have thought…"
"I can hear you; you know?"
His two friends bowed their heads as their cheeks flushed red. He was absently stroking the dog's mane as it rested its head upon his lap. A dark eye was trained upon them, as if judging their worth.
"Sorry mate."
"I'm sorry, Harry."
"It's fine," he sighed. "It's fine."
And it was.
They sat there until the sun waned and the stars began to shine in the sky. The brief moment of awkwardness dissipating as Harry continued as if nothing had happened. He knew they were right, and if he had not of let them into his life, his heart, then maybe his reaction would have been different. But there by those trees, the three of them together with his new friend beside him, he felt different. As different as everyone was seeing him.
He still had nightmares of his night in the Chamber, but the moans of Quirrell's death throes had become almost numb. Each event that occurred in his bizarre life forged ahead a path that has changed him. And now he was beginning to see it for himself.
He was finding that he had worth.
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A week later it flew around him.
It sped across the classroom, an awed Professor Lupin standing jaw agape as Harry giggled with delight, while Filius Flitwick danced on the spot in joy.
"Oh Harry, I'm so pleased for you! Such a marvellous display!"
"Harry, you…" Lupin could only whisper. His features turned proud as Harry's arm twisted and turned along with the small creature, guiding its flight as its magic radiated through him.
The small bird, for that was what it could only be, settled upon Harry's right arm. Usually if pressure were to be placed upon it, Harry would cringe as the pain flared up within his scar. Yet with the purity of the Patronus, he could only feel peace.
"What is it?" questioned Harry as he could only stare in admiration. "I know you're a bird, but what kind are you?"
"It's small, like you. Fits well I suppose," Lupin quipped. He took stock of who he was with and coughed in slight embarrassment, but only received a laugh in return.
"You mock me by my size, Remus?" questioned a bemused Flitwick.
"Not at all, I'm…"
"Or, indeed, Harry's? Small I may be, but remember, you are speaking to a world champion of the duelling circuit. I may not have the power of Albus, but even he frets with the thought of entering the Duelling Circle with me." His hands spread as wide as they could, and sharp teeth glinted in the candlelight as sweat began to creep on Remus' brow. "And let us not forget our student here either. Size matters not. Judge not based on how someone looks or has no control of, Remus. You should know better."
"I…"
"Or whatever."
Remus bowed his head. He had been pranked. 'I think I felt my bladder begin to burst there. He did not even release any magic. No aura of anything. That felt like I was back in school again.' He looked over at the two others in the room talking merrily. 'James. Lily. You would be proud of your son.'
Flitwick sneaked a look in his direction, a sly wink shooting over as something he said allowed a childish giggle to escape Harry's lips.
"Professor Lupin, what do you think?" Harry asked.
"Think what is?"
Flitwick shook his head as he laughed. "The Patronus my dear boy. What else would it be?"
Harry remained still, entranced by the bright avatar resting upon him. "I know it's a bird, but I don't know what kind? Does it matter?"
"Not really, Harry," Flitwick responded kindly. "I believe it to be some kind of jungle bird, but I cannot work it out."
"Hmm," Lupin thought hard on the matter. "A parrot maybe? It has the look."
Harry shook his head as the bird's wings extended and its shine dimmed. It faded away slowly and took off to the South window, fleeing into the night as it vanished back into the aether.
"Come now Harry, lets get you to bed. I know you'd want to be good and rested for the match tomorrow. You may not be playing, but I'm sure the Gryffindor team would be most upset if you fell asleep in the stands."
Harry nodded with a tired smile. The magic had drained him of energy and his bed was calling him.
Harry was escorted back to the Tower by the two teachers. He bid them a fond goodnight as he spoke the Password to the frame and dragged himself through the portrait hole.
He landed in his bed a few minutes later, warm and comforted in his sheets. He turned to his bedside table and pulled along to him the photo album he kept there at all times. It was in almost no time at all that he drifted off to sleep, the book open to reveal a photo of he and Katie standing side by side. The duo in the photo were smiling brightly at the camera as Katie's arm rested upon his shoulder, pulling him to her side. A gentle kiss was placed upon photo Harry's cheek while Harry's hands pulled at each other, his face red and eyes flaring with embarrassment and joy.
The next morning Harry and Katie hugged each other tightly and a kiss struck his cheek once more.
"Wish me luck, Harry."
"You don't need luck, Katie."
Her eyes roamed across his face, as if searching for something. She nodded, it appeared, when she had found what she was looking for.
Harry's gut was doing flips inside him, and something burned in his chest, but he could not understand what it was.
"I hope you'll be cheering for me," she coughed when she looked over his shoulder to see the other Chaser's winking at her. "For us, I mean."
"Of course I will. I might not be playing for the team anymore, but I'll be the one shouting the loudest."
She laughed gaily at his response. "No, you won't Harry. Not physically at least. But I know what you mean." She leaned down once more, her hand tilting his chin up so she could place a lingering kiss upon his cheek again. "Never change, Harry."
He sat next to an exuberant Fay and roaring Seamus while the game played. Each player danced upon their brooms, becoming Lords and Ladies of the air. But Harry only had eyes for one player. She was right in that he did not shout and cheer like the rest, but if his soul could sing, it would be screaming above them all. Each tackle, shot, pass, grab… every movement was witnessed and recorded in his mind.
'Quidditch,' he mused absently, not even focusing on how the larger picture of the game was progressing. 'I don't think it's the game I prefer. Is it flying, maybe? To drift away? To fly away from everything and just be free? I play my own game with my own rules up there.' He craned his neck up, focusing on a cloud that moved to its own tune. 'To not have to bow to anyone.'
Gryffindor won their match against Hufflepuff, 240-200, with Ginny only just managing to miss the Snitch as Cedric Diggory took the final 150 points from under her. She grew very red in the face, however, when the older boy clapped her lightly on the shoulder with a beaming grin on his face, and slowly drifted off to the ground.
Harry ran to the seven of them along with the others of his house, congratulating each of them heartily as he came to them. His face burned once more when Katie placed her lips to his cheek, but in the end, he could not keep the smile from his face.
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Tracey could only shake her head at Harry's actions.
He was staring almost unashamedly at their Arithmancy teacher with all the subtly of a cannon. His eyes ramrod straight as their Professor bounced up and down in the revelry of her proffered subject.
'Really, it's almost hilarious how most boys just seem to turn to mush when in the woman's presence.'
She knew that there was something between the two of them. Maybe not as delicious as the minority of the Hogwarts rumour mill provided, but there was something there.
It was quite comical to see her little friend act like a teenaged boy for once. Instead of acting in the strangeness of his normality, she would get glimpses now and then of Harry being the child he should have been.
Tracey coughed obviously into a closed fist, her elbow digging slightly into Harry's gut. Vector had indeed decided that today was the day to wear a slightly tight shirt to lessons, and now the poor boys were all the worse (better) for it.
If she did not know her friend as she did, she would have put him down as one of the randy majority who would have loved to witness their admittedly attractive teacher perform such actions. Tracey was not into the female form in such a way, but even she could appreciate the natural beauty Vector emanated. Harry, however, she knew, was not completely understanding in his feelings of visual attraction.
As they packed their things away, she could only see the others in the class stare jealously at their teacher and her friend communicating with each other. Tracey packed her things up slowly, Lily had decided that Arithmancy was not her cup of tea, and instead had decided to pick up Divination instead, so she decided to wait for Harry to be finished with.
"I heard about it from Remus! He's a good man, that one is."
Harry appeared to visibly nod along, yet she was too far away from them now so she could not hear the soft tones Harry spoke in.
Whatever he said was enough for a bell-like laugh to reverberate through the room. "Truly a surprise! You act more like Lily every day now." A wistful sigh escaped her. "Lily, James, Remus, Peter… and Sirius. What a group they ended up making. Sometimes I struggle to place that mutt with what's become of him but…" She stopped talking, and Tracey could tell that Harry was confused by his posture. "Never mind that though. Off with you! You have a friend waiting for you and you don't want to spend your time talking with this old woman. Go!"
'Old woman? She's joking, right?'
"Sorry to keep you, Trace."
"Tracey, Potter, it's Tracey, remember?" This argument had been spoken many a time over the last couple of years, but its hostility had lost its meaning.
"I do remember, Trace, but if you think I'm stopping you have another thing coming."
She shook her head, wondering where the shy boy she had once knew had vanished too. "You're lucky I like you, Harry, or id be hexing you so much your eyes would spin."
"Well, I'm glad we're friends then," he responded happily, his eyes wide and lips curved upwards. "Wouldn't want to get on your bad side."
Harry only laughed at her unconvincing mutterings and promises of retribution. "I'm a snake! We eat lions for breakfast!"
"It's a good thing I can talk to snakes then, isn't it?"
Author's Notes:
Yep. Things happened that put me offline for a while and are now as sorted as they possibly could. Writer's block perhaps. I am back but no promises on when updates will happen. Book 3 is a few chapters from ending and then the joy of book 4 will arrive. Prepare for twists and turns galore as everything develops.
Not much in the way of Harry's perspective, I am aware. What do you think of having chapters that have a different point of view involved?
Everything I have written has a general plan for it. I just cannot wait for the butterfly effect to hit as the plot begins to change even more.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed and keep enjoying what I write.
Next Chapter: A Blond Problem