*A/N: Please review it keeps me motivated.*
I kept my pace steady as I continued towards the village. When I felt like I was losing direction, I stopped — easily finding a sparse patch of trees so that I could use the sun's location to guide me. At the pace I was keeping, it wouldn't be long before the forest thinned out, placing me at the village entrance. I kept my gaze on the forest floor and my hands placed on the trunks of the nearby trees as I tried to maintain my footing. The forest floor was becoming more treacherous the closer I came to my destination. The hours passed with little change, but I kept my bow within reach - the forest was a dangerous place at the best of times. With only the sound of my labored breathing and heavy boots meeting the mud-covered ground to pass the time — it felt like an eternity before noon finally approached.
When my body would take no more abuse without some form of sustenance, I took shelter under the protective shade of a large mahogany tree. I made a small picnic area in the undergrowth and leaned against the moss-covered bark, releasing a deep exhausted sigh. Reaching into my rucksack, I pulled out my canteen and dried meat. As I ate, I tried to keep my mind on what was in front of me instead of the dream that had seemed like so much more. Though, the harder I tried to squash the traitorous wandering thoughts, the easier they seemed to come. I couldn't help but wonder what had been under the strange Kylo Ren's mask. The pull I had felt from the moment I had allowed more than fear to consume me was still there, and the longer I allowed my thoughts to dwell on the 'monster' in a mask, the stronger I felt the pull become. Even now, if I closed my eyes, it was like I could feel him...see him. That thought alone was almost laughable, but even still, I couldn't deny that I could.
I laid my canteen in the purple and yellow sea of wildflowers beside me, inhaling deeply as I closed my eyes. There was, and always had been, a tiny flicker somewhere deep within me — almost like a little flame that if stoked could become an inferno. It was terrifying, yet there was also such a feeling of exhilaration anytime I allowed myself to bask in its power. I knew deep down that the fear of such power was exactly why I had chosen to ignore my mother's stories and her beliefs. I had always thought that people couldn't handle such power. It would corrupt and destroy them. Placing my hands on my knees, I let go of my past assumptions and released the fear I usually held firmly by the hand. It was time that I learned to accept the gifts I held, at least so that I could learn to control them. Digging deep, I found that small flame. The buzzing that I had grown accustomed to throughout the years intensified, and I winced, putting my fisted hands against my ears as if to dull the roar. My vision tunneled and there was a gut-twisting pull at my navel as I was guided toward the magnetism I could feel somewhere out there in the universe.
When my vision cleared, I was staring at a pale white room. It was sickeningly clean and so bright that it hurt my eyes. In the middle of the room, stood Kylo Ren. He was pacing, hands fisted at his sides, black robes flowing behind him as he caught the breeze at each turn. I twisted my head, glancing around the room. He was alone. It made me feel for him, the masked 'monster' — always alone. As I stood there, invisible at his side, I thought of reaching out to him; but the power inside of me kept pulling me away — snapping me back like a rubber band. My hands ached to take hold of his and end his solitude, but I was frozen in place; entirely useless. With a shuddering sigh, I closed my eyes against the angered pacing of Kylo Ren and felt the buzzing in my head, a painful throbbing behind my eyes that left me breathless. Once the pain subsided, and I could breathe without the compulsion to empty my stomach, I cleared up my small picnic area. Rubbing my throbbing forehead, I found the path toward the village, continuing my miniature quest.
The forest thinned out a few hours later and in the distance, over the rolling hills, I finally saw it — the small but busy village of Coranath. I leaned up against the tree beside me to catch my breath. The hazy afternoon sun mixed with the smog from the ships flying in and out left a wispy film around the village that made it appear almost like a mirage. The buzzing in my head that had dulled during the last few hours picked up again, the pull in my chest tugging me forward — it wanted me to go to the village. It wasn't as strong as the pull I felt when I thought of Kylo Ren, but it was still strong enough to leave me with a ticking eye and a throbbing headache. The warm fire that was slowly growing within me, flickered, and I stumbled — surprised by the force of it. I closed my eyes almost against my will, the pull to Kylo Ren igniting again.
He was in another mind-numbingly white room. Whoever he traveled with must have something against color. I tilted my head as he took a frighteningly measured step closer to someone, his automated words coming out at a quick crackling pace. Anger radiated from him; it was palpable. My body jolted in wonder and fear as he threw out his arm, his fingers curling. The man he had been arguing with was lifted into the air, his hands coming up to grasp helplessly at his throat; he gasped for air, releasing a pained choking sound that echoed ominously around the room. With a flick of his hand, Kylo sent the man flying backward. He slammed against the wall, his head bouncing off the white tile, leaving behind a trail of red as he slid to the floor. I wanted to be afraid, but I couldn't. I was amazed by the display of raw power. My stomach churned; I was sickened by myself. Kylo spun on his heel, heading for the door. I moved, my mouth falling open to speak. I wanted to question him. I was curious. What had made him angry enough to lash out in such violence? Although I had a million questions ready to spill out of my mouth, my voice wouldn't come. The voice inside me was telling me to leave. It wanted me to go back to where I belonged. I was really starting to hate that voice. Who did it think it was, my mother? I hadn't had anyone to answer to since I was ten years old, and it was really getting on my nerves.
I watched with annoyed impatience as Kylo neared the door, not even sparing a glance back at the unconscious, and probably concussed, man on the floor behind him. His gait was stiff and controlled. How someone could always keep themselves wound so tight, I didn't know. His muscles must ache constantly. Straightening my back, I took a deep breath and forced my feet forward. I could feel the buzz in my head, a nauseatingly painful thrum behind my eyes, but I kept forward; one foot in front of the other. The fire in my chest was burning brightly. The closer I came to Kylo, the stronger the flare, and I basked in it — taking it as a good sign. I was going to do what I wanted. Before he left the room, I reached out to him, brushing my fingertips along his shoulder. Curiously my fingers did not meet a solid form, but I could feel his energy. It was electric; a warm and vibrant burst of pure life. I pulled back reluctantly, my fingers still pulsing in the oddest way, and watched in amazement as his shoulders relaxed. He lowered his head, a whizzing automated burst of breath left his mask in a whoosh. With a flex of his shoulders, he spun on his heel, glancing around the room. I held my breath as his eyes passed over me.
"Elara?" his robotic voice cracked.
"Hello Kylo," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
Hesitantly, he reached out, searching the air around him. I held out my hand and felt another burst of his energy as we connected — his gloved fingers passing through my hand. He didn't make a sound as our hands connected, and I wasn't sure if he could feel me in the same way I had felt him.
"I can't see you. Can you see me and my surroundings?" he asked, glancing at the still unconscious man to his right.
I looked at him, glancing uncomfortably around the sterile white room, my eyes briefly taking in the unconscious man. At least I hoped he was unconscious.
"Yes, I can see you and the room you're in. You should really learn to take a breath, Kylo. What you did to that man was cruel," I firmly said.
A small robotic chuckle came from him and he glanced at his feet. "You really know nothing about my world, do you? You live in oblivious innocence," he said.
His tone was full of exasperation and it made me feel naive. It somewhat angered me that I couldn't deny what he said. I knew nothing outside of my secluded life. I had always made sure to stay out of the real world. It never occurred to me that there could be something more out there. I was but a small inconsequential part of the universe and had always been okay with that.
"You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have judged you. Though, I still think it's impulsive and childish to lash out at others." I said, cocking my head, brow raised.
He chuckled again and I smiled despite the situation. Stepping closer, I placed my hand on the chin of his mask. I felt the sharp cool metal pass through my fingers and it surprised me after the jolt of his humanity. I pulled back, wincing. A metallic wheeze of anger made me jump as he took a sudden step backward.
"Stop touching me!" he said, his back meeting the wall.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that...why I keep doing that. I-I'll leave," I said, placing my hands on my temples in an effort to snap back to my own reality.
Kylo pushed himself off the wall, his hands coming to hover in front of him. He slowly moved his palms back and forth in a placating, calming way, and I blinked a few times — lowering my fingertips from my temples.
"No, don't leave. I need to know where you are, Elara," he said.
I sighed, realizing it would always come back to that. There was obviously a reason he wanted my location and I knew I couldn't give it to him.
"Sorry Ren, but the Force doesn't want me to give you that information," I said, following the strong buzzing that was guiding me back toward the village and away from Kylo Ren.
I could feel the buzzing in my head becoming an almost sentient thing again and knew it must be the Force. It was telling me to keep my mouth shut, to not give Kylo anything he could use to find me.
"You know nothing of the Force. How could you? You're obviously no more than a hunter...maybe a scavenger of sorts" he said, his head tilted down as if he was remembering my appearance. There was an unkind timbre to his robotic tone. He pointed his index finger in my face and leaned close. "You will tell me your location! Don't force me to scour the galaxy for you; I don't have time for games," he snarled, waving his finger back and forth as if he were disappointed in me.
Covering my upturned lips, I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped. I could feel my cheeks burn as I held back the laughter. He was acting like a child that had been denied his favorite toy. It was utterly ridiculous.
"You're not used to the word 'no' are you?" I said, stifling another giggle. I bit my bottom lip, a smile growing against my consent.
Leaning away, he slammed his fist into the wall leaving behind a sizable dent. I jumped at the violence his anger was breeding, but instead of fear — I felt my own anger build.
Stepping closer, my fists clenched in front of me, I took a deep frenzied breath.
"That's enough! You're being ridiculous. Go ahead, scour the universe for me, but I will not tell an emotionally unstable man my location," I declared.
Breathing heavily, he hovered over me, his mask-covered gaze searching for my invisible form. His chest and hands were shaking. Pointing at the fist he held noticeably close to his chest, I shook my head in disappointment.
"I hope that hurt. It's no more than you deserve for such an outburst." Kylo took a small step back, his head lowering minutely. With a sigh, I turned away. "Now, I'm leaving and I don't think I'll be back. This has shown me exactly the type of man you are, and I don't think I like what I see. You're a childish ass," I said.
Placing my palms on my temple, I closed my eyes, trying again to push myself from the room. When I could still feel the icy cold that always seemed to accompany Kylo Ren, I grumbled silently, opening my eyes to find myself still trapped in the too-bright white room. Crossing my arms petulantly, I remained silent, hoping he'd think I left. I watched him glance around the room in frustration, his hands held out beside him. He was breathing deeply, his chest heaving. When he gave up on hearing my voice again, he reached down, unsnapping his saber from his belt. He ignited it, the bright demonic red light filled the room. It almost took my breath away. The blood-red light bounced off the white walls in an almost hypnotizing way; it was beautiful. With a fury I had never witnessed before, he swung the saber in a circle, slashing it through the air. It was like watching a dance of death. He destroyed everything in the room; ripping apart the walls and machinery as easily as one would tear apart paper. As he danced around the room, his blade swinging left and right, I avoided him as carefully as I could — my footsteps drowned out by the buzzing of his saber and the smelting of machinery.
His anger wavered only after everything in the room was a smoking pile of rubble. Yet still, I couldn't leave. As he extinguished his saber, dropping it to the floor, his metallic gasps started to come out in short pained cracks. Placing my hand on my chest, I swallowed roughly; I could no longer watch the sadness being masked by anger in front of me. It was like watching something die. I walked over to the man hunched over in pain and bent down beside him. With trepidation, I closed my eyes, whispering in his ear. I moved away as his spine straightened and he spun around, searching for me in earnest. Before I could speak, my vision tunneled and I felt myself being tugged back to my own reality.
I sat down at the base of the tree, laying my head on my knees. I'd never seen such pain and anger. The buzzing in my head was dulling to its normal annoying lull and for that, I was grateful. Although, it was leaving behind a smug flavor in my mind that made me want to roll my eyes. Yes, Kylo Ren was dangerous; I understood that quite clearly. I didn't need the Force to tell me that it would be smart to steer clear, but there was also another part of me that didn't want to. He needed help, and although I knew that until he was ready to accept it, I couldn't really do much — I still wanted to try. Standing to my feet, I forced myself to shake off the morose thoughts. He was light-years away. There was nothing more I could do for him, but as I walked towards the city, a small whisper flickered to life inside me — the flame burning brighter again.
"Thank you, El."
I smiled as I pushed on towards the village. El? I think I like that.