WARNING! MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING! BEWARE

I squeaked as I heard a crack, "My screwdriver!" I panicked, shit why'd I always get myself in these situations? First the Master, then the Angel, then… I dunno. Oh Sexy, I've already forgotten all that's happened to me. I groaned loudly, irritated.

"I'm genuinely rooting for the Dalek to escape and kill you, Van Statten," I called as I was lifted off my feet easily by the guard and carried to a room.

"Shut her up. We don't need to hear what she says until we torture her for future information," Van Statten says, and I sigh heavily. Fuck.

As tape was crudely placed over my mouth in a very ineffective way of shutting me up, I rolled my eyes and glared at a camera. Damn it, I was such a damsel in distress, wasn't I? How many times did the Doctor save me? Fifty-billion? … Five? Haven't we only known each other for like… A day and a half or something? I sighed. Well. No time like the present to think of that.

Zap.

Ow. All hail Sexy.

Zap.

First I was saved from the Master.

Zap.

That's annoying. Then I was-

Zap.

Then I was saved from homelessness, which counts, beca-

Zap.

Because being homeless in New York while being a-

Zap.

An obviously confused and young girl was a death-

Zap.

A death sentence. Then…

Zap.

Then…

Zap.

Ow.

Zap.

This hurts.

Zap.

It's really hard to ignore.

Za-

I fell on my face as the entire area shut down, the metal that was holding me in place automatically releasing themselves. I laid there for a moment, shaking body unable to do much else. I was pulled up, a gun put to my head as I was lead into a room with the emergency lights on. I was shoved to the ground, where four guns stayed trained on me. I didn't notice, still disassociated from the outer world due to the torture I'd been put through.

Oh! Then I was saved by the Doctor again when the Angel sent me into the past. Wait, no, the Doctor also saved me from internal bleeding. So it was The Master, internal bleeding, Homelessness, homelessness in the past, then it was… it was… oh, no wonder I didn't remember. I was blocking out the guilt. Okay. Then it was me saving myself, which I had to do too often before this entire mess happened…

"I need a diary. This is just getting confusing at this point," I muttered aloud even as I was dragged somewhere.

"Oh! You're back in the world of reality. Great. Run!" A familiar northern british accent called, and I stumbled as suddenly our pace tripled.

"Where did you go, if I may ask? La la land?" The voice of Charles called.

It was pitch black, and I couldn't see where everyone was, "Ah, memory lane. It was the only thing I could think of because of the torture."

"Well don't think of it now," Another familiar voice called. Chr- no, it was the Doctor and the British idiot.

"Oh, sor-ry that I was trying to keep my sanity, Alex."

"It's Adam."

"Fuck off, I was close," I muttered even as I ran faster, before stopping. The person pulling me along did his job well, and I was running again, "Shit! My sonic!"

"I've got it," The Doctor reassured from right next to me. I blinked. Was he the one dragging me? I thought it over even as we all rushed down stairs, ignoring Adam's complaints and worries. I mean. It made sense.

"We're going back to the box!" Charles yelled at Adam, "Hurry along you daft boy!"

"It's a TARDIS," The Doctor and I called in unison, neither of us hesitating in our words despite how odd that was, "Time and Relative Dimensions in Space!"

Suddenly the lights flared back on, and the shuffling of soldiers got faster. In the same, we were going as fast as our slowest member, Charles Dickens. I stumbled down a staircase, only the Doctor's hold keeping me from falling as I observed that Charles Dickens was fast at going down stairs, if not as fast when running.

"There they are!" A soldier yelled, and I squeaked as we all fell down the flight of stairs in a big pile as gunshots sounded out.

Surprisingly I was the first one up, and adrenaline helped me pull everyone up, checking for any injuries. None glaringly obvious, and hopefully none at all, I shoved them to keep moving and was in back with the Doctor as we ran. Adam was next to Charles, and we moved like a well-oiled machine even though the only people who'd done this before was the Doctor and I. Me due to the weird education that was phy-ed, and the Doctor because he's done this before.

We all crash into the TARDIS, whose doors opened when I snapped my finger. The doors slammed closed of their own accord once the Doctor and I entered, both trying to push the other in front of them, and ending in a tangled pile of two as the TARDIS flew of its own accord. I groaned from under a suspiciously light Doctor.

"Sexy, you need to eat more tacos," I groaned, the boney man rolling off of me and just laying next to me. I started chuckling, and everyone else pitched in, laughter echoing around the TARDIS.

Eventually we all got up and I opened the TARDIS doors to see that we were in a beautifully serene meadow that looked like it stretched for miles. Both Charles and Adam yelled at me for it, but the Doctor hushed me as I closed the doors, turning around only to violently flinch and accidentally catch something. I glanced at it to see a red book. I opened it, only to see blank pages. Looking up, confused, I observed the Doctor. He shrugged.

"You said you needed a diary," Was all he said. I nodded and thanked him as I put it in my pocket. I fumbled the next two things he threw at me, and grimaced at the two pieces of my sonic, "Ah. You just entrusted me with this like half a day ago… Really this just goes to show that I should never be trusted with something important, case in point that entire scenario was fucked.

"Did you save anyone?"

"Yeah. All of them. Well, technically us being here without Rose saved them all. I just saved like… Two people. Including you from torture, but I don't know, what if the Dalek escapes?" I worried. I didn't notice the Doctor's face show shock, before his expression went full Oncoming Storm. By which I meant I didn't see the shocked expression, just that he seemed pissed for some reason. I pouted just to make myself feel better, before seeing something next to the Doctor and gasping.

"Everest!" I cried happily, "O-m-g how could I forget about you? Ohmygod I'm so sorry," I rushed next to the Doctor, his expression unchanged, and was forced to stop as I passed him, a hand gripping my arm.

"You were tortured in my place on purpose?" The Doctor demanded.

I blinked, "Well… Duh. I said I'd take care of you, didn't I?" I forced my arm out of his grip and walked towards Everest and explained everything that had happened to me so far, happily filling in details and randomly adding in former or latter information a bit away from its time.

"Is she talking to a plant?" Adam asked.

"Oh! Right, newbies. It's proper form to bow and thank the TARDIS every time you enter and leave, because she appreciates it, and she just saved our asses, so," I tapped my chest four times, looking at the console, "All hail."

"All hail," Charles said, tapping his chest four times.

Adam, looked vaguely uncomfortable, but once nudged by me and stared at by Charles, not noticing the Doctor's pleading look, tapped his chest, "All hail… Is this really necessary?"

"Adam, buddy, friend, pal," I spoke, clapping a hand onto his shoulder, "She's sentient, and you've just been saved by her. Wouldn't you thank someone if they saved your life? Since she has all the powers of a true Goddess, I figured giving her due respect would be a good idea. I mean, you don't want to piss a goddess off, do you?"

"Uh, n-no…?" Adam asked.

"Great! Welcome to the Whovianism ways. Again, bow and thank the TARDIS every time you enter and leave, and every time you thank her, do so and then say "All hail" so she knows you understand that she didn't have to save you, but she did. Also, you know, tapping the chest four times since none of us have her symbol. Oh! Actually I'll be right back," I said, rushing off with Everest.

I ran down the first hall, turning a corner and paused at the only door in the dead end. I slowly walked in, unsure, only to see various necklaces with a blue TARDIS being printed off on metal sheets by… Was that a 3D Printer? Huh.

"All hail," I tapped my new thicker-silver necklace. It seemed a bit different from the others, which were just thin necklaces. Mine was at least a centimeter wide, and about half the thickness. It was also a shiny metallic silver while the others were muted grey. I'd happily give the golden one to the Doctor once he converted. It was a similar design. I hummed, looking at a piece of paper that printed out as I thought.

"Silver wheat necklace- Favoured Priestess of the Goddess

Golden wheat necklace- Favoured Theif of the Goddess

Grey cable necklace- Followers of Whovianism"

I nodded, bowing to the general surroundings, and grabbed the necklaces and rushed out, ignoring the production of more of the necklaces and the symbols out of the blue metal.

What a brilliant cult leader Sexy was, making her own pendants and stuff. I bet she already had a grand room prepared for her worship room, too. It wasn't even a bad cult, I bet Sexy was just allowing me to continue because it amused her.

I paused mid-hallway, eyes wide, "Favoured Priestess?"

My grin didn't fade even as I handed out the necklaces, frowning as the Doctor put his in his pocket. I mentally apologized to Sexy, tapping my pendant four times. As we were talking and laughing about a few different things, just relaxing and walking through the Planet of Meadows, as the Doctor called it and exchanging stories.

"So there I was, clinging to an iceberg, wonderin' how I'd get out of that situation…" The Doctor continued on but my mind wandered as I observed the flowery meadow.

This was all real. Like, actually, really real. I was on an alien planet with three people I've just met, one of which I just got tortured to try and save, and… I guess I should get to know them more, but… What about Rose? I paused. I mean, without her went just fine… Was she really necessary?

Autons, Slitheen, The Long Game, or, wait, no, it was Bad Wolf and the Parting of Ways, wasn't it? She's needed for Long Game… No, she really wasn't, was she? She was needed to get Jack. 100%. And… That's about it. Autons, Slitheen, Jack, Bad Wolf, and the Parting of Ways. Huh.

I picked at one of a flower's petals absently, tearing it into very very small pieces as I thought. I've been acting out, recently. I seem to have forgotten that I was just me… That… Is never a good sign. It usually leads to bad things… I sighed, tearing another tiny piece off of the white flower petal.

"Wait, so you're the Charles Dickens?" Adam's awed voice filtered into my thoughts even as I continued spacing out.

I should probably write a story or two. Get all of the excess energies out, maybe write everything down that I can. Reread it every day until it gets too big to read as a morning ritual… I sighed silently.

We walked for a few hours, making sure to stay within a mile of the TARDIS, visible on top of a nice hill, and soon enough all of us started yawning. The Doctor, also yawning, interrupted one of Adam's particularly deep explanations of what something was and how it worked to Charles and spoke to the group as a whole, "Maybe we should all get back to the TARDIS and rest."

"Yes, yes I do think so," Charles agreed immediately, mild confusion fading into relief, "Though, mayhaps we could have a bit of supper first?"

All of us besides Adam had bags under our eyes from general lack of sleep, having all stayed up way past the typical range of a day for us. My stomach took that time to pathetically, but loudly, agree to the idea of food.

Laughing and in a generally good mood, we all headed back to the TARDIS, three of the four of us bowing and tapping our pendants four times whilst the fourth rolled his eyes. I even gave her a hug before entering, and we all generally picked a hallway to walk down and started walking.

I tried keeping my smile up but it fell. Eh, whatever. We all sat in the kitchen, a small round table being there and a high counter with seats, like at a bar. We all sat at the counter, obviously. Adam, Charles, the Doctor, and me. Or, well, eventually me and the Doctor. We were both opening and closing drawers after the Doctor admitted that the kitchen reshuffled itself. I found some noodles that looked like they'd been there a while, "Uh… Spaghetti anyone?"

The Doctor paused, looking at the noodles suspiciously, like a college student who wasn't sure if something was safe to eat but not having anything else. The others agreed and the Doctor shrugged, nodding. We both started looking through drawers again.

"Why," Open, empty, close, "Do," Open, big bags of flour and sugar, close, "You," Open, nothing, close, "Have," Open, nope, close, "So," Open, nada, close, "Many," Open, "Drawers!" I complained as I observed the cans and bottles carefully. … Yams. They were all yams. The bottles looked like- oop, "Yam Seasoning" was scrawled on the side. I closed the drawer with a sigh. Okay. One of the regenerations either loved Yams or forgot he had a Yam drawer and kept buying more when going out.

"It's," Slide, shuffle, click, "Really," Slide, shuffle, click, "Not," Creak, pause, slam, "That," Two creaks, "Many! Aha! I found… Why do I have so many beets?"

I sighed before backing away and shaking my head. The seasoning and the pan drawers were left open for when we inevitably found spaghetti sauce. He closed the doors with a thud and a thump and leaned next to me.

"We… Did you check the fridges?" I muttered in exasperation. I know I didn't, because I chose to do the side without the fridge. The Doctor said he did even as he walked over and opened the fridge. I watched him as he shifted, grabbing something, and closed my eyes as spaghetti sauce came out. Great.

"You didn't check the fridges."

"... Well, we have everything we need!"

"And it only took fifteen minutes of searching," I drawled, unamused.

He gave me a sheepish grin as he held out the sauce, "You know how to cook, right?"

I blinked slowly, before sighing melodramatically and stalking forwards, grabbing the sauce, and moving to the stove. I cooked it, grabbing my phone out of my pocket and searching up what seasonings to use. Grabbing those seasonings after a few minutes of scrolling and stirring, I found the proper recipe. Ten minutes later a batch of spaghet was made and everyone was nomming happily. Or, well, in my case, contentedly as I listened to the trio.

"You've been travelling all alone?" Charles asked.

"That can't be healthy," Adam pitched in with a full mouth.

"Chew before speaking, please," The Doctor said kindly, seeming like he really didn't want to see what all of us did, "And yeah… It probably isn't. That's fine, though. I have Justice!"

"You keep him company? So, Justice, how long have you known the Doctor?"

I didn't realize it was me being talked about before a hand patted me on the shoulder, three sets of eyes on me. I finished my mouthful, tempted to shrug and shove another mouthful in… I shook my head, "Sorry, huh?" Right, my name was Justice here. Well. Nickname. Loosely defined as a name. Right. That. At least it was a nice name. Better than my last.

"How long have you known the Doctor?" Adam repeated.

"Oh, uh… A while," I didn't mind Charles knowing of my future knowledge, but Adam? The stupid traitor? "How do you all like the spaghetti?"

"Good!"

"Quite well."

"Eh, I've had better," The Doctor commented, the only one who truly deserved to be focused on due to the words.

"Ahah, hokay Gordon Ramsay, I'm 90% sure that you couldn't do a better job than this," I replied with an eyeroll.

"Who's Gordon Ramsay?" Three people asked in varying words. I sighed.

"A famous chef who has a few series of his own. He's cooked for various Royalties," I replied in deadpan, as if reading from a script, "... Where's the lamb sauce?" I muttered under my breath with a snicker and a shake of my head.

The Doctor gave me a peculiar look, before shaking his head and continuing to eat. Once the pan was empty, everyone including the Doctor getting seconds, and Adam and the Doctor getting thirds, we all sat and spoke some more.

Eventually it was mutually decided to go to our rooms and sleep, and the Doctor showed Charles and Adam their rooms. Various images flashed through my mind the moment he showed me mine, and I turned and poked him in the chest, "Make sure you sleep too. If you have bags tomorrow I'm forcing you into any bed and keeping you there till you collapse in exhaustion or give up and sleep," I paused, grinning for a second, "Heh, that sounded wrong."

The Doctor looked almost bewildered by my post-comment but only shook his head, "I'll make sure to get to sleep, mother," He teased.

"You better!" I called at his retreating back. I went into my room, observing the… Familiar room absently. Ah. Just what I needed. My room… Plus three doors where my closets should be. So… A wall with four doors and my childhood room. Of memories. And childhood. And memories. I looked in each of the rooms. Ah. Of course. A bathroom that matched my childhood bathroom, a walk-in closet, and a… Large bright area full of dirt. Oh! Everest.

I quickly planted Everest, and spoke of my day with him, even writing in my new diary, using a code that I made up a while back, half-remembered.

Eventually though I couldn't stall any longer and said my goodbyes to Everest before walking into the room. I didn't look at it, getting out an outfit and going to take a shower. All of the clothing was red, oddly enough, but I didn't mind.

I walked out of the bathroom wearing a basic outfit of varying shades of red, a dark red sweatshirt on instead of the hotel robe. I made sure everything swapped pockets.

I was left just staring at the room again. The room that is full of memories. And childhood. And memories, "Ah, I don't… Need sleep. I mean. I'm not tired… I'll just… Go get some coffee…" I turned around with a frown and exited the room. It hurt.

I loved the room, but… It hurt. I missed Guhan. My universe. Maybe I'd go after finding the library, a theater room if there was one where I could show the Doctor and Co. Gordon Ramsay and Final Destinations.

"... Thank you, Sexy," I murmured, gently running a hand across the wall of one of the various hallways.

I expected the silence, and, suddenly, I felt lonely. I wandered around, an empty feeling growing in my heart as I traced my steps back to the kitchen. I absently started cleaning up the dishes as the coffee machine started working on making coffee. It was silent beyond that, but my thoughts were all screaming at me. I'd not have noticed an airhorn if it was set off right behind me due to it, and no one knew my name to get me out of the twirling mass of increasingly downward twirling thoughts.

They started innocent, at Gordon Ramsay and Final Destinations, then it trailed off to thinking about how long it'd been since I'd seen Final Destinations myself, then it spiralled into the various fragile ways humans could die, and then, eventually, it settled on myself.

My thoughts screamed and shrieked, the silence of the outside world in comparison to my inside world clogging my ears as each thought begged to be seen, be observed.

I put the dishes away calmly, face blank and eyes farseeing even as I made myself a giant cup of coffee, five sugar cubes and one second of pouring creamer into the cup, making it a light tan. I put the creamer away in the fridge, keeping the sugar out, for I wasn't done drinking coffee, but the creamer would last me the rest of the pot. The last cup would be as bitter as a five sugar-cubed coffee could be.

I opened a drawer to see what was in it, hoping it was where the forks went, only to pause as the variety of knives glimmered in the light. I didn't notice the creaking of the handle as the drawer tried closing itself, my hand automatically gripping tighter even as memories rushed over me, eyes not focused on the knives in front of me so much as the knives of my past.

Tears streamed down my face as I looked at the knives. I pulled out one, not caring which it was, the blanket that I'd been given as a child draped around my shoulders like a cloak as I observed the small wooden children's table in the kitchen, knife in hand. The moon illuminated the entire area through the sliding glass doors leading to the backdoor deck, painted red. I imagined myself slouched over the table, a crimson red pool soaking into the edges of my blanket that would be on the table.

I blinked to get rid of the thought, only for a slimmer knife to drag me back down memory lane. I didn't notice when my necklace started heating up.

I was empty and cold, walking down the roads with the multitool gripped tightly in my hand. I stumbled down the empty streets, snow barely covering the ground. Was snow covering the ground? Yes, it had been snowing earlier. It was October, or maybe it was November? I sat down at the park, painfully frozen fingers prying the knife of the multitool open-

The drawer slammed shut with a loud bang, and I blinked mildly. I took a long drink of the coffee, downing it like it was the only thing keeping me sane, ignoring the Doctor whose firm hand had closed it. I poured myself another cup, not caring that I drank the entirety of the first cup, meaning the rest would be black coffee and sugar. I took a sip of that, forcing myself to relax, and held out the hand still holding the forks.

"Where do these go? I can't find the drawer…" I rubbed my chest, only for my hand to jolt away as I winced. Ow ow ow, when did the necklace get so hot? Fuck! I pulled the necklace off and tossed it on the counter, where a napkin caught fire as it landed on it.

The Doctor leaned against the cooking counter after putting the rest of the dishes away, standing in front of the drawer of knives, where I noted the handle looked like it had been about to break. Did… I do that? I put the fire out with a few pats, moving the red-glowing necklace from anything flammable and ending up setting it on the oven next to the soapy pot that I was going to get to after everything else was put away.

It was silent for a long time, my ears ringing from the sudden transfer from memory lane to reality. I didn't meet the Doctor's eyes, just staring at his knees as I drank my cup of coffee. The rest of the pot later, the sugar cubes put away, I hesitantly poked my necklace. It was still burning hot, and I put my finger in my mouth. Ow.

I heard an odd clicking sound, before realizing that the Doctor was gritting his teeth. Oh. Yeah. Catching someone staring at knives was probably not the best sight to come in to, was it? I shifted, stomach twisting. Was I sickened, or was I feeling guilty? I blinked. I probably just drank too much coffee too fast.

I awkwardly, avoiding his eyes, cleaned the coffee cup and the coffee maker before putting everything where it was supposed to go. I picked up the cool chain of my pendant and held it away from me as I shifted, looking up into the Doctor's eyes. I looked away. Ah. Not anger. Worry. That… That made me feel so much worse, honestly.

"Have a good night, Doctor. Thanks for uh, helping me put away the silverware-"

"Show me your arms," He interrupted.

"... I- I wasn't going to do anything, I swear. I didn't do anything," I raised my arms in the classical surrender pose, before walking backwards and turning to leave.

I tried not showing how affected I was as I left. He followed me silently, and we walked side by side companionably. Well. I thought it was like that, anyway. My lips were thoroughly chewed up, and the Doctor took my pendant from me when I tried palming it to help me focus. I was currently fidgeting with my sonic screwdriver pieces, absently placing them back together and looking at the break line, before pulling them apart again and observing the break in general. Once the doors started appearing, I started opening them to see if they were the library, theater… My thoughts trailed off.

I kind of wished I felt lonely right now.

"... So why weren't you in bed?" I asked. It had only been about… an hour or so? Since we had last said goodbye. I checked my phone. Ah, yeah, three and a half hours. Right. That.

"Wasn't tired," He blatantly lied with a yawn, "Why weren't you in bed? I remember taking you to your room. Didn't like it?"

"Ah, no, it's great. Uh, I… I wasn't tired either," I said simply, eyes unfocused as I looked ahead. I opened another door. Nope. That was… A pool? Huh, looks like the pool wasn't in the library yet. Good to know.

… He didn't go to sleep due to the nightmares he'd get, right? … And I didn't go to sleep due to the memories that would prevent sleep from coming. So… We were both acting like traumatized idiots with PTSD. Which we both almost 99% had.

I put the pieces away and scratched at my chest, "Ow! Fuck, man," before wincing and hissing, looking down to see a hole burned through my clothes showing a rather burnt-looking patch of skin, "Ah. That doesn't look too good," I muttered to myself. At a crossroads I turned left.

"Your room is the other way," The Doctor said.

I shrugged, "Good to know," I paused, "..." My mouth opened and closed a few times before I forced the words out, hating how fake they sounded, "You don't have to follow me around, you know, I'm just exploring."

I paused when the Doctor stopped, looking at him. Ah. Now he was angry. My mind was too addled to really understand why. I was just saying he could go back to sleep while I explore, yeah? What would he be angry about?

"You're injured, you won't show me your arms, you tried holding red hot metal in your hand earlier, and you can't look me in the eyes," His northern accent thickened, slowly getting louder as well, "And now you're telling me to swan off after I caught you lookin' at knives when the TARDIS was clearly try'n ta close the drawer on ya!"

I met his eyes although I didn't want to, "Yeah. I'm looking for some aloe vera, my arms are very warm and no harm has come to them, I'm fucking antisocial-" I blow through my nose, shaking my head, "It wasn't what it looked like," I instead said.

"Then what was it?" He demanded, crossing his arms.

"It was nothing, okay? Nothing was going to happen! I just opened the wrong drawer!" I snapped, arms flying out and up in a gesture of exasperation, "Seriously, calm the fuck down and stop making assumptions!"

"No, no, I think since you're my companion that you need to tell me these things! I don't- I don't want to wake up one day and find a dead human hanging from the rafters of my TARDIS."

I snarled silently, face set in an angry glare, "Fuck. Off. I would never fucking do that!"

"Then why were you staring at the knives in the kitchen!"

"I wasn't!"

"What were you doin' then?! Having an arm wrestle with the TARDIS?"

"I was just thinking!"

"Oh, yeah, staring at knives and thinkin'. Makes me feel a world better. Thanks."

"You're fucking welcome!"

"Um, excuse me, if I may, what, exactly, is going on?" An aged voice asked hesitantly. Two glares focused on the sight of Adam and Charles, both in pajamas, looking at them, confused. I huffed at the same time the Doctor did, and we both crossed our arms.

"Well. I mean, we were having a shouting match," I said flatly, gesturing towards the Doctor, "He caught me doing the dishes-"

"Oh, doin' the dishes, she says!"

"Yes, I was doing the dishes. You helped me put the forks away, remember?" I snapped back, before turning back to Charles and Adam with a kind expression, "So uh, nothing to worry about. Sorry for waking you two."

"I heard something about knives?" Adam asked.

"I opened the wrong drawer at the wrong time," I shrugged.

"And the uh, the burn mark on your chest?" Charles asked.

"Accidentally heated up my pendant too much," I explained away, "Really, we're just letting off steam. Truly. Have a good night you two. Sorry again for waking you."

Charles and Adam shared a bewildered look before nodding and slowly going back to their respective rooms, many hesitant glances given to the glowering Doctor and my very, very fake grin.

They went into their rooms, and my grin fell as I spun the exact opposite way of their rooms. The Doctor and I were silent until we made it to what seemed to be a safe place, the console room.

"..." I sat, scowling, on the pilot's seat as the Doctor angrily muttered to himself and started working under the console. A few minutes passed, me in deep thought as my scowl faded.

He was worried, but even he should understand PTSD, right? I paused. Well. I mean. I didn't tell him I was just having flashbacks, did I? From his perspective, I was obsessively staring at the knife drawer while the drawer rattled in its endeavours to close. I sighed with a grimace, before standing up and stalking towards the hallways. I paused right once I was about to leave, hesitating.

The Doctor walked up to be behind me, and I sighed heavily, "Just trust me, please," my voice was low, genuine, and a bit weary.

"How can I, when you lied so easily to those two?" The Doctor demanded.

"It's… I was…" I sighed through my nose, trying to find the right words in this fucked up situation, "I was caught off guard by the sight of the knives-"

"Oh-" He tried cutting me off, but I continued in my low, genuine, and weary voice.

"Since, you know," I lifted both my sleeves and turned around to show him that the only things marring the skin were still-healing scars from weeks past, "I've had various experiences with them."

I observed my arms for a moment, before putting the sleeves down and looking to the side, "Um. Well, I was just…" I shook my head, meeting the Doctor's eyes, "You know how PTSD works. I was having flashbacks. I…" I felt my cheeks flush, and I tried keeping his eyes even as my face burned, "Thank you for," I looked away, a hand coming up to rub at the back of my neck even as my mind derisively told me how worthless I was, that I couldn't even look him in the eyes and thank him, "Thanks. For knocking me out of that. As you can probably guess, the memories I was trapped in… Weren't the most pleasant. Sorry for snapping at you."

I met his eyes briefly, before nodding my head, "Right. Well. I'm going to go and explore. Yeah. Bye."

"Wait," He said.

I froze, before turning around to look back at him, already having been seven paces away. I waited for a moment, before speaking, "Uh, yeah?"

"... I have flashbacks too. I'm sorry for accusing you about it without knowin," He apologized.

I nodded rapidly, "Yeah, no, it's fine. I understand. You don't have to apologize, it was all my fault." I waved my hands, shaking my head. I backed away a few steps, before waving awkwardly and spinning on my heel to walk away.

Setting off to explore, I sighed. I'd not get any sleep tonight, and from the sounds of it, nor would the Doctor. At least there was a coffee machine- oh!

"Oh yeah, and Doctor?" I jogged back. He turned from where he was patting the console, "Tomorrow's movie-day. I'm not letting you three exist a moment longer without seeing Gordon Ramsay and Final Destinations."

His lips quirked up, and he nodded, "Sure."

Do you guys want the fluff of the Movie Day or would you rather move on to the next adventure? Your choice. I'm... I'm going to finish reading this other story that I am totally happy exists, The Weeping Nebula, and finish the chapter that came out while I was mid-chapter writing this. Check it out! It's totally adorable.