AUTHOR'S NOTE: Real nervous about this one as it's all in Thomas' point of view.

1912

Thomas knew his sleeping habits were going to change once the baby was born. However, he didn't expect it to change much before the baby.

He was old enough to remember his mom being pregnant with both Ada and Finn. He remembers the mood swings and increased appetite. Hell, he even remembers the frequent trips to the bathroom.

What he doesn't remember is insomnia if his mother even had it.

With Evelyn's due date nearing, he finds his wife tossing and turning all night keeping them both awake. He had to be really tired if he didn't feel her crawling out of the bed considering the expanse of her belly.

Evelyn is all belly.

He is scared someday that she will fall over due to how big her stomach is. His wife is a tiny thing and even he is worried about how she is going to push out their son.

He opens his eyes and finds her pacing in front of the window. There is a chill in the room. He assumes she is having a hot flash.

He eyes Evelyn silently. He finds it often he would just take her in. If someone would have told him a year ago he would be married with a kid he would have laughed.

He knew marriage was a prospect that would happen someday. He just didn't think it would be this soon, or with Evelyn Maxwell.

He is relieved she has blended in with the family with ease. It helps that they were all familiar with each other. He knows her from her brother, Silas, being friends with Arthur. Besides, both being of gypsy descent they had a kinship with each other.

He had expected his life to take a drastic change with a wife.

Yet, the changes that are happening were gradual and soft. Soft like the woman before him. He always admired the softness that women carried in themselves. It was hard to see in his household considering his father beat it away with his mother. Aunt Pol was more of a drill sergeant.

Yet with Evelyn, he is able to admire that softness unreserved from the way she would place her layers of clothes on, how she moves so freely around the house, or when it was just the two of them in their room and her hands would trace his scars. Her hands are not withered from harsh work. He knows the one splurge she indulges in is some fancy cream to maintain the integrity of her skin.

"What's got you worried now?"

Evelyn jumps startled. She stops her pacing. "I'm sorry did I wake you?"

Thomas shakes his head as he gets out of bed. "You gonna tell me what's wrong with me girl?"

Evelyn sighs. Her hand caresses her belly as she turns to look out the window. She doesn't answer.

He stands behind her. He wraps his arms around her and his hands rest on her belly. He is rewarded with a kick to his palm. It still weirds him out how her stomach contorts with the movement. He rubs a soothing circle on the area where their son is playing football. "The babe keeping you up?"

"No more than usual."

"But not tonight?"

Evelyn blows a raspberry. She seems reluctant to answer.

"C'mon, tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

"So you think I'm pretty?"

"Beautiful," he tells her honestly.

"Even when I look like a cow."

"I don't think I could describe how beautiful you look swollen with my seed."

He thinks there are no words. When he looks at her, he thinks of the statue of Mother Mary at church, and how the light retracts around her from the stained glass windows when the sun is at its peak. She looks ethereal as if she didn't belong on this earth. His hands are too poor, too dirty, to even touch her skin.

"Will you be mad if it's not a boy?"

He shakes his head. "All I want is a healthy babe and for me wife to be healthy and safe."

"If something were to happen -"

Thomas makes a noise in his throat interrupting her. "Don't speak like that."

"Thomas-"

"I won't hear of it, Evelyn."

Evelyn closes her lips. Christ, he doesn't even want her to speak it into existence. He couldn't bear the thought of something happening during the birth.

He sighs and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I can't bear the thought. The thought of it...it rips my soul that I wouldn't be able to do anything. It would be out of my control," he admits. "I love ya. So you're going to be here with me celebrating all the holidays and birthdays and changing shitty nappies."

He is startled when she turns in his arms. Her belly presses against his. "Do you realize what you just said?"

He looks at her blankly.

"Oh, you men!"

He is alarmed to see anger in her eyes.

"What did I say?"

She slaps his chest.

"Eh, what was that for?"

"You just said you loved me for the first time and don't even remember even saying it!"

Thomas fights the urge to laugh and shake common sense in his wife. "You silly woman. You thought all these months that I didn't love you. I practically tell you every day!"

"Not with words you don't!"

Thomas snorts and pulls her into him as much as he can as he presses his forehead against hers. "I love you, yeah."

He presses a kiss to her lips. "By the way, I have yet to hear it out of your pretty lips."

"You know I love you."

"Let me hear you say it."

"I love you, Thomas Michael Shelby."

Thomas smiles and gives her another kiss.

He looks down and notices her nipples peeking through the fabric. "You know the cold probably isn't good for you and the babe."

He looks into her hooded eyes. The grey reminds him of molten silver.

He pulls her away from the window without resistance.

James Alexander Shelby is born 16 hours later.

1919

Being away for four years, Thomas is ashamed to admit he didn't feel much like a father or even a husband. He barely felt like a man some days.

In the war, the tunnels, he kept the picture Evelyn had sent of her and Jamie close. He stared at it constantly to remember what he had to go home to. To not forget the love he had for his family. The dreams he had for them.

He held the picture as it became withered and torn at the edges. He held it to remember the feeling of Evelyn's silky hair. The sound of her laughter and her small hushed moans. The way she smelled of vanilla and honey. He tried to remember the feel of Jamie's small whispers of hairs against his lips. The sound of his giggles when you tickled his feet.

Most importantly, he tried to remember the weight of them in his arms. How Jamie loved to be laid out across his chest and Evelyn loved to bury her face in his neck. He fought to remember how her breath would tickle his neck.

It was the smaller threads in his life he struggled to remember. How Evelyn always ran her fingers through his hair and the way her thumb would rub across his pulse on his neck. The way Jamie would cling to his legs and mimic him when he was working at his desk.

So when seeing them as he stepped off the train and onto that platform, he wasn't going back home to a photo with old memories. He was going home to a wife and son that he didn't know anymore. His son was taller and spoke in full sentences. His wife was thinner and her grey eyes were dim.

He didn't know what to do with that.

Although it seemed whatever memories Jamie had of him was enough for the boy to want to be near him and spend time with him.

It is a Saturday and with him just buying a horse, he decides to head to Charlie's Yard. Evelyn had lightly suggested that Jamie would love to tag along. He watched as his boy's eyes lit up. It does warm his heart that his son seems to share his love of horses.

Evelyn has sent them with sandwiches, enough to feed a stable and more, some juice, and a kiss to both their cheeks blessing them for a good day.

He has to admit his son is well-behaved for the most part. He doesn't forget how he and Finn had wandered to the Cut by themselves. He knows this is only a prelude to the trouble a teenage Finn and Jamie will find themselves in.

When it comes to the horses, his son takes it very seriously. He remembers Evelyn mentioning in one of her letters that Curly and Charlie were teaching him how to care for horses. Charlie would take Jamie for the day and come back smelling as if he was rolling around in the horse shit. He smiles remembering those letters and the small sloppy tidbits that Jamie would draw and write.

However, it is nice seeing his son work diligently between him and Curly. His little hands carry the buckets, rake the hay, and brush the manes for the horses. He even braids one to match his Mama he tells him.

He is even taken back by Jamie's soft orders in Shelta as he speaks gently to the horses.

Thomas makes them take a break for lunch and moves them over to where Charlie keeps some tables and benches.

"Your mom take you here a lot when I was away?" He asks his son.

Jamie nods his head. "Or sometimes Uncle Charlie would take me especially when Mama was sad."

"When she was sad?"

"She would cry in her room and none of my hugs or kisses would work. So Uncle Charlie would take me and when I came back Mama was happy again."

Tommy doesn't like the feeling swirling in his gut. It reminds him of his mother at the end. Uncle Charlie always knew when to come in and distract them as kids and lift his mother's spirit.

"You want a horse of your own?

"Mama says I'm too little," he tells petulantly. His nose scrunches up as Evelyn does when she is annoyed, or in a very righteous mood. It's a look that he has been seeing a lot these days. "Says I can get a pony. But I don't want a pony those are for girls."

Tommy fights the snorts as he lights his cigarette. "I'll talk to your mom about it."

Jamie smiles and his bright blue eyes shine through the smog of Birmingham. The boy is the spitting image of his mother except for those eyes. He remembers Evelyn telling him Jamie would have his eyes. Thomas never thought about the minuscule details of what their child would look like. He always maintained that he just wanted the child to be safe - healthy. He isn't ignorant that childbirth is one of the most dangerous things exclusive to women.

As he looks at his son, Jamie has his eyes from before the war. Untainted.

Even then, he knew Evelyn wasn't referring to their color. Jamie would see the world from the lens that he does.

He doesn't want that for his son.

Thomas makes Jamie do a quick wash of his hands and face before going home.

It is getting close to dinner time. He didn't expect to spend his whole day in Charlie's Yard, but he knew the trip was needed to bond with his son.

Jamie tugs on his hand. "Can we get fish and chips with Mama?"

"No Finn?"

Jamie gets a sheepish look on his face. "Sometimes I don't like sharing Mama."

Christ, even his boy is possessive like him. He wonders how Jamie would take it if they were blessed with more kids. He has been surprised Evelyn hasn't brought him the news they were expecting. He would be happy, but he is relieved as he wants them to be in a bigger place before expanding their family.

Tommy pats his son's head. "I know it's hard having to share yer mom, but me and your uncles are back so it'll give you some more time with her, alright."

Jamie nods his head.

He lets out a grunt when someone slams into him. He is instantly annoyed that the person was even in their way, to begin with.

"Are you alright, Daddy?"

Tommy swipes a hand down his suit. "I'm alright, son."

Tommy looks up and eyes the dark hair fellow before him. He knows who this man is and also what is being whispered behind his back about this man.

"Hi, Mr. Hayes," Jamie greets cheerily.

Tommy stares blankly as the man crouches down and greets his son. He doesn't miss the man passing him some candy.

"Mr. Hayes, this is me daddy. He is home now!" Jamie exclaims with his childlike excitement.

Duncan stands tall and extends his hand. "I've heard about ye."

Tommy debates not shaking the man's hand, but he does since his son is in front of him. Tommy accepts the handshake. At least the man has a strong grip before he pulls away.

"Funny, never heard of you," Tommy retorts as he goes in his pockets for cigarettes and lights one.

He holds the man's stare.

"Daddy is going to take Mama and me to get fish and chips!" Jamie tells the man.

"Well, I guess I won't keep ya then." Duncan gives Jamie a smile, but his face goes blank as he looks at him. "Nice to meet you, Thomas."

"I thought only Mama called you Thomas, Daddy," Jamie asks confused.

"She is, but it seems I'm going to have to teach him a listen, ey?"

When they enter the house, he finds Evelyn in the living room with Ada. There is fabric, needles, and yarns scattered about. Ada makes a big production of swiping the fabric Evelyn had in her hands out of his view. From the quick glance he got, it seems like some sort of fancy silk slip. Now he knows for sure there is some type of man in his sister's life.

Before he can question anything, Evelyn ropes in Jamie to deflect.

"Did you have fun today with Daddy?"

Jamie beams as he runs into his mother's arms. "Daddy said I can get a horse. Not a pony," he tells her sternly in a perfect imitation of him.

Evelyn raises her eyebrows as she looks at him. "Oh did he?"

"I said we'll talk about it," he tells her as he eyes the living room. "And what was going on in here?"

"Thomas -" Evelyn begins.

"Let me see it, Ada," he orders.

Ada throws him an annoyed look, but she doesn't fight him. It just makes him all the more suspicious. It's a silk pink slip and there is a lace trimming pinned to it. He furrows his brows.

"If you didn't know your wife is good at needlework. I wanted her to embellish this for me by adding the lace," Ada informs him and he watches as Evelyn looks embarrassed. "I'm pretty sure you probably don't take long enough to admire the small designs she added to hers."

Tommy is a bit embarrassed he doesn't know about his wife's talent. He knows she tries to hide her interest in all the high fashions. They are too poor to own many fancy things. There are splurges here and there. They are doing better now after the war than before since he is drumming up new business as much as he can. He even has plans to turn their betting shop legitimate. He knows his wife likes the delicate lacy things, he is privy to that knowledge. He just didn't know her hands are the ones making them.

"And why would you need them, Ada? Last time I checked there wasn't any husband needing the knowledge of your lacy trims."

Ada snatches the fabric out of his hands. "Why do you wear your suits, Tommy?"

Tommy doesn't answer as Jamie exclaims he is hungry. "Can I trust you to feed yourself and Finn?" He says instead.

"We'll head over to Aunt Polly's," Ada tells him as she heads upstairs.

"And where are we going?" Evelyn asks him.

"Jamie wants fish and chips for dinner."

Evelyn looks at their son and tickles his belly. "Aren't you being spoiled today?"

It's strange going out together as a family. Since he's been home, they all haven't been out together since their outing at church and to her parents.

He knows everyone is aware of who the Shelbys are. He and his brother own the streets and offer these people protection. Yet, it's different having people lower their heads in respect than offering murmurs of how they are a beautiful family.

He knows he is one of the lucky ones. He was able to come home with his brothers and his wife and son. But at what cost?

People greet his wife freely and he wonders if it's because he is by her side. People respect him out of fear. He knows all about how his peers view him with their gypsy blood. He knows Evelyn and her brother, Silas, had it worse. They lived the traveling ways before being plucked into civilization.

He knows how people whisper behind her back. He knows they gossip about her being some gypsy witch who can curse someone with the look of an eye. He can laugh about it some days, but he knows deep down that she can speak something into existence as his own grandmother did.

Dinner itself is quiet and calm. He prefers his cigarette to the food. His son causes a mess with his greasy hands and the crumbs that fall all over his chest. His cigarette hides his smile as Evelyn scolds the boy softly for being so messy.

Jamie only giggles before he stands up in his seat and plants a greasy kiss on her cheek.

He doesn't have it in him to scold the boy. He is clearly excited about having his parents together and Tommy could give a fuck about what the other customers may be thinking.

Besides, he dares any one of them to say a dirty remark. He would cut out their tongues without a second thought.

When they arrived home, the house is quiet. He assumes Ada and Finn are still at Polly's.

Jamie had fallen asleep in his arms as soon as they left the shop. He passes the boy into Evelyn's arms as she takes him to lay in bed.

He opts to stay downstairs. He grabs a whiskey and smokes another cigarette.

He does a walk-through of the betting shop before he trudges his way up the stairs.

As he enters the room, Evelyn is already in her nightgown. She is at her small dressing table as she lets her hair out of her updo. He watches as her black hair falls down in waves across her shoulder. He relishes in the sigh it emits from her lips.

He begins emptying his pockets when she stands before him.

Her hands replace his as she begins to assist him.

"Thank you for dinner," she tells him softly.

He nods his head as she helps him remove his jacket. She begins removing his waistcoat next.

It's a routine that he missed, and he doesn't know why he has been avoiding it.

It's quiet as she removes his various items of clothing. He eyes the slip she is wearing and the intricate lace trimming.

It's moments like these that he knows he is lucky. He knows there are men out there that don't appreciate their wives or their wives don't appreciate them.

He hears stories of the pretty wives that look good on their arms, but lack in other areas, and their looks fade as they age.

Evelyn is as beautiful as he remembered. Even as they were young, she had stood out with her striking grey eyes and long dark hair. As she ages, her beauty only gets more refined.

As much as the city would whisper about her wicked grey eyes, he knows men would have no problem taking the chance of being cursed. He is sure if she was the wife of any other man there would be plenty of men willing to break their vows with her.

His wife could have anyone and it still baffles she chose him. She spoiled herself with him and gave him his child.

Her question interrupts his musings. "Do you want to shave?"

"In the morning."

She gives him a soft smile as she grabs his discarded things and begins folding them.

He grabs another cigarette and stands by the window.

"I met Duncan Hayes today," he tells her. He watches in the reflection and she doesn't seem bothered by the mention of his name.

"He owns the sweet shop," she tells him.

"Jamie seems comfortable around him."

That has her pausing in her actions. She folds his pants and stands straighter. "What are you really asking me?"

"I don't want you going to his shop."

She scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous."

Tommy turns to stare at her fully. "I fucking mean it, Evelyn."

"Why? What's the reason you're forbidding me from going to the sweet shop?"

"You fucking know why. Do you think I like going to the Garrison or around town and hearing how this fucking Duncan Hayes is sweet on me wife? How she makes weekly visits with me son to visit him."

"And you believe those drunken bastards that call me a witch and can't even look me in the eye. But when your back is turn would be tempted to pull at my skirt if they didn't fear you would cut their hands off?"

"The fucking point is that Duncan Hayes is too familiar with me son and me wife."

"Familiar?" Evelyn releases a bitter laugh. Her eyes narrow into slits. "If you didn't know by now you're the only man I have ever let in between my thighs and look where that fucking got me."

Evelyn gets under the covers and turns so her back is facing him.

Thomas sighs and finishes his cigarette. He runs his hands through his hair and he realizes his hands are shaking. He slides back on his pants and grabs his coat and his wooden box of his medicine.

He heads to Charlie's yard and smokes his Opium. He dreams of Evelyn being trapped down in those fucking tunnels and he can't save her.