Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.
A/N: Had a rough start with this one, but I managed to pull through. The heart of this arc is still to come!
Following the Footsteps of Destiny
Chapter 324: Celestial Nightmare
Sam Ichijouji
Net, Northern Hemisphere, Digital World
Gazing at the icy tips of the mountains looming in the distance, Sam jumped in surprise as something cold and wet suddenly landed softly on the tip of his nose. The unexpected sensation nearly sent him stumbling into the closest snowdrift, and lifting his sapphire eyes to the sky, it took him a moment to realise it was snowing. The flakes were light and fluffy, their sparkling surfaces spiralling towards the frozen ground in a manner similar to that of a snow globe, and glancing back over his shoulder, he couldn't stop himself from checking to see if Mickey had noticed his clumsy movements. At the moment, the older twin was walking next to Takara at the back of the group, and though the two cousins were no longer engaged in conversation, it was obvious the atmosphere between them had changed, though not at all in a bad way. Regardless of whatever they had previously discussed before eventually falling silent, both seemed content to simply contemplate the results of their friendly chat instead of allowing themselves to argue over what he suspected was an obvious case of Mickey offering nothing but vague responses in an attempt to satisfy the female Digidestined's desire to help.
Takara did say she would speak to him, and it looks like she finally got her chance, but...what does that mean for me? There's no getting around the fact that I was probably the focus of their conversation, which does make me wonder. What were they saying, and more importantly, how did Mickey respond? Did Kara ask him the same questions she asked me, or were they entirely different? And if they weren't the same, what did she ask him?
All excellent questions, particularly the last one, and if he was honest with himself, not having any of the answers he needed so desperately to move forward was driving him crazy. On top of that, the lack of information was also making him feel slightly insecure. Not that he had anything to worry about. Judging from the fact that Mickey appeared lost in thought, Sam was pretty certain the older twin hadn't noticed his blunder, which is some ways was slightly disappointing.
After talking to Kara, I thought he would at least attempt to join me again, but instead he seems more interested in staring at the scenery...
"Sam, you're making that face again."
Huh?
Blinking in confusion, Sam glanced at his digimon partner and said stupidly, "Face? What face?"
"That face you make when you're thinking too hard," Glowmon replied, tilting his head to one side. "Are you upset because you're worried Mickey's ignoring you?"
"What!? No! Where did that come from?"
"I saw you watching him just now. You were doing the same thing earlier when he was talking to Kara."
"Was I?"
If he only spoke to Kara now, that must mean I was right about Matty...
Earlier, he had suspected Mickey might have told the younger twin why he had been acting so unlike himself since the incident in the waterway, which would explain the change in Matty's behaviour, but what he couldn't figure out was whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
It can't be anything too negative, since both Kara and Matty aren't acting like I've done anything wrong. In both cases, there's no way my name wouldn't have come up in conversation. Either they would have mentioned me or Mickey would have brought me up himself. Not that it's any of my business, but...I just wish I had some idea of what those three talked about, especially if I really was the main focus of their discussions...
"Sam, you're doing it again."
"Doing what? The face thing?"
There's still not enough evidence to suggest Kara and Matty might know the truth about my feelings...
"Yes, the face thing," Glowmon scolded, puffing himself up. "You really are out of it today, aren't you."
Sam quickly shook his head, and holding out his arms, he murmured, "Sorry about that. Maybe you're right. I just..."
"We're in the Digital World now," Glowmon reminded him, immediately snuggling into his warm embrace. "Please tell me you're going to keep your promise."
As if I could say no to you.
Holding his partner close, Sam paused for a moment to collect his thoughts, and taking a deep breath, he said quietly, "Remember how you were concerned about Mickey and I having issues with our friendship?"
"Of course," Glowmon said slowly, the small bulb on his head flickering in response to the seriousness of their conversation. "You were wondering if Mickey was worried about your friendship, and I assumed it was because something has changed between the two of you since the waterway."
"That's right. I know this might not make much sense, but the problem has nothing to do with Mickey and I not liking each other anymore or anything like that. If anything, the issue has more to do with the fact that I...like Mickey almost too much, and I'm worried if he finds out, he might not feel very...happy about that."
"I don't understand," Glowmon replied, looking understandably confused. "How can you like somebody too much?"
There's that refreshing digimon outlook I love so much. Their pure hearts and strong desire to spread happiness in both worlds is simply astounding. I don't think humans could ever achieve that level of innocence.
With one exception.
As far as he was concerned, there was only one person who could ever even come close, and that human was the very person he wanted so desperately to love him in return.
Mickey was so supportive of Makku and Shinji. That must mean he doesn't care about gender...
Perhaps that was wishful thinking, since as much as it pained him to admit it sometimes others had a habit of taking back their words when they found themselves directly involved in a situation they hadn't accounted for, but surely Mickey wasn't the type to behave like that. The older twin wasn't the sort of person to say things he didn't mean, and taking comfort from the fact that Mickey wasn't a hypocritical liar, Sam gently stroked his partner's fragile wings and said softly, "You know how much Dai and Kara love each other? That's...how much I love Mickey."
If that's not a clear explanation, I dunno what is. There's no other way to explain it without causing further confusion.
Glowmon was silent for a moment, and taking some time to absorb his words, the little digimon paused before saying, "So you love Mickey the way your parents love each other?"
That was quick.
Sam hadn't expected his partner to catch on that fast, and nodding his head, he murmured, "That's exactly it."
"But...that's a good thing," Glowmon insisted, looking even more confused. "I don't understand. Loving somebody like that should make you feel happy, but instead you've been acting really unsure of yourself. How come?"
"It's...complicated, but ultimately my obvious anxiety and frustration are due to the fact that just because I love Mickey, there's no guarantee he'll return my feelings. No matter how much you love somebody, you can't force them to care about you the same way, hence the reason why I feel so lost and...insecure."
"Which is why Makku and Shinji wanted to speak to you," Glowmon finished. "They were hoping to give you some words of encouragement to help you act on your feelings."
It's almost like he knew all along. Maybe we don't give our digimon enough credit. In fact, they might understand humans better than we understand ourselves.
Sam had to admit he was impressed, and shuffling his way through the snow at a fairly steady pace, he murmured, "You think I'm being silly, don't you."
"I wouldn't say that," Glowmon protested, snuggling closer to his chest. "It's not that your concerns aren't valid, I just think you're worrying more than you need to."
"How so?"
Strange, he doesn't seemed concerned at all about Mickey's behaviour. I wonder why that is...
Wriggling in his arms, the little insect digimon beamed at him and said happily, "I can tell Mickey really cares about you a lot, and I bet if you told him how you feel, I'm sure it would make him really happy!"
"As much as I'd like to agree with you, I really don't think...wait, you actually believe Mickey...loves me?"
"Of course! I'm sure of it."
Sam had no idea what to say to that, and glancing over his shoulder to make sure they were still walking far enough ahead of the pack to prevent those at the back from overhearing their conversation, he said hesitantly, "Glowmon, you know I'm not talking about friendship, right? I'm well aware of the fact that Mickey loves me as a friend, but-"
"I'm not talking about friendship either," the little digimon interrupted, bouncing lightly in his arms. "Mickey's always complimenting you, and obviously he likes being close to you. He clearly worries about you a lot, and I'm sure you're always on his mind. Plus, he loves holding your hand, and your hugs make him happy. Aren't all of those things a part of being in love? Dai does all of those things with Kara, and your parents do the same thing, too."
He's...not wrong...
Sam could feel his own heart pounding heavily in his chest, and burying his head against Glowmon's glowing bulb, he whispered, "I know all that, but what if there's a chance I'm wrong? If I make a move only to find out that I misinterpreted his feelings, the consequences could be devastating. I could lose his friendship. I could lose...everything..."
"That won't happen," Glowmon said firmly, nuzzling his cheek. "Mickey would never let anything come between the two of you. Whether you believe it or not, you'll always be one of the most important people in the world to him, and I'm worried by not saying anything you could cause even more damage."
"Trust me, I'm well aware our friendship is suffering because of my erratic behaviour, but...I don't know how to act the way I used to around him anymore."
"Who says you have to be the old you?" Glowmon demanded.
Huh? Is he saying it's okay to just...be myself? The real me? The me who wants to hold Mickey and never let go?
The very idea was enough to render him incapable of speech, and taking a moment to wrap his head around such a precious thought, he whispered, "Is it worth the risk?"
"I bet Mickey's only acting all shy and uncertain around you because he doesn't know what to make of your conflicting feelings," Glowmon lectured, sounding quite proud of himself for coming up with what he obviously believed was a logical explanation. "In his defence, you are acting a bit strange, and you can't expect him to know what's in your heart without giving him at least some kind of clue. If you would just tell him the truth, I know that would make him feel super excited. It would also come as a relief to know he doesn't have to worry about you anymore."
Feeling suddenly exposed, Sam blushed before once again glancing over his shoulder, and taking note of the fact that Mickey was still staring off into the distance, he whispered, "Listen, I know you want to support me, but don't count your digieggs before they hatch. I don't want you to get too excited about all of this only to end up disappointed if Mickey just wants to be friends."
"I won't," Glowmon promised, his firm tone leaving no room for doubt. "But only if you promise to at least give it a shot. Don't give up on love, Sam. You'll never know unless you try."
"Easier said than done, but if an opportunity to say something comes up, I'll try not to let it pass me by."
"That's all I ask!" Glowmon insisted, his bulb glowing even brighter. "Hey, Sam...are your feelings for Mickey the reason why you asked me my opinion of him back when we were in the waterway?"
Sam nodded, and ducking his head, he said quietly, "Yeah, that's exactly why. You're my partner, after all. Your feelings are important to me, and you know I would never make any kind of move without consulting you first. That's why it took me so long to tell you. I wanted to be sure of my feelings first before saying anything because everything I do also affects you. If for some reason you had any concerns, I would respect that and hear you out before indulging in my own selfish desires."
"You're not selfish, Sam," Glowmon said fondly, cuddling closer. "I meant what I said before. I love Mickey, and I want the two of you to be together. That could never affect me in a negative way. In fact, it's the opposite. That would make me really happy."
Glowmon...
Unable to stop himself, Sam hugged the little digimon tightly to his chest, and feeling his throat close up, he managed to choke out, "Thank you. I can't even tell you how much that means to me."
"So I was right? That's what Makku and Shinji were doing?" Glowmon asked. "They were also trying to encourage you to share your feelings with Mickey, since I assume they figured out the truth on their own?"
"They were, but..."
"Easier said than done, I know," Glowmon repeated, giving him a sympathetic look. "They're right, though. Maybe that's exactly what Mickey's waiting for."
Is that why he's acting so strange around me? Does he already know how I feel and wants to hear me say it?
The thought was both exciting and terrifying all at the same time, and shaking his head in amusement, Sam said mildly, "How did you become such an expert on humans and love?"
"Because you taught me everything I need to know," Glowmon said earnestly, beaming at him. "I've learned a lot by being your partner and watching you grow as a person. You have a lot of love in your heart, Sam. I feel it from you everyday, and I know it's the same for everyone else around you, including Mickey!"
The little digimon's words were so sweet, and as a result Sam couldn't bring himself to let go of his partner. At the same time, he suddenly felt like he was being watched, and jerking his head up, he found himself locking eyes with Matty, who was watching him with obvious curiosity. A quick look over his shoulder indicated Mickey was also now staring intently at him, and uncertain of what the twins were thinking, he thoughts immediately went into overdrive.
There's just no way around it. I must have been a topic of discussion between them. They wouldn't be showing so much interest in me if I wasn't, which bodes the question as to why. Why would they be talking about me? If I'm absolutely right about those two, what do they find so interesting about me?
Earlier, he had brushed aside those thoughts, as the last thing he wanted to do was come off as arrogant, but considering the situation, there was no denying the obvious. The world might not revolve around him, but the current situation certainly did.
Maybe there is something else other than his brother that might cause Mickey to lose his heart to the darkness, and that something is me. My idiotic behaviour must be creating a lot of unnecessary stress for Mickey. He basically admitted it. If I distract him too much while he's trying to sort out the situation with Matty, that might make him lose his heart to the darkness even faster. But even then, there's no way I could be the root of the problem...
Or maybe he was, which was the very reason Matty was keeping such a close eye on him.
I want to protect them both, but I can't do that if Matty reacts badly to my feelings for Mickey...
"How's everybody doing so far?" Frigimon suddenly called out from the front of the group. "Staying warm back there?"
As the group gathered together for a breather, Sam suddenly found himself in close proximity to the twins, and shrugging his shoulders, Matty said lightly, "We're surviving so far. How close are we to the village?"
"Still a ways to go," Izzy replied, sounding apologetic. "We'll definitely take another rest before we get there, especially since it looks like the path gets a little trickier once it starts to descend into the valley that leads to the village."
"What do you mean by trickier?" Rosa asked, looking suspicious.
"There's ice up ahead," Izzy announced, brushing snowflakes off his hat. "It might get pretty slippery so we need to be careful. Last thing we want is for somebody to break an ankle."
"The snow's getting thicker, too," Kari added, pointing at the sky. "Not the easiest to walk in."
After leaving the grove of trees behind, they had spent the next phase of their journey trudging along a partially trampled path that weaved in and out of the large snowdrifts on either side, and flicking her wings to shake off the snow, Dovemon said, "How far to the next stopping point? I hope it has some shelter."
"According to Frigimon, there should be an old abandoned settlement up ahead. We can take shelter there," Izzy promised, once again picking up the pace. "We're making good time so far, despite the snow. Let's keep it up."
The words were meant to be encouraging, but even so Sam couldn't help letting out a small sigh of defeat. He was tired already, and releasing Glowmon so the little digimon could fly beside him, he suddenly found himself falling into step next to Mickey. Matty was quick to join them, and making a face, the younger twin said, "Anybody else wish we were in a sauna right about now? I'm freezing here."
"If you have enough energy to complain, you're fine," Halomon teased, giggling as he attempted to catch the snowflakes between his fingers. "It might be cold out, but the snow is so pretty!"
"It also hides a lot," Mickey murmured, speaking as if he hadn't meant to voice the thought out loud.
For some reason, Sam suddenly felt cold inside, and stepping closer to the older twin, he said gently, "You looked like you were in your own little world back there for a while. Is there something on your mind?"
Were you thinking about me at all?
"Oh!" Mickey gasped, blushing slightly. "I-I'm sorry, I was just thinking about our encounter with Lucemon earlier."
So not me then. I really need to stop getting my hopes up.
This time, the sigh that escaped his lips was much more pronounced, and avoiding the older twin's eyes, he said calmly, "I'm going to assume you're worried about what exactly he's doing in the Northern Hemisphere and what he hopes to accomplish while in enemy territory?"
"I just...he said he's here to do some research, and I can't help wondering what that research involves," Mickey mumbled, his words sounding hesitant. "Do you think it's something bad?"
Sam wasn't sure how to respond, and having overheard the conversation, his father moved to join them and said slowly, "If I had to make a guess, I would say Lucemon is researching something that has to do with the Powers of Darkness. The real question is what could be hiding on the continent of Net that would require an expert on the Powers of Darkness to visit this realm, especially at such great risk to himself."
"That's true," Wormmon agreed, nodding at the former Emperor. "We might not know exactly why Lucemon's in danger, but DarkAngelicmon made it pretty clear we need to protect him from our enemies, which must mean he isn't safe here."
If Lucemon's willing to put himself in harm's way, he must have a good reason for it...
Unfortunately, Sam had no idea what that reason could be, and exchanging a meaningful look with his father, he touched Mickey's shoulder and said softly, "I'm guessing that's not the only thing you're worried about?"
"I think...the Ruler of Darkness might have some kind of plan for DarkAngelicmon, but I'm not sure what it is," Mickey confessed, glancing almost imperceptibly at his hand before quickly looking the other way. "And...I'm pretty sure Lucemon feels the same."
Is my touch making him uncomfortable?
"How do you know that?" Matty asked, frowning at his twin.
The younger brother was walking on Mickey's other side, and shaking his head, the older twin said soberly, "I could see it in his eyes. That's why he's so worried about DarkAngelicmon. Whatever the Ruler of Darkness is planning, it's pretty obvious Lucemon thinks those plans will affect DarkAngelicmon in a negative way, possibly even putting his life in danger."
Only you would care so deeply about a digimon who is essentially still your enemy. An enemy you can't even trust...
At that moment, Sam had to mentally restrain himself from pulling Mickey into a fierce embrace, and refusing to drop his hand as they carried on down the path, he said firmly, "While I agree with you completely, it isn't going to do you any good to worry yourself over what is still essentially just a theory. Until the Ruler of Darkness makes a move, Lucemon's fate is out of our control. Right now, the best thing we can do to help him is to find your Spirit Chip."
"And while we're doing that we can keep an eye on DarkAngelicmon," Matty added, giving his brother a look.
You're already worried about Matty, and then you have your issues with me. Please don't give yourself anymore triggers that might make you lose your heart to the darkness...
Unable to look at either one of them, Mickey remained silent, and glancing back to give the older twin a sympathetic smile, Izzy said mildly, "I know it's hard to let go, but I trust Gennai. You heard him yourself, Mickey. He has an idea, and knowing Gennai as well as I do, more often than not his theories turn into facts. If he truly believed Lucemon or DarkAngelicmon were in any immediate danger, he would have suggested we go after them immediately before sending us on our way to find the Spirit Chip. I'm sure I'll know a bit more once I've had a chance to speak with him tonight, and if I learn anything new, you'll be the first to know."
In response to the computer expert's encouraging words, Mickey finally managed a smile, and sounding a little shy, the older twin said softly, "Thank you, I appreciate that."
It can't be because of my touch, can it? If I was really making him uncomfortable, he wouldn't have grabbed my hand earlier, and he definitely wouldn't have said all those nice things to me. I really do love his sweet and caring personality, which is why I couldn't help blurting out the truth. I wonder how that made him feel. He did seem pretty surprised at my words, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. After all, he was the one who asked me if I was okay with him holding my hand...
There was no denying Mickey's favourable response, and thinking back on Halomon's enigmatic reply concerning the older twin's behaviour, he had a feeling the little rookie knew something he didn't.
Does that mean Halomon also knows the real reason Mickey's been acting so strange around me? I don't know what to think anymore. Mickey made it clear he didn't like the idea of causing me any stress or worry, but is that really enough to say there might be something more between us?
"Earth to Sam!" a voice suddenly joked in his ear. "Now who's in their own little world."
The unexpected accusation caught him by surprise, and dropping his hand from Mickey's shoulder, Sam turned to the younger twin and said sheepishly, "Sorry, I was just-"
"Thinking about Mickey?" Matty asked, keeping his voice low enough so the older twin wouldn't overhear.
Sam froze, and realising Celestimon had fluttered over to distract Mickey, he glanced at the younger twin and said nonchalantly, "What makes you say that?"
Please don't hate me, Matty. You're so important to me and I need to protect you. Not just for Mickey, but also for myself...
"I can tell you're really worried about him, and I don't blame you," Matty said simply, moving even closer to ensure they wouldn't be overheard by anyone attempting to listen in. "Trust me, I get it. I can't stop worrying myself, and I feel like my heart's going to explode. Every nerve in my body's on edge, and I don't know what to do about it either."
Matty...
Sam could feel his anxiety melting away, and putting an arm around the younger twin's shoulders, he said warmly, "You're causing me just as much worry. Remember, I haven't forgotten my promise to you, but in the meantime you need to take care of yourself. For me?"
"You drive a hard bargain, you know that?" Matty complained, though there was a smile on his face. "I'll try, but...you feel it, don't you?"
Even now, walking between the twins, Sam could feel it, and nodding his head, he murmured, "The growing tension between you and Mickey. Yes, I can sense it. I was hoping you could tell me why that is."
Does it have anything to do with me, or is it solely because of DarkAngelicmon and the Spirit Chip? Please, give me something. I need to know how you feel about me. Even if you want to disown me for loving your brother, I still won't be able to stop myself from wanting to keep you safe...
At first, Matty seemed uncertain of how to response, and frowning, the younger twin said, "The closer we get to the Spirit Chip, the sooner we'll know who DarkAngelicmon's really after. It's that fear of not knowing who the target is that's driving a wedge between us. Both of us wouldn't think twice about putting ourselves in danger to save the other, and I have a bad feeling that might end up being our downfall."
It's not me then. He really is afraid of what might happen with DarkAngelicmon and the Spirit Chip.
Sam hadn't expected such an honest and heartfelt response, and feeling his chest tighten, he pulled Matty close again and said quietly in the younger twin's ear, "This is why I have to protect you both."
"Huh?" Matty asked, looking confused. "What do you mean by that?"
"You just concentrate on fixing your relationship with your brother. Let me worry about the rest."
"I...yeah, thanks," Matty mumbled, sounding embarrassed. "I'll do that."
That was the only response Sam needed, and attempting to lighten the mood, he teased, "Sending Celestimon to distract Mickey so you could talk to me. That was a pretty smart, albeit devious, move. Learning a few tricks from Kara?"
Matty immediately looked guilty, and giving him a friendly nudge, the older twin said dryly, "You've picked up a few tricks yourself. And...just so you know, whenever you're ready to tell me what's going on, I'll be here to listen."
Even if you might not want to hear the truth.
Luckily, Matty didn't stick around for a reply, and as the younger twin moved off to join his father, Celestimon hurrying to catch up, Sam once again found himself reflecting on the behaviour of his friends. They were definitely all aware of the tension between himself and Mickey, including Matty, and for all he knew all their parents might also have an idea.
And yet nobody was treating him badly.
Did you really think they would, even if you did blurt out the truth? Look at the way they reacted to Makku and Shinji. Why would it be any different for me?
"Was Matty giving you a hard time again?" Mickey suddenly asked, interrupting his thoughts.
Sam quickly shook his head, and smiling at the older twin, he said warmly, "No, nothing like that. I think, like you, he's just worried about me. Same way I'm worried about him, and the same way I'm worried about you."
Mickey immediately blushed at his words, and as their two digimon partners began to giggle and play in the falling snow circling around them, the older twin said shyly, "I guess that makes three of us then. I'm not surprised, though. Matty really respects you, which I'm sure you already know."
He does? He's never said so before. At least, not in those words. I wonder if he'll still feel the same once he finds out the truth...
Because inevitably, Matty would find out the truth, and no matter how much he tried to deny it, there was simply no way he could keep his feelings for Mickey locked up inside his heart forever.
It's all about timing. If I blurt out the truth when I shouldn't, that might make the situation even worse. As much as it terrifies me to even think about it, sooner or later I'll have to tell Mickey about my feelings, and it's better to be honest then to allow my emotions to build up inside before bursting at the worst possible moment. And yet, even though I know that's the right thing to do, will there ever be a good time? Do I say something to Mickey before or after we find the Spirit Chip? Depending on how he responds, both options have the potential to tear us apart and send our hearts spiralling into darkness...
"Sam? Your eyes look funny," Halomon suddenly interrupted, fluttering close to place a hand on his cheek. "It's like you're drifting off to some place where we can't reach you."
Caught off guard, Sam quickly pulled the little digimon into his arms, and cuddling Halomon against his chest, he said softly, "I'm here. Sorry about that. I was just thinking."
"Just don't drift too far away from us, okay?" Halomon mumbled, snuggling against him. "I like having you here."
For some reason Mickey suddenly looked very flustered, and biting his lip, the older twin mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"You know what Halomon's like. You don't mind, do you?"
Sam had to laugh, and shaking his head, he teased, "Why would I mind? He's just like you, and you know how much I like you."
Far more than I could ever put into words...
The blush on Mickey's face intensified, and beaming at the older twin, Glowmon said happily, "You can cuddle me, too. Anytime you want!"
I really do wonder if Halomon knows what's up with Mickey...
"The abandoned settlement is just up ahead," Mina called out, motioning for the group to hurry along. "Let's find a suitable place to rest and Candlemon can build us a fire."
"Hey, let me help!" Embermon protested, tugging on Mina's hand. "I bet I can find us the best kind of wood!"
"If you let him help you'll regret it," Dai warned, earning himself a glare from his partner.
For some reason Halomon seemed quite content to remain in his embrace, and as the little digimon's arms went around his neck, Sam quickly followed the others towards a small building that looked like it hadn't been used in a very long time. The wall where the front door used to be had completely crumbled away, and all of the buildings surrounding it weren't in much better condition. At the centre of the settlement, an old fountain still stood erect, though it was cracked and weathered. The water pooled at its base had frozen over, and judging from its many years of abandonment, it was doubtful the fountain still worked at all, cold environment or not.
"We'll use the building that's missing the front wall," Izzy announced. "It's large enough to hold us all, plus the missing wall will allow us to light a fire safely inside."
Having come to a sensible decision, the group quickly moved inside to escape the falling snow, and settling himself down on an old crate, Sam leaned his back against the wall to rest. Something that looked similar to straw was scattered across the stone floor, but with enough rocks at their disposal, it didn't look as if it would be too difficult to create a fire pit to safely contain the impending blaze. The room itself was quite bare with only a few old benches and even more crates scattered about the floor, and crossing his arms over his chest, Cody said, "It would probably be best to send a small team out to search for some wood. Four people and their digimon should be-yes, Embermon, you can be part of the search team."
"Ugh, but that means I have to go then!" Dai complained, sending the nearest crate a wistful look.
"The exercise will do you some good," Embermon shot back, sounding completely unsympathetic.
"Are you trying to say I'm out of shape!?"
Predictably, Dai's outbursts were ignored, and taking pity on her newly acquired boyfriend, Takara said, "Dovemon and I will go with."
"In that case, Cody, Armadillomon, Gotsumon, and I will go, as well," Rosa offered, smiling at the younger female. "It shouldn't take us too long."
"I wouldn't bet on that," Dai muttered, sending his partner an exasperated look.
Once the four had left with their digimon, everybody else proceeded to make themselves comfortable as best they could, and letting go of Halomon so the little digimon could join his partner, Sam once again found himself dwelling on his unrelenting thoughts. He'd been hoping Mickey would join him, but instead the older twin had gone to sit on one of the benches with Matty. T.K. and Kari were sitting on a pair of crates with their partners next to Mickey, and Celestimon and Halomon were curled up together in Mickey's lap. Frigimon had settled his large form on the ground in the corner nearest where the door would have been to help block some of the cold air, and Izzy, Mina, and their partners were seated on a bench to Matty's left. Ryoko and Alopemon were curled up on a crate next to the Izumi couple, and surveying the room Sam realised that left only his parents and their partners, who were talking softly near the broken wall.
Maybe Mickey needed a break from me. Even if he doesn't say it right out, it's obvious he's worried about our friendship. Not that I blame him. Without knowing my true feelings, no wonder my behaviour would make him worry. He's already hesitant around me. If this keeps up we might really start to drift away from each other, and I absolutely cannot let that happen.
Then again, maybe the older twin's decision not to sit by his side had nothing to do with him. Even from across the room, Sam could feel the thick tension between the two brothers, and perhaps it was due to that uncertainty between them that Mickey had chosen to sit with Matty in an attempt to reconnect with his twin.
Matty feels the same as I do, which is why I know my fears aren't unwarranted. He's doing everything he can to keep his emotions under control, which is causing some of the tension. It's like they're suspicious of how far the other is willing to go to protect what's important to them, and it's like watching a battle of wills that doesn't have a clear winner. Sooner or later, their stubborn behaviour is going to get them both into trouble, and when that happens, I need to be there to stop them from hurting each other...
"It's been quite a while since I've seen you look so serious," a gentle voice suddenly said softly in his ear, making him gasp in surprise. "Should I be worried?"
Caught up in his own conflicting thoughts, Sam had failed to notice his father's presence, and upon discovering the man had settled down next to him with Wormmon on a crate of his own, he managed a sheepish smile and said wearily, "I should know by now I can't get anything past you."
"Or me," his mother added, coming over with Hawkmon to sit on his other side. "Did you really think we wouldn't notice the change in your behaviour?"
"No, I knew you would. I just...didn't want to say anything until I was sure of my feelings."
"And I take it you've come to understand yourself better now?" his father asked, reaching out to wrap a comforting arm around his shoulders.
Sam immediately snuggled into the older man's side, and keeping a tight grip on his digimon partner, he said firmly, "I do. Whether or not that's helpful, well...I guess time will tell."
"Did you want to talk about it?' his mother asked gently, leaning over to rest her head against his violet hat.
Sam could feel the heat radiating off the two surrounding bodies soaking into his coat, and feeling safe in their presence, he cuddled closer to both his parents and said quietly, "Yes, I think I'm ready."
It's just like with Glowmon. I don't have to go through this alone. No matter what I tell them, I know my parents will always love me. They might even have some great advice, and they'll support me no matter what happens with Mickey. I need to believe in them, just like I need to believe in my friends.
"Would it be prudent for us to leave?" Hawkmon asked, gesturing to himself and Wormmon.
Sam quickly shook his head, and reaching out to stroke Hawkmon's feathers, he said firmly, "No, stay. You and Wormmon watch over me every bit as much as my parents do. I know they appreciate it, and that's why the two of you are such great partners to them."
"Sam would never leave you out," Glowmon agreed, beaming at the other two digimon.
"If there's anything we can do to help, just say the word," Wormmon promised.
Sam immediately felt warm inside, and gathering his thoughts together, he lifted his head to gaze into his father's eyes and said softly, "Hey, Dad...were you scared to tell Mom you love her?"
"Absolutely terrified," his father confessed, smiling at the memory. "I mean, look at her. Your mother is a strong and beautiful woman, and I honestly believed she was too good for me. It took everything I had just to get the words out, and in the end it turned out that I had nothing to worry about."
"Really?"
"Yes, because all along I felt the same way," his mother answered, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "Your father and I certainly danced our fair share of circles around each other, but eventually we got there in the end."
Is that what I'm doing with Mickey? Am I making the situation more complicated than it needs to be?
It was an interesting comparison, and squeezing his mother's hand in return, he whispered, "But what if there are more barriers than what you thought there were going to be?"
"Pardon me for asking, but what kind of barriers?" Hawkmon inquired, sounding genuinely curious.
Sam wasn't quite sure how to respond, and speaking in his place, Glowmon said honestly, "The human kind."
Huh, nicely put. That really does sum it up.
All around them, the others were chatting freely as they waited for Dai's group to return, but despite the silence in their own little circle of three humans and three digimon, the atmosphere was warm and comfortable. Sam could tell his parents were watching him closely, and shifting to pull him even closer, his father said gently, "I assume you're asking because at some point over the last little while, you've found yourself a special someone who's making you feel things you've never felt before. Does that sound pretty accurate to you?"
Sam let out a deep sigh, and wrapping his arms more firmly around Glowmon, he murmured, "Yeah, I'd say that sounds about right."
"We thought that might be it," his mother announced, confirming his earlier suspicions. "And that being said, I think your father and I have a pretty good idea of who that special person is."
I'm not surprised. They know me so well. Of course they would have already figured out it's Mickey I love.
The thought almost made him smile, and once again letting his head fall back against the stone wall, he turned his sapphire eyes to the ceiling and said, "If you've known this long, how come you haven't said anything until now?"
"Because we knew you weren't ready to talk about it before today," his father answered, tucking Wormmon more securely under his arm. "But since you were the one who brought it up just now, we figured that meant you had ultimately reached a point of understanding with your feelings, thus indicating you were ready to open up to us."
"You don't seem surprised. I mean, about the fact that it's Mickey."
"You and Mickey have always had something special," his mother insisted, hugging him tightly around the neck. "I'd consider myself a failure as your mother if I was surprised."
Sam appreciated the support, but at the same time his mother's words created a painful ache in his chest. No amount of encouragement in the world could alter reality, and knowing it was important to recognise the terrible truth, he said quietly, "While I appreciate the sentiment, you know there's a very good chance Mickey might not return my feelings, right?"
For some reason his parents exchanged meaningful looks, and speaking in a suspiciously neutral tone, his father said lightly, "There's always an element of risk involved, but if you don't admit your feelings to the person who's captured your heart, there's no chance at all."
He's right. If I say nothing and keep quiet about my feelings, I'll never have a chance with Mickey. Better to take the chance and fail then to live the rest of my life wondering if things could have been different...
Something about the ease in which his parents could speak to him about his attraction to Mickey felt so precious that for a moment he was at a loss for words, and struggling to speak, he whispered, "So you're saying I should be honest with Mickey and tell him the truth."
"Would we have ever told you anything different?" his mother inquired, raising her eyebrows.
"Sounds sensible enough to me," Hawkmon agreed.
This time, Sam did laugh, and holding him gently by the shoulders, his father said kindly, "I'm going to give you the same advice I gave Makku. Follow your heart, Sam. It'll never steer you in the wrong direction. Only you can make the decision for yourself. I know it's not easy, but ultimately you will always have a place in Mickey's heart. Let that be the motivation that guides you no matter what you choose to do."
Dad...
Sam immediately felt a lump in his throat, and hugging his parents tightly around the waist, he said tearfully, "Thank you, both of you. I really needed that."
"We love you, Sam," his mother reminded him. "We'll always be here when you need us. Don't ever forget you have our support, especially when it comes to Mickey."
"I won't."
"You have our support, as well," Hawkmon added, gesturing towards Wormmon and Glowmon to include the other two digimon in his declaration of loyalty. "Don't sell yourself short because we certainly wouldn't underestimate you."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
That was a lot easier than I thought it would be, but really was there ever any reason to be afraid? My parents had already shown their support for Makku ages ago. Why would they have treated their son any different? Deep down, I always knew they would support me, but it feels nice hearing the words straight from their mouths.
Feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Sam was content to snuggle between his parents while they waited for Dai's group to return, and glancing over at the twins, he frowned as Mickey suddenly turned beat red in the face before quickly looking away from him. Clearly, the older twin had seen him talking with his parents, but he wasn't concerned about the possibility of being overheard. Mickey was too far away to have heard much of anything, but he could imagine the image of his parents hugging him closely might have caused the older twin to worry about him.
He probably thinks I'm upset about something, but it's not that. I'm just trying to navigate through all this confusion...
"We're back!" a voice suddenly announced from the broken doorway, causing several members of the group to jump in surprise.
It was Dai who had spoken, and carrying an armful of wood, the goggle-headed leader quickly dropped the bundle into the stone pit Ryoko and T.K. had created while Sam was talking to his parents. Cody and Embermon were also carrying extras incase the fire died down too quickly, and straightening her hat, Takara said cheerfully, "Did we miss anything?"
"Not really," Ryoko replied, coming over to help Dai position the wood so Candlemon could light the bundle. "That didn't take as long as I thought it would."
"Only because Rosa got scary and told Embermon in no uncertain terms that if he held us up any longer she was going to chuck him into the frozen ocean," Dovemon giggled, looking very amused. "That got him moving quick enough."
"I mean really," Rosa scoffed, looking annoyed. "As long as the wood is dry enough, it'll do. I'm not going to trek around in the cold all day for a few branches."
"You just don't understand," Embermon grumbled, moving off to sulk next to Alopemon. "Building a fire is a fine art. If you're not going to do it the right way then I refuse to have any part of this!"
"You're not serious, are you?" Alopemon asked, rolling his deep blue eyes.
Embermon chose to ignore the little fox digimon, and once the stragglers had settled and the fire was roaring, Cody asked, "What are our plans after this?"
"Like I said before, we'll be descending into the valley that leads to the village, and the path gets pretty icy from here on out," Izzy warned, setting up a crate in front of the bench he was sharing with Mina so he could pull out his laptop. "That might be a bit of a problem, so we'll need to be careful."
"That's not the only problem we might have," Gatomon announced, her whiskers twitching as she turned to stare at Halomon.
"What do you mean?" Kari asked, looking startled.
Before the feline digimon could answer, Celestimon said quietly, "We have company."
"DarkAngelicmon?" Matty demanded, sitting straight up in his seat.
Sam immediately felt his body go on high alert, and leaning forward on his crate, he said quickly, "It's not Lucemon again, is it?"
"No," Halomon answered, his small face scrunching up in concentration as he attempted to focus on the presence that had captured his attention. "It's neither one of them."
Staring at the celestial digimon, T.K. said slowly, "Who then?"
If it's not one of those two...
It took a moment for Halomon to answer, and when he did, Sam immediately felt chills run down his spine.
"I feel something different. Something celestial in nature, but it's not like DarkAngelicmon or Lucemon at all. This presence feels evil..."