Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

A/N: Finally, another chapter finished. The next few chapters will take place at the Ichijouji residence.

Following the Footsteps of Destiny

Chapter 158: Through the Eyes of a Child

Ken Ichijouji

Odaiba, Japan, Earth

Time seemed to have come to a complete standstill for Ken as he sat crumpled up on the floor in front of the door to his son's bedroom, his forehead pressing lightly against its smooth, dark surface. He wasn't quite sure how long he had been sitting there, but in his heart it seemed as if he had been waiting there forever, or if time had indeed stopped flowing, perhaps he had only been living the nightmare that appeared to have swallowed him whole for moments instead of years. And yet, if that were true then why did his heart feel as if time were slipping away from him?

Sam hates me. My own son...He truly wants to forget I'm his father...

As much as he didn't want to believe his own miserable thoughts, he knew they were true, and he had no one to blame but himself. If he could have only found the courage to tell Sam the truth, then perhaps he wouldn't currently be sitting on the wrong side of his son's door looking absolutely pathetic.

I wish I only had to worry about my eldest son, but it's not just Sam. What about Miya and Nao?

Considering the time of day, the upstairs hallway seemed unusually quiet. Normally, after supper, his children would be in their rooms doing their homework, or in Miya's case talking on the phone, and if they didn't have homework, they would be doing something else they actually enjoyed to pass the time. Quite often they would have some of their friends over, and the sound of laughter could be heard quite frequently from above the first floor until it was time for everyone to leave and for his children to go to bed, but unfortunately at the moment, that was most definitely not the case. Although it pained him to admit it, at this point in time, the only thing he could hear was the sound of Sam's soft sobs coming from the other side of the door. As for Miya and Nao, he wasn't surprised to discover that neither one of them had attempted to follow him. After what they had just heard, both of them probably didn't want to come anywhere near him, and truthfully, he couldn't blame them for their way of thinking. Most likely, their feelings were similar to the way Sam felt at the moment, and as a result it was probably going to take a while before they finally found a way to trust him again.

That is, if they ever decide to forgive me.

Hot tears suddenly stung Ken's deep blue eyes, and he quickly covered his face with his hands in an effort to calm himself. Truthfully, he wanted to cry, but for some reason he couldn't summon the will to do so because he knew if he did the tears would never stop flowing. It would be so easy to lose control, but if he allowed himself that privilege he wasn't quite sure he would be able to find the courage to pull himself together again. If that happened, he would lose even the slightest chance he had of somehow getting through to his son.

Sam, I love you. Isn't that enough?

Every sob Sam uttered felt like a needle piercing through Ken's heart, and eventually the pain became so fierce he had to cover his ears to block out the sound of his son's misery. Like Miya and Nao, Yolei hadn't tried to venture up the stairs either, and in her case he could understand why she had decided to remain in the foyer. Obviously she had come to the conclusion that there was nothing she could do to help at the moment, and she seemed to feel this was something he needed to do on his own. She couldn't make Sam forgive him. Only he could find a way to make that happen.

Miya and Nao looked so shocked. I bet they're still standing in the foyer with their mouths hanging open. I hope Yolei has at least found a way to calm them down a little bit, but if they feel the same way Sam feels...

More than anything, he wanted Yolei by his side, but he knew she was right when it came to what he needed to do. She would do everything she could to support him, but when it came right down to it, this was something he needed to do for himself.

But, I've never been strong like Davis...

"Sam?" he whispered through the door, knowing full well that his son probably couldn't even hear him. "Sam, please...don't do this. I can't lose you..."

"Daddy?"

Ken winced at the sound of Nao's soft voice coming from somewhere off to his left and he turned to see his younger son staring at him with wide, frightened eyes. Nao was standing at the end of the hallway and he looked a bit hesitant, as if he couldn't decide whether to come closer or to make a run for the stairs. Despite his uncertainty, though, there was a hesitant smile on his face and his gaze kept shifting anxiously towards Sam's door. Feeling both embarrassed and ashamed, Ken once again leaned the back of his dark head against the door and squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look into his younger son's deep blue eyes. "Nao..."

Are you going to reject me, too, just like Sam?

"Daddy, Sam's really upset, isn't he."

"Yes, he is. I'm...I'm sorry, Nao. It's my fault for causing so much trouble."

"But...you didn't do anything."

Ken's eyes flew open, and jerking his head up in surprise, he turned to gaze at his younger son in astonishment. "Nao, I..."

"Sam is the one who's being mean to everyone. I know he's sad, but...I still don't think that's a very good reason to go around hurting other people."

"But...but, Nao, you heard what Sam said. I used to be the Digimon Emperor. He has every right to be angry. I deserve nothing less for the way I acted in the past."

Frowning slightly, Nao slowly came towards him, making him jump in surprise, and without a word the young boy lowered himself to the ground, his back coming to rest gently against Sam's bedroom door. Unable to speak, Ken stared blankly at the wall in front of him, and after a moment of uneasy silence, he felt Nao snuggle under his arm, the lavender-haired boy's small body a comforting presence. At first, neither one of them spoke, but after what seemed like forever, Nao finally gazed directly into his eyes and gave him a solemn look. "You did some terrible things, Daddy."

"I know. Trust me, Nao, I know and I've been paying for it ever since."

"I understand why Sam is so upset, and I don't think it's wrong for him to be sad and angry, but I'm scared it's making him miss what really matters."

"What...what do you mean?"

"If you can't learn to forgive others for their mistakes then that makes you weak," Nao said softly. "At least, that's what Mommy always says, and I don't know about Sam, but I want to be strong like Mommy. Maybe not everything always has to be forgiven, but if you don't forgive the people you love, the one you end up hurting the most is yourself."

Ken stared at his small son in shock and felt his heart skip a beat. "You...you really believe that?"

"Davis, Kari, T.K., and Cody forgive you, so why should we be any different? Some of them might have had a little trouble at first, but in the end, they were able to look past your mistakes, which makes them all really strong, too, just like Mommy. If your friends and the digimon who were affected directly by the bad things you did can forgive you then the rest of us have no right to hold your past against you. Mommy thinks so, too. Those were her words. I just switched them around a little."

"He's right, Ken," a voice said softly from the entrance to the hallway.

Minomon!

Ken turned just in time to see his partner leap directly into his lap, and letting out a soft sound of despair, he hugged the little digimon tightly against his chest. With all the commotion, he had almost forgotten about Minomon, and even though he still wasn't used to having the little digimon with him in the human world again, he still couldn't help feeling slightly ashamed of his failure to remember someone so close to him. He assumed Minomon hadn't tried to follow him earlier for many of the same reasons as Yolei, but being a naturally curious digimon, Minomon's desire to help seemed to have become too much for the little digimon to ignore.

"Nothing will change the way Sam feels. Nothing."

"If that's true then Sam has become someone I don't even know anymore," Nao said miserably. "My big brother would never hold a grudge."

Resting his cheek against Nao's lavender hair, Ken took a deep breath and gave his son's shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Nao, do you hate me?"

"Why would I hate you? You're my daddy. You might have done some bad things, but I know you have a good reason for becoming the Emperor, even if it wasn't the right thing to do. If we always think about the sad things that happened in the past then the future won't be any fun at all. Daddy, no matter what happens, I'll always love you, just like you love me."

Overcome with emotion, Ken hugged his small son as tightly as he could and he quickly brushed away the tears in his eyes. "Thank you, Nao. I was so afraid I'd end up losing all of you, but now you've given me hope. T.K. would be proud."

"Don't you see, Ken? If Nao can forgive you then there's no reason why Sam and Miya won't eventually feel the same way," Minomon insisted.

Ken glanced anxiously at his small partner and nervously brushed his fingers over Nao's lavender hair. "How is Miya doing?"

"She's sitting in the living room with Yolei. She hasn't said much of anything but I think it's because she might be in shock. At the moment, Yolei isn't even trying to talk to her."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Yolei probably wants me to talk to her."

"I thought so, too, and I also think she feels Miya needs a little bit of space right now to work things out for herself."

"Mommy didn't even try to stop me from coming up here," Nao said thoughtfully.

Ken let out a soft sigh and allowed himself a faint smile. "It's probably because she knew you would say the right thing."

"She didn't say it in so many words, but I could tell she wanted me to come up here," Minomon said seriously. "I think she was hoping I would act as her spy."

Even though he still felt like his heart was being ripped in two, Ken couldn't help himself from bursting into a quiet fit of laughter. That was so like Yolei. Even though she clearly felt this was something he needed to do for himself, she still couldn't help interfering at least a little bit.

That's one of the reasons why I love her so much.

"It's still a little too early yet to tell how Miya really feels, but I'm sure she'll come around, just like Nao. She doesn't seem mad. At least, I don't think she does. That's a pretty good sign, don't you think so?" Minomon asked hopefully.

Ken frowned and slowly shook his head. "I'm not really sure. Only time will tell, I guess. And even if she does miraculously forgive me, that isn't going to help much when it comes to Sam. I doubt he'll listen to her either."

"Daddy, can I ask you something?" Nao said shyly.

"Of course. What is it, Nao?"

"Well, I was just wondering...how can you expect Sam to forgive you if you can't even forgive yourself?"

Shocked by such an insightful observation coming from a seven year old, Ken stared at his son in astonishment, and to his embarrassment he felt his face heat up. "You're right, Nao. If I don't believe there's a chance I can make up for my mistakes then I don't deserve to be forgiven. How will Sam ever believe in me again if I can't even believe in myself?"

"Of course he's right," Minomon said happily. "Yolei and I have been trying to tell you the same thing all along. You used to believe it, I know you did, but ever since you found out your son is a Digidestined, it's like you've forgotten everything you used to have faith in. Don't give up now, Ken, not when Sam needs you so much."

"Daddy, will you tell me the Emperor's story?" Nao asked quietly. "We've heard bits and pieces along the way, but I want to hear the whole story from you."

Ken slowly got to his feet, and reaching out his hand, he quickly pulled Nao up beside him. "Why don't I tell you the story downstairs? I'm sure Miya will want to hear it, too."

"But...what about Sam?"

Ken smiled sadly at his older son's bedroom door and shrugged his shoulders. "When he's finally ready to hear what I have to say then I will tell him everything he wants to know. Until then, I'll just have to keep believing I can find a way to get through to him."

I won't lose you, Sam. I swear, no matter what it takes, I won't let you drift away from me, even if it takes forever to finally reach your heart.

With that thought in mind, Ken forced himself to perform one of the hardest things he had ever had to do in his entire life. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to turn his back on his son's bedroom door and he quickly hurried towards the stairs, not daring to look back for fear he would lose his nerve. His heart was screaming at him not to leave, but he knew this was something he had to do, at least for the moment.

I love you, Sam. Don't ever forget that...

"Daddy, do you hear something?" Nao suddenly asked curiously, nodding his head towards the stairs.

"I think there's someone at the door," Minomon piped up.

Straining his ears to listen, Ken was surprised to discover that there was indeed someone pounding on the front door, and holding Minomon tightly in his arms, he quickly made his way down the stairs, his other hand taking comfort in Nao's small grip. He reached the bottom step just as Yolei opened the front door, and to his complete astonishment, his wife was nearly trampled by Daichi, Ryoko, Mickey, Matty, and Takara.

"Where's Sam?" Mickey demanded, untangling himself from Yolei's arms and glancing frantically around the foyer.

Nao smiled sadly at the older twin and chewed anxiously on the sleeve of his striped blue shirt. "He's upstairs."

"Being a complete idiot, I assume," Dai groaned.

Ken gazed calmly at his son's five friends, but deep down inside he felt like his heart was going to explode. "I take it you five know the truth, too?"

Dai glanced at him, but to his complete surprise, the goggle-headed leader didn't look at him any differently than he normally would have. "We know. I take it Sam told you he knows you were the Emperor?"

Startled by such a blunt question, Ken hesitated before slowly nodding. "Yes, he told me. At the time, I was under the impression Miya and Nao didn't know, but they do now."

"Well, that's one thing out of the way," Ryoko said weirely. "I hope they're taking it better than Sam did."

"I don't care what the others think. I forgive Daddy," Nao said loyally.

Mickey beamed at the young, lavender-haired Digidestined and pulled him into a fierce hug. "Nao, you really are amazing."

"Hello, Ken," Takara said softly, giving him a hesitant smile. "Do you mind if we sit down and talk to both you and Yolei for a bit?"

"We're going to anyways, even if you say no," Matty informed him. "We kind of want to hear the Emperor's story from you and we also want to know what has happened with Sam."

"Well, you're just in time. Nao also wants to hear about the Emperor from me so I might as well tell everyone all at once. Why don't we all go sit in the living room. In exchange, I'd like to hear about what happened in the Digital World today, and I'd like to know how Sam found out the truth."

"That's also partly why we came here to talk to you," Palelymon said shyly from Mickey's arms.

"Ken, are you okay?" Yolei asked anxiously, sending Minomon a meaningful look. "How is Sam doing?"

Ken gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, considering I haven't seen him since he slammed his bedroom door in my face, I think it's pretty safe to say he doesn't want to talk to me right now."

"Ouch," Matty muttered, wincing at the news.

"I know the feeling," Ryoko murmured.

Ken glanced curiously at the golden-haired Digidestined, but before he could answer, Yolei flung herself into his arms and let out a soft moan. "Oh Ken, I'm so sorry. I know it's hard, but it won't be like this forever. We'll find a way to make him understand, I promise."

"That's what we're here for," Mickey interrupted, looking more determined than Ken had ever seen him before. "Let's go sit down. We'll deal with Sam later."

"You can be sure of that," Dai muttered, frowning at the stairs.

Ken allowed his wife to pull him towards the living room and he stopped short when he spotted Miya sitting on the beige sofa. At the sound of an unusual amount of footsteps heading towards her, she slowly lifted her head, and Ken found himself gazing directly into her amber eyes. Her expression was hard to read, but like Minomon had said earlier, she didn't look like she was angry. Instead, she merely stared at him as if she couldn't decide how she was supposed to be feeling at the moment.

"Hey, Miya," Takara said softly, taking a seat beside the older girl and giving her a warm smile. "How are you feeling?"

"So, the rest of you all know the truth, too, huh? I'm...I'm not really sure right now."

Instead of replying, Takara wrapped her arms around the other girl's shoulders and gave her a tight hug. "Ami and Noah are really worried about you."

"They would be, wouldn't they," Miya murmured, her lips twitching into a small smile.

Feeling nervous, Ken hesitantly took the seat on his daughter's other side, and to his complete surprise, she didn't try to move away from him. It wasn't much, but it did make him feel at little bit better, even if it didn't necessarily mean anything.

"Ken, why don't we tell you what happened in the Digital World first and then you can tell us your story," Dai said calmly, settling himself on the carpet between Ryoko and Matty. "You deserve to know how this all came about."

"I think that sounds like a great idea," Yolei said softly, curling herself into an armchair with Nao. "I'd also like to know what happened, and I'm sure Miya does, as well."

Ken glanced hesitantly at Takara before turning to look at the four boys sitting in a row on the floor next to Yolei's chair. Despite everything that had happened, not a single one of Sam's friends was staring at him like he was the enemy.

Finding a small spark of courage he didn't know he had, he managed to give Dai a quick smile. "I'd like that."

Maybe, just maybe, whatever they have to tell me will help me find a way to get through to Sam...