Following the Footsteps of Destiny

by Broken Angel01

It's not an easy road to follow the path of a legacy that spans over several generations of Digidestined, but when those who are innocent succumb to the darkness, that is when the pages of history reveal themselves in the prophecies of File Island. Their numbers are growing, and the time has come for Daichi Motomiya and his friends to harness the true strength of their hearts.

279. Twisted Soul

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

A/N: Happy to have another chapter finished! This one wasn't too bad to write. The next one I think will be the hardest one of all for this Spirit Chip arc. Hopefully, though, I will be able to write it out quickly!

Following the Footsteps of Destiny

Chapter 279: Twisted Soul

Ryoko Ishida

Net, Northern Hemisphere, Digital World

Ryoko Ishida stood slightly off to one side by himself with his back to the giant chasm, the sound of his own heartbeat thumping painfully in his ears, and staring uneasily at DarkAngelicmon, he was unable to comprehend the meaning behind the words the fallen angel had spoken to Daichi.

Performance of a lifetime? What did that mean, and what did Daichi have to do with anything?

He doesn't care about me at all, no matter what he does or says, and truthfully I deserve it. But even so...why? Why does he sometimes act like he does? Why would he hurt me like that?

Ryoko had no way of knowing for sure what went on in Dai's head, and watching the goggle-head leader with apprehension, he winced as the other boy met his gaze without any hesitation. Dai was standing fairly close to Matty, his expression giving no indication as to what he was thinking, and because Ryoko had jerked himself out of his cousin's arms only moments ago in a desperate attempt to avoid Dai's reach, he had somehow managed to successfully put some distance between himself and his two friends.

And yet despite the physical gap he had created to protect himself from the other two boys, he could still feel a strange tingling sensation in his body, which he knew was caused by the rays of red and yellow light that had burst forth from the two D-Coders belonging to Dai and Matty.

I could feel them. Their hearts were so strong and so warm, and it felt like those feelings were meant for me...

Even now, Ryoko was still having trouble trying to catch his breath, and placing a hand against his own pounding heart, he became acutely aware of the emptiness that had filled his soul, which only moments ago had been pulsing with the powerful emotions of his two friends. He missed the sound of their three hearts beating in sync, despite how much the sensation had unnerved him, but that wasn't the reason why he had pulled away so quickly, almost as soon as he had realized what was going on. It was the intense strength of the feelings resonating from within those hearts that had touched him so deeply, and as the minds of both Matty and Dai had brushed his own, he had been overwhelmed by the sheer force of their affection for not only each other, but also for him.

Love, friendship, respect, loyalty, trust, and an unbreakable bond of companionship that could survive even the most daunting of trials.

All of those feelings had been directed at him. From both Matty, who wanted to cause him pain, and from Dai, who wanted nothing to do with him.

But that's impossible. I've hurt Matty so much, and Dai probably wouldn't care if I disappeared off the face of the Earth forever. I must have imagined it. There's no way they could possibly feel that way about me. Not after what I've done...

No matter how much he wished it was so, he couldn't just ignore all the tension that had built up between the three of them over the last month. Dai still had no idea how Matty was feeling, but the goggle-headed leader must have noticed that the younger twin hadn't been acting like his usual self. And while perhaps the rift between all of the them was something that had come to the forefront only within the last four weeks, Ryoko knew deep down inside it had started much earlier than that.

That was the main reason why he had pulled away so violently from the light, and in doing so, his actions had left a hollow void deep within his heart.

How could he allow himself to indulge in the warmth and affection of his two friends if it was all just a lie? Upon coming to that realization, he had been unable to stand the emotions from Dai and Matty seeping into his body anymore, and knowing he couldn't handle it any longer, he had broken the connection to preserve what little was left of his sanity and self-control.

How could they play with my feelings like that? They were laughing at me, and their light was mocking me. They know my heart is vulnerable, and that was their way of trying to catch me off guard, to hurt me even more than they already have. It would have given them the perfect opportunity to make me suffer for what I've done to them, but I can't blame them for wanting to attack me. It's only what I deserve because I couldn't remain loyal to either one of them. How can I be angry when I brought this fate upon myself? I don't deserve to have any friends. I don't deserve to be loved.

Not by Dai or Matty, and not by Ami either.

I can see her eyes, so dark and pretty. She's staring at me with anger and disappointment. She'll see me for the coward I am, and she'll hate me for not only trying to ruin Dai's friendship with Matty, but also for being unable to admit my true feelings for her brother. No matter what I do she'll despise me for what I've done to Dai. She'll hate me for hurting him and for causing him so much grief...

His sudden thoughts about Ami were so startling and so unexpected that for a moment he had to close his eyes to shield himself from the force of his own conflicting thoughts, and shivering from the icy chill of the cavern, he wished desperately that he could once again indulge in the light of his two friends and feel their hearts beating in sync with his own. His mind was a swirling concentration of chaos, and unable to separate individual feelings from the black mass throbbing within his heart, he felt like his head was going to explode.

I can't think straight, and everything seems so hazy. I don't know what I'm doing anymore...

Ever since Dai had pull him out of a deep sleep that morning, Ryoko had felt like he was in some kind of daze, and while much of what had happened to him since then seemed like a blur, almost like a dream even, the incident with Matty the night before remained clear and vivid in his mind. Although he couldn't be sure, chances were the darkness within the Ice Caverns had something to do with his lapses in memory since his morning wake up call, but there wasn't much he could do about that at the moment. The emotional pain of what he had experienced the night before with Matty made the bruises on his battered body throb in unison with the agony in his heart, and though some time had passed since Matty had attacked him, that was one memory he was unlikely to forget anytime soon. Even just a fleeting thought about the hateful look he had seen in Matty's eyes when the younger twin had confronted him made his heart ache and his chest grow tight, and though much had happened since then, including the painful conversation he had shared with Dai, the presence of both Matty and the goggle-headed leader standing in front of him now in person made his throat constrict with sadness.

I wonder if Dai ever told Ami how he feels about me. Does she know he hates me, or would he hide that from her? Ami wouldn't want him to hate me. If she knew he felt that way, it would make her really angry...

The moment he had shared with Dai earlier was the one thing since waking up that was still fresh in his mind, and thinking back on it now, he suddenly remembered the way his Digivice had connected with the goggle-headed leader's red D-Coder, allowing their hearts to become synchronized. As far as he could recall, the emotions and feelings that had been flowing into him from Dai's soul had felt very similar to what he was sure he had felt from the red and yellow light that had pulled him out of unconsciousness only a few minutes ago, and realizing that now, it made his breath catch in his throat.

Again, he was acting like he cares about me, but he never tells me why. He didn't used to be like this before. Why now all of a sudden? Or has he always been this way, and I just didn't notice?

Maybe Dai had never really changed, and Ryoko had only been seeing what he wanted to see. If he looked back on all the times they had interacted over the years, there was no denying the goggle-headed leader was always going out of his way to try and help him, and several times Dai had done nice things for him that he had taken for granted. Maybe the goggle-headed leader hadn't been quite as forward with his actions when they were younger, but that did not mean Dai hadn't still felt the same way as he was acting like he did now.

But if that was true, then why had Dai suddenly become more persistent with his concern and willingness to help? What would have made the goggle-headed leader decide to act nice in such a way that it was plainly obvious to anybody watching? That was the real question.

I said something. Something that changed his attitude.

And that was when it hit him.

He had called Dai by the fond nickname that everybody else always used.

Everybody except him.

I called him Dai when he woke me up this morning, and again just now. Why? Why did I do something like that? What was I thinking?

He hadn't been thinking. That was the problem. The name had slipped from his lips before he'd had a chance to get his emotions in check, and thus he had made himself even more vulnerable in the goggle-headed leader's quest to hurt him. Not only that, but allowing himself to show such weakness was a blatant disregard for Matty's feelings. Even without meaning to he was still betraying his cousin by allowing himself to continue indulging in the fondness he felt for Dai. That was something he couldn't afford to do anymore, not even by accident. At least, not if he wanted to avoid Matty's wrath.

I can't let myself slip, even if it's just for a minute or two. I don't want Matty to stop caring about me no matter how much it hurts to keep all of these feelings bottled up inside...

Was it because of those feelings and the way he had allowed himself to use Dai's nickname that had contributed to the goggle-headed leader's more affectionate behaviour?

But that's impossible. If my stupid comments really had affected him that much then that would mean he really does care...

And it would also mean Dai would suspect him of returning those feelings.

No...No, I can't let that happen. I can't do that to Matty!

Thinking about Matty, Ryoko suddenly remembered the hatred he had seen in his cousin's eyes when the younger twin had attacked him the night before, and the thought of that cold, bitter voice caused a shiver to race down his spine. Matty had seemed determined to attack Dai, but you wouldn't know it from the way the two were acting towards each other now. In fact, now that Ryoko was actually taking the time to observe his two friends, he could tell that something seemed different between Dai and Matty. The atmosphere between the two boys was filled with a strong sense of understanding and affection, and they were standing close enough to one another that their shoulders were touching. Every so often they would glance at one another and share a moment of mutual understanding, and nothing about their body language or their expressions indicated there was any kind of tension between them. They both looked relaxed and comfortable being so close to each other, and watching them he felt a sudden stab of envy.

Did something happen between them?

Ryoko had no idea just how long he had been unconscious, and as a result there was a slight possibility that something might have changed between Dai and Matty during the blissful moment of escape he had experienced after falling into a catatonic state, but what could have brought those two so much closer together in such a short period of time?

I don't understand. Matty made it perfectly clear he wanted to attack Dai last night. He actually admitted it outright, without even making a single attempt to deny it. I know there's been just as much tension between those two as there's been between myself and both Dai and Matty lately, so why are they so friendly towards each other all of a sudden? And speaking of being friendly, why all of a sudden is Matty acting so nice to me? Why, when just last night he wanted so badly to hurt me...

Ryoko only had vague memories of the incident, but after meeting up with Matty again, the younger twin had been acting strangely nice to him. Gone were those terrible amber eyes, and in their place Matty's expression had held only a look that was a mixture of affection and concern. He knew with a certainty that the incident the night before with Matty hadn't been a dream, as he had the bruises to prove it, so why would the younger twin's attitude have suddenly changed so drastically since then? It didn't make any sense to him, and instead of feeling relieved, Matty's behaviour only succeeded in making him feel even more nervous and afraid.

It must be a trick. Like Dai, he's only pretending to be nice to me until he finds the perfect opportunity to catch me off guard. If I fall for it, he'll attack me again when I least expect it, and once he's through with me, he'll go after Dai. He won't stop until he has his revenge. He won't let me get away with trying to take something that was never mine. He'll make sure I pay for what I've done.

No matter how hard he tried to remember everything that had happened since he woke up that morning, he could still only recall pieces and fragments of the painful events he had been through since discovering the bruises on his body. He could vaguely recall the gentle feel of Dai's arms around him as they rode on Tirimon's back, and every so often he received a flash of the intensity that had sparkled in the goggle-headed leader's gaze upon seeing the marks that were proof of Matty's hatred. And as for Matty himself, Ryoko couldn't stop himself from being assaulted by images of the younger twin holding him close and being sweet and caring towards him, and swallowing a sudden lump in his throat, he had to blink a few times to dry the tears that were glimmering just beneath the surface of his shadowy gaze.

Every time Dai does something that seems even remotely nice to me, all I can see is that bitter smile and those horrible eyes. I'm so sorry, Matty. Even now, I still want something I can't have, but I can't seem to stop myself. And for what. Dai doesn't need me. He has you for a best friend. You were always the better choice. Everybody knows it. Even me...

But that hadn't stopped him from wishing he could experience the same kind of friendship with Dai that Matty shared with the goggle-headed leader, and that weakness of his was the reason why he was losing Matty's love and respect.

Or was he?

That dream I had last night...I saw a golden glow. It was Matty's light. I could feel it touching me even though we were separated. I saw his smile, his real smile, and I know the light was with me even in real life, not just in the dream. Matty and I were connected, and through the connection we shared, I could feel it. I could sense how much he cares about me. That wasn't just a dream. It was real...

As real as the shadows that had attacked him.

Though he didn't particularly want to think about it, Ryoko was unable to stop himself from recalling the dark forms that had reached out so desperately for him from the depths of the black pit, and even now he could still hear them whispering faintly in his ears. It was another one of the images that still remained fresh and vivid in his mind, and he could still feel their freezing cold touch against his skin. The sensation made him shudder in fear and disgust, and frowning to himself, he tried to recall exactly what had happened.

He remembered the way their dark slender arms had reached for him through the mist, and he could hear the sound of his own terrified screaming in his head, but after that...nothing. From that moment on, his memory was blank.

Or at least, he had no memory of the waking world. What had gone on inside his mind, though. That was a different story.

Did I...fall asleep again?

Although he had no way of knowing what had happened to him between the screaming that had rendered him unconscious and the light of the D-Coders waking him up, during that lapse in time his brain hadn't been idle. In fact, the void between when he had fallen into a comatose state and the moment his eyes had opened to reveal the faces of Daichi and Matty bending over him, he had found himself in a strange place that was empty of all emotions. A sense of detachment from reality had kept him isolated from all the pain that was still threatening to overwhelm him, and in the privacy of his own mind, he had been able to grieve in peace.

Even now, he could still remember the feeling of being surrounded by a deep blackness, and without the use of his five senses, he had felt as if the darkness was closing in all around him. In some ways, the dusky atmosphere had seemed rather comforting, but it had also made him feel very lonely. Deep within the black void, he hadn't even been able to feel his own body, and without any sound or the ability to smell anything within the confines of his gloomy prison, he had allowed the empty feeling in his heart to wash over him.

I was all alone with nobody for company. It was like time had come to a complete standstill, and I was stuck somewhere in the void between.

With his arms wrapped tightly around his knees, he had floated within the darkness for what seemed like a long time, and relishing the silence and solitude of his escape from reality, he hadn't made any effort to raise his head or to search for a way out of the black void. Somewhere deep within the bitter recesses of his own troubled mind, he had known what he was doing could potentially be very dangerous, but for some reason he hadn't been able to summon enough energy to care. After a while, he had felt himself start to fade away, and while that should have set off the alarm bells in his brain and sent them into a frenzy, he had continued to ignore the small voice trying to whisper a warning in his ear.

It would have been so easy to let go, and if he had allowed himself to give in to the darkness, he could have quietly disappeared into a state of nothingness. It would have set him free, and he would have finally been able to let go of all the pain in his heart.

But at what cost?

With no one there to hurt or harm him anymore, the darkness could have taken him easily, but was that what he truly wanted? He had been so close to giving up, but even though he had wanted desperately to let go of the bitterness that was eating him up inside, something had held him back. He had tried so hard to hide himself away from the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him, and being unable to express those feelings to Dai and Matty, he had wanted to scream and cry until he was out of breath. There was also a side of him that was so angry he had wanted to lash out at someone or something for all the pain and misery that still remained bottled up inside his fragile heart, but even then he couldn't seem to let go of his desire to fix the rift between all three of them and to make things right again in all of their hearts. There was something inside of him that seemed broken beyond repair, and though he felt strangely dead inside, that small spark of hope remained. It refused to leave him in peace, and no matter how hard he had tried to push it aside and let it disappear into the darkness, it had stubbornly remained buried within the most vulnerable part of his heart.

He knew what he had to do, but every time Dai reached out to him, he found it was simply too difficult for him to pull away from the goggle-headed leader, and that was a huge problem for him. He had made his choice, but giving up on Dai was like giving up on a part of himself, though he didn't really have a choice. It was the only way to protect the friendship Dai shared with Matty, and it would prevent the younger twin from attacking Dai in an incident like what had happened the night before. It made sense, since Matty was someone he knew would always remain a part of his life, and Dai had never been the type of friend he could always count on. No matter how much he wanted to hold onto Dai, protecting Matty was the logical choice.

It's the only choice. Even during those rare moments when Dai acts like I might matter to him, I can't accept his kindness. I can't come between him and Matty, no matter how much I want to be a part of their friendship.

The best thing to do would be to confront Dai and end what little of a friendship they did share for Matty's sake, but the thought of going through with something so drastic made him want to throw up. Instead, he wanted to flee from Dai and the responsibility of doing the right thing, and thus he could continue to desperately hang onto the possibility of finding a way into Dai's heart.

It was that tiny glimmer of hope in his heart that kept him believing he could pull off a miracle, and though he had tried so hard to ignore it, it had kept whispering insistently that there must be a way to become Dai's true friend without hurting Matty. And maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Dai really did care about him after all.

That small spark had kept him floating quietly in the darkness even as the comfort of solitude had tried to push its way into his heart, and instead of allowing the darkness to completely consume him, that annoying flicker had kept him yearning for what he couldn't have. It wouldn't allow him to let go of the emotions in his heart, and it had refused to let him succumb to his own terrible weaknesses.

And because of that he hadn't been able let go. It wouldn't let him disappear so he could finally be at peace.

Instead, he had remained suspended in the darkness with his eyes closed and his arms wrapped around his knees, and almost against his own will, the painful memories of Matty trying to hurt him and the terrible fights he had endured with Dai had begun to flash over and over again in his head like an endless movie reel that was playing back all of the stupid decisions and terrible things he had done over the course of his young life thus far, but even then he had been unable to give in to the hurtful memories and allow himself to drift away and be consumed by his own sadness and misery. No matter how much he had tried to ignore those memories, his painful past had continued to circle though his mind like a revolving door, and though he had made every attempt to shut off his brain and block out his thoughts, the flashbacks had refused to leave him alone.

Despite his efforts to force Matty and Dai out of his mind, their faces had refused to disappear, and just when he had thought he would be trapped forever within the darkness of his own mind, with no choice other than to relive every moment of regret in his life over and over again, he had seen the light.

It had come to him out of nowhere in the shape of a pillar that was made up of swirling red and yellow light, and it had exploded out of the depths of the darkness without any kind of warning whatsoever. The light had been so powerful, it had almost blinded him with the strength of its enticing glow, and somehow it had shaped itself into a large doorway.

It was so beautiful and so bright...

In fact, it was brilliant enough that there was no way he could have avoided looking at it, even if he had wanted to, and lifting his head, he had watched in fascination as the door had suddenly opened, as if beckoning him forward.

It was at that moment when Ryoko finally become aware of just how horribly lonely he was, and that small spark of determination that had somehow managed to survive within his troubled soul had burst free from his heart which such powerful force that the darkness around him had receded and dropped its hold on him. No longer was he able to feel the deep blackness brushing against his skin or tugging at his clothes, and summoning a burst of energy he hadn't known he still possessed, he somehow found the strength to push his haunting memories to the back of his mind and to climb to his feet. From there he had practically dived through the door, desperate to leave the darkness behind, and the next thing he knew he had found himself cradled in the safety of Matty's comforting arms, his whole body glowing with red and yellow light. Though his mind had still been somewhat groggy upon regaining consciousness, it hadn't taken him very long to figure out the source of the light, and realizing almost instantly that it was coming from the two people who were causing him so much conflict within his heart, he had panicked and quickly broken the contact he shared with Dai, which had severed the connection between all three of them.

But not before he had felt the swirling mass of emotions the three of them were sharing and the two heartbeats that had been pounding in sync with his own.

There had been so many feelings twisted together in that tangled mess of chaotic thoughts that his already battered mind and vulnerable heart had been unable to decipher which emotions belonged to who and what the meaning behind them was, and because of that the connection between them had only succeeded in making him even more anxious rather than providing him with a sense of comfort.

It had also brought back a memory he had forgotten until just now. A similar incident had happened between himself and Dai earlier that morning, and thinking back on the experience now, he could feel himself start to tremble with uncertainty. The light he had shared with Dai had felt very similar to the light that had engulfed him only moments ago, and something about it both fascinated and frightened him all at the same time. Underneath the swarm of conflicting emotions swirling within his heart, he had felt something warm and caring within that connection, and it was a sensation he had felt from both Dai and Matty.

But that's impossible. Because if that was true, then that would mean...

Ryoko blinked to clear his vision, and frowning he turned to stare stupidly at the group of captured Digidestined, unsure of what to make of the situation. He felt disoriented and confused, as if everything he was experiencing was happening to him in a dream, and somewhere behind him he could hear the terrible whispers calling to him from the black pit. A faint purple mist lingered on the air, and uncertain of his surroundings, which seemed threatening and unnatural to him, he stared mutely at the goggle-headed leader, who was gazing back at him with an expression that was surprisingly very calm and composed.

How had he ended up in this situation, and why was Dai looking at him like that?

I barely understand what's going on, and he's acting like this is the most normal thing in the world. How can he look so unconcerned about the whole situation when deep down inside I feel like I'm falling apart?

Ryoko suddenly felt a stab of anger in his heart, and ignoring the faint warning in his head, he glared at the goggle-headed leader in silence, unsure of how to proceed. There was movement to his left, and sensing Tirimon's presence, he reached out a hand to his partner, his body craving the warmth of a friendly touch.

Tirimon came to him without any hesitation, and nuzzling his side, the large champion said gruffly, "I'm glad you're awake. I was worried about you."

"We were all worried about you," Angelicmon said softly, standing off to one side at a respectful distance.

Ryoko gently stroked his partner's soft nose, and leaning into the large champion, his face hiding within the fox digimon's fur, he said quietly, "I'm not okay."

"I know you're not," Tirimon murmured, letting out a deep sigh. "Please, let them help you."

"I don't know if I can."

The words were barely more than a whisper, which only Tirimon would have been able to hear, and tears stinging his eyes, Ryoko frowned when he felt a sudden change in the air. Looking up, he glanced suspiciously at Dai, and feeling embarrassed, he quickly looked away again when he realized the goggle-headed leader was still gazing at him with an intensity that made him want to put even more distance between them.

Why was the air suddenly so cold, and why did it look slightly different than it had before?

"Careful, Dai," Matty suddenly warned, placing a hand on the goggle-headed leader's shoulder. "That purple mist isn't some kind of ordinary mist. Not even close."

"Not to burst your bubble, but I kind of figured that out for myself," Dai said dryly, giving the younger twin a small smile. "Even I can tell that much. But if it's not what you and I would call normal, as you put it, then what exactly is it?"

Huh? Not...normal?

Despite Matty's words, Dai didn't seem all that concerned by the ominous warning, and the lazy drawl and hint of amusement in the goggle-headed leader's words confused Ryoko. Before falling unconscious, he hadn't failed to notice the way Dai and Matty had been talking about him right in front of his face, but the words had failed to register in his mind. For some reason, he hadn't been able to understand exactly what they were saying about him, and unfortunately the same appeared to be true now that he was awake again. Their words were clear to him, but he was so caught up in his own misery, his mind seemed unable to process the meaning behind what they were saying, and thus he could only watch them in complete bafflement and attempt rather unsuccessfully to make sense of what they were saying.

Something about the mist? Something to do with the mirrors maybe? Those crystals are full of darkness. That much I know for sure. There's darkness in the Ice Caverns, and the mirrors are what cause us to become victims of the evil in this place. Did that happen to Matty? I know I'm the source of all his pain, there's no question about that, so why is he acting so nice to me all of a sudden? Before I fell unconscious, he was being so warm and friendly. Could it be that the darkness is affecting Matty? Maybe it wasn't really Matty who attacked me, but the darkness inside him. But if there's darkness inside him, then that would be my fault. I would be the one who caused the evil in the Ice Caverns to get inside his heart...

Ryoko suddenly felt Matty's eyes on him, which made him blush, and looking serious, the younger twin said, "That purple mist is a physical representation of the darkness in Ryoko's heart. The further he slips away from us, the stronger the mist becomes. If we don't help him, it'll eventually consume both him and the Spirit Chip entirely."

Physical...what?

Ryoko frowned, and glancing at his parents and the rest of the Digidestined, he could see them staring at Matty in shock, their faces displaying a wide range of emotions. Ogremon was shaking his head and sending the pit dark looks, and Embermon was the very definition of indignant, right from the tips of his ears to the tip of his tail. Most of the digimon looked concerned, and Mickey's face was white with fear. Takara looked very upset, as if she was on the verge of tears, and Sam looked surprisingly thoughtful, as if he was carefully weighing Matty's words. Tai and Davis were both frowning, as if they knew something he didn't, and while Joe merely looked worried, Kari looked sad. There was a flash of pain in her amber eyes, and turning to look at his mother, Ryoko could see the same pain reflected in the rosy-haired Digidestined's cinnamon gaze. His father, though, was a different story. The former musician's sapphire eyes held the same intensity that was present in Dai's gaze, and Ryoko had the strangest feeling that his dad was trying to communicate something to him.

Dad...I wish I could be more like you...

"Great," Dai muttered, making a face. "Just what I needed to hear. Better get to work then, I guess."

"I suppose," Matty agreed, giving Dai's shoulders an affectionate squeeze before pulling away.

The two shared a look of mutual understanding, and once again Ryoko was able to sense a new kind of warmth and closeness between Dai and Matty. They seemed very comfortable and at ease with each other, and all the subtle tension that had existed between them before he had fallen unconscious had disappeared entirely. They were making no effort to hide their affection, and if anything they were being more forward with their feelings for one another than what they normally displayed in public on a regular basis. Neither seemed the least bit embarrassed to express their emotions, and it caught him completely off guard.

As he stood there watching them, he received flashes of the way Dai and Matty had reacted to one another when he and the goggle-headed leader had first entered the chamber, and what he remembered completely contradicted what he was seeing now. The desperation in their embrace and the way they had tried to talk over each other. The need to understand and to forgive. All of that was gone, as if it had never happened. Instead, only a sense of companionship and mutual respect remained. And underneath all of that he could sense the strength of a bond that was so powerful, nothing would ever be able to break it.

That was true friendship. That was the kind of friendship that had never been his.

No wonder Matty must hate me. I tried to take that away from him. How could he ever forgive me for something like that? I don't deserve his forgiveness, but I can't stand the pain either. It frightens me, no matter how much he wants to hurt me. Even if he had forgiven Dai and doesn't want to attack him anymore, he'll still want to punish me if I get too friendly with Dai. And yet I still love him and want to protect him. I still can't let him go, not even for my own happiness...

"Ryoko?"

Ryoko blinked, trying to clear away the fog in his mind, and realizing it was his partner who had spoken, he gave the large champion a reassuring pat. Matty's words had registered in his mind, and he knew they were talking about him, but his brain was still having a hard time deciphering what the words actually meant.

Something about the darkness. Something about the mist reacting to the darkness in my heart. But...how is that possible?

Ryoko looked over at his parents again, and through they weren't able to talk, he could see them still trying to speak to him with their eyes. Deep down inside, he was sure his heart knew exactly what they were trying to say to him, but the mental block in his mind refused to grant him access to the feelings that were buried underneath the darkness clouding his memories. It was a barrier that he seemed unable to cross, and no matter how hard he tried to break free, he couldn't seem to shatter the wall that was causing his brain to experience a distorted version of reality.

All of his friends and family had been captured by Vampiramon in an ambush, that much he remembered, and though it had been important for him to find Matty, he still felt like what had happened to his parents and the rest of the Digidestined was somehow all his fault. He had been given an opportunity to prevent them from falling into a trap, but he had chosen to save Matty at the cost of leaving the rest of the group to suffer a terrible fate. And for what? In the end, he hadn't needed to save Matty at all. Instead, he had ended being the one who needed saving.

The anger he felt at himself for his own stupidity was what had made him blame Dai for the fate of his parents and friends, and that was why he had lashed out so viciously at the goggle-headed leader. But it wasn't Dai's fault. The goggle-headed leader hadn't done anything wrong. It was his own fault, and he had needed someone to blame to protect himself from the truth.

I wanted to see Matty. I needed to see Matty...

Ryoko backed up slightly towards the pit again, conscious of the way Tirimon refused to leave his side, and wrapping his arms around himself he stared at his cousin with a touch of apprehension, uncertain of what to do. There was no denying that earlier the thought of confronting Matty had frightened him, and while he had expected his cousin to be angry with him, which the younger twin had every right to be, instead Matty had acted kind and caring towards him. Gone was the horrible darkness that had spilled from Matty's heart in an endless wave of black sludge, only to be replaced by a river of warmth and soft light.

The part that stood out to him the most, though, was the change in Matty's expression. Those amber eyes were normally mild and friendly, with a soft sparkle and a touch of affection, but the night before those same eyes had blazed with cold hatred and a sense of bitter resentment. He could still remember that look with astonishing clarity, but that too hadn't been present since meeting up with Matty. The younger twin's amber eyes had displayed nothing but concern and a gentle touch of love and remorse that had made his heart ache with a sense of longing and despair.

Everything about Matty had felt the way it was supposed to feel again, and the younger twin's touch had seemed wonderfully familiar. There was no sense of malice surrounding Matty's behaviour anymore, and the feel of the younger twin's body had lost that sharp touch that had made him act like an entirely different person. The Matty that had attacked him the night before had acted so alien and foreign, but there was no trace of that stranger now. It was an entirely different experience than what he had suffered through during the night, and both his body and his heart didn't know what to make of it.

I don't understand. He's being so friendly towards me, and to Dai.

Once again, the way Dai and Matty were looking at each other made him pause, and unable to look away, he could tell immediately that there was something about their body language that suggested they were closer to each other than they had ever been before. What could have happened between them, and whatever it was, did it mean he had somehow been successful in hiding how he really felt about Dai? Was that the reason why Matty no longer seemed to hate him anymore?

That would explain why he's been acting so nice to me ever since I got here.

Unless his theory about the darkness was true. But if it wasn't...

Then I've done my job. I've done what I was supposed to do.

He should have been happy that his efforts were successful, but instead he felt absolutely miserable. There was a deep ache inside his heart that didn't seem to want to go away, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the hole only seemed to be growing wider.

He was elated for Matty's sake, he truly was, but at the same time he didn't know if he could handle hiding his feelings anymore. If he was truly honest with himself, then he couldn't deny that he hated the result, and that was what was eating him up inside.

Because I know I didn't imagine the connection I've always felt with Dai, and now it's always going to be something that's beyond my reach...

It wouldn't have been so bad if he could be certain that Dai cared about him in return. Just knowing that was true would have given him the strength he needed to protect Matty and to keep his feelings locked up inside, but instead he had been left to flounder in the darkness. With no one to guide him and keep him sane, he was left to the mercy of his own insecurities, and it was that sense of self-loathing that would eventually drive him mad. Deep inside his heart he was certain there was no way Dai could ever grow fond of him, or at least learn to care about him a little bit, and because of that even if Matty wasn't in the picture, a reconciliation of sorts between them would always be impossible. Knowing that, it was only too easy to allow the darkness into his heart.

Simply put, a friendship between Daichi and himself was utterly impossible, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. It was one of those things that was never meant to be, and no matter how deep of a hole it created inside his heart, one that he knew he would never be able to fill, it was something he was going to have to accept, whether he wanted to or not.

It won't change how I feel, though. Nothing will. I'll always care about you. You'll have my loyalty till the end, no matter what happens between us. I'll always stand by your side. That's something the darkness can never take away from me.

"So let me get this straight. You're telling me if I can get rid of that purple mist, it might give me a chance to knock some sense into your cousin?" Dai asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Matty smiled slightly in return, his amber eyes sparkling softly in the dim light of the cavern, and nodding in agreement, the younger twin said, "The mist is connected to the darkness in Ryoko's heart. If you can make it disappear entirely, it will mean you've somehow managed to free is heart from the darkness."

"Is that a challenge?" Dai asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Maybe," Matty replied, looking suddenly amused as he glanced over at DarkAngelicmon. "In fact, I'm sure it is."

Dai made a show of adjusting the goggles on his head, and glancing at the fallen angel as well, who was watching the scene unfold with obvious interest, he straightened his shoulders and said firmly, "Challenge accepted then."

No...Don't come any closer. Stay away from me!

Ryoko sensed immediately what was coming, and feeling a sudden flash of panic in his heart, he reached out to grab a fistful of Tirimon's fur, hoping to channel some of his partner's strength. Looking down, he noticed that his hands were shaking badly, and taking another step back, he said in a trembling voice, "I told you to stay away from me."

"And I told you I wasn't going to listen to you," Dai said easily, his dark eyes growing even more intense as the goggle-headed leader slowly came towards him. "You've been avoiding me for years now, and I'm not going to let you get away with it anymore. I think its time you and I had a talk, and I don't mean some idle chit-chat about the weather or something. I mean a real talk. Something you've done everything humanly possible within your power to avoid."

Dai...

Ryoko suddenly felt like his feet had become frozen to the ground, and unable to move, he felt a burst of emotions spill over in his chest that was so overwhelming the feelings almost knocked the wind out of him and sent him falling to his knees. How often had he yearned to hear those exact words from Dai's mouth, only now that what he had always dreamed about had finally come to pass, he was unable to respond in the way that he had rehearsed over and over again in his mind more times than he could possibly count. He had wanted to be ready in case the impossible ever actually happened, but thanks to what had happened with Matty, the chance to tell Dai the truth had been stolen from him.

Words that should have filled his heart with joy now scared him beyond belief, and he could feel the panic beginning to overflow inside his broken soul. While he might not know exactly what Dai wanted to say to him, for some reason his mind was convinced that he didn't want to hear whatever it was the goggle-headed leader needed to confess.

It'll probably be bad. If I let him speak he'll just tell me what I've been dreading since the beginning. All this time, I at least had some hope, because not knowing for sure how he felt about me either way meant there was at least a chance for us to be friends. Even despite everything that's happened with Matty, there was still that tiny bit of hope that I could somehow still do the impossible. However pathetic that small chance might have been, it still gave me something to hold on to. But if I'm forced to sit here and listen to him rant about how much he hates me, I'll no longer even have the illusion of hope. It'll all be taken away from me, and then I'll be left with nothing...

"So, are we going to do this the easy way, or are you going to make me do this the hard way?" Dai asked, taking another step towards him.

Ryoko tried to speak, but he seemed unable to form a coherent sentence. Eventually he gave up trying, and in the silence that ensued, he let go of Tirimon and continued to back away towards the edge of the pit.

"He only wants to hurt you even more than he already has. Are you going to let him do that to you?"

The sudden words of a disembodied voice inside his head made him stumble in surprise, and letting out a soft gasp he put his head in his hands to block out the sharp burst of pain behind his eyes. As he struggled to catch his breath, he could feel his heart beginning to pound rapidly inside his chest, and fighting to gain control over his own emotions, he winced as his vision began to grow foggy.

Who are you? What do you want from me?

"You're nothing to him. He only cares about Matty, and rightfully so. You tried to ruin their friendship. You tried to take what wasn't yours, and now you will pay the price for it."

"No!"

Ryoko heard the scream from his own mouth, and as his eyes snapped open, he had to blink a few times to clear his vision. Even then, he had to squint in order to see Dai and Matty, and trying desperately to focus on their faces, he suddenly realized the problem wasn't his vision at all. It was the purple mist that was seeping out of the giant chasm. The thick violet gas had somehow become more concentrated, and it was beginning to fill up the chamber, making it difficult to see. A large portion of the mist began to swirl around the Spirit Chip of Loyalty, and it was so thick Ryoko could just barely make out the blue glow of the Spirit Chip itself as it tried desperately to penetrate through the thick mist.

The light of the Spirit Chip is fading...

For some reason the thought of the Spirit Chip losing its sapphire glow greatly upset him, and looking down at himself he let out a shocked gasp that seemed to echo off the distant walls of the chamber. Though he wasn't quite sure when or how it had happened, somehow his body has also become surrounded by the purple mist. As he stood there staring stupidly at his trembling fingers, frightened by how pale his skin looked, he could feel the violet mist trying to seep beneath the surface of his flesh. Not only that, he could also feel it swirling around his heart, and it was so painful it made his chest feel like it was going to explode.

"Ryoko!" Tirimon shouted, making a move to leap towards him.

"No, stop!" Angelicmon warned, stepping in front of the large champion to prevent him from coming any closer.

Tirimon let out an impatient growl, and glaring at the angel, he said, "What are you doing?"

"Just wait," Angelicmon said quietly, placing a reassuring hand on the fox digimon's flank.

"But-"

"Let Dai and Matty handle it. They're the only ones who can get through to him now."

"But..."

Though the argument registered somewhere in the back of Ryoko's brain, he barely heard the exchange of words. Somewhere inside his heart there was a battle raging between his conflicting emotions, and it was hard to tell which side was winning.

I can't stand the darkness. It's tearing me up inside and ripping me apart...

Behind him, Ryoko could hear strange sounds coming from deep inside the bowels of the giant chasm, and though he couldn't be sure exactly what was going on, he knew the sounds were coming from the dark shadows that were hunting him. They were getting restless, and the growing concentration of mist seemed to be giving them more strength.

"We're coming for him. He's ours now."

I won't let you have him. I won't let you take him from Matty!

Ryoko tried his best not to focus too closely on the shadows, but despite his efforts he could hear the sounds of their hands and feet searching for crevices in the rock to use for leverage. They were looking for footholds and handholds to climb out of the pit again, and he was finding it almost impossible to ignore their terrible whispers. They were speaking to him inside his mind, and he could hear them taunting him with the truth he didn't want to hear.

"This again?" Dai asked, his dark eyes narrowing into a frown. "Let me ask you something. Is this your way of trying to escape from me?"

Escape? Does he know I'm trying to protect Matty? Does he know the truth about my feelings?

Ryoko was unable to prevent himself from letting out a strangled sob, and cowering like a wounded animal, he continued to back away from the goggle-headed leader.

Watching his movements, Dai seemed to understand immediately what was going on, and jumping into action, the goggle-headed leader said harshly, "Oh no. You're not getting away from me that easily this time!"

No, don't say it. Don't hurt me!

Ryoko panicked as Dai came towards him with a pair of dark eyes that were overflowing with determination, and unable to face the inevitable confrontation between them that had been building for years now, his body reacted instantly to the threat.

Turning, he proceeded to race back towards the chasm, but in his current state he was no challenge for the goggle-headed leader. Even on a good day, Dai was stronger, faster, and more physically fit than he was, and thus his battered and bruised form didn't stand a chance against the other boy. Dai was able to catch up to him easily, and he let out a gasp of pain as the goggle-headed leader tackled him to the icy ground. The breath he had been holding escaped from his lungs in a series of choking coughs, and groaning in pain he rested for a moment under Dai's heavy weight, trying unsuccessfully to orient himself.

"I'm sorry," came the soft whisper in his ear, the tone displaying what sounded like genuine regret.

Is this really Dai? He doesn't usually apologize to me. Not like this...

Ryoko let out a soft moan as he was pulled into a sitting position, his ribs protesting the sudden movement, and feeling a pair of steady arms go around him, Dai said in an uncharacteristically serious voice, "Don't make me do that again. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

You're hurting me right now. You're always hurting me.

His ribs felt better now that Dai had gotten off him, which had relieved the pressure on his chest, and sagging against the goggle-headed leader's torso he took a moment to try and catch his breath. When he was finally able to speak, the words still came out in a gasp. "Really? You have a...funny way...of showing it."

Dai's laughter was soft, and nodding his head, he said, "For the record, I did apologize. I know you're already injured, and I don't want to make your injuries any worse, but if you're going to force me to knock some sense into you, I won't hesitate to do just that if that's what it takes to get you to listen to me."

Ryoko still couldn't breath properly, and struggling to pull himself out of Dai's grip, he made an attempt to slide himself across the ice towards the pit and away from the goggle-headed leader. Not surprisingly, his efforts were unsuccessful, and losing his head completely, he cried, "No, I can't! I can't do this!"

I can't let him hurt me anymore, and I can't hurt Matty like this either. If I talk to him, I won't be able to hold back my feelings anymore, and if he finds out the truth, he'll hate me even more than he already does. And Matty. Matty will never forgive me...

"I've really missed you lately," Dai murmured, his voice calm and steady.

What?

Ryoko was so shocked by the unexpected words that for a moment he completely lost his will to fight. Instead, he slumped against Dai's shoulder in disbelief, and letting his arms hang limply at his sides, he allowed himself a brief rest. There was no sense of urgency in the goggle-headed leader's confession, and he didn't seem to be in any kind of hurry to get the Spirit Chip. Not only that, Dai also seemed quite content to remain close to him, despite the purple mist that was swirling around his body.

Wait a minute. The mist...

Ryoko could see it surrounding his own limp form, and yet despite the fact that he was in physical contact with Dai, the mist didn't seem to touch the goggle-headed leader in the slightest. For reasons he couldn't understand, the violet fog seemed unable to penetrate Dai's heart, and thus it merely brushed the goggle-headed leader's skin before slipping away again.

But why?

All of a sudden, Ryoko needed to know, and without turning his head, he whispered, "Do you feel it?"

"It's cold," Dai replied, refusing to let go of him. "But if you think that's going to stop me, it won't. I'm not afraid of the darkness, and you shouldn't be either."

Ryoko knew he was shivering, but despite the arms circling his body, he couldn't seem to get warm. Dai's earlier words continued to haunt the dark corners of his mind, and for just the briefest of moments he could once again feel that special connection he knew he had always shared with the goggle-headed leader since the very beginning. That wasn't something he had just imagined as a young child. It was real, and it was something he had struggled with for years. He couldn't give up on that feeling, even if he would never be able to indulge in it.

If this keeps up, I won't be able to hide my feelings anymore. I won't be able to hold back, and Matty will get angry.

"Do you remember what it felt like when our Digivices connected?" Dai asked, his tone light and easy. "I could feel your heart, and I know you could feel mine. It felt a lot like when Matty and I both connected with you at the same time."

Ryoko shuddered at the memory, and squeezing his eyes shut, he whispered, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do. I felt a lot of things, and not all of them were bad."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know exactly what I'm talking about," Dai replied, his grip tightening ever so slightly. "Do you really think I'm that stupid? Do you really think I don't notice when things aren't right between us? You haven't been acting like yourself ever since we went to visit Tal and the others at Highton View Terrace, and you've been trying your hardest to avoid me these last four weeks. It's been even worse ever since we came to the Ice Caverns. I don't...feel you like I used to anymore."

Wait. The connection I've always felt I shared with him. Does that mean...did he feel it too?

Ryoko was speechless, and unable to respond, he kept his face turned away from the goggle-headed leader. There was a part of him that wanted to return Dai's hug, but he knew he couldn't. If he allowed himself to slip, even just for a moment, he knew he would never be able to stop himself from blurting out the truth.

"Why?" Dai asked quietly in his ear, an edge to his tone. "Why have you been avoiding me? Don't try to deny it. You know it's the truth."

Ryoko shook his head, and burying his face against the goggle-headed leader's shoulder, he mumbled, "Even if it were true, why does it matter? Nothing matters anymore."

"It's matters to me, and it matters to you too."

The certainty in Dai's tone caught Ryoko off guard, and lifting his head, he found himself gazing into the goggle-headed leader's dark eyes. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, and feeling suddenly frightened, he snapped, "What makes you say that?"

"When we were by the water," Dai replied, gripping his shoulders tightly. "I saw it in your eyes. The way you looked at me when...when you reached for me. You were trying to tell me something. What was it? What are you hiding from me?"

Unlike some of his other memories, that was a moment he remembered only too well. So well, in fact, that it made his chest ache with sadness. It was true that he had been trying to say something to Dai, but because of his loyalty to Matty, he had been unable to express his affection for the goggle-headed leader in words. Instead, he had attempted to convey all of his emotions through a single hug, which he knew in his heart hadn't been nearly enough to properly express his feelings for Dai.

And yet somehow he still felt something, even though I tried my best to hide the truth...

"For a moment there, I felt it," Dai said, refusing to look away from him. "That feeling I used to always feel when you and I are together. I've felt it since we were kids. Haven't you felt it too?"

Ryoko could feel a small spark of panic beginning to grow inside his chest, and violently shaking his head, he whispered, "No, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't feel anything. I've never felt anything."

Of course I can feel it. It haunts me all the time. But I thought...I thought I was the only one...

"That look in your eyes," Dai said slowly, watching him closely. "I saw a different side of you this morning, one I didn't think I'd ever see. The way you held onto me, like you didn't want to let go. You seemed desperate, but why, I have no idea. There's something you're not telling me, and I think I have a right to know what it is. What are you hiding from me? What are you so afraid of?"

How? How is he able to read me so easily? He never seemed able to do that before. I...I can't do this. I can't talk to him. If I do, he'll figure out the truth, and once that happens I won't be able to take back my words. Everyone will know how I really feel, and Matty will hate me forever...

"I never thought I'd ever see you show a moment of weakness," Dai murmured, leaning into him to whisper softly in his ear. "And I know the way you acted was genuine. There was something there, I know it. What's holding you back? Why won't you tell me what's going on in your head?"

Ryoko violently shook his head in denial, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to pull himself out of Dai's grip. There was so much he wanted to say, but because of Matty, he had no choice but to remain silent.

Earlier, he had suspected Dai would confront him again about his bruises, but even though he had been expecting it, he still wasn't prepared for the onslaught of questions. More importantly, though, he hadn't prepared himself for the possibility that Dai would act so kind and caring towards him, and as a result, he felt disoriented and confused. There was also a giant ball of anxiety building up in his stomach, and it was starting to make him feel slightly sick. "There's nothing. I don't feel anything."

"That's a lie," Dai said bluntly, sounding impatient. "Tell me why you've let this rift grow between us."

"You're imagining things. There was never anything there to begin with."

To his surprise, Dai's expression suddenly softened, and jerking him close again, the goggle-headed leader said quietly, "You know, I was really worried. When you pulled away from me this morning, it felt so...final. I thought I might have lost you for good."

Unable to stop himself, Ryoko let his cheek come to rest against the goggle-headed leader's shoulder, and trying to speak around the sudden lump in his throat, he choked out, "You...were afraid...to lose me?"

"You have no idea," Dai replied, his tone hinting at a sea of emotions simmering just beneath the surface of his words. "Why do you think it makes me so angry when you keep things from me all the time? I can't help you when you do that."

"You want to help me?"

"I know you're not that stupid," Dai shot back, tugging lightly on his jacket. "You know the answer to that every bit as well as I do."

He's being so nice to me. I don't think he's ever acted like this towards me for so long before. From everything he's saying it almost sounds like he wants us to be friends. He's talking like I'm just as important to him as Matty is, but that can't be true. It has to be a trick. He's faking it, that must be it. He's only pretending to be nice to get me to tell him what's really wrong with me. And once he knows the truth, he'll want nothing to do with me. He'll tell Matty, and then they'll both use my feelings to mock me. He won't need me after he gets what he wants from me.

"The way you stared at me by the water in that cave we slept in, that wasn't the first time you've looked at me like that," Dai continued, holding him close in a firm grip. "And I'm thinking it might not even be the second time either."

Moving as if he were in a dream, Ryoko slowly lifted his arms and wrapped them around the goggle-headed leader's torso with an intensity that surprised even him, and gripping the back of the other boy's red jacket in his cold hands, he said softly, "You're imagining things. That's all it is."

"Really? Photos don't lie."

"Photos? What are you talking about?"

"I must have been acting like a jerk to you that day," Dai replied, letting out a deep sigh. "You looked pretty upset when Matty caught you in the background of a photo he took of me one day after school when I was goofing off."

We were fighting, but Dai was acting like nothing had happened. Everybody else was being silly and having fun, but I was miserable that day...

Ryoko remembered that afternoon perfectly, but he had been so caught up in his own despair that he hadn't even noticed Matty taking pictures. Because of that, the younger twin must have caught him in a moment of weakness, but if that was the case, how did Dai find out about it?

There's only one way he could have possibly seen that photo. Matty must have shown it to him, but why? It's not like there would have been anything special about it, unless you count the look on my face.

Which could mean only one thing. If his expression was the only noteworthy thing about the photo Matty had taken, then the look on his face would have been the only reason the younger twin would have bothered to show it to Dai.

But why would Matty do that? If he really did show that photo to Dai because of me, then that would mean he would want Dai to know how much I'm suffering...

Did that mean Matty wanted them to be friends? Or was it so that the two of them could laugh at him behind his back?

"You're nothing to them. They wouldn't be sorry to see you disappear."

"No!"

Ryoko let go of Dai, and covering his ears with his hands, he let out a terrible cry, trying unsuccessfully to block out the voices in his head. The whispers were getting louder and more aggressive, and he was sure he wasn't going to be able to ignore them anymore.

"Hey, what is it? What's wrong?" Dai asked sharply, giving his shoulders a shake.

I know I've hurt them, but they wouldn't want me to disappear. Matty still cares about me. As long as I stay away from Dai, he won't hurt me. He's my cousin! He...he loves me...

"He only cares about your leader. You're nothing to him. He doesn't need you anymore. Both of them would be better off without you."

That's not true! You're lying!

"You are nothing but a problem to your leader. Without you, his life would be so much easier. Without you, Masato Takaishi wouldn't have a reason to hurt him. He will suffer because of you, and the pain will be all your fault."

"Stop! Stop talking to me! Get out of my head!"

"Ryoko! Hey, snap out of it!"

Ryoko could feel somebody shaking him as another scream of garbled words escaped his mouth, and though he was dimly aware of the fact that the voice shouting at him belonged to Daichi, who had called him by his first name, he was unable to respond.

The faint sounds coming from within the pit were growing louder, and twisting around in the goggle-headed leader's grip, Ryoko watched in horror as a pair of glowing violet eyes appeared over the edge of the chasm. The shadow's purple gaze was filled with violence and hatred, but to his surprise, he realized the thing wasn't glaring at him. In fact, it wasn't looking at him at all. Instead the shadow was watching Daichi.

What's going on? Why is it looking at him like that?

Somehow, Ryoko knew instinctively that there was something very wrong with the way the shadows were behaving, and though he wanted desperately to scream out a warning, the words seemed to have gotten stuck in his throat.

Dai, who hadn't see the shadow at all, was still trying to talk to him, but he was unable to process the words. The only thing running through his mind was the fact that he couldn't let the shadows reach the goggle-headed leader.

They're supposed to be coming for me. I should be the one they want!

"It's time," DarkAngelicmon suddenly said in a commanding voice, moving suddenly from where he had been standing motionless a few feet away from the pit. The fallen angel's words echoed across the chamber, and turning to gaze at the two megas who were guarding the main bulk of Digidestined, he said, "Spritemon, hand me the bag of Digivices and crests."

"Why?" Vampiramon interrupted, glancing suspiciously at the fallen angel before turning to gaze curiously at the pit. She stood close to the celestial champion with her arms crossed over her chest, and frowning, she let out a soft sound of disgust as the arms and heads of more shadows began to appear over the edge of the chasm.

DarkAngelicmon must have noticed them as well, which was what had probably prompted him to speak up, and giving the vampire digimon an impatient look, he said briskly, "You want to get the Spirit Chip for our master, don't you?"

"Here," Spritemon said, landing next to the fallen angel and handing over the bag before Vampiramon could protest.

What is he doing? I don't understand what's happening.

Though his vision was slightly obscured by the mist, Ryoko could still make out what was going on with the small crowd that was gathered around DarkAngelicmon, and watching them he felt the blood in his veins turn to ice. He could still feel Dai's hands resting on his shoulders, but instead of shouting in his ear, the goggle-headed leader had also fallen silent, his dark eyes watching the scene unfolding with suspicion.

DarkAngelicmon took the bag from Spritemon with a nod of thanks, and pulling out three crests, he knelt in front of Joe and placed the Crest of Reliability into the doctor's hand, since the cobalt-haired Digidestined was unable to reach for it himself. It seemed like such an odd thing to do, especially since Spritemon and the others had obviously gone to the trouble of stealing the crests in the first place, and as Ryoko stared in disbelief, the fallen angel did the same thing with the Crest of Friendship and the Crest of Sincerity. Both of his parents accepted the crests without hesitation, and unable to speak, they regarded the fallen angel with obvious curiosity.

With all three of the Digidestined sitting at DarkAngelicmon's feet now in possession of a crest, the fallen angel motioned for them to stand up and said in a tone that suggested he expected full cooperation, "Release the first seal surrounding the Spirit Chip."

There was a moment of hesitation, and having temporarily forgotten the feel of Dai's tight grip holding him in place, Ryoko watched in horrid fascination as the fallen angel knelt in front of his parents and said gently, "You want your son to be successful in recovering the Spirit Chip, do you not?"

No, don't listen to him. Don't fall for it!

Ryoko watched his parents glance meaningfully at each other, and unable to speak, they merely climbed awkwardly to their feet and turned to face the pedestal, which was now almost hidden from view by the dark mist. Joe took his cue from the married couple, and standing up as well, he faced the pedestal with a look of apprehension in his dark eyes.

Stop! Don't do it!

The rest of the Digidestined and digimon were also watching the scene unfolding with interest, and though it was harder to see them in the violet mist, since they were further away from the pit, none of them looked as if they disagreed with what their three companions were about to do.

It was strange the way everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, and though Ryoko wanted to protest, he felt like the words had somehow become trapped within his own mind.

Please, don't. You'll make everything worse...

For a moment, it was like time had stopped moving forward, and as he sat there feeling helpless, everything around him seemed to come to a complete standstill. There was darkness everywhere, and then out of the mist, three beams of gray, blue, and green light suddenly burst forth from the crests and combined together within the three Digidestined they belonged to before shooting across the giant chasm towards the pedestal. With the three adults now connected by the light of their crests, the combination of their strength and power was so intense it was able to slice easily through the violet fog, causing the whole cavern to explode with brilliant light. Together, the three beams of light slammed into the barrier surrounding the Spirit Chip of Loyalty, and the colourful mist that made up the first barrier that was keeping it safe from the Powers of Darkness shattered like fragile glass. The force of the blast made the shadows climbing out of the pit hiss with alarm, and the sound of their angry whispers faded to a low murmur that was impossible to decipher. For a moment, the purple mist seemed to clear, and Ryoko was able to see the brilliant radiance of the icy blue light coming from the Spirit Chip imbedded into the pedestal, and a string of words etched into the stone that were written in the ancient language of the Digital World began to glow with an intensity that he was unable to ignore. Though the light of the Spirit Chip was cold and frosty, it felt warm against his cheeks, and closing his eyes he allowed the touch of that light to penetrate the surface of his skin.

It felt so good, and the more he could feel it trying to reach his heart, the more he wanted to reach out and touch it.

But it's still so far away. The chasm that separates us seems so vast...

"Excellent," DarkAngelicmon murmured, taking the three crests back and sticking them inside the bag again before handing the pouch back to Spritemon. "You have played your part exceptionally well. The rest is now up to Daichi and Masato. You may now join the others. Quickly, please. The shadows are stirring."

Ryoko watched as Joe and his parents moved swiftly to join their partners and the rest of the Digidestined again, which once again placed them under the watchful eyes of Spritemon and Jestermon, and staring stupidly at the Spirit Chip, he let out a gasp when at last his brain finally realized the true implications of what had just happened.

Now that one of the barriers is gone, my Spirit Chip is even more vulnerable to the darkness...Why would they do that to me? Why would they want to hurt me like that? Is it because of what I did to Matty?

All of a sudden Ryoko felt an irrational surge of anger, and summoning a burst of strength he didn't know he had, he shoved Dai away and turned to glare across the cavern at Joe and his parents. The sound of his harsh breathing seemed dangerously sporadic, and unable to ignore the sudden sense of betrayal eating away at his heart, he shouted, "Why would you do that? Why would you listen to him? Don't you realize what you've done?"

Unable to respond, his parents simply stared at him with concern in their eyes, which only made him feel even more angry, though there was no rational explanation as to why. From what he could tell, it looked as if they were attempting to tell him something without using words, but he refused to even consider trying to make sense of their worried gazes.

Everything was going wrong, and somebody was going to get hurt because of it. And if somebody got hurt, it would be all his fault.

I've hurt too many people already. I can't let this go on any longer. I have to get away. I have to leave Dai behind...

Ryoko tried to struggle to his feet, but somehow Dai still had a firm grip on his arm, and unable to accept what was happening, he lashed out at the goggle-headed leader, the anger in his voice echoing across the cavern. "Are you stupid? Why would you let them do that? Why didn't you stop them?"

"They want to help you," Dai said quietly, moving closer to him again and giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. "And I...I want to help you too."

Ryoko froze, unable to comprehend what he was hearing, and staring at the goggle-headed leader, he realized Dai had been trying to say the same thing to him earlier, but he hadn't wanted to believe the other boy's confession at that time anymore than he wanted to believe it now. It was just another one of the many things he had always dreamed of hearing from the goggle-headed leader's mouth, and now that the words had been said several times over, he couldn't bring himself to respond. The atmosphere around him seemed too real and too harsh, and yet somehow he still felt like he was in a dream.

It shouldn't have mattered, and yet the words seemed to pierce the very centre of his heart, and angrily blinking away the tears that were forming again in his eyes, he violently shook his head and said quietly, "You can't help me."

"You're wrong," Dai said quietly, leaning forwards to speak quietly in his ear. "I can help you. I know I can."

"That's...impossible."

"I can feel the darkness inside you," Dai said slowly, refusing to let him go. "It burns, but I won't hold back. How can I do that when I can see the shadow behind your eyes, and I can feel it seeping out of your skin and leaking through your pores? You can't tell me you don't feel it. I know that you do. Don't you want to be free from the darkness? Don't you want to leave all your doubts and fears behind?"

Ryoko wanted to pull away, and yet once again he felt like there was something holding him back. Beneath him the floor was cold and icy, but it wasn't strong enough to drive away the warmth of Dai's brave heart. Ryoko could feel the light of the other boy's soul trying to find its way beneath his skin, and it was so powerful, the strength of that mighty force felt like it was tearing apart the walls he had carefully constructed around himself to hide the true feelings in his heart. Somehow Dai's light seemed to be pushing against the darkness that was flowing through his veins, and the power of the two forces battling against one another deep inside his battered body created a searing pain inside his chest.

And somewhere within the depths of the darkness, there was a small sliver of light cowering within the most secretive corner of his heart, and it was desperately reaching out to the goggle-headed leader, wanting more than anything to be drawn into Dai's comforting embrace.

I'm going crazy. I'm being torn apart inside...

"You blamed me for our friends getting captured, but you and I both know we had no other choice, and if they could talk I'm sure your parents and the others would agree," Dai said slowly, glancing over at the group of Digidestined, who were all quick to nod their heads in agreement. "And besides, you were the one who protested about leaving Matty behind to help the others. I only agreed after careful consideration. Earlier, you said the only person you've been loyal to is yourself, but I don't believe that."

"I..."

"And I don't think you really believe it either," Dai said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Ryoko felt suddenly confused, his mind unable to handle the unexpected onslaught of statements that were forcing him to think about things he didn't want to focus on, and shaking his head in denial, he said, "You're making things up."

"Please, Ryoko?" Dai said softly in his ear, keeping a firm grip on his arm. "Let me try to help you. You owe me that much at least."

Ryoko.

There it was again. Dai had called him Ryoko, and he had done so not with the intent of mocking him, but to express concern and affection, and to create a more meaningful and personal atmosphere between them.

Ryoko had heard his first name come from Dai's mouth maybe only a handful of times during the course of his young life, and for every one of those few occurrences he was lucky enough to be a part of, he had felt a sense of something far beyond their understanding taking place. During those rare moments of affection between them, he had felt as if they were on the verge of some important revelation, but each time he had tried to distance himself from the feeling in order to avoid a backlash of insults. As much as he had wanted to indulge in those moments, he would always end up closing himself off from the goggle-headed leader and forcing himself to pull back instead of allowing a sense of understanding to develop between them. He could have let go and just allowed himself to see where their emotions would eventually take them, but instead he would always end up spoiling the atmosphere by acting like a complete coward. As a result of his actions, Dai usually ended up getting angry at him, and he would immediately hide back inside his shell to avoid embarrassment, which allowed him to escape to a dark place inside his heart where the goggle-headed leader could never hurt him.

But hearing his name now from the one person he wanted to hear it from the most, it made him long to hear it again and again. It made him want to forget the past and allow himself to move forward.

Why would he call me that? Is this a trick of some kind? Is he hoping I'll let down my guard so he'll have an opportunity to hurt me?

"Ryoko?" Dai repeated, slipping an arm around his shoulders.

Almost against his own will, Ryoko turned to look at the goggle-headed leader, and unable to stop the pain from entering his voice, he whispered, "Why would you call me that?"

"Because I...because you're my friend," Dai murmured, pulling him back into a hug. "All those times that you were nice to me. I haven't forgotten those moments. Did you really think I wouldn't remember?"

Ryoko pulled back so he could stare into the goggle-headed leader's eyes, and with some surprise, he felt like he was truly seeing the other boy clearly for the first time. Dai's direct gaze was full of concern, but beneath the layer of fear and fierce determination that sparkled within the goggle-headed leader's dark orbs, he could see a subtle glimmer of affection that was steadily growing in strength. Though there were tons of other people and digimon in the chamber, Ryoko knew with undeniable certainty that the warmth of that intense gaze was meant for him, and once again it made his heart swell painfully in his chest. How could anybody possibly fake an expression like that? It was impossible.

He wants to help me, to save me...

And that wasn't something just anybody would do for you. That was something friends did for each other.

"Please?" Dai insisted, refusing to look away from him. "Let me help you."

Ryoko could feel his whole body trembling, and unable to stop himself, he leaned into Dai's shoulder and whispered, "Friends?"

"From the very first day our parents brought us together," Dai said quietly in his ear, hugging him tightly. "Always since the beginning. Since forever."

"You're lying," Ryoko heard himself mumble without much force into the goggle-headed leader's shoulder.

Dai was warm, and being close to him seemed to drive away the cold atmosphere of the chamber. The moments he allowed himself to get close to the goggle-headed leader, it always felt the same. That sense of companionship, a mutual sensation of admiration and respect, a bond of trust, and most of all that sense of warmth and closeness.

A sense that it was meant to be.

"Would I lie about something like this?" Dai replied, the words sounding rough with suppressed emotion in Ryoko's sensitive ears. "Would I do something like that to you?"

Not if you're my friend. Not if you care about me as much as I care about you.

Ryoko could hear the sound of his own laboured breathing as he struggled to remain in control of his emotions, and turning his face away from where he had buried it in the goggle-headed leader's neck, he caught sight of a figure standing only a few feet away from them.

For a moment, Ryoko merely stared at the other boy in confusion, and recognizing the figure's stance, he realized it was the cousin he was trying so desperately not to hurt.

Matty must have followed them after he had tried so hard to escape Dai's relentless pursuit, but because of his own chaotic thoughts, Ryoko hadn't even noticed the younger twin's presence. The way Dai felt now seemed very similar to the way Matty had felt earlier, with neither boy harbouring a touch of darkness in their hearts, and that confused him. It was so different from what he had experienced the night before, and that made him wonder. How could Matty have escaped the darkness, and why didn't Dai feel like the shadow he had glimpsed earlier in the Ice Caverns that he could have sworn looked exactly like the goggle-headed leader?

None of this makes any sense to me.

Matty must have been watching them the whole time, and yet despite what he had witnessed, at no point did the younger twin protest Dai's offer to help, nor did he attempt to interrupt the conversation despite the questionable content that on the surface might have seemed like it was putting him at a disadvantage. Instead, Matty had remained silent, as if content to let them sort out their feelings for each other, but instead of making the situation more bearable, the younger twin's refusal to get involved only made him feel even more nervous. All around them the violet mist was still growing in strength, and the dense fog had given his cousin a look that was dark and menacing, which had rendered the younger twin almost unrecognizable. Matty stood quietly in the darkness, his face covered in shadow, and as a result Ryoko was unable to tell how the younger twin was feeling at the moment. At that distance, it was impossible to judge the expression in Matty's amber eyes, and therefore he had no idea what the younger twin might be thinking. There could be any number of possible thoughts going through Matty's mind at the moment, and afraid of what he might see if he tried to decipher the other boy's behaviour, he felt himself growing even more anxious. A quick glance towards his parents made him realize he was also having trouble seeing the rest of the Digidestined and his enemies, and knowing instinctively that Matty was looking directly at him, he felt his heart start to pound erratically against the bones of his bruised ribcage.

No, I can't. I can't let his happen. Dai already has a best friend, and it's not me. It's Matty. I'm nothing to him. Nothing but a thorn in his side. And even if I wasn't, I can't do this to Matty...

The fact that Ryoko couldn't see his cousin's face very well left him extremely unsettled, and becoming suddenly acutely aware of his close proximity to Dai, he once again felt a deep sense of panic beginning to swell inside his troubled heart. In his mind he could suddenly see a clear image of Matty's face, and what he envisioned inside his head caused a sharp gasp to escape from his lips.

Matty was standing there staring accusingly at him with hatred and a deep sense of loathing in those amber eyes, but what struck him the most was the mask of betrayal that was present on his cousin's face. That look inside his head was for him alone, and he knew exactly what it meant.

In his mind, he could hear Matty's voice whispering insistently in his ears, the words harsh and full of malice.

"How can you do this to me? How can you hurt me like this? Look at you, acting like you think you can replace me. How can you say you love me when even now you're still trying to steal my best friend away from me?"

No, I'm not! I swear! You know you're important to me. You know I love you.

"Liar! You don't love me at all. You want to take away everything that's mine. You'll pay for this. I'll make you both suffer for what you've done to me. I'll make you feel my pain for betraying me!"

Ryoko let out a gasp of horror, and ripping himself free from Dai's grasp, he let out a strangled sound that left him panting for air.

What in the Digiworld was he doing? He had promised himself he wouldn't hurt Matty, and yet here he was, almost on the verge of confessing his true feelings to Dai.

I didn't mean to. I swear! I don't want to hurt you. I can't hurt you!

But he had, and even now he was thinking of doing it again.

I can't let this go on. I have to stay away. If I don't, I know I won't be able to stop myself from slipping...

Was he really so weak that he was able to lose control of his emotions so easily? He was supposed to be protecting Matty, not thinking of his own selfish desires. And no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, he knew there was only one way to protect the amazing friendship that existed between Dai and Matty.

He needed to stay away from them and to keep his distance, but how was he supposed to do something like that? The answer came to him easily, and though it almost severed his heart into pieces, he knew he had no other choice. The only way to ensure that there could never be even the remote possibility of him becoming friends with Dai was to make sure that the goggle-headed leader would never respond to his feelings no matter how much he slipped up.

And the only way to do that was to make Dai completely despise him. That way, there would be no chance of them ever becoming friends.

He already dislikes me, no matter how much he tries to convince me otherwise. It wouldn't take much for him to never want to have anything to do with me ever again.

Just thinking about it made him want to disappear, but at this point he simply had no choice. As much as he cared about Dai, being friends with the goggle-headed leader was something he was going to have to live without. Somehow he was going to have to suppress his feelings and keep them to himself, and as much as he knew it was going to hurt him to have Dai feel nothing for him, in the end it was probably better that way for all of them.

Even if it did make his heart feel like it was dying.

"I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, Ryoko, but one thing I've never done is lie to you," Dai said calmly, his voice beginning to grow in strength and confidence. "No matter what I've done, the truth was always right there in front of your face. You just never took the time to see it."

"No..." Ryoko heard himself whisper, shaking his head in denial. "No...I...I have to..."

I have to protect Matty...

"Don't you...feel the same about our friendship?" Dai asked slowly, reaching for his arm again.

The moment Dai's fingers made contact with the sleeve of his coat, Ryoko felt the anxiety building in his heart explode in a wave of emotions that was so powerful it almost knocked him backwards off his knees.

It was too much. Too much for him to handle.

The warmth of the goggle-headed leader's gentle touch burned the skin beneath the sleeve of his coat, causing the darkness to surge inside him, and unable to accept the implications of Dai's words, he jerked away from the painful light that was trying to burn its way into his heart.

Unable to stop them, hot tears began to spill out onto his cheeks, and trying unsuccessfully to control his breathing, he shook his head in denial and whispered, "No, I don't. I hate you. I hate you for all of this."

I hate you for putting me into this position. I hate you for making me feel so much pain. I...I...No, I don't hate you. I love you. I love you like a brother, like family, like a friend. I hate myself. I hate myself for being a coward. I hate myself for what I've done to you and to Matty. I'm sorry, Dai. I'm sorry it has to be this way. You deserve so much better than what I can give you. You deserve to share your life with real friends, not the ones who keep hurting you all the time.

Because truthfully he knew Dai was better off without him.

Please, forgive me...

Though they still couldn't speak, there was a collective sound of shock and astonishment from the main group of Digidestined and digimon, and although Matty made no move to approach him, Ryoko heard what sounded like a terrible gasp escape from his cousin's throat. The only person who hadn't reacted to his painful words was Dai himself. Instead, the goggle-headed leader remained eerily silent, and though they still sat close to one another on the ground, Ryoko suddenly felt like they were miles apart.

I can feel his eyes on me. They're burning into my soul...

As much as he didn't want to see the consequences of his horrendous actions, he was unable to stop himself from turning to look at the goggle-headed leader. Dai's whole face had turned an alarming shade of white, and as the painful silence grew between them, Ryoko suddenly felt like he was staring at a stone statue, its limbs stark and rigid as it sat there frozen in place without the possibility of one day freeing itself from its state of immobility. Though the face was familiar, Dai looked like a complete stranger, and his dark eyes glittered strangely in the dim glow of the chamber, like a pair of candles desperately trying to stay alight in a violent storm. As they stared at one another in the darkness, Ryoko felt something vital snap deep inside his heart, and holding his breath, he watched in despair as the light slowly faded from the goggle-headed leader's lively dark gaze, the small flickering flames having lost their battle with the storm. Something inside of Daichi Motomiya seemed to die, and as much as Ryoko instantly regretted the words, there was no turning back now. The damage had already been done, and he was left with no choice but to suffer the consequences of his actions.

What have I done? Have I really fallen so far from who I used to be?

One look at the faces of his fellow Digidestined and their digimon told him how horrified they were by his actions, and he could feel their disappointment filling the chamber, but it was the look in his father's eyes that unsettled him most of all. A few feet away from him, Tirimon looked absolutely shocked, and Angelicmon was frowning, his expression thoughtful. Vampiramon merely looked bored as she stood there impatiently tapping her foot against the ice, and Jestermon and Spritemon were smirking at the goggle-headed leader, their expressions making it quite obvious how much they were enjoying his pain. As for Matty, he still hadn't moved from were he stood frozen to the spot a few feet away, and DarkAngelicmon was watching Dai closely, his emerald gaze revealing nothing of what he was thinking. Even the shadows had grown strangely quiet, as if they were waiting for something to happen, and that combined with the expression on his father's face scared him more than he was willing to admit.

After what seemed like forever, though it was probably only a minute or two, Dai finally spoke, and shaking his head in denial, the goggle-headed leader said in a voice that Ryoko had never heard before, "You don't mean that."

"Don't try to tell me how I feel. I always mean what I say."

"I don't believe you," Dai whispered, the painful words echoing in the dead silence of the cave.

Ryoko closed his eyes, and unable to look at the devastated expression on the goggle-headed leader's face anymore, he whispered in return, "I'm sorry."

Please, stop looking at me like that. There's no other way. You should be happy. You should want me to hate you as much as you hate me...

"You once told me you would follow me anywhere," Dai said slowly, the words trembling with suppressed emotion. "Have you forgotten already?"

Ryoko shook his head, and hating himself, he said in a dull voice, "I lied."

He felt Dai slowly let go of him, and sensing the loss of warmth, he wrapped his arms around himself to ward off the chill of the cavern. When he finally found the courage to open his eyes again, he found that the expression on the goggle-headed leader's face hadn't changed.

"You don't look like someone who hates me," Dai said, the words catching as he tried to speak. "I saw that look on your face when you...when you reached for me. You were afraid, but there was no hatred in your eyes. There was only...only..."

Warmth, affection, and fierce loyalty.

He knew exactly what had been in his gaze at that moment, and because of that he knew what it was Dai couldn't bring himself to say.

It was the very thing he was trying so hard to hide, and shaking his head again, he looked away and whispered, "I feel nothing for you."

"That's it. Let the darkness feed your thoughts. Let it consume you, and all your pain will disappear..."

His final words must have been some kind of trigger because all of a sudden the dark chasm exploded with harsh purple light. With a collective scream of triumph, the shadows came bursting forth from the pit with a hunger more powerful than anything he knew any of the Digidestined, including himself, had ever witnessed before, and as they came towards him, the hatred in their eyes made it very clear there was no way any of the digimon would be able to hold them off this time.

They were coming, and this time they weren't going to stop their relentless attack until they had his heart.

"No, stop!" a sudden voice cried, the sound ripping through the cries of the shadows. "It's not you they want!"

"Huh?"

Ryoko turned in confusion to see Matty stumbling towards him, and with amber eyes full of fear, the younger twin gasped, "It's not you they want. It's Dai! They're coming for Dai!"