I meant for this to be released Christmas Day, but there was a delay. Anyways, Merry Christmas and enjoy!

After roughly 20 minutes, Sarge and Church reappeared from the rocks.

"Good news" Sarge said, "We've got a schedule down for fun things to do."

"Better news" Church said, "I talked him out of activities that were most likely to get us all killed. By which I mean all of his ideas."

"Oh, please" Sarge argued, "I told you, bobbing for grenades is not going to kill them if the pin is still in the grenade."

"I'm sorry, what?" Griff asked.

Sarge took no notice. "So, without further ado, let the celebration begin!"

First, Church instructed that there be two teams, comprised of both Red and Blue Team members, Church and Sarge included. After some straw-drawing, coin flipping, and unnecessarily intense arm-wrestling, the two teams were set: Church, Grif, Caboose, and Lopez vs Tex, Sarge, Simmons, Donut, and Tucker.

"Well," Sarge said, "Now that's the teams are out of the way, let's see how my team can prove their superiority."

Grif sighed. "And THERE'S the Sarge we know."

Tucker cracked his knuckles. "Let's get these over with."

Shooting Contest

A series of five targets were at opposite ends of the canyon, with both teams shooting practically back to back with sniper rifles. Caboose had to sit this one out, and sat on a nearby rock, twiddling his thumbs as the others fired. The rule was to get as many accurate hots as possible with two clips of ammunition each.

Not surprisingly, most of them were making pretty good hits (even Grif hit the thing once...even if it was the outer ring). Church on the other hand...

"GODDAMMIT!" he yelled, angrily throwing his rifle on the ground; he hadn't hit a single shot, "This rifle's fucking busted! Did you rig this thing, red head?!"

"Hey" Sarge argued, "I never hand out faulty rifles in a shooting competition; it's not good form. That's not the rifle's fault; you just can't seem to aim. Honestly, I'm surprised Grif is better at this than you (boy that felt weird coming out)."

Church tightened his fist as he tried to think of a real creative insult. However, Tex put a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Easy, Church" she said, "We'll just sub Caboose in."

Church was silent for a few moments, but decided to agree with Tex and called Caboose over, handing him the rifle.

"Remember," Church told him, "Shoot that target. Nothing else. Got that?"

"Got it!" Caboose replied, raising the gun, "This will be easy!"

Grif noticed this over his shoulder. "We're fucked..."

"Just watch" Tex advised. She had emptied her clips a while ago and now watched the others. Caboose lifted the rifle and pointed it at the target, but he made no shot.

"Well?" Sarge demanded, "Just fire the damn thing already!"

"I can't" Caboose bluntly said.

"Why not!?" Church yelled.

Lopez shook his head in frustration as he said, in Spanish of course, "Why the hell did we get this loser on our team?"

Caboose replied to Church. "Because the target looks too nice. I don't want to ruin it."

There were a few moments of comedic silence before Sarge looked over to Church.

"Why is he even here?" Sarge asked, "Better yet, why is he even a goddamn soldier in this great conflict of ours?"

Church simply shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

Tex shook her head in frustration before telling Caboose. "Caboose, if you hit the target I'll give you ten bucks."

"Okay" Caboose suddenly said before immediately firing, hitting the target dead center every time. When he was done, he looked back to Tex.

"How'd I do?" he asked.

Tex gave him a thumbs up. Everyone else, however, looked completely stunned.

"I'm sorry...what?!" Tucker asked.

"Wait" Simmons asked, "You didn't know he could do that?"

"The dude can't even remember where he is half the time, ok?" Tucker protested.

Sarge examined each of the targets. "Well, whatever happened, looks like your team scored the best. You get the points for this one."

Church fist pumped in the air while Caboose happily clapped in celebration of the victory.

"Ok" Tucker said, "What's next?"

Base Decorating

Both teams had a set number of hours to decorate the two bases however they wanted, with Sarge and Church as (definitely non-biased) judges. At the Red base, Grif, Lopez, and Tex clambered around on the roof and on the wall using ladders to try and get a decent looks going with the strings of lights they found in Blue Team's storage room (though why they were there, no one knew).

Grif stood on a ladder, stapling lights onto the walls, when he heard what undoubtedly sounded like Caboose singing to himself, something about rocks and taxes. Taking a brief pause and looked to the left to see Caboose running around like an excited puppy, stapling light strings on every empty space possible.

"I hope he doesn't lose this for us" Grif told the others, who were handing his the lights, "We had a good start."

"Don't get your hopes up" Tex said, "We got lucky last time, but Caboose is the equivalent of a walking disaster most of the time."

"Yeah, no kidding" Grif replied as he continued decorating. Suddenly, Caboose, carrying a stack of lights, ran for the wall.

"Watch out!" he yelled, "I have no idea where I'm going!"

Tex looked up at Caboose and realized where he was heading. "Caboose, STOP!"

Too late.

Caboose accidentally ran into the ladder, knocking it, and Grif, over. Grif managed to right himself, sure he would land on his feet liked he was taught at boot camp. But he didn't realize the ladder was still underneath him, and that it bounced back up when it hit the ground, smacking him in the groin. Grif slowly fell to his knees before dropping to the ground, groaning, "wwhyyyyyyy...?"

Caboose looked over at Grif for a few comedic moments.

"Tucker did it." he said.

...

Once time was up, Sarge and Church looked at the two bases, starting with Blue base. The team had done very well, thank to Simmons coordinating the whole thing, and it was very festive to look at.

"Damn" Church said, "I'm impressed."

"You should be" Sarge replied, "It was done by glorious Red hands."

Simmons felt a twinge of pride at the compliment.

Sarge turned the other direction. "Now, let's see how the others did."

Knowing Caboose was on the other team, Church expected it to be more of a mess, but he wasn't expecting to see more lights than base. And yet, that's what greeted their eyes, with Caboose proudly waving his arms in display.

"Ta-da!" he announced.

"What in the Sam Hill happened here?" Sarge demanded, "Where's the base?"

Grif was still leaning over from the groin hit, but he managed to get out, "Buried under a couple inches of lights."

"Isn't it great?" Caboose asked, unfazed by Sarge's reaction as he held up a switch, "Now let's see it light up."

The rest of his team panicked. "Wait, NO!"

Too late...again.

Caboose hit the switch, and all the lights flared to life with such a force that everyone was shot backwards.

They all groaned as they sat back up.

"We...should have seen that coming..." Lopez said (obviously in Spanish).

Sarge and Church came to a very quick, unanimous decision, and both teams tied at 1 point each.

Tucker did a small victory dance. "Yeah, BOW CHICKA BOW-"

He was suddenly knocked out by Donut. "Please...shut the fuck up."

Simmons walked over to Grif. "You ok?"

"At this point" Grif said, "I'm honestly surprised it still hurts..."

"Well, I think we're through the worst of it" Simmons comforted, "Sarge says there's one more event left."

"Greeeeeeat" Grif groaned, "What could go wrong this time?"

There were some comedic moments of silence before Tex said. "Grif...don't push your luck."

Once again...too late...