When Kelly walked into the hospital searching her out the sense of relief that over took her was so massive she felt nasoueus. His eyes rest on her but he doesn't approach and she knew something was truly gravely wrong. She rolled forward "Kell, baby…" she grabbed his hand and tugged him to her a step. As they roll past with Mills and Shay.
Shay is being heavily worked on with heroic measures. "What happened Kelly?" She asked and she could hear Viv losing it behind her but her focus is solely on Kelly and getting him to look at her and register her face and the surroundings.
"Propane tanks and a open flame." He answered woodenly. They paged Carver over their heads. "That's not good." Kelly muttered.
"He's the best at what-" Klaire lets out an ear splitting scream between the rush of people and Vivi's hysteria she was frightened. Kelly's gaze whipped over to her. Confusion colors his face. "She's ours, they mother gave her back. She's ours. For real, you were right baby."
He choked back a sob and walked over to her and tried taking her from Mara. The baby girl shied away. "You're dirty sweetie, you don't look like her Daddy. Say her name." Mara offered gently.
"Hi Klairey, hi baby…" He said gently leaning down into her eye line. She smiled at him and for a singular moment the lead weight on his chest lifts off.
"Kelly are you hurt?" Liv asked.
"Ceiling debris fell on me, cut my arm but I'm fine. I shouldn't touch Klaire fiberglass."
"Come on let's get it cleaned and stitched. We won't go far just to exam three. Intern who's name I don't recall set me up in three."
-/-
In her haste to treat him she cut off his shirt. "Coulda taken it off Livvy." He joked softly and the urge to cry hits her hard its so unexpected and strong that she stopped and kissed the space between his shoulder blades. "I love you."
"I know. Ditto."
She hid her sly smile in his back. "okay then Swayze, I have to numb your shoulder cleaning these cuts may sting anyway."
"Alright. Do your thing hot doc." He tried for flirty but it fell flat.
It's clear to her that Kelly didn't really want to talk so she turned on the music in her phone. Stay With Me by Sam Smith pierced the silence. It helped balance her, and forget the storm she was in.
"I just realized it's the first time you've worked on me." He said quietly.
"No offense but let's hope it's the last, consider it payment for services rendered in saving my life." She retorted dryly.
"Best save I ever made." He paused. "She's dead Liv. She was dead before we left the warehouse." He said mechanically.
"Babe… you don't know that Carver's the best."
"Olivia, I know she is dead." He said firmly.
"Kelly don't give-" The sound of her sister screaming tears into the room cutting off her hopeful statement.
"Goddamn it!" Liv swore and threw a box of gloves across the room. Kelly simply dropped his head and sighed. "I have to finish this then we'll go." She whispered gathering her wits and going to work.
"Okay."
"I cut your shirt to pieces." She murmured.
He looks over his good shoulder at her. "My hoodie is in your locker from the last hospital dinner date. You were cold."
-/-/-
As Kelly went to get his hoodie with the help of an orderly. Liv slipped into to the room where Shay lay prone and lifeless.
The nurse looks up from removing her ET tube. "You shouldn't be in here Sev, She's family."
"She is, I still stay. get someone in here to clean up the blood" she picked a folded drape cloth from the sink counter. She pours hot water into a basin and carries it over to Shay's body. "I'm going to get you lookin' good for your girl." She began wiping away the blood covering her head and fine boned face. "She's going to be okay, and so will Kelly." The nurse removing chest tubes and the cleaning crew stare at her but she continues. The tears she's holding in push at the backs of her eyes and burn. "I really do love him you know, He'll be a different kinda whole but he will be again. You have my word. Vivi she'll rise to the challenge of life but you knew that didn't you, Rest easy in paradise my friend." She kissed her already cool forehead.
She covered her for modesty's sake and crossed her arms over her stomach.
Liv takes a deep breath and waits for the others to leave before letting in Vivianne and Kelly.
She lets in Vivi and the woman gets one look at the person she loves and crumbles like sandcastles hit by waves she leaned into their father sobbing uncontrollably. " I'm sorry baby so sorry, please… I was jealous and afraid I'm sorry Leslie…please forgive me..I didn't, I didn't mean it. I love you."
The sight of her sobbing heartbroken sister is too much to take so she looks away and there's Kelly next to her. He wiped at the tears Liv hadn't known she'd cried. She takes his hand and then he anchors his other hand on the back of her neck. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you. I'm sorry baby." She whispered there was nothing else she knew to say.
"I know me too." He said lips pressed to her forehead.
As her father lead Vivi out Liv looked closely at Kelly's face. The pain was evident but she still wanted to protect him from it and save him the shattering heart break of true and unrelenting loss. "Do you want me to stay?"
"I- no, baby I don't." She nodded, kissed him let go of his hand and rolled out closing the door behind her. As he pulled the curtain closed Erin pulled Liv into a hug. She sobbed silently hanging on tightly to Erin. "I can't help either of them. I can't heal it Erin."
"That ain't your job Livvy, its God's just be there."
-/-/-
Liv does exactly as Erin says, she's there through funeral arrangements, the funeral and the aftermath Vivi lives in the spare bedroom emotionally unprepared for the apartment's absence of Shay. Vivi leans on her as if she's a human life preserver and Kelly does the polar opposite and no matter what Liv tries she can't reach him. The only time he smiles is when he's in the presence of Klaire and even that is forced and rare. There is little involvement or joy on Kelly's part concerning her pregnancy, it would sting if Kelly wasn't so broken instead it makes her sad.
The fire guys keep their distance so Liv fights the current on her own.
-/-/-
Casey goes to Severide's place hoping he'd be there. His car's there with a car seat base in the back but his bike is gone. When he knocks on the door Vivi answers.
"Vivianne…" Casey said kind of unsure as to what to say to Shay's former partner.
"Hey Matt need something?" She said leaning on the door and he can smell alcohol seeping from her pores.
"To speak with Severide."
"ain't here bailed for the week. Ask my sister she's upstairs."She pointed with her thumb over shoulder and moved to let him in.
"It's good to see you Viv."
"Uh huh, I bet." She said sarcastically turned and walked into Liv's library.
-/-
"Hey Liv," She stands with the aide of her chair doing the dishes. Klaire sits in the floor at Liv's feet. Liv jumps at the sound of his voice.
"Matty." She said simply and there's an edge to it.
"She's getting big." He commented about Klaire.
"First time you been by in six week I imagine she's a lot bigger." Liv turned the chair around without sitting Matt knew she wasn't meant to do that but doesn't point it out. "Do you need something?" She said arms crossed over her chest. Indignation on her face and wearing wrinkled blue scrubs she reminds him of Hallie in this moment.
"Trying to find Severide."
She laughs dryly. "Oh now you try and find him? Six weeks later? It's been fucking radio silence from everyone but Mills who least tries to call. Kelly doesn't talk to me, he's holed up again and I'm trying not to push him but do you know what silence like this does to a marriage it kills it. I have Vivi too I can't get her out of the house! Do you know what it feels like to have your person but feel like you're going to lose them because they fear pain? For someone so tough Kelly is the most terrified guy I know. I'm going crazy, he hasn't smiled at me in three weeks! He smiles at the baby, he talks to the baby, the baby is the only person who doesn't know it's an act!" She shouted at him throwing up her hands. She shook her head minutely. " The worst part you guys are a "family" and not one of you fuckers will help me help them! So unless you are going to help me pull Kelly outta the hole he's in, you can get the fuck out of my house!" She ends on another yell.
When Klaire wails Matt pick her up. "That's why I'm here, he needs a kick in the pants I'll do it. Where is he? " He bounces Klaire kissing her dark head.
"He's up at his Dad's cabin on Silver Lake." She sat the chair down and rolled to the fridge taking a picture down. She places the photo copy of a sonogram in his hand. "First one, he missed it. Take that to him."
"Liv." She took the baby from him.
"It's healthy it's all on track tell him. I'm fine. There's nothing to worry over." She said shortly.
"When he's not in so much pain he will regret that." He offered gently.
"As he should."
-/-/-
"There better be a good reason I'm in the woods at night Kelly Benjamin." He looks over his shoulder and there sits Liv in torn black jeans and a tank top that reads "My man carries a haligan!" she only has on lip gloss and mascara. Her hair is piled under a newsboy cap.
"Hey baby, I just-" she struggled to roll toward him on the uneven ground.
"I'll come to you Livvy, "He walked over and kissed her. She pulled him back in and kissed him again. The smile against her mouth is there and gone again in seconds. He broke the kiss and moved behind her to tip the chair back and wheel her over by the fire pit.
"So baby…" She said turning her hat backward and setting everything up to build a fire. "You are a multitude of things a good boat mechanic even but you can't make a life on it. We're not buying into that old fogey's sputtering business. We have kids to raise Kelly." She said concretely side eying him as she piled logs.
"I know." He swigged his beer.
"Do you?" She pushed.
"Where's Klaire?" He asked changing the subject.
"With Erin. I didn't want to have this conversation with her present." She flips open a zippo he didn't know she owned and closed it. Flipping it again.
"What conversation? "
"The one where you tell me you're too much like Benny. That you want to run and don't want me anymore because being with me is going to require you to live on without Shay." She said staring into the pit.
She could feel his eyes on her as she lit the fire. "You're good at that, fast."
"Girl scout." She shrugs. "Marshmallows are in the truck."
"You're wrong." He said plainly.
"No, there's marshmallows I fought Daddy for em'." She joked to cover her fear.
"I ran, but you're wrong about me not wanting you."
When she just stares at him something in his eyes change. "I love you. I'm struggling Livvy but I do love you, I just forgot for second that you're my shotgun rider, my very best friend, you and Shay. You're the person I chose Liv, Casey reminded me today its not about the loses its about the lives we've saved. That book?" he nods to log book on a tree stump. "Your name? it's in there twice under the saved column. We do it for reasons like that. Big life changing saves, me getting to marry you, those kids we saved will get to play sports and go to college, Dad's get to walk their daughters down the aisle because we did our job, because someone has too."
He turns her chair to face him. " In my head I know, Shay went the way any first responder wants too in pursuit of a save and just because I can't get my heart to understand it, it doesn't mean I've stopped loving you. I love you more because you're the only person left who still sees me." He finished turning his wedding band on his finger with his thumb nervously
He pulled the sonogram photo from his pocket. "And about this? I'm sorry."
"No I am, that was a low blow." She said softly.
"It was the truth."
She sits in his lap as they roast marshmallows. When he pulls it from the flames and it's still on fire she flinches away," I've survived fiery explosions and a building collapse death by marshmallow no thanks."
Kelly starts laughing and can't stop. "Baby.." Liv said wary.
"Funny, that was so funny." He said trying to catch his breath.
"OK Kell.."
"You were genuinely scared." He laughed again.
"You waved something on fire in my face!" She defended.
"Baby, I'm a fire fighter I got this, only thing I'm better at than sex." He said with a cocky half smile.
"I thought you wanted to be a boater? Is boater a word?"
"You kabashed it." He shrugged.
"If involves you wearing sleeveless shirts and or no shirt I may retract." She leaned side ways to look at him.
"So you only want me for my body?" he blew out the flame on the marshmallow and took it off the stick.
He offered her a bite. "Yeah Kell, the fact that you're funny, smart, brave and generally the best guy I know is a total turn off." She laughed. "What do you think?" She said biting into the marshmallow.
"That if I play my cards right I'm getting lucky?
"Scooch together we're taking a selifie." He ignored her request and wiped the tiny bit of marshmallow sticking to her lip away before kissing her.
The picture snapped. "Sneaky girl." He muttered still kissing her.
-/-/-
Liv goes inside to clean out Shay's things so they can sell the place. She knows Kelly is outside staring at the house willing himself to come in. Vivi didn't even attempt to come at all so she sits in the silent empty apartment not really know what's important or what's not.
"Hey Liv! Where do you want us?" Matt asked.
"Hey don't use double entendre's with my wife! That's mine I saved it, I love it, I married it, back off." Kelly said only half joking and feeling a tad territorial.
"I'm an it? Really?" Liv said oddly offended.
"No but-"
"Kelly you're digging a hole buddy just stop and ask where she needs help." Casey advised.
"Where do need help pretty wife?" he said and Liv grinned.
"He learns fast Matty, I've got our old bedroom, Kelly you take the living area and once I finish up that room I'll help with the kitchen. Matt can you take the upper bed rooms?"
"Yeah fine!"
-/-/-
Their room is mostly empty of their things and has been taken over with Devon's clothes and general junk. "I'm going to burn this shit." She said to herself.
She hears Shay's voice in the next room and wheels in to see the tv on Kelly stands leaning on a chair back as he watched the screen. As she gets closer she can see he's on the verge of tears. She rolls up beside him and stands.
"Rule number two we never bring our work home." He said. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him.
"You broke your own rule for me."
"Anytime Livvy, hell every time." He lifted her hand and kissed her palm.
The camera turns to Shay and Kelly tenses. He's ok through the third rule but the last one gets him. "Oh and we're always there for each other we have each others backs."
"Always." He returned.
"No matter what, always." She replied.
Liv wipes the tears trickling down his cheek. "Baby look at me and listen." When he looks at her she can practically feel his pain for herself. "I know I'm not Shay, and I wouldn't ever dare to try to replace her but I've got you Kelly, I've got you, come hell or high water no matter what? Nothing will change the fact that I will catch you if you need it, I love you and I may not know all things Shay does but you're my soul mate, you are my best friend even above Erin and I will not leave you. You can trust me because I love you that much okay?"
He nodded affirmative and she kissed him. "Now wanna help me burn Devon's stuff?" She gives him a glittering evil smile.
He gives a startled half laugh and little cry. "I love you Livvy."
"I'm just the bees knees and great in the sack you got lucky." She retorts and gives him one last kiss.
"It's my last day off . I don't wanna put anything out, don't light klepto skank's shit on fire babe." He said tucking hair behind her ear.
"Okay, you win, this time McFireballs."
AN: That's the chapter folks, I only own Liv and Klaire nothing else if you liked it even if you didn't like it review it please, it helps my process. Thank a ton for the support thus far! Until next week Fire Fans, -MM