Light mature content warning.

Paul

Here I am, again. These four walls. Fuck. I lay on my bed, tossing a soccer ball into the air. I distract myself with thoughts of how amazing it felt to nuzzle against her in my wolf form; her fingers running through my fur as if it were absolutely nothing to touch me. It wasn't nothing to me. It was fucking everything.

Yet, showing her my wolf form did nothing to put her at ease when she learned that I am in love with her. I don't really know what I was expecting from her.

'Oh, hey. I know I met you yesterday but I'm kind of a beast and I'm in love with you.'

What was she supposed to say to that? 'Great! Let's get married?' Right... Idiot.

To say my dad was pissed when I arrived home in the late afternoon, hours after departing, is an understatement. I thoroughly got my ass handed to me. Dad's bluffed before about forcing my 'free-loading ass' to pay rent but he's never enforced it. That's all changed now. It's not cheap either. He wants $450/month. Man… I was going to save up and buy a car. This sucks.

Of course, despite being a paying tenant now, I was sent to my room to resume my grounding. Sam wants me on patrol tonight so I'll be sneaking out around midnight. As much trouble as I'll get in if caught sneaking out, my instincts will not allow me to disobey my Alpha.

This is so fucked up. I can't believe Jacob ran away. At least he has a home with dad who is nice to him.

Boohoo, Bella Swan doesn't love me. Waaa.

Wimp...

Maybe I should take off to live in the woods as a wolf full-time… It'd be so much easier than putting up with this crap… except, now I can't… Because of her. Because now my spirit will not allow me to give up my human form… Because I need her.

I lose my concentration and the soccer ball gets away from me, bouncing on the floor and then rolling away. I'm too lazy to go get it. I yawn.

Telling Rachel everything was a mistake. I thought that maybe just doing it quickly — like pulling off a band-aid — would be better than trying to woo her. She'd already made it clear she was not interested in a guy like me. The age thing is a big deal for her. I was just hoping she wouldn't care so much about my age if she knew the truth about me. I was wrong. It's even worse now because she's weirded out by the imprinting thing. That's two strikes against me. Fuck!

I'm not giving up. I have three weeks until she leaves for Seattle. All I can do is keep trying to win her over… somehow. Maybe I'll write her a poem or something. Girls like poems, right? Ugh. I sound so pathetic. I want to kick my own ass.

I yawn again. As exhaustion sets in, I close my eyes but all I can dream about is her.

In my dream, she is mine. We are together at First Beach. It's dark, apart from the glow of a bonfire that burns further down. We're not alone. I can see some of the pack gathered near the fire while others are kicking a soccer ball near the driftwood.

Us? We're lying together on a quilt.

It's one of those dreams where I am fully aware that it's a dream. Sam likes to call them spirit dreams. He believes that they carry some kind of message and that we should pay attention to them.

Jacob is in this dream too. He's with a young girl, further down the beach, but I cannot see her face. They're too far away but he's smiling at her and seems happy. When I return my attention to Rachel she is smiling up at me and I am instantly filled with warmth and love. It feels right, like everything I've ever wanted.

"Thank you," she tells me softly, running her fingertips over my forearm. I glance down, watching her graze me. Everything is so vivid; I can feel her touch. I want more.

"For what?" I whisper, afraid that if I speak too loudly I will wake myself up.

"What?" she laughs softly, "you're going to make me say it?"

"Yes," I reply. Otherwise I won't know.

Outside of the spirit dream, my phone buzzes in my pocket.

Fuck. No! Come on. Don't wake up.

"Thank you for what?" I ask urgently, before I am torn away from her.

"Stop," Rachel giggles and swings her leg over my hip. She pushes me onto my back.

Before I can ask her what she is thanking me for again, her lips brush against my earlobe and I am frozen in ecstasy. My eyes roll back; it feels so good. So real. I want more.

I place my hands on her thighs. She is wearing a pair of tiny red shorts and I can feel her skin. She's so soft. I want her closer.

My phone buzzes again.

Whoever is calling better fuck off.

I slide my hands over her hips and squeeze her beautiful curves, pulling her closer; her hips onto mine. "Tell me," I swallow.

She doesn't answer me. Her lips migrate from my ear to my neck where she presses warm kisses along my jugular. I'm sure she can feel my pulse banging against her lips; or she would if this were real and not just a dream. Then her hips begin to gently rock against mine and I lose my train of thought entirely. All I care about at this moment is getting closer, holding her tighter… and seeing where this goes.

"Paul," she whispers in my ear, "I need you."

Oh god.

My phone buzzes.

My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it in my ear. I need to get it together. Why is she thanking me? Is this a clue to how I can win her over? I try to ask her one more time but my voice no longer works. No! The vividness of the dream begins to falter and I can barely feel her anymore.

Then… it's over.

Fuck!

I wake up furious. Not just because it was possibly the best dream I have ever had — as evident by my incredibly painful erection — but whatever meaning I was supposed to take away from the spirit dream was lost on me.

My phone buzzes.

I growl, digging into my pocket and pull out the vibrating annoyance. I curse myself for not having turned it off before I fell asleep. I flip it open, prepared to berate Quil or Jared or whichever other asshole I know who has my number...

Rachel Black
Incoming call…

What?

A lightning bolt of pure joy and excitement rips through me.

"Rachel!" I answer the call, sitting up so quickly I get a headrush — obviously, there isn't any blood left in my head.

My heart's still pounding from the intense dream. I panic and grab a pillow from my bed and drop it over my lap as if she will know — through the phone — that I am sitting here with a giant hard-on.

"Uh. Hi… I kinda did something stupid and I need you to bail me out," Rachel says softly. There is a bashful humility to her voice. "Can you come over? And hurry?"

"Yes," I reply without any questions, "I'm on my way."

By the time I make it to the forest's edge, and the Black house comes into view, I am perplexed as to what I am looking at. I see Billy Black sitting in his chair in front of the house with his arms crossed tightly against his chest while Rachel is standing on the roof with her hands on her hips. They appear to be having a strained discussion.

I phase back to my human form with ease this time and pull on the pair shorts I had fastened to my leg earlier. I walk towards the house. Rachel notices me, her hands fall from her hips and her eyes travel, darting from my chest down to my abs. Is she checking me out? Hello. My brow flicks up and I grin at her which causes her to immediately look away.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Rachel swallows.

"You said hurry!" I call up to her and stop. I glance between her and Billy.

"And there was no time to put on a shirt?" Rachel grumbles, seemingly annoyed by my exposed upper body.

"I ran here," I reply. "Look, it's just easier to pack light if I'm on all fours. What happened? Why are you up there?"

"Hah," Billy chortles, "my brilliant daughter decided she needed to check out the water damage on the roof and used that window to get up there," Billy says pointing to a window on the east side of the house. "Two scholarships and a university diploma," he snorts.

"Thanks, Dad," Rachel mutters, sarcastically.

I glance to the window. There is no way to get back inside from that angle.

"Okay. Well, do you have a ladder?" I ask Billy, refraining from commenting on how dumb this was. Billy has communicated that clearly. I don't need to pile on. However, I know that if it were anyone other than Rachel, I would have.

"In the shed," he points towards a rotted out old structure behind the house.

I nod, making my way to the back and walk inside. There's junk everywhere, the floors are dirt and it smells like mouse shit. Fortunately, the ladder is on the wall so it doesn't take much time to locate it. I pull it down from the nails which it hangs from and bring it to the side of the house that makes most sense for her to get down safely.

"What are you doing? Why are you putting it all the way over there?" Rachel asks.

"There is no way for you to get down where you are. This is better," I explain.

"I can't go all the way over there, Paul. The roof is rotted and the shingles are loose," she explains, staying where she is.

"You'll be fine. Just crawl if you're worried," I suggest.

"No!" Rachel replies stubbornly.

I exhale and look between Rachel and Billy.

"Don't challenge her, we'll be here all night. I know my daughter. She is stubborn as a mule," Billy grumbles.

"Okay…" I expel an exasperated sigh and pick up the ladder and walk around the house to where Rachel is. I set it against the side of the roof in front of her. She doesn't move, "what's wrong now?" I ask her.

"This is a bad idea. Is there another way to get down?" Rachel asks.

"What? Another way down-" I trail off, shaking my head and become annoyed. "There are two ways down, Bird. You can climb down this ladder or fly... Can you fly?"

Rachel stares at me, "I didn't call you over here to be a smartass!"

"Kids," Billy sighs in response to our bickering and then looks to me, "can we just get her down?" he says and points to the clouds. "Another storm is going to roll through here any minute."

I look up at the blackening sky.

"This is stupid," I pick the ladder back up and put it where I originally had it, "I'm coming up to get you."

"I'm not going over there!" Rachel huffs.

"Yes you are," I reply, climbing up the ladder. I reach the top of the ladder. "Come on. It's not that far."

"No," Rachel shakes her head and sits down right where she is.

"Are you for real? Stand up and get over here!" I shout at her. I feel my capacity to remain calm start to dwindle. "Come on, it's like 8 feet. It's not that far."

Rachel dramatically rolls her eyes at me and I feel a flare of anger. I force myself to breathe deeply before this feeling gets out of my control. I am aware that my calming breaths sound unusual and tremulous.

"What's wrong with you?" Rachel asks in response to my breathing.

"You're pissing me off!" I shout at her.

Thunder cracks and echoes through the ether. Rached turns her head towards the darkened sky.

Billy claps his hands together, "Girly, those clouds are rolling in fast. Let's go."

"Fuck," Rachel mumbles from between tight lips. Finally, she gets to her feet and starts making her way cautiously towards me. She is decisive in her steps, sometimes testing how sturdy the shingles are with her toes before taking a full step. I reach out my hands for her to give her something to hold onto.

"You're almost there," I encouraged her, my anger having now vanished as my focus on getting her to the ground safely has elevated with the sound of booming thunder through the terrain.

Rachel's hands grip onto my forearms tightly. She exhales a shaky breath. A little smile of relief comes to her lips and her eyes connect with mine. I am filled with so many emotions right now. Relief being the greatest. As our eyes stay locked I know that we're sharing in the exact same moment together.

"What now?" she whispers.

"Oh," I swallow and move down the ladder to give her room.

"Paul!" she gasps and grips my arms tighter when I take a step down without warning.

"You're okay," I reassure her. "Put your foot here," I nod to a rung on the ladder.

"I can't," her voice trembles as she stares down at the ground, below. Her shaking hands are gripping my arms so tightly that her knuckles are white. She's scared.

"Hey, Bird. Look at me," I say to her softly so only she can hear.

She looks into my eyes.

"Don't be scared," I slide one arm around her ribs, securely, "I won't let you fall, okay? I promise."

She doesn't reply. She just nods and lowers her right foot down onto the rung of the ladder I had directed her to. I hold onto her tightly for a moment while she calculates her next move. Toasted vanilla fills my nostrils, I feel guilty for enjoying the closeness of this moment considering she is so scared. Rachel's left foot slowly joins her other until she is no longer on the roof or needing my support.

I carefully retreat my arms so as not to startle her and make my way down the ladder. Rachel follows all the way down. Once on the ground, I help her off the ladder. I am hyper-aware of the way she lingers closely as though in a trance for just a few moments longer than needed. I want to pull her into an embrace but I also don't want to push my luck. So I take a step back from her.

"Good," Billy says and starts to wheel back to the house.

Rachel snaps out of it, "Dad! We're not done talking about this!"

"The hell we're not!" Billy goes inside.

Rachel follows him. I follow Rachel.

"And just what the hell are we going to do about all this?" Rachel asks, crossing her arms in the Black's kitchen.

I stay quiet. I have no idea what's going on.

"We?" Billy blinks, "we're not doing anything. You're going to Seattle. I'll take care of it. End of discussion."

"I'm not going to Seattle!" Rachel snaps at him.

I quickly look at her. My stomach does a flip. What? Am I hearing this right? She's staying? Excitement buzzes through my nervous system and I have to keep it cool to stop myself from grinning ear to ear.

"What are you talking about? Of course, you're going to Seattle!" Billy gruffs.

"No. The job fell through. I'm not going anywhere," she looks down.

Billy is silent for a few seconds, "oh. I see… I'm sorry, Girly," his voice softens.

"Yeah, well… whatever. It was a dumb job anyways," she mutters. "Now that I'm staying, I can see to it that the roof doesn't cave in on you while you're sleeping because if it does, it'll kinda kill me too."

Billy stares at her in silence.

I look between the father and daughter and see the resemblance; not just in their eyes and cheekbones but in their stubbornness.

"You better get up the stairs and close that window in the attic before it starts to rain," Billy grumbles and wheels his chair through the living room and into the only bedroom on the ground floor.

Rachel exhales and shakes her head. Her eyes find mine and she is startled as though she wasn't expecting me to still be here, "you can go now," she mutters.

I smirk, "I saved your life and you're not even going to offer me a cold glass of water for my heroics?" I ask, not even attempting to disguise my joy. She's staying!

Rachel clenches her jaw and walks over to the cupboard. She retrieves a glass, fills it under the faucet, and then slams it down on the counter. Some of the water sloshes out over the lip of the cup.

"Water," she mumbles, sliding the glass towards me.

"Doesn't look very cold," I reply, playfully.

Rachel stares at me with a grim expression and slides the glass back, "Unbelievable," she mutters to herself and walks to the freezer. She pulls the door open, mumbling incoherent profanities. Once retrieved, she violently slams the ice tray down on the counter, causing the cubes to jump, then plops three into my glass and slides it back.

"Ice," she mutters.

She's a little spitfire and I love it. I grin at her and drink the water.

"You enjoying that?" Rachel asks in a flat, stale tone.

"Mm," I nod, drinking down every drop until the ice cubes just remain, "very much so. Thank you," I reply with a smirk and put the empty glass down.

"Anything else I can get you?" Rachel asks, sarcastically with crossed arms.

A colorful box on top of the fridge catches my eye, "I'll take a Twinkie."

Billy rolls back into the kitchen. He's startled to see that I'm still here. He looks to his daughter, "Girly, did you get that window in the attic?"

"Oh," she uncrosses her arms, "yeah, I'm going now," she says walking to the stairs and looks back at me, "yeah, help yourself," she replies motioning to the Twinkies.

I grab one of the snack cakes from the top of the fridge and am met with a glare from Billy Black.

"What?" I ask, shoving the entire Twinkie into my mouth in one bite.

"Don't get any ideas, Lahote," Billy gruffs. "That Seattle job may have fallen through but I know my daughter. She's not going to stay here for anyone."

I don't reply. I just nod. I have too much respect for Billy to say we'll see about that… But… Yeah, we'll see about that.

The awkward silence between us is interrupted by a frustrated growl from the attic above. We both look up.

"Come on!" I hear Rachel grunt.

Billy shakes his head, "can you go and see what she is on about now?" he pinches the bridge of his nose and wheels back into the living room mumbling, "I swear, that girl…"

"Yep," I reply and head up the creaky old stairs. I glance to the left and see Jacob's bedroom door open. Clothes are thrown around everywhere. A wastebasket near his bed is overflowing with balled-up tissues. Gross. I doubt that's all from crying over Bella. Wow. If I kept my room like this, Dad would flip the fuck out.

I climb up the drop ladder that leads to the attic and glance around the dilapidated loft. It smells like rot. I never really noticed this before but Jacob's house is kind of a shack. I understand why Rachel is getting so worked up about it. This old place won't be liveable for much longer, then what's going to happen to her dad and Jacob? That is if Jacob ever comes back.

I look over to the corner where Rachel is. She's struggling to pull down the open window. She pushes down with all her weight, grunting and cursing a string of profanities I would have never expected from her pretty mouth, "fuck, shit, son of a bitch, fuck, fuck, fuck, cock," she curses.

"You've got a dirty mouth," I chuckle and walk towards her to help but stop dead in my tracks when she turns to look at me with a quivering lip and tears in her eyes.

"I can't get it shut," she sniffs, wiping her sleeve over her eyes when the tears drip down.

This isn't about the window.

"Okay. It's okay," I reply gently and go to her, "I'll get it," I move her aside and push down on the window. I don't want to force it but it's jammed pretty good. I jiggle it a little bit, "maybe some WD40?" I ask, afraid if I force it I'll break the wooden frame that's bloated from water damage.

Rachel exhales a shaky breath, "I don't know if we have any. I'll have to go to the hardware store. But it's already starting to rain," her voice trembles.

As luck should have it, the pitter-patter of rain turns into a heavy stream. It starts to pour outside. Shit.

"Fuck it," I grip the window and force it down with all my strength. Of course, it fucking slams shut and shatters which was not supposed to happen.

Rachel gasps and covers her mouth with both hands.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," I reply, feeling my face become hot, "ow, shit!" I hiss. I guess in my attempt to force it down I had inadvertently put my hand through the glass. Blood pools in my palm and then runs down my forearm.

"Paul!" Rachel's eyes widen, she grabs my arm.

"It's fine. It'll be fine, I heal really quickly," I assure her.

"You're bleeding everywhere!" she says, seemingly forgetting about what was upsetting her so much just moments ago.

"I just need to get the glass out. It'll heal right up," I promise.

"What happened? I heard glass break!" Billy calls up.

"We broke the window trying to get it shut!" Rachel calls down, "Paul cut his hand!"

"Oh… um... hey, Paul, don't sue us and I'll let you marry my daughter!" Billy shouts up the stairs.

"Dad!" Rachel scolds him and her face takes on a rosy hue.

I grin.

Deal!