My Brother's Best Friend
A story by Government Patsy
Chapter 11
Bill POV
I don't know how I've been so blind for so many years. My best friend and my little sister are so very clearly deeply in love. I still wish I hadn't walked in on them about to have sex… it certainly didn't help me towards acceptance. The image of Mulder's cock straining against his boxers is burned into my brain - and it flashes before my eyes every night when I see my sister walk into his bedroom.
That being said; I'm truly happy for them. Now that the initial shock has died down, I can see how good they are for each other. They deserve to be as happy together as I am with Tara. And quite frankly, I've never seen any of them happier individually than they are now that they're together. They're not overly affectionate which I'm very grateful for. It's been a few weeks since I found out about them and Tara is visiting with some of her family down in Florida, meaning I'm home every single day right now and not spending half of my time at Tara's place. It also means that I really get to see Dana and Mulder together.
One Saturday morning, I've actually slept in for once. I work very hard during the week and often I do some work from home during the weekend as well - this weekend I'm taking some much needed time off though! It's almost 10 o'clock when I finally get out of bed and put on some comfy shorts and a loose t-shirt. I stretch and walk out of my room to see Dana cooking down in the kitchen. I lean forward on the railing and I'm just about to say good morning to her when Mulder enters the kitchen. Dana is standing by the stove, scrambling some eggs by the looks of it, and Mulder is leaning back against the kitchen island, just watching her. She looks at him over her shoulder and gives him a suggestive smile, making him step forward and envelop her in his arms. She giggles and leans back against him, he's whispering something in her ear as he grinds slightly against her.
I might have accepted their relationship but this is too much for me. Usually they're never touchy feely around me and what I'm seeing has paralized me temporarily. As his hand sneaks up under her t-shirt, I have to react though. I clear my throat and walk down the stairs without looking at them. As I make it down to the kitchen Mulder is sat down by the kitchen island while Dana is still cooking by the stove, a faint blush creeping up on her face.
"Good morning," I tell them as I sit down next to Mulder and try not to notice him tugging at his pants to hide his erection.
They tell me good morning back and I try not to feel like a third wheel. This is just the first incident that leads me to make a very big decision.
The second incident happens the very next day. I've thoroughly enjoyed my weekend off. Yesterday Dana and Mulder spent most of the day at Mulder's parents' house and today they've had lunch at my parents' place. I've gone for a morning jog; had a long, hot shower; talked to Tara on the phone; had a meatball sub from my favorite deli for lunch and I'm currently enjoying a nap on the couch in the living room when I'm interrupted by Dana and Mulder coming home. It takes me a moment to realise why I've woken up so abruptly but they're bickering about something.
"You're wrong, Dana!" Mulder says exhaustedly. "I don't think your dad will ever come around regarding me - he just hates me!"
"Mulder, you have to be a bit more patient with him," she sighs, closing the door behind her. "Besides you could try a bit more with him - I feel like you've just given up!"
"Given up?" he exclaims. "Dana, he barely looked at me today - when I talked to him he just nodded or shrugged! He's the one making this way harder than it should be!"
"Well, what do you want me to do about it, Mulder?" she asks him, moving further into the room. "I can't control my dad!"
"Well, you shouldn't have fucked me in their bathroom that one time - I'm sure your dad knows!" Mulder exclaims.
I really wish I'd gone for that nap in my room - it's way too late to interrupt their conversation now. I cover my face in my hands and pray that they leave soon.
"How the hell would he know that, Mulder?" she sighs. "You're being paranoid again!"
"Do you remember when you left me alone with him today? Your mom was in the kitchen and you went to the bathroom and he was just looking into the garden. It was awkward as hell so I got up to leave and he said, and I quote: I'm sure Dana can manage on her own."
"Mulder!" she seems very exhausted with him by now. "Just shut up about my dad, dammit!"
"Do you think the reason your dad hates me is because he knows how good I fuck his daughter?" Mulder's voice is suddenly low and raspy and I feel myself freeze - what the fuck?
"Don't talk about my dad like that!" Dana objects but something in her voice seems different.
"It turns you on, doesn't it? Makes you feel rebellious? Fucking someone you know that your dad disapproves of," he suggests.
"Mulder, I don't want my dad to hate you!" she objects.
"Oh, I know," he chuckles. "But part of you likes rebelling against him, just admit it. Does it make you wet when you think about how much he dislikes me? Is that why you had to fuck me after introducing me to your family?"
"You're such a fucking dick, Mulder!" she tells him but she doesn't sound angry.
They're suddenly quiet and my eyes widen in surprise as I hear silent moaning and groaning. I have to get out of this situation right now.
"Whatever you're doing, please stop!" I beg of them.
"Bill, what the hell?" Mulder exclaims and I sit up just in time to see him zip his pants back up - how the hell were his pants already unzipped?
"You two are fucking weird!" I exclaim, shaking my head as I get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen.
"Bill, you shouldn't have listened in on us like that!" Dana scolds me, her face completely red.
"Do you honestly think I wanted to hear that?" I ask her as I roll my eyes and pour myself a glass of water. "I live here too, you know! I was just taking a nap when suddenly I have to listen to my best friend talking about fucking my little sister!"
"Bill!" Mulder chuckles, trying to envelop Dana in his arms. "Don't say stuff like that, you'll embarrass Dana!"
"You're both embarrassing me," she says as she pushes him away. "I'm going upstairs."
"Oh, did you want… company?" Mulder asks her hopefully.
"Not really," she shoots him down and looks pretty triumphant when he acts like she shot him in the heart and he clasps his chest, making her giggle as she runs up the stairs.
"You're so lame," I tell him as I hear their bedroom door shut.
"Oh well," he shrugs, throwing himself down on the couch and turning on the tv on one of the sports channels, the volume down low.
"Could you maybe not talk about fucking my sister in the common areas of this apartment by the way?" I wonder as I sit down next to him.
"No promises," he just shrugs and smirks. "I like fucking your sister!"
"For fuck's sake!" I fling a cushion towards his face. "Can't you at least pretend for my sake that you don't do weird stuff with my sister?"
"Okay, okay," he chuckles, throwing the pillow back in my direction. "By the way, Bill… ehm, at night, you don't hear anything from our bedroom, do you?"
"Jesus!" I exclaim, I wish he'd steer this conversation in a different direction. "No, Mulder, I don't! I sleep with headphones on to help me sleep through the night, the meditation crap Tara suggested actually helps."
"Good, that's really good," he nods his head and tries not to smirk.
The third incident happens a few days after this.
It's almost six o'clock when I come home from work. Usually Mulder comes home from work before me and starts dinner. I'm famished. I look in the fridge and see that Mulder's shopped for his famous pork chops. Why isn't he home yet? I have no idea how to cook that. I hear a strangled sound coming from his bedroom and figure that he's working out - that man sneaks in a workout as often as he can, it's borderlining addiction.
I run up the stairs and knock on his door and try to open it but it's locked.
"Hey, Mulder - are you done soon?" I ask in a sigh.
"Just… ehm, yeah…" he says, sounding out of breath.
"Do you really have to work out right now, man?" I wonder out loud, my stomach growling.
He doesn't answer me. I sigh. A few minutes passes and nothing.
"Mulder?!" I knock again.
"Bill, for fuck's sake!" Dana exclaims. "Just give us five minutes!"
My neck turns completely red and I immediately go downstairs. I can't fucking believe this. I'm so embarrassed and annoyed and just fucking sick of living with them. I love them. So much. But I don't need this!
After a few minutes of just sitting on the couch and looking straight up to the ceiling, my arms crossed over my chest, Mulder comes bouncing down the stairs as I hear Dana move into the bathroom.
"Ehm, sorry about that," he shrugs, rubbing his neck. "I'll make us dinner!"
"Fucking hell," I sigh as I look over at him. "Please tell me, I didn't just talk to you while you had your dick buried in my sister!"
"Oh, no!" he chuckles, shaking his head. "You didn't!"
"Really?" I feel grateful, getting up from the couch and sitting down by the kitchen island as Mulder starts up dinner. "I'm so fucking relieved!"
"I mean…" he shrugs. "I was going down on her - but that's all."
"Mulder!" I exclaim. "How the hell is that better?"
"I don't know," he chuckles with a smirk - this son of a bitch is enjoying making my life miserable. "You've told me way worse about your partners in the past, Bill. And in way more graphic detail too."
"But you're talking about my sister!" I remind him exhaustedly. "Why do you insist on making me uncomfortable like this?"
"It's funny," he smirks. "Do you know how long I suffered because of you? First I had to turn down Dana, the woman of my dreams, because she was your sister! Then you told me I'd never be good enough for her and I had to end things with her - which almost killed me. And then you were completely fine with McGregor when she dated him! Do you know how fucking bad that made me feel? So yeah, if I can make your life a little miserable, I'll fucking take it."
"Jeez, Mulder," I roll my eyes at him. "You're such a drama queen, I swear."
"Says you," he chuckles. "Can't you just be happy that your sister is happy? I make her sooo happy, man!"
"Oh, fuck off! You know I'm happy for you guys!" I tell him. "That doesn't mean you have to rub your sex life in my face!"
"I really don't do that though!" he chuckles as he starts grilling the pork chops on a pan. "Bill, our door was locked - you could have just walked away instead of whining like a little baby!"
"Boys!" Dana sighs as she walks down the stairs. "Why are you arguing? I could hear you from the bathroom!"
"Your brother is being a baby!" Mulder tells her, his back to the both of us as he cooks us dinner.
"Well, Mulder is being a dick!" I exclaim. "You should hear the way he talks about you!"
"About me?" her eyebrows are raised. "Mulder, what have you said?"
"Nothing," he chuckles, shrugging. "I just told your brother that I make you happy."
"That's not how he said it," I argue. "And Dana, do you really need to indulge Mulder in the middle of the day? Can't you at least make him wait till you go to bed?"
"Bill," she rolls her eyes at me. "I know I'm your sister, but I don't indulge, Mulder."
"What do you mean?" I wrinkle my brow.
"She likes to have sex," Mulder explains with a smirk, looking at Dana who walks over to push him slightly.
"Bill, when your sister asks me to do something, I do it, okay? Just like I'm sure you do for Tara," he shrugs, pulling Dana into his side as he turns over one of the pork chops.
My sister asked him to do that for her? I can't believe it… I look at her, looking up at Mulder, her hands all over his chest and abdomen. Oh, God. Does she need to touch him like that?
"I don't do that for Tara," I tell them. "I don't think people normally just do that!"
"Bill… do you really want to talk about this?" Dana sighs.
"You know what, I really don't!" I agree with her.
I can't shake that conversation though. I always thought of Mulder as the driving force in their relationship. I always thought he'd been the one to pursue her. I never even imagined how much my sister wanted him in that way. She's always so serious and proper.
A few nights after this Tara comes back home and I'm spending the night at her place.
"Tara, have you ever wanted me to go down on you?" I ask her as we're cuddled up in bed.
"God no, Bill, I'm a republican for heaven's sake!" she exclaims, making me chuckle.
"Me too," I tell her, giving her a chaste kiss.
"Why would you ask me that?" she wonders, chuckling.
"Mulder told me that he does that to Dana," I sigh. "He's such a jerk these days!"
"He just wants to get a rise out of you, honey," she chuckles. "I'm not surprised though - I walked in on them once doing something like that."
"You did?" I'm surprised. "What do you mean with something like that?"
"I mean oral sex - just the other way around," she trails off.
It takes me a few seconds to realise what she's saying.
"Wait, what?" I exclaim. "My sister did that?"
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either," Tara chuckles. "I know we don't do that - but do you ever wish we did?"
"No," I assure her. "I'm not gonna lie, I've had girls do that for me before - but I never want you to do that. It feels too dirty. I love you. It's different with you."
"I do wonder how freaky those two get," Tara admits, making me whine in agony, causing Tara to laugh.
The fourth incident is caused by Tara. She's only been back in town for a few days. We're having dinner at the apartment. It's a Friday evening and Dana's invited over Melissa and Charlie as well. I love all three of my siblings and we hardly ever spend time together outside of our parents' house. We've all had a few glasses of wine with dinner. I think Tara is slightly tipsy. Mulder turns on some music as we've cleared the table and Dana brings out a few more bottles of wine.
"Did you guys ever play Never have I ever?" Tara asks excitedly.
"Not since high school!" Melissa chuckles. "Oh, we have to play!"
"I never played it!" Dana exclaims, sounding like she's been robbed of something.
"I really don't want to play that with my sisters!" I tell them.
"You're such a prude, honey!" Tara admonishes me.
"You really are, Bill!" Charlie agrees in a laugh. "C'mon, it'll be fun!"
I look at Dana and Mulder sitting opposite Tara and me, Charlie and Melissa at each end of the table. Mulder seems a bit hesitant about this game too, which actually makes me want to play it. He looks like a man who has something to hide.
The game starts off innocent enough. We all start off with two hands in the air and put down a finger every time someone says something that we've done.
"Never have I ever…" Dana thinks for a few seconds. "Had a one night stand."
Everyone has to put a finger down except her, Mulder rolls his eyes at her but smiles proudly - I guess he likes being the only one she's ever been with. Which is kind of cute actually.
Somehow the game turns into boys versus girls and we try to get each other down.
"Never have I ever kissed a girl!" Tara says but then covers her mouth. "Oh fuck, sorry, Melissa!"
Melissa just breaks out laughing though but when Dana puts down a finger too, Mulder immediately looks at her and goes: "What the fuck? When?"
"Ehm, college," she shrugs, blushing. "I'll tell you about it later."
"Wait, you cheated on me with a girl?" he seems upset.
"Of course not!" she sighs. "Mulder, it happened when we weren't together."
"Why did you never tell me about it?" he wonders.
"Babe, please," she chuckles, placing her hand on his chest. "I was drunk, okay? I pretty much forgot all about it until just now!"
"Okay," he sighs.
"I'm impressed though," Melissa acknowledges her. "I always thought I was the only deviant in this family."
We all laugh with her and Dana tells her that she isn't a deviant.
We take turns and get more and more into the game, more and more wine bottles are standing empty in the kitchen as well.
"Never have I ever had sex with more than twenty people," Dana says as she eyes me up.
I have to put down a finger as the only one - I desperately want to get her back for that. We're all down to our last hand and none of us want to lose this game.
"Never have I ever seen Mulder's penis!" I say triumphantly.
"Bill!" Tara complains as she puts down a finger.
"Wait, what the fuck?" Charlies bursts out.
"I told you she saw it!" Mulder tries to whisper to Dana.
"Tara?" I exclaim in horror.
"Bill, I told you!" Tara chuckles. "I walked in on them that one time…"
"You didn't tell me that you saw his fucking penis!" I shriek, causing the rest of the table to break into fits of laughter.
"Wait, what happened?" Melissa manages to ask through her laughter.
"Tara walked in on us, as I was… well…" Dana flushes a deep shade of red and Mulder leans over to put his arm around her as she hides her face in her hands.
"Dana had my… ehm, thing in her mouth when Tara walked in - and when Dana turned her head it kind of… popped out…" he explains making Melissa laugh even harder.
"Hey Tara, is Fox as well hung as Dana says he is then?" Melissa asks Tara.
"Missy!" Dana hits her arm and turns red once more.
"It's quite impressive, isn't it, Tara?" Mulder chuckles at her.
"Well, let's just say Dana's definitely not a liar," Tara giggles and winks at Melissa.
"Nice one, dude!" Charlie seems impressed and high-fives Mulder.
"Charlie, you do realise he's sleeping with your sister, right?" I ask him, annoyed with this whole exchange about Mulder's massive penis.
"Wait, ew!" Charlie looks confused and then horrified making the girls laugh as Mulder just shakes his head while smirking.
Soon after this the game is over. A few of us end up losing at the same time.
The girls start talking about something at their end of the table while Charlie starts asking Mulder questions about the FBI. The two of them always got along well and even more so now that Charlie is older. I walk to the kitchen to get some water so I won't have a headache in the morning after drinking all that wine. As I look over to the table, I notice Mulder's hand on Dana's thigh as they have their backs to me. They're carrying each their own conversation and it doesn't seem like he's doing anything lewd. I mean, I guess they are kind of cute together.
Charlie ends up crashing on the couch and Melissa takes the bed in the guest bedroom where Dana used to sleep - and the fourth incident leads straight to the fifth and final incident.
"What a night!" Tara sighs as we finally crawl into bed together.
"I never want to play that game with my siblings again!" I chuckle.
"I'm sorry, honey," she chuckles back.
Bickering from the bedroom next to ours interrupts the low rumbling of our laughs.
"Are they fighting?" Tara whispers.
"I think so," I say surprised. "I wonder what that's about…"
Their voices get louder and louder and I'm starting to genuinely worry about them.
"Should I go in there?" I ask Tara as I sit up in bed.
"Maybe… wait…" she pauses mid-sentence. "I think they stopped."
"Good, I think I-" I stop talking when the low banging of their bed against the wall begins. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me!"
"Oh, Bill," Tara chuckles, sounding truly sorry for me.
"I'm moving out!" I exclaim.
"Yeah?" she kisses my cheek. "I think that's a good decision for you, honey."
"Move in with me?" I ask her on a whim.
"Of course," she sighs content, snuggling into my side.
And that's the five incidents that led me to my decision about moving out. I love my sister and Mulder but I can't live with them anymore. And moving in with Tara… it seems like the right time.
I hope you enjoyed this slightly different chapter from Bill's point of view - it was surprisingly fun to write! Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts! x
This chapter was kind of a filler - shit will go down in the next chapter. Consider yourself warned.