~Review Corner~
OLD VERSIONS:
- Chapter 1 -
1213roxas: Kiryu's pairing choices will only be between Kotori and Anna, as for Luna I'm not sure if I'll include her or the Manga characters, I'll probably make my choice on that in book 2. If I do include Luna I'll probably pair her with Shark, My other planned pairings are Yuma with Cat and I'm leaning for Rio with Durbe. Kiryu's friends will not appear in this story, they were only meant to be a casual mention at the beginning.
Veta Takomoro: Thank's I'm glad your liking it.
jacobosei04: I don't have a web novel account and I don't think I would ever use it.
AmethystEspeon: It would be a better idea to consider this as more of a spiritual rewrite of In Another World With My Dueling Deck then an actual rewrite of it and judge them as separate entities. I do hope as this goes on I am able to capture your interest with this version of the story.(I'm assuming you meant that one when you said previous fic)
- Chapter 2 -
Peter Kim: Kiryu's Deck is more of a Raider deck then a Pure Raidraptor Deck so he has some Phantom Knight supports that he can use against Non Extra Monsterse along with his other tech cards. Kaito is more of Yuma's Rival so I don't know if Kiryu will fight him.
QueenOfNiii: Ultimate Falcon wouldn't be appearing in the story until at least the WDC Finals.
-Chapter 3-
Trinix8: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
QueenOfNiii: For now we will be keeping the Number. But depending on who Kiryu ends up paired with he will take them under his wing and mentor them as a Duelist. So Anna may get the Number back later on.
Peter Kim: While a Vector vs Kiryu Rank Up battle would be interesting to see, Vector will be Yuma's Barian Rival, while Kiryu's will be Alito. So if I do have a Rank Up match it would be between Alito and Kiryu. Kiryu is slightly holding back for now, he won't go into the high rank monsters until near the WDC Finals. He won't fight Dr. Faker during the final confrontation but he will fight someone else who merely just fell in the original canon. As for Wise Strix Kiryu will have a future summoning mechanic that only he and his girls will have access to. As for which one it is... well you'll have to find out.
Veta Takomoro: Glad you liked the chapter and that you liked the Duel. I was trying to write Anna as more of a Tsundere character, since I felt that trope would fit her character but I seemed to have accidently written a girly one. I guess I still need to work on that.
-Chapter 4-
HectorFenyx: Gracias
Glavie165 Poof... You Wish Has Been Granted!
Guest: Glad your liking it. Kiryu will not have Dark Rebellion or Dark Requiem, But Arc Rebellion may be a different story.
QueenofNii: Giggidy
AmanoRyo: Never noticed all those innuendos in the episode before until I deeply analyzed it, but glad you loved it.
Peter Kim: Well you will see in the chapter.
- Chapter 5 -
Joshiro99: Fret not my friend, Kiryu is indeed dueling again for the next few chapters, it was merely dumb luck that the last two chapters were Yuma focused duels, as I felt both were to important to him to give to Kiryu. All of his Monsters have sentience, but not intelligence.
QueenofNiii: Possibly, Quite Possibly.
Guest: It will rotate between Yuma and Kiryu depending on the situation, the last two were important to Yuma, now Kiryu will be dueling for the next several chapters.
AmethystEspeon: Kiryu is more of a Deuteragonist to Yuma in this story then a Protag. But while having a bit of a slow start, be will have a bunch of rapid fire duels from here on out.
HectorFenyx: (If google translate is right) Mi placer
-MISC-
Blue trooper
I'll admit my pacing could have used some work, I'm actually planning to go back and trim out some of the useless fat so to speak in the fic and fix things where it could be better. As for the Fiend Eagle thing I actually did not get that wrong it was the version I used which probably confused you. Fiend Eagle's official is "You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, then target 1 face-up Special Summoned monster your opponent controls; inflict damage to your opponent equal to its original ATK on the field. You can only use this effect of "Raidraptor - Fiend Eagle" once per turn." BUT Fiend Eagle's Anime effect is "Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card, then target 1 Special Summoned monster on the field; inflict damage to your opponent equal to its ATK."
I was using the Anime version of its effect at the time like I do most if not all of my cards in the fic unless they were TCG/OCG exclusive. The only mistake that was probably true was dealing 1400 Damage when it was supposed to do 1600, and as for Yuma and Kiryu easily becoming buddy buddy as you put it, that wasn't very out of character for Yuma as many of the people in Zexal he does become friends with just after their first meeting or duel.
Kenrio
Well... Thank you for that lovely...rant. I guess I will try and address some points.
First, Anna was Never originally In Love with Yuma, she merely THOUGHT she loved Yuma. It was a case of mistaken Identity with another boy named Yuya Tsukune (Kumo Tsuyuma). Anna didn't start to get any feelings for Yuma until after their first duel at the start of the WDC. Anna accepted the duel because she wanted to use it as practice before fighting Yuma, and in here OC used foreknowledge manipulation to take the duel place of Yuma to start a potential long game love interest with Anna. As for Kotori's OC feelings, they aren't love feelings, just hero crush feelings from when he saved her from being crushed during the events of chapter 2. I was trying to write an open ended love interest for both Anna and Kotori between the OC to decide which one or both I would pair with officially by Zexal II, but simply put I SUCK at writing romance.
AN 1: So I decided to change the Main Pairing of the story to an OCxLuna one basing their relationship off of Sakura and Syaoran's from Cardcaptor Sakura where they start off as Number Hunter rivals and eventually grow close into a romantic relationship. I have started a poll on my profile for the pairing options for the other girls.