Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

A/N #1: Okay, so...to start off, I'm thinking that most of you are probably going to hate Sam even more after this chapter, but aw well, it can't be helped. Although, I think some of you'll will also be a bit satisfied by how the chapter falls out at the end. Now, there is one thing I do want to address before I continue, and that's with one of the criticisms my story has received from several readers. This fanfic has gotten both lots of praise and lots of criticism, both of which are well deserved, and this is one I'd like to speak a bit on. Several have stated that they think the kids appear to be too wise considering how old they are. This, of course, is the fault of the writer (a.k.a me) not the characters, and though I do very much remember being thirteen (and what a great year that was) a lot of it stems from the fact that I am a twenty-seven year old writing this story, not a fifteen year old, or seventeen year old, or even a twenty-one year old, and obviously that's been influencing my writing without me much noticing. So, though it is a criticism with merit, in a way I kinda take it also as a compliment, since it's really my own views and the way I feel reflected in this story. Much of what is written in here is the way I felt at thirteen, which has grown stronger as I've gotten older, and everything is really influenced by my own childhood. These kids have known each other since they were babies, making them family really, and remember a lot of what they say they would not say to strangers or people they don't know well. It's things I myself never had a problem being blunt about with my own three siblings, and a lot of how they act is based off the relationship I had and still have with my brothers and sister. So, I do deserve the criticism, but again, in a way I'm kind of flattered, as it's also a compliment to my own way of thinking and living!

A/N #2: For those of you who have not visited the forum, this chapter, and really the whole story, is dedicated in the memory of fellow digimon fanfiction writer Hikari Motomiya Yagami, who passed away a few months ago from blood cancer. She was a friend of mine I met on this site, and she will be missed. I love you, girl. I hope my stories continue to being a smile to your face. For those of you who did not know, I myself am a cancer survivor, and this month marks my eighth year being cancer free. I was one of the lucky ones, and I'm thankful everyday I was given a second chance. There are those out there like my friend here who never got that chance, and it is for them that we must all keep on living for those who can't.

Life truly is a gift. Use it wisely.-Broken Angel01

Following the Footsteps of Destiny

Chapter 220: Without Compassion

Ken Ichijouji

Server, Eastern Hemisphere, Digital World

Ken sat quietly next to Mimi on a battered fallen tree branch, which Ryoko had helped him drag over to the newly constructed fire pit earlier, and gazing at his son, who sat several feet away from the unlit fire on a second log, for what felt like the millionth time that day his heart constricted painfully in his chest. Ever since the group had split up to perform their various tasks, Sam had been doing a fine job of ignoring him, which was doing nothing to boost his confidence. In fact, Sam's current behaviour was only making him even more nervous and desperate, and because of that he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand keeping his distance, especially when every nerve in his body was screaming at him to go to his son.

"Just go, Ken," Mimi suddenly said quietly in his ear, reaching out to give his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You know you want to."

"But-"

"If you don't go, I'm going to drag you over there myself," Ryoko informed him, a stubborn look on the golden-haired Digidestined's handsome face.

Ken glanced at Ryoko, who was sitting by Mimi's feet, the two of them setting out the supplies they would need for making dinner, but before he could come up with a decent argument to counter the blond's request, Alopemon promptly decided to join in the conversation, a smug smirk flashing across his furry face. "Look at him, Ken. He's all alone over there. You'll never have a better opportunity to speak to him. If I were you, I'd make the most of the moment. You might not have many more chances in the future. Don't let this one pass you by because I know you'll regret it if you do."

"Alopemon's right," Palmon agreed, smiling from her seat on the damp earth next to Ryoko. "You never know. Sam might surprise you."

Maybe, but I doubt it.

Kern frowned at his own pessimistic thoughts, and turning away from the hopeful faces staring back at him, he let his eyes wander over to Izzy, who was sitting by himself a little off to one side, his fingers tapping out a steady rhythm on the keyboard of his laptop. According to the computer expert, he was typing out a message to Taniko and the others back at the Motomiya residence, informing them about the days events. Matt, Gabumon, and Leomon were sitting next to a thick clump of drooping foliage, their gazes focused on the scenery stretching out all around them for miles on end, searching for any signs of any unwanted visitors. At the moment, Matt and Leomon were speaking softly to each other, but despite their conversation their eyes never once strayed from the important task Matt had set for them, safety above all else being the golden-haired Digidestined's utmost concern.

"Ken?" Wormmon called suddenly, speaking softly in the darkness.

The little rookie's voice was timid, and Ken winced at the sound. It always distressed him when his partner sounded like that. It reminded him too much of the Emperor days, when he had treated Wormmon like a useless piece of vermin instead of like the amazing, wonderful, loving partner that he was.

"Are you going, or not?" Ryoko demanded, his arms crossing defiantly over his chest.

Since it looked as if Ryoko really would go through with his threat, and probably succeed in doing so simply because Ken didn't have the strength or the heart to put up any kind of resistance, he decided to spare himself the humiliation and quickly stood up, a resigned look on his face.

Without a word to his beaming companions, he slowly made his way over to Sam's side, taking a seat on the log next to his son, Wormmon resting comfortably in his arms. He was careful not to sit too close, keeping some distance between them in case Sam didn't want him there, which was probably the case, and though Sam had flinched at his sudden approach, indicating the raven-haired boy was every bit aware of him as he was of his son, despite the way Sam had been ignoring him, his son didn't immediately run off, which Ken took as a good sign.

There had been very few of those lately, and because of that Ken was willing to take whatever he could get no matter how small and insignificant it might seem.

Sam...

Ken studied his son's face, which looked pale and ghostly in the darkness, and though he was sure Sam was aware of his gaze, the raven-haired boy did not acknowledge his presence. As they sat there in silence, thunder rumbled in the distance, but since there was no sign of any lightning yet and only the occasional drop of rain, he figured they still had some time before the heart of the storm hit them, enough to at least have their meal and to take a dip in the springs before it would become necessary to take refuge inside the cabin.

The night was warm, though it didn't come anywhere close to the heat they had suffered throughout the afternoon, thanks to the cool breeze and the drop in humidity, making the heat much more easy to endure. It was by no means cold, and yet for some reason Sam was shivering, and he looked downright miserable, to put it nicely.

"Cold?" Ken asked softly, desperate for a reply.

He didn't really expect an answer, but to his astonishment, Sam decided to respond, the words barely above a whisper. "A little."

Ken quickly set Wormmon in his lap, and reaching for one of the two backpacks Yolei had left outside, he pulled the one with the spare blankets Mina had packed in case it got cold and they needed to stay the night towards him, wanting more than anything to ease his son's suffering. Tons of scattered thoughts were racing through his head, but instead of voicing any of them he merely yanked out one of the blankets and dropped it around Sam's shoulders, satisfied that he could at least do something, even if that something was small and rather insignificant. Finished with that task, he leaned back on his hands, his deep blue gaze lifting to take in the dark, troubled sky. "Better?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, but despite his lack of a reply, the raven-haired boy pulled the blanket closer around his body and proceeded to cuddle deeper into its folds, his sapphire gaze never wavering from the dark trees looming over the roof of the cabin.

Now that Sam looked more comfortable, Ken had run out of things to say, which was unheard of for him. When it came to his children, this kind of thing had never happened to him before. Yes, he was a bit on the quiet side, but it was a different kind of quiet. The silence was usually comfortable and filled with words that did not need to be said, but this time it was awkward, unnerving even, and he wished Sam would say something, anything to ease the tension between them.

He won't, though, and I don't blame him. I haven't exactly given him any reasons lately to want to speak to me...

Which was, perhaps now, a good reason to possibly change that. Like Alopemon had indicated earlier, he was running out of chances, and he knew without being told that he needed to make the most of the ones he did have.

Like now.

"Sam?"

Sam didn't reply, and Ken hesitated before reaching out to place a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. Immediately, Sam jerked away from him before his hand could even make contact, and hugging a drowsy Glowmon tightly to his chest, he mumbled something Ken couldn't quite catch.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said, leave me alone," Sam murmured quietly, turning his face away.

Ken quickly snatched his hand back, the sting of Sam's words cutting deeply into his heart, and staring at his knees, he pressed his hand against his heart as if it had been burned, though the pain was entirely emotional and had nothing to do with his physical well being. Physical pain, he could have handled. It was the emotional pain that was slowly killing him on the inside, making him wish Sam would just simply hit him instead of saying such horrible things.

"Sam, you shouldn't talk like that!" Glowmon scolded, frowning at his partner. "That wasn't a very nice thing to say."

Sam chose not to reply, earning himself a disapproving look from the little rookie.

Sam...

Ken could tell Glowmon wanted to protest, but before the little rookie could open his mouth, Wormmon sent him a warning look to keep him quiet. It was clear Wormmon felt it was best if they didn't try to interfere, and nodding to show he understood Glowmon reluctantly lapsed into silence, though it was obvious that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Sam, I just want to talk. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I..."

Ken trailed off as Sam's eyes suddenly filled with what looked suspiciously like tears, and it took all of his willpower not to reach out and pull his son into a fierce hug. Sam needed him, there was no denying that, and yet here he was, so close and yet so far away. His son was hurting, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Nothing at all. That was the part that hurt most of all. He was helpless to do anything because he was the reason why there was a problem to begin with.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Sam suddenly said in a quiet voice, speaking almost to himself. It was as if he hadn't even heard Ken's words.

Maybe he hadn't, which wouldn't really come as a surprise.

"I just...I don't get it," Sam continued, his voice trembling slightly, though he sounded surprisingly calm. "I don't understand any of this. I feel...so alone..."

Ken closed his eyes, unable to endure the pain and confusion flashing across Sam's young face. "You can't tell me you honestly believe that. You can't tell me for one minute that you believe your friends have abandoned you, that I've abandoned you. You're far from being alone, Sam. Trust me, I know what it feels like to truly be alone, which is why I would never leave you to face the darkness by yourself no matter how much you want to be rid of me. I'm always going to be here, and you're just going to have to put up with me, whether you want to or not."

"You don't-"

"What, Sam? What is it you think I don't understand? Do you think I don't know you're hurting because of me? Do you think I don't know that this is all my fault? Do you think I don't regret not telling you my past every single second of every single day since you found out the truth about the Emperor? What don't I understand, Sam? If I don't understand then I can't help you. I can't fix things if you don't let me."

For a moment Sam merely stared at him in stunned silence, and it was then that Ken realized he had spoken with an edge to his voice. He had never acted like this with Sam before, and though everything he had said was true, he regretted the words almost immediately. They'd been uttered out of hurt and anger, which surprised him. He hadn't thought he even had the capability to feel anything anymore, but apparently he was wrong.

"Do you expect me to feel sorry for you? I don't know if I can bring myself to feel that way," Sam replied, his words empty of emotion. "A part of me wants to, but it's not that easy. All this time, I thought you..."

The expression on Sam's face twisted into a look Ken was unable to decipher, though the intensity of it made him wince. He wasn't going to back down, though. Not this time.

"What exactly are you trying to accomplish, Sam? If you think being nasty to me is going to change the way I feel about you then you're sorely mistaken. It isn't going to work. Tell me you hate me, tell me I've betrayed you, tell me I don't deserve your love. Maybe you're right, but it won't change a thing. You can hurt me all you want, but you'll never change what's in my heart. Go ahead and try. Keep doing what you're doing, Sam, if you think it will make you happy. In the end, you'll only find yourself disappointed, because you and I both know this isn't what you want."

"Maybe I can't change what's inside your heart, but you can change what's inside of mine," Sam whispered, huddling deeper into his blanket.

And that was exactly what Ken was afraid of.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry I've disappointed you, but I can't change my past, much as I would love to be able to do so. You might hate me now for everything I am and everything I've done, you might have lost all the respect you ever had for me, but even that won't stop me from loving you."

"Stop! Just stop!" Sam interrupted, a shrill, almost hysterical note marring the normally pleasant tone of his voice. "I don't want to hear what you have to say! You...you..."

Ken didn't know what came over him, but suddenly he found himself almost shouting in return, something he had also never done before with his children. Yolei had always been the loud one, never him. "Why do you insist I stop? Why is that so important to you? You don't want to hear about how much I love you? Would it be easier for you to hate me if I felt the same as you do? Is that what you want me to say, Sam? Is that what you're waiting for? Are you waiting for me to tell you that I no longer respect you? Are you waiting to hear that I don't love you anymore and that I can't stand to look at you for having refused to stand by my side the way Miya and Nao have done, simply to make it easier for you to hate me? Is that what you want to hear?"

Sam hit him then, and surprised by the sudden blow, Ken nearly feel backwards off his perch on the log. At the last minute he managed to catch himself and Sam hit him again, but this time the blow to his chest had less force behind it. Even so, both of their digimon leaped out of the way with cries of shock to avoid being caught in the middle.

"Don't," Sam choked out, lashing out with another feeble blow to his chest. "I don't...I can't..."

Ken grabbed both of his son's wrists to stem the weak blows, and throwing caution to the wind, he pulled Sam tightly against his chest, ignoring the raven-haired boy's attempts to wiggle free. "This isn't you, Sam. You and I both know it. Your mother and I raised you better than this. I might once have failed at being a Digidestined, but I've spent the last fifteen years of my life making sure I didn't make the same mistake raising my children. Please don't make me feel as if I've failed at that, as well. Try all you want, Sam. You will never hear those kind of terrible accusations from me no matter how much you try to hurt me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm always going to be by your side no matter what happens."

In his arms, Sam took a deep, shuddering breath, but this time he didn't pull away, and Ken decided to take advantage of the moment, putting his whole heart and soul into the hug. He could feel Sam's heart beating rapidly against his own heart, and he could also feel the steady pulse of his son's wrists, which were curled against his chest. Sam felt so fragile, so breakable in his arms, and that scared him. How was Sam going to be able to fight off all the darkness around them in such a vulnerable state?

"Everything okay?" a voice demanded, and Ken glanced up to find Ryoko standing a few feet away, an uncertain look on his face as he gazed at Sam.

Mimi had half risen out of her seat, obviously concerned, and even Izzy had glanced up from his computer to gape at the scene before him. Both Matt and Leomon had come closer, the former musician's sapphire eyes focused on Sam, ready to restrain the boy if he continued to get violent, and all of the digimon looked confused and worried, clearly unsure of what to do when the fighting taking place was between their partners.

"Ken?" Matt called out quietly, his gaze remaining fixed on Sam's trembling form.

Ken took a deep breath, doing his best to collect himself before even attempting to respond. "I'm fine, Matt."

"No you're not," another voice responded, and this time Ken looked up to see Daichi, Mickey, Cody, and their digimon standing just inside the edge of the clearing.

Daichi was the one who had spoken, and he was glaring at Sam, clearly not impressed with the raven-haired Digidestined's current lack of manners. Obviously Dai's group had witnessed Sam's abusive behaviour, and Sam, recognizing this, promptly turned a deep shade of red.

"Sam," Mickey sighed, regretfully shaking his head before falling silent.

Unlike Mickey, Dai didn't seem content with merely uttering a few words of disapproval. Stalking towards them, he pointed his finger at Sam and said in a deathly calm voice, "You. Up, now."

Ken watched as the blood appeared to drain from Sam's face, and curious to know what Dai intended to do with his son, he reluctantly let go of Sam, who promptly scrambled to his feet and gave Dai a wary look.

Dai stared at Sam for a moment, and curling the fingers on his right hand into a fist, he promptly punched Sam in the face, sending the raven-haired Digidestined tumbling backwards onto the ground.

"Dai!" Mickey gasped, staring at the goggle-headed leader in shock.

Sam muttered something that sounded a lot like 'ouch', and rubbing his bruised cheek he stared incredulously at Dai, and expression of both anger and confusion contorting his handsome face.

"Tell me, Sam, when did you suddenly become such a brat?" Dai snapped, not looking the least bit sorry for his actions. "If I remember correctly, that's not the Sam I know, and if you want to know the truth, I'm getting a bit sick of this new Sam. Listen up because I'm not saying this again. You hit Ken again and there will be more where that came from! Every time you hit him or try to hurt him, I'll hit you back twice as hard until you finally get the message. If you don't want to end up black and blue by the time we reach the Spirit Chips then I suggest you keep your hands to yourself!"

"Who are you to yell at me about hitting people?" Sam said bitterly, leaping to his feet. "You hit Ryoko all the time, and if I remember correctly, you were the one fighting with Matty when we were were looking for your Spirit Chip!"

"That's different."

Sam gaped at the goggle-leaded leader, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he could utter his next words. "How is that any different?"

Dai glanced first at Ryoko and then at the cabin where Matty was helping out Yolei and Rosa, a small smile slipping across his face. "I only fight those who are willing to fight back. Your dad would never hurt you and you know it, and taking advantage of that is a poor way to treat someone who obviously loves you more than life itself. If you're going to be an idiot, fine, but a least show a little bit of respect."

"You can't-"

"Just shut it, Sam!" Dai shouted, poking the raven-haired Digidestined in the chest. "Get it through your head or do I need to teach you another lesson?"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Sam shouted back at the goggle-headed leader.

"Actually, he can, to a certain degree," Matt interrupted, clearly amused. "It comes with the territory, being the leader of the Digidestined and all. And in a situation like this, he leads, you follow. I suggest you quit arguing now because you know as well as I do that he means what he says."

Furious, Sam attempted to slip past Dai, but the goggle-headed leader suddenly stopped him in his tracks. "Where do you think you're going? Don't even think about trying to run off into the swamp somewhere. I'm not going to be chasing you all over Server just because you don't want to face up to your dad."

"Let me go," Sam snapped, trying to pull his wrist out of Dai's grip.

"Let him go, Dai," Mickey suddenly interrupted, coming closer and reaching out to place an arm around Sam's trembling shoulders. Sam immediately latched onto the older twin, and giving the raven-haired Digidestined a soothing pat on the back, Mickey said softly, "Why don't you get some rest in the cabin while we wait for the food to cook? I'll bring you some dinner and then you can join us in the springs to get cleaned up once you've had a chance to calm down a bit. How does that sound?"

Sam took a deep breath before nodding his head, and following Mickey, he headed towards the cabin, Glowmon once again settled in his arms. As soon as Sam was out of sight, the tension in the air immediately faded, and Ken slumped back in his seat, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Are you okay, Ken?" Wormmon asked quietly, leaping back into his lap and cuddling against his stomach.

"I'm fine, Wormmon."

Ken felt Dai sit down next to him, and putting an arm around the goggle-headed leader, he said, "Thank you."

"Daichi, was that really necessary?" Ryoko groaned, coming over to them with Alopemon and plopping down onto the ground in front of Dai.

"Of course it was," Embermon defended his partner, beaming at the goggle-headed leader.

"Relax, Ishida," Dai replied, smiling slightly. "He's only upset because he knows I'm right, and look on the bright side. He won't be hitting anyone else anytime soon after this."

"He's right, though. You are a hypocrite," Ryoko shot back, frowning at the goggle-headed leader.

Dai looked at Ryoko, his dark eyes taking on a much more serious expression, "No, I'm not. And maybe one day you'll finally get the message too."

And with that, Dai stepped over his golden-haired friend and proceeded to head towards the fire to help Mimi stack the wood, leaving Ryoko staring after him in surprise.

Ken, having watched the exchange, smiled before turning his attention to the cabin, and wincing at a sudden stab of emotional pain in his heart, he hugged Wormmon close to his chest, desperate to gain back the warmth and security that had left him when Sam had slipped out of his grasp. Sam's hurtful words and violent behaviour had been like a knife in his chest, but he wasn't going to give up. Somehow he would find a way.

DarkAngelicmon, I know you're out there somewhere. You saved my son once, but this is far from being over. Please, help me. Help me bring my son back into the light...