Disclaimer: I hereby disclaim all rights to all characters (save for those of my own creation) in this time of building tension… especially for the ones who have so much going on.
~保護者~
"Resentment"
~保護者~
Thirty days had passed. Espio was sitting in a branch of the tree his home had been built in. Aku was dozing somewhere behind him, but the chameleon barely paid him any mind. He was more focused on his infant son, who was laying in his lap. The child had hold of one of Espio's fingers in each hand and seemed to be taking great pleasure out of shaking them up and down repetitively. With quiet amusement, Espio continued to allow Sako to do this, almost managing to smile when the baby again noticed the slow-falling snowflakes fluttering down around them. Sako's eyes were wide with what Espio could only assume was wonder and curiosity. The sight was… somehow wonderful, in its own way.
His son released his left hand in order to try batting at some of the snowflakes. Espio watched him for a time, using his now free hand to ensure that Sako didn't accidentally cause himself to fall by doing this. He had just finished readjusting the child when he abruptly realized how distracted he had truly been. Rose was walking toward him, had in fact gotten quite close already, and he hadn't previously noticed. Looking down, he spied the she-cat blending in with the snow far below as she walked, and he watched to see what she would do.
The cat he was watching practically warped her way onto a tree branch not far from him, using some sort of technique that was not related to teleportation. A smile on her face, she regarded him with a gentle nod of her head. "I see that you are enjoying time with one of your children, yes?" He merely blinked at her, waiting for her to continue. Knowing that he was waiting for this, she simply continued to smile. "Would you mind if I took some time to speak with you?"
"About?" Espio questioned. Sako, meanwhile, took the opportunity to try and smack at another snowflake. He missed, but Espio easily kept him from falling.
"Simple things. Nothing too serious. I wish to get to know you better, and for you to be able to do the same with me." She turned her head away, then shrugged briefly. "I thought it might be nice for us to have a genuine conversation outside of my attempts to help with that which afflicts you."
That idea wasn't very thrilling. The idea of having a conversation of any sort with anyone was hardly a grand one, in his opinion. Espio immediately sought a way out, but… given that he was the only one here at the moment and Zei was napping inside, he couldn't very well just leave. Which meant he was stuck. Great…
"I will keep it as painless as possible," she murmured. "What do you think of Armaris? I have noticed that she seems happier when she is around you."
It was safe enough to admit the truth, he supposed, so he did. "I don't know."
Rose nodded in response. "Love is difficult to translate, and much harder to articulate. I do not hold it against you to be unsure." Having no real response to that, Espio opted to remain silent. He adjusted his hold on his son when the baby tried once again to smack at. This time, it was a lone leaf that had begun to fall. The cat decided to speak once more, seeing that he had decided to be quiet for the time being. "Do you have any opinion of me? You seem to trust me, yet you also do not."
Espio opted for a half-truth this time, a very partial explanation that didn't reveal too much. "I hardly know you."
"You often refrain from telling the whole truth, and I will not attempt to force you to speak it, but I would prefer to know your thoughts. Your opinion of me shapes much of what happens going forward," she explained. "I would appreciate it."
"I have no opinion to give," he responded simply.
"That is all I needed to know," Rose murmured gently. "Seeing as I have asked you countless questions, do you have any for me? I would be more than happy to attempt to answer them."
That wasn't something he was comfortable doing, so he immediately shot the offer down with a short, "No."
"I understand," Rose answered. "In that case… how are you doing? I know you have been around some other people recently, and I grow worried for you with how often you are away. Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine," Espio told her, still keeping his replies short in the (perhaps vain) hope that it would eventually deter her. Somehow, though, he didn't truly believe it would ever work.
Rose raised an eyebrow gently. "Espio, I have come to realize with time that, without attempting to decode your emotion, the words 'I'm fine' are often used to cover the truth." She finally turned her gaze fully back to him, an almost saddened frown on her face. "For your own sake, and that of your family and those that care for you, I ask that you simply tell whether or not you are willing to talk about it."
That he didn't should have been obvious, but just this once Espio went ahead and voiced as much. "I don't. At all."
"Then I will not force it," Rose murmured. "And I encourage you to do that more in the future." After some time of thought, she decided to further explain herself. "Think about Armaris and how little she is able to decode from your emotions at times. She does not know when it is okay to press for information and when she should back down and leave the matter alone. Doing this prevents either of you from being hurt, and could save you much trouble."
To admit that he had never really thought about that when dealing with anyone (much less Armaris) would be to admit that he had been foolish. All Espio relented was a small shrug on the outside, though he did give Rose's words plenty of thought. I suppose… the idea has merit.
Rose nodded, and her smile returned. "You have beautiful children, Espio," she murmured. Yet again, Espio found himself at a loss. He didn't know how to react to that, much less what he was supposed to say in reply, so in the end he just resorted to giving a small nod. Something soft, akin to a laugh, escaped the woman. "I appreciate the attention you have given them. They love you dearly, that much I know. It reminds me of… my ancient wish to have a child of my own."
Hearing this, Espio thought for a moment before giving in to curiosity and hesitantly asking, "Why did you not?" He had no idea whether or not this was a bad thing to ask, truly. For a chameleon, it wouldn't matter, but with any other race… he didn't know. That was a touch… concerning, he supposed.
The cat seemed to truly ponder over this and how to answer the question. "To say the timing was inopportune would be to tell very little of the truth. I was a… 'one woman army', as I once heard an ally put it. I lived alone and fought alone much of the time, and the only man who had ever taken my heart was long gone. Or, so I thought," she answered, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Only recently did I discover that he has remained alive, and even since then we have hardly been able to see each other. My mission is here, and his is among the other Gods and Goddesses. That is all." Her tone never deviated from the softness it usually bore, despite the level of emotion this would usually evoke in someone.
The thought, I shouldn't have asked, immediately crossed Espio's mind. Deciding it was for the best not to question the matter further, he opted for another small nod in reply.
Rose smiled to him. "Now that you brought it up, I may further consider the idea in the future. I do not wish to intentionally give birth to a child in the midst of this war, but perhaps after we have one I can rest and have my own family."
"...Perhaps," was the noncommittal response.
"Do you intend to potentially have more children, Espio?" Rose questioned lightly. "I know your kind is not… the most capable in that regard, but Armaris should be far more able than many."
That wasn't surprising to hear, given that half of her heritage was demonic and nature. He had just refused to bring it up to Armaris at any point for confirmation, though he had suspected as much for some time. And then there was the case of him. For chameleon standards, he had had two children very quickly. Which meant that normal difficulties one would have starting a family (when one was chameleon) apparently… didn't apply. That could prove… interesting. "I never intended to have any to begin with," he found himself quietly admitting. "For most of my kind, the chances of having these two as easily as it happened is… nonexistent. It wasn't a concern of mine."
"Speak to Armaris about this. Seeing as your thoughts did stray to her, you seem to think that she would be… suitable for such a thing in your life." A knowing smile spread across her face as she spoke. "Just understand that whenever you speak with her on this, you need to be as forthcoming as you can manage. I am sure that you will be surprised, or perhaps you will not."
Cryptic… just like her. Brushing that thought aside, Espio once again just shrugged. Admitting what he had had been hard enough. He hadn't taken the time to consider replies following said admission. As such, he didn't know what to do.
Rose nodded softly. "All will be okay if you talk to her on the matter. I happen to believe that you two could make a fine family, especially if you consider the motherly charm she possesses. An unusual one, I will admit, but it is present."
"Charm?" Espio repeated dryly. Try violent… and overly-enthusiastic at times.
"She has a long history and much of her attitude is an attempt to protect her fragile emotional stability," Rose suddenly revealed. "I have seen how she responds to things when nobody is looking and heard of her from those who she lives among. If you ever wish to know more about her… say so. I will always give you information you require to understand the one you love." Espio inclined his head in acknowledgement, though he wasn't sure he'd ever take her up on the offer. Rose decided to speak further on this matter, a soft frown on her face. "Armaris is a gentle creature and I firmly believe she would be far better off if she had never gone off on her own as a child. She made some choices that left her in… dangerous situations. Try your best to be sweet to her and care for her, however that may come to be. I will further offer my support if you attempt these endeavors."
…"Sweet"? That thought was doomed to be quickly ignored. Espio just shrugged for the umpteenth time. Sako busied himself with waving one of his tiny hands in the direction of more snowflakes that he couldn't reach.
"Do you have any ideas as to what you wish to do in the future?" Rose questioned gently.
He really didn't. To be perfectly honest, he never had. "No." He decided not to add that he'd never really thought about his future too much. Most of his life he'd spent just living in the moment, deciding where to go and what to do on a whim. These days, that seemed like less and less of a good idea… especially now, when he had not one but two children to think about.
"You will figure it out in due time," Rose murmured ever so gently. "I am sure you will make a choice that is befitting of yourself."
Somehow, he doubted that he would, at this rate. Every choice feels wrong… even when people around me believe otherwise.
"Something on your mind?" Rose questioned softly, a small smile on her face.
Espio took a bit of time to consider how he wanted to reply. It didn't take too long for him to settle on one of his usual methods of deflection: denial. "It's nothing."
"Espio," she murmured gently. "You do not have to avoid your emotions with me. I would like to help."
Immediately, he frowned at her. "I am not avoiding anything."
"Deflection is a method of avoidance," Rose said softly.
That was probably true. Espio didn't like it, though. He also didn't want to admit to it, necessarily. "And if it is?" he muttered, looking away.
"As I have said, I will not pressure you or force you to speak on something," the cat answered, smiling to Espio. "But I would highly appreciate you speaking your mind with me."
Finally, Espio managed to admit, "I do not want to."
"I will respect that wish," Rose murmured softly. "However, I do ask that you accept a gift from me."
Espio immediately regarded her with wariness. In these last few centuries of his life, gifts of any kind had always had ulterior motives behind them, colored by darker meanings he'd often been unaware of. The chances of that being the case here were slim, but even so… I do not like this.
"I do not mind repeating myself. I will not force you to do anything. If you do not wish to accept it, I will gladly wait for a time that you are, if such a time ever does come," Rose answered, a gentler tone somehow managing it's way into her voice. Espio only watched her now, not having any comments to make. Since he hadn't given her a clear answer, the woman simply teleported her gift into her hand. "I created this crystal and filled it with Light with you in mind. If you wear it, I believe that it may thoroughly help combat some of the effect your Darkness has on you. However… I only want you to accept it if you are comfortable with the idea."
Opening his hand, Espio eyed the crystal. It wasn't hurting him in any fashion, nor was it reacting to his son at all. Both good signs. But did that mean he liked the idea of keeping this thing on him at all times? For once, he didn't have an immediate, clear answer. So, if only to prevent this matter from dragging out, he told the full truth. "I will… consider it."
"That is all I could ever ask of you," Rose admitted gently. "If I may ask, are you… comfortable around me? Simply regarding talking. I do not expect you to trust me greatly as we do not know each other well."
Yet again, Espio had no real answer. "I don't know."
"Do you find my presence… calming in any way?" He shrugged for the millionth time, at least, that day. "Let me propose a compromise, you take this and store it away somewhere. If you do not wish to keep it, you are free to destroy it and I will never bring it up. If you wish to keep it, you may do so. Does that sound agreeable?"
He supposed it did. "...Fine."
Rose held it out for him, molding the form of the crystal to make it wearable as a bracelet. "Thank you, Espio. And many thanks for your honesty today. I am glad that you were willing to speak your mind as much as you did, and I hope to become better friends with you as time progresses." With that, she left… leaving him alone to ponder his thoughts.
In his arms, Sako made a squealing sound of joy as, finally, he managed to catch one tiny snowflake.
~保護者~
It was late in the afternoon on the same day as Rose's conversation with Espio. She was quietly reading in some remote area of the village she'd taken temporary residence in. It had been so many years since she'd felt as relaxed as she was now. Perhaps since around the time where Jet had wiped out the Therians. Maybe longer, maybe some span of time shorter. She no longer knew, as the years had slowly melded together in a long, messy bloodbath that there was no way she could have escaped. Perhaps she could, but her involvement was solidified through her nature.
Rose wasn't able to continue this train of thought as a hand gently laid itself on her shoulder. She recognized this touch anywhere, and knew who it was. A kind smile met another of the same nature and the cats sat quietly together. The male's head rested on the female's and they were content to sit this way for some time. Enjoying each other's company was all they cared about in this moment. It was all they needed.
~保護者~
"It is disgusting, and you will not be changing my mind," Shadow mumbled, moderately annoyed to be at the losing end of this random bit of bickering. He sat with Toru and Espio at the dining table in his home for what was supposed to be a fairly pleasant day, just drinking and talking. They were thirty-four days into this bit of peace, after all, and Shadow and Espio had hardly seen each other for the duration of that time. It wasn't shameful to admit that he had sort of perhaps missed spending time with his friend, so he did… albeit only internally.
Espio shook his head. "Evidently, your taste in drink needs refining," he quipped. "And you were the one who agreed to try it, regardless."
"You could have warned me that it was bitter."
"It is more sweet than bitter."
"You miss the point."
"No. I am ignoring it."
Shadow huffed at him and gestured idly at Toru with a hand. "You deal with him." With that said, he took a sip from one of his own bottles to rid himself of the taste of the one he didn't like.
Toru waved him off. "Nah, far from my problem," he answered, a smirk on his face. "Besides, you did agree to try." Shadow huffed slightly, barely refraining from rolling his eyes at the pair.
Espio spoke up again. "Regardless, I assumed that a sweet drink would be… 'up your alley'. Given your opinion on chocolate."
Immediately, Shadow reached over and flicked his shoulder. "Shut it."
The onyx-colored chameleon laughed easily. "Man, I'm kinda glad to see that you two are friends. Makes my life a hell of a lot easier."
"And what, pray tell, do you mean by that?" Shadow found himself asking as Espio tossed a bottle into the trash can on the other side of the room. Somehow, he didn't break it, or even crack it so far as Shadow's ears could tell. Show off.
"I don't have to introduce you to each other or hope you don't somehow try to tear each other to pieces," Toru answered with an amused smile.
Despite suddenly feeling overly annoyed at this point by the idea that they'd even attempt harming one another at any point, Shadow kept his feelings hidden (and a lot more successfully than usual, too) as he replied, "I suppose."
"Anyway, I'm just glad. It really makes me happy that the two people that I keep close that aren't related to me get along," Toru said softly. "It's nice."
"Do not be so happy about it," Espio mildly teased, "or we may quit just to spite you."
Toru shrugged. "You'd never get away with it."
"I disagree," Espio replied, opening another bottle. Shadow felt the sudden urge to roll his eyes and thus did so.
"I don't see either of you just suddenly not being friends," Toru answered with a faint shrug.
"Perhaps not," Espio agreed. When he noticed Shadow seemed unable to decide which drink to try next, he subtly suggested one by scooting it closer. Shadow silently accepted that and poured a glass.
Toru glanced to Shadow. "So, let me ask you something. How are you feeling lately?"
Pulled abruptly from his thoughts, Shadow blinked at him. All previous annoyance promptly vanished from him. "I'm fine," he answered, not even thinking about it. Then he thought to ask, "...Why?"
"You've been acting a bit weird, and I'm just a bit worried about it. Might just be me, though," Toru murmured.
Shadow blinked again. "I'm fine," he reiterated, having no idea what Toru was talking about. Espio watched them in silence.
Toru shrugged. "Alright. I'll believe you, then."
~保護者~
It was the thirty-sixth day of peacetime. Eila sat with Cyril in her home and worked diligently on her notes while speaking about Rouge. Cyril was clearly very pleased with hearing that Eila had made a new friend, but perhaps not as pleased as Eila herself was. The two engaged in pleasant conversation for some time after that, the man somehow able to keep her talking despite how focused she was.
"Eila, what are you even working on over there?" Cyril questioned, burning curiosity in his eyes. "I've just got to know."
"None of your business, Cyril," she huffed. "In fact, I'd prefer you not ask about it."
Cyril waved his hands placatingly. "Alright, alright. Then, how about this. Let's get out of this house, me and you. Lunch date."
The cat raised an eyebrow at him incredulously. "Is that your best attempt at getting me out of here?"
"Yes?" Cyril asked, questioning himself somewhat. "I dunno. I guess."
Eila seemed to debate over this for quite some time before shrugging. "Ah, fuck it. Why not." She stood up and flicked Cyril's shoulder lightly. "Come on, get moving already. You got me curious after all."
Cyril laughed easily and grabbed one of his metal cards and tossed it at the ground, opening up a portal that dropped them into a city he was familiar with. He then led the way to one of his favorite restaurants and the two had a lovely time together. Chatting, eating, even a tiny bit of romance. For the both of them, it was a great time.
For one of them, it felt like it would be the last.
~保護者~
Forty days had passed. Jet was pacing a bit in his room, massaging his temples in an effort to help stave off the building headache he was once again suffering. "Just shut up already," he muttered. "I'm not interested, and I have things to do." A response was given that only he could hear, but he shot it down without hesitation. "Oh, piss off."
A knock on his door startled him out of his thoughts. He lowered his arms and turned toward the doors just in time to see one of them crack open. A second later, Lucas poked his head in. "Daddy?" he yawned.
Seeing his son, Jet managed a smile and walked over to him. "Hey," he greeted quietly. He scooped the child up and held him close. Snuggling up right away, Lucas gave into another yawn. "It's early. Why are you up?"
"Dunno," Lucas mumbled. "Just wanted you."
If that wasn't a heart-melting admission, Jet didn't know what was. He crossed the room to his bed and sat down with Lucas still in his arms. "Go back to sleep if you can," he murmured. "I'll stay with you."
"Okay." Lucas laid his head on Jet's shoulder and closed his tired eyes. Within moments, he was out cold. The sheer happiness of this moment was more than enough to banish that dark Voice from Jet's mind for now. He wanted nothing more than to savor it… so savor it he did.
~保護者~
As per usual, Marthal was out in the woods surrounding Tails's house. It was forty-three days into the peace time, and he had found himself spending less and less time with the others as the weeks wore on. He'd been feeling… off for some time. Among other things, he'd been feeling angry, on edge, tense, and so on. He didn't understand it, nor did he like it. It was getting to the point where he didn't fully trust himself not to snap at someone. Hence him being deeper in the woods right now than he previously would have been. Though, he wasn't quite as alone as he'd have liked.
It's just Rouge, he reminded himself for at least the third time. Doing his best to quash his unexplained aggravation, he kept trying to talk sense to himself. She can't sense that I'm here, and even if she could she'd have no reason to bother me. She's not even that close. She'll keep her distance, and I'll keep mine. Settling down in the grass beneath a tree, he closed his eyes and just tried to sleep.
Sure enough, elsewhere, Rouge very much did keep her distance. As he'd figured, though, she had no idea he was out there at all. As a result, her staying put had nothing to do with him. She was instead sitting on a medium-sized rock, offering a small smile to Eila. "Took you long enough to come back for a visit," she lightly teased.
Eila smiled a little in return, chuckling weakly. "I… I'm just not always in the best place, so it makes it kinda hard to get out and do things in certain places."
"I understand," Rouge replied. "Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're here now."
The cat's smile continued and she sat down in the grass. "Was there… something you were wanting to do?"
"Well, I wouldn't mind getting to know you more," Rouge answered. "I'm more than willing to return the favor, too."
"Well… I suppose that couldn't hurt," Eila murmured. Something about revealing any information regarding herself felt so dangerous. Maybe it was and she should just listen to that instinct, but this felt so… nice.
Rouge noticed some of her hesitance. "Uh don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. If any question makes you uncomfortable or anything of the sort, just say so." She smiled again. "I'll be doing my best to keep things pretty simple for now, though, regardless. Such as, say, figuring out what your favorite hobbies are, what foods you like… basic chatter."
Eila chuckled faintly, nodding. "Well, er… there's a chance I may not be able to answer some of the simple ones, but I'll do my best." She realized now that her life was… bland overall. She didn't do anything with herself.
"How about this, then," Rouge suggested. "You can come up with the first questions, that way you can have some time to think of your answers."
"Well… I…" Eila was at a loss, unsure of what to say. Social situations were not something she was good at, and nothing in her life had prepared her for them.
"Are you curious about anything at all regarding me?" Rouge offered. "I'm an open book right now, basically."
Eila rubbed her arm apprehensively before speaking. "So… er, what's something you like to do for fun?"
Rouge tapped her chin. "I've always loved treasure hunting… especially when I know rare jewels are involved. But I enjoy history as well, and I used to love scouring ruins and the like for both treasure and knowledge when I could."
"That sounds… fun," Eila murmured, unsure of how to respond. This made little sense to her, but that was probably because she had gone so long without… anything truly pleasant.
"It always was," Rouge agreed. "Now, what about you? Have any fun activities you enjoy?"
"I suppose I enjoy writing and reading?" Eila answered. "I spent… quite a long time doing so, and even now I find myself documenting things for… future purposes."
"Reading is a great activity," Rouge smiled. There was true warmth in her face now. "As a kid, given how I spent most of my time, I never had time to read much. Not unless it somehow pertained to my quest for valuables to acquire. But, when I got older and found myself as part of a family… well, that changed. My father-in-law always had a special place in his heart for books. Guess he rubbed off on me."
"I assume he is an intelligent man?" Eila questioned softly.
"Very," Rouge nodded. "He's very well-rounded, too. There are plenty of areas where I would consider him an expert, or at least close to one."
Eila nodded slowly with a gentle smile. "I would not mind meeting him sometime." After a moment she suddenly realized that this could twist around quickly and she corrected, "I- that is if, he's… you know…" Her gaze shifted down as she berated herself for the idiotic statement.
"Hey, don't worry about it," Rouge told her soothingly. "You don't have to meet anyone if you don't want to, alright?"
"N-no, I would like to, I just meant… if… he's alive…" Eila murmured weakly, shrinking away somewhat. "I'm sorry… I'm no good at this…"
"Oh," Rouge breathed, now understanding the issue at hand. "Yes, sweetie. He's alive. That's not an issue."
Eila laughed nervously, trying to relax herself. "That's good. I mean, of course that's good-" She put a hand to her head, wincing faintly. "I worked myself up again…" Petry shut the fuck up.
"We can stop with the questions now, if you want," Rouge offered, trying to help Eila calm down.
"No, no, that's not the problem," Eila murmured. "It's just me worrying myself too much. I'd… really like to continue talking like this."
Another smile. "Okay," Rouge agreed. "I'm fine with trying, too. Just don't push yourself too hard, alright?"
Eila nodded gently, ignoring the mental argument slowly turning warfare in favor of something… nice for a change. For once, outside of her sister and Cyril, she could say that she was really enjoying someone's company.
For once, she felt truly happy.
~保護者~
By now, fourty-four days had passed. Rose sat alone in the remote vastness of space. Her gaze was distant as she pondered many things. Her past, who she was, the ideals and the morals she carried.
The strongest thing in her mind, however, was the conversation she'd had with Analia some time after speaking to her alongside Steam. Analia had asked for her to come back sometime soon so they could have a talk, and she'd more than willingly obliged. After all, Analia was a role model to her.
She never could have expected what they would be talking about.
Sure, she had noticed over the years that she had slowly grown to be a touch less merciful to her enemies, but… Rose never intended for that to be the case. She cared for all life, but those who would take it away from others for no purpose other than to do so were people she carried disdain for.
Rose supposed that was the issue, or at least a part of it. The many wars she'd taken part in had shaped her, scarred her. She was not the same, naive child that left home after her sister had become corrupted.
Though, to say that she was very different would be a lie. She still retained many of her desires. Her ancient dreams. The love for the worlds and the hope for peace. A future where life was balanced.
She couldn't help but ask herself what she'd become. She didn't regret her choices, but she also wasn't pleased with them. Where in her life had she decided to care less for her enemies? Did not every life deserve it's chance to live, despite the mistakes they might have made?
Maybe this was the answer. For a time, she'd been forced to adopt a manner of life that required her to kill or be killed, and she had let that change her.
Perhaps this was also the time where she should re-evaluate her life goals. She had spent the vast majority of her life chasing down her sister, and now… she had Eila back in her life. What was she living for now? Sure, she had come to Sonic and the others out of a request from Locke, but that alone didn't constitute a goal in life. Though… it could play into one.
Rose produced a notebook and a pen, flipping it open and gently scribing a sentence.
"Be the future you wish to see."
~保護者~
Seated upon the roots of one of the massive trees within his village, Espio watched as his father and daughter played with one another up ahead. His father had always been surprisingly playful, despite his reserved demeanor, a fact that Espio remembered well from his own childhood. Shei had always been willing to play chase, hide and seek, and various other games that chameleon children often played for the sake of building their skills. It hadn't just been training back then, though. Espio had always had… fun.
The memories, as well as the sight of Zei smiling and giggling as she ran off to go hide again, did little to brighten Espio's mood. He took a peanut out of the small pile in his left hand and ate it, as his mother had replenished his store of them and they were his favorite snack by far. That, too, only barely helped. Even the sight of Sako crawling around in the grass right in front of him, clearly perplexed by the grass and unsure what to make of it, did virtually nothing to give him any positive emotions. Nothing and no one was making a difference. And it felt like it was slowly getting worse.
If Rose was right and the Faein themselves truly had been the ones to eradicate his father's apparent mother for reasons unknown, heal his eye, and settle his Darkness, then it seemed the effects of their help had only been temporary. That is, in regards to that last part, anyway. He wasn't sure what to do about it, either. The advice he'd gotten for this sort of thing in the past wasn't working. He was trying to adhere to it, but to no avail.
As much as he wanted to just leave again, he was staying around his family and few friends. He'd done his very best to open up about his negative emotions and thoughts the few times he'd been directly asked, or at the very least write about them when he had the time. He'd even tried using his own methods to handle this, such as meditation and sparring and taking walks. What else was he supposed to do? He was out of ideas, and he was starting to run out of motivation as well. Too large a part of him wanted to just stop fighting it again and let it all happen. And yet…
Steam's warnings echoed in his mind.
To think he could become just like Kaden, perhaps overtake him, or even somehow become worse than him… Surely, he couldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't let himself kill the people who mattered to him. He couldn't let himself get to the point where he didn't care if he did hurt them. He couldn't let himself follow the path that his grandparents, Nyokae, Kaden, Zareil, and who knew who else had tried so hard to lay out for him. He just couldn't…
Could he?
For better or for worse, his thoughts were interrupted. Sako made a noise, something akin to a whine, and did his best to reach for Espio's peanut-filled hand. Huffing, Espio took a peanut and let the baby take it. Chameleon babies were more than capable of eating such foods, albeit not constantly, but even so he made sure to watch his son carefully for any signs of choking. When it was clear that Sako had eaten it just fine and was ready to go explore again, Espio turned his attention to other matters. Namely, the fact that he could sense Kial approaching.
He hadn't seen the bobcat in… a while. Actually, he wasn't sure how long it had been. Thinking back, he was pretty sure that the last time the two had talked was back when they'd talked in the woods and he'd invited his friend over to his home. They'd spent some time there together, and hadn't interacted since. That had happened shortly before this impromptu peacetime had started forty-seven days ago.
Actually, no. He realized, as he sat there thinking about the matter, that he'd been initially incorrect. He had seen Kial since the start of this peacetime, but it had been very early in. It had just felt like longer, since so much had been going on since then. But the fact remained that, either way, they hadn't seen each other in quite a bit over a month. Which, naturally, led him to wonder, Why is he coming here now?
Kial continued his approach until he was a short distance away from Espio. He smiled in the chameleon's direction faintly, chuckling. "Been a while, eh?"
"It has," Espio acknowledged before eating another peanut.
"Being someone that people think is important is taxing," Kial revealed with a chuckle. "I come back and all of a sudden people want my attention. It's… weird."
"I suppose it would be," Espio murmured. "You and I were not so different, in the past. We typically kept to ourselves."
Kial nodded softly. "I still do, to a degree. I just don't have the privacy nor the ability to simply be on my lonesome with how important my arrival was to Cere and the others. Not that I mind, however. I'm getting to help protect the planet and people I care about." He gave an idle yet still blind glance back from the way he'd come followed by a smile. "It's nice to see her again," he murmured before turning his attention back to Espio. "And you as well."
Somehow, Espio's negativity finally began to ebb away to some degree. "It is good to see you as well," he admitted.
The cat smiled a great deal, much like the smiles he would have given when he was younger. "So, what have you been up to? Any interesting stories to tell?"
"Nothing especially interesting," Espio responded. Almost as if to disagree, Sako made a small noise of complaint while crawling around. It soon turned out that he just wanted another peanut, however, so Espio relented and handed one over.
Kial nodded slowly before smiling. "I'm glad I got to meet your family for a short bit. They seem like really lovely people."
When no one was being moody, Espio supposed that was true. He didn't have much to think about what he wanted to say out loud in reply, though. Sako decided to interrupt by suddenly making a beeline for Kial and climbing up the man's arm. Espio immediately stood to collect him with a sigh. "Sako…"
The cat laughed openly, seeming more amused than anything. "It's fine. If he wants to climb around, I don't mind. I'm mostly unbothered by any pain at this point." Espio debated for a second before slowly sitting back down. Letting his infant around anyone outside of his family left him feeling surprisingly antsy, and he wasn't sure what to make of the emotion - much less what to do about it. Almost as if he'd picked up on this, Kial said, "That's up to you. I'm not gonna say you have to let him, but that if you did, it would be fine. Just do what's comfortable, alright?"
"...It's fine," Espio finally said. He is safe, he reminded himself. Kial will not harm him.
Kial smiled to Espio before asking a gentle, truly concerned question. "Something bothering you? You've got that… air about you."
Explaining instincts that he barely understood didn't sound ideal, but Espio supposed he didn't have much other choice. "Chameleons are driven to protect their children from anything and everything, due to the environments that we have always lived in," he soon said. "It is difficult to ignore that instinct, at times."
"I wasn't talking about that," Kial said with a faint shrug. "I expected as much, coming from someone like you. You're bound to actually care about your children and their safety, even beyond just instinct." After a moment, he sighed. "I meant with you in a general sense. You're… not doing too great, as far as I can tell. That could just be me grabbing at straws, but I can't ignore my friend if I think he's upset or something."
Espio figuratively and literally shrugged Kial's concerns off. "It is nothing." Not as of now, at any rate. There was no denying that things couldn't or wouldn't build up into a "something" soon if he wasn't careful, but for the time being… Well, at least he wasn't technically lying.
"What was it like, growing up in the highlands?" Kial suddenly questioned, turning his attention somewhere else. "This area feels… amazing. Beautiful, even, if that's a word someone would use to describe it."
Actually, Espio didn't have a good answer to that. "To me it is just… normal. Everything beyond these lands is not."
"That's a good answer," Kial murmured. "There's no real way to perfectly describe your way of life, no matter how long you've been in it. You did a damn good job, though."
Tossing his old friend a look, Espio gave in and inquired, "What are you talking about? You are becoming philosophical again."
"Ah, a bad habit of mine." The bobcat removed his staff from the cloak he so often wore and kept a tight grip on it. "If you remember what I've said about my childhood, which I wouldn't blame you for forgetting, that's the kind of answer I'd give. It was normal to me, and for you, life here was normal. I just thought it was a good answer to a hard question."
In fact, Espio didn't remember. He chose not to mention that for several reasons, one being the mere fact of why he had lost those memories alongside countless others. Instead, he focused on the rest of what Kial had said. "I suppose."
Kial, sure that Sako wasn't on his back, laid down in the grass and sighed gently in contentment. "I like this area. It feels really relaxing to me, but that idea brings a question to mind. Where do you go to relax?"
"Me specifically, or people in this area in general?" Espio asked in return. Sako crawled off of Kial and started trying to make his way up the nearest tree, at which point Espio went ahead and retrieved the boy.
"You in particular," Kial responded.
Espio thought about that for a time. "You recall that we forage for our food, yes?"
"I do," Kial answered. "I assume it's related to that?"
"Father used to take me fishing with him on the lakes," Espio said. "I still go out in the same canoe, sometimes. Though, most of its parts have long since been replaced."
The bobcat's smile grew. "How about we go fishing together later? Me and you, or whoever you wanna bring. We bring back what we catch and just have a nice dinner and be friends again."
That actually did sound nice. Nice enough that Espio had no intention of refusing. "We did not stop being friends," he found himself pointing out, already working out the quickest way to repair the mild damage left to his rods from the last storm they'd weathered.
"We better not have," Kial answered. "Or I'll have to prove to you that we're friends. Maybe by catching more fish than you."
Rolling his eyes for all the good that did, Espio threw a small pebble at Kial and leaned back against the tree trunk. "Dumbass."
"You're on, then." Kial's grin was unmistakable.
"Prepare to lose."
~保護者~
Forty-nine days had passed. Shadow stood out on the balcony attached to his bedroom, feeling furious and smoking at least his third cigarette of the night. It was late, but he found he had no desire to sleep or otherwise rest. He was too busy thinking. At this point, he felt certain that he knew what was going on. However, he also felt that he was borderline past the point of caring. It would be just great if other people would stop caring, too. Toru, specifically. More than once, Shadow had felt a nearly overwhelming urge to shoot the chameleon just to get rid of him and his fucking concern.
Part of him hated that that was true, thus leading him to have spent most of the last week out of the house and away from people. The rest of him, however, was starting to feel a lot of hatred toward Toru himself. And Sonic. And Tails. And just everyone, really. There was no way he could allow that to continue, but nothing he did seemed to negate the emotion. Nothing they did helped, either. Maybe it was better that he not let them try anymore, for their own sakes. As it was, he was still just itching to hurt someone, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep a lid on that urge.
Fucking bullshit. All of it. Flicking the remnants of his used up cigarette away without a care, he pulled out another. It was with no small amount of added irritation that he realized it was the last one he had on-hand. As if he needed more reasons to feel irrationally angry. But, for now, he just used a tiny flame on his finger to light it, burned the box until it was little more than ash in the breeze, and resumed leaning on the balcony.
As he stood there, thinking, a thought occurred to him. Would it really be such a bad idea to go join his father? He had spent so much time ignoring the offer he could feel being extended to him that he hadn't actually stopped to really consider one important thing. Did he want to go? The more he thought about it, the more that he felt like the answer was a "yes". And he had just about let himself truly settle on that decision, too, when he heard his bedroom door open. He didn't have to look behind him to know who was there. Just fuck off already.
"Shadow, you alright?" Toru questioned softly. "You've been acting really, really odd lately."
Doing his best to keep a lid on everything he was feeling, Shadow let out a breath and just said, "I'm fine."
I doubt that, and I don't appreciate you hiding the truth. "If something is bothering you, you don't have to avoid talking about it," Toru said.
"Nothing is bothering me," Shadow muttered. "Just drop it."
"I care about you, Shadow," Toru murmured. "It's hard to just 'drop' something when it concerns you."
It doesn't concern you. Shadow bit his tongue (albeit not literally) for a second to avoid letting himself say that. "I don't need your concern," he found himself saying irritably instead. That was hardly any better than the first thought he'd had, but he promptly stopped giving a damn.
"It's not about needing my concern, it's about me caring about you," Toru countered.
"I don't care," Shadow countered right back, heavy venom starting to enter his tone. He took a couple semi-deep breaths in an effort to calm himself.
"Well, I do," Toru stated, making a calculated effort to keep his own emotion under control so that he didn't exacerbate the situation.
"You shouldn't," was the muttered reply. Much of the heat had left Shadow's tone for the moment, but only because he had forced it to. He'd been able to curb most of his emotions, but it would likely only prove to be a temporary fix.
Toru gritted his teeth. That sentence bothered him more than he was willing to immediately let on. "I'm going to, whether you like it or not."
Just like that, the agitation was back. Whatever part of him that had been preventing him from saying or doing anything too terrible weakened enough for him to borderline snap, "I don't like it."
Just like that, Toru winced and took a small step back. "I… I'm sorry. I can't help how I feel."
"Forget it." Barely resisting the urge to growl as he spoke, Shadow jumped down off the balcony to the ground below and soon disappeared.
"...I can't," Toru whispered softly, disappearing as well.
~保護者~
8,417 words this time. Many thanks as always to Blazing Winds for all of his help and support. Posted (at about 10:50 p.m.) 11-17-20.