All things considered, Nagisa's excited about his plans for Christmas Eve. Really, he is! Maybe it isn't a romantic date or anything like that, but actually having someone to spend it with is going to be nice. He wonders if Karma didn't consider the implications at all, or maybe he's just choosing to hang out with Nagisa on his birthday anyway. Or, at least, part of his birthday.

Nagisa can't say he's not a little glad to have a week and a half off work, either. He's aware that he's relatively lucky with his job. Not only does he genuinely enjoy the majority of it, but he gets really long breaks. That kind of thing is especially nice in the summer, when it gets so hot he's just exhausted. So, he feels pretty content with everything. Of course there's a few students he's a little concerned about, but mostly he's just happy for them to have a well deserved break too.

Honestly though, Nagisa's not so good with spare time on his hands. It's an unfortunate thing, really. It's like he can't function when he doesn't have anything to focus his attention on. He always has to be working at something. It wasn't too bad when he was still in school, since there was always some kind of work to do. But now? Nagisa's achieved his most direct goal.

Maybe it makes sense that all that energy is getting directed to his sex lessons.

Right there, though, Nagisa doesn't really feel like he's preparing for their normal lesson at all. Such a fact is unfortunate, since he really kind of wants one. After not doing anything the week before with only the anticipation of what's going to actually happen to him, Nagisa's more than ready to find out what it actually is. For someone who genuinely never found sexual gratification an important factor to his life, he's been weirdly on edge only going a week without it.

What he realises he has to do, though, is not just think about sex the whole train ride. Besides, no matter what the case, it's already pretty late (Karma wants to avoid the busy shoppers) and they've made no plans to actually end up back at his apartment. Is he really going to make him wait yet another week?

He's so annoyed at the thought, in fact, that he almost forgets to get off the train. Which would have been bad, since he doesn't exactly feel like hurtling off in the direction of Yokohama. At least Shibuya station, despite its size, is one of the easier ones to navigate. He's not sure why they have to meet here, exactly, but there are worse places to be on Christmas Eve.

The area outside the station is alive with activity. A surprising amount of tourists are taking photos with the Hachiko statue, and there's mass groups of high schoolers huddled together on dates. Nagisa tries his best to ignore them, though, because he's not bitter about the lack of romance in his life or anything. No, he's buying sex toys.

He leans against the green tourist information bus thing, and can't help but check his phone a few times. It's not that Karma's late, he's just early and anxious. But it's not like Nagisa can control the speed of the train, anyway. At the very least, he can appreciate the vibe of the area, even though it makes him feel slightly bitter for some reason.

It's surprising that Karma manages to surprise him when he arrives, given his height.

"Feeling jumpy, Nagisa?"

"No," he slides his phone into his pocket. "Do you always try to jump scare people on greeting?"

"Only you," he shrugs casually. "You still have the funniest reactions."

Nagisa's not sure quite what to make of that. The 'only you' comment penetrates through him, twisting his stomach into a knot not unlike the bow of a Christmas present. Immediately he feels bad for feeling anything at all. He knows he shouldn't. He's not special. He's just… Karma's friend. Companion. Sex friend, maybe? It's unclear.

"Do you want to go, then?"

Karma's hands go in his pockets. "Sure, follow me."

Nagisa's certainly seen Shibuya crossing busier than this, but it still feels hectic, and almost like he's going to lose Karma entirely. Which wouldn't be helpful at all, because Nagisa doesn't know where he's going. Actually, he would have thought that the best place for this sort of thing would be one of the shady side streets in Shinjuku he always had to avert his eyes from, so he's a little surprised they're in an objectively 'nicer' part of Tokyo.

But he's not the expert here.

Nagisa starts to doubt Karma when they're standing outside the building though. "Don Quijote?"

He doesn't really go inside Don Quijote much. Sure, it's convenient, and it's a great place to find a lot of random items, but he's never enjoyed the experience. It's chaotic and cholstrophic, and trying to actually locate the item you came in for feels like traversing the Amazon rainforest. No, he'd rather migrate to the calm of Daiso instead, if he ever needed to go into a shop like that.

"It's the best option," he says, "if you don't want to stand out."

Nagisa's not sure he agrees with that at all, but he's pretty much a slave to Karma's whims at this point. So, what can do he do, other than follow him in? At least the chaos of that many people inside distracts him from feeling much of anything about it. Thankfully, the crowds are focused more on the lower floors, and start to thin out as they climb the stairs a couple of floors up.

"Over here," Karma says, though he's not near anything inappropriate. He's in the costume section, and starts digging around.

"What's this for?"

"Hey Nagisa," he holds up a cheap looking French maid costume. "You sure you're against the role play?"

"I said zero."

He can tell Karma doesn't mean it, though, because he doesn't push it further. In fact, Nagisa guesses he's just trying to lighten the mood or something. Honestly, he doesn't really need to. Nagisa might not be in the best mental state ever, but he's not actually freaking out over this. They're supposed to be having fun together anyway, aren't they?

"What's that for?!" He practically squeaks when Karma picks up some rope.

Karma shoots him a bored look. "You're the one who had a list of fours and fives."

Well, he's not wrong, exactly. But it seems writing theoretical scores on a list is far different from the reality. He's buying this rope, presumably, because he directly intends to tie Nagisa up with it. That's not just incidental. As much as he feels weird about the concept, he also feels… strangely excited. Like a mixture between a squirm and an itch beneath his skin.

"That's not what we came for," he grits out.

"No~?" Karma's tone is light, teasing, and almost directly in his ear. "Then why don't you lead the way? To what we came for."

He really hates the fact that he flushes. "I don't know what to look for, though."

"It should be right over here," Karma takes him by the wrist, weaving through the aisles until they find the area that's curtained off with a huge 'no under 18s' sign on it.

Immediately, Nagisa's stomach plummets. It was all fun and games before, but this is something inherently… well, he's not actually sure what. It feels like a place he shouldn't be, somewhere wrong and dirty and immoral. He understands that's ridiculous, though, and he can't hold onto the blushing virgin thing when he's not even a virgin anymore. It's still embarrassing, though!

He almost hits his head on a freakishly realistic penis. Just… dangling there. He's heard of product samples… he just really hopes nobody's ever taken that literally in a place like this. Huh. Maybe it's so people can measure size? Perhaps that's the advantage of fake penises… you could easily choose whatever feels best to you personally. For him… he doesn't have any complaints, with Karma. But it's not like he's experienced anything different. Hook ups must be like a lottery, in a way.

"Go ahead and choose something," Karma says easily.

Well, it certainly feels weird to pick a hyper realistic penis. Kind of feels like saying 'yours isn't adequate'. So… something less realistic. He thought before that this would be quite easy, but now he's really unsure. There's so many options, and he's not even sure what most of them do. And… he's not sure how he feels about indepth browsing the sex toy aisle.

"I don't know," he turns his head in shame. "You choose."

"Are you really sure you want to leave that to me?" He sounds on the edge of laughing. "Well, I can't say you didn't know what you were signing up for."

Karma hums, then, and starts picking up things seemingly at random. Nagisa can't stop looking over his shoulders, in the sheer dread that someone's going to walk into this. Worse still, it's not like they're far away. They're in the center of Tokyo. What if someone he knows sees him doing this? He'll never live it down!

"Uhm," Nagisa says, "what are you picking up?"

He almost looks like he rolls his eyes. "Vibrating anal beds."

"It looks like a sword."

"The base needs to be flared," he explains, "otherwise it can get stuck up there."

"Oh."

Karma tilts his head, then. "Remind me how you feel about butt plugs?"

"Uhm," Nagisa can almost feel the steam coming out of his ears. "They're not a hard no?"

"Hmm," he considers it, before leaning down to speak right into his ear, "but you like it when I finger you open~"

Nagisa jumps back. "K-karma! You can't just-"

"You're the one who had dirty talk at a four~"

"We're not having sex right now though," he hisses.

He sticks his tongue out. "Fine, have it your way, then."

If Nagisa understands one thing, it's this: he's getting revenge for this.

Regretfully, he doesn't actually say something, when Karma picks up the plug anyway, along with an assortment of items Nagisa's still somewhat afraid of. He didn't lie when he was ranking them, though. He feels open to trying these things, if not a little apprehensive. But Nagisa's never been anything if not naturally curious.

"W-we have to pay in the normal place?" Nagisa asks, with slight horror at the lack of a special check out counter.

"Yep," Karma says, unbothered. "Oh, this is probably expensive enough to get tax free!"

So now they're walking through this incredibly busy superstore with an armful of sex toys. And, to Nagisa's utter shame, people are noticing. It's something he can just feel in the air around him, people looking at them. He kind of wants to run away into the depths of the sock aisle and scream instead. Karma doesn't look bothered at all, though, picking up a jumbo box of condoms on the way. Great.

Nagisa half hides behind Karma, when they get to the counter, and the poor worker has to go through scanning all the items. Although he's sure that she probably doesn't care, and has most definitely seen worse, he can't help but feel like one of the lowest people on the planet. Surely it can't just be him?

"IDs," she says.

"W-what?" Nagisa doesn't even mean to voice it out loud.

"You have prohibited items," she says. "I need ID."

So much for anonymity. She barely glances at Karma's, possibly because he actually looks like a man in his early twenties. Nagisa, on the other hand, is more than aware that he can pass for a teenager if he really wants to. There's no real situation where that's a useful talent, unfortunately. She's glaring at his ID for a long time, though, and he wonders if there's an actual problem with it.

"Shiota Nagisa kun?" She half announces to the area.

"Uh-" it's about then that he manages to look the woman in the eye, realising that he actually does recognise her. It's been a while, but she's one of his mother's friends. "H-hello."

"It's been such a long time!" She opens up a plastic bag, and cheerfully starts stacking the sex toys. "My, I haven't seen you since high school! You look so different, with the short hair. It suits you."

"Thank you," he says, staring at the floor and hoping it'll magically transform into quicksand.

She looks between then. "Your Mum didn't tell me you had a boyfriend."

When will Korosensei come back from the dead and explode the Earth like he'd first promised to?!

"Haha," he gets out.

"Oh," Karma's hand darts across the till area, picking up a small bag of sweets. "And these."

How is he so calm?!

She smiles. "That'll be 20,853 yen. Cash or card?"

"I have the cash," Karma reaches for his wallet.

Nagisa tugs on his arm. "You can't pay for all of it-"

"But it's your Christmas present," Karma's arm winds around his back, "sweetie."

Now, his mother's friend is beaming. "Ah, it's so refreshing to see young love! This one's a keeper, Nagisa kun," she winks. Winks! "Anyway, have a good time, you two!"

"Haha," Nagisa says again, and practically runs out of the building with his metaphorical tail between his legs.

That means that Karma finds it hilarious. Not just chuckle funny. He's full body wheezing, right there on the street, scrubbing away the tears from his eyes. At least the bag is an ugly bright yellow colour, meaning its contents are obscured for now. Not that it matters, with Karma drawing attention to the two of them like this.

"Shut up," he hisses. "It's not even that funny!"

"Your face," he continues.

"What if she tells my Mum?!"

Karma splutters. "I'd give anything to see the look on her face, if she finds out I corrupted her sweet innocent Nagisa with butt plugs."

"I wouldn't!"

"What's the big deal?" Karma composes himself a little.

"What if she thinks we're dating or something? I- I don't know how she'd even react to that? She always told me you're a bad influence on me in the first place… What if she invites you for dinner?! We can't do that! I-I know you've dealt with a lot of stuff but my Mum is something else-"

Karma clears his throat. "Well, you could have corrected her."

"And say what?! 'No, he's just my sex friend'?"

"I prefer the term 'Sex Sensei'."

Nagisa doesn't even have a response to that one. He just… flatlines right there. Well, not actually. Nagisa would love to just drop dead and be free of the pain of this interaction, but the night is still young, and he doesn't feel like leaving their interaction just there. Also, he feels like he needs some time to process

"Well," he says, "we have everything we need now, right?"

Karma peeks into the bag. "I think so, unless you decide you have another fetish or something."

Yeah, a gag, probably. Nagisa already said he doesn't find appeal in public stuff, but Karma could do with something to permanently prevent him from speaking. Well, not forever. Actually, Karma was generally pretty quiet when he wasn't trying to embarrass Nagisa's soul out of his body. But still, time and place!

"Haha," he says again, because what else can he say?

Karma's head tilts. "Are you… okay?"

No, actually! "Yeah. M-maybe I'm kind of hungry."

He looked down at his watch. "It's kind of late, already, huh? Do you want to go to an izakaya?"

Immediately, Nagisa's mood soars upwards. "Mm, that sounds like fun."

This was what they used to do, in the period of time between turning twenty, and getting settled in their own apartments. In fact, it's pretty much what most university students do. Not that they were studying far away or anything, but it wasn't like their paths crossed under any other circumstances. It had just… felt like the most natural way to hang out, at the time, by going to the bar and having a few drinks every now and then to catch up. Obviously, that cost a lot of money to do super regularly, so it had migrated to canned beer in Karma's living room a little while ago. Up until their recent development, at least.

Even though it can be said he used to 'frequent' bars, Nagisa's never been a big drinker. More than one, and he can easily start to feel dizzy and sick. It's why he prefers drinking with just one or two people, rather than any huge parties. Thankfully, his line of work limits the obligatory after work drinks to just a few special occasions, rather than whenever his boss happens to feel like it.

True to habit, they don't go to a particularly fancy izakaya. In fact, they have to wait for at least twenty minutes before a table even becomes available. Maybe it's the draw of three hundred yen drinks? Honestly, Nagisa just kind of likes the fried chicken in the place. He's never been one to truly buy into the whole KFC tradition, but he supposes it's close enough.

They end up sipping their beers in relative silence, until the selection of food comes. It's not a fancy meal by any means, but Nagisa never enjoyed that kind of thing anyway. Though, he kind of wishes he'd ordered something new, just to find a thread of conversation to pick up. It's not like anything much had happened in their lives, for them to try and 'catch up'.

"You're so lucky," Karma says all of a sudden. "I wish I had next week off work."

Nagisa looks at him curiously. "You don't get any time off?"

"A couple of days for New Years," he laments. "The country doesn't get to stop running."

"I guess that is an advantage of being a teacher."

"Maybe I should just quit," he sighs dramatically. "Become a tyrant headmaster instead."

Nagisa sips a bit of his beer. "There's too much admin work. You wouldn't enjoy it."

"My life is admin work."

"I thought your plan was to terrorise the country," he says, "not just a group of kids."

"It's a work in progress."

Nagisa thinks. "It's been over a year, though. Surely you're not 'new' anymore."

"Just because they're not trying to haze me anymore doesn't mean they're less… dumb. My boss almost caused a war with South Korea, last week."

"He can't do that," Nagisa says, "it's in the constitution."

"They could probably find a way," Karma says. "No document is completely bulletproof."

Nagisa swallows. "Please tell me you haven't been researching ways to declare wars on nations."

He just laughs, which is mildly concerning. "It's not that interesting."

"It's a good thing they're leaving you alone now, at least?"

"Well," he leans back, "at least I had more of an excuse to argue before. I still wish I got a winter break, though."

"Did you have plans for New Years, then?"

"Not particularly," he shrugs. "It's not like my parents would come back just for something like that. Especially now I'm not a kid."

"Oh," Nagisa says.

In a sense, he kind of wishes he could be in the position to not have to bother with family obligations. He'll be expected to go back to visit his parents, at least for New Years Eve and the day following. Things are a lot better now, than they were a few years ago. Now that he doesn't have to be around his mother all the time, they definitely get along better in general… she's also been doing better metally too. But Nagisa knows they're never going to have a relationship that's not at least somewhat scarred by the past. So yes, he'd prefer to avoid the discomfort, as much as he also feels an obligation.

"I don't really care about celebrating it anyway," Karma adds. "It's not like they ever took me to shrines or anything."

Nagisa nods. "I guess."

"Besides," he clearly tries to lighten it. "My birthday is more interesting."

He almost asks if Karma has any plans, but he stops himself. He knows what the answer's going to be. On the one hand, Nagisa thinks it's kind of sad to spend a birthday alone, on the other… it's not like Karma's asked him to do anything. That's a pretty clear sign he doesn't want him there, right? If Nagisa asks… it surely looks like he's digging for it.

Well, looking at the time on the bottom of the ordering screen, it's almost midnight anyway.

Nagisa's not entirely sure where this urge comes from, but there's a fire burning under his skin. He wants to do something. And… there aren't that many options, here like this. Closing his eyes for a moment, he thinks back to Karma's version of their list, and gets an idea. Just the thought of it makes him squirm, but it'll definitely surprise him, and he likes that. Like Nagisa wants to prove something.

Though, he knows himself well enough that he won't actually go through with it. It's just on that edge of too far. But, he's also sure that he wants to. He debates it for just a few seconds, before he orders himself a highball, this time. Is it the most sensible idea he's ever had? Definitely not. But... he needs the courage.

Even Karma looks surprised, though doesn't say anything about it, and doesn't order one for himself. Good. It's better if Karma can react sharply. Unfortunately for Nagisa, though, he doesn't actually like the taste of whisky, no matter what else there is in glass masking it. It encourages him to gulp it down as fast as he can.

"Don't get all drunk on me," Karma jokes. "Your face is already red."

"I'm not drunk," he says, and honestly means it. "I feel good, here."

"Well, if you're sure."

The conversation comes a lot easier, when it really hits his system. And he's sure he's not drunk, not in the way he's used to being anyway (that is, his head isn't planted on the table as he tries to make sense of the room). No, this is light, and easy. As long as he can stay this way for just a little longer… Thankfully, Nagisa barely even notices the passage of time.

That is, until he glances at the clock once more. 00:03. Officially, that makes it Christmas, as well as Karma's birthday. Sure, Nagisa knows it's kind of arbitrary, but energy rushes through him. Nagisa can't really draw attention to anything special, not that he wants to. It's not like he prepared a gift, either. Just maybe, Nagisa needs to give him his body instead.

"Karma," he stands up without any kind of warning, "do you trust me?"

Karma blinks, clearly confused. "Of course I trust you."

Nagisa nods, before taking hold of his wrist. It's kind of funny, in a way. He's so much smaller than Karma, and definitely doesn't look like the type to drag him around like this. Actually, given the difference in their physical strength too, it's clear that Karma's allowing him to do it. Nagisa would have a hard time dragging him somewhere he doesn't actually want to go.

He's bold right here, scanning the area quickly to check that nobody's watching them, before pulling them into the relatively small toilet. There's enough room for them both to stand comfortably though, without feeling particularly squashed. Right. Nagisa's free hand goes behind Karma's waist, locking the door properly behind them. That's only part one.

Karma looks confused, which is… understandable. He's not been inside Nagisa's mind for the last half an hour or so. Somehow, though, it's a little unfair but Nagisa doesn't want any questions. Just go with this. To affirm that, he keeps his hand planted there, not that he's actually pinning Karma in a practical way. He slides up onto his tiptoes, letting go of Karma's wrist in favour of dragging him down by the hair, planting a wet kiss on his lips.

Kissing is still a strange phenomenon for Nagisa. He'll never live down the shame of coming out on top of their rankings, back in school. But back then, he never felt much attachment to the action. In fact, as much as Bitch Sensei had managed to floor him that first time, he hadn't exactly felt anything. Something in that fascinated him, that the technique and skill behind a kiss could wipe him out, without an ounce of passion. He'd taken that and learnt it as a tool, though not one he'd ever

So, he's confident in his ability to wipe Karma out, if he wants to. Except, Nagisa can't only think of the optimal way to move his tongue. The best way to meet him when he kisses back. When he kisses Karma, it's not just fact he can concentrate on. There's also sensation there, like a fire licking up his veins, creeping across his whole body. He feels everything, as opposed to nothing, and he's very much affected by it all.

"What are you doing?" Karma half murmurs in confusion, when he pulls away, lips red from the kiss.

"I-it's your birthday," Nagisa trembles, and gets down to his knees.

If Karma didn't know his plan before, he definitely does now. Fortunately, Nagisa doesn't really hesitate, working the belt buckle with his fingers. He's done this quite a few times already, and it's almost muscle memory at this point. Though, usually there's more room for error. Right now, Nagisa really doesn't want to mess up.

He squeezes him through the rough fabric of the jeans, only briefly, before reaching for the button and zipper. Nagisa doesn't draw it out as long as he knows he can, but despite the situation he doesn't feel like he's in much of a rush. Thankfully, Karma's not feeling shy either, because he's already at a half mast by the time he pulls the fabric of his trousers and underwear down to his mid-thigh, just enough space to maneuver in.

For about a second or two, he does actually give Karma the chance to object. Of course, he'd followed him in willingly, but he still wants to make sure. There's an intense energy in the room, but no signs to stop. Good. Because Nagisa definitely doesn't want to. He has to shift himself a tiny bit, to get in just the right position, but when he finds it he doesn't hesitate to tease the head of Karma's now definite erection with just the tip of his tongue.

It works just as he intended, one of Karma's hands going to his hair as if by instinct. He's already unsteady, too, leaning most of his weight against the door for support. That pleases him. All Nagisa's sure of is that he wants to make Karma feel good. And, well, the whole public thing was a lot higher on his list. He pushes that fact to the back of his mind, though, focusing instead at the way Karma's all flushed, breathing heavily with his jaw clenched.

And Nagisa's barely even started.

He actually hasn't done this for a while. Now they've moved on to 'real' sex, Karma seems to want to focus on other things. But, well, there's no harm in a refresher? There's no such thing as too much practise, afterall. Besides, Nagisa's never really found this act of giving particularly unpleasant. He's also… not completely given up with his additional research.

There's nothing advanced in what he's doing right now, though. It's easy enough, only taking a little more than the head into his mouth, and using his hand to take up the rest of the space. Karma's a warm and heavy weight in his mouth, and Nagisa can even feel him hardening more in his mouth. He tries his best to remember the way Karma likes it, bobbing at a semi fast rhythm.

Sneaking a glance up, Nagisa can tell that Karma's relaxed, most of all. Even though he's not screaming in pleasure of anything, this is good. His hand's more of a soft weight on top of his head than anything else, stroking him in a way. Nagisa decides he likes it. Though, there's just one issue with this steady rhythm, with him bobbing and sucking and pulling off every now and then to catch his breath for a few seconds. Karma's starting to anticipate him.

He sits more upright, letting him slide out of his mouth completely for a moment, though he continues to stroke him. He keeps doing it, until Karma opens his eyes and looks at him directly. The eye contact is a lot, but Nagisa really wants to see all of this. Though, he knows he can't hesitate for much longer, because he can see the gears spinning in Karma's head.

Nagisa prepares himself only briefly, licking along the most prominent vein on Karma's length, from base to tip. Then, still looking at his face, he takes his final breath of air before sliding down as far as he can go. He does it slowly, at least, focusing on breathing through his nose, as he sinks lower and lower. He doesn't force it, he just lets his throat adjust, until his nose bumps against Karma's pelvis, and there's nothing left for him to take. Like a kind of instinct, he swallows around him.

It's like a shockwave goes through Karma, right there, and Nagisa can tell he doesn't know what to do. The gasp he lets out turns out more like a moan, and the hand that's not in his hair bangs against the door, like he's looking for something to hold onto. It's definitely uncomfortable, but Nagisa's wildly pleased that he's actually managed to do it, sucking as best he can as he eases back off.

"Oh-"

He manages to smile around him, taking him back down again. This time, it's a little harder, and his throat protests, but Nagisa hangs on. He makes a fist with his own hand, squeezing his thumb as hard as he can to help him focus. It's difficult, but he knows he's managing it, at least a few times until he physically feels like he needs to stop.

"I didn't teach you that," Karma half grunts.

Nagisa lets go with a pop noise. "I did some research, and some practise."

He's spent quite a long time on it, too. Training away his gag reflex isn't an easy process. It's not like he's spent hours and hours on it. He's just… read some very handy tips. And gotten himself really desensitised to the sensation of having his mouth completely stretched and full. He even members to brush against the back of his tongue when he cleans his teeth, his tolerance for it building and building over time.

Instead of sliding back into his mouth, Karma's erection slides wet against his face, and for a moment he's practically rubbing it with his cheek. Looking up at Karma, there's definitely something sharp and heavy in his eyes. To his core, Nagisa's pleased. It's not really about proving a point though, or making Karma squirm. Not anymore, at least. He feels this weird urge to just make him feel good, to please him.

The slurping saliva sounds are near obscene, when he takes him back down, but it's more like white noise. The real thing is a lot more difficult than anything he's practised with, but he feels like he's getting the hang of it. He manages to go faster, at least, bobbing and sucking at the same pace he was before. He even attempts to use his tongue, a little, but it's awkward and almost makes him splutter.

Karma's trying to hold himself together, one of his hands now shoved in his mouth. It feels good, but Nagisa wants something else. He doesn't really understand it, on his knees like this, but it feels like he and Karma are the only people who exist. Nagisa hasn't even touched himself, nor feels the urge to, yet the floaty way he feels is something like the afterhaze of an orgasm, without any direct pleasure.

It feels like a solid purpose, in a way. Maybe he should be scared of that, but he's floating. In fact, he's not even really that uncomfortable anymore. In a way, though, he feels a little lost. He actually really wants instruction, something to tie him down. He doesn't even really care how it happens, either. Like… all he wants is what Karma wants.

He lets him slide out of his mouth again, and Karma looks like he's just stabbed Caesar.

"Use me," he rasps.

For some reason, Nagisa can't bring himself to care. Just somewhere there, in the back of his mind, he knows that he should feel a mountain of shame. But shame, at least here, doesn't seem to exist anymore. Karma seems shocked, when they meet eyes, like he doesn't know how to process what Nagisa just said.

After a moment that seems to last an eternity, though, Karma nods, tightening the grip he has on his hair. Nagisa takes him back into his mouth again, and at first the movement is slow. Karma still seems unsure, though Nagisa, right there, feels only the urge to take. Eventually, though, he gets it, gripping onto him hard as he pushes as far as he can go.

Right there, it's the most satisfying thing Nagisa's ever felt. He even moans around him, as much as he's able to, as Karma's grip tugs even harder against his hair. Like that, holding him in place, he moves his hips, starting to shift his hips in a minicry of sex. Now that Nagisa has no control of it, the urge to gag does actually return, but he manages to hold on.

He knows he's struggling when tears start to form at the corner of his eyes, but it's good in a way he can't explain to even himself. He loves the way Karma's hand feels on his head, and how heavy he's looking at him as he does, in fact, use his mouth. He looks so good like that, legs actually shaking a little as he's still trying to hang on.

"Close," Karma finally hisses, and tries to pull out.

Nagisa doesn't want him to. He's not even really thinking anymore, as he lunges out, grabbing Karma by the hips. He's just about strong enough to prevent it, meeting eyes with Karma again. That appears to be the cue for Karma to finally let go, groaning deeply as his hips speed up, practically forcing Nagisa's head down onto him.

He feels him throb and pulse strongly, letting out a groan before he registers the ejaculation down his throat. Thankfully, Karma lets go of his head when it happens, and Nagisa's not in control of himself enough to control his instincts. He tries to take it all, he really does, but the taste hits his tongue and it knocks him out of whatever state he was mesmerised into. He'd known that it's not a pleasant taste, but this is something else.

At least he closes his eyes this time, as some of it lands on his cheek.

Almost immediately, he spins over to the toilet, spitting out the contents of his mouth. Unfortunately, the taste is still there, but he can breathe again, even though he's currently coughing and sputtering for breath. It takes him a moment to realise just how much his throat and jaw ache. It's like zero to a hundred, going from feeling almost nothing to everything.

Did they get carried away?

"Nagisa," Karma says like a sigh, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "Are you okay?"

He can only nod, taking hold of the arm Karma offers to pull himself up, as he notes his knees are also sore. He feels like he should say something, at least, but throughout his brain there's no words left. Karma looks him over, though, swiping his thumb against his lips. Even at the touch of a finger, they feel tender and swollen.

"You should probably rinse your face," he says quietly.

Nagisa feels inclined to do as he says, turning to splash his face over the sink, as Karma works on redressing himself. In doing so, he catches his reflection in the mirror. He feels something very strange, at the sight of Karma's cum all over his face. Like… he's been marked up, in some way. Weirdly, it's almost powerful, but he can't actually be sure he likes it.

"I-is it okay?" Nagisa gets out, his voice strained. He's not even sure what he means by it.

Karma just smiles with the corner of his mouth, a small amount of laughter also falling out. "I can't believe you just did that."

With the lightness in Karma's tone, he feels okay. In fact, he joins in with the giggling too. Karma's right, he can't even believe that he did that. Now that whatever cloud was hanging over him, and the alcohol too, has worn off… Nagisa's shocked with himself. Maybe he won't feel this way tomorrow when he thinks about it again, but he's absolutely giddy.

Karma grabs him by the hand, this time, checking there's nobody around before pulling him out with him. They're both still lightly laughing, like kids who just did something bad, before briefly visiting the table they were sitting at. Karma doesn't let go of him, leaning down under the seat to pick up their shopping bag, before simply grabbing their payment receipt and taking him over to the front desk.

Even though Nagisa had thought before that he's fine now, he actually feels out of it as Karma pays for the drinks and food. Distantly, he registers that's not actually a good thing. Blowjob or not, he knows he shouldn't just let Karma pay for everything. Well, that's an issue for later. He can always pay him back.

There's a high energy between them, on their way out of the building. Even on the street, suddenly hit by the cold air. In fact, he finds himself naturally standing even closer to Karma, arms rubbing against each other for warmth. It feels like the most mindless fun he's had in a long time, even though he's acutely aware that they're not that far away from Shibuya Station, now, and all good things have to come to an end.

"I don't want to go home yet," he realises.

Karma looks down at him, surprised. "We can walk the long way."

They're both taking the same train line home, and Nagisa's slightly aware that the last train won't be for another hour or so. He also knows that some of the stops are relatively close together. Still, he mostly lets Karma lead the way. He's taller, longer legs, so he's faster when it comes to climbing hills. Shibuya doesn't have ridiculous inclines, but in the direction they walk, past all the lit up buildings full of night life, there's still enough strain to his thighs to notice it.

Eventually, the buildings and noise thin out, and they're walking along a long path lined by strategically planted trees. There's a few lights set up here and there, but nothing major. Not that feel like the actual winter illuminations, anyway. They're walking in the vague direction of Harajuku, but for some reason Nagisa turns, steering them across the road instead. They're still heading for Yoyogi Park, just from a different angle.

Karma doesn't protest, actually. He's probably just assuming that Nagisa wants to go to a different train station or something. Looking up at him, it's hard to judge, actually. After not walking that far at all, Nagisa can only let out a breath of amazement. It wasn't really intentional, but now they're stood in front of a light blue glow that looks nothing less than magical.

All the trees in front of them are absolutely covered in the lights, which also produce a cool toned glow all around them. Nagisa's never been to anywhere he'd consider 'winter wonderland', but this is the closest to what he'd imagined. It's… really pretty, even if it is just something as simple as a bunch of lights wound around trees. Maybe because, at this hour, they're pretty much alone. There's something more mystical about it.

Nagisa can't help but burst out in a smile. "I'm so happy I got to see them."

"They've been around for two months now," Karma comments, though he doesn't seem mad about it.

"It feels different today," he says. "Somehow."

He blinks then, not sure if he just felt a drop of rain? They both look up, and another drop lands directly on Nagisa's nose. It's not rain, though. Just like that, a light snow starts swirling down around them, and somehow Nagisa feels like this is perfect. Karma's looking up at the sky, still, and there's something innocent and childlike about it, which makes Nagisa's heart beat just a little faster.

It's at that moment he remembers they're still holding hands. He almost wants to pull away, but he knows that'll just draw attention to it. Besides… Karma's hand is actually really warm.

Karma's eyes flick to his, then, and before Nagisa really registers it, he tilts his chin up gently and kisses him. Nagisa finds that's actually the perfect excuse to let go of his hand, and it's more natural to wrap his arms around the back of his neck. Honestly, the only part of them that falls out of alignment is their height difference. It's kind of difficult, having to tilt his head all the time. If only he could be taller…

He's barely even thinking about anything like technique, anymore. Just the warmth of Karma's lips sliding against his, the press of his body, the way one of his hands finds the small of waist… It just feels nice, and Nagisa, for just a second, tries his best not to have a problem with it. To just let himself pretend for a moment…

He has to break the kiss eventually, though.

"I-I just think having sex in Yoyogi park might be a step too far," he looks down.

Karma lets go of him. "What?"

That's what a passionate kiss becomes, right? At least, with them. Nagisa already feels desire stirring in him again, but he knows he can't. As if on cue, the lights switch off around them, leaving only a few sparing street lamps to illuminate the pathway. He's almost glad, that he can't actually make out the look on Karma's face in the darkness.

"We should probably head to the station," he says, "or we'll miss the train."

It's not much further along, from where they're standing. They walk in silence, not holding hands this time, though they're not notably distant either. It feels like a hangover, actually entering the building, scanning their transport cards through the gate. They'd been alone, before, but now they're surrounded by a crowd of mostly drunk people, all looking to get home before the trains stop for the night.

"Karma," Nagisa starts to say, but then the jingle starts to play, and a train zooms into the opposite side of the station.

Karma just nods at him, in goodbye, before turning and managing to push himself onto it. They're travelling in different directions, of course. Nagisa almost feels possessed to follow him, turning around himself to watch as people finish getting on, and the doors slide closed. He just about catches sight of him through the window, before the train speeds off.