Heeeeyyy guys, yes I am officially back and I am going to try so so so hard to not leave you guys hanging and upload more regular.
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I stood at the bar waiting to flag down a bar member of staff to order my drink. I waved my hand when I saw one was free and a blond headed guy walked towards me.
"What can I get you?" He asked with a smile.
"I'll have a pink gin and lemonade and two jagger bombs please" the guy put my order in "that'll be $8 please" I tap my card on the reader and then slide it back into my bag.
Once the guy places my order in front of me I downed both jagger shots and grab a straw putting it in my drink I head back to the booth and slump down.
"What's up with you?" Rachel asked noticing my quiet state of the night.
"I'm applying to Florida" I tell the girls "and I asked Lucas to come with me, but he said no and I told him I don't want to do long distance"
"Was that a reaction to him saying no?" Peyton asked and I shook my head sipping at my drink. But was that a lie. Maybe it was a little reaction to him saying no. I guess my heart hurt at that moment and the reaction I gave was a result of that. Leaving it like I did was on me and I knew that, but was too stubborn to admit it to myself let alone the girls or Lucas.
"I don't want to do the long distance I just... I don't see the point in it" I tell him "no offence Rach" she waved it off.
"So what you going to do?" Haley questioned.
I scan the crowd and see Lucas at the bar with the guys. Our eyes connected for a second and my heart hammered against my chest. I didn't want to lose him, but I also didn't want to do long distance so what am I to do.
I then broke that connection and gulp down my drink "I'm going to go and get shit faced and forget about my life for tonight" I shimmy out of the booth and head to the bar again.
I just needed to do me tonight. I needed to feel nothing and getting drunk was my way of doing that.
LPOV
I saw as Brooke downed drink after drink. I gulp at my beer not knowing what was going through her head. We didn't leave it very well back at the cabin and that is what scared me. My feelings for her scare me.
"Okay man what's up with you tonight?" Nathan asked "you've been super quiet"
I take a gulp of my beer and let out a sigh "Brooke and I had a disagreement earlier. We didn't leave it well"
"I'm sure you can fix it later man. Just talk to her" Owen says.
"I don't know if I can" I admit "she's applying to Florida" I tell them "and she said she doesn't want to do long distance and I said I don't want to move that far away for college so I'm not sure what is going to happen with us"
"Oh man that sucks" Jake speaks up "I'm sorry man"
I shake my head at him "don't be sorry. I just didn't see this coming. I didn't think she'd actually apply to a college that far"
"It is a good opportunity Luke. She's never been scouted before. I don't think she ever thought of doing cheerleading in college" Nathan adds.
"That's what she told me too. I just... I don't want to lose her, but I also don't want to give up my dream college to move to Florida" I gulp at my beer again "I just don't know what to do guys"
"Wait isn't that Brooke on the dance floor" Jake says. I follow his eyes and indeed there she was dancing to the music.
"She's really good" Owen commented "no wonder she's a cheerleader"
I watched as Brooke swayed her hips with the music. I could tell she was getting to the drunken stage because she would never have just got up and danced like that in front of everyone.
I hated that she might end up going to Florida, but I couldn't be the one to step in between such a good opportunity that has risen for her as much as I hate that it could mean the end of us. I had to push my selfishness away and deal with the consequence no matter what it would be.
"Get off of me please. Hey stop touching me" I heard her sweet voice bringing me out of my daze "I said leave me alone" I looked in her direction seeing some drunken guy trying to dance closely with her "I said leave me alone I have a boyfriend" I gulp the rest of my beer and head in her direction.
"You heard her mate she said leave her alone" I push the guy away from her.
"And you are?" he asked with a slur.
"I'm her boyfriend" his eyes travelled to Brooke and then back to me "so back off before you make me hurt you"
"Come on Jack" one of his friends pulled at his shirt "Jack come on. You're always starting something" the guy says pulling at him again "I'm sorry mate and I'm sorry miss" I nod turning to Brooke whose face was scrunched up in a mad manner.
"I could have dealt with that just fine Luke" she slurred crossing her arms "I didn't need you to save me"
"Didn't look like that from where I was standing" I reply mad at the fact she was mad at me for helping her "why are you drinking so much anyway Brooke"
She scoffs with a slight chuckle "you can't tell me what to do Lucas or how to act" she says.
"I'm not trying to Brooke. I was just trying to help you"
"Oh yeah and why is that huh? Why try and help me now Lucas? After May you won't be there to help me so why start now"
"That isn't fair Brooke" I say feeling my heart hurt against my chest "it's not fair for you to ask me to put my dreams on hold for Florida"
Her eyes travelled to the floor and then to the bar behind me "I know" she sighs running a hand through her hair "I need a drink" she says going to walk pass me, but I stop her.
"Brooke we need to talk about this"
"And I said I need a drink Lucas. I don't want to talk" she looks into my eyes "I just need a drink" she pulls her arm out of my grip and I watch her head to the bar.
After leaving the club I was hardly able to walk straight. I leaned on Lucas as we headed for the taxi. I remember Lucas helping me into the car and me resting my head on his lap as I lay down in the back with him. He stroked my hair as I told myself not to be sick.
Once we got back to the cabin I felt Lucas help me out of the car after paying the driver. He carried me up to our room and laid me down on the bed.
"And what are you doing Mr Scott?" I ask slurring my words.
"Getting you ready for bed" he answered taking my shoes off and then my trousers "lift your bum"
I did as he asked "are you mad at me Lucas?" I ask remembering our little chat on the dance floor "you've been super quiet all evening"
"I'm not mad Brooke" he says, but his voice sounded sad "I'm just trying to deal with what you want"
"And what is it that I want huh Luke?" he shrugs his shoulder sliding my pj shorts up my legs.
"Lift your bum" I do as he asks again "I don't know what you want Brooke, but it obviously isn't us" he says "you made that perfectly clear"
"I didn't say that Lucas. I just said I didn't want to do the long distance thing"
"Arms up" he says pulling me in a sitting position on the bed taking my top off and then my bra "it's the same thing Brooke. There isn't a compromise in this situation" he puts a t-shirt on me "lay down" He instructs and I do as he says.
"Lucas what we going to do?" my drunken state was starting to catch up on me now as my eyes started to fill super heavy "what we going to do?" I ask again snuggling into the pillow "I don't want to lose you"
"It's okay Brooke go to sleep" he says not answering me.
"Lucas" I say again, but he just kisses my forehead and then I slowly slip into my slumber.
The next morning I woke when the day light shined through the bedroom window. I slowly opened my eyes luckily not with a headache with the amount I drank last night. I looked beside me, but Lucas wasn't there. I push the covers away from me and get out of bed. I have a quick shower and get dressed before heading down stairs.
I get to the kitchen and see no one was about. I go out to the porch and see Lily sitting on the swing chair.
"Hey Lil, where is everyone?" she didn't look up at me or say anything "Lil?" I still get nothing. Okay so she was mad at me "Lily what's wrong?"
Her head snapped towards me and I saw anger in her eyes as she looked at me "how could you give up on Luke like that when he stayed patient with the complicated Julian thing?"
"I'm not giving up Lily" I try to defend myself "I just..."
"Yeah o heard you last night Brooke" Ahh she must have overheard me talking with the girls at the bar "You don't want to do the long distance thing. To me that is you giving up on Lucas and I don't agree with you hurting him like that"
"Me hurting him, Lily I'm hurting as well" I tell her "I asked him to come with me and he said no"
"Oh yeah I heard that part too. You want him to give up his life so you can go live your opportunity"
"I might not even get in to the college" I state
"And what if you do huh?" she questions "what then? Lucas is hurting Brooke and all you care about is yourself. How selfish can you be to ask him to give up everything he has worked for just so you're not alone in Florida?"
"Lily I care about Lucas a lot, but this is a really good opportunity and I can't give that up easily"
"Lucas never asked you to Brooke. He will do anything to make it work long distance. It's you. You're the one that is giving it all up. You haven't even tried to consider it" she stands up from the chair "I thought you were going to be different Brooke. I thought you were Lucas's future, but he doesn't need someone who only cares about themselves" she then barged pass me and into the cabin.
Wow. That was erm... vocal. Was I really being selfish? Did I not consider Lucas. I mean I know I've been a bitch about the whole thing, but I didn't realise it was affecting him as much as Lily bluntly just told me. I like Lucas a lot. I did not want to lose him at all. I need to think. I need to clear my head and just think about it all.
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Love you all so much. Roch xoxo