My Brother's Best Friend
A story by Government Patsy
Chapter 7
Mulder POV
"Hi, Dana," I say quietly as we all dig in and gather some food on our plates.
"Hey," she says back, giving me a half smile but not really looking at me properly.
Bill and Tara carry the conversation throughout dinner when they're not stealing kisses and giving each other bedroom eyes. At a particular awkward moment, as Bill gives Tara an extra heated kiss and she leans into it, I look over to Dana to catch her looking at me. We both instantly look back down to our plates as we continue to eat quietly as they continue to kiss through the extremely awkward silence. Her eyes take me by surprise. They're just as deep and soulful as I remember them. I think I've spent hours looking into those ocean blue eyes of hers in the past… but I can't even bear looking there for one second now.
"Hey, do you remember McGregor from high school?" Bill suddenly asks me.
I look up at him in surprise. I haven't followed the conversation for a while now and I wonder how we ended up here.
"McGregor?" I think about it for a little while. "Yeah, I think he was in Melissa's year."
"He was! Apparently he went to Harvard," Bill says and I immediately look over to Dana - she's looking down at her plate, picking at her food, her cheeks flushed. "Him and Dana started dating, can you believe it?"
"You're dating McGregor?" I ask her in disbelief - my heart dropping.
"Yeah," she shrugs. "I didn't know you guys knew him…"
"Of course!" Bill chuckles. "I mean, he was just a little runt back then, but he was always a decent guy!"
"Well, I'm happy for you," I manage to tell her as I watch her fidget with her cutlery. "So, you're in a long distance relationship?"
"No, he…" she shrugs. "He moved back here a few days ago actually."
"He's a journalist," Bill nods. "Works for the Chronicle now."
"Cool," I nod, feeling empty.
We finish up dinner and Bill puts his arms around Tara's waist as I carry the plates and cutlery to the kitchen.
"Hey, would you guys mind cleaning up after dinner since we cooked?" he asks us, smiling away as he slowly moves towards the stairs with a blushing Tara.
"You cooked, Bill?" Dana rolls her eyes at him.
"Hey, I was great moral support - right, babe?" he chuckles, kissing Tara's cheek and neck.
"Oh, the best," she chuckles as well, blushing.
"Thanks, guys!" Bill snickers, walking up the stairs with Tara behind him as he leads her by her hand.
Tara has the courtesy to mouth a "Sorry" to us as she giggles and disappears into Bill's bedroom with him. A few moments later the faint sound of music that's meant to block out whatever they're doing sounds out from the room.
"Wow," Dana shakes her head and sighs as she begins to clean up with me.
"I can manage if you wanna unpack or something," I tell her.
"Oh okay," she nods and our eyes meet again.
I feel the hurt all over again. I feel jealous. This woman is mine - why is she with McGregor?
"So… McGregor?" I ask her through gritted teeth.
"Oh, fuck off!" she scolds me in a whisper. "You ended things with me - get over yourself, Mulder!"
"I don't mind," I lie as I try to shrug it off.
"Right," she rolls her eyes at me. "So you don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me either?"
"I said, I don't mind," I lie again, folding my arms over my chest.
"Why did you agree to this, Mulder?" she asks me exaggerated. "Why couldn't you just say no when Bill asked you?"
"But I… what?" I'm really confused now. "You asked Bill if you could move in… I had no idea why you wanted to be here!"
"I didn't!" she sighs. "Bill asked me to move in and I told him he had to ask you… because I thought you'd just say no!"
"Well, how am I supposed to figure that one out?" I sigh myself and roll my eyes. "I'm not a fucking mindreader… why didn't you just move in with your parents then?"
"I was going to! But I didn't really have an excuse for Bill as to why I'd rather move back in with my dad and all his rules, compared to living here… with you…"
"Oh, right," I scratch my neck, I still don't know how I was supposed to just know that though. "Well, I work a lot so it probably won't be too bad."
"Mulder, we can't even look at each other," she sighs, sitting down by the counter.
"I know," I acknowledge and sit down next to her. "But you're dating someone… so why do you even care about living with me? I mean, you're clearly over me by now."
She looks right at me. And she looks fucking pissed. Her eyes are piercing my soul in a way only she's ever been able to. I can tell that she's furious with me but she's so fucking hot right now. She's breathing deeply, glaring me down. And all I can think about is bending her over the kitchen counter.
"You're such a fucking idiot," she tells me before getting up and leaving through the front door.
x
I expected her to leave after that. I thought I'd wake up the next morning to her moving back home with her parents but she stays. For some reason she doesn't give up. But then again, Dana was always stubborn. I don't know why I ever thought she'd just quit something or give up.
I see McGregor pick her up a few times. He always waits outside - I wonder if she's told him not to come in. She probably doesn't want him to meet me… I wonder if she's told him about us… I mean, she probably has, they seem pretty serious. I think he picks her up from her job at the coffee shop almost every day.
Dana and I avoid each other as much as we can. When we're forced to spend time together alone, we constantly bicker. When we're among other people, we just ignore each other.
It hurts. She's the love of my life. She was my best friend - in some ways more so than even Bill. It hurts not being able to be honest with her. It hurts hurting her like this. But I can't be honest with her. I can't let her see how much it hurts. She can never know why I ended it…
She's been home for a week when Bill's having a small get-together. Him and Tara are shopping when Dana comes home. I'm finishing up on cleaning when she walks in the door.
"Oh, right," she sighs. "Bill's party. That's today."
"Yeah," I nod, throwing myself down on the couch. "I guess you invited McGregor?"
"You know, his name is Ethan," she says annoyed. "Not everyone is so emotionally distant that they use their last name all the time…"
"What the fuck?" I sit up and look at her, squinting. "My first name is Fox!"
"Well," she can't keep a straight face and she lets out a little chuckle, turning away not to give me the satisfaction of making her laugh.
But it's too late. I made her laugh and my heart is swelling with a forgotten but familiar pride.
"And actually, Bill invited Ethan over," she clarifies, sitting down at the dinner table where one of her medical magazines is already open from where she left off.
"Oh?" I athletically jump over the back of the couch and sit down opposite her at the table. "Why didn't you invite him?"
She looks a bit taken back with my boyish display but looks down at her magazine with a shrug.
"It's just awkward," she finally says carefully.
"Does he know?" I wonder out loud. "You know… about us?"
"No," she whispers, gulping… still looking down at her magazine.
"Why haven't you told him?" I ask her. "I thought you two were serious…"
"We are," she nods. "It's just… it never really came up…"
"He never asked about your exes?" I wonder - that's a pretty normal conversation to have early on, I would think.
"I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a virgin," she chuckles before realising what she just said - she looks up in horror, her face flushed.
"Oh," I laugh, I suddenly feel all kinds of happy. "So… you two haven't..?"
"That's none of your business, Mulder," she rolls her eyes at me but I notice the very slight smile she can't quite hide.
"Interesting," I remark, leaning closer towards her over the table. "How long have you been seeing him?"
"It's only been five or six weeks," she says defensively.
"Jesus!" I laugh. "Poor guy."
"Mulder, not everyone jumps straight into bed together, you know?" she tells me.
"Hey, you did with me," I smirk and she's blushing again - a different blush though, a much more cock-stirring one.
Luckily, Bill and Tara come home at that moment - diverting the dangerous direction our conversation was headed in. Soon after the first guests start pouring in. It's quite a casual party but still wilder than Bill intended - which is always the case with Bill's parties. There's a few guys from Bill's work and a ton of people from high school. It's fun catching up with everyone. My fun night stops when Ethan McGregor shows up though. He definitely glowed up since I last saw him. He's still quite small though - although considerably taller than Dana all the same. It sucks that I actually used to like this guy. He was always nice and quite cool. I don't think I ever talked to him for more than a few minutes but I definitely remember his mild manners and joking nature. I watch him kiss her as they greet each other. He tries to deepen the kiss but she pulls back and laughs shyly, taking his hand instead and leading him over to the couch. They sit down next to Bill and Tara and Bill immediately talks to McGregor. I can tell that he's in big brother mode but he also seems warm and inviting… why couldn't he have been like that with me? I'm his best friend… why couldn't he just have accepted me… given me a chance... I take another swig of my beer and talk to the woman who's just approached me. She's a friend of an old friend from high school and I try to focus on what she's talking about but I can't help but constantly look for Dana and keep tabs on what she's doing.
"Dude!" the woman is laughing at me and I look back to her. "What's with you and the redhead?"
"Wh-what?" I stutter, she has my undivided attention now.
"You've been looking at her all night," she chuckles, elbowing my side playfully. "She's pretty."
"Yeah," I sigh. "Sorry about that."
"Hey, don't be," she says nicely. "So… there's history?"
"You could say that," I nod. "I've never told anyone this but… I love her."
"Hey, I'm just a stranger," she shrugs. "I don't know anyone here but Karen and she's busy with the tall blonde guy over there."
I look up and see Karen from high school making out with a guy we use to go to school with as well - the two of them must have been on/off for years now.
"Jesus," I chuckle. "They're still playing that game…"
"Maybe it'll stick this time," the stranger says hopefully. "I think they're meant to be."
"Maybe," I shrug.
"Are you meant to be?" she asks me. "You and the redhead?"
"I used to think so…" I sigh deeply. "But I screwed everything up... and she's with someone else now."
"So?" she's squinting up at me.
"What do you mean?" I wrinkle my brow as I ask her.
"If you really want her… why do you care? Shouldn't you be fighting for her?"
"No," I shake my head. "I want her to be happy. She's happy with him. It could never be that easy with me and her."
"No?" she chuckles. "Well, tell me this. If she's so happy, why does she keep checking you out?"
"What?" I look up and spot Dana looking at me through the room - she quickly averts her attention to her brother and McGregor, the two of them talking and laughing together.
"Did you ever consider the possibility that she'd be happier with you?" she bumps my side with her shoulder as we stand next to each other, leaning back against the wall. "Isn't that worth fighting for?"
"It's too late," I sigh. "I hurt her too much."
"I'll give you a little hint, dude," she says and leans closer towards me to whisper in my ear. "With the way that girl is looking at you… it'll never be too late."
"Yeah?" I start thinking about it.
I analyze the situation. I keep my eyes on her. Every so often she'll look around the room and try not to let her eyes stay on me for too long but she's failing at that. She's keeping an eye on me as well. I notice the way she looks at McGregor. And even though it's torture, I keep my eyes on them as he kisses her. As she kisses him. And it's all wrong. That's not the way Dana used to look at me. That's not the way she used to kiss me. It's not even close. It shouldn't make me happy but it does.
I talk a bit more to the stranger, I never even get her name. When Karen leaves with her highschool boyfriend, she decides to leave as well though and I see her out.
"Hey, stud!" Bill catches my attention as I walk back inside. "Who was your new friend?"
Bill's sitting around the dinner table playing some game with McGregor, Dana and a few other people. He's clearly drunk and he's wiggling his eyebrows like crazy at me.
"She was a friend of Karen's," I say defensively.
"Can you believe this guy?" Bill chuckles, waving me over to join them. "The ladies always did gravitate towards you, didn't they?"
"What?" I chuckle as I sit down next to my very drunk friend. "Wasn't that you, Bill?"
"Dude, it was both of you!" McGregor chimes in. "These two were legends in high school, Dana!"
"Oh, I remember," she meets my eyes for the shortest amount of time.
The party continues into the early hours of the morning. Ethan stays behind and helps Dana and me clean up a little bit as Bill and Tara have wandered off to Bill's bedroom.
Dana sees him out and they share a little kiss in the door. He whispers something in her ear but she shakes her head and he just smiles and nods at her in understanding.
"What did he ask you?" I wonder, leaning back against the kitchen island as she's closed the door behind him.
"What?" she's acting oblivious but I notice the colour in her cheeks.
"Oh," I chuckle in realisation. "He wanted to spend the night?"
"Mulder!" she objects but her pitch gives it away.
"C'mon, Dana…" I say - the small amount of alcohol in my system makes me slightly braver. "Why are you with that guy? You don't love him!"
"Yeah? And how would you know that, Mulder?" she squints at me, her arms folded over her chest.
"I saw the way you were looking at him… that's not how you look when you're in love…" I trail off, suddenly aware that we've both moved towards each other and I'm now standing right in front of her in the middle of the living room.
"How would you even know?" she rolls her eyes at me.
"I remember…" I trail off. "How you used to look at me… how you still look at me…"
"I… I don't…" she says in a whisper, lowering her arms from folded over her chest to hanging by her sides. "I don't look at you like that anymore…"
"No?" I ask her, the fingers on my right hand gracing her fingers, making her shiver. "Are you sure?"
Her eyes are searching mine. She looks confused. And aroused. She's so beautiful. My hands enclose around her much smaller hands, pulling her gently closer towards me.
"Who was that girl you talked to all night?" she asks in a whisper, sounding very unsure of herself.
"I don't know her name… she was just a girl I talked to, platonically… I was busy looking at you all night, you know?" I push a few strands of hair back from her face to behind her ear.
"I know," she whispers.
"Dana, I…" I bite my lip.
"We shouldn't do this…" she says, stepping even closer towards me, her breasts pushing against me now.
"We shouldn't," I agree.
Our eyes meet again. And there's nothing we can do to stop the passion that's surging through us. There's nothing we want to do to stop it. Our mouths crash together as we desperately pull each other's clothes off. We move towards the couch, leaving a trail of clothes as our mouths stay connected, small moans being absorbed into the kiss. As we reach the couch she breaks off the kiss and looks down my naked body. My cock is pointing almost straight up. She bites her lip and lowers herself down to her knees. I can't even comprehend what's happening before she's taken me into her mouth.
"Oh fuck!" I groan, leaning my head back in ecstasy.
I don't let her go for long, I can't. I won't last if she keeps it up. I pull her away by the hair, entangling my hand in her red locks. She stands back up and our mouths meet again. I can taste myself on her tongue but I don't care - I need to kiss her. I lift her and she locks her legs behind my back. My hands are hungrily squeezing her ass as my mouth moves down her neck.
"Mulder!" she moans straight into my ear, making my cock twitch against her already wet center. "I want you inside of me… please, Mulder…"
I gently place her on the couch, settling between her legs. My one hand next to her head, holding myself up, the other hand guiding my hard cock to her slick folds. My eyes lock with hers as I slowly ease my way inside of her. Her eyes roll back as she moans content. I swallow her moan as I kiss her while I move in and out of her slowly. Our faces are close together, I can't stop looking at her. Normally I close my eyes when I kiss her but I don't want to miss anything. I missed this so much. I never want to miss this again. I want her. I want her to be mine. Forever.
My wrists start to hurt so I turn us over, leaving her on top now. I sit up on the couch, my hands on her hips, helping her move up and down my cock. Her arms are hanging loosely around my neck. I kiss her breasts, her neck, her shoulder, everything I can reach. Her moans are getting louder and more uncontrolled. A sense of reality hits me and I realise we can't get caught… I catch her mouth with mine and our moans and groans get caught in each other's mouth as we passionately move together before we both come. I feel at home. Coming inside of her always made me feel a weird sense of pride - like claiming ownership. This woman is mine. I bury my head in her chest, trying to catch my breath. Her hands are around my shoulders, holding me close, playing with my hair.
We don't say anything as I pull the blanket down from the back of the couch and cover us. I lay down and she snuggles into my side, using my chest as a pillow. We both know we can't stay here for long. Bill and Tara will come down here eventually but not for another few hours at least. For the first time in six months I fall asleep immediately.
I feel incredibly happy as I wake up. For a few seconds I wonder why until it all comes back to me. I look down at her and notice her stirring awake. Her hand starts drawing circles on my tummy. I forgot about that. I love it when she does that. Suddenly I'm aware of the sound that woke me in the first place. What is that tapping?
"Someone's knocking on the door," Dana states sleepily.
"Oh," I sigh. "They'll probably go away."
I look up to the clock on the wall. It's not even 9 o'clock on a Saturday… who's knocking at this time?
"Maybe it's the last of my boxes," she says in a yawn.
She's been waiting for the last few things to arrive from Massachusetts for a week now.
I stretch and get up from the couch, I manage to locate my clothes and sleepily pull on my boxers and pants from the night before, throwing Dana the white polo I was wearing. I walk towards the door where the post is still knocking as Dana pulls on her panties and the t-shirt I threw her.
I open the door and rub my eyes but I'm taken aback. It's not the post… it's…
"Wow, dude!" McGregor chuckles. "Is that lipstick?"
He's pointing at my face and I just stare at him. I'm suddenly aware that my pants aren't even buttoned.
"Is it for me?" Dana asks, walking into view before I can even get a word of warning across my lips.
"Dana!" his eyes widen and he looks confused as he takes in our appearance.
Dana has put on her skirt from last night but she's very clearly wearing my t-shirt… and our hair is a mess… apparently I have her lipstick on my face…
"Ethan!" she says. "What… what are you doing here?"
"I… I wanted to take you out for breakfast… I tried calling…"
He's completely stunned. So am I. I should leave. But I can't. I just look at him. His eyes are moving away from her, the hurt going away and being replaced with anger as he locks onto me. He steps over the threshold and pushes me. I don't even budge. His hands just end up on my solid chest before he removes them again, fisting them by his sides.
"Why?" he asks me, his voice cracking. "She was mine! Why did you have to do that?"
"She was never yours," I tell him angrily, taking a step towards him.
"Mulder!" she stops me, her hand on my abs. "Don't!"
I step back and McGregor looks even more pissed.
"Ethan, I'm sorry!" she says sincerely, trying to push me away, putting herself in the middle of us.
"Him?" he asks her, back to being hurt. "Why him, Dana? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing, Ethan!" she sighs. "You're great, it's just…"
Just what?
"Just what?" he asks what I was wondering myself.
"I'm not sure, Ethan… I didn't mean for it to happen, I didn't want to hurt you!" she assures him. "Mulder, could you back off?"
"What?" I ask in surprise at suddenly being excluded.
"Just give us a few minutes," she rolls her eyes at me and walks outside to talk to him without me.
Oh well… I zip and button my pants and begin to clean up the living room and kitchen. It's still quite messy after the party, despite the cleaning up we did last night. I can't help but hum and smile as I clean up. I'm in a surprisingly good mood today.
It's more than a few minutes but Dana finally comes back in.
"So?" I ask her as she just looks at me. "What happened?"
"You're in an awfully good mood," she notices.
"Well," I smirk and shrug.
"Right," she rolls her eyes at me. "I broke up with Ethan."
"Good," I nod, wiping down the table.
"Why's that good?" she sighs, sitting down at the table.
"Well, you didn't love him…" I frown.
"I could have…" she sighs. "With time, maybe."
"Probably not," I shrug. "You need someone you're passionate about. Someone who treats you like a woman, someone who can handle your passion."
"Mulder, you broke up with me…" she folds her arms over her chest. "I was trying to get over you. I was trying so fucking hard not to think about you. I started dating Ethan. And then you reel me back in… are you just trying to keep me from ever being happy? Why are you playing with me like this?"
"I'm not!" I say defensively and try to take her hand but she keeps her arms folded over her chest. "Dana… I tried so hard not to get involved with you again… I wanted to move to DC but I couldn't not see you ever again… I wanted to say no to you moving in but I… I want you close! Whatever I do, whatever I want to do… I can't help but choosing you…"
"But why did you end things then?" she seems very confused.
"I…" do I tell her? Everything will change if I tell her this. But I can't lie to her anymore. She deserves the truth. I should have never lied to her in the first place.
We hear a giggle come from Bill's bedroom. Bill and Tara are up. And they'll be down here soon.
"Okay," I say and smile. "I'll tell you everything. But you should probably go get dressed before your brother comes down."
"We'll talk after then?" she asks eagerly as she stands up.
"I promise," I smile at her and pull her in for a kiss.
She jogs up the stairs and goes to the bathroom. After a few minutes I hear the shower turn on. I continue to clean up as Tara comes down wearing some denim shorts and one of Bill's t-shirts. We say good morning to each other and she stretches and yawns as she helps me out. Suddenly she starts to laugh and I look up at her.
"Did you get lucky last night?" she winks at me, pointing at my face.
I remember the lipstick on my face and roll my eyes at her as I go to the sink to wash my face. She continues to poke fun at me as we clean up. When we've gotten most of it done, I put over some coffee while Tara makes us some breakfast. I sit down by the island with my coffee as Tara continues to tease me while frying up some eggs.
"Is Bill not up yet?" Dana asks Tara as she joins us in the kitchen, sitting down next to me.
"Not yet," Tara smiles at her. "Morning, Dana."
"Morning," she says back but she looks at me as she says it.
She's pretty much eating me with her eyes - and I'm pretty sure I'm doing the same thing to her. She's wearing some loose but very skimpy skimpy shorts and a cute little top… I don't even think she's wearing a bra, God help me.
"Morning, Dana," I give her a cute little smile.
"What's up with you two?" Tara wonders out loud.
"What do you mean?" I shrug but can't help but smile into my coffee.
"You've been bickering and avoiding each other for the past week and now you're… oh! Oh no! Oh no, tell me you didn't…" she's looking at the both us and I think she can read us like an open book. "I didn't want to know that!"
"Tara…" Dana starts but Tara cuts her off.
"I don't want to hear it!" she sighs and shakes her head - then she begins laughing. "Oh, I do not want to be there when your brother finds out!"
"Is it really that bad?" I sigh, feeling defeated - I still don't want to separate Dana from her family for being with me… if she still wants to be with me.
"What do you think?" she chuckles. "I mean… I've seen the way you two look at each other but I was always so impressed with your ability to keep it in your pants for Bill's sake."
"Yeah," I shake my head and laugh. "You really shouldn't be impressed, Tara… it hasn't been in the pants for years!"
"Mulder!" Dana smacks my chest with the back of her hand, her face completely flustered.
"How long?" Tara asks, her eyes wide as she's half smiling and half frowning.
"Well, it's been over four years since we first… well, you know," I shrug.
"Mulder, why are you telling her this?" Dana tries to whisper.
"It's okay," I tell her soothingly, putting my hand on her lower back. "We can trust Tara - I want to get her thoughts on this."
"You're damn right you can trust me," she chuckles. "No way am I telling Bill this! Dana, he thinks you're a virgin, do you know that?"
"Ehm, yeah," she shields her face slightly with her hand on her forehead. "I know…"
Bill's bedroom door opens and the three of us jump slightly before breaking into laughter.
"What's so funny?" Bill asks, confused as he walks towards us.
"Nothing, man," I shake my head and get up from my chair. "I'll just grab a quick shower before breakfast."
"How many times do I have to tell you to wear a shirt around my sister?" Bill frowns as he sees my bare chest.
"Hey, I'm leaving!" I roll my eyes at him. "Chill, Bill!"
x
Dana POV
All day Mulder and I try to get some alone time so we can finally talk. He's going to tell me something - something about why he ended things with me. He's in such a good mood today. I feel proud knowing I put him in that mood. I feel guilty about cheating on Ethan, even though I never made him any promises. I feel relieved about breaking up with him though. I actually thought I was enjoying myself, going out with him… but when he left this morning all I felt was relief. He was a good guy… but he just wasn't Mulder.
I can't believe Mulder told Tara about us. I mean, she pretty much figured us out but he didn't have to tell her that we've been sleeping together for years. But he wanted to get her thoughts on it… Tara probably knows Bill better than anyone… does Mulder actually want to be together? Does he want Tara's advice on… telling Bill?
I have to talk to him. Why is Bill set on spending the whole day with Mulder? After breakfast Tara leaves and Mulder and Bill go out and they don't come back for a few hours. After lunch they shoot some hoops down at the park. Now they're sitting on the couch watching some sports program on tv. At least my last few boxes finally arrive. I carry them up to the guest bedroom where I begin unpacking. I've only just finished and things are finally the way I want them when Mulder tabs slightly on the open door.
"Can I come in?" he asks sweetly.
"Of course," I nod as I sit down on the small single bed in my room.
He walks in and looks curiously around the room. A lot of his stuff is still in here, as this was his home office before I moved in, but I've made it a bit more comfy and cozy with the stuff from my old dorm room.
"I love what you've done with the place," he chuckles, sitting down in the desk chair.
I look over to the door - he didn't close it.
"Tara and Bill left," he says. "We can talk now."
"Good," I say but my heart is beating so fast. "You were gonna tell me something?"
"Yeah," he sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Ugh, fuck!"
"Mulder, please!" I beg him, leaning back against the wall as I cross my arms over my chest.
"I…" he begins nervously. "I asked Bill for his permission to ask you out on a date."
"What?" I'm so confused.
"It was a few days after Christmas… you'd been over the night before and we'd hung out with Bill and had quite a good time… I just kept wondering what he'd say when we finally told him… I mean, I had to live with him, see him every day… and ever since Thanksgiving when you finally said you'd be with me… it was all I could think about!"
He looks so distressed thinking back on all of this. I just want to hold him.
"So, I finally just asked him if I could ask you out on a date… and he said no!" he hangs his head. "He said he didn't want me anywhere near you… he pretty much said that I wasn't good enough for you and that he'd end our friendship if I ever pursued you."
"So you chose Bill's friendship over a relationship with me?" I wonder.
"No, fuck no!" he shakes his head. "But I thought about what would happen when we told your family… if Bill doesn't accept it… and your dad definitely won't… you'd lose them, Dana. You'd have to choose between me and your family… I just wanted you to be happy but I didn't feel like I could make you truly happy…"
"Mulder," I sigh as I get up from the bed and walk over to him, sitting down sideways on his lap, his arms immediately tightening around me as I stroke his hair. "I was happy with you."
"But I don't want to take you away from your family, Dana…" he sighs sadly, looking up at me like a lost boy.
I notice the dark circles under his eyes. That's not from a single night of not getting enough sleep.
"Mulder, my family loves me," I tell him. "They wouldn't cut me off. My dad would have a hard time accepting it… but he would regardless of who I'd be bringing home! And Bill… Bill would never say yes to anyone asking me out, Mulder. He loves you, he'll come around, I know he will."
"Yeah?" he still looks so insecure.
"Mulder, I love you," I tell him.
I've never told him that before. I've loved him for as long as I can remember but I've never actually said the words out loud.
"Dana," he tightens his hold on me, resting his face against my chest. "I love you so much! I never want to let go of you again!"
"Good," I sigh content as I hold him close.
We sit like this for the longest time. We share a few comforting kisses and touches but mainly we just hug and hold each other close.
"How are we even gonna do this?" he wonders out loud.
"I have no idea," I chuckle. "I just want to be with you for a little while before we tell everyone… I don't want to deal with my family straight away, especially not Bill… I mean, can you imagine what it would be like living with him after we tell him?"
"But you're looking for a place, aren't you?" he asks me.
"Yeah, it might take a few months until something opens up that I can afford though," I sigh.
"Well, we can tell your family in a few months then," he says and kisses my cheek. "It gives us some time to just be the two of us."
"I like the sound of that," I agree with a smile.
Next chapter will be out on next Friday, the 19'th of February!
Please review if you still want more!