Chapter: 35

March, 1867

The season changes and spring came. Kyoto was filled with the cherry blossoms, and the whole city took on a festive atmosphere. Surrounding by the gentle cheer of spring, my footsteps felt somehow lighter.

Okita watched me prance with a crooked smile. "You don't need to hurry. We aren't going anywhere in particular. Just think of it as a nice relaxing walk.

"Oh, sorry. I'll be careful."

Nearby, I noticed a few ronin who slunk off into the side streets at the first glimpse of the Shinsengumi. They look suspicious. Why run away unless they knew they were guilty of something. I stared at them intently before Okita gave a bark of laughter.

"Don't waste your energy on them. They're just small potatoes."

"Really?"

"If they were Choshu guys, then they wouldn't just run off like that. They'd be more confident. The guys who just take off like that when we show up are almost always just small time punks.

"Ah... I see."

"They're probably guilty of something; maybe some minor crime. But the blues scare off a lot of people these days."

"The uniform has gotten pretty famous now, hasn't it.

"Well, could be infamous, depending on who you ask."

It was true: The Sinsengumi blues brought recognition, but it was also a double edged sword. Sometimes they commanded obedience or respect, but sometimes the response was less pleasant. Their uniform had become a symbol. It was a symbol that would last throughout history.

"Oh, is Itou back from the Imperial territories, yet?"

"Yeah, I think so. Can't say I would mind if he'd just stay out there, though."

"He went to recruit some of his friends and acquaintances, right?"

"That's what he says, but I gotta wonder how far he really went, you know?"

"How far? What do you mean?"

Okita stopped and gazed off into space for a moment. When he spoke, it was to himself.

"Kondou's too nice. He should just kill Itou."

I couldn't respond. I already knew that Itou would not live till old age, but for Souji to talk about killing someone with ease made me sad. Ever since he had first arrived, Okita and the rest of the captains had never seemed to like Itou much. I glanced around to make sure no one had seen-

"What?"

There, in the crowd, was a face I had seen before. Kaoru?! But no sooner had I spotted her than she disappeared, melting into the crowd.

"Kaoru!"

"Hey!"

Okita made a reach for my arm, but I had already moved out of his reach. I might get in trouble for this, but if I didn't go quickly, I'd lose her.

"Sorry Okita! There's something I have to do!"

I caught a glimpse of his confused face as I ducked into the crowd.

"This is the first time she ran off without permission...Why is she turning into Chizuru? Why can't she look at this from my point of view?"

I ran through the crowd as fast as I could, bobbing and weaving around citizens going about their business, until at last I caught up to her. She was Kaoru, no mistake.

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"Um, Kaoru? Do you remember me?"

"Yes, you were with the Shinsengumi and that boy who resembled me. I remember you."

She looked surprised.

"You ran after me so suddenly. It scared me."

"I'm sorry about that, but there's something I wanted to ask you."

"One of the Shinsengumi saw a girl who looked like Chizuru at the Sanjo Ohashi bridge awhile ago. Could that have been...you?"

"I don't know. I go by Sanjo Ohashi fairly often. Is that a problem?"

She laughed politely.

"Did you want to ask if I'd even been there at night?"

Could it be? Could Kaoru be the girl who interrupted the Shinsengumi that night?

"If it was an autumn night, and you got in the Shinsengumi's way..."

"Then you and I are gonna need to have a little talk. I don't want to give away all the details, but it ends with your death."

"Okita!" I hadn't realized he caught up with me so quickly.

"Oh, you're Okita, from the Shinsengumi. Thank you for helping me the other day."

She bowed but Okita didn't seem to notice. "So, you gonna answer the question? Were you there that night?"

Okita wore the same half smile he always did, but his body was as tight as a bow string, ready to have his blade in hand at a moment's notice.

"My death? Please, don't say scary things like that. Lots of people pass by Sanjo Ohashi during the day. At night, though. I don't go near it, because of the notice board stuff. I can't believe you suspect me just because my face happens to look like someone else's. I don't know anything..."

Where are modern crime investigation methods when you need it?

"Can I go now...? Excuse me."

She turned and ducked away, disappearing into the crowd.

"*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*"

"Okita! A-Are you okay?!"

He was bent nearly double, and coughing uncontrollably, his entire body shaking with each cough. I wanted to cry and I could feel the tears starting to well in my eyes.

"Okita?!"

"Stay back!"

As I stepped closer to him, he threw out his hand and twisted his face upward to glare at me.

"How can I stay back!"

"*Cough* *Cough* I'm...I'm fine. So just...stay there, okay? *Cough* *Cough* *Cough*"

It was the sheer force of his personality that stopped me, not his words.

"*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*"

After awhile, his coughing slowed, then subsided entirely.

"Okita...do you feel better?"

"I have always felt fine."

When he turned back to look at me this time, his sardonic half smile was back. He looked every part the usual Okita, except that his face had grown frighteningly pale.

"I mean... Why don't we find somewhere to rest? You looked like you were in a lot of pain..."

"Oh, I was just tired. I mean, you did make me run all the way here."

"But..."

"No buts. I'm fine. Now..."

His expression became hard.

"About the girl. Asking her about the thing with the notice board was important. I agree with you. But even, no, because of how important that is, you shouldn't have run off on your own like that. What if she had been an enemy of ours. Could you have handled her?"

He was right. I was reckless and did not think of the consequences. If she was an enemy then I would be in deep trouble.

"Did you even consider that possibility? That she planned to lure you here? It's a great spot for an ambush, you know."

"You're right."

"You need to be more careful, alright? I can take care of you, but without me around you're just a useless kid."

"...Sorry." I am pretty useless aren't I.

"...Alright, lecture's over."

I am useless...

"You should start relying on us when you need to. I've gotten used saving your ass at this point. A couple more times isn't going to mean much."

He let out a snort of laughter but I on the other hand could not follow. The words, "You're just a useless kid." stabbed me in the chest like a knife and I felt horrible.

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