Kelly wakes with a stuffy head. "Ah I finished that twelve pack by myself." He gets out of bed and follows the 70's sound of Elvis Presley and "Suspicious Minds." into his kitchen. She's at the island head bobbing to the beat as she makes breakfast.
He stands and watches her because for the first time in days he's smiling for real. Elvis turns into Christian music which turns into Katy Perry.
She looks up finally. "Oh! How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to remember why I love you like I do."
"You mean you forgot?" She cocks her head and eyes him smilingly.
"No, I did however forget momentarily just how lucky I am to even still have you. I'm sorry about last night." He leans over on the counter and kisses her.
"We've already made up twice in fact. It's okay." She bites her bottom lip and smiles at him.
"Any word?"
"Okay so sexual distraction is out." She said and then continued on "I would of woken you up had there been, but no. they're trying to identify the van and they have upped the Amber alert to national level but they haven't found her. I'm sorry babe. Oh, Erin sends her love." She stirs a grayish blue batter in plastic bowl.
"So don't turn on the TV got it. What ya making?" he dips a finger in and the look she gives makes him rethink things. He draws his hand back.
"Blueberry muffins." Her phone rings. "Get that for me will you?
He licks his finger before answering. "Livvy's Phone. You have reached Kelly the boyfriend slash receptionist how may I- what? Are you sure? We're on our way."
"What?" She stares at him.
"Sadie Helton is dying and her mother is asking for you." She knows her body should have developed an emotional failsafe but it hasn't it still shocks her every time.
"How long?" she tries to put steel into her voice.
"Few hours."
There's a silent beat and Kelly reaches over and turns off the stove. The get dressed without any conversation.
Both of them wonder how much more they can take but never verbalize it. Kelly opens the door for them to leave and Benny stands on the other side preparing to knock.
Without missing a beat. "You stay Kell I'll handle it." She starts to roll out the door.
He puts his hand on her shoulder to make her stay pit a second. "How about no Livvy! Dad if you want to talk you are coming with us."
"Have you seen my creds?" She asked distractedly.
He plucked them off her lab coat hanging by the door.
-/-/-/-
"Are you two fighting?" Benny breaks the silence.
"No." Kelly answered as he reached over pulling Liv's thumbnail away from her mouth. "Baby don't you can chew off every nail you got and it won't help or change anything and you just got that fancy manicure."
"Could I have done anything different? Or better?" she asked glancing across the car at him.
"Liv you know the answer to that. You gave the girl an advocate and a friend. A Mom when her's couldn't be present. You monitored every blood cell. Cancer cell, and chemo treatment that child ever had you bent the best oncologist in the state to your will all for one little girl and countless others who will come and go. You tell me baby, did you do enough?" he glances at her as he turns on Tenafly Drive.
"If I did, I don't know… why is this hitting so much harder?"
"Because she's four years old and you put her to bed Monday through Friday, because she told us our first date should be held at McDonald's it's always hard because you care it's harder because you love her and all your other long term kiddos"
She nods and turns on the CD player. Birdy's cover of Terrible Love pours out. "I love this song. Never took you for a Birdy fan Kelly."
"It's Katie's." she goes to turn it off. "No, leave it."
He drops her off at the front entrance and the uses her creds to park the car.
-/-/-/-
"Listen Pop I-"He starts as he locks the car.
"You don't need to explain things. You did what you thought was necessary for the safety of the people in your fire house. This might not even be related to that, what happened to Katie could be altogether different. Let's not jump to any conclusions. I came because it's my daughter that's missing and you two became close. I came to check on you. I seem to have walked in on something but all things considered you seem to be handling it well." He said as they walked to the elevator.
"I'm not. Liv is literally the only thing holding me together." He confesses.
"You really do love her don't you?" Benny said giving a slight smile.
"Why does that surprise you? We're similar not the exact same." Kelly replied becoming offended.
"It's surprising because she couldn't remember you but you stayed."
"She remembers me now."
"How much?" he asked in pure curiosity.
"Enough Dad. She's enough for me." He replied shortly. Fast becoming angry at Benny for his judgments of his character and his girl.
They get on the elevator and take a silent ride then Kelly walks off and Benny finds him in the cafeteria.
"I like her. I didn't mean anything by it. Katie loves her."
"Let's not talk about Katie. I just can't they won't let me go look for her and its driving me nuts so let's just not." He picks up his purchases and walks away again leaving Benny to follow.
-/-/-/-
They find Liv in the midst of a shouting match with another doctor. "You're wrong!"
"Dr. Grayne I understand you get deeply involved with your patients but its unhealthy and pointless that kid is dying and you need to let her."
"Oh sweet Jesus." Kelly muttered and dialed his phone.
"You can tell everybody-"Aloe Blacc's The Man rings out before being cut off.
"What?" She barks.
"Look to your left." He said calmly.
"Oh hi Kell,"
"Hi baby, hang up and come here."
She shook her head no. "She's trying to make me give up." He walked toward her.
"I know. Please come here." He hung up when he'd reached her. He put his arms around her. "It's not your fight anymore Olivia its Sadie's and she's decided to retreat. Respect that. Even though it's hard. Maybe especially because it's hard." He said lowly into her ear.
She steeled herself. "Okay I'm going in."
He kissed the top of her head. "Right behind you." He replies and she rolls off.
"So the girl?" Benny asked.
"Is dying of leukemia and stole my heart in about five seconds flat."
"Kelly!" a man calls from behind.
"Cole Hey how are you?" he greets Liv's Dad.
He walks over and leans on the wall next to Kelly. "I'm fine they're releasing Rain today, how are you? I heard about your sister from Vivi. Liv hasn't left your side or so I hear?"
"Um no she hasn't. Cole this is my Dad Benny, Benny this is Cole Livvy's Dad."
"Pleasure to meet you wish it was under happier circumstances. Is Liv okay? It's her day off." Cole's tone became concerned.
"Oh she's fine she's visiting a patient." Just then Liv's head pops around the door. "You're being summoned she wants to hear how you guys saved 51. Her resps are slowing so… "She said looking at Kelly before noticing Cole. "Oh hey Dad."
"Hey Ollie, you ok?"
"Not really. Stick around I might need a hug later." She said honestly.
=/=/-/=
Liv sits back and watches a moment. "Hi Kelly." Sadie wheezes out she looks at him a long moment and then her eyes flutter closed.
To his credit Kelly doesn't cry. "Hey sweetheart! I hear you want the whole story of how the fire house was saved…"he tells her the story with more flourish than there actually was while stroking her little bald head.
He kisses her forehead at the end of his story. She doesn't wake. "See you in another place and time Miss Sadie." He said softly/
When he passes by Liv he squeezes her shoulder and kisses the top of her head. He walks out without a word but there are tears in his eyes.
Liv takes his place holding her hand. "You don't have to wake up, I know you hear me. We've had lots of talks about fighting this thing haven't we…?"
-/-/-
They all stand out in the hall when a lone piercing beep fills the air. It's cut off and silence hangs around the three men. Breath shudders out of Kelly and his eyes fall closed before his head drops. "Damn it." He walks of to be by himself until he hears a door knob turn and he looks back.
Moments later Liv appears. Her lips quiver with the effort to hold back tears.
Once the door is safely closed and she wheels part way down the hall with Kelly and Cole on her heels she crumbles.
Kelly reaches her first because he was closer. He hugs her from behind. "It's okay baby."
"No, it's not! It's not okay, I need to stop getting so attached." She shakes her and he turns to hug her properly.
"Liv that's what makes you good." He said into her neck.
"Kelly."
"No, look at me! Do you know why I've loved you from them moment I saw you? In that fire on Porter you wouldn't let me rescue you! You demanded that you hand me all sixteen of those children yourself. Still to this day damn near a year later I know every name age and diagnosis. If I saw them on the street I'd know them. That's who you are! Sure you take it too far but you care above all else and that matters babe."
"I sat and held Charlotte's hand as she watched her baby die. I've seen people die, I've seen kids die but not like that."
"Langston's not going to die like that Liv." Cole said from behind knowing exactly where her mind was headed.
She turns. "Yes, he will dad everyone dies alone and all we can do is watch! She thanked me Dad, Sadie's mom thanked me. I couldn't save her and she still thanked me."
"I'd of thanked you too sweetheart." Benny said speaking for the first time. "You made sure her child had a friend as well as a healer. You made sure she wasn't alone when her child passed. You can't always make the save it's what you do with that, that matters. Trust me I've been there."
Liv's eyebrow wings up. "You might be right.
She hugs her Dad. "I just I need a minute. Tell mom I'll be there in time for Rainey's party."
She rolls off and it takes everything in Kelly just to let her be. "The fact that seeing her in pain makes you look so tortured lets me know you love her." Cole said.
"I love my sister too and look where that got us."
-/-/-/-
"Keep Rollin, Rollin, Rollin." Erin's phone blares out in the midst of an interrogation. "I gotta take this."
"I got her for now; tell who I am assuming is Liv hello." Antonio said.
"What's up Livvy Lou?" she said walking out into the hall where she leans on a wall.
"Do you feel like going to the range after work? I lost Sadie Helton today and the only reason Kelly hasn't formed a posse of fire fighters to find Katie is because he's with me and is afraid I'm going to have a mental break down."
Erin can hear Kelly. "Did you mean a gun range I'm not comfortable with that!"
"I'm certified and I have a conceal and carry." She tells him.
"Tell him he drinks we shoot shit. I'll be there."
"I love you."
"Love you most Liv Lou."
"Bye."
"Lindsay out!" she can hear Liv's snicker before she hangs up.
-/-/-/-
"You own a gun?" Kelly asks.
"I own four. What I'm single and live alone it's smart."
"Isn't four overkill?"
"Nope. I gotta go fill out a death certificate so if you wanna check in at the house or the station about Katie I'll hitch a ride with Dad. I need to go to James Avery to pick up Rain's gift anyway."
"Baby I-"she kisses him and starts to roll off. "Hold on there Red." He catches her arm and turns her toward him.
"Kelly, I had my minute we can't change it and we need to find Katie I'm fine."
He sighs tiredly. "I- okay baby, call if you need me."
"Same goes." She kisses him. "I love you."
"I know that." He brushed her hair behind her ear. "I love you too."
-/-/-/-
"The patriarchy, childhood cancer, or last Christmases food poisioningErin asked as Liv loaded her Smith &Wesson 9mm.
"Childhood cancer." She said as Erin tapped up their made up targets.
"I wanna try shootin' standing can you stand behind the chair in case the recoil is different with my center of gravity being vertical." Erin steps from her shooting cubicle to Liv's and stands beside her.
"Okay?" she puts on her ear protectors.
"Okay." Liv lets off three shoots hitting the target dead cemter. The protectors slide down around her neck.
"There's my girl. What's up? We usually get pedicures we haven't done this in a while." Erin asked standing with her arms crossed
"What happens if we don't find Katie Erin? What if I run outta ways to keep him distracted? What if the only thing he sees when he looks at me is that he protected the wrong person? What if he stops loving me?" she lets off another shot and Erin doesn't even flinch.
"That's a fuckload of ifs Babe." Erin answers.
"If he stops loving you? He didn't love you in the first place. I'd know because I do love you." She continues and smiles at Liv.
Liv clicks the safety on and puts her gun down. "Ok that was maudlin; I do the mush not you what the fucks with you?"
Erin answers staring at her booted feet. "Fucking junkie, I sobered her up and gave her the choice to get high or get clean and…"
"You tried to be her Hank and she didn't bite. It takes more guts to change than it does to lay down in the mire of life."
"I still did things I'm not proud of." Their hands swing between them.
"And who hasn't Erin but look at us we're still friends, that says something!"
"What that Ignatuis didn't kill us." Their hands drop and Liv hands Erin her gun.
"Well partially but more than that, we lasted. The pariah and the cripple we're still ride or die. Wheelchair pun intended."
"Always will be Livvy, ready to shoot shit? I think that should target should be Steph Clements. Oh wait we're grown and over our shit."
"Speaking of being grown up, how's working with Voight?"
"He's being an over protective cock block." She let off another shot and handed it back to Liv.
"Twat squatter you mean." Liv laughed. "So you are into Halsted?" Liv smiled slyly. "I saw that shit a mile away. Mama likes em' innocent before devouring them body and soul." She said laughing and raised the gun.
"Fuck you."
"Wrong Grayne, Check with Viv." She obliterated the target.
"Or Owen." Erin said guiltily.
Her head whips around. "Seriously you and O, you still go at it?"
"Lower the firearm first. Not for a while."
"How long's awhile? "She put the gun down and put her hands on her hips.
"Year maybe."
"He's married E." She said trying not to be disappointed in them both.
"Still doesn't change that he's got my number and likes to exploit it when he hits the skids with Mrs. Grayne."
"You're both adults do what you want but just be careful there's a reason it didn't work the first time. Now you wanna bust a cap in the patriarchy or should I?" She points to Erin's target of choice.
"For the record I hope Severide's not too much like me." She said softly.
She shrugged. "We might be together for fifty years but he's like you people screwed him over and he doesn't trust when people tell him the truth. Benny's charming but he's a shirker who only loved the fire fight."
"So you are saying there are no picket fences?"
"Not if my life depended on it. He asks me to marry him I'm checking for the Punk'd crew before answering." She grinned
"Let's shoot shit and then go to the party." Erin said unholstering her own cop issue gun.
"Just don't fuck O on top of the cake okay?" She teased.
"Livvy's got jokes tonight."
-/-/-
The longer Katie's missing the more Kelly's sure life is too short for childish fears. He walks into the Grayne's noisy household looking for someone in particular. "Liv's upstairs sweetheart I made her go shower she smelled like gun powder." Mara said while icing a tray of cookies.
He stood there. "Well go on up. Ollie was raised by a former hippie and a scholar. You can go upstairs."
-/-/-/-/-
She sits in the tub struggling to wash her hair. Her parents had gotten rid of the sprayer and shower seat because Grady liked to power wash the bathroom.
"Can I help Babe?" he said and she jumped.
"Kelly! What are you doing here? I figured you'd be with Benny." She watches him walk over and kneel next to the tub.
"He wanted to go by 51 and Molly's I wanted to be with you. Lay back baby. Jesus this water's cold." He warms up the water and threads his hands through her hair while washing it.
"We should have done this sooner I like it." He said giving her a grin.
"You're weird but I feels nice so do continue." She retorted.
"Why do you shoot guns?" he asked softly.
"Erin's not into retail therapy, our history's complex its away to stay connected and it keeps me safe."
"You have a point."
"Why does it bother you?" She cracks open an eye.
"I want to protect you."
"That's very sweet Kell but you can't be everywhere." She said knowingly
It's quiet awhile. "Are you okay Kelly?"
"Yep why?"
"I'm naked, wet, and you have your hands on me and have yet to make a dirty remark. Did you hit your head?" She joked.
"It's been difficult but I'm managing. I have a healthy fear of the men in your family also."
"I know how I'd feel if it was Katie." He adds
"You're a good brother despite whatever you think right now. She looks at you like I look at Owen. Like you hung the moon." He doesn't reply to that. He doesn't know how.
He helps her from the tub and sits her in her chair. "Yo Liv Lou." Erin shouts through the door.
""Yo! Erin Autumn, bring me some clothes steal from Rainey!" She shouts back.
"Mama Mara actually made you wash off all things fire arm?"
"Reformed hippie! Kelly, I get it I have a killer bod but I'm freezing so towel please?"
"He's in there! You dirty, dirty, whore." She tries the door but it's locked tight.
"I'm a clean whore thank you!" She retorts and a laugh bubbles up out of Kelly.
-/-/-/-
After the surprises and gifts everyone's milling about. She can't find Kelly and goes in search of him when Liam pulls her into a picture. He kisses her cheek "You're drunk William Zane." She said while her sister senses tingled.
"I'm feeling festive."
"You're feeling sauced." She pats him and kisses his cheek before moving her chair to sit again.
-/-
Kelly finds Cole and pulls him aside. "Listen Cole, I have something I need to ask of you."
"Okay." Cole replied warily.
"I'd like your blessing to marry Livvy."
"You said not three months ago you weren't the marrying type." The older man's brows knit in suspicion.
"That was before my sister's disappearance. Life's short and nothing's guaranteed you'd think my job would have taught me that but I just got used to it and took it for granted and I don't want to do that here. I love Olivia and I'm not saying we'll get married tomorrow or even next year but I want to marry her and something tells me your approval means a lot to her, and to me because I do respect your opinion." He said his chest becoming tight in fear of "No."
"Look I'm not dumb enough to think you won't ever fight or hurt each other but I do want your promise you'll never break her heart because she's had more than her fair share of it."
"I-"
"I'm not finished, take care of her. I'm not saying do every little thing for her because Liv's more than capable but listen to her and keep her from running herself into the ground. Help her when she's too prideful to ask for it because it's when she'll need it most. Promise me?"
"Yes sir I promise."
"Alright, you may ask though I have no bearing on her answer." He shook Kelly's hand.
-/-/-/-
A few minutes later as Kelly is talking to Owen about doing construction on the side. He feels arms wrap around his waist so he sits down in her lap. "Hi!"
"Hi you're really heavy." She grunts trying to push him off.
"So I can carry you places and let you sit on me but when I need a chair?"
"Turnabout is not fair play Douchey McFireballs. Get off me." He laughed and twisted to kiss her before standing.
He held her hand in his.
"That McFireballs thing's is gonna stick." Owen teased.
Kelly groaned.
"Could be worse you could be Dr. Gummi B. Squirts." Owen grins slyly.
Olivia laughs a weird little cackle you only hear when something is truly and unexpectedly funny. "You're so wrong, O! That's just mean. Very funny but oh so mean."
"Made you laugh though." Kelly said.
"Yeah O's good at that. Anyway why'd you look like you were swallowing bleach while talking to my Dad?"
"Uh, he asked about Katie its fine though."
"You sure?"
"Positive. It's nice to see you smiling Livvy. I love you." He kissed her.
"I love you too, we're gonna be okay Kell I can feel it." She kissed him again.
"Sickening, lovey dovey shit." Owen griped.
"Married sexless old fart." Liv retorted and Kelly laughed hoping he had just one more chance to pick on Katie.
-/-/-
This chapter has been redited. I own nothing but my characters.