It had started on the JBL and Cole show, this Bad News Barrett thing. Heath Slater hadn't thought much of it, found it kind of funny. Even when it had made it on TV and Wade had a podium and a gavel, his thick accent breaking through any silence and forcing everyone to listen. But that all comes to an abrupt end one morning. Heath's sprawled out in bed, fast asleep and comfortable under the warm sun pouring in through their curtains when Boodah whines and the bed shifts under him, Wade's beard scraping against his face as he presses a kiss to Heath's lips, waking him up. "Wha-?"
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news," Wade mutters into his ear, Heath's lips parting in confusion. "If you don't get out of this bed in the next five minutes, you're going to miss your flight and probably never get booked again, which will cause the inevitable break up of 3MB, and-."
Heath groans and squirms out from under the Brit, huffing. "Get- what the hell, man, you're going to do the bad news shtick on me now?" He rolls his eyes and shakes his hair out in agitation before storming off to the bathroom to get ready for his flight, eyebrows furrowing when he catches a glimpse of the clock and realizes that Wade's right. "Dammit..."
A couple of days pass and he thinks that it was a one time thing, but they're on the beach, Heath tanning with music pounding in his ears from the earbuds attached to his iPod, when a shadow drops over him and the earbuds are abruptly tugged out of his ears, startling him. He glares up at Wade, raising both eyebrows when he kneels down next to him. "I'm afraid I've got some bad news..." Heath collapses back against the sand, growling, when Wade continues to talk. "Boodah has a splinter in his paw-"
Heath's eyes shoot open and he pushes past Wade, rushing to check on his dog. "You couldn't just tell me that the regular way?" he grumbles, gently rubbing the pads of his fingers against Boodah's foot, finding it and carefully extracting it with Wade's help in holding the dog down.
"This is the regular way now, Ginger," he says, shrugging. Heath looks up with an exasperated stare but quickly turns his attention back to Boodah, rubbing his side once it's gone. "There you go, boy." They leave the beach shortly afterwards so Boodah can rest at home, his paw still a little sensitive, and Wade doesn't mention any other bad news for the rest of the night to Heath's relief.
But it's like a pesky thorn that won't quite go away. Heath's sitting in the living room, reading through 3MB's schedule for the next ten days when Wade joins him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and drawing him closer. Heath snuggles into his warmth, still focused on the paper, when Wade clears his throat. "I've got some good news-"
Heath closes his eyes and drops the papers onto his lap, tensing in Wade's arms. "Brit, I swear to God-"
"I'm going to have my first match back this Monday." Heath's protests die away as he examines Wade, his lips twisting thoughtfully. A competing Wade is a happy Wade, and a happy Wade means an easier time of it for everyone within five miles. "Have anything to say about that, hm?"
Heath smirks and drops his arms over his shoulders, staring at him. "Actually, yes. Congratulations, Brit. I'm happy for you. If anyone deserves it, it's definitely you." Wade leans closer and kisses him. "Hopefully you won't get stuck wrestling a bull any time soon." He rolls his eyes when Wade starts laughing, brushing the hair out of Heath's face. "Jerk."
"Now what kind of congratulations is that, calling me names?" He smirks, tapping Heath's lips.
"The exact same kinda congratulations you'd give me, if roles were reversed." He pinches Wade's side and chuckles as the Brit rolls his eyes, unable to argue with that.
A few days later, they're on an airplane, waiting for take off, when Wade leans in close to Heath. "I'm afraid I've got some bad news."
Heath's fingers dig into the armrest as he tries to ignore Wade, though he knows it's fruitless, even just the slight tease of his breath ghosting against Heath's sideburns enough to make him react. "What?" he finally hisses, staring straight ahead.
"The flight attendants are running low on peanuts, so no snacks for you."
Heath sits forward and slams his forehead against the seat in front of him, releasing a loud groan as Wade laughs behind him. "I hate you."
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news," he all but singsongs this time. "I know you're lying."
"I swear to God, Brit, I'm gonna staple your mouth shut if you don't stop it!" he hisses, turning to glare at the other man. But he falters in his anger when he takes in the happiness in Wade's eyes as he laughs at Heath's exasperation, unable to continue being grumpy when Wade looks like that, it being all too rare. "Idiot..."
The next time Wade throws some bad news his way, Heath is only truly half as annoyed as he pretends to be, fighting to hide his smile while Barrett looks utterly pleased with himself.