Miss Peregrine told the other children that Abe was leaving for the army during dinner that very evening, during supper. They were all saddened by the news, of course, but Emma could tell that none of them were as deeply cut by it as she was. Claire cried, and Fiona sniffled, and Olive dabbed at her eyes, while Abe just stared down at his plate, looking guilty and conflicted. He barely touched his food, which gave Emma some spiteful sense of satisfaction.
At some point, while the younger boys were all peppering Abe with questions about the army, Emma looked across the table at Enoch, and to her surprise, his dark eyes met her blue ones and held them for a moment. Enoch hadn't said a word when Miss Peregrine told them Abe's news, but Emma felt like she recognized the sad look in his eyes. It was as if he would miss Abe almost as much as she would... and when Emma thought it, it didn't seem so unlikely. Enoch had never been outright mean to Abe, exactly — because of course Miss Peregrine wouldn't allow that — but he had never been friendly to him, either. But then Victor had died, and now Abe was leaving them, and there would be no more boys anywhere close to Enoch's age in Miss Peregrine's house. Emma supposed that he would be lonely now, too.
Abe helped clear the table and wash the dishes, but he didn't join them for movie time in the parlor after dinner. He went upstairs to his room on the top floor, and after hesitating for a moment, Emma followed him. Abe used to share his room with Victor, but ever since that horrible day when Victor was killed, it had been his alone. Now that Abe was leaving for the army, Emma supposed, the room would be completely empty.
Abe was sitting on the rug on the floor his room, packing a few things into a knapsack. The sight made Emma freeze in the open doorway, and for several minutes, she could only stand there, watching him. Her throat closed up with sorrow, for seeing Abe pack only made it realer that he actually was leaving them — and leaving soon. But Emma swallowed hard, forcing her sadness down, and tried to make herself feel spiteful instead. So what if Abe was leaving? Let him leave. She didn't care.
"It's going to kill Miss P when you leave," she said lightly, stepping into Abe's room. He looked up at her from the floor but said nothing. "Just kill her. Have you thought about that? She's already lost Victor, and now with you leaving, you might just as well stick a knife in her heart." If she couldn't convince Abe to stay, then at least she could make him feel as guilty as possible for leaving them. "And Bronwyn, too — think of what it'll do to her. She'll probably start having nightmares twice as often after you leave."
Bronwyn had been having terrible nightmares since Victor was killed. She would wake up the entire second floor of the house with her crying and wailing, and Miss Peregrine would be up late with her getting her to fall asleep again.
Abe had gone back to packing. "I don't blame you if you hate me, Emma," he said to his knapsack. "Sometimes I hate me, too."
Emma was glad that Abe wasn't looking at her, because she couldn't keep the surprise off her face at this confession. Why would Abe hate himself? Did he blame himself for not seeing the Hollow that had killed Victor in time to save him?
"For what?" she asked, still trying to sound spiteful. "For leaving us?"
Abe didn't answer her right away. He stood up and crossed the room to stare out the window. The view from Abe's room was a very fine one; you could see all the way across the garden and down to the sea. Even now, in the growing darkness, there was enough moonlight to see the waves breaking on the rocky shore. Emma watched Abe closely as he stood there. His back was very straight, and he gripped the windowsill with both hands, so tightly that his knuckles were white.
"Sometimes I hate myself for coming here," he said lowly, and these words were such a shock that Emma thought that she must have misheard him. Surely he didn't mean that he hated living in Miss Peregrine's house? But then he went on, "Here I am, living in a nice house and eating three meals every day and sleeping in a bed every night, and the whole time since I've been here... Do you know what's happened to my parents? Do you have any idea?"
Emma swallowed and said nothing. Miss Peregrine tried very hard to keep them sheltered here, but despite her efforts, news from the outside still trickled into their loop sometimes. Emma knew about the terrible war that was raging in the big world beyond their safe little loop. She knew that the Nazis had invaded Poland and were doing unspeakable things there, especially to Jewish families like Abe's.
"And it's not just my parents, either. It's Bubbe and Zaidy and Tanta Rose and Rebbe and everyone in the entire village, probably, because they couldn't get out before like me—" But Abe's voice broke on the word, and for a moment, Emma thought he would cry.
Abe paused for a long time, gathering himself, before he went on, "I can't stay here and do nothing, Emma. I just can't. Not anymore. If I go join the army, they'll teach me how to fight. That's what I'm going to do — fight Nazis and fight Hollows. If I had done it sooner, then maybe I could've killed that Hollow before it killed Victor, and then he would still be here now, and Bronwyn would've never started having nightmares, and Miss Peregrine would be able to sleep through the night."
Emma tried to hold onto it, but her anger at Abe was slipping away from her. She looked away from him and squared her shoulders, trying to shift back into the stiff, angry posture that she'd had when she followed him upstairs. She looked back at Abe when she heard a metallic clinking and saw that he was now on his knees on the rug, pulling two old silver candlesticks out from beneath his bed.
Abe had brought very little with him when his parents had smuggled him out of Poland. In fact, as far as Emma knew, pretty much all that he had brought were the clothes on his back and these two candlesticks. Their slender silver bodies were stained and needed to be polished, but Abe had never done so. He'd rarely ever taken them out from under his bed before. Emma watched him as he held in his hands now, looking down at them, and she could tell that it was painful for Abe to even see them.
"They were my mother's," he said softly. "They were in our family since a long time. I'm going to leave them here with Miss P." He raised his eyes to Emma's and went on, his voice tender, "I wish I had something to give you, too, Emma. But I have to give these to Miss P. They always belong to the mother of the family."
Emma realized then that there was nothing she could say to keep Abe here, to stop him from going. He really was going to leave her, and not only that, now he was going to give his most prized possession to Miss Peregrine and leave Emma with nothing. Probably only Miss Peregrine could've convinced him to stay, and she wasn't going to do it. Emma could feel the sadness gathering force inside her, but she didn't want to cry in front of Abe, so she turned and left his room without another word.
On the second floor, on the way back to her own room, Emma passed Miss Peregrine in the hall, leaving the twins' room. The little kids had gotten started with their bedtime routines while she'd been in Abe's room; the boys were taking their baths now, and Miss Peregrine had just put the twins to bed, which was always a tricky task, because of their peculiarities. She turned off the light, closed the door behind her, ran one hand over her hair distractedly, and started off down the hall, probably to help Claire wash out her backmouth.
As Emma watched, a rush of anger flared inside her again. She hated Miss Peregrine for acting so normal, as if Abe wasn't about to leave them forever. She knew, deep down, that what she'd just told Abe was true, that it was going to kill Miss Peregrine to have one of her children leave like this, especially so soon after Victor, but nobody would ever guess that from looking at her. How could she be acting so normal? What had she done with all her hurt?
"I hate you," she spat out at her ymbryne as they passed in the hall, her voice low but clear.
Emma quite shocked herself with these words — as angry as she was with Miss Peregrine for letting Abe leave them, she'd never dared to speak to her ymbryne that way before — but Miss Peregrine was just as calm as ever. "Mmm, well, I'm sorry to hear that, Emma," she said lightly, and then she continued on her way down the hall.