Character ages: Levi - 27; Natalie - 22; Karl - 27; Erwin - 32; Miche - 31; Hange - 24; Eld, Gunther - 22; Petra, Oluo - 19
Alright, so as always my lovelies, go ahead and enjoy this chapter and don't forget to toss me a little review, to let me know what you think~ ;)
P.S. All Attack on Titan characters belong to Isayama Hajime. I only own my OCs.
2. Tiny ball of emotions
~ 846 ~
"So you got us all here, first thing in the morning. What's this about?" Levi inquired.
Standing from his desk, the fair haired Commander walked over to the window while his officers watched attentively.
"I've received a request to transfer a soldier from the Military Police."
"...Request?" Miche frowned in confusion. "From who?"
"Karl Dietrich."
"If Karl recommended them, they must be good." Hange blinked, tilting their head pensively. "So what's the problem then?"
"Is it a family member?" Levi nearly cut the researcher off.
"His younger sister." Erwin replied, immediately feeling the shift in the air. "He assures me she's qualified based on her own abilities, and not on their familial ties."
At that he finally turned to face everyone with a trace of smile on his lips.
"I wish to test what Karl has told me about her. Therefore I ask all of you, should you see her around the barracks in the near future, to not send her away."
"Well, I suppose testing a soldier's resolve is better done here than out there." Miche shrugged with a half-smile. "That means I can play with her a bit, right? So long as I don't scare her off..."
"So you just want to mess with her, is that right?" Levi chimed in, his tone laced with a subtle note of annoyance. "If you do this with everyone, no one's going to want to join anymore."
"I have my reasons..." Erwin replied. "Karl is an outstanding genius and a formidable soldier; I merely wish to see if that runs in the family. You all are welcome to test her yourselves, if you wish to, so long as you don't overdo it."
The knock at the door interrupted him, and he moved to sit back at the desk.
"That is all for now; please relay the order to your squads so they won't bother her." he said, before calling out. "Come in!"
Upon opening the door and seeing everyone gathered there, the redhead hesitated until Erwin gestured for her to come in once the officers had vacated the office.
"Good morning, sir." she greeted, offering him a salute before holding out the letter to him. "My name is Natalie Dietrich. Karl told me I should bring this to you."
"Yes, Karl has mentioned you..." he replied from behind his interlocked hands, taking a moment to measure her from head to toe with a scrutinizing gaze. "However, now that I see you... let's just say you're not really what I expected. I don't believe you'll fare well in the Survey Corps."
"I graduated in the top ten of my class, sir. I assure you I possess the skills required for the kind of missions you undertake." she replied, clearly displeased by his analysis.
"I don't doubt your skills, only your... physical abilities. I'm afraid with your size you would only be a liability. Out there it's not the same as attacking a static wooden dummy. Real Titans that can move and grab you out of the air are a whole other story. I can't in good conscience accept your transfer; if only for your brother's sake. You would only be an easy meal for a real Titan."
"But—"
"I will say no more." he cut her off, silencing her and watching as she saluted him before storming out of the office, leaving him to smile to himself. 'Let's see if you're really as determined to join as Karl believes.'
'I can't believe this asshole!' she scowled, searching the barracks for her brother. 'To think Karl made him out to be such an amazing leader...'
Spotting the pair walking one of the corridors ahead, she hurried to catch up hoping they could help her not waste time looking for him.
"Excuse me!" she called out, prompting the two to stop and turn to her. "Do you happen to know where I could find Karl Dietrich?"
"Oh, so you're the sister huh?" Hange smiled, grabbing her hand for a shake. "I'm Section Commander Hange Zoë. It's a pleasure to meet you..."
"...Natalie Dietrich." she replied, somewhat caught off guard by their friendly demeanor.
"You're the transfer from the Military Police, right?" Levi inquired, measuring her from head to toe much in the same way Erwin had.
With her attention drawn to him, the redhead's gaze flashed a look of recognition that left him confused. At the same time he could have sworn he'd seen her before, but damn him if he could recall where. The sense of déjà-vu she gave him was very real, now that he was getting a proper look at her face. Had he met her somewhere before, or was he just being paranoid?
"That asshole doesn't think so..." she muttered, scowling at the floor something fierce, while trying her best to not pout.
"What was that?" Hange inquired, failing to fully catch her statement unlike Levi.
'I told you not to play with her, idiot...' he mused.
"Commander Erwin doesn't seem to think I'm cut out for the Survey Corps." she sighed, speaking at a more normal volume now. "He wasn't exactly... subtle about it, either. Although I suppose I should appreciate the honesty. I just... never thought my height would have any bearing on my ability to kill Titans."
"...Erwin said that?" the Section Commander blinked, clearly confused.
'You really couldn't find a better reason?' Levi himself scowled.
He perfectly understood her anger; even he felt irked by that comment. But then she leveled her frown at him and he arched a brow.
"How does that even make any sense? You don't look more than a few centimeters taller... if it's not an issue for you, why would it be for me?"
"She's not really wrong, Levi..." Hange agreed, while the Captain's knuckles whitened as he squeezed his arm.
"Shut up, you shitty four-eyes." he retorted, his brow twitching in annoyance as he looked over to the redhead. "Now look here you—"
"Natalie! There you are..." Karl called out from down the corridor, interrupting him. "Commander Erwin said you'd left already, when I went to see him."
Looking over to Levi's irate scowl, he frowned lightly at the girl.
"...Did you do anything to upset Captain Levi?"
"Huh? What are you on about? Why would I do anything to upset him?" she retorted, pouting when he plopped a hand onto her head.
"I apologize for her, Captain. I'll make sure she won't anger you again." Karl stated, before dragging her away.
Having been informed of Erwin's plans for his sister, the young man was left only to encourage her into seeking a second audience with the Commander and try to plead her cause.
"Maybe if you try to convince him to let you demonstrate your skill, he'd change his mind." he suggested. "I know how well you did in school, sure, but he didn't get to see you in action."
"Can't you just talk to him?"
"Now look here..." the young man chuckled, tousling her hair. "Do you want to join because you're my sister, or because you're a talented soldier? I already recommended you; if I do any more then you'll just gain the reputation of joining on favoritism."
"I guess you're right..." she sighed. "So, he's always in his office that early in the morning?"
"On most days, yes, unless something comes up."
"Fine, I'll go back tomorrow." she replied, carefully pocketing the letter in her jacket.
Doing as she had promised, the following morning she was to be found facing the door to the Commander's office.
'Alright... just don't get pissed, no matter what he says. You can think your way through this.' she mused, taking a deep breath.
Knocking, she entered the office once the man had called his permission for her to do so, startling him. Truthfully, she too had been startled to see Levi there – apparently she had interrupted some discussion they were having, but she couldn't let that deter her.
"I wish to discuss your refusal, Commander." she stated, after saluting them.
"Oh?" Erwin replied after exchanging a brief look with Levi, sounding intrigued – maybe that was a good chance to test her intelligence. "Very well..."
"May I speak freely, sir?"
Narrowing his eyes in curiosity, he nodded his permission watching as she clasped her hands behind her back and slipped into a more relaxed stance.
"I believe your decision yesterday was shallow and rash, and I find it odd that you would reach such a conclusion based on the motive you gave me." she said, trying her best to maintain as respectful a tone as possible. "However, as you are entitled to your opinion, I wish to be given a chance to refute it. I would demonstrate my skills to you and have you reconsider your decision based on that, rather than my appearance alone."
At that her eyes went over to Levi, and she hesitated only for a moment before speaking again.
"At the risk of upsetting the Captain again..." she said, having concluded by then that her comment about his height had been the reason for his anger the previous day. "With all due respect, Commander, if you don't consider his height a problem I see no reason why you would consider mine an issue."
'I told you to find a better reason, idiot...' Levi huffed, as that had been the exact thing they had been discussing upon her arrival.
"I understand your point; however my decision yesterday was final." Erwin at last replied, having so far tried his best to hold back a smile. "You are not suited for the Survey Corps. Being a Scout is about much more, than just physical abilities..."
'What the heck does that mean?' she mused, narrowing her eyes at him before an idea suddenly hit her. 'Is this... a test? Maybe he wants to see if I'm really serious about joining or not.'
"Very well." she replied, saluting them and leaving the office.
"Looks like she caught onto it..." Levi commented, having picked up on the change in her tone.
"I believe so... we'll see if she rises to the occasion or not." the Commander at last smiled.
"Just don't overdo it."
Though none of them had really expected her to, over the course of the following couple days Natalie had memorized Erwin's schedule and begun tailing him all around the barracks. She didn't try to argue with him, nor did she interfere with his activities, but she was always there. Whenever he was in his office, she would stand across the hallway from his door like a statue for hours on end.
'If you want to see who the truly stubborn one is, you've challenged the wrong person.' she repeated to herself.
After the fifth day of her new routine, Karl had scolded her for skipping meals and had tried convincing her to join him for lunch.
"Go away... I'm busy." she retorted.
"I swear!" he frowned with an annoyed sigh. "What do you think you'll accomplish if you end up in the hospital? Do you really think that's what the Commander would want?"
"If he doesn't want that, then he'll stop being a stubborn asshole and accept my transfer letter."
"Hey, heads up!"
Though she recognized Levi's voice calling from down the hallway, her reflex kicked in before she could turn to see the man. Raising a hand, she caught what he had thrown at her prior to it hitting her in the face. While he now approached them, she lowered her gaze to what she had caught to see it was a cracker.
"Stubbornness is good... in moderation." he scolded her, making her pout.
"Natalie!" Karl frowned.
"Thank you, Captain..." she muttered, intently looking away from him when her stomach growled making her blush.
"There's no point in you joining, if you'll just spend your first days bedridden." Levi replied, crossing his arms with a light sigh. "I'll talk to Erwin."
That little game of his had gone on long enough; to Levi it was more than clear that she had the determination to join them. And she had the intelligence too, given how she had figured out he was testing her and reacted accordingly.
"Captain—" Karl blinked, caught off guard that Levi would do something nice for anyone.
"Really?!" Natalie cut him off, turning to properly face Levi and searching his gaze for any hint that he might have been lying. "You really mean it? You're not... messing with me, are you?"
"Hey, mind your manners!" her brother scolded her.
"I see Miche already visited you." Levi replied matter-of-factly.
"Yes..." she deflated, shuddering lightly and squeezing the cracker. "I swear... that creep should be behind bars."
"Well, I'm being serious. I'll talk to Erwin later."
In wake of his reassurance Natalie's gaze came to life at last, and for a split second she nearly lost control of her expression. He really hadn't changed... he was still so kind, after all those years.
"Thank you..." she replied now, holding the cracker to her chest like a precious memento.
Her heartfelt tone had softened at the memory of their first meeting, mingled with the sad realization that he didn't seem to remember her. At least, going by the confused spark she could see in his eyes at her reaction that was what she concluded.
'It doesn't matter... I remember you and what you did for me back then. Who would have thought you would be the one to help me again, after all this time?'
And true to his promise, Levi had indeed returned to Erwin's office that evening entering without any knock and startling the fair haired Commander from his paperwork.
"What is it, Levi?"
"You've had your fun... Miche's had his fun... I think it's about enough." he stated. "You're pushing her too much; at this rate she'll end up in the hospital rather than in our ranks."
"This is a surprise." Erwin smiled. "I didn't expect you to be the one who would speak up for her. Why?"
"Because I don't enjoy playing stupid games like this, with anyone. She clearly is stubborn and determined enough. And she has the skills; I read her instructor's reports from her training days. Anyone who finishes second in their class should be more than qualified for our ranks, and you know that."
Though he kept smiling, Erwin lightly narrowed his eyes at that. The Levi he knew wasn't someone who would so quickly get invested in a new recruit. Was there something more to that girl? Something that perhaps even Karl was unaware of?
"Very well..." he concluded in the end. "Would you please let her know I want to see her first thing tomorrow morning?"
~ oOo ~
"Alright, that's the plan. I'm looking forward to seeing the Special Operations Squad in action." Karl smiled, looking from the eager faces of the four members to their Captain's aloof expression.
He had just gotten to his feet when a knock at the door of the meeting hall drew everyone's attention.
"Come in." Levi called out, certain it was the insane Titan-lover who wouldn't leave them alone until they said what they wanted.
He had just raised his teacup to take another sip when the confused expressions of his team piqued his curiosity. Clearly then, it wasn't Hange... but when he made to turn and look over his shoulder, all he could see was a mass of red hair rushing past him in a blur. It took a moment for him to realize the owner of said hair was now clinging for dear life onto Karl, who looked a bit more than embarrassed.
"Hey... cut it out, Natalie..." he retorted awkwardly. "You're too old to do this kind of thing anymore."
"Please... you know you enjoy it." the girl replied, though she did heed his request and stepped back.
"Sorry, everyone... this is my younger sister, Natalie. Commander Erwin just accepted her transfer from the Military Police, this morning." Karl smiled, weighing a gentle hand onto her shoulder. "Come on, greet your seniors properly."
Her serious expression not changing in the least, the redhead offered a proper salute before frowning at her brother.
"Don't just say it like it was nothing. You know full well how long I had to stalk Erwin to give him that transfer letter." she retorted after slipping back into a more relaxed stance.
"Yes, yes, I know..." he sighed. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"
"Your sister's a real cutie, Karl." Petra smiled with the air of an older sibling. "But are you sure about letting her join the Scouts? She would've had a much easier life with the Military Police."
"I'd rather hang around Titans, than spend another minute with those heaps of trash." the redhead shrugged before her brother could reply. "At least the Titans won't try to grope me whenever they see me."
"No, they'll just eat you." Levi finally chimed in.
When her emerald gaze moved over to him was when Petra finally noticed a spark of life coming to the girl's eyes. It wasn't some extraordinary change, but to her it seemed like the redhead's entire being had lit up.
'I'll bet anything she's got a crush on the Captain.' she mused with a sympathetic smile.
It was very endearing but also kind of sad, knowing Levi's disinterest in everything related to romance.
"Either way, welcome to the Survey Corps." she finally said again, her smile softening somewhat. "I'll be looking forward to seeing you grow here."
Maybe it was because women were a rare thing in that branch of the military, but she felt a form of closeness to the new recruit. Hopefully they could become friends even if they didn't share the same squad. She could have been wrong, but she was certain that beneath the redhead's no-nonsense exterior was actually a very sensitive and emotional soul – one that needed a certain touch to reveal itself.
~ oOo ~
"Well, here he is..." Ness smiled leading out what had to be the largest horse Natalie had ever seen. "This is Ran and I think he's perfect for you. Don't let his size scare you; he's as gentle as a puppy."
As if understanding she was his new rider when Ness handed her the reins, the stallion lowered his head to sniff and snort into her hair making her giggle when his breath tickled her.
"Looks like he likes you... take good care of him, and he'll take care of you out there." Ness nodded, before his smile turned to an earnest look. "Beyond the walls you're dead without your horse. So it's imperative that you build a strong bond with him as soon as possible, understand? You don't want to be left stranded after you've taken down a Titan, when your horse runs away without you and doesn't come back."
"Got it, Squad Leader Ness."
Over the course of the following month Ness had spared her a lot of her other duties, to allow her time to bond with her new steed before the mission. Without much planning, Natalie had thus ended up spending hours on end at the stables grooming the stallion, feeding him and cleaning his stall. Sometimes she would take him out for long rides, finding some beautiful clearing to stop in and let him graze while she read a book. Other times she would sit in his pen on a pillowing of hay, telling him about her new life in the Survey Corps' barracks.
On the eve of the mission she had just opened his stall after making sure to feed and water him, when out of the blue the stallion lowered himself onto the hay scattered on the floor.
"Ran? What is it?" she asked, rushing over to check him for any sign that he was unwell.
She had just knelt next to him, when the steed turned his head pushing her lightly against his side. At first she failed to understand, but when he refused to let her get up she felt a smile tugging at her lips.
"You want to sit with me? Is that it?"
Of course he couldn't answer, but sometimes she could swear she saw an incredible level of intelligence in his eyes. Settling down she leaned against the horse's side, enjoying the feeling of his steady heartbeat. She didn't know how long she spent talking to him, but eventually the warmth of his body lulled her to sleep.
It was like that that Levi found her in the end. Karl had grown worried when she had failed to show up for dinner and had asked him to help look for her. He still didn't know why he had agreed rather than sending some rookie to do that; it wasn't like he and Karl were close friends, or anything. But now that he was seeing her sleeping so peacefully, looking so frail with her small body gently rocking to the pace of her horse's breathing, he felt an inexplicable urge to take care of her. Something he hadn't felt since first meeting Isabel... no, it was something he hadn't felt since even before then.
"Idiot..." he whispered, leaning down to gather her off the floor. "You'll catch a cold if you sleep out here."
It startled him when, in her half-asleep state, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck, mumbling something unintelligible. Likely she hadn't realized he wasn't her brother, but he had still nearly dropped her in surprise. Biting back a sigh he closed the stall door with his foot before heading out of the stables. On his way back to the barracks he found his gaze drawn to the fiery cascade of hair flowing down her shoulder, as he had numerous times over the past few weeks. It was an odd feeling that gripped him as he watched the ruby strands shining in the moonlight. Curious, he gave himself over to it, unaware that he had stopped walking.
'Who are you? Have we met before?'
No sooner had he pondered that, than his mind at last resurfaced a memory he hadn't thought of in so many years, that it almost seemed like a dream now. How old had he been back then... fifteen maybe...?
=0=0=
He couldn't believe how stupid those newly hired oafs were; how easy it had been to slip past them by scaling the rocky wall beside the stairway. Maybe it hadn't been the smartest decision, maybe he had been incredibly reckless, but he refused to die without seeing the surface world at least once. Having slipped up to the entrance, however, he still had to stick to the back alleys to avoid the Military Police. In the end he had taken to the rooftops, spending some time basking in the sun. No matter the risks the trip was worth it, he thought as he lay on the warm tiles watching the clear sky above. If only his mother had lived to see it...
He was about to doze off in the warm light, when a voice cut through the air startling him.
"Miss, come back! Please... don't run off on your own!"
Sitting up he spotted a maid calling after a little girl running along the street, chasing two other kids who had apparently beckoned her to play with them. He would have thought nothing of it other than a momentary distraction, had he not noticed the two men emerging from the next alley over to follow the trio while blending among the passersby. Those two didn't look like they belonged up there, among the rich dressed in fancy clothes, and he chanced a guess that they were from the Underground like him.
'Whatever... not my problem. Let those idiots in the Military Police handle it.' he mused, letting himself fall onto his back again.
Again he closed his eyes to enjoy the warmth of the sun... that was, until his mother's dismayed face flashed through his mind. Kenny had taught him to care for no one else other than himself, but his mother had always tried to raise him to be selfless and kind. Had she lived, she would have certainly been disappointed in him... well, so much for his relaxing day.
"Fuck it..." he frowned at the sky, getting to his feet and taking off along the roofs after the kids.
By the time he reached the end of the street, the two boys had lured the girl into the alleyway next to the Underground entrance. So he had been right... the two men following them were flesh peddlers. Checking that he had his knife on him, he moved down from the roof onto the wall separating the alleyway from the next street over.
"I wish I could come meet your friends, but if I'm not home by noon Mama will be upset with me." the girl said, drawing his focus to them.
"Forget that..." one of the boys protested, reaching to take one of her hands. "We'll have lots of fun!"
"Yeah!" the other one agreed, grabbing her by the other hand. "She won't be upset, you'll see... we'll play lots of games with our friends."
It was when they tried to drag her towards the stairway, despite her protests, that he at last leapt down behind them grabbing the girl by the scruff of her dress and pulling her out of their grasp.
"Go home, you shitty brats!" he ordered and his icy glare sent the boys running off screaming.
As he had expected, not long afterwards the two men showed up at the entrance to the alleyway. Though at first they were surprised to see him, he knew they recognized by his clothes that he was from the Underground same as them.
"Guess those little street rats were useless after all." one of them grinned, walking towards them. "Well, you can hand her over. Sorry for the trouble, kid."
Apparently sensing the danger, the girl retreated behind him and he felt her tremors passing to his body as she hugged his leg.
"And if I refuse?"
"What?!"
"Wait a minute, Franz... we don't want to draw the MPs here." the second one chimed in to calm his partner. "Listen kid... you look like the kind of guy who knows a good deal when he sees one. You know how much girls like her sell for? We could give you a cut of the profits. You could even join us; with that pretty face, you'd easily lure any girl away. What do you say?"
When he failed to reply, the first one again lost his patience and stepped forth.
"Give her here!"
But the man's scowl faded in a painful yelp when he drew his knife and nearly sliced off a finger. At the same time his left arm came up, his hand clenched in a fist which he used to punch the man square in the nose, the frail appendage breaking with a sickening crunch while the peddler fell onto his rear.
"Are you going to be next?" he asked, leveling his disgusted scowl at the second man while twirling the bloodied knife.
"N-no... we'll just..." the man stammered, grabbing his partner and pulling him to his feet. "She's all yours!"
On that note the two vanished from the alley towards the stairway, leaving him to huff and reach for the cloth in his pocket to clean his blade.
"What is it?" he asked, upon noticing the girl hadn't let go of his leg. "Go home already... this isn't the place for rich girls like you."
Her sniffle nearly made him sigh, before her loud sobs startled him almost into dropping the knife. Huffing at that he gently pried her away from him so he could crouch in front of her, only to jerk in surprise again when she clenched her tiny hands onto his shirt.
"Don't cry, you're safe." he said, sighing; he really wasn't good with kids.
Maybe he could... would patting her head work to calm her down, before she attracted the attention of the entire street? He remembered Kenny doing it to him a few times, but the motions still felt awkward as he plopped a hand onto her head, clumsily tousling her ruby locks. To his great relief it seemed to work to some extent; at the very least she wasn't wailing anymore, instead watching him with those huge emerald eyes, with such an unabashedly disarmed stare full of nothing but the sincerest emotions.
"What's your name?" he asked, trying to distract her so she wouldn't start crying again.
"N-Natalie..." she hiccupped.
"How old are you?"
"Ten..."
Ten years old... that gave him a whole new level of disgust for the situation, and made him regret he hadn't done more to those assholes than just breaking a nose.
"Don't run away from your handlers next time, alright? Kids like you always get kidnapped and sold around here."
When she nodded, he sighed softly again this time feeling a smile tugging at his lips. Turning the cloth over onto its clean side he used it to wipe the tears and snot off her face, before tousling her hair again. He had to wonder... had Kenny felt the same when they'd first met? Had he pitied him, had he felt the urge to protect him, to look after him?
"Thank you... onii-chan..." she at last said, apparently remembering her manners.
He would have told her to forget about it, to forget she had ever met him, however the gurgle of his stomach startled both of them and reminded him he hadn't eaten since the previous morning.
"Are you hungry?" she blinked. "You're... from the poor city below, right?"
It seemed she was smarter than he had given her credit for, if she had been able to understand that much from his interaction with those idiots earlier.
"Yeah. But it can't be helped; I don't have money." he replied matter-of-factly.
Maybe he would take another contract that evening, or wait for the merchants to come down later in the day and steal some food. But then she let go of his shirt and stepped back bending down to remove her shoes, startling him when she flung them into his arms. Taking off her dress as well she tossed it to him, keeping only the chemise she'd been wearing underneath.
"There... you can sell those for money, right?" she smiled, leaving him to stare at her in sincere surprise. "It's a thank you for being kind, onii-chan..."
With that she took off before he could say anything, going out into the street where she ran into the maid who had been frantically searching for her.
=0=0=
It was her; the same kid from back then... and the sudden realization left him with mixed feelings. He had to wonder – did she even know that he was the guy from that day? Did she even remember what had happened back then? Did she know that her gesture had fed him for an entire week? Or that, years later, he had taken Isabel in because she reminded him of her?
'Huh... didn't know I apparently have a thing for redheads.' he mused, finding it odd that he had never really been able to say he liked any one color, before.
But then his mind turned her hair into a river of blood and eventually the dead expression of his friend.
'Isabel...'
His jaw tightened at the image, even if some tiny part of him was aware that she was just a memory – that the girl in his arms wasn't her. But that did nothing for the way his heart squeezed painfully in him, his body in turn making him clench his hands. The growing discomfort in her thigh was what eventually fully awakened Natalie, prompting her to tilt her head back.
"Karl, what are y—?"
Her voice died in a gasp when she found herself eye to eye with... not Karl. It was such an unexpected incident that her mind blanked, leaving her unable to speak or move. She could only stare at him with a gaze so full of emotion that it left even Levi speechless for a moment. He had watched her before out of curiosity – the only times he had ever seen any real life in her gaze was for Karl, for her horse... and for him. But it was beyond him why he would be included on that short list.
"You shouldn't worry your brother like that." he eventually said, setting her on her feet.
Fleetingly he had the thought that it felt strange to look down at the woman in front of him, for once, when he realized she was about half a head shorter than him, now that they were standing so close. He wasn't really used to that, considering most every other female he'd ever interacted with was quite a bit taller. However, that alone was enough to stir his protective impulses.
'Why are you here?' he found himself pondering. 'You're so absurdly tiny...'
"I... apologize, Captain..." the redhead replied, finally regaining her wits and nearly startling him in the process.
There it was again; every time she looked at him, her eyes shimmered to life. But what he found the oddest thing of all – knowing that he elicited such reactions in her, did something for him. It struck a chord somewhere deep inside him; it touched some reclusive corner of his being and left an echo, like a pebble making ripples on the surface of a lake. Maybe he really was pathetic and unable to close off his emotions, like Erwin had advised him on that day which now seemed like an eternity ago.
"Go get some sleep, Dietrich. We're leaving in the morning." he finally said, his expression unflinching in spite of his thoughts.
~ oOo ~
"Well?" Ness called out with a grin, as he steered his mare next to Natalie's steed. "What do you think of the great outdoors, rookie?"
"It's great..." the redhead replied, though her smile didn't quite reach up to light her eyes.
Yes she was beyond herself with joy to finally be out of those cramped walls, but she was so nervous that she felt like she would vomit her breakfast any minute. They hadn't yet split into the formation Erwin had devised for that mission, and so the large group was an amalgamation of all the separate squads.
"Just try not to piss your pants when you see a Titan, and you'll do fine." Karl grinned from the other side of her.
"Don't worry..." Petra called out from two rows away where she was riding next to Levi and the rest of her squad. "We won't let any Titans get close to you rookies on your first mission! You'll be alright!"
Though her words served to somewhat calm Natalie's frazzled nerves, they also spurred her desire to prove her worth. It was no secret anymore that she had graduated in the top ten of her class, having only chosen the Military Police as a way to appease her parents' concerns. But her heart had always lain with the Scouts, having heard so many of her brother's stories after he had joined.
It was almost noon when Erwin gave the order to stop so as to give the horses a breather, and let everyone eat. While Karl – having taken a moment to reassure her that he would keep her safe – had joined the recently appointed Commander to go over their plans for the rest of the day, Natalie had made sure to water her horse before going on to re-check her equipment. Having not heard the man walking up behind her, she was startled by the hand that entered her field of vision, holding a cracker.
"Eat... fighting Titans on an empty stomach isn't a good idea." he said, feeling somewhat nostalgic; she was just as bad at taking care of herself as he remembered.
Looking up to Levi's unchanging expression, she gave up on checking her harness for the hundredth time and accepted the ration.
"I know it's nerve wracking, but you won't die today." the Captain retorted, seeing how she was just staring at the thing rather than eating. "I've got a good feeling about you... you'll do fine."
Again she was startled when his hand weighed on her shoulder, and though it was subtle she could swear his gaze had changed. Not that she knew how to read what she was seeing, but for some weird reason it gave her courage and made her feel like nothing could take her down. With only a wordless nod, she tore into the wrapper to take a bite of her food. No sooner had she finished eating than Erwin ordered the group to move out, not wanting to risk drawing Titans to them by staying in one spot for too long.
"We will now go into formation, as we head deeper into Titan territory." he called out over the mounted Scouts. "Everyone stick to your squads; rookies, follow every order your Squad Leaders give you – it will keep you alive! Onward!"
With that final call he turned his horse around and set off, followed closely by Karl and the rest of his own squad.
"Let's go, you guys!" Ness called out to his group. "Stick close to me and Siss, and don't freak out if you spot a Titan!"
Spurring her stallion onward to follow him, Natalie finally got a moment to check on the formation. Her squad was right behind Erwin's and she was certain it wasn't because they were some outstanding rookies. But she dearly hoped it wasn't just Karl's attempt to keep her close in case things took a turn for the worse. She couldn't blame him for being anxious that his little sister was there, but she was going to prove that she could stand on her own two feet. Three rows away at the front of the column was Levi's squad; it seemed like the entire outer ring of the formation was made up of veteran teams, with the rookies bunched up in the middle. It made her think of a flock of birds trying to protect their young by keeping them away from the edges of the group.
Her contemplation was soon interrupted, however, by a blast coming from behind her. Looking over her shoulder she spotted the red smoke signaling a Titan approaching, and felt her knuckles clenching onto the reins. She was eerily calm, and yet it seemed her body perceived some level of fear deep in her psyche. But then another blast gained her attention, and another...
'A group of Titans?' she mused, turning her gaze to Ness to await any orders.
For what seemed like an eternally long moment nothing happened. And then she heard the thudding steps growing louder as the pack started catching up to them.
"Don't worry!" Ness called out without looking back. "The squads at the back will take care of them! You all just focus on riding as fast as you can!"
"Then what were those flares for?" one of the male recruits inquired, a more than obvious tremor in his voice.
"Even the best of soldiers can't tell how things will play out." Natalie retorted. "That was just a precaution, on the odd chance that any Titans slip through their defense."
"That's right." Ness agreed. "Better to have everyone be ready for no reason, than to be in the dark with a Titan on your heels."
Another blast interrupted the Squad Leader, however, and Natalie was left to scowl at the trail of black smoke rising from their left.
"An Abnormal... be careful!" Ness warned them. "These ones are unpredictable."
It wasn't more than a minute later that they saw it: larger than any creature she had ever encountered, it was making a beeline towards the center of the formation. Beyond its size and eerie grin, the most disturbing thing about it was how it was scurrying along on all fours like an overgrown cockroach.
"Damn it! Siss, get ready!" Ness shouted when the creature plowed through the two squads on their left side. "Don't let it get near the rookies! You guys keep following Commander Erwin's group for now!"
Though she had intended to do as ordered, Natalie was startled when one of the boys in her group succumbed to fear and broke off drawing the attention of the Abnormal.
"Engel!" she called out.
But he could no longer hear her, too busy screaming in fright as the Titan chased him. Biting back an expletive, she pulled on the reins to turn her horse around and went after them.
"Where are you going, Dietrich?!" Ness called out behind her. "Idiot... come back!"
By the time they'd gotten back on their horses to follow, she was already catching up to the Titan. Fortunately it seemed to be so fixated on her squad mate that it was completely ignoring her for now, giving her the chance to line up her steed behind it. Pulling her legs beneath her on the saddle she took hold of the sword hilts to adjust the axis of her ODM gear. Hooking herself into the creature's lower back she pushed up like a spring, using the cables and the inertia of the Titan's motions to go airborne. Only then did she bring out two of her blades and began rolling the cable back to pull herself towards her prey.
'That's all you are... an oversized prey! I won't let you do as you please!'
The following minutes were a blur of motions, flesh slicing and blood sprays as she hacked away at any part of the Titan that she could reach, without regard for technique or safety. The only thing on her mind was to injure it so badly that it would stop moving, so she could kill it before it killed her teammate. All the while she was unaware that the rest of the Scouts were watching the whole scene unfolding. But none seemed more stricken than Levi, whose wide-eyed expression was something Petra didn't know whether to worry about or not.
Eventually with the creature collapsing onto its face as she sheared away most of the muscle mass on its limbs, Natalie hooked herself into its back again and sliced its nape. For a few moments she stood atop her first kill, covered in blood which was quickly turning to steam, trying to catch her breath as the adrenaline still boiled in her veins.
"Are you alright?" she finally asked, leaping off the disintegrating corpse where her squad member had stopped.
"Y-yeah..." the teen gulped, still shocked by what he had witnessed. 'S-she's a devil...'
Watching him in silence for a moment as if to ascertain that he wasn't lying, she then unhooked the blades letting them drop.
"Tch... I dulled them." she muttered, replacing the empty hilts in their holsters before looking back to her teammate. "Good. Then get back in formation."
Mounting her horse when he returned to her side, she was just about to gallop back to where Erwin had stopped the entire group for now, only to come face to face with Ness' scowl.
"What in the world were you thinking, Dietrich? I told you to not chase it!"
"If I hadn't you'd be picking up a corpse now, sir. Assuming there would have been anything left of him, to pick up."
"For crap's sake, you kids are gonna be the death of me." the man sighed, shaking his head in resignation. "Get back in formation, both of you! I'll see to your punishments when we get back to the barracks."
At that he waited until the two had left, before casting his eyes to the mangled carcass still evaporating.
'Still... she did a terrifying amount of damage to it.'
He hadn't ever seen a Scout doing that; except maybe Levi. Perhaps she was better suited for his squad. If she could do that much as a newbie, he could only imagine how much more she could achieve in the proper environment.
~ oOo ~
The sun had almost entirely dipped beneath the horizon when the formation reached an abandoned village. The houses seemed mostly intact and seeing how familiar the older Scouts were with the settlement, Natalie figured it wasn't the first time they had used it as a campsite. A short while later, after unsaddling Ran and feeding him, she had joined her squad around a fire. The unexpected surprise of the evening came in the form of Petra and her team asking to join them, the young woman dragging a less-than-pleased looking Levi along.
Unbeknownst to her, Petra had seen the young Captain offering Natalie the rations earlier that day and had promised herself that she would do anything she could to see where that led. She had always believed Levi was a kind and caring soul, and that the deaths of his friends had left behind a wound that wasn't healing. But seeing him taking care of Natalie was refreshing, and she hoped he could latch onto that in order to hold on to his humanity.
'I know you probably hate me right now, Captain...' she mused watching as Levi took a seat next to Ness. 'But if I'm right about this, you're going to thank me one day.'
"Don't worry, Titans don't move at night." Siss smiled as he stirred the pot of canned beans which would make up their dinner, seeing that the redhead was looking at the Scouts posted on the nearby roofs. "It's just a precaution; you can never be too careful out here. So you can rest easy."
"Does she seem worried to you?" one of the other newbies cracked a laugh. "She took down an Abnormal on her own. I think the Titans should be worried about her."
"Don't say stupid things." she retorted in her usual soft tone, as she turned back to the fire. "I was just lucky that it was focused on getting Engel."
"Still, that was an impressive spectacle today; especially for a rookie. Clearly your talents were wasted in the Military Police." Eld agreed. "But Karl was right to scold you earlier, as well. You shouldn't just rush head first into danger like that, on your own. You could have died and that would've accomplished nothing."
At first Natalie didn't answer, looking like she was trying to shrink into her cloak.
"I just... didn't want to see my teammate dying..."
Her reply left a deep silence behind, and yet everyone there could easily relate to that feeling of wanting to protect one's comrades.
"It is an admirable thing, nonetheless." Petra finally said with a sympathetic smile. "Just make sure you always look out for yourself as well. You need to stay alive, so you can keep others alive too."
"And if you die, you won't amount to anything." Levi at last chimed in, the redhead's words reminding him of his failure to protect his friends. "Everyone puts so much stock on giving your life for humanity, but when you die all the help you could give to everyone dies with you. Do whatever you have to do to stay alive as long as possible, if you want to be useful to humanity. And do whatever you have to do to keep as many people alive as you can, without dying. But never forget that you won't always be able to save everyone; you have to know when to let go as well. Don't die for humanity... live for it..."
Having watched him in silence as he spoke, Natalie found that his last words struck her deeply. He was clearly speaking from personal experience, if the surge of emotion in his tone was anything to go by. She had expected that he'd lost people dear to him since joining the Survey Corps two years earlier, but to hear him actually saying it – even if indirectly...
"I'm sorry..." she replied, finally prompting him to turn his gaze up to her.
Yes, he had intentionally avoided looking at her just in case anyone got any stupid ideas from that. He was generally a very reserved man anyway, but especially so around rookies. Sometimes youngsters like them could get the wildest thoughts from gestures that otherwise meant nothing. But he had picked up on the choked tone in her voice, even if it seemed like he was the only one. And seeing the way her eyes shimmered in the light of the fire, like she was about to tear up any minute, only confirmed it. True, he hadn't intended to reveal so much and in some way had hoped she wasn't intelligent enough to pick up on the meaning hidden behind his advice. But at the same time it brought a nice, warm feeling to his chest to know someone could understand him even when he was trying to be cryptic.
~ oOo ~
It was during the darkest hours just before dawn that Levi was to be found leaving the house where he'd taken refuge with his squad for the night. As usual sleep was an elusive friend yet again, leaving him to sigh as he went for a walk to stretch his legs. He sometimes envied everyone who didn't have to battle insomnia, as evidenced in his displeased expression as he moved through the dark, quiet village – the only sounds heard being the lookouts as they shuffled about in the night.
But then he arrived back where he'd been sitting earlier, to find the fire still burning with Natalie staring absentmindedly into the flames. She had settled onto the grass, leaning against the large log she had used as a seat earlier, a blanket wrapped around her to ward off the cold night air.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping, Dietrich?" he inquired, startling the girl when he moved to sit next to her and warm up by the fire.
"I just... I was thinking..." she replied at last, lowering her eyes.
For a moment they were both silent until Levi heaved a sigh and reached over to plop a hand onto her head. He was somewhat awkward, as he hadn't done that anymore since Isabel... and yet it felt nice to be able to get close in such a way to another human being, again.
"You didn't do anything wrong. Yes, it was a risk... yes, it was stupid... but it wasn't a wrong call. Your teammate would have been dead if you hadn't followed him. If anything, we veterans should take the blame for today. We all froze up and that's why you had to risk your life." he stated, pointedly looking away even when he was aware she was gawking at him.
She was clearly talented and strong, if lacking in self confidence. And he didn't really mind helping her with that, as weird as the realization was even for him.
"Thank you... Captain..." she eventually replied after he withdrew his hand, her voice more emotional than he had ever heard it.
Again they fell into a comfortable sort of silence for a while, only listening to the wood cracking as it burned away.
"Say, Captain..." she spoke again at long last, drawing his gaze to her. "Why did you join the Survey Corps?"
Well... that was a question and a half, as far as Levi was concerned, and at first he remained silent mulling over how to respond. Normally he wouldn't have even considered answering and reliving everything, but she'd had this weird effect on him from the first time he had seen her. For once he actually felt willing to talk; he wanted someone to hear about his friends, to be aware that they had existed in that world, because he felt like that would somehow give more gravity to their lives.
"Because I lost to Erwin Smith." he finally stated, staring into the dancing flames. "Before I joined the Survey Corps I lived in the Underground. I made a name for myself in that dark, unseen world beneath the surface; as a thug and an assassin for hire. I had only one close friend, but down there you don't really need more than that. And Furlan was the best associate anyone in my field of work could ask for. Eventually we got our hands on maneuver gear through the black market and started training to use it. We became the best and also the most hunted outlaws there. Later on we met Isabel; I still don't know why we took her in, but we did. We trained her to use the gear as well and had her helping us on less dangerous contracts."
Already Natalie suspected those two were the ones he had referenced earlier that night, but though she was burning with curiosity she also didn't want to rush him in any way.
"Eventually one of Furlan's friends, who'd helped us on a number of occasions, got sick. He needed treatment at a hospital above ground, but we couldn't afford to pay the fees of going up there and getting him treated. And then one day, one of those rich pigs in Wall Sina contracted us: to retrieve a document from one Erwin Smith, and then to assassinate him. He promised that in return he would give us not just money, but also the papers we needed to become citizens in the surface district. He even had our friend brought up to one of the best hospitals around and paid for his treatment. That meant that he was both a hostage and insurance that we would take the job."
"That's..." the redhead replied, feeling conflicted about the situation.
"It's a load of shit, no matter how you look at it..." Levi shook his head. "So we had no choice but to try and get in touch with Erwin. We had his squad following us into the Underground, and let him catch us. But Erwin didn't arrest us; he saw something more than that and had us joining the Survey Corps – which worked perfectly for our plan. And then..."
Even when he fell silent, Natalie could see him reliving his friends' deaths. It was incredibly subtle, but his expression had changed – and she probably would have missed it, had she not been paying attention.
"It was our first mission as part of the Survey Corps." the young Captain at last continued, a heaviness in his tone which she was certain showed that he was mourning them even now; that he had never really moved on. "By that afternoon the weather turned bad, with heavy rain and fog. I decided to kill Erwin then and there, using the storm as cover so I could mask it as a Titan attack. I only left them for a few minutes... by the time we saw the Titans surrounding us it was too late. When the first one hit our left flank, I hesitated between killing Erwin and going back for them; because of that, I was too late. I did kill the Titan that ate my friends, but by then it didn't make any difference – they were still dead."
At that he turned his eyes to the redhead, catching her off guard with the emotion lighting up his gaze.
"That's why I said you didn't do anything wrong today. I should have come to help you, but I froze... it was like watching myself and my own rage, back then. The only difference is that you were able to save your comrade, because you didn't hesitate."
"And you didn't know..." she replied softly, nearly cutting him off. "There was no way you could have known. It was an impossible situation and it wasn't fair to any of you. I'm sure they wouldn't blame you either."
When he failed to respond Natalie looked up again, only to find him staring at her with a stricken expression that was almost unsettling.
'Why...? Is this... what I wanted to hear all along?' he pondered. 'Was Erwin... wrong in this?'
He had listened to the man's advice of not letting his emotions get in the way, and as a result he could feel that wound festering in his heart to this day. And yet now, with just a few simple words, the ache was somewhat dulled. Was that what he had hoped for all this time? For someone to come along and tell him that it wasn't his fault?
"I apologize... it wasn't my place to..." she eventually replied in the face of his deathly silence, shrinking back into her blanket.
Her voice died in a soft gasp when he reached out, and for a moment she had the wild thought that he was going to smack her. But his hand once again came to rest atop her head as his expression returned to its usual range, only a spark of feeling still twinkling in his eyes. It wasn't even a conscious thought in his mind yet, but he instinctively knew she had some part to play in his future, for better or worse. Maybe it had been fate for them to be reunited after so many years... maybe life was trying to tell him something. If he'd had any doubts before, now it was clear as day to him: he would make sure to protect that tiny, reckless, red haired ball of emotions.