I'm updating a day early this week because this weekend is Easter Sunday for us Orthodox Christians, which means I'll be probably far too busy tomorrow. So since I don't want to risk forgetting to put up the new chapter, you darlings get to read this one day early! Also, Happy (early) Easter to anyone else who celebrates it this weekend~ :D
Alright, so as always my lovelies, go ahead and enjoy this chapter and don't forget to toss me a little review, to let me know what you think~ ;)
P.S. All Attack on Titan characters belong to Isayama Hajime. I only own my OCs.
9. Someone to keep
~ 850 ~
Of course, the Commander hadn't been pleased to hear Levi's report that evening at the barracks and had promised that he would get an audience with Zackley to discuss the issue. But, like Levi himself, he had assured Natalie that he would do all in his power to keep her on her team. It was just as well that the following morning Levi's squad was to move out of Mitras, headed for the old castle HQ. Erwin had concluded that was the best place to keep Eren out of sight and away from the Military Police.
And so for the past two days Natalie had been busy along with the rest of the team, working on cleaning the dusty building as per Levi's orders. It was still another few days before Hange and their squad would arrive, as the researcher was eager to get started with experimenting on Eren's abilities. But that evening after dinner Natalie – on her way to see Levi in his office – had run into a very depressed looking Eren on the stairs. Gritting her teeth to stuff down the fear that again tried to overtake her, she changed course and headed for him.
Her other self had confirmed that he was the one who had tried killing her before and that perhaps her own fear was spilling into the present. But Natalie had reached the conclusion that to change anything, she needed to get to know Eren. He didn't seem like an evil person, and now that she knew the fear she felt wasn't truly hers, she could make a conscious effort to set it aside.
"Hey..." she called out softly, startling the boy. "Are you alright?"
"Y-yes!" he replied as tense as ever, blinking in confusion when she sat down at his side.
"Are you sure? You've been through a lot recently... talk to me. Bottling things up won't do you any good."
"I... don't know." he finally admitted, his tone softening back to its usual range. "There's so much I don't know and... I'm afraid I'll lose control again, like I did in Trost. And then Captain Levi might end up killing me. And what if I get anyone injured in the process? And—"
His tirade died in a surprised gasp when Natalie reached over to squeeze his hand.
"Alright, first just breathe." she said, staring him down until he took a few deep breaths. "Better? Now... you won't lose control, so long as you stay focused on staying in control."
"Huh? What..." he asked, clearly confused as to what she meant with that.
Taking a moment to contemplate how she could word her advice without giving herself away, while also making it sound plausible, she took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the window across the hallway from them.
"Well, let's put it this way. What do you think about when you turn? So far, according to the reports, you've only done it twice after the initial transformation... right?"
"Y-yeah... the first time, we were about to be blown away by a cannon. I didn't even think about it consciously; all I knew was that I needed to somehow protect Mikasa and Armin. It was all I could think about – stop the shell, keep them alive. The second time, I knew I needed to lift the boulder and seal the gate... no matter what, I had to do it or everyone would have died for nothing. Then, I just bit into my hand to draw blood and... it happened."
Raising his right hand and miming the biting gesture, he then went on while Natalie listened intently.
"The first time everything was alright... it was only the second time that I lost control. I only found out in the courtroom that I tried to kill Mikasa. It was like... I was in some dream that I couldn't wake up from. I think it was Armin who got me back to my senses, and that's when I regained control of my body."
"It wasn't your body, though... was it?"
At her words his eyes widened in revelation, and the redhead continued when he turned his stare on her.
"I've been killing Titans for a few years now... and I've seen Hange-san doing experiments on the ones we captured. But we never found any human body in a Titan's nape, like it happens with yours. So that means you're not actually turning into a Titan... it's something else. From what I saw when the Captain and I arrived in Trost, it looked more like a body that you made for yourself. Think of it like... a puppet that you control; that's what it looked like. So it's not you yourself that's changing forms, the Titan body just grows around you – maybe out of the blood you spill through the wound you make. Of course, this is just me theorizing so don't take it as the absolute truth."
"That... makes sense, I guess. Back when I made that incomplete body to stop the cannon shell, I was conscious when I tried getting out of it. It did look like it was stuck to my arm... like it had grown from my hand."
"Mhmm..." she hummed in agreement. "Now, you said you were focused on very clear goals both times when you transformed, right?"
"Yes."
"Then... what if you made it your goal to stay in control? Or at least make it one of your goals, whenever you transform. I'll give you an example. Say, Hange-san will have you transform to measure what height class the Titan body fits in. Normally, you'd say that your goal then would be just to transform, correct?"
"Right... so you're saying... I should make it a goal to transform and stay in control of the Titan?"
"Exactly. Just like you were focused on saving your friends, or saving Trost by sealing the breach in the gate, you can focus on staying conscious and in control while you're transforming. If you feel too nervous about it, try taking a deep breath and counting to ten before you do it; try clearing your mind of any other thoughts aside from your goals."
For a short while Eren went silent, mulling over the information, before he finally cracked a smile.
"You know... I never realized this, but you're really smart huh?"
"Huh? What kind of backhanded compliment is that, you little brat?" the redhead complained, pinching his cheek and making him yelp in pain. "Is that how you speak to your seniors?"
"S-Senior...?" he blinked, looking her over like he was seeing her for the first time all over again.
"Now look here... I'm not some fresh graduate like you, you know." she pouted.
"I see... I'm sorry."
Shaking her head with an amused huff she spoke again after giving him a few moments to nurse his reddened cheek.
"Also... stop fretting about the Captain; he won't kill you. If anything, he'll do everything he can to avoid that. Contrary to how he appears, he actually values life more than anything."
Standing, she reached down to tousle his hair with a light smile.
"So stop worrying about that and just focus, okay? Also... don't forget that, even with these powers you have, you didn't just suddenly become something else. You're still you."
She could see every last bit of her own fears and concerns in him, even those related to Levi, and she had to admit it made her want to help him. Perhaps Levi's words of wisdom, which had served as her lifeline whenever her thoughts spiraled out of control, would help him as well. And she saw the realization in the subtle changes of his expression, in the way the fear melted from his eyes. But when she went to pull her hand back, it startled her that he reached out to grab it.
"I... never thanked you."
"Eh? For what?"
"Commander Erwin... said at the trial that you came up with the plan to use my powers to retake Wall Maria. I don't know how much that weighed on the court's decision, but... thank you. For not thinking I was just a... monster..."
'Damn it, Erwin... you couldn't just say it was your plan, huh?' she huffed, her voice nearly cracking when she spoke next. "Like I said... you're still you."
How could she consider him a monster, when he had done nothing to warrant that? In some ways she felt grateful that her other self had yet to reveal all her memories. Having her first impression of Eren tainted by that, would have made it almost impossible for her to sympathize with him. But now she could see that he was just as scared and confused about his powers, about how everyone else saw him, as she was.
"Have more faith in yourself." she said again, taking her hand back at last and patting his cheek. "You're humanity's best hope to survive the Titans. We need you..."
~ oOo ~
A full two weeks into their stay at the castle and Natalie was growing increasingly worried. The experiments so far had been a resounding success, thanks to Eren following her advice and managing to stay in control of his transformations, keeping Hange's excitement at an all-time high. And yet Levi didn't seem to be doing too well, if his more sluggish demeanor was anything to go by. Eld and the others had assured her that he sometimes had those bouts of aggravated insomnia and that he would be fine in a few days.
'Damn it... everyone just treats it like it's no big deal, that he's not sleeping for days on end.' she mused that evening, watching Ran as he munched on fresh hay. 'Something has to be causing it. Maybe... I should just go talk to him. At this rate he'll end up getting injured or worse.'
On that thought she headed back to the castle and straight up to Levi's office, determined to get to the bottom of it. Her knock received no answer, and yet she could've sworn he had said he'd be in there doing some paperwork that night.
"Captain...?" she called out softly, cracking the door open and poking her head inside.
The sight of him having fallen asleep on his desk, surrounded by papers and files, was both adorable and heartbreaking. How did no one seem to realize or care about how much work he was doing on his own? Why was no one offering to help him? On that thought she stepped into the office and closed the door behind her, tiptoeing over to the couch where he'd thrown his cape haphazardly. Picking it up she stepped over to carefully place it over him. Normally she would have woken him up and asked him to go to bed, but with how little sleep he'd gotten those days she didn't have the heart to disturb him.
"I hope you have nice dreams..." she whispered, only realizing what she was doing when the back of her fingers brushed the hair out of his eyes.
Almost all at once her face turned red and her heart started beating at an insane pace. That was such a bad situation to be caught in. What if someone else walked into his office? Or what if he woke up to find her harassing him in his sleep?
'But... is it really a bad thing?' she pondered, already leaning over him without even noticing. 'It's not like I'm doing anything bad... right?'
It was just an innocent kiss, she kept telling herself. A little reward for all the times he had helped her, all the times he had been her strength and set her straight. Her lips had nearly touched his temple when the pain blinded her for a moment, and she barely even felt her body hitting the floor.
"What the—?" she heard him speaking. "Natalie? What are you doing?"
"I apologize, Captain... I saw you'd fallen asleep and thought you might get cold."
In the same moment when she realized that the way she had worded it sounded really bad, she looked up to find him rubbing the side of his head and watching her with a measure of confusion. Apparently he had woken up and straightened in his seat, head butting her in the process.
"...You're bleeding." he stated, standing from the desk and kneeling next to her. "How the fuck did I hit you that hard?"
Taking out a handkerchief from his jacket he wiped the blood from her upper lip, instructing her to keep it pressed to her left nostril. Picking her up, he then laid her down on the couch and sighed after kneeling to check if he'd accidentally broken her nose.
"So what were you trying to do?"
"I... nothing weird, I promise." she replied with a nervous smile, her face heating up even more as she felt his fingers trailing along the contour of her nose. "I was actually here to talk to you about your insomnia. And to ask if you needed any help with paperwork. No one should have to do this much alone... I saw your cape on the couch, so I thought you could use it as a blanket. I just didn't have the heart to wake you."
"Is that so?" he retorted with a hint of amusement in his tone. "True, you need to get really close to be able to cover someone's back."
"I said I wasn't doing anything weird, Captain..." she complained, trying to cover her face with her hands only to freeze when he grasped her wrists to hold them in place.
"I know..." he whispered, his breath warming her forehead just before he pressed a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose where he could see a bruise forming, his lips lingering on her skin just a moment longer than they should have.
She probably expected him to be upset, but how could he when she was so stupidly kind? When seeing her only served to remind him that he was starting to hate not having her around?
"Fine... if you're so worried about me that you can't contain yourself, you can stay here." he said, getting back to his feet and returning to the desk. "As long as you make yourself useful by organizing some documents, when you can sit up again; I don't have time to play right now..."
For a few minutes Natalie watched him as he resumed tending to the paperwork, feeling quite miserable as she waited for her unexpected injury to heal. Not only did she feel bad for waking him, it was so obvious just how tired he was simply from the way his eyes had sunk in, outlined by those horribly dark circles.
"Captain..." she eventually called out, blanking for a moment on how to speak her mind without upsetting him.
"What is it?" he asked when she failed to continue, turning his tired gaze to her.
"I... know I don't say this nearly enough. And sometimes I feel like maybe you just forget about it. Because the thought that you don't want to talk to me is something I don't really want to consider. But... I'll listen if you want to get anything off your chest."
At that, feeling that her injury was healed by now, she carefully got up to sit properly on the couch. For a heartbeat they silently stared each other down, until Levi heaved a sigh and set down the papers he had been reading over.
"You want to help me sleep, is that it?"
"Is there a way for me to do that? I'll do it..."
The way her expression changed to that eagerness she always displayed around him, was the final straw. Yes, he hadn't asked for her help nearly as many times as he had contemplated it, even if she always offered. Maybe sometimes it wasn't a bad thing to just accept it. Standing on that thought, he walked back to the couch gesturing for one end of the furniture.
"Move over..."
Though puzzled as to what he wanted, Natalie obeyed and was left to jolt in surprise when he wordlessly laid down, his head weighing on her lap.
"Let's see if this will do it..." he said, closing his eyes with a soft breath.
"C-Cap—" she stammered, her cheeks yet again coloring to match her hair.
"You said you wanted to help, didn't you? I haven't slept in three days... you're not about to tell me you weren't serious, right? Because this is comfortable enough that I think I might finally fall asleep."
Three days; it was insane to her how he could still function at all, much less handle his duties after going so long without any rest. Well, maybe they could discuss the root of his trouble later. Right now it was more important to let him sleep.
"Then... please have a good rest, Captain." she whispered.
The moment she felt her fingers sifting through his hair, she panicked at how little control she had over herself. But then Levi sighed softly with a content hum that made her blush.
"That feels... nice..." he murmured, sounding drowsy much to her relief. "Don't stop..."
Unable to hold back a bittersweet smile, she resumed the tender motion through his raven strands. It didn't matter how long she had to sit there, if she could be of help to him. It didn't matter that just being there with him felt like someone was peeling bits of her heart off. It didn't matter that her mind wanted to fly away to a world where that... that was real; where he was serious about it, where he did it for more than just a last-ditch effort to fall asleep.
'It doesn't matter... this is enough.' she reminded herself. 'As long as I'm of some use to him, it's enough.'
~ oOo ~
It was well into the night when Levi stirred from what was, for a change, a fairly deep sleep. He didn't recall going to bed, and yet it seemed he had – if the soft pillow beneath his head was anything to go by. Only when his vision fully cleared after he rubbed his eyes as he sat up, did he notice Natalie and remembered exactly how much of an asshole he had been, playing on her feelings like that. She too had fallen asleep with her head leaning against the backrest; but otherwise she hadn't moved an inch. He imagined she had to be stiff after who knew how many hours of sitting still like that.
Nevertheless, he just had to be selfish again; he just had to take a moment longer to watch her, to reach out and brush her bangs aside, to ghost his fingers down her cheek.
"Thank you..." he whispered.
He had to admit, after three days of no sleep he felt rather fantastic now that he'd gotten some rest. On that note he stood, stretching his spine before turning back to the sleeping redhead. The normal thing to do would have been to wake her up and send her to her room. But she looked so small and vulnerable that he couldn't help wanting to watch over her. Was that weird? The normal thing to do would have been to wake her...
'Sometimes I wonder... is there anything normal about us?' he pondered, just as he was reaching to hook an arm beneath her knees.
Carefully leaning her shoulder against him, he slowly turned her around to lie her down again. With his right arm wrapped around her neck to support her head, he was holding her so close that he could feel her soft breaths against his cheek like so many feathers.
"Wh—?" she mumbled, eventually stirred from her sleep by the motions.
When he turned his head he finally noticed he was maybe too close, when his nose bumped against hers startling both of them.
"It's alright, just sleep you stubborn brat..." he said with a measure of fondness, setting her on her back and leaning down to kiss her forehead.
Walking to his desk he grabbed his cape from the chair and covered her with it, taking one more moment to bury his fingers in her hair and caress her forehead with his thumb. Ultimately he went back to his paperwork, trying to ignore how distracting it was just knowing she was there. How it drew his gaze over to her, again and again. How he once even caught himself smiling as he watched her sleep.
In the end he had to give up on work, with a half-annoyed half-amused sigh. Maybe he hated not having her around, but with her there he would never get any work done anymore. Or perhaps it was simply the fact that he enjoyed watching her sleep, as he mused while getting up and walking over to the couch. There was something so oddly satisfying in how carefree and innocent she looked, especially when he knew all the emotional burdens she had carried; some of them still plaguing her to that day.
Eventually he took a seat on the floor next to the couch, reaching out again to brush the bangs out of her face. When he trailed his thumb across her forehead, she moved in her sleep nestling her head into his palm like a kitten seeking affection.
'Idiot...' he mused fondly, debating for a moment before he decided to not remove his hand.
He hadn't done something like that since the last time Isabel had been sick, when he and Furlan had taken turns watching over her. Maybe that was why it didn't feel creepy or wrong. However, she wasn't Isabel... she wasn't Furlan... and he had recently done his best to stop seeing her as a replacement for them. To see her as herself and test whether his desire to protect her was real, or just him clinging to the past. And once he had started thinking about that it was kind of scary, really, to realize just how many roles she had taken in his mind over the few years he had known her.
She was the ghost of his dead friends and his chance of atonement. She was his unexpected confidant and the hand that had reached to him to pull him out of the dark; to help him move on. She was his subordinate and his teammate. She was his most guarded secret and sometimes the only thing to ease his daily strain of anxiety and stress. She was always there, always eager to help, always supportive, always kind...
But most importantly she was herself; and she was someone he wanted to keep in his life, whatever form their connection took in the future.
~ oOo ~
"So how is Hange-san doing?"
Looking up from the report he was writing after their latest patrol, Levi took a moment to measure the short redhead from head to toe. Lately he'd taken up that habit every time he looked at her, without even realizing it. She was sitting cross-legged on the couch in his office that morning, separating a stack of reports into different files. And he all of a sudden realized it kind of... irked him that she wasn't looking at him, too focused on her task as she waited for his reply.
"About as well as you can expect..." he finally answered, having to make a conscious effort to turn back to his work. "But experimenting on Eren is going to get them back on their feet soon enough."
"You think so? I hope it does, because they didn't seem to take that very well. They really cared about those Titans."
"Tch... this is why I keep telling Erwin that Hange's insane. Moblit said they nearly got eaten at least a dozen times during those experiments."
"At least Eren doesn't try to eat them."
"Maybe if he was older, he would..."
For a moment he no longer heard the shuffling of papers coming from where Natalie was sitting, before her chuckle reached his ears making him smile almost involuntarily.
"Captain..." she scolded him, sounding completely unconvincing when she could barely hold in her laughter. "Please try to refrain from making jokes like that in front of the kids. Oh, speaking of... I heard the new recruits are coming in today, right?"
"Yeah. That Armin kid you mentioned... he's going be among them."
"Are you sure?" she perked up.
"Yes. Erwin gave me a name list this morning; he and that girl, Mikasa, were both on there. Why is he so important, though? You never told me..."
"I don't know; I only know that he is. I just... feel it."
His skeptical side-eye didn't go unnoticed and she sighed in resignation while he returned to the report.
"I promise I'm not trying to keep any secrets anymore, Captain!" she complained. "I really don't know why he's important... my other self hasn't come to see me recently and I don't know how to get in touch with her, or I'd ask."
"She's pretty useless, isn't she?"
"D-don't say that... we're still... kind of the same person..."
"Yes, yes... I apologize..."
"Now you're just being mean." the redhead pouted at his insincere apology, only speaking again after a lengthy silence. "Say, Captain... am I really usele—?"
"Only if you finish that question." Levi cut her off. "If I really believed that, you wouldn't be on my squad still. Now stop thinking of nonsense and go meet the recruits. I want to hear your opinion on this Armin brat that you fancy so much."
"...Why would my personal opinion matter in any official capacity?"
"I'll admit I should have noticed from the start that you weren't like the usual dumbasses in the military, same as Karl. I'm sure that's what Erwin saw in you when he chose you for the Survey Corps. You did well with reading Eren... I want to know what you think of Armin."
"I understand. Also... I don't think I could ever fancy him. He's way too young for me."
"Hmm? I didn't know you were into old men." Levi hummed.
"For your information, I don't consider you an old man." she retorted after sticking her tongue out at his remark, for a moment forgetting that they were in an official decorum.
"The next time you stick that tongue out, you'd better be prepared for the consequences."
When she failed to continue their banter, he once again shot her a side glance to find her blushing, and he knew she had discerned the underlying implication his tone conveyed. Well... that marked four times he'd made her flush that day; and there were still plenty of hours left.
'Maybe I should try going for a record one of these days.' he pondered, not without a measure of enjoyment.
"Well, I'll... go see if the recruits arrived, then." Natalie cleared her throat, all of a sudden feeling a bit too warm for comfort in his office. "I'll come back after that and finish with these files. And... give you my opinion. Unless you'd like a proper, written report."
"A verbal one will do... just don't take forever."
'I swear... does he get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of making me blush?' she huffed, now walking the hallways towards the main building.
Eventually stopping, however, she heaved a sigh and covered her still burning cheeks upon recalling one of her last statements before she had left the office.
'Oh, no... did—did I just tell him that I fancy him?'
She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't do that; that her indirect confession had been mortifying enough for her – and likely uncomfortable enough for Levi. With another sigh she went on, cursing her inability to keep a tighter restraint on herself. To her great relief, upon entering the main hall she found Eren amidst a group of kids she didn't recognize.
"...to kill Mikasa. What's that all about?" one of the boys inquired of him, causing Natalie to halt as she arrived within earshot of them.
"You're wrong, Jean." the brunette retorted. "Eren was trying to kill a fly—"
"I wasn't asking you. That wound on your cheek looks pretty deep, Mikasa. When did you get that?"
"...It seems it's true." Eren at last replied. "When I turned into a Titan, I tried to kill Mikasa."
"So you don't even remember it, huh? In other words, you weren't aware you had this power until now, and you can't even control it."
"Yeah... but I'm working on it..."
"You hear that, guys?" Jean sighed, turning to their classmates. "That's the situation we're in. Our lives and the rest of humanity are in his hands. We'll probably die just like Marco, without Eren even knowing..."
"Why are you driving Eren into a corner like this?" Mikasa scowled.
"You know... not everyone can blindly die for Eren like you, without expecting anything in return. We have the right to know what we're risking our lives for, otherwise we'll waver when the time comes. We're expecting something out of Eren; we just want to know what to expect and if it's worth risking our lives for."
"You sure talk a lot, don't you?" the redhead finally intervened, her voice drawing all eyes to her. "I hope you have at least half the amount of courage, as you have words."
"Did he say anything wrong, though?" Reiner commented.
"No... however, if you're not ready to die for your comrades, why did you join the Survey Corps? Why not the Military Police, where it's safe?"
"Are you telling me you're really ready to die for anyone?" Jean retorted.
"Yeah." she replied, leaving a deathly silence to linger over them until she spoke again gesturing to the cadets. "For my teammates, for my Captain, for Eren, for any of these guys... even for you, scaredy-cat. Out there, when you have to make life-and-death choices in a heartbeat, when your comrades are one second away from being eaten, you won't have time to contemplate any of this bullshit you're spewing right now. Yes, Eren doesn't yet have full control of his powers... and what did you do to help him with that? He already knows how many people depend on him and his ability to use this power. Piling more stress and pressure onto him isn't the answer. It won't help him, it won't help you, and it won't help any of your friends. Shouldn't you try to encourage him a bit, instead? Help him now, so he can help you all later..."
"What do you know?" the boy scowled. "You... you weren't there... you didn't see all the blood... all the halt-eaten bodies. Most of them were people I trained with, people I ate with, people I dreamt of the future with."
"And you think dying – whether it's for Eren or not – is how you'll repay their sacrifice. Is that it?"
She knew, of course, the hell they had gone through given Eren's detailed description. But clearly they weren't getting her point unless she spelled it out.
"Wanting to die for something bigger than yourself is an admirable cause... but if you die, you won't amount to anything. If you die, all the help you could give to anyone dies with you. If you want to help your friends, or to help humanity, don't die for them... live for them."
Even after all those years she could still hear Levi clear as day, imparting his painfully earned wisdom to her; unaware that the man himself was silently watching them from across the hall. He had gotten tired of waiting on her and decided to see what was holding up the redhead, only to arrive in the middle of her earlier little speech.
"You asked if I was ready to die for anyone and I said 'yes'. But that's only because I know I won't die. Because I'll do whatever it takes to survive! And I'll do whatever it takes to keep as many people alive, as I can, without dying. I'm ready to do that, even though I know I won't be able to save everyone. Yes, I am ready to die for you or for anyone else in the Survey Corps... because I won't die. I'll keep living and I'll keep fighting."
"T-That's right!" Armin at last gathered the courage to chime in. "All this morbid thinking about how we're going to die isn't helping any of us. Instead, we should focus on how to survive and make this expedition a success!"
"U-um..." Krista finally raised a timid hand in the somewhat lighter silence which had blanketed the hall. "Excuse me, but... who—?"
"Natalie-san is part of Captain Levi's squad." Eren interjected, looking relieved that the redhead had broken the tension in the room. "She's been trying to help me figure out how to control my powers."
"You're lying..." Jean retorted, approaching Natalie until he was towering over her and plopping a hand onto her head as if she was a child. "There's no way she's anything other than a fresh recruit."
"Hey, cut it out!" Eren frowned, pushing Jean out of the redhead's face when she clenched her jaw with a half-shocked, half-irate stare. "What'll you do if Captain Levi sees you?"
"Actually, we did see her with that shorty's team at the gate." Mikasa argued.
"Don't take him seriously..." Armin smiled nervously, blinking confusedly when Natalie approached him while ignoring Eren and Jean arguing in the background. 'T-Tiny...'
He was used to being one of the shortest people in his group, so it was surprising to meet someone even shorter than him.
"Oh, speaking of... we never got to thank you and Captain Levi properly for saving us back there." he said again.
"Don't worry about that." Natalie replied, measuring him intently from head to toe until he nearly squirmed under her stare. "I've read your report files from your training. What are you doing here?"
"I... don't understand." he shook his head, confused by the way her expression softened as she posed the question to him.
"Why the Survey Corps?"
"Oh... I'm aware my physical abilities are far inferior to Eren or Mikasa. But uhh..."
His nervous chuckle and then the way his expression melted into such a soft smile, led Natalie to believe that what she was about to hear would be spoken from his heart.
"I may not be as brave as Eren or as strong as Mikasa... but I've always dreamed of one day leaving these walls. Of seeing the outside world that my parents tried to see, before they died."
His words, so very honest and simple, struck her deeply and for a moment she lost control of her calm expression. It was like looking into a mirror that reminded her why she had always wanted to become a Scout, even if she wasn't the strongest or the fastest among her peers.
"Did I say something wrong?" he gasped at seeing the tears twinkling at the corners of her eyes.
"No..." the redhead smiled lightly, shaking her head. "Just make sure you don't die."
She had just turned to leave when she froze in her tracks, having raised her gaze to see Levi as he leaned against the wall, only moving again when he gestured for her to approach him.
"Well?" he asked, knowing they wouldn't be heard so long as they kept their voices low.
"He's... well suited for the Survey Corps." Natalie replied after a moment of gathering her thoughts, knowing he would understand what she meant. "In fact, he's frighteningly similar to me."
"Mostly brains and no brawn, huh? And I'm guessing a selfish desire to be free..."