AN/ OG posted September, 10-15, 2020
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"Hey, Killua? You should do a trust exercise with me!"
"Huh?"
Killua looks up from his magazine that lies on the hard wooden floor, his elbow digging into it. His chin rests upon the palm of his hand, the other flippantly turning pages.
He tilts his head back to look at the other boy, eyebrows tugging down in a mixture of confusion and annoyance, sapphire hues stealing a bored glance back at the magazine once in a while.
"I was just thinking..." Gon swings his legs back and forth on the rather large and tall bed, letting his feet hit the cushion of the mattress.
"That I want you to know you can trust me!"
Killua peels his elbow away from the floor, red painting over porcelain skin in a blotchy spot.
He pushes the rest of his body up off the cold floor, choosing to sit with his legs stretched out, palms resting near his sides.
"Gon, what are you talking about? I already trust you."
What stupid idea did Gon have going around in his head now? Killua only sighs, rolling his shoulders back.
Gon looks thoughtfully up at the ceiling, watching the fan circle around, eyebrows pinching together, and gears turning slowly while he gets dizzy. Before he snaps his head back so fast, Killua is surprised he doesn't break it.
"I don't think that's true. I don't think you trust me completely."
"Gon."
A warning tone. Killua doesn't like where this is going, this conversation, this situation is starting to make his skin itch, and if Gon wasn't staring at him with those big honey gold eyes, he would drag his nails across his skin until it marked vermillion over paperwhite.
"But, Killuuuuaaa..."
"Gon, enough."
The jutting out his bottom lip and puppy dog eyes weren't going to work on Killua this time. Killua draws his lips into a thin line, eyes narrowing, and he stands up with more force than needed, bare feet padding across the floor, leaving his magazine abandoned on the floor.
He doesn't stop at any of Gon's calls of his name, or apologies.
It's not like Gon had anything to apologize for anyway.
He grabs at the door handle with much less force than early, almost solemnly, biting down into the flesh of the inside of his mouth; he opens it, quickly closing it. It's not like he could get far anywhere without Gon catching up, so he chooses to simply sit outside the door on the side.
He buries his fingers into his pure white locks, tugging absentmindedly at his hair, but enough that he could feel the painful tug of it. It was a way to inflict pain; maybe it would help swallow some of the guilt. He deserves some pain as a punishment anyway.
Gon really hadn't done anything to need to apologize... he was just being a big baby... like Milluki always said.
Gon just kept throwing around that word like it was something so simple and easy, though.
But it wasn't for Killua. He didn't trust anyone easily. It had been instilled in him.
He did trust Gon; in a way, it was just...
The door swings open and almost hits him in the face. Still, his assassin training alone helps him maneuver away in a second, preventing in making his forehead as red as his elbow had been earlier.
His fingers are still entangled in his hair as he stares at Gon in a mix of shock, anger, and mostly just shock, eyebrows shot up and mouth agape.
"You idiot! You almost hit me!"
"Ah! Killua!"
Gon turns to look at him, face lighting up like a shooting star.
What did he mean by 'Ah! Killua!' Did he seriously think he had gone that far? He almost had his face smashed by a door! Why didn't this door have a stopper anyway?!
Unless Gon's pure strength had broken it...
That was a very high possibility...
Too high of one.
Great. They'd have to use Gon's Hunter License to pay for any of the damages.
Gon's sunny disposition quickly disappears, and he gently reaches out, taking hold of Killua's hands.
"G-Gon?"
He splutters the word out, the tips of his ears burning red, making it all the way down to his cheeks.
"You shouldn't do that."
Huh?
Oh. Right. He had forgotten...
Gon tugs his hands away like he's a glass doll that can easily break and places them at his side.
"Gon, I'm-"
"It's okay, Killua. I shouldn't have pushed it."
But that's the thing, Gon. You didn't even really push it...
He just got uncomfortable... and guilt sinks into the pit of his stomach, eyes shinning with grief.
"No, I'm- I'm sorry..." It's not anyone's fault he's so messed up that even hearing the word trust makes his mind screech.
"I'll- I'll do it." It doesn't really matter if he's uncomfortable with it; he just wants to make Gon happy.
He purposely looks away, finding a little dust bunny in the corner of the hallway very interesting all of a sudden.
"Killua."
He flinches but refuses to meet Gon's gaze.
"Do you really trust me?"
Killua sucks in a shaky breath, biting down into the same flesh of the inside of his mouth earlier, figuring the pain would be some pathetic distraction, as his heart races, and his chest feels tight with anxiety.
"Y-yes."
He manages to croak out and curses inwardly at how his voice had betrayed him.
"Then you should close your eyes."
His heart jumps up in his throat, and his hands feel oddly clammy, and his shoulders tremble with minute tremors, and he grabs at his shorts, fear encircling in his mind.
Calm down. It's just Gon. He wouldn't do anything.
His long eyelashes flutter shut over his eyes, and he waits. And waits. And nothing happens.
And then Gon's voice rings out in his ears.
"Okay, you can open them now!"
Killua slowly blinks, once, twice, looking around; nothing looked different...
"What was that?"
"Nothing! I figured out I shouldn't rush you! So we can do it one step at a time!"
Killua stares, and stares, and some part of him wants to flick Gon's forehead, the other wants to laugh, and the other, other, wants to call him stupid, but instead, his mind goes blank, and his cheeks flush crimson, and he looks at him in disbelief, before turning around in a huff.
"I'm going back inside!"
Killua grabs the edge of the door and heads back in, only to slam the door shut.
And then the door falls off its hinges. Leaving a very easy walkway for Gon to get back into their room.
Gon blinks, laughing while rubbing at the back of his neck. Killua really was dishonest... he could tell, though, how happy it had made him by the sparkle in his eyes. Yep! He should keep this up!