Sorry, trigger warnings for this entire story. It's supposed to be realistic, and, well, the Doctor kills and people die quite a lot. Also mentions suicide and other such triggers. Just a warning. I'm not good at these, sorry.
"Where to next?" The Doctor asked as we walked among the 2005 crowd, listening to the bustle of the crowds. I look around the area.
I tried not to show how exhausted I was as I answered, "If you want, since I know, do you want to meet the person you'll ask to join you twice?" I offered. He gave me a curious look.
"Do you want me to? You're not getting tired of me already, are you?" The Doctor joked. I frowned, shaking my head.
"Not my favorite person, not my least. Never met her and she seems like a handful, but, well. She's- did that mannequin just move?" I looked over his shoulder, and we both looked at the mannequin. It slowly stopped and pretended that it wasn't just moving. We glanced at each other, both scanning it at the same time with our sonic screwdrivers.
Glancing at each other, then at the other's sonic, we both put the sonic away in the same pocket. I blink at him. I mean, I did grow up on Doctor Who, but did I really pick up that many of his mannerisms?
"It's linked to…" We both then turn, take a step away from the other, and stare. I swallow, blinking, and reach up to scratch the back of my neck.
"Sorry. Go on. I uh. Yeah. Sorry. Continue," I said, stilted.
He gave me a curious look, "I'm imprinted on you," He noted immediately. I throw my hands up.
"So you can't tell a basic bitch from a normal person but you can tell if you've rubbed off on someone?" I asked dryly. He didn't even have the curtesy to look apologetic.
"How long have you known my life?" He asked.
"... Since I was… Like nine? Maybe ten? When I first started gaining my personality, anyway," I shrugged.
He frowned, "How much of you is my personality?" He asked curiously.
I hummed, actually thinking about it, "... I don't really have my own personality," I admitted, "It's mainly a mix of you and your companions. I just emulated you guys. I'm pretty… boring… So I just got used to being similar to you and others…" I shrugged, "Maybe I'll gain my own personality eventually…" I noted that the longer I had my sonic, the more Doctorish I was becoming, too. I guess the only thing truly me is my empathy, and my willingness to make others' happy because of it.
It's silent for a few moments before I speak again, "Anyway, mannequin moved again, and it's linked to a building nearby. Radio control?"
"Thought control," The Doctor said after observing me for a few moments, "All of human history and not one cure for depression. I'm sorry."
"S'fine, so… Mannequins moving, Autons? Do they have a singular conscious?" I asked, already knowing of the Nestene Consciousness. He gave me a curious look.
"Yeah. Autons, controlled by a Nestene Consciousness. Come on, let's find this smaller transmitter. Maybe we can find where the main transmitter is." We walked around town, me forcing the Doctor to eat a meal, before we continued.
"Why didn't you eat?" The Doctor asked curiously as we hung around the building we found, waiting for it to close before we entered into the basement.
"Not hungry," I muttered with a shrug, ignoring my stomach growl silently in protest, "I'm just making sure you eat every six hours. I set an alarm." I waved my phone before putting it back in my pocket. He gave me a look.
"Do you want to call anyone?"
"Don't have service," I mumbled, shaking my head. He gave me a look, seeing right through me as he grabbed my phone and took it apart, thankfully not taking anything out as he just sonicked the back of the phone. The SIM card? Probably not. He handed it back to me expectantly, and I unlocked it and frowned at my contacts.
"It'd call anywhere? Anytime?" I asked, and he nodded, "How does it know what time to use?"
"Phone's clock."
"Ah. Okay," I hit the dial key, and held it up to my ear. I listened, eyes not meeting anything as I stared blankly ahead of me.
"Hello?" A familiar voice rang out. I swallowed.
"H-hey, I just wanted to say happy late birthday…" I tried.
"Who's this?" The voice asked. I mentally grimaced.
"Guess, surely you remember one of your kids?" I asked, voice not rising in hope. It was just a coincidence that they had this same number.
"I don't have any kids, are you one of my husband's?" She asked patiently.
"Oh, sorry… Wrong number," I said lamely, hanging up and staring at my phone. Yeah. I knew that. I expected that, even. I'm honestly grateful. At least the her of this universe had no one to torment, really. I bit my lower lip harshly, just glaring at my phone. I sighed after a while and shook my head, smiling up at the Doctor, "Thank you."
"Why'd you call that number if it was a wrong number?" He asked curiously.
I shrugged, shaking my head, "It wasn't." I didn't offer any more, "Can't we just skip forwards a bit in time? Waiting for it to close seems like a hassle."
"Nah, it's more fun this way," The Doctor said happily. I nodded, looking at him from the corner of my eyes. He's more impatient than I am. Why was he doing this? What would he get out of it?
"Why do you want me to get another companion? Are you not enough?" He asked curiously. I shifted awkwardly. Despite not really liking the pairing, there was no denying that the ballsier Doctor said he loved her on that beach. To prevent the Doctor from healing was blasphemous. I was… Too broken to heal anyone. I stared at my hands absently, dropping them to my sides as I thought. The Doctor waited, observing my every action carefully.
"It's… not that I'm not enough," I lied gently, shifting as I get ready to tell an uncomfortable truth, "I… I'm the one who messed up your timeline, and… It's on my shoulders to put it back in order before something she can do but I can't comes up… And you… Suffer for it," I explained awkwardly.
"... You know of the adventure we're having right now, and you offered to show her to me. Is this the adventure where I meet her?" The Doctor asked casually. I frowned at Hendrick's, before going back to observing a happy couple on their lunch break. I crossed my arms even as I tried withholding my shock. Shit, really? There they were. The duo that separately became admirable badasses. Rose saves Donna anyway. This needs to happen for the Doctor's sake.
"Yeah. You'll really like her. A lot. She's… lively," I said offhand even as I tear my eyes away from the couple.
"What if I don't want another companion?" The Doctor asked.
I frowned, turning to face him, shoulder leaning against the brick wall we were hanging about, "The first few adventures don't require her, but the last few do. For example… The fourth adventure I know of for you. All of Earth dies without her. And the fifth adventure, … you'd be imprisoned without her. And the sixth, uhh well, I mean I'm unsure if it requires her. The seventh… Hopefully won't happen at all… The eighth brings on board another important companion because of her… And the entire universe is massacred if she's not there for the last," I listed, looking at my hands as I count, not counting the double episodes, "Huh. I only know nine adventures… I thought I knew more…" I sighed, shaking my head.
"Then we'll pick her up when we need her, drop her off back home when we're done," The Doctor offered. I looked up at the Doctor, before sighing and shaking my head.
"She grows with each adventure, and there are plenty of adventures you have that I don't know of." I observe the man before me, wondering what his deal was, and I thought back to every single bit of information on him I had.
Just came from war. Looking for friendship and acceptance. Deathly terrified of dying in a pathetic way. I frowned, eyebrows scrunching as I decided on a course of options.
"I'm oblivious. Just tell me what's on your mind, I don't get offended, promise," I demanded.
"Do you want to travel with me?" He asked, turning to face me fully.
I blinked, taking a few moments to reassure myself that he's not the type to joke about stuff like this. Not until Eleventh and River, anyway. I push off of the wall and observe him, eyebrows scrunched. Of course I did. Why would he think I wouldn't? I shook my head, opening my mouth, closing it, and trying again.
"Yes," I said simply, unable to get much more out, "I've just- Do you want me to travel with you?"
We both suddenly understood that the other was worried over the same thing and relaxed, laughing together.
"Yes," he answered after we finished laughing our nervous energy away. Oh man, that'd be a relief. I relaxed against the brick wall again in a slump, entirely too relieved to do much more than chuckle faintly.
"Good. Sorry, I'm not the best with… Existing really. People. Social...ness," I awkwardly apologized, "I'm an asshole sometimes, but I honestly don't intend to be… Sorry if I made it seemed like I didn't," I continued. I was about to say more but he tapped me on the head, and I blinked, grinning sheepishly up at his amused countenance. He looked less intimidating and wary suddenly, and I wondered if he was wary at me or at my actions the entire time. From what I knew he'd not really - ohhh! It suddenly occurred to me that this version of him rather liked one companion at a time. Wasn't that just because everyone Rose chose was a pretty boy? I blinked. Well, I did have a rather widely accepted "You're a Karen or you're lesbian" haircut. I frowned, messing up my hair, restyling it, and doing that over and over again with an increasing frown. I needed to cut it, make it even. It looked like shit, but whatever. My beanie was supposed to hide that part until it grew longer. I looked around, nodded to the Doctor and wandered away.
He watched me steal from an ATM, then walk into Hendricks, confused. When I came out wearing a red beanie he rolled his eyes. I handed the rest of the cash to an obviously not well-off person, before going back to our position.
"You should be more careful when doing that. Don't want to get caught," The Doctor warned.
"Oh, yes, I can see the headlines now, "Woman with terrible haircut Robin-Hoods after getting herself a hat to cover the monstrosity." Great. Nah, I'll just become the most-wanted after using my handy sonic to deactivate their tasers and bolting. Hopefully Sexy will unlock the doors for me if I'm being chased by cops. You'll have to save the day on your lonesome," I shrugged as I did a play-by-play of what would probably happen, "Or, more likely, I'll say I was playing with a laser pointer and free money came out of the ATM, so I got myself a hat and donated the rest."
The Doctor snorted, "Yeah, like that'll go down well."
I frowned, pulling out my phone and observing my tired but still adorable face. Round pinkish cheeks, small mouth, glowing eyes, yeah. I was cute. Like an innocent kid, I looked entirely harmless.
"Maybe not for Mr. Grumpy, but for an adorably innocent-looking me? Yeah. I'd get away with it. Have before," I admitted, "And that was American police. Do you know how unforgiving those fuckers can be? I managed to hug them after being an asshole, almost getting arrested, tased, and got a ticket. I think my innocent appearance can get me out of quite a fuck ton."
"Really?" The Doctor asked, "What's the story on that?"
"Oh. Two stories. I was caught trespassing, mouthed off to one of the cops, lied blatantly to their faces and got caught in the act. Asked one of them if they've been on Tinder, which was amusing. Tried covering for a sixteen year old, got both of us off with a ticket instead of her with arrest and me with a slap on the wrist. Thought she was fucking twenty-one, so I was pretty angry that she got us in trouble with alcohol. Then when the sixteen year old left I called one of the cops a cactus, managed to get a ride from them, and also hugged both of them as a goodbye and took a selfie with another," I shrugged with a grin, "American police, not a single one able to resist my puppy-like charm~," I snickered after I finished explaining.
The Doctor shook his head, "You're a magnet for trouble, aren't you?"
"Actually no. I, alone, haven't gotten caught unless I personally forced it to be that way," My eyes glazed over at the memory of the blinding flashlights sweeping the area, a single voice yelling orders at me. I still got off with minimal everything, but… "But this universe fucking has it out for me, bro. First the Alien of Doom™ was after me to try and eat me, then another Alien of Doom but not that Alien of Doom™ was after me, and in between future you demanded that I help you with stuff I am not prepared for at all, oh, and gravity hates me," I shake my head, "Then that entire adventure we just had. Like bro, you have breaks, don't you? I'd feel so bad for you if your life was just constant threat after constant threat. It'd be cool and fun but exhausting."
"There are breaks… When was your last break?"
"Uhhh, I suppose I had two hours of sleep between getting saved by you and getting woken up by future-you. So there's that break," I admitted, thinking, trying to ignore the pattern of the beams sweeping side to side that was playing over the scene I was observing.
"Hm," He's silent for a few minutes, "You said there were two times you met the cops. You only told me the first."
Crushing pill after pill, hands aching and freezing in the cold late November air. I glanced at the page, putting another tally mark. 250 Benadryl should be enough. Plus, it's not how I'm planning on dying anyway, I mused silently as I continued working, shivering. So cold…
"Ah, the second story is a bit dull, honestly," I lied, voice sounding odd to my own mind even though I recognized that it was just my normal tone. Why'd it sound so far away?
Cold… So cold… "It's really cold out," I admitted over the phone.
"Where are you? Can you tell me where you are?"
"Both inside and out… it's so cold…" I watch the soda fizz, waiting patiently for it to stop so I can drink it and finally have my peace. My plan is almost over. Just a few more minutes… It's so cold. I'm so cold.
"Oh, really?" He observed me, "Hm…" He said, disbelieving even as he let it go.
"I'm going to taze you! Put the knife down! I'm going to taze you!"
Then the pattern of flashlights. It took two hours to crush the pills. The bottle wasn't done fizzing. I needed more time… I blinked, crossing my arms and clearing my throat as I ignore the memories once more. Ah, good ol' PTSD. Damn nami-flashbacks, I joked to myself even as we both just stood observing the building. I shivered. Why was it suddenly so cold? My crossed arms found themselves clutching to my chest closer.
"Cold?"
"A bit."
I'm so cold… Everything will be over soon.
I frowned, shifting, "I'm bored. Do we have to wait?"
"Nah. Let's go," He said happily.
"Wha-why did we have to wait in the first place!?" I whined good-naturedly, a grin on my face as we bantered on the way back to the TARDIS.
"Felt like it," The Doctor said, voice teasing.
"Oh, felt like it, I'll show you what to feel like," I threatened jokingly, before snickering, "That didn't sound right, sorry."
He sent a grin my way and I grinned back. I'm glad he actually wanted me aboard, and that he wasn't just agreeing to my forced presence. I gave him a warm smile when he wasn't looking, doing a mental dance. Someone actually wanted to hang out with me! Yes! I grinned at myself. Amazing. My grin fell, but I still felt happy.
The Doctor rolled his eyes as I bowed and hugged the TARDIS again, "It's been four hours. I'm sure you didn't even have time to miss her."
"Whovianism customs. You always bow and hug Sexy before entering," I said sagely, with a wise nod.
He chuckled, shaking his head, "Isn't this going against your other religion, if you have any?"
"The Goddess of Stories won't mind my worship, as she is very lenient if the worship in question is towards something with a great many stories to tell," I nodded, "As the first worshiper of Whovianism, as she is your ship, would you take the time out of your day to convert?"
He rolled his eyes heavily, snorting, "No."
"Awe, come on, I bet she'll enjoy having more than one follower!" I tried.
"It is not sentient."
"Yes she is! Here, Sexy, surely you want to prove him wrong!" I flail wildly at the console. I feel a general sense of amusement, and my smile hasn't left since the conversation started. She was so enjoying the byplay. Suddenly, both of us away from the console, the TARDIS started flying, and I bowed deeply, going to my knee in the typical Knight's Bow. I stood up excitedly after the shaking stopped, pointing at the gaping Doctor, "Ha! Told you!"
"Wh-b-that's not possible!"
"She's grown! She's a living being!" I exclaimed even as we both walked out of the TARDIS. I paused, patting her exterior four times gently as a goodbye. The Doctor gave me a searching look, before turning to look at his TARDIS. We both ignored the snow on the ground as we observed the goddess before us. I bowed my head and smiled happily at her, "Thank you, Sexy. I am honoured by your actions."
"She… She's sentient?" The Doctor asked, awed as he stared at the TARDIS.
"It is my solemn duty to inform you of the perks of Whovianism," I said unironically, "For one, it is simply proper etiquette to lavish adoration on your TARDIS. For another, she might just grant you with something awesome, like, for example, an excellent adventure. As well as just deserving it for how great she is." I was about to continue but a hand covered my mouth.
"I'm not joining Whovianism."
"It's literally just giving her the proper respect!" I complained as I pushed his hand off of me.
"No."
"But-"
I was interrupted by a scream, and we both looked in seperate directions. We turned to look at each other, the Doctor giving me an amused look, "The scream came from that way," He pointed in the direction he looked. I looked that way, nodding.
"Okay. Continue this conversion to Whovianism later?" I suggested, holding out my hand to him.
He rolled his eyes, "This argument, sure."
We grinned at each other and ran towards the screams.