A.N:

I'm baack! Exams are finally over! I AM OFFICIALLY ON VACATION!

And being me, I decided to celebrate by posting a super long chapter!

WARNING: VERY OOC GODS COMING UP

Hades had never felt so nervous about going to Olympus.

Not that anyone could blame him, since his son was about to stand trial before 12 almighty Gods.

Nico however, seemed completely at ease, partly because Hades hadn't bothered to tell the eight-year old that he was probably going to die in a few hours. As far as Nico knew, they were just having a regular family reunion.

Hades really hoped that Poseidon's plan worked. Hades had very little faith in 'The Plan' as Poseidon liked to call it, but at this point, there wasn't really time to think of a new one.

"Look Papa! This bridge looks like it's made of actual clouds!" Nico exclaimed, jumping up and down with glee. The two of them were waiting outside the throne room, and Nico had taken it upon himself the discover how many times he could bounce on clouds without plummeting to his death. Under different circumstances, Hades would probably have warned Nico not to jump around so much, but today, his heart just wasn't into it. He barely noticed his son's antics as he rambled on about what to do, and what not to do in front of the Olympians.

"Remember, your Uncle Zeus is... Not a very nice person, so be polite. And don't make Artemis mad at you, she's the silvery one by the way. And avoid your grandmother Demeter, she'll force you to eat oatmeal, for some reason or the other, she's been obsessed with it lately, I hope she gets a new obsession soon... Nico! Are you even listening?"

Nico turned to look at him, "What? Uh... be nice to Uncle Zu(no that's not a typo), don't make the silvery one mad, and avoid oatmeal. Is that right?"

Hades sighed, but nodded anyway. He knew that he wouldn't be able to get his son to remember anything else, what with his ADHD running even wilder than usual. As long as he didn't call the King of the Gods 'Uncle Zu' everything would be fine!

"HADES! The Council requests your presence!"

Hades gulped. He took it back, everything was not going to be fine.

********Line Break********

Hades led his son towards the golden gates of Olympus' throne room. On the way, he tried to cram as many last minute warnings into his head.

"Whatever you do, don't say that Hephaestus looks scary, don't talk to Hera, she's the snobby one, you'll know when you see her. Make sure to complement Apollo's limericks(I'm pretty sure that Apollo was canonically interested in these at some point) even if they're terrible. Actually, scrap that, refuse to listen to them. And also, please be on your best behavior!"

Nico rolled his eyes, "Relax Papa! We're just going to a family reunion. Not some sort of death trap!"

Hades tried to pull of a rueful smile, although it came out as more of a grimace.

"Exactly. A family reunion. Absolutely not a deathtrap."

Hades threw open the magnificent golden doors, revealing a sight that would leave most mortals squeaking in terror. All 12 Olympians were mega-sized and were looming over them on their thrones.

"HADES!" bellowed Zeus, "YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE!"

"Geez." Hades grumbled, "No 'Hey, how's it going big bro?' or 'How do you feel about your child being forced to stand on trial?' Straight to formalities as usual, apparently."

Zeus, as usual, ignored him, "YOU ARE ACCUSED OF BREAKING ANCIENT LAW, WHICH IS A MATTER WITH WHICH WE SHALL DEAL LATER. AT PRESENT, WE ARE HERE TO DISCUSS THE FATE OF A CERTAIN... What's your name again, boy?"

"I'm Nico!" Nico said happily.

"No, your full name."

"Nico di Angelo"

Zeus nodded, and wrote it down on a notepad, "Ah yes, now where was I? Oh right, TO DISCUSS THE FATE OF A CERTAIN NICO DI- "

"Wow! You're so big! Are you giants?"

Zeus looked affronted, and a bit taken aback that an 8 year old had the nerve to interrupt him, " Excuse me? How dare you compare the Gods of Olympus with Gaea's Giants!"

Nico frowned, "Sorry, but it's super cool! Papa, can you do super-mega giant form too?" Hades nodded, not really sure where this was going.

"You never told me! Hmph. And you said Uncle Zu was the mean one."

"Uncle Zu? How dare you- " Zeus spluttered, looking as confused as Poseidon had yesterday.

"Hmm, Uncle Zu sounds okay, but you need a cooler name, like Uncle Barnacle Beard's!" Nico continued, acting like nothing was wrong.

Hermes was gaping at Poseidon, "Uncle P, did that kid just call you Uncle Barnacle Beard?"

Poseidon nodded smugly, as though he was boasting to all the other Gods about how Nico already had a 'cool' nickname for him. Which he probably was, seeing as gods could communicate telepathically.

"I know!" Nico said, trying(and failing) to snap his fingers. "You can be Uncle Thunder Britches!"

"Uncle Thunder Britches? Who gave you that idea, boy?" asked Zeus looking furious. Hades decided to consider that as improvement, since Zeus wasn't accusing his son of making up the name by himself, which in Zeus-world, was equivalent to a bear hug.

"Papa, of course!"

Hades felt like burying his head in his hands as he felt his face become red.

"What do you know!" he heard someone mutter, "Old Corpse Breath really does have a sense of humor."

Hades wanted to retort that yes, he did have a sense of humor, and it was their own fault that they'd never bothered to find out. But that probably wouldn't endear him to the Council.

"I mean, Thunder Britches has a ring to it," Nico continued, "But it would be even cooler if both words started with the same letter! A skeleton taught me about those once ,he said they were called alli- somethings."

"Alliterations" corrected Athena, looking vaguely impressed. She obviously hadn't expected the child to have more than a single brain cell. Typical Athena, assuming that all demigods apart from her own children were complete idiots.

"Yeah those!" Nico beamed, "Wait, are you the silvery one that papa said that I shouldn't annoy? I think it was Arty Miss or something like that. There are a lot of silvery people here. "

Hades groaned, of course Nico would bring that up.

Artemis cleared her throat, "I believe that would be me." She said, raising a hand, "I must admit, it's... gratifying to know that Hades fears me." She said smugly. Hades knew then that no one was going to let him live this down for the next two centuries.

"I don't exactly fear you," he started, " I just... prefer to avoid you."

Artemis smirked, "Fair enough, I'll take it."

Zeus cleared his throat loudly, "Can we please get back to the matter on hand?"

Hades groaned, just when he thought that Zeus had been distracted. He had been so sure that his younger brother wouldn't want to pass up an opportunity to focus on himself! What was happening today?

"We need to find a cool nickname for me!"

Yep. There it was. He should never have doubted that Zeus wouldn't pass up a chance to let his brothers best him at anything, even having a cooler nickname.

Nico looked thoughtful, "It needs to have a meaning of sorts, like how Uncle Poseidon's nickname is Barnacle Beard. That works because he's the god of the seas and all." He added, for clarification purposes.

Now it was Poseidon's turn to gape, "You knew all along that my name wasn't Barnacle Beard? I thought- I thought that Hades didn't tell you that I was me!"

"And you knew that you had just called Lord Zeus, King of the Gods and Lord of the Sky, Uncle Zu?" demanded Zeus.

Nico winced, "Actually that one was an accident. I really did think that your name was Zu. I mean, skeletons aren't easy to understand! They have weird accents! And Papa's accent is even weirder!" he added hastily, trying to defend himself.

Hades raised an eyebrow. Since when was he the one with a funny accent? Nico was the one who accidentally slipped into Italian sometimes!

Poseidon still looked dazed, and was paying no attention, "How did you know that I was me? How did you still call me Barnacle Beard when you- you knew all along? I mean, I'm the god of the seas! And you- what? How? Huh?"

Nico looked at him strangely, "I'm eight, not stupid."

Poseidon groaned and gently banged his head on his armrest(the last time he did it, he accidently used his godly strength and busted the throne).

By now, the entire council was gaping, probably wondering whether Nico was insane, giving two all-powerful gods funny nicknames was NOT standard mortal behavior. Hades wasn't particularly surprised, his son seemed to have that effect on most people. After all, Hades himself had been left gaping like a fish when Nico decided to make friends with skeletal guards. Oddly enough, he had made friends with them, and would now ask them to play with him whenever he was bored. He had even befriended Achilles and Patrocles( Hades wasn't really sure what that was about, and he didn't really want to know either)! Hades hadn't really considered skeletons as suitable playmates until then, but seeing Nico playing some board game or the other with a group of decaying zombies really puts a new spin on things.

" Be quiet Poseidon! You just don't command as much respect as you used to, old man." Zeus taunted.

Poseidon tensed and gripped his trident, " Why don't we just figure out a dam nickname for you and finish this O' Great Lord Zeus?" he spat out, gritting his teeth.

Zeus grinned, "Wise decision! Now, for the perfect nickname...I know! I will be Lightning Lord, King of the Skies, Superior to my brother's nickname!"

Nico shrugged, "Okay then, you can be Uncle Lightning Lord if you want." he said, making his way over to Poseidon, who had gone back to banging his head on his throne while saying, 'Why? Why? Why?'

"There there." he said, patting him on the knee, since he couldn't really reach any higher. "I'm sorry, but Poseidon is a mouthful. It was about time you moved on. You'll get over it eventually." he assured, nodding sagely, apparently misinterpreting the situation.

Apparently, being told that the name he had assumed for centuries was 'a mouthful' was enough to snap Poseidon out of his shock.

"Oh just get up here already!" he ordered, lifting Nico onto his throne, making him squeal.

"Papa! Why don't you do this at home? If I could become super tall, I would spend all day stomping around like a giant!" Nico exclaimed, and started to prove his point by stomping around on a mega-sized Poseidon's lap, looking like a tiny ant, compared to the God of the Seas.

Zeus beamed, " Silence! I ,Uncle Lightning Lord, hereby declare that you tell me Hades' nicknames for the other gods, so that I may prove my ultimate superiority! And also embarrass my brother further!" he said, sending his eldest brother an evil grin.

Hades bashed his head on a pillar. Why did this always happen to him? He briefly noticed Hestia sending him a sympathetic glance from the hearth. Nico however, seemed to be having a great time, and was babbling on about his creative nicknames for the gods, or at least, the ones he remembered.

"And I think you're the snobby one! I mean, he said that I'd be able to tell. And you look pretty snobby! Uh.. no offense."

Hera looked disgusted, "I can't believe my own brother would describe me in such an unflattering way. After all I've done for him..."

"The only thing you've done for me is throw stomach acid at me to make me lose at pinochle, back in the old days." Hades reminded.

Zeus roared with laughter, "I should do this more often! I forgot how delightful embarrassing my siblings is!"

"Hey kid, want to hear a limerick?" asked Apollo, as radiant as ever.

Nico hesitated, "Papa said that your limericks are rubbish, and that I shouldn't listen to you."

As delighted as he was that Nico had remembered some of his advice, he really wished that Nico had at least some brain-to-mouth filter. According to his parenting magazines, all children were like that at a young age. But not all children would someday end up spilling his secrets to the gods.

"There once was a goddess in Sparta," he started, drawing groans from the unusually lively council. Apollo sent them a glare and continued.

"There once was a goddess in Sparta,

Who tried to steal the sacred snake Martha,

The cool snake bit the goddess,

Displayed its military prowess,

And Hermes and his snakes were never again apart-a!"

(Please excuse the terrible poetry. I have no idea how to write a limerick.)

Nico beamed, "That was awesome!"

Apollo returned his smile.

"This kid has great taste in poetry! Let's not kill him!"

Artemis nodded, "I agree, the boy seems to know his place. Also, he isn't quivering in fear. Courage is something that I can admire."

Demeter waved her off, "Courage is okay, but does the boy like oatmeal?"

Nico nodded, "Mom's oatmeal tastes pretty good."

Demeter raised her eyebrow at the 'mom' part. She sent Hades a glance that clearly said, 'We will talk about this later.'

"What are we talking about again?" asked Zeus, who had been busy watching Nico as he tried to find a comfortable way to sit on Poseidon.

Hera rolled her eyes, "The trial."

Zeus looked surprised, "Oh right, the trial! I almost forgot. So uh, those in favor of letting the boy live a bit longer?"

Poseidon, Apollo, Artemis, Aphrodite, Demeter, Dionysus(for some reason), Hermes(who wasn't really the child-murdering type) and oddly enough Zeus raised their hands.

Hades felt his mouth drop open as he watched Zeus pull Nico away from Poseidon and settle the boy on his own lap.

"Well I couldn't let Poseidon be his favorite uncle! I, Zeus, must prove myself as the greatest uncle in the cosmos! I can't do that if the boy spends all his time with Poseidon!" said Zeus, trying to defend himself from the disbelieving looks being sent his way.

"Although the verdict is obvious, those in favor of killing him?"

Ares, Hera, and Athena raised their hands.

"As much as I value knowledge," Athena started, "We cannot risk the fate of Olympus."

Hephaestus just shrugged, "Do whatever, I honestly don't care."

Zeus nodded, "Athena does have a point. The boy may seem adorable now, but there's no telling what paths he may go down in the future. I still refuse to let a son of Hades be the child of the prophecy. Hades' children have betrayed us once, there's nothing stopping them from doing it again. So Hades, here's the deal. We'll agree to overlook the whole 'breaking the ancient laws' thing and let your son live, as long as you kill him before he turns 16."

"Kill him?" Hades asked incredulously, his voice coming out a lot more high-pitched than usual.

Zeus waved a hand dismissively, "I don't care, just get rid of him before he turns 13 or 14. I will NOT have a teenage child of the big three on the loose. Especially one of yours."

Hades nodded, knowing that the council wasn't going to change its decision. Besides, there was always a loophole, and he was a master at finding them.

"Come on Nico!" he called to his son, who was... Braiding Zeus' beard?

Nico let Zeus put him down and waved cheerfully to all the gods, "Bye! Come and visit soon!"

"No, please don't." Hades added.

As the two of them made their way towards the door, Nico pulled himself out of his father's grasp and raced over to the hearth. He tapped Hestia on the shoulder.

"Who are you?"

Hestia looked surprised, but sent him a smile, "I'm Hestia, young one."

Nico's face lit up with recognition, "I know you! You're my favorite goddess! Your like, totally awesome!"

"Really?"

"Yeah!" he nodded enthusiastically, "You're the coolest! I mean, you're the goddess of family, right?"

Hera grumbled, "Well, technically I'm-"

"Besides, Papa talks about you a lot. He says that you're his favorite sister! Which means you're my favorite aunt!"

"That's not how it works." protested Zeus.

"As lovely as this is, we really have to get going." interrupted Hades, "Say goodbye Nico."

Before Zeus and Poseidon could start arguing, Hades led Nico away from the hearth, sending an apologetic glance towards Hestia. Hestia however didn't seem offended, in fact, she seemed rather amused.

"Don't bother visiting." Hades instructed, turning to the gods, "Keep your problems up here, leave me out of it."

"Except Hestia." he added as an afterthought, "Hestia can come down whenever she wants. The rest of you, just... leave me alone."

With that the father-son duo left the throne room, and made their way towards the elevator. Technically, Hades could just shadow-travel them home, but Nico really wanted to take the elevator. And when a child wants something, especially a demigod child, you do it (if you know what's good for you).

"That was fun." Nico stated, "We should have family reunions more often."

'No' Hades thought, 'We really shouldn't.'

But for his son's sake he smiled , " Of course. Now, why don't we see if your mother has left us any cake?"

*********Line Break********

The throne room was completely silent.

"Did O' Great Lord Zeus just... pardon a son of Hades?" asked Apollo, breaking the silence.

"I believe he did." Replied Athena, looking equally dazed.

Zeus shrugged, "I couldn't just let Poseidon prove that he was the better uncle. He would rub it in my face for centuries. Besides, no one has called me anything but O' Great Lord Zeus in years!"

Artemis rolled her eyes, "That's because you decreed that everyone was supposed to call you O' Great Lord Zeus!" she explained, pointing to a framed decree hung up on the wall.

"Ah," said Zeus, stroking his newly-braided beard, "Hera dear!" he called, snapping his fingers and making a notepad and pen appear in front of Hera, " Be a dear and remind me to take that down later, will you?"

Hera grabbed the stationery, and smiled a deceptively sweet smile.

"I. Am. Your. Wife!" she yelled, punctuating each word by hitting Zeus with the notebook, "Not. Your. Secretary!"

Just like that, the dazed atmosphere on Olympus shattered, and the gods went back to arguing, debating, ganging up on each other and causing mayhem on earth like any other council meeting.

Yes, everything was back to normal on Olympus.

A.N again:

Okay, so I hope that that chapter wasn't too cringey.

And I'm really sorry about Zeus' crazy desire to prove himself, but I think that even though he's king, Zeus would constantly try to prove that he's better than his siblings since he's the youngest. I don't know why I think that Zeus is slightly( read: immensely) insecure, but I just ... do.

So I have a question for you guys:

Do you want me to include a few short scenes of Nico training, or maybe getting lessons from skeletal tutors? Or would you prefer skipping straight to the main plot(which will start soon enough)?

Let me know what you think!

As usual, please review!

-Keera \(￣︶￣*\)