Disclaimer: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto, not me. However, Kosu and Hiro are mine. Warning, possible themes of a dark, violent or suggestive nature and use of mature language as the story progresses… They're ninja after all.

Chapter 16

Words left unsaid

Blissful silence filled the library in the early hours of the morning. Kosu had once again settled into her familiar reclusive corner. Open tomes and scattered books covered the desk before her as she sat with her legs pulled up onto the chair. Her gaze scanned over the texts with a critical eye and occasionally she'd make note of a configuration aspect or proposed theory in her notebook. In her free hand she clutched the first of Mito's journals close to her chest. The cracked leather was soft against her fingers and the dusty scent of old paper filled her nose.

Kosu ran her ink stained fingers through her hair and furrowed her brow. The feeling of the seal from the Anbu had plagued her since she'd left the training ground. The was no doubting it had been fūinjutsu of some kind, but with only a blurry imprint of what it meant, Kosu had to make a lot of assumptions. She'd made several potential versions of what the configuration may be, but none felt right. More than ever she wished for Mito and the chance to talk the puzzle through with her sensei. The closest she could get to Mito was through her journals. They helped, but the mystery remained.

"Congratulations."

Kosu looked up from her notes as Minato walked towards her quiet corner. His kind blue eyes dropped to the Konoha forehead protector that sat around her neck. She gently closed Mito's journal and couldn't help but trace her fingers over the cold metal around her neck. The dips and groves of the Konoha symbol grazed against the pads of her fingers.

"It seems like sensei's leave us with more questions than answers huh?" he motions to the mountain of notes around her. Kosu tilted her head to the side in silent question. "Jiraiya-sensei has a strong case of wanderlust and is gone more than he's here." Minato answered. Jiraiya, as in the sanin Jiraiya? "It left me with a lot to figure out on my own or find help from those around me. Kushina and I… there aren't many fūinjutsu specialists around anymore. If you ever need advice, or to borrow our books. You're welcome."

Kosu opened her mouth, the rebuttal almost coming as an instinctual barb fired from the tip of her tongue. Only it was Minato. Soft eyed, kind hearted Minato who found her after Mito's death. And Kushina, the only living Uzumaki and sole other student of Mito. If anyone could help her decipher her sensei's notes it would be her.

She closed her mouth and smiled weakly up at Minato. Her white knuckles fingers, clawed around the edges of Mito's journals relaxed.

"Hungry?" He asked, motioning with his head towards the exit. Kosu nodded and stood from the dark brown desk.

Minato looked away for only a moment to survey the room and as he turned back to Kosu his eyes widened. The array of papers and books had vanished and the young girl with no bag in hand stood before him.

"You're buying." She stated and made for the door. He glanced over the table once more, intrigue itched at the recess of his mind.

"Kushina's cooking actually." He said, as he caught up to her and they entered out onto the streets of Konoha. "It's much better."

Minato was a well-liked, ridiculously so, Kosu glanced up at his back. Every villager they passed, every vendor, every shopper, fucking hell even every stray cat peered up at him with gleaming eyes and bright smiles. The man's radiant.

They cut through an alley lined in gorgeous climbing vines and pink flowers, broken by a glossy black gate. It didn't squeak like the half unhinged death trap that opened to the back flats attached to the orphanage. Beyond the gate lay a shared dapple court with four pastel doors leading from it.

"After you." Minato opened the pale blue door and a draft of warm, faintly spiced air greeted her.

"Minato?" Kushina's voice called from within the airily decorated home. Minato hummed back a greeting as he closed the door. "Get Jiraiya to clear his papers from the table and set it already." Minato smile and raised his eyebrows in a half efforted apology before entering the last door on the right. His voice greeted another, followed by booming laughter from the sannin.

Kosu managed two steps before Kushina passed across the door way at the end of the hall. A pale yellow apron sat neatly tied around her front. She stopped still, shoulders angled towards Kosu.

"You!" She brandished a wooden spoon towards Kosu. Wide eyed, Kosu dropped her stance and sealed the gloves from her hands. "You little shit!"

The spoon flew like a missile towards Kosu aimed for her eye, only to be snatched from the air by Kosu's pale hand and snapped from their plane of existence.

"You dare show your face!" A barrage of crockery streamed down the hall zeroed onto Kosu. "You disrespectful, selfish, manipulative little bastard." Kosu's glower darkened as she steps forwards. Her steps calm compared to the rapid graceful sail of her arms as they snatched and sealed the projectiles away.

"Kushina!" Minato burst into the hall. His lightening fast reflexes snatched a skillet from the air. He stepped into the hall, body half covering Kosu from the bull tempered woman at the end of the hall. Kushina - fists clenched at her side, chest heaving, even her hair seemed to stand on end with a rage of static energy.

"Ah the deerstalker." A large grin split Jiraiya's face as he poked his head from behind the door.

"Get her out of here." Kushina glowered.

"Kushina." Minato tilted his head.

Yeah, Minato – I'm so welcome. Kosu lowered her hands and stepped carefully passed Minato and squared her shoulders to Kushina.

"You better be here to grovel." Kushina warned.

"Grovel for what?" Kosu frowned. Kushina yelled and marched forwards. Glaring down at Kosu she snatched the slack around the neck of her high collar top and ragged her upwards.

"Brat." Kushina hissed. "Did she mean nothing to you? Were you playing her for her fūinjutsu the entire time?"

"… Mito-sensei…"

"Who the hell else!" Kushina rattled her in her clenched fists. "You didn't show to her memorial. She wasn't even worth that to you."

Kosu turned rigid in Kushina's grasp, muscles pulled tort like steel. Her eyes darkened as she glowered up at the red head.

"She meant everything to me."

"Kushina." Minato tried again, only to be ignored by both women. Jiraiya placed a cautionary hand on his students' shoulder. It was not the time to be getting between those two women.

"Then. Why. Weren't. You. There?"

"For the same reason you were." Kosu ground through gritted teeth. Her answer sparked a flash of rage, dancing like a fiery fox in the depths of Kushina's eyes. "We're not the same Kushina. So why would you expect me to act like you and everyone else in the village. Mito-sensei never did."

"She would when it comes to honouring the dead." Kushina hissed. "You naïve-"

"Do you really believe me naïve to death and mourning? That there is a lack of corpses left behind me?" Kosu's questions chilled the air in the room by several degrees. Icy rage licked at the corner of Kosu's mind and wretched free the normal iron clad trap that held her past behind her. Kushina's grip slackened ever so slightly. "Hiro and I lost everyone. We survived by hiding at the bottom of a pile of friend's and family's corpses. And when the chance to run came, we didn't stop. What good were burials then? What good was laying flowers by monuments? I still mourned them. Still honoured them."

Kushina dropped Kosu to the ground, her mouth agape and eyes wide as she scanned her gaze over the ashen haired child in front of her.

As silence spanned longer, the frost bitten rage that has consumed Kosu thawed. She ran her tongue slowly over her chapped lips and dropped her gaze from Kushina.

"I shouldn't have come here." Kosu said by way of apology to Minato and by extension Kushina. She turned for the door only to have warm hand clamp her shoulder and pull her backwards.

"Shut up brat." Kushina pulled Kosu into a tight hug, her body pulled right against the soft cotton apron. Like a wide eyed pillar of ice Kosu could only blink and accept the tight wrap of affection being draped across her. Something gentle and soothing stirred deep in the pit of her stomach.

"You're not going anywhere." Kushina pulled away and knocked Kosu gently on her jaw with her knuckles. "Come on." She hooked an arm around her and stirred her back to the kitchen. "Your mess better be gone when we come back in Jiraiya." She called over her shoulder.

The kitchen boasted the source of the rich herby scent that filled the apartment. Bowls of rice, steamed vegetables, and glistening katsu chicken sat plated in white bowels lined with a thin painted strip of painted vines.

"Errr," Kushina scratched the back of her neck. "Can I have my kitchen back please?" pink tinged her cheeks as she cast her gaze around for any chopsticks or cutlery on the barren kitchen counters. Finding her sheepishly smile oddly heart warming Kosu quickly rounded the kitchen counters and unsealed the various cooking implements that had been hurtled at her only moments ago.

"Thanks, ya know." Kushina grinned. "Grab the vegetables." She ordered as she balanced the chicken and rice along the length of one arm and grabbed the recently unsealed chopsticks with her other hand.

How did Mito-sensei, the ever serene, manage a hot head like her? Kosu raised a brow, head tilted at the red headed woman left the kitchen. She shook her head and with quiet steps, that of a burglar not meant to be there, followed her into the airy dining room. Luscious green plants in standing pots and hanging baskets decorated the edge of the room.

A light wood table stood in the centre of the room already playing host to the three ninja…

Kosu hovered a few paces from the table. Morbidly fascinated with how Kushina and Minato moved around each other setting food and condiments down. More unusual was the white haired sannin who's reputation as one of the most feared shinobi preceded him… and yet he sat, near drooling into his lap at the side of the chicken.

"Wait for the vegetables." Kushina smacked Jiraiya's hand with the serving spoon as he reached towards the chicken. The situation still jarred Kosu as she joined them, taking the spare seat next to Minato as Kushina and Jiraiya sat opposite them.

"Ah, Kosu was it?" Jiraiya grinned at her from across the table.

"I also respond to Brat and Deerstalker apparently." She replied. Jiraiya laughed.

"Blame Inoichi for that one." He shrugged. Kosu opened her mouth, but closed it as a smile crept across her face. That blond ponytailed idiot.

"You've replaced him now right? Teamed with Shikaku and Choza?" Minato continued as they all began eating. Warm ginger and rich coconut milk danced across her taste buds as she tucked into the food before her.

Kosu slowed mid bite as she watched Jiraiya tilt on his chair, neck ever increasingly flexed to the side and his eyes trained on the cuff of her sleeve.

"Yeah." Kosu replied absentmindedly to Minato. She placed her chopsticks down and dropped her arms below the table and onto her lap. Jiraiya raised his gaze and lacked the decency to apologise or try to excuse his behaviour.

"You're a well-suited team." Minato said.

Kosu tilted her head, eyebrow raised at the sannin directly opposite her. Question?

"I heard an interesting little rumour." Jiraiya said, also abandoning his food. He laced his fingers together and rested his chin on them. "Seemed too ludicrous at first. But I just now wonder if there might be more than a little truth to Inoichi's tall tales."

Kosu held he gaze unwavering.

"You're going to make me ask?" He asked. Jiraiya grinned and laughed at the nerve of the child.

"Jiraiya." Minato tried.

"I know the two of you are curious as well, don't deny it." He dismissed with a wave of his hand. Kosu glanced to Minato and Kushina, each covering their intrigue with varying degrees of success.

Kosu pushed her plate to the side and presented her left arm, sleeve rolled up to revealed the bandaged limb beneath. Slowly she began unwinding the white bandage that snaked up her arm. Pale skin adorned in tiny black kanji circumventing her arm glared up at the three enraptured office.

Minato's fingers hovered above her skin, blue eyes met hers, asking for permission. With an incline of her head his warm finger tips traced a stream of kanji around her forearm and to the Uzumaki swirl on her palm.

"I can see why Old Lady Mito liked you so god damn much." Jiraiya sat back, broad arms crossed over his chest. "Something like this shouldn't be possible."

"Well, my anatomy isn't meant to be compatible with life either." Kosu easily rewrapped her arm.

Jiraiya hummed lowly in agreement as he eyed the young grey haired girl in front of him.

Your anatomy. A cannibalistic process that should have killed you. He thought. She must have an unnaturally strong will to live and physical endurance… Not unlike… The Sannin's gaze turned to Kushina and the Uzumaki clan symbol that hung from a pendant around her neck. Don't be silly Jiraiya. He chastised himself.

"I think I speak for everyone and say we're glad that you're here." Minato smiled. "How are you finding Konoha, have you settled?"

Settled. The word rang like nails screeching on a chalk board.

"It's good for my brother. He has a home here."

"You both do." Kushina declared. "Now can we eat before my hard work goes cold?"

Not having to be told twice, or risk her wrath of not obeying her the four ninja tucked into the meal.

X

Kosu stood, armour plating strapped to her forearms and shins, battle ready and sombre as she looked down at Hiro. Even from her bird like perch she could see the beaming toothy smile that lit up his face as he sat and played some hand clapping mimic game with another child in the orphanage.

The morning dwindled behind her and she finally tore her gaze from Hiro. The harsh stone faces of the three Hokage bore down on her. You better look after him.

She turned and darted, roof top to roof top to meet Shikaku and Choza at the main entrance.

"Want me to carry anything for you?" Kosu raised an eyebrow at the excessively large pack strapped to the back of Choza's back.

"You're getting cheekier every week." Choza clapped her jovially on her back near knocking her forwards and out of the gate.

"Let's get moving already." Shikaku said and sniffed with disinterest. "The mission isn't getting any closer to us."

The trio started their trek.

A cold shiver traced the length of Kosu spine and flowed into a paranoid pit of dread pooling low in her stomach. Leaving the village, leaving him… She shook her head and forced her gaze forwards not back. It's paranoia, nothing more.

X

Evening bathed Konoha on their return and a gentle breeze greeted the trio as they left the deployment building having just lodged the overall outcome of their mission. The wide-eyed faces of the chunin night workers as Kosu unsealed a barns worth of munitions and rations all likely from Iwa would have been amusing if the consequences of finding such a supply weren't so ominous.

Shikaku as lead had taken ownership of providing the official written report but had declared he needed to sleep on it.

"Inoichi." Choza waved in greeting as the blonds walked to meet them.

That is not the face of someone with good news.

All three of them recognised the look immediately.

"I'm glad you're back." Inoichi tried and failed to force a smile through his words.

"… Who?" Shikaku asked.

"… Sakumo Hatake." Inoichi said.

Kakashi. His face filled her mind in an instant and all the vitriol and rage that had been surrounding him vanished. Rather her stomach clenched like a demon claw had it in a vice.

"When was he put back on duty?" Choza asked.

Inoichi shook his head.

"He wasn't. By his own hand."

Shikaku and Choza stood stunned, struck mute, just like Kosu by the news.

Sakumo Hatake's face filled her mind. The last time she saw him. When shoulders were hunched and there were dark circles around his eyes… It seemed so much more significant now. The subtle signs of the tortuous thoughts that had been swarming behind his eyes.

A stinging chill ran down her neck. Faint echos of thoughts she'd once had. Deep in the depths of their first winter, when the end of a kunai had offered relief for her and Hiro from the bone breaking cold and raging starvation.

"I was going to meet Daiki at the bar when I heard you were back." Inoichi motioned with his head down one of the paths that lead to the bar and restaurant strip of Konoha.

"I…" Choza nodded. "A drink sounds good."

"I'll-" Kosu cleared her throat. "I'll do the mission report Shikaku."

The three men looked down, momentarily forgetting the short wraith of a child was with them. Kosu shook her head when the Nara opened his mouth to protest.

"I write what happened, it's not complicated. Go."

Shikaku exhaled slowly and placed a hand on Kosu's feathery hair, ruffling it in thanks. Choza and Inoichi clapped her on the back in thanks and she watched as the three turned and made their way down the street, heads hung low and the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Kakashi.

The claw twisted in Kosu, yanking on her heart and lungs. Kakashi. She couldn't describe it. In fact she could barely consciously process it. All that filled her was the instinct to see him. To just be at his side.

She turned to the quieter residential side of Konoha and made for the Hatake house. He wouldn't be there, but it was a place to start. As expected the dark panelled home was a darkened shell of what it used to be and bathed in gloom. She tracked over the spots she knew he went too until Kushina's words rang through her head about burials and memorials.

From the entrance of the white walled cemetery the lone grey haired boy could be seen in front of the large will of fire monument. The setting sun silhouetted his frame.

A slight shift of his gaze to catch her in his periphery is all that gave away he acknowledged her presence beside him. Beats of silence passed between them.

Kakashi expected Kosu to fill it, some survivalist bullshit like they always spewed. They could join the rest of the village in claiming how much a failure his father way. Only it never came, and he found himself on bated breath.

Why the fuck are you here? He turned to Kosu.

"Didn't think it would be you coming to look for me." Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Kosu.

"Me neither. But I wasn't exactly kind to you either last time we spoke." She replied.

"Well keep whatever you're going to say." He glared at Kosu. "Whatever lecture you have on never giving up, on surviving at all costs - piss off with it."

He snapped his gaze back to the monument and grew increasingly agitated as Kosu remained sentinel at his side.

"Words aren't going to help right now. You know that. I know that." Kosu's gentle voice cut through his growing ire. "And you shouldn't predict what I'm going to say. You're not very good at it."

He turned to her with wide, bloodshot eyes.

Slowly he settled into the silence between the pair.

Darkness fell over the cemetery, the glow only coming from the pale moonlight reflected from the curves of the red flame monument.

Kosu wasn't sure what possessed her, but instinct brought her hand away from her side and sought his. His fingers were chilled against her and whilst Kakashi didn't move to clasp her hand back, he didn't slap her away either. Kosu exhaled and gently took his hand in hers, stepping closer so their shoulders brushed.

Kakashi's fingers curled tighter around Kosu's. The tension threaded down his arm as he fought to hold back the shaking of his body.

"… It's relentless." Kakashi whispered. "I keep thinking I can go home and he'll be there… and then it hits me again, this tidal wave… and I can't leave… I just want a moment. Just… to breathe."

Kosu watched his profile, the dark shadows under his eyes heavy with fatigue. How long have you been here Kakashi… days?

"I'm actually a girl." She offered, hoping the little fact could offer at least a moment of distraction.

He looked to her, brows raised and released a single laugh too drenched in melancholy to be joyous. His metallic eyes roamed over her features. With him turned towards her and the moon bathing his face the harsh lines of fatigue and loneliness darkened the area around his eyes. Even with the mask in place she could see the harsh downward pull of his frown.

Kosu paused for a moment, remembering the tight embrace Kushina had pulled her into only a few days before. It had been awkward and unusual… but the comfort the weight of her limbs and the soft heat from her skin brought had transferred only soothing waves.

She gently tugged his hand, drawing him closer. His eyes narrowed as he glanced the length of her body. Again, he didn't flee or fight as she raised her arm. His eyebrows shot up, eyes widening as her arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him towards her.

He stood, rigid like steel. Then all in a breath, he released a long sign and melted into her. His fingers pulled free from hers and grasped either side of her top instead, anything to draw her closer to him.

Kakashi tucked his head into the crook of Kosu's neck and she brought both arms tight around him. Her fingers splayed up over the nape of his neck and short soft hair tickled the tips of her fingers. He inhaled deeply, shoulders shuddering silently as his damp tears trailed down Kosu's neck.

"You're not alone." She whispered. "We'll leave when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere."

Author's note.

So, not dead. And recently had a want to return to this project and spent some time re-planning the future arcs.

Thank you to everyone and anyone who has read/liked/reviewed/followed this work and especially thank you to anyone who is still here after the world's longest hiatus.