Another lazy week compared to others, but at least things are moving again with the Liberio raid and I'm getting to the end of it. Also, I may start turning "Serendipity" into a podfic, like an audiobook. I'm not yet 100% sure if I'll do it, because the updates for the podfic would be irregular as I would have to record it when I have the time. I'd still have to concentrate my efforts on writing the story to the end, first and foremost. But if I do end up doing it, I'll certainly provide links to it. If you guys would be interested in hearing me read out my story, that is :D
As always my lovelies, go ahead and enjoy this chapter and don't forget to toss me a little review, to let me know what you think~ ;)
P.S. All Attack on Titan characters belongs to Isayama Hajime. I only own my OCs.
31. You chose to
~ 850 ~
"One week cleaning the stables by yourself, that's your penance. And no contact with Levi, unless it's a formal meeting that you both need to attend. If you two meet in secret I will find out and that will add two more days to your punishment, Natalie."
It had been a full week of talking and planning the island's defenses and all Erwin wanted was to get a breather. But he had promised Zackley he would discipline Natalie for her outburst, lest the Premier took the matter into his own hands which wouldn't bode well for the young woman. And so that evening after he had arrived at the barracks, he had summoned both her and the Captain to his office to deliver his orders.
"Very well." she replied without hesitation.
Spending the entire day around the horses didn't sound bad; it was a different matter not being allowed to speak to Levi at all, but she would survive for seven days. Heck, she had survived ten years without seeing him once... a week wouldn't kill her. And this would be a good test of her willpower, on top of it all.
"No, let's make it two weeks then since you're so willing to agree with me." Erwin furrowed his brow, sensing that she wasn't taking it seriously.
"Erwin—"
"Commander—"
"No, don't..." he gestured to silence them, unable to fully hold back a smile at their synchronized protest. "Natalie, do you understand why I'm doing this?"
"Of course, sir; because of what I said at the meeting."
"What you said wasn't wrong... in fact, you expressed how most of us likely felt in that moment. It was how you said it that was a problem. I don't blame you for being angry at them, however, lashing out like that can have severe consequences. Even with Historia as Queen, you're still a soldier; you answer to Premier Zackley just the same as you answer to me or to Levi. Had he been in a more belligerent mood that day, he would have disciplined you on the spot. The fact that I had to promise I would punish you, to appease him, should tell you just how serious this is and what kind of consequences it could have had. Just as it should tell you that, depending on how severely you screw up, I may not always be able to protect you."
"I understand." the redhead at last nodded, after a brief silence in which she had mulled over his words.
"Alright." he agreed, this time reading in her eyes that she was being entirely serious about it. "You'll start in the morning. Now, Arlert had something he wanted to discuss with us and the rest of your squad."
At that, he stood from his desk and led the two out of the office, to one of the meeting halls where Armin and the others were already gathered around the table. Gesturing for them to not stand when he approached, Erwin waited until Natalie and Levi had joined their squad before setting a hand onto the backrest of his own chair.
"Well Arlert... what was this important issue you wished to debate with us?"
Taking that as his cue, the boy stood while the Commander moved to sit down, and took a deep breath to swallow his nerves. Oh, he dearly hoped his theory wasn't wrong; the last thing any of them needed right now was false hope.
"I had been thinking about something before and I've analyzed it further this week until you returned, Commander." he began. "It's the reason I asked you to not reveal anything about the shifters' lifespan at the meeting. Thank you for trusting me..."
"Where are you going with this, Armin?" Eren spoke up after Erwin had nodded to his friend, looking just as intrigued as the others.
"Well... there's something that doesn't really connect for me, from what you and Natalie have said about this 13-year lifespan. First off, you said that when Historia and her father touched you, you recalled the moment when you ate Dr. Jaeger... right?"
"Yeah... what about it?"
"Natalie, on the other hand, never had such a memory. If she had, I'm sure she would have recalled it when you two did that experiment with Historia."
"So you're saying she got the power in some other way?" Jean chimed in. "That she never ate anyone...?"
"That's what it has to be, isn't it? There's only one other way we know of, for a shifter to gain one of these powers. In Eren's memories the man who had his power before Dr. Jaeger said that if a shifter dies before their time, the power is passed to a subject of Ymir yet to be born."
"...And Kasimir told me he killed himself, to rob Marley of his power." Natalie recalled.
"You said that on your first meeting he called you the vessel chosen by Ymir." he nodded as more and more of the puzzle pieces fell into place in his mind. "And then later, he told you that a shifter only has thirteen years to live after they get the power, and how all shifters are bound to this, yes? If we go by that logic, then a shifter's lifespan 'starts' from the moment they receive the power."
Waiting until she nodded, he felt his lips twitching towards a smile in the face of her confused expression.
"Don't you see? This 'Curse of Ymir' has to be fake! If he killed himself and you got the power at birth... there's no way you would still be alive today. There would be no reason for you to not have any memory of eating someone to gain this power. It's the only explanation that makes any sense..."
In the face of her hesitation, however, his humor faded and he was left wondering if maybe he should have discussed it with her and Eren earlier, rather than wait for Erwin.
"You're not going to die!" he insisted, reaching to take hold of her hand and squeeze it tightly. "This whole curse idea must have been something Marley invented."
"It makes sense. There's no greater motivator for a soldier than knowing that they're doomed no matter what." Erwin at last chimed in drawing all eyes to him. "If they believed they only had a certain number of years left, they would fight with all they had regardless of the odds they faced."
"That's so cruel... doing that to a bunch of kids..." Jean replied grimly.
In the heavy silence left by his words, Armin was startled to finally feel Natalie return the grasp on his hand. Even without words, he could see the gratitude in her eyes when he looked at her.
'Makes sense... she probably doesn't want to get her hopes up too high.' he pondered, recalling just how many lies they had battled their way through in just a few months.
But he was confident now that his theory was correct; that none of them was going to die because of that 'curse'. And Erwin's confirmation that his analysis was plausible only served to reinforce his belief that he wasn't wrong.
~ oOo ~
"Are you sure you don't want any help?" Armin called out from the doorway to the stables that afternoon.
"It wouldn't be much of a punishment if I got help, now would it?" the redhead chuckled, placing the armful of hay before Ran and patting his muzzle. "Isn't that right, carrot breath?"
It had been six days since she had started her punishment and the rest of the squad had taken up the habit of keeping her company in turns. She had never allowed them to help her with her work, but Erwin also hadn't forbidden them from talking to her to help her pass the time so long as they made sure to finish their own duties first.
"Don't worry about me, Armin." she smiled, going back to pick up another armful of hay and heading over to Levi's mare. "Erwin's right... I was so angry that I didn't even think of the consequences my words could have. Maybe in the back of my mind, I had grown complacent in the idea that he and the Captain would always protect me. I'd forgotten that I also need to protect them and that if I screw up, sometimes I won't be the only one to suffer for it. That just because I have them around me, it doesn't mean I can do whatever I want all the time."
Smiling when the mare lowered her head to bury her muzzle in the red locks, Natalie reached up to stroke the side of her face.
"You're such a good girl... I see why Levi loves you so much." she said, before leaving the mare to her dinner and turning back to Armin with a soft laugh. "Maybe Eren rubbed off on me a bit too much, in some ways."
"He has that effect on people, sometimes." Armin agreed with a chuckle of his own. "At least you seem to be feeling better."
"Yeah, well... it's amazing what knowing you won't die soon can do for your morale."
Falling silent at that, he found that his smile faded when she turned her back to go pick up hay for another horse. Even with her cheerful demeanor gradually returning, he was still worried. There were far too many things they didn't know about the Titan Powers, far too many enemies to worry about, far too many people who hated them and wanted them dead.
'Will we ever really be able to stop the fighting?' he pondered, turning his eyes to the late evening sky and allowing it to carry his thoughts away.
"Armin...?"
Startled by the hand weighing on his shoulder, he realized he had gotten so lost in his own mind that he hadn't even noticed the sky darkening further or Natalie walking out of the stables.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah..." he smiled in the face of her concerned look. "Sorry, I was just thinking."
"Maybe you should take a break from that, every now and then. Well, I'm off to the showers and to clean clothes before dinner. I'll see you later."
Lightly tousling his hair she left him to himself and headed off, only later joining him and the rest of the squad for dinner.
"I know it's been six days, but it still feels weird to see the Captain sitting at the officers' table instead of eating with us." Connie commented, drawing everyone's attention to the table on the other side of the room where Levi was sitting with Erwin and Hange.
"I think it's doing him good." Natalie chuckled, watching him smacking Hange's hand away when they tried wrapping an arm about his shoulders. "He spends enough time with us as it is. Erwin and Hange are still his friends and he's been neglecting them lately."
"I would believe that if he didn't stare at you every chance he got." Jean retorted, catching the young Captain in the act while Natalie turned back to her food.
"If he's staring, he has a good reason for it." she rolled her eyes. "He's past the phase of being a horny teenager, like you. Maybe you should ask him if you're that curious."
"I mean... I enjoy living, thank you."
"Alright, I'll ask him for you after I'm done with this punishment."
"Should have kept your mouth shut, horseface." Eren grinned into his stew.
"Huh? What was that, you suicidal idiot?" Jean shot right back.
"Can you two not start this during dinner?" Natalie sighed. "Just because the Captain can't talk to me, doesn't mean he can't come over to kick your asses for it."
Though she didn't want to admit it, she too had caught Levi watching her more times than she could count. But she was sure he had a reason for it; maybe he was still worried about her mental state, despite Armin's encouraging words.
"You know, you're staring more than a girl in love." Hange chuckled, prompting Levi to scowl at them.
"I know you're worried." Erwin chimed in. "But she seems to be doing better these days. It's just one more day—"
"It's not that." the young Ackerman interrupted him, taking a sip of his brandy. "I'm just glad she's doing so well without me."
"Huh? What does that mean?" Hange blinked in confusion.
"...I was starting to worry she might become too dependent on having me around." he replied after a long moment of watching the redhead talking to the others, or scolding Jean and Eren when they again tried to start a fight. "We've been spending so much time together lately, that I was starting to forget how strong she is on her own."
"Maybe you should do something nice for her, once in a while." the Commander smiled. "You two get so invested in your work that sometimes I wonder if you even remember you're in a relationship, not a business contract."
"That's right... women need romance every now and then, you know." Hange agreed. "They also like some material things, sometimes; just something to remind them that you love them. Like a walk in the moonlight, or candlelit dinners, or flowers, or—"
"I don't think walks are—" Erwin chimed in, sounding on the verge of a chuckle.
"If you two are so good at romance, why am I the only one who has a lover?" Levi cut them both off, going back to his food.
At last, Erwin caved to the hearty laughter building up in his chest, drawing the others' gazes back to them.
"See?" Natalie grinned back at Connie, having eyed the subtle smile Levi was trying to hide in his drink. "I told you it's doing him good."
Finishing up her meal she left the table with one final warning to Eren and Jean to not start any ruckus, and finally headed back to her room to rest. It certainly wasn't easy caring for so many horses, even though Erwin had only had her tending to the ones belonging to her squad. Granted, no single person could have ever properly cared for all of them, but even just the eight steeds on her team were almost an overwhelming amount of work.
'Well... it could've been a lot worse if Erwin really wanted that.' she reminded herself, sitting on the bed after changing into the oversized shirt she used in place of a nightgown. 'I was lucky to get off this easily.'
Heaving a long sigh she turned her eyes to the nightstand thinking to continue reading her book before bed, when her eyes fell upon the white handkerchief resting atop her brother's scarf.
'I swear... I'm the worst with borrowing things.' she huffed, reaching to grab it and smiling fondly as she caressed the snowy fabric with her thumbs.
How long had it been since that night? It seemed like forever ago that she had snuck into his office to find him asleep.
'I miss you...'
Closing her eyes she buried her lips into the handkerchief. It was a good thing for both of them that they had been forced to put some distance between them for a bit, but she still missed him terribly. She still longed to talk to him, to touch him, to make sure he took proper care of himself.
=0=0=
It was the sudden sinking feeling that something wasn't right, as though her stomach had just dropped like a rock to the bottom of her belly, that had her opening her eyes to the nothingness of that place. Immediately she spun around taking in her surroundings and felt a cold shiver rolling down her spine, upon realizing she was standing only a few steps away from the light pillar.
No matter how many times she saw it, it was such an overwhelming sight how light could bend and shape itself like that.
"...Hello?" she called out, her voice small as though some part of her was afraid to make herself heard. "Natalie...? Kasimir...?"
But neither of them responded and she was left with only that sinking feeling. Who had brought her there if it wasn't them? And why wasn't anyone showing up to talk to her? It was only when she tried lowering her arms that she realized she was still clutching Levi's handkerchief.
'What... I've never brought anything with me before...' she blinked in confusion.
Every time someone had brought her there, no item that she had been holding had made the journey with her... except this time. She couldn't tell if it had been real or a mere thought, but something urged her to unfold it and she gasped at the sight of the bloodstains on it, nearly dropping the piece of fabric.
'Is this...? Maybe it's just a nightmare...' she tried reassuring herself that it wasn't real; that she wasn't having some premonition about Levi.
She had just crumpled the fabric into her fist to get the blood out of her sight, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood telling her she was being watched. Again she spun on her heel, coming face to face with Ymir staring at her from within the light pillar. Her face was an emotionless mask just as it had been the first time Natalie had seen her, and yet this time she looked very much aware of the redhead's presence. Her eyes were overshadowed despite the blinding light, that Natalie felt like she was looking into the same void stretching above their heads.
"Do you love him?"
The question left her dumbfounded because she couldn't tell if she had heard it, or if it had been just in her head. Was that... Ymir's voice? It had to be in her head then because she could have sworn the girl's lips hadn't moved.
"Did you... bring me here?" she asked hesitantly, instinctively clutching the handkerchief between her hands for comfort.
"Do you love him?"
Realizing she wouldn't be the one asking the questions, Natalie could only nod while pressing the piece of fabric tighter to her chest.
"More than the world? More than humanity's future?"
Again the questions left her staring like an idiot, as she struggled to process what she had just heard.
"No... no, please..." she begged, her fear of being forced to make that choice coming back in full force.
"How much would you sacrifice for his sake?"
"Please don't make me choose..."
But Ymir was nothing if not unmoved by her pleas, only ever so slightly cocking her head as though she was measuring Natalie, before turning around and vanishing into the light tree.
=0=0=
All at once, the sound hit her like a hammer and she had to close her eyes against the sudden gust of dirt and sand passing by her. Glancing around she realized she was no longer in the dark desert, but on open plains. Behind her the land faded into the calm sea, the water sparkling invitingly beneath the midday sun. To one side was a cliff ridge where she could see people scrambling frantically to get to higher ground.
And then at last she realized the earth beneath her was trembling, her gaze drawn in front of her. A gasp was all she could loose at the sight of rows upon rows of Colossal Titans darkening the horizon, and she felt her heart sinking.
"Why...?" she whispered, choking on a sob before she suddenly realized she couldn't see Eren. 'Where is he?'
The weak gasp froze her to her very core, her eyes widening in horror as she lowered her gaze, and all at once she found herself holding a bloodied Eren in her arms – rather what was left of him, as she realized his entire lower half had been torn off.
"I couldn't... save them. Couldn't... transform..." he coughed, nearly choking on the blood flowing from his mouth as she instinctively squeezed him to her chest.
With the last of his strength, he raised a hand and pointed at the nearby crater, drawing Natalie's gaze to the mangled corpses lying there. Mikasa... Armin... Hange... Erwin... Historia... everyone she knew had been crushed together, staring her down with glassy eyes.
"I'm sorry..." he sobbed on his last breath, his tears mixing with the blood staining his face; but he no longer saw her looking down at him, his lifeless stare fixed upon the blue sky above them.
'What... what have I done? Why?!' she clenched her jaw, holding him tighter to her chest.
Her answer came with a thud that nearly had her dropping Eren's body. And as she looked up, another Titan rose from behind the Colossals. On its hands and knees, it still towered over them by at least half their height. Its face had no flesh, showing the skull in its entirety from beneath the blonde hair, the eyeless sockets nothing more than a bottomless void. Its body was lean and in the shape of a female, its ribs protruding from its torso and nearly touching the ground. What... in the world was that thing?
"Your choices made this..."
Ymir's voice startled her into noticing the girl standing at the edge of the crater where her friends had died. Natalie too was now standing and she was no longer holding Eren's body, only his blood still staining her hands. And when Ymir raised her arm, the Titan too stirred throwing something in between them. At first, Natalie couldn't tell if it was a human or not until Ymir walked over and with her foot pushed the body onto its back.
'No... no, no, no, no...' she pleaded, instantly recognizing the man lying at Ymir's feet.
It felt like forever that she ran until she collapsed at his side, picking up his mangled corpse and wrapping him in her arms. But no matter how she stroked his hair, no matter how she called his name, no matter how many of her tears fell onto his face... he was no longer there.
"This path is inevitable."
With those last words, Ymir walked away towards the Colossals, leaving her utterly broken. There was nothing she could do anymore, other than screaming her pain and desperation to the sky, as she squeezed Levi's mutilated body.
=0=0=
With a choked gasp as if she had been drowning, Natalie sat upright in bed heaving for breath, covered in sweat and tears and trembling with no hope of controlling herself. When had she gone to sleep? She didn't recall lying down, nor how much time had passed... just that she'd had some terrible nightmare. When she reached up to wipe her tears with the back of her hand she saw that in her fist she was still clenching Levi's handkerchief. And all at once, the entirety of her vision replayed in her head, nearly tearing another scream from her.
'Levi...' she gasped, all her thoughts focused on him. 'Levi... Levi...'
She had to see him, had to make sure he was alright, had to... she didn't even notice when she had run out of her room, forgetting that she was half-naked and barefoot, forgetting that she wasn't supposed to talk to him for another day, forgetting everything and everyone else. She had to make sure he was alright! It was the only coherent thought her mind was willing to form at that moment.
Like in a trance she ran the empty corridors to the officers' quarters, heaving for breath not because of the effort but due to the crippling fear that squeezed her chest. But he wasn't in his room and so she was left to cross the yard to the main building. For his part, Levi had just leaned back in his chair to take a sip of his tea when the knock at his door drew his attention.
'You damn brat... you really couldn't hold it in for another day?' he mused with a measure of fondness, recognizing Natalie's way of knocking. 'And here I was praising you earlier...'
At first, he contemplated not answering, for her own sake, but the way she insisted had him furrow his brow in concern. Had something happened to her? If it was something urgent, why wasn't she just coming in to check if he was there or not? Standing on that thought, he walked across the room only to nearly get toppled over as soon as he opened the door when Natalie threw herself into his arms.
"Hey..." he spoke up, immediately silenced when he realized she was trembling much in the same way she had on that day so many years ago. "Nat... are you alright? What happened?"
"Please... help me..." she sobbed, the terror in her voice compelling him to wrap her in his arms.
"It's alright. I'm here... you're alright." he whispered soothingly, but she only held him tighter and shook her head, crying her heart out.
He was just about to lead her to the couch and sit her down when Erwin's voice came from the hallway, just before the Commander appeared in the doorway holding a dossier.
"Levi... can I ask you to look over this tomo—?" he inquired, falling silent at the sight.
He would have smiled and then scolded them for not being able to resist even a week without each other, but any humor faded to the recesses of his mind when he registered that Natalie was crying.
"What happened? Is everything alright?"
"I don't know... she just came here two minutes ago, and she's been like this since." the young Captain replied.
With Erwin gesturing to the couch, he at last moved and had to practically carry her there because she was shaking so badly that she could barely stand on her own feet. Even when he crouched in front of her and tried to reach up to wipe away her tears, she only grabbed onto his arm as tightly as she could to where her knuckles bled white.
"Nat... what happened?" he asked again, covering her hands with his free one.
She seemed to be in a similar state to the one after her experiment with Historia and Eren, where she hadn't been able to calm down without being forced to sleep.
"I... I saw... everyone... couldn't..." she gasped, the sobs wracking her body making her choke on her own words. "It's worse... all of... it..."
"I'll go get you some hot tea." he at last sighed, hoping that would help calm her enough that she could speak coherently.
"No!" she almost screamed, tightening her hold onto him such that he wondered how her fingers weren't breaking. "Don't... leave me... don't... don't leave... please... don't... please..."
"I'll be right back, I promise... Nat, I'm not leaving..."
But she wouldn't have it, only shaking her head frantically and holding onto him with all her might.
"Stay with her... I'll bring it." Erwin stated, leaving the office before Levi could say anything else.
With him gone, the Captain settled onto his knees and at last she released his arm to latch onto him again. She was still shaking like a leaf and sobbing even with no tears left in her.
"I'm here... it's alright, I'm here with you. Nat, I'm right here... it's alright, I'm right here with you."
He didn't know what else to do to help her, other than whispering those words over and over, in between kissing the side of her head and stroking her hair. He suspected by now that she had seen something again, but what in the world could get her in such a state? More importantly, was this going to become something that would happen again and again? He wasn't sure how many of these nervous breakdowns she could take before they broke her beyond repair. The sound of voices in the hallway, however, turned his attention back to the door where Erwin returned with a steaming cup of tea and the rest of their squad in tow.
"Shouldn't you all be in bed at this hour?" he scolded them.
"Mikasa saw Natalie running out of the dorms earlier..." Armin explained. "But it was too dark to tell where she was going and she got worried. She asked us to help look for her and make sure she was alright..."
"Clearly she's not alright." Connie chimed in as they took in the redhead's deplorable state. "What happened?"
"We don't know yet." Erwin replied after handing Levi the tea. "We're trying to get her to calm down so she can tell us."
"Did you see something?" Eren intervened, his question halting Natalie's trembling hands midair as she had been reaching for the cup.
A chill ran down his spine at the horror and relief mixed in her wide eyes as she looked at him. Then she finally stood and walked up to him, checking him over as if she was looking for something. Only when she didn't seem to find anything did she sigh and wrap her arms around him tightly, leaving everyone dumbfounded.
"Thank heavens..." she sobbed into his chest.
Exchanging a concerned look with Levi, the boy led her back to the couch. At least she seemed calm enough to speak now. While the Captain helped her take a sip of the tea, given that she was still slightly shaking, Eren took up the seat at the other end of the couch.
"So... you think you can tell us what you saw?"
He fully expected something horrible by now, considering her startling reactions, but nothing could have fully prepared him for what she told them once she had started talking. By the time she had again choked on her tears, leaving a suffocating silence hanging over them, even Erwin looked unsettled. In the end, it was Levi who first seemed to break out of their statuesque state, sitting at her side and pulling her into his arms. To Eren, it was incredible how he could so easily handle that information, when everyone looked horrified to their core.
'I suppose it wouldn't be the first time he's heard that he'll die in the future...' he pondered.
More than anything, however, he felt so bad for Natalie. She had tried so hard to change that outcome, to save everyone, to give humanity a brighter future... and now to hear it was inevitable, made his blood boil.
"Just keep trying."
Levi's voice startled him from his anger and he looked over to the young Captain stroking Natalie's hair as she held onto him.
"You just keep trying... so you won't have any regrets at the end." Levi repeated, burying his lips into the ruby strands.
"That's right!" Sasha smiled, trying her best to sound encouraging. "We all just have to keep trying, no matter what. I'm sure we'll end up making it better... we just have to try."
"How...? The future host is gone... the past one can only tell me vague things... I have no guide any more. And even with her – all my choices only led to the same future. It doesn't matter if it's Eren or not... that future will happen, regardless!" Natalie at last spoke up, looking utterly defeated, before her voice went down to almost a broken whisper. "Ymir was right... it's inevitable..."
"No." Eren replied, startling her into looking back at him when he reached over to squeeze her hand. "I refuse to believe that. You know why? Because you chose to join the Survey Corps... you chose to be free of these walls. You chose to fight. That wasn't Ymir's doing – that was your will. And your will is what will make a better future... and I'll help you achieve that, in any way that I can. Ymir doesn't get a say in our lives."
"That's right!" Armin at last chimed in, ever the optimistic one. "If she really had a say, then the curse would have been real. But even that turned out to be only a farce. I'm sure that's not what she meant... maybe she wanted you to see that, to let you know that you can still change it."
"Maybe we should discuss this whole thing later... when she's gotten some rest after this fright." Mikasa spoke up.
"Yeah, I don't think any of us can think clearly right now." Connie agreed. "We're all too emotional after hearing all that."
"Then get back to bed, you brats... all of you." Levi ordered.
Exchanging a brief look with Erwin and seeing the Commander nodding his permission, he got to his feet and pulled the redhead to stand.
"Come on, you need to sleep." he said, huffing with almost a smile when she instinctively grabbed onto his shirt. "I'm not going anywhere, dummy."
It was only with his reassurance that he eventually managed to get her back to her room, seating her on the bed and going over to her washbasin to wet a towel.
"Sorry..." she at last muttered, while he settled onto one knee and started wiping her feet.
"For what?"
"I probably trudged dirt all over your office..."
"Idiot." he huffed again, this time actually smiling. "It's just a floor... I'll sweep it up tomorrow."
"I really am just as childish as when we first met, aren't I?" she spoke again after he had finished, this time compelling him to look up at her. "It's not even the first time I see that kind of thing... and I still had to come running to you. I don't even know... I don't... how could you ever fall in love with someone like me?"
Sighing lightly when she broke down again, he stood and placed the towel back onto the basin stall before at last sitting next to her.
"I know what you're trying to do... I won't let you do it, Natalie." he replied, startling her into looking at him. "I refuse to believe that you pushing me away will make a better future for anyone. I don't believe that... I won't believe that. Besides, you're shit at pushing people away; you have a lot more years to go before you'll learn to do that."
"I feel so sorry for you..." she whispered, though he could see her battling a smile in wake of his words.
Next thing she knew she saw him narrowing his eyes, before she found herself on her back with him hovering over her.
"For what? Getting saddled with a stubborn, suicidal, stupidly kind brat like you? I happen to be quite happy with that." he retorted, leaning down to kiss her just as she opened her mouth to speak.
"I... don't think I quite saddled you, though."
When she pouted he had to bite back a sigh of relief; finally, she was starting to feel better. And so he reached to tug gently on her cheek until she swatted his hand away.
"Don't you know your Captain's always right?"
"Since when?" she pouted again.
"Since you kissed me..."
"Whe—?" she blinked, only to be interrupted when he again pressed his lips to hers.
At last, she smiled at him and reached up to stroke his cheek, only for Levi to grab her hand and press his lips into her palm.
"You know why I fell in love with you." he said, once again sounding serious as he caught her gaze with his own. "Just because I'm shit at saying it, doesn't mean you can't already read me like an open book. I know you can... I've seen you noticing things to the point where I sometimes thought it was creepy how well you can read me. But I love that about you. I love that you can see me so well... and not just me, but everyone. That's why you'll make a better future; because you have this gift of seeing people as they really are."
"I know why... I just... I'm still afraid sometimes." the redhead whispered, tracing her thumb over his cheekbone. "Because I'm such a mess sometimes, and I feel like I'm just adding more to the burdens you already have to carry, and—"
She would have said more, had Levi not silenced her again with a kiss so tender, so loving that it brought fresh tears to her eyes.
"I love you..." she said before he could speak. "I don't think you can even imagine how much I love you. How much I would sacrifice for you..."
"I know you do." he replied, his hand warming her head as he slid it along her hair. "And I know you'll make the choice that won't bring you any regrets."
"I can't... I can't ever trade you for anything."
Wrapping her in his arms, he kissed her cheek using that to hide his pained expression from her gaze. He would have given anything to spare her that choice, as it seemed now that it would be inevitable for her to make it.
"You can..." he whispered, biting back a sigh when she clutched onto his shirt. "You can... because you're stronger than even you want to admit. You can... you can..."
Every time she shook her head he repeated that to her, even when she broke down crying again, hoping it would strengthen her willpower for that imminent moment however far in the future it was.
Sooo today's replies for my lovely reviewers :D
1. MordredVisor - As always love, thank you so much for taking the time to leave feedback! Your reviews never fail to make my day, and I'm looking forward to them with every new upload! Also, don't forget to take breaks every now and then and take care of yourself. Studying is important, but never more important than your health (both physical and mental).
(ch. 31) - Well the next chapter won't focus on Marley, instead we get to see a bit more of Ymir. I was never a fan of how her character was treated throughout the final arc, so I wanted to make her more of a presence, rather than just a plot device. I won't say more than this, to not spoil what's to come, but she will be a bit more present than she was in the canon universe. As for Historia and her baby... well that's going to become more apparent a few chapters later. Although I'm still in the middle of the Marley arc so things may change from what I have initially planned, depending on how the story evolves.
I won't say anything more about Levi just yet, because I'm curious to see what you'll think after reading the new chapter. Gosh this review is so difficult to reply to, because I don't want to spoil anything that's coming in the following chapters xD So I'll leave you with this short answer this week, and I'm looking forward to your thoughts on the new chapter!
So these are my replies for today. Cheers, lovelies~ ( ˘ ³˘)❤