So this has been an incredibly productive week, lovelies! I got so much more done than I had initially planned, and I'm so happy about it. I also made some new friends this week and that has been fantastic for my inspiration. Also more reviews, yay! So good things all around these days! :D
As always my lovelies, go ahead and enjoy this chapter and don't forget to toss me a little review, to let me know what you think~ ;)
P.S. All Attack on Titan characters belongs to Isayama Hajime. I only own my OCs.
28. Truth of the world
~ 850 ~
"Beast... Cartman... you're needed at home to threaten enemy nations."
The echoing voice brought Erwin back to awareness with a gasp and he was left to stare in stunned, silent confusion at the scene before him.
'What... this doesn't look like... my father's classroom...' he pondered, looking to the children seated next to him in front of an older man wearing an unfamiliar uniform.
Looking down he blinked upon realizing he was far shorter than he had expected, and that his hands reminded him of his child self.
"And so the plan to retake the Founder will be carried out by the Jaw, Armor, Colossus and Female Titans." the teacher went on, drawing his attention. "Marcel, Bertholdt, Annie, Reiner... we leave this to you."
So he hadn't been wrong – two of the others had instantly triggered a sense of familiarity in him. They couldn't have been any older than ten, twelve at the most... and now he found that Natalie's words resonated with him in a terrifyingly accurate manner. But the man had addressed him as Bertholdt...
'Are these his memories? Am I seeing this because I...?' he mused looking down at his hands again, unable to bring himself to finish the question.
Turning his eyes to the blackboard in an attempt at distracting himself from that thought, he examined the picture hanging there only to feel his eyes widening at the three concentric circles drawn onto it.
'Are those... our Walls...? Natalie... did she know about this?' he pondered, feeling dizzy for a moment when a thousand questions surfaced in his mind.
There was no mistaking it – those were the Walls; he could even see each district accurately located on the map.
'Where is this?!' he panicked for a moment, glancing around the room again but unable to see anything through the windows. 'Is this really outside the Walls? Was... was my father right all this time?!'
If he strained a bit he could hear distant voices echoing from somewhere far away, sounding like they were cheering for something. And then all of a sudden the scenery shifted around him and the sound hit him like a wall. He was standing next to something that resembled what his father had called 'ships'; huge barges that could accommodate hundreds of people. But he had never heard of one built entirely out of metal like that... how was it even floating?
Eventually his mind focused again on the cheering crowd gathered on the pier, just when Annie walked past him to board the ship. A few steps away Reiner was parting with his mother, and for the first time Erwin knew that he at last understood what Natalie must have felt, being forced to fight them. He was sure she had seen the same expressions on their faces; terrified, yet determined to fulfill their goal no matter what.
"Our chosen Eldian Warriors! Save us all from those island devils!"
In the chants of the crowd he joined the other three children on deck, all of them looking like lambs sent to the slaughter. And as he watched the pier fading into the horizon, the scenery changed yet again. It was now nighttime and he was out in the wilderness, huddled around a small campfire with the others who looked for all the world like they would have rather been anywhere else.
"I'm glad we didn't run into any Titans..." he heard himself saying as though someone else was using his body to speak, his voice small and frail. "But is the King of the Walls really not going to use the Founding Titan, even if the Walls are destroyed?"
"Why would you bring that up now, Bertholdt?" Reiner scolded him. "Believe in Marley's research!"
"Yeah..." Marcel replied, sounding just as defeated and empty of emotion. "There's no going back now... we're going to the Wall tomorrow and..."
"What is it? Wait... don't tell me you're feeling hesitant to kill those island devils!" Reiner frowned. "Have you forgotten what they did to Marley and us? These are descendants of devils who once trampled the world and turned it into a living hell! The world still lives in fear of them! And we're chosen Warriors, meant to judge them for their actions!"
=0=0=
With a gasp the fair haired Commander's eyes flew open and he was left to blink in confusion at the blue sky above.
"You're finally awake?" Levi questioned, prompting him to lower his gaze and find that he had been laid to rest near Natalie, under the young Captain's watchful eye. "You sure take a lot of time for your beauty sleep, don't you?"
Sitting up he went to answer only to find himself staring in awe at the right arm which had re-grown exactly as it had been before he'd lost it. Taking a moment to flex his fingers and touch his hand with the other, as if to make sure it was real, he at last seemed to recall what was going on and turned back to the Captain.
"I'm assuming it worked well, then?"
"Yeah... you turned into one of those big ass Titans and did what you did. Then you slept like a baby for the past two hours. Here..." Levi replied, reaching to his side to pick up Erwin's jacket and throw it back to him. "Sorry we couldn't save your shirt; you'll have to bear with it until we get home. At least you kept your damn pants on..."
Pulling the blanket aside and moving to his knees so he could put the jacket on, the Commander turned his eyes to Natalie who was looking much better by now. At least everything they could see down to where the blanket was covering her had healed, and if he strained his eyes a bit he could swear he even saw her hair growing back to its usual length.
"Erwiiin!" Hange called out, noticing that he was up and rushing over to check on him. "How are you feeling? Does it feel weird anywhere? Is everything still in place?"
At that they grabbed the Commander's right arm, examining it as though it was some new species.
"Oh-ooohhh... it's really grown back! Just like Eren's limbs..." they grinned, turning it on all sides.
"I'm alright, Hange—" Erwin replied, only to be promptly silenced again.
"Say, say!" the researcher interrupted him as lively as ever, though he could still hear the subtle strain beneath their words almost like they were forcing themselves to be their usually cheery self. "Can we test your transformation? I really want to see! Let's test it right now!"
"Hey, hey, hey, shit-for-brains..." Levi scolded them. "If he transforms, he'll blow us all to hell. Or did you forget what happened with that brat?"
"More importantly, if we're going to keep this as a secret weapon we can't exactly announce to everyone who got the Colossal's power." Erwin agreed. "We'll have to be very careful in selecting who will know about this outside of the Survey Corps. I'm afraid it won't be possible, Hange."
At last he noticed the kids watching them from a few steps away and gestured for them to approach.
"How are you feeling, Commander?" Eren inquired.
"As well as one can expect."
"So?" Levi chimed in. "Are we going to that basement, or are we going to camp here overnight?"
"Not until Natalie is up."
His response caught even the Captain off guard, prompting him to narrow his eyes.
"Why?"
"Because I require some answers from her first... about how much she actually knew all this time. How much she told you. Also I want her to be there with us; whatever we find may help trigger more memories for her, or at the very least make more sense of those jumbled images she hasn't yet been able to unravel."
"...Actually knew?" Mikasa inquired, sounding utterly confused.
"I suppose it's something that happens to each shifter, once they eat the previous host." Erwin concluded. "But I have seen some of Bertholdt's memories while I was unconscious. I would like to know if what I theorized based on that is something Natalie was aware of all this time, or not."
"Suppose she was... what then?" Levi inquired.
"While I cannot blame her for not knowing who she could trust, given everything we've been through, I do need to impose on her the seriousness of keeping vital information a secret." he replied after a long moment of silently staring the young Ackerman down.
To Levi, the man's gaze was more than clear. To this day he had yet to address the issue with them directly, but Erwin was aware both he and Natalie had been withholding information.
"Well, don't worry too much..." the Commander at last sighed. "It would look rather bad to everyone if I severely punished her after what she did here. I do wish she would have trusted me more, from the beginning... but I suppose I can't blame her too much for that."
~ oOo ~
She couldn't tell where she was, but it certainly didn't look like anywhere within the Walls. While the cobbled street and the building style might have been similar to those in Wall Sina, those odd contraptions moving on wheels were far from anything she would have been able to imagine. Vaguely she recalled her twin had mentioned they were called 'cars' and that they were a mode of land transportation found on the Continent, similar to a cart but with no need of horses.
"What? More devil-bloods? I don't get why they keep letting them leave the internment zone... filthy rats..."
The male voice coming from nearby drew her attention to the multitude of people she had yet to notice making their way along the busy road. There was a young couple, however, who looked poorly dressed compared to all the elegant citizens surrounding them, and were wearing a distinct band on their left arms; a nine-pointed yellow star on a plain, grayish-brown background.
"What I don't understand, is why the government won't just get rid of all of them." another one agreed. "It's not like there's any need to keep them around."
"Get out of here, filthy devils!" another voice rose from the crowd, all of a sudden a bottle flying at the young man.
Stirred into action by that, within moments all of those elegant people had turned into a pack of vicious animals, throwing everything they could get their hands on at the couple.
"They should send you all to paradise, already!"
"They should just burn all of you alive!"
At last she felt her body moving as if guided by some force other than her own will, pushing her way through the crowd to reach the couple. They had crouched low, the boy using his own body to try and defend the young girl he was with against the assault. Only when she reached out to grab his shoulder, did she realize her hand wasn't actually hers. Immediately a hush fell over the crowd and she looked down to notice the similar yet distinctly colored armband around her left arm. The same yellow star, this time surrounded by a deep crimson.
"What are you two doing here?" she heard herself speaking in Kasimir's voice, watching as she pulled the boy up by the scruff of his coat. "You were supposed to get back half an hour ago."
'Why... am I seeing this?' she pondered.
While she pulled the two to their feet and dragged them after her, Natalie felt the surge of hatred as she turned her head to glare at the crowd starting to disperse.
"I told you not to leave the walls. Ingrid, you really worried us... what were you thinking?!"
"I'm sorry, Kasimir... it was my fault." the boy replied in her stead. "I wanted to show her around town. I didn't know it would be so crowded this late in the day."
"Don't be upset with him." the girl at last spoke up in a soft, nigh inaudible voice; to Natalie's ears she sounded almost sickly. "It was my idea to begin with; I wanted to go see the airships."
Immediately she felt overcome with guilt and sorrow, and all too suddenly she realized she was no longer in the city but standing in the desert. Kasimir was only a few steps away, his back to her as he watched the distant pillar of light.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean for you to see that. I guess with her showing you everything she knew, and with me coming from that place... it resonated with me more than I expected."
At last he turned to face her and she saw the twitch in his brow as his eyes fell on her pained expression.
"That was your sister, wasn't it?" she whispered, realizing that part of his knowledge had seeped into her own memories.
"Yes... she was why I trained to become a Warrior. We needed better medicine for her that we couldn't get, unless we became honorary Marleyans. And that was only possible if one of us became a Warrior."
"What happened to you?"
At his confused frown, she heaved a sigh and tried her best to not look away awkwardly.
"The Beast Titan, he... I think he was talking about you. He said you killed yourself..."
"You piece-of-shit monkey..." the man muttered under his breath, before speaking again after a long silence. "It was all I could do. I gave them everything and yet they still let my sister die. The medicine they gave us wasn't the one she needed to get better, so she eventually succumbed to her illness shortly after that day you saw. It destroyed my parents to lose their daughter, and to now know that they could lose their son any day as well."
Turning his back to her again, he contemplated the light tree for a few moments before startling her when he continued.
"But more than even that, throughout my training I finally understood what it all meant; what it came down to. We weren't anything to them... even the dirt on their shoes was more important than us. All we were good for was to use in war as expendable soldiers, or to send to Paradis and use as Titans to terrorize the people within the Walls. Most of my friends failed to resist the brainwashing that we went through for months on end... and even I only did it because I held onto my hatred of Marley. For forcing me to become their puppet just so we could get treatment for my sister... and then for letting my sister die once I'd given them my entire life."
Once more he turned to face her and the blaze in his eyes nearly made her step back when he approached her, reaching to cup her cheek and trace his thumb along her skin.
"And it was only after I'd gotten this power that they told me I only had thirteen years of service, before I would die and my power would pass on to the next host they chose. That it's the same for all Titan shifters; 'The Curse of Ymir', they called it. So I did the only thing I could... I robbed them of this power, so they couldn't use it to kill any more innocent people!" he said, only afterwards his tone softening back into the calm one she knew him for. "With my last breath I cursed Marley and I asked Ymir that – if she really existed – she would give this power to someone who would use it for our people's sake. She couldn't have found a better person to receive it, and I can only be grateful that she chose you as the next vessel."
=0=0=
The last image her mind was left with was the young man leaning down to kiss her forehead, before she opened her eyes with a gasp to find nothing but blue sky in front of her.
'...What happened? I don't rememb—' she mused, only to reach up to her head when the Colossal Titan's face flashed through her mind, staring her down as he slowly scorched her.
All at once she recalled that the Scouts had still been fighting before she had blacked out, that Armin and Eren were trying to get the gate sealed, that she didn't know whether anyone else in the district had survived Bertholdt's transformation. Sitting up abruptly, she clenched her teeth at the dizzy spell that overtook her forcing her to grab her head. At the same time, in doing so she finally realized she was wearing a uniform that didn't belong to her, going by how loose fitting the clothes were.
Noticing Sasha lying next to her, seemingly unconscious, she both breathed in relief and leaned over to check the girl's wounds. At last she raised her gaze along the wall and released a quivering breath at the sight of the Survey Corps spread out further along the structure.
'It's over...' she smiled, feeling the knot of joyful tears clogging her throat.
A few meters away she spotted Mikasa climbing over the edge, followed within moments by Armin and Conny. Seeing that she was up, the brunette turned to look back down.
"Captain! She's awake!" she called out just moments before Hange and Levi made their way to the top.
'I wonder how pissed he is about it...' she mused, watching as he almost staggered through the first couple steps towards her, until he was all but running.
She fully expected a serious scolding from him for how reckless she had been, and she couldn't blame him. But then her thoughts left her when he fell upon her in a crushing embrace, and she felt him trembling as he held her.
"You're so stupid... so fucking stupid, you know that?" he berated her, despite sounding more relieved than she could recall ever hearing him.
Leaning back before she could gather her wits, he cupped her face and kissed her over and over even while scolding her.
"You're so stupid, Nat... you're such a huge idiot... why would you do that to me? Why?!"
Again he kissed her before pressing his lips to her forehead, to her cheek and ultimately pulling her back into his arms. He had promised himself that he wouldn't get emotional in front of everyone when she woke up. But now that he was actually seeing her awake; now that he heard her breathing next to his ear again; now that he felt her arms around him... he couldn't have held back for anything in the world.
"How are you feeling?"
Erwin's voice startled the redhead and when Levi leaned back she smiled up at the Commander, only for her humor to turn to horror when her eyes fell onto his right hand.
"I told you she wouldn't be happy about it." Levi scolded him while the man took a seat on the box placed near her and Sasha.
Turning her eyes to the young Captain when his words confirmed her fears, Natalie then looked back to Erwin with a pained stare that somewhat unsettled him. But Levi knew that look; it was the same one he'd seen on her when Kenny had suggested he could take the serum.
"Why...?" was all she could whisper, reaching up for her head upon recalling Kasimir's words to her before she had awakened.
All at once she realized her struggle to keep him alive had been for nothing; yes, she had saved Armin from a terrible fate... at the cost of dooming Erwin in his stead.
"Why...?" she whispered again, this time talking to herself rather than to them. "I tried so hard... I did everything I could... so why? Why is it always like this?"
In her words Levi had already read more than what she was saying on the surface, and his stomach twisted. If she was that distraught over it, it was more than clear that something was seriously wrong with their current situation.
'I knew it... I should've stopped him.' he berated himself. 'Fuck it all, I shouldn't have let him do this!'
If there was anyone there who could have found a way to stop Erwin from doing that, it was him; and yet he had just let all of her efforts go to waste.
"Let's just get to that basement." he at last said, turning his eyes to the Commander, his intuition telling him that that was a bad place and a bad moment for Erwin or anyone else to start questioning her. "You wanted to wait until she was awake... let's just get this done and get back to the barracks."
To his great relief Erwin seemed to understand his gaze, as he always did, leaving the man to nod and stand.
"Natalie, I'm afraid I'll have to ask that you join us to visit Eren's basement." he said, startling the young woman. "Perhaps whatever we will find there, will help you as well."
~ oOo ~
"Eren..." Mikasa called out as they looked around the small, stuffy basement. "There's a keyhole here."
Looking over to where the girl was kneeling behind the desk, Natalie at last followed Erwin and Armin inside. The already cramped room now felt stiflingly full with all of them gathered in there.
"It's empty?!" the boy gasped, opening the secret drawer.
"Look closer." Levi interrupted him before he could freak out. "It's a false bottom..."
"What are those?" Hange blinked when he pulled out the cover to reveal three books hidden away. "Journals? Let's see..."
Picking up the first one they examined it carefully in the dim flame of the lamp.
"They look to be in very good condition. Hmm... 'The Early Life of Grisha Jaeger'..." they read aloud from the cover, before setting it onto the desk and reaching for the other two books. "...'The Extent of Our Knowledge of Titans and Their History'...'Information About the World Beyond the Walls'... is that everything?"
"Yes." Eren nodded while Hange laid out the tomes next to each other.
Reaching for the first book, the boy turned it towards himself and gulped; just what in the world were they about to find out?
"We don't have all day, you know..." Levi chimed in, having walked around the desk to where Natalie was standing near the door; the air down there was far too stuffy for his liking. "Just get it over with."
Stepping closer to Eren, Mikasa nodded after placing her hand over his and together they at last opened the cover.
"What's that?" Hange questioned, blinking at the picture on the first page.
"Is it a painting?" Eren chimed in as the researcher picked it up.
"This looks far too detailed to be drawn by someone." Erwin at last spoke up, having silently examined the covers of the other books until then.
"There's a message on the back." Mikasa pointed out. "It looks like Dr. Jaeger's handwriting..."
"This is not an illustration..." Hange read aloud. "Instead, this uses light reflected off a subject and burns the image on special paper. It's called—"
"A photograph." Natalie finished their sentence. 'So you were right...'
Her twin had speculated recently that Grisha – if he truly had come from across the sea – had to have hidden in the basement information about the outside world; about the Continent and humanity's lifestyle there. And this time when Erwin looked over to her she no longer averted her gaze, only staring back at him apologetically.
"Get on with it, Hange... I want to get out of this dusty room already." Levi interjected, weighing a hand onto the redhead's shoulder, drawing her eyes to him and breaking the staring contest.
"A-ah right..." the researcher blinked, going back to finish reading the message. "I come from a place outside the Walls, where humanity lives in elegance. Humanity has not perished. I pray the person who finds this book is a fellow patriot."
Side-eyeing the glance Natalie and Levi exchanged at that information, the Commander decided to put off addressing the issue until he could have a private meeting with them both. Instead, he reached for the open book and turned it to him.
"It does look like a journal..." he stated, turning the page and skimming the contents. "It appears Grisha Jaeger was born and lived in a place called Liberio."
Thinking it over for a moment, he did his best to sift through his knowledge of places within the Walls, trying to discern whether what was written down was indeed true or not.
"Levi... does this name sound familiar to you at all?"
"...Huh?" the Captain retorted, looking utterly confused. "Do I look like I make maps?"
"I meant whether you've ever heard of this place, perhaps in the Underground? I'm afraid I'm not as knowledgeable about that area as you are."
"No, I haven't."
"I see..." the Commander nodded after a moment of scrutinizing his expression. "Hange... does it ring a bell with you?"
"Hmm... I don't think it sounds familiar at all. What about you guys?" the researcher replied, looking over to the three children.
"No, sorry..." Armin shook his head, Eren and Mikasa following suit. "Commander... why—?"
"I don't mean to disrespect Dr. Jaeger, I'm simply trying to make sure that he wasn't lying for whatever reason. Heaven knows we've been through so many lies to get to this point."
"I don't think my father would have lied about something like this." Eren replied. "I don't see what he would stand to gain from it. Or, if it had been a lie, why he would have so desperately wanted me to reach the basement and find these books."
Though he nodded silently, the Commander once again side-eyed the redhead to gauge her reaction, but her expression gave him nothing. She had never been a master at lying and he was certain he would have been able to tell if she'd heard a familiar name, so he concluded that indeed it seemed she had no idea of what that place was. By process of elimination then, it must have been some place outside the Walls. At that he lowered his eyes back to the book and skimmed further down the page, to find that Liberio was apparently 'across the sea'.
'Is that what I saw in Bertholdt's memories?' he pondered, reading Grisha's description of it and picturing the water stretching from the pier into the endless horizon.
"Anyway, we should return to the others and start making preparations to head back to Trost." he at last said, closing the book.
As much as his curiosity burned him, he still had a responsibility to get his soldiers back home. Gathering the three volumes he turned to the door and stepped back onto the staircase.
"Finally... I thought you were going to keep us in all this dust until tomorrow." Levi retorted, following him out and huffing a deep breath once they were back up on the street.
"Levi..." the Commander spoke up as they waited for the others to join them. "I would like to see you and Natalie in my office tonight, if you're not too tired. It seems to me like we have plenty of things to address."
"...Understood." he replied after a long silent stare up at the man. "I'll let her know."
~ oOo ~
"At this point, I suggest you just tell him everything. He'll learn it sooner or later from those books, I imagine..."
"Yeah..." the redhead nodded, following Levi that evening on their way to Erwin's office. "Just... how badly do you think he'll punish us?"
"Who knows? It's not like we don't deserve it, though."
"Well, I do at least..."
At that the young Ackerman glanced at her over his shoulder; of course she was going to try and take all the blame.
'You never learn, do you?' he mused with a measure of amusement, prior to turning his eyes to the office door and knocking.
Once they had entered and Levi had closed the door behind them, the Commander waited until they approached his desk.
"So... here we are." he began, speaking from behind his interlaced fingers. "While I understand what motivated both of you to do what you did, it still doesn't excuse your decision to withhold information from me. Especially this kind of sensitive information. I understand why Natalie wouldn't have trusted me, given that she didn't know me well. But you, Levi...? Even after I did all I could to keep Eren out of the hands of the Military Police, you still didn't trust me?"
"Trusting you had nothing to do with it. I..." the Captain retorted, hesitating for only a moment at that part before reaching out to plop a hand onto Natalie's head. "I'd already betrayed her trust once before. I didn't want to do it again."
Leaning back into his chair, Erwin took a moment to silently mull over things. In hindsight, so much of Natalie's knowledge now made so much sense. At the same time, he had to remind himself that both she and Levi had only ever worked towards the goal of helping humanity survive within the Walls. That while they hadn't trusted him, they had also never betrayed their people.
"Then at least be honest with me now..." he stated.
"I assume most of what I'll say you will find in Grisha's books, if I'm right about him." Natalie spoke up. "But I will tell you all I know, for all it's worth..."
"Let me judge its worth."
Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, the redhead recounted everything for the Commander. From the day she had survived what should have been her death, to all her meetings with her other self, to how she had eventually put her faith in Levi and taken the risk of showing him her transformation. She told him about everything her twin had shown her, from her fleeing the island, to the years she had roamed the Continent, to her being reunited with Levi and Hange, until her death at the young Captain's hands. She told him about Kasimir, about how he had warned her of the ambush at Shiganshina, about knowing that she had to keep both him and Armin alive through that fight, about meeting Ymir in the other world before she had woken up.
At first Erwin only watched her without a word in the silence that coated the room after she had finished talking. He would certainly try to match as much of what she had said to Grisha's books, as soon as Hange was done examining them.
"One week in the cells..." he at last spoke up. "Both of you."
He hated that he had to do it, but at the same time he had to at least try and stress to them that they had screwed up pretty badly.
"But, the Cap—" Natalie replied, her voice cut off when Levi covered her mouth with his hand.
"Understood, Erwin."
Sighing softly, the Commander gestured for him to release the young woman.
"Natalie, you can't always take full blame for everything." he scolded her. "I know you may think you're the one who dragged him into this, but in the end it was Levi's choice to not tell me about it; and you know that as well as he does. It's good to be selfless... but there's also a thin line between that and being foolish. Don't let people take advantage of your kindness; learn to set boundaries, because you'll never be able to bear the burdens of the entire world. Now... I'll have Arlert lock you up; he and Kirschtein will be the ones in charge of you until you're released."
At that he had the pair follow him to the empty mess hall where Armin was still chatting with the rest of their squad.
"Arlert... Kirschtein..." the Commander called out, prompting the boys to stand and salute him only to blink at the key ring placed in front of them on the table. "You'll be in charge of Levi and Natalie for the following week. You'll work in shifts to guard them until I allow you to release them."
"...Eh?" Armin gasped, turning his shocked stare from Erwin to the two standing behind him. "What... what is this about?"
"Due to certain circumstances, Natalie and Levi have earned themselves a week's stay in the cells. I'm entrusting you two with the task of guarding them for that duration."
"Wait-wait-wait a minute..." Jean blinked while the rest of the group gaped at Erwin. "What in the world happened, Commander?! Why do we have to lock up the Captain and Natalie?"
"Shut up and obey your orders." Levi interjected, silencing the boy.
"Wait, Levi..." Erwin replied. "They do have the right to know why their Captain is temporarily going to prison. However, this is a very sensitive matter and you are not allowed under any circumstance to discuss it with anyone else, for everyone's sake. Understood?"
Waiting until everyone had nodded in agreement, the Commander took a deep breath before speaking again.
"Both Levi and Natalie had been withholding information despite being aware of the situation beyond our Walls, since before you all joined the Survey Corps. That is what has earned them this punishment. That is all."
Without waiting for any more questions he left the two with the rest of their squad and made his way back to his office. He would have to ask Hange that they hurried up with those books, so he could start verifying what Natalie had told him that evening.
"What are you waiting for?" Levi goaded Armin on, as the boy stared blankly at the keys. "Hurry up and do what you were ordered to."
"Y-yes!" he gasped, grabbing the key ring and trying to swallow the knot in his throat.
Leading them down to the underground detention area, he opened two of the cells and stepped back waiting for them to give him their coats and harnesses, as protocol demanded.
"Make sure you don't wrinkle it." Levi narrowed his eyes, placing his folded coat in the boy's arms with the harness on top.
"Don't torture him, Captain..." Natalie chuckled, handing Armin her own attire pieces. "It's not his fault we're here."
"I'll... I'll have Jean put these in your rooms." he gulped, clearly uncomfortable and confused as to how he should have acted as a guard. "I'll be right back..."
"Hey... you planning to let us run away?" Levi called after him, gesturing to the open cell doors.
"A-ah, yes! I'm sorry..."
Hurrying back to close the barred doors and lock them, Natalie watched him as he all but ran down the corridor towards the staircase before at last heaving a sigh.
"Well, at least I get a week of not worrying about those brats." Levi commented, leaning against the wall between their cells until he was seated on the floor.
"I'm sorry... that you have to be here with me..."
"Idiot..." he retorted to her apology, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up to make himself as comfortable as he could. "It's not like I didn't earn this for myself. Otherwise I wouldn't have stopped you from trying to take the blame in front of Erwin."
At that he finally huffed, leaving Natalie to blink in awe at the sound of his resigned yet undeniably amused chuckle.
"Who would've thought, after all these years; after all the things I've stolen; all the people I've beaten, injured and killed... a woman would be what lands me in jail..."
Having seated herself next to the bars as well, pressing her shoulder to the cold stone, the redhead couldn't hold back a faint smile at his words. Leaning her head on the wall, as if trying to be as close to him as possible, even with the barrier separating them, she heaved a long sigh.
"Do you regret it?" she at last asked, as softly as she had on that night that now felt like so long ago.
"Anyone who regrets the best thing in their life is a fucking moron, who doesn't deserve to have it. And don't start crying over that, either..." he retorted, hearing that telltale tiny sniffle of hers followed by an involuntary laugh at his scolding. "In fact, now I have all the time in the world to get on your ass for how reckless you were on this mission."
~ oOo ~
It was the second night of their confinement, and Natalie was restless and unable to sleep. She had thought long and hard about what Kasimir had told her while she had been unconscious. And while she hadn't yet told anyone about it, she absolutely needed to at least let Levi know. It wouldn't have been fair at all to keep him in the dark. Sitting up with a long sigh, she got out of bed cringing at the tiny creaks of the wooden frame.
It must have been way past midnight, given that she could see Jean asleep on the chair at the end of the corridor – as it had been his turn to take that night shift.
"Can't sleep?" Levi inquired, startling her; of course, why had she expected that he wouldn't be awake?
"I... I need to tell you something..." she replied, and in the stretching silence could so vividly picture him perking up at her tone, his gaze sharpening in that familiar way that told her she had his undivided attention.
Sitting against the wall separating them, she sighed and lowered her gaze to the hands she had gathered on her lap.
"I didn't tell Erwin this... but Kasimir said something before I woke up. Something I only now had the time to think about, even if I don't want to believe it."
"Talk to me..." he said so gently that it shattered her heart.
"He said that..." she began, her voice dying off as she choked on her own words; doing her best to swallow her tears she forced herself to keep talking – he needed to know. "That after he got this power, he was told he only had thirteen years left to live; and then the power would go to the next chosen person. He said they called this the 'Curse of Ymir' and that all Titan shifters are bound to it. I just..."
Again her voice faded in her attempt to choke the sob which was struggling to escape her throat, leaving them in a silence heavier than any other she had experienced before. She never should have tried to get close to him; never should have let her feelings get the best of her; never should have sought a bond with him, just for it to hurt him even more now when he knew he would certainly lose it.
For Levi's part, he was utterly grateful that she couldn't see his shocked expression as his mind processed the meaning of her words. That she couldn't see the tears filling his eyes until they spilled down his cheeks; that she couldn't see him stuffing part of his scarf in his mouth and biting down on it, to mute the sobs that suddenly wracked his body like a purely subconscious reaction that she had triggered in him. Even before his mind had made the connection, he had started sobbing without any way to control it; he had instantly been taken back to his childhood days, instantly relived all the pain and fear, instantly pictured Natalie's gentle yet resigned smile before his mind overlapped it with his mother's expression.
"I love you... and I'm sorry..." she said tenderly, pressing her hand to the wall as if that would somehow comfort him. "I'm so sorry for everything..."
The moment he heard the surrender in her voice, horrifyingly identical to his mother's, it destroyed him. The same tone his mother had used when telling him that she was sick, once she had no longer been able to hide the illness from him. He knew it so well and sometimes still heard it in his nightmares. The same tone that said she was going to die, that there was nothing and no one who could save her from it...
That he couldn't save her from it!
Sooo today's replies for my lovely reviewers :D
1. MordredVisor - As always love, thank you so much for taking the time to leave feedback! I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story so much, even though it's nothing too original (cause let's be honest canon rewrites have been done a hundred times over). But the fact that you connected with Natalie and that you're having fun reading this means the world to me. Also, please don't apologize for being busy. Studying and exams always come first, no matter what! The story will still be here when you have free time for it :D
(ch. 28) - Well she obviously couldn't die this early on! But I think you might have mistaken me saying that her "future self" would disappear for "present day" Natalie dying. So I'm sorry for the confusion. And yes, she now has all her other self's knowledge and memories although one can only plan so much even while knowing what's to come. For Erwin's part, yes I had always intended on keeping him alive because for me the show felt like a completely different show after he was gone. He was such a bright light in that dark universe, that when it went out things just seemed to fall apart so fast and so horribly. But from the moment I got the idea to write this I knew I wouldn't let him die. Whether or not he got the Colossal, I was going to find a way to keep him alive.
And yes, the story will still contain parts of the canon events, although obviously they will be different in various ways and to various degrees. Because all of a sudden you have two characters who weren't there in the canon version (Natalie and Erwin). And Erwin is super difficult to write because I want to do my best to keep him as people know him, but at the same time show how all of the past events changed him and affected him. So hopefully I'll manage to keep a balance and not make him seem out of character.
2. aLeexheaven - Thank you so much for the feedback, I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story! And yes, I actually never managed to make peace with Erwin's death and I always was curious to see what would happen if he survived. Suffice it to say, it is pure torture to write him into events where he wasn't originally. Because let's be honest most people are NOT as smart as Erwin was, so it's not the easiest thing to capture his character well enough that he still seems like the canon Erwin. But it's also so much fun and I just feel so much better knowing that he's there. It may be weird, but it gives me a sense of security to have him around in the story.
So these are my replies for today. Cheers, lovelies~ ( ˘ ³˘)❤