I reluctantly fish my hand around the red and green bowl to capture a small strip of paper with a coworker's name.

Kristoff? Great. I lean around my chair to see him crouched under Gina's desk again with an angry look on his face. When does he ever not have an angry look on his face, though?

"Really?" I ask Olaf as he marks my name down next to Kristoff's. He's a master at the silent cackle.

"Sorry! Rules are rules!"

"But you make the rules!"

"What was that?" he asks as he walks away, smirking. He fucking heard me. Who appointed him as the Keeper of Office Christmas Traditions anyway?

Ugh. Kristoff's on one knee now, reaching under the desk, showing something to Gina, whose cubicle is two down and across the aisle from mine. Probably explaining to her why she shouldn't try to force cords in places they're not designed to go. I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now. She's not that dumb. It's so obvious she did that on purpose. Just seeing him on his knee like that, imagining him proposing to her, will probably keep her going for at least a couple of weeks.

I, on the other hand, solve as many of my IT issues on my own as much as possible. Kristoff never answers my help tickets anyway. Besides, I'd rather not have his grumpiness clouding my day.

Speaking of dark days… I hope my sister Elsa's doing ok. She's playing the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker Ballet in North Mountain, where they only have one hour of sunlight a day right now. She's been up there for months, and I really miss her.

I stare at the last picture we took with our parents a few Christmases ago. Look how happy we all were! I run my fingers over my parents' faces, lost in thought. I still miss them so much, especially this time of the year.

"Hmhmm."

Shit. I shake just a little. My boss? No… worse.

"Did you figure out how to do that thing with Excel?"

"Yeah." No thanks to you. I put that ticket in like a week ago, and the report I needed it for got submitted to the client a few days ago. Maybe if I pretended I was dumb Kristoff wouldn't wait until he had nothing else to do to answer my questions.

I don't really understand it. He was perfectly nice to me at first. In fact, I actually sort of thought there was something between us, but then he just ignored me. I honestly have no idea what I did to offend him, and I'm not about to ask.

"Cool. Ok then." He drums his thumbs against the ledge of my cubicle and doesn't even realize he knocks over my "job security box" as he leaves. My fault, I guess, for not getting to things sooner. I guess I should be grateful, though, because I totally missed that small stack of mail. And, yeah, two days away from the deadline on that one. Shit.

Speaking of deadlines… What am I going to get for Kristoff? The Secret Santa gift exchange is in a week, and I know nothing about the guy except that he has way too many fleece vests and plaid shirts, waits until he practically has a mountain man beard before shaving (though he really should just keep it), probably doesn't own a comb, gets to work way before I do and usually leaves early, before most people's computers crash. He doesn't really talk to anyone except when he's fixing their computers, and he always eats lunch alone. He goes to the break room at 11:50 every day so he can miss the crowd. And then he shuts the door and doesn't open it again until 12:50.

There he is. It's 11:54 and he's on his way back from the kitchen with his microwave meal. And… into his office with the door closed. Maybe I do know him.

"You know, maybe you should just talk to him and get some information so you can be better… hmmm informed?" Olaf asks.

Damn it, Olaf must have caught me looking.

We've been neighbors since I started here and we've always gotten along just fine until he started teasing me about Secret Santa. And he's also the only person at work I trust, but he's walking a very thin line right now.

"Whatever," I say and turn back to my monitor and take a bite of my sandwich. I have an important report due in a few hours, and I don't have time to think about Kristoff, or Secret Santa.

Ok! I've got my lunch set. Fork, napkin. It really doesn't look all that exciting, but I am trying to watch my weight. My mom's got diabetes and my dad's got high blood pressure, and doc says I'm headed there, too if I don't start doing something about it. So it isn't as much as I'd like to eat, and it isn't as tasty, but it'll do. I'll grill a steak tonight as my reward for being so good all week. And a baked potato with all the fix-ins.

Typing… .net . Make my moves. Knight to queen's bishop here, castle there, Sicilian defense after that... I have 5 games going right now. Sometimes my opponents play right away, and sometimes I have to wait a week. But Sven always logs on at 12 noon on the dot. And there he is. He's usually eating his porridge or stale bread or whatever the army gives him for breakfast. We always video chat and trash talk each other while commiserating about how much we'd rather be eating something else. And it's lunch, so I don't feel bad pulling so much data because other people aren't using it. I'm the IT guy anyway, so I know how much space is available and I can log off if there isn't enough bandwidth.

Knock, knock, knock

"Ugh… Why?" I say to myself more than Sven. Everyone knows I take lunch from 11:50 to 12:50. To the second.

"What's that?" Sven asks.

I pull my headset down on my desk and quickly swing the door open.

"What?" Shit, I didn't mean to sound so gruff.

"I'm so sorry to bother you, Kristoff. It's just kind of an emergency. I have an important report due at 2:30 pm and my computer just crashed and I lost probably a couple hour's worth of work."

Sven's in the background asking who it is and what's going on. I hope Anna doesn't hear that.

"How many times do I have to say 'save often'? Seriously, Ctrl+S every 10 minutes. How hard is that?"

"I know. I was just in the zone and I didn't think about it. I'm really sorry to bother you."

It's hard to be upset with Anna. She's always so sweet and I always get to her requests last because I know she can usually fix them on her own. Not like she puts in tickets just to get my attention like some of the other ladies do, but she just doesn't ever think she can. This is beyond her capabilities, though. And she's almost in tears.

"Ok, I'll be right there."

Sven's in my earphone asking what's going on again.

"I'll call you back," I say into the microphone and disconnect the call. Shit, Anna's still standing at the door. She saw/heard that. Ugh. Whatever. I was just talking to my brother. But I am so gonna get shit for this later. Stopping the chess game to help a pretty girl. He didn't even see her, but he's gonna know anyway. I'm rolling my eyes at him even though he's not here.

"Ok, so what happened? Walk me through your steps."

She's barely able to talk because of all the snot she's trying to hold in and the wobble in her voice. I feel bad doing this out in the open, cause everyone'll hear how she screwed up. I crouch down so my voice doesn't carry as much. Hello! This was a mistake, cause, yeah, her boobs are right there. Look up. She has gorgeous blue eyes. Look at them. Ok, new plan.

"Ok, I need to log on as the administrator. Do you mind?"

She shakes her head and leaves the chair. Wow, this is short. I didn't realize she was this short. And great, her boobs are still at eye level. Look at the screen. But holy shit, does she smell good… Her whole desk area smells good. I wonder what that scent is.

Waiting for it to load… Jeez, does this woman have enough things on her desk? I can barely move the mouse! Are these papers in any sort of order? How does she even know what's going on? Her in-box is on the ledge, so I always knew that was a mess, but I never really noticed her desk before. Not to mention the half empty bags of chips, half eaten bars of chocolate, three coffee mugs and a couple of open soda cans with bright pink lipstick.

Come on, when is this stupid program gonna finish loading? I'm staring at the screen because I really don't want to get sent to HR. It's not an issue when I work on Gina's computer. She looks like a model, but I like a little more padding. A lot more padding, actually. Anna's definitely not fat or anything, but who wouldn't want to grab onto that ass and squeeze… Yeah, I have to be careful with Anna.

She reaches over me to grab one of the many stress balls on the desk. Her boob is inches from my face, and I really don't want a repeat of last time. We were in the conference room doing computer training on her first day, and she pointed at the monitor to ask about something, and I reached for the mouse at exactly the same time, and I accidentally grazed her. I really thought I was going to get fired, but she acted as though nothing happened. I don't know if she was just being polite because she thought it was an accident (it was an accident), or maybe she didn't notice. That was more than five years ago and every time I talk to her I worry that I'll end up in a closed door meeting with our HR manager. Aside from feeling guilty about touching her before, even though it was an accident, she's so hot and her boobs are exactly the right size for my hands and… It's easier just to avoid her.

"Sorry!" she says. She almost knocks over one of the coffee mugs, too. How does she still have any lipstick on her lips when it's all over her cups?

"You really need to keep your beverages in a closed container. It would be so easy for you to knock them over and fry the keyboard. Or worse."

Now she's really crying. Shit. Was I mean? I did not sign up for this. There has to be a tissue box here somewhere. Yeah, under some papers and a bag of chips.

"Sorry, I'm just always so emotional this time of year," she says as she blows her nose. "I really am sorry for interrupting your lunch and I really appreciate your help."

I've never heard anyone appreciate my help so much. Maybe it's because I never help her when she asks. She probably even thought I wouldn't help her with this. I'm not a monster, though, and I don't want her to get fired, especially two days before Christmas. And I've seen Hans fire someone for less. God damn, does she smell good. What is that?

I just smile uncomfortably at her and nod. I don't really deserve so much praise and gratitude for just doing my job. I just want to get this done quickly, avoid HR, and play one more move against Sven before getting back to my regular stuff.

Hmmm. There's just one picture pinned to the bulletin board, but there's so much paper in front of it that I can't really see it. It must be the one she was looking at earlier, probably a boyfriend or something.

I glance back and boobs… they're just right there, right in my line of sight. Thank goodness she's looking at her phone. I'll just move these papers back a little. It's not a boyfriend, it's her family. Parents and most likely a sister. Anna looks just like mom, who has dark brown hair, but she has her dad's red hair. Her sister's obviously not a natural blonde.

"That's my family." Oh, shit! She caught me snooping. Better than catching me staring at her boobs, I guess. "My parents died a few years ago in a car crash. And my sister's usually away for work. So I like to have them with me."

A few years ago? Meaning she was working here when it happened? How come I didn't ever know about it? And thank goodness she didn't start crying again.

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. I had no idea."

She shrugs. "I never really told anyone here, I mean, except Olaf. Just put in two weeks' vacation time."

Shit. I really had no idea. Now I really feel bad for ignoring her work tickets all those times. I can't believe I put Gina not being able to restart her computer on her own above Anna's real Excel question. Now she seems a little upset with me, probably because I pried into her personal business. I don't really blame her.

"I won't say anything."

"I know. That's why I didn't mind telling you. That, and I know you won't pity me."

Ouch! That's really what she really thinks of me? That I'm cold and mean, and have zero empathy? Of course that's what she'd think of me after always ignoring her help tickets. I hadn't ever really thought of it from her perspective. It kind of stings.

Yeah, this is awkward now, though… It's going to take another 10 minutes to load the program, and she's some mix between sad and pissed (probably at me). I could go back to my office and play the last move… or...

"Are you doing the Secret Santa thing?" Of course I know she is because I drew her name. I was just going to get her a gift card for Bath & Body Shop or whatever. My mom loves that place, and I need to go there anyway to get a gift basket for her.

"Yeah. Are you?"

I shrug. "Olaf kind of strong-armed me into it."

Well, at least she's smiling now.

"I'll probably just get them a gift card." Maybe she'll give me a hint.

"Really? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?"

"What do you mean? Money's fluid, so what difference does it make?" My mom would definitely slap me behind my head if she heard me say that to a girl. But I know that's going to get Anna to talk.

Now she's laughing! Ok, that's good, she's totally forgotten about possibly getting fired. And look at that. The program's done! It only took a few minutes. I'm gonna pretend like I don't know so I can get her answer, though, and maybe hear her laugh again. I know she has to do the report, but I probably won't get another chance to talk to her about this. Do two extra minutes really make a difference?

"A gift card is like saying 'You can go to the trouble of taking yourself to the store and picking something out so I don't have to think about it or put any effort into it'. And then you can never use the right amount. Either you don't use all of it, or you end up having to buy something else and actually pay for part of it when you wouldn't have otherwise. Or you forget it when you go to the store and it just doesn't get used. Really, it's just a waste of money."

Ok… So back to the drawing board then… Glad I asked. Maybe I'll get her a gift basket, too. No, it would be weird picking out a scent for her. What if she actually wore it? What if she never wore it? I honestly don't know which would be worse. Besides, I really like whatever perfume she's wearing. I could smell it all day long and never get sick of it.

"So… then what do you recommend?"

"I don't know. It doesn't have to be obvious or expensive, just something to say you see them just a little."

I'm about to follow that up when she says, "Oh! Look. The program's ready. Does that mean you can restore my document?"

Now she's back to being anxious. I really hope I can get her unsaved changes back for her. I really don't want her to get fired.

"Ok, good news is I got most of your changes. Probably just lost about 10 minutes worth of work."

She frowns. "It's better than nothing. Do you mind?" she asks as she's already started typing. Her boob is dangerously close to my face again.

"Oh, right. Sorry. I'll let you get back to it. Good luck."

She barely even acknowledges me until she turns her head back and says, "Thank you, Kristoff. Really, you're a lifesaver."

Oh, I forgot to email Bob about that software bug. And I need to work on Drew's computer to set him up for working at home. I can't believe I didn't get a chance to handle that today. It'll just have to wait for tomorrow…

"Wait! Hold the door!"

I jam my finger against the "door open" button. That's Anna.

"Oh, Kristoff! Hi! How's it going?" she says as she races in. Yup, that's my favorite shirt. Eyes. Look at her eyes. Ugh. The whole elevator smells like her.

"Oh, good. Yeah. Um, are you on your way to lunch or something?"

"Dentist. You?"

"Oh, my niece Alice is in the talent show at school."

"Really? What's her talent?"

I've never seen her smile like that before. Ugh, I can barely look at her. As pretty as she is, I can't trust myself to look at her because I'll end up staring at her boobs instead. They're pretty much all I've been thinking about for the past couple of days.

"She's lip syncing 'Proud Mary'. She's got the Tina Turner dance down." Eyes.

"Awww! That's sweet! Does she have the sequin dress and everything?" Eyes.

"And the wig. It's pretty cute. Anyway, my brother's stationed overseas, so I just try to be there for her as much as possible, you know?"

"Kristoff, that's so sweet!"

Ding!

Great. Just when she tells me I'm sweet, some fancy guy in a suit gets on the elevator. It's for the best because I have no idea how to respond to that… Awkward silence. Very awkward. But now I can look at her boobs again because she's watching numbers count down. Maybe this guy is at that law firm that has 5 floors and he'll get off on one of those floors. I usually can't stand those guys, but right now I really hope he's one of them so I can be alone with Anna again. She's not looking… I'll just take a quick glance.

Her sweater clings to everything in exactly the right way. And it's just a little see-through and kind of low cut… I don't think she noticed, thank goodness. That was a really close call.

Ding!

Great. Three more people. Then another floor and two more. Why is everyone leaving the office at 2:45 pm!? You'd think it was 12:00 pm or 5:00 pm. But now I'm squished next to Anna, which isn't so bad. Except now I get an even better view and it's really hard not to think about how close they were to my face before. Or how much my face wants to be stuck between them.

Fuck! She saw me. "That's a nice necklace."

"Oh! Thank you!" Now she's touching her chest… Good grief... "It was actually my mom's."

Ding!

Finally!

"Are you going this way?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm parked in the garage. You?"

"Yeah, me, too."

"Cool." If her boobs bounce like that when she's walking, imagine how much more they'd bounce when I take her bra off. Ugh. Not that I'll ever have the chance. And just because we're not "in the office" doesn't mean she couldn't report me to HR. Ok, I'm just looking at the ground. The ground is safe. There's no bouncing on the ground... I'd really rather not trip in front of her anyway, so it's actually the best place to look.

"So, did you figure out what to do for your Secret Santa gift?"

She must not even suspect that it's her.

"Well, I thought about your advice. Something to let them know I see them."

"And?" I can just hear her smile. Just a quick glance. Yeah, that's definitely a smile.

"I don't know. I'm still thinking about it." I already got a gift for her. I got it two days ago after she called me a lifesaver. And Alice already approved it, so I'm feeling pretty confident.

"Well, have fun at the talent show, Kristoff Kringle! I'm sure Alice will be wonderful."

"Thanks. Um, Kristoff Kringle?"

"What? I saw the shot and I had to take it!" I do like her laugh.

"Um, good luck at the dentist?"

"Thanks!" Focus on her eyes, not on her chest.

She waves as she turns around. Oh, the back is just as nice as the front. Definitely enough to hold onto. At least I won't be thinking about her boobs quite as much.

I take my time walking to my car and turning on the engine, just to reflect on the past five minutes. How sweet is that? Kristoff's leaving work early to go to his niece's talent show? That's so adorable. Who knew? And he was totally checking me out! Men always think they can get away with it, but we always know. There were several times in the elevator he looked at my breasts and he was definitely staring at my ass as I walked away. Eeeeeh!

I'm probably thinking too much about this, but maybe he's into me? I'll just run it by Hanna. She's been my hygienist for years, and she's always asking about my love life. She's such a good listener, you know, when she isn't poking and prodding and telling me I need to floss more. I'm sure she can weigh in.

Maybe she has some suggestion of what to get him, because I still have no idea. I did already buy the wrapping paper, though. It was kind of expensive for wrapping paper, but it was too cute not to get. It's just so Kristoff! Not really sure why I think that, I mean, I barely know the guy. It just felt like it was calling his name.

Oh, this is funny! This is hilarious! I crank up the volume.

… love you gave me, nothing else can save me
 SOS
 When you're gone, how can I even try to move on?
 When you're gone, though I try, how can I carry on?

Oh! I know exactly what I'm going to get Kristoff!

A/N: Song credit: "S.O.S." by ABBA