Naomi1Go: Thank you for the correction! The words blend together as I write and it's so easy to miss something! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!
rgauthier: Thank you for the lovely comment! This is my favorite chapter and I hope you love it as well!
With the timetable moved up, training moved through the first phase and into two and three fairly quickly. Making the time, dropping the missiles, and not hitting the side of the mountain was near impossible but they said it can be done. Group after group went with little to no success and the frustration was starting to build. The team aspect seemed to be here now, but not even the peppiest person could lift your spirits.
You kept repeating Hangman's words over in your head to let go and not think as much, but it wasn't helping. Nothing you were doing resulted in a complete success. Things went from bad to worse when yourself, Phoenix, and Bob went on your final run through for the day.
You heard Bob mention Maverick flying in the air with us, but you couldn't back off your mission. If it was the real thing, our country would be relying on us to do whatever we needed to do to ensure success. Even if it meant not coming back home. Phoenix told you to keep going and push a little harder, which you agreed with. The group of you made the time needed for the drop, but the missile went wide making it yet another failed attempt. All you could think about was the ice-cold beer that would somehow fix all of your problems later. The group of you kept going to simulate the last part needed until Maverick came out of nowhere.
You heard Phoenix get shot down and pushed your plane to go faster up the steep climb. If you could make it, you would be one of the first to complete phase three and that had to count for something.
You could see where the simulation had you end, but the edges of your vision started to blur. Fighting G-LOC was a losing battle, but the will to keep going through with the assignment was going to be the death of you. Maverick had said something, but your ears couldn't pick up anything other than the high-pitched ringing that seemed to surround you. Just a little further was what you were chanting in your head, but the black edges of your vision started to blend together and there was nothing you could do but give in.
"Ghost pull-up! Ghost!" You jerked in your seat as you heard the chaos that was surrounding you. "Shit!" You pulled up as hard as you could, praying that your plane wouldn't go up in flames on impact. By some unknown miracle, you pulled the massive machine back up and away from the side of the mountain.
"Ghost! Are you good?" Maverick's voice sounded calm, but you knew the older pilot was trying to keep it together for the rest of you.
"Yeah. I'm good." You winced as your voice came out shaky and had to tell yourself to let up some. Your grip on the controls was deathly tight and you could feel some of the adrenaline start to wear off as you made your way back to base.
Trying to control your breathing, you put all your focus on getting yourself back to a state of calm. Easier said than done, but you couldn't let this one mishap get to you. "Bird strike!" You weren't with the others but the voices over the radio had your heart pumping again. "Eject! Eject!" Looking around, you tried to find your teammates in hopes that they could safely eject but found them as soon as the plane crashed into the terrain. "Oh fuck." Through the smoke you couldn't see anything and that feeling of panic was creeping back in.
"I see them. A rescue team is already on their way." You were able to relax a bit at Maverick's statement. This training exercise went from bad to worse and the only thing you wanted was to be back on the ground. Something you thought you would never wish for. Flying was your escape from reality. The one place where you were able to defy all odds and be confident in every move you made. But today felt like a slap in the face. From the panic attack this morning to nearly dying from G-LOC, your mind and body was starting to shut down. Mentally you couldn't take much more.
Walking back into base was a wild experience to say the least. Still coming down from the terror induced flight, seeing concern on people's face was nearly the tipping point of losing your composure. Bradley was the first to you on the tarmac and pulled you in for a tight hug. "Jesus Christ. I didn't think you were going to come out of it in time."
You were trying to hide the shakiness that was settling over you, but he saw right through it. "Go take a shower and wash this day off you. We can go to the Hard Deck and try to take your mind off it." All you could do was nod your head and he walked in with you. A few different hands squeezed your shoulder as you walked through, but no one came up to you. Most of them knew what it was like to have a close call and the best thing for anyone is to work through it on their own.
Bradley went in a different direction once you reached your locker room but said he was only a shout away. You couldn't thank him enough for trying to be there for you. After you lost your WSO a few years back, you made it a point to keep everyone at arm's length. That way it hurt a little less if you lost them too.
With Phoenix headed to the hospital, you had the showers to yourself. Something you didn't take for granted. You closed your eyes as you let the water fall down your face and over your body, hoping to release some of the tension you accumulated throughout the day. As you ran a hand through your hair, you felt a sharp pain in your right wrist. It was bruised and swollen, but you couldn't figure out how it happened. Your mind replayed everything that happened today and the only thing you could think of was when you jerked back to consciousness, you must have hit it on something. It was able to bend and withhold some pressure, letting you know it wasn't broken but badly bruised at the least. Just another thing to add to this day from hell.
You gave up on actually showering and ended up sliding down the wall onto the floor. You could sit there for ages, trying to drown out the world around you like it wasn't really there. The Navy showers turned cold after some time, but it was another feeling you welcomed. The ice-cold drops gave you a sense of peace that you were still alive and not as hurt as you should be.
"Ella?" the male voice made you jump, knowing that you were completely naked and vulnerable. "Look sweetheart, you've been in here a while and I'm sure that water has to be freezing by now." That country twang that filled your ears gave you a small smile. "How about we get out and get a few drinks in you? I'll even buy them." You had to appreciate the effort he was putting in. He cared enough to get you out of the freezing water and self-deprecating thoughts but kept the conversation light.
You turned the water off and you swore you heard him sigh. "Give me five minutes." You heard his footsteps get quieter, but he yelled out, "Five minutes or I'm coming back in here. And my eyes won't be covered this time."
A warm feeling filled your heart and as much as you hated to admit it, the cocky blonde pilot was someone you were falling for.
The Hard Deck seemed too loud tonight. Even with it at half capacity, you couldn't bring yourself to enjoy the atmosphere. Hangman kept to his word and handed you a beer the second you walked in. He had asked you if you were doing alright, but you shook him off. You didn't need him worrying about you when he was here to have fun.
Even though you tried to play it off, he saw right through it. But there was one thing he had come to learn about you, and that was you couldn't be pushed. Because of that small bit of knowledge, he let you do what you needed to do but always had an eye on you. No one seemed to notice his attention being split between the game of pool and making sure you were within seeing distance. Except the pilot in the Hawaiian shirt.
Bradley came and sat at the table you were currently occupying, watching the game of pool unfold. Fanboy bet Hangman that he could beat him, but it was clearly a losing battle. "I went to go check on you when you didn't come out, but I heard Hangman in there."
You looked over to him, not really knowing what to say. Nothing had happened besides you having a pity party in the shower and him politely getting you out. After a beat of silence from you, he continued. "You know, I've always pictured him as selfish and even dangerous. Up in the air I wouldn't trust him with my life, and I guess that made me resent him as a person. But something changed between the two of you. From the actual words of encouragement this morning to what he said to you in the showers. It's making me change my view with him and I don't think I like it."
You raised your eyebrows at that. "And why not?"
He took a long sip of his beer and shook his head, "How do you go from hating someone since the moment you met them to thinking that you might have misunderstood them the whole time?"
It was true and you were all at a fault for it. Hangman put up a front just like everyone else and was too damn good at playing his role. Someone called Bradley's name and he got up saying that he'd check on you in a bit. If there was anything Maverick succeeded at, it was bringing everyone closer together as a group. Going from complete strangers to people showing concern for each other. It made this assignment that more dangerous knowing there was a good possibility someone may not come back.
You had enough of the loud music and cracking of pool balls and made your way outside. The relief was instant as the sound of the waves crashing against the shore greeted you. Your shoes were off in an instant and smiled when the smooth sand seeped in between your toes. It was almost like gravity was pulling towards the ocean, knowing that it was what you needed. You found a nice spot in the sand and looked up at the stars, knowing your old WSO was watching down on you.
It didn't take long for footsteps to be heard behind you, and you went back and forth on who it could be. There was one person you wanted and when, "is this seat taken?" was asked, you couldn't help but smile. "By all means." Hangman sat down next to you, looking as relaxed as you wished you could be.
"Today was a hard day." You couldn't help but snort at his statement. Hard was a whole damn understatement of what it really was.
"That is one word for it." The small smile stayed on your lips, and you didn't miss the way he stared at you. It was almost like he was trying to figure out what to say next.
"I know I might act like I don't care about anyone, but dammit Ella, don't you ever do something like you did today." Your head whipped over towards him, and you were met with nothing but concern. It had been a while since someone had cared about you, but damn did it feel good.
"I'm sorry. I just felt like with another miss of phase two, I had to complete phase three. I didn't think I would hit G-LOC like I did." Your attention turned back to the water in front of you, wanting to get away from the heated stare.
"Why do you push yourself so hard? What do you have left to prove?" It was valid questions that you had been avoiding for a long as time. Talking about it made it real and you preferred living in the nonreality.
"A few years back I wasn't prepared for a mission and because of that, I wasn't selected for it. I was the one pilot put on standby. But my WSO at the time was too fucking good at his job and rode the back seat of the pilot who was picked over me. Long story short, four planes went out and only three came back. If I was more prepared, I could've prevented that from happening. I let him die in the hands of another pilot because I wasn't good enough and I vowed to never be put in that position again." You didn't realize tears were streaming down your face until a warm hand brushed them away.
"You can't put that guilt on you, sweetheart. What if you went up and the two of you didn't come back? How would your WSO feel if he knew you were running yourself into the ground because of him?" You bit your lip as you tried to keep it together, but his next words managed to break you down completely.
"When I heard what was happening on the radio today, I nearly lost it. A few of the guys had to hold me back from getting in my plane and doing who knows what. I thought I lost you before I even had you." And that's when the sobs started. Jake pulled you into his lap and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you tried to calm down.
A thought popped into your mind, and you pulled your head from his chest as you said, "Who knew it took me nearly dying for you to say my name again." You didn't miss the genuine smile he gave you as he kissed the top of your head.
"Darlin' I'll say your name as many times as you want me to."
A/N: I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do! I love to hear your thoughts and comments always! Thank you so much for reading this series. Part 7 and 8 are in the works