Nagisa's in big trouble.

That's what he thinks, anyway, when he's hit in the head by a baseball. It's not like they're doing serious practise, times have changes since Junior High and he and Sugino are worlds apart when it comes to their athletic abilities. So, Nagisa's probably not concussed from the impact, even though it knocks him back a little and his head's sore.

"Nagisa! Are you okay?!"

No. No he's not okay. And there's no way to explain that to Sugino, not really. Nagisa's never really been a gossip to begin with, admittedly, least of all about his own life. But there's also the factor how utterly illogical and stupid and bad everything is. Maybe Sugino wouldn't openly judge him for it, but that doesn't mean he won't look at him like he's an idiot. Which Nagisa is fully aware he is.

Honestly, that's the entire reason he's spending his Saturday hanging out with Sugino, rather than seeing Karma. Not that he's avoiding him… actively anyway. Truthfully, he doesn't know how he'll react the next time he sees him. It's not like he'll swoon on sight or anything, right? Nagisa's not the swooning type.

"I'm fine," he says, rubbing the back of his head. "It's my fault for not paying attention."

Sugino tilts his head. "Do you want to take a break?"

Nagisa hesitates for a moment. Maybe smashing baseballs around is actually a pretty good coping strategy for how he feels. But… maybe it's better to avoid any further injuries. Besides, it's still early in the day, which means plenty of time for more baseball. Nagisa would have felt bad, since it's the one time of the year Sugino doesn't really have to think about the game, but he clearly loves it so much.

They end up sitting down on the edge of a wall, not talking about much at all. Nagisa enjoys it, honestly. He's known Sugino for long enough that it's not uncomfortable to go a little while without speaking. He really likes how uncomplicated any part of this feels. Considering what the last

He really needs to stop thinking about Karma.

"I was surprised you suddenly wanted to hang out," Sugino says.

Nagisa looks down. "Sorry for springing it on you."

Sugino just waves him off. "Not at all. It's just… No offence, but you're not usually that proactive. Everyone's surprised if you even read the 3E group chat nowadays."

"I've been a little busy…" he admits.

"You mean hanging out with Karma so much?"

He tenses.

Sugino's look grows even stranger. "I didn't say that was a bad thing."

If Sugino wasn't such an honest person, Nagisa would have doubted that. Sugino's never been his biggest fan. It doesn't matter, he's learnt to except. It's not like everyone has to get along. After their shared experience, it's kind of hard for anyone in 3E to dislike another member. And over time, Sugino and Karma were peaceful with each other if they were hanging out with Nagisa. But there's a difference between that and actively liking each other.

"I meant with work, mostly."

"You're coming to the meetup this year though, right?"

Nagisa bites the side of his lip. "P-probably."

"Karma too?"

He feels weird all of a sudden. "I don't really know his plans."

"It's okay to be close friends," Sugino says then, tone patient. "We're not in Junior High anymore. Do I understand that guy? No. But, I can't really judge him. Or you, for being close to him."

"W-what do you mean by that?"

"I didn't mean anything?" Sugino shrugs, but then it's like he's examining him more closely. "Does it mean something?"

Nagisa turns his head away again. He knows that's a pretty solid answer to the question, but he doesn't even want to think about it. Sugino's not usually the type to pry like this… but maybe he is acting a little suspicious. He can tell at least, in contrast to someone like Nakamura, there's concern all over Sugino's face.

"No."

"Okay," Sugino nods.

But he can't help himself. "Why would it mean anything?"

He sighs. "I don't know. There were rumours about it a few years ago, but," he shrugs. "I figured if you had something you wanted to tell me, you would."

"Rumours?!"

Sugino looks like he regrets everything. "Well… You and Karma were just spending a lot of time together. A few people thought you were dating. But you'd know this if you… looked at it."

"They what?!"

He holds his hands up. "I didn't!"

That doesn't make him feel much better.

"We're not dating!"

Sugino squints. "I was talking about years ago, though."

"O-oh." He feels himself heat up.

"So," he says after a beat of silence, "there is something going on?"

Nagisa really thinks for a moment. Sugino will back down, if he asks him to. But the damage has already been done. Maybe Sugino's never been a detective, but he has good senses. So presumably he already knows now. Maybe it's better to actually clear it up, than let him make assumptions. Plus… the capacity to speak to someone other than Karma about it might be nice.

"It's... hard to explain."

"Hard?"

"We're not dating. We just…" he doesn't even know how to phrase it. "Spend time together."

A disgusted look appears on Sugino's face. "I didn't ask for details."

"Sorry!"

Sugino shudders, though. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

And that's exactly why Nagisa had been hesitant to bring it up. Not that he's ever been the type to just share things from his personal life anyway, but… Of course Sugino's not going to just sit there and nod along, if he thinks Nagisa's making a mistake. Is he? Maybe he's just being honest, even if it happens to be the opposite of what he wants to hear.

"It's not what you think," he shifts.

"Do I want to know?"

He balls his hands into fists. "It's more like lessons. I uhm… I had to give some health classes at school, and I didn't have enough experience, in case they wanted to ask questions or something. So he offered to help me, uhm, learn."

Sugino thinks for a moment. "That sounds a little messed up."

"He's just helping me out," he defends. "I-it's not that weird."

"I don't know Nagisa…" he trails off. "Isn't that a bit like taking advantage?"

Isn't it more the other way now? If Nagisa likes him… well that changes things, doesn't it? Like he's been arguing, Karma's only really interested in helping him out a little. If he likes him, and he keeps going with it, then he's getting something extra out of it. It's wrong, isn't it? If Karma's kisses and touches actually mean something to him.

And even without that, Sugino's being way too strong! In fact, the more he thinks about it, the more bothered he is. Is he implying that Karma's seriously using him? He would never do something like… that. Why would Sugino even think of something like that? He knows he's never actually liked Karma, but that feels out of line.

"That's crazy."

"You just said you didn't know what you were doing," he points out.

The part that irritates him is that he knows Sugino has a point, even if it's not for the reasons he means. Sure, the first time there was no telling how much alcohol actually contributed to his decision making. But he doesn't have that excuse anymore. Maybe Karma's smart, but he's not enough of a mastermind to manipulate Nagisa like that without him realising, right?

"It wasn't like that," he defends again. "It wasn't."

"Okay," he says. "So... that's happening but you're still just hanging out as friends?"

Nagisa winces. "I don't know. We're supposed to be. But we don't really do that anymore, not without…"

"Figures. You're too complicated for that kind of relationship."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

His face falls. "It wasn't anything bad! Just… I don't think you can really do a casual thing when you have that much history with someone. Even at the best of times. And this is Karma."

He feels something rise within him. "Why does that matter?"

"Come on Nagisa, he's completely thrown you aside, what, twice?" He has his eyes closed, as though he's reciting something from his head. "I just think something like this will end up hurting you."

"It's not." Bloodlust? What? "And you know what?" He jumps off the wall. "I didn't even ask for your opinion."

"Woah, calm down, okay?" Sugino has a look of concern in his eyes, but that just makes Nagisa feel more annoyed. "I wasn't trying to start a fight with any of this."

Then what was he trying to achieve?

"You just wanted to make me feel bad? I know you don't always get along, but that doesn't mean you should just… accuse him of coercing me or something. I'm not just some clueless kid. A-and I'm capable of making decisions for myself!"

Nagisa turned his heel, then, feeling rage still flowing out of him as he marches towards the nearest train station. Just somewhere, deep in there, there's just a slight amount of shame. What just happened is completely out of character for him. Why was he fighting with Sugino? Especially in public? And why was he being so defensive? Isn't he… kind of acting a bit like Karma? Unfortunately, the angry part wins out.

He is being stupid, isn't he? Maybe part of the reason his and Sugino's friendship works out so well is Sugino doesn't really butt in with advice or something. Nagisa doesn't want advice. He doesn't need it! He's an adult after all. What even is the issue with having sex with Karma anyway? He's attractive, and comfortable to be around. Not to mention really good at it. It would be weirder to not be having sex with Karma. Even though he's not sure how long it's going to last… he doesn't want it to stop. So he's just fine.

Ironically, as if by muscle memory, he gets off at the train stop nearest to Karma's apartment. Well, it's not like he takes the train to too many other places at this point. So, for a moment, he weighs up his option. He can just wait for five minutes on the platform, until the next train comes. Or… since he's already in the general area…

Karma looks a little surprised to see him, still in pyjamas. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I changed my mind," Nagisa pretty much shoves his way inside, closing the door behind him as he works his shoes off without touching them. "Is that a problem?"

He actually looks amused. "No."

Nagisa looks him over, then, before pushing him against the wall with as much force as his smaller body can produce. He weaves his arms around his neck, tugging him down into a kiss. It takes Karma a second to respond, but it's so satisfying when he does. Karma's lips pressed hard against his… it makes Nagisa feel like he's in heaven.

How can something that feels so right be bad?

Right there, his anger resurfaces. This can't be bad for him. Somehow he feels like he has to prove that. To himself. But how? He's known how good kissing Karma feels since the first time it happened. There's something in the back of his mind, a reminder that his is dangerous territory, but he can't really process it. No, he needs something else. He needs to be taken as low as possible.

"I want you to hurt me."

Karma's eyes widen with confusion, head moving back. "Huh?"

Nagisa feels lit up by determination, though, and backs him even further into the wall, his hand taking hold and fiddling with the hem of his T shirt. "I want you to be rough with me. I don't really care how. Just… make it hurt."

"Are you…" there's concern in his eyes. "Feeling okay?"

"I know what I want," he snaps, a little harder than he meant.

"Okay."

Nagisa takes a step back then, like he can't quite believe it. "Okay?"

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

He looks him over. "You remember the word we came up with, right?"

It occurs to Nagisa, right there, just what he's asking for. Actually, it's more that he doesn't know what he's asking for. They came up with a word for times when there really needed to be a direct signal to stop everything. What's Karma planning, if they need it? Instead of nervous, though, he mostly just feels anticipation. He needs this.

"Fish," he says confidently enough, "right?"

"Good," Karma nods, before lurching out and grabbing his wrist, so hard he wonders if he'll end up bruised.

He's yanked into the bedroom like that, and barely has time to process what's happening before he ends up slammed into the wall, the back of his head colliding with it relatively hard. He doesn't even get the chance to say 'ow', before Karma's on him, his whole body trapping Nagisa in. And okay, maybe that's appropriate revenge.

Instead of kissing him again, though, his hands shove under his shirt, pulling it off and over his head before he can even really register what's happening. It feels good, though, like he was too hot before and he didn't even realise it. Karma's pressing so close to him, his t-shirt a strange friction against Nagisa's bare chest. His trousers and underwear come off in a similar way. They seem to be ending up in this position a lot.

Karma's fingers just barely trail the underside of his erection, making him shudder. "Hard already?"

Nagisa wants him to shut up, but before he can retaliate, Karma grabs a fistful of his hair and yanks him around like that. And there it is, the burn he needs most of all. It's so satisfying, even if it's only for a second or two. He's spun around like that, so he's facing the wall fully, practically bracing his entire weight against it.

At least he can still feel Karma like that, even though he can't see him. He feels wonderfully covered, like there's no escape. Karma's hands are rough, gripping hard as they trace the line from his shoulders, down his torso and his waist, before finally reaching his ass. Nagisa's not out of it enough to not feel the embarrassment from that yet, but it's hard for him to even care when he digs his nails in, or to hold back his natural whimper. In fact, Nagisa ends up spreading his legs a little on instinct.

He mutters something, then, though it's almost unintelligible.

"Karma?" He turns his head a little, peering over his shoulder.

Karma squeezes even harder in response. "Stay still."

Before he can even think to question why, a somewhat soft slap comes to the back of his thigh. Well, he and Karma have fought many times in the past. Nagisa knows what his full strength feels like, and it's far from this. It still stings just a little, though, like mini shockwaves or buzzes along his nerves. Shamefully, it makes him jut his ass out a little, wanting to feel that but where it's even more sensitive.

He hears Karma audibly swallow, before another smack actually comes down on his left cheek. It's a little harder, and it feels even better. Just like before, a satisfying burn. Apparently his reaction is enough, because then he gets slapped again, and properly this time. Nagisa gasps out without meaning to, since that our actually did hurt.

Karma effectively rubs him, then, which only increases the sensitivity, rather than soothes. Though, he realises when he digs his nails in just a bit, that's probably the intention. When the next smack comes, he sounds out. He's sensitive there, now, and it burns twice as hot as it realistically should. But why does it still feel good? Nagisa knows he's the one who asked for it, but he wasn't expecting... this.

He moves to the other side, then, and somehow that feels just as sensitive, despite not having been touched yet. Nagisa lets out what can only be considered a kind of mewl. This is somehow exactly what he needed. Yet, he still wants more. Like he wants Karma to claw his way into him and tear him apart from the inside out.

Nagisa feels him, then, pressed up against his back. He keens into it slightly, arching back against him. He can't help but think about how nice it would be just to have Karma's arms around him entirely. Not that they can really get closer than this, anyway. He supposes his imagination doesn't have to be limited to real life physics.

But then he hears the hint of a laugh.

"W-what?"

Karma clears his throat. "I've never tried this with someone so small. I don't think we can line up like this." He pauses. "New plan."

New plan?! What's that supposed to mean? He forgets the question, though, when he feels Karma bend down, biting the tip of his ear lightly. It's not good or bad, just strange. What he likes more is the feeling of him there, his breath tickling against his skin. His hand goes to his ass again, now sore enough that he lets out a light hiss.

"Stay there," Karma says.

It's not like he can go anywhere, with the way his legs are already trembling a little. There's a pit in his stomach, a mixture between fear and anticipation. You asked for this, he reminds himself. Still, he can't stop himself from jolting when something hard is pressed against him again. It's weird…somewhat wrong feeling.

"Remember this?" Karma says lightly, and suddenly the vibrations switch on.

He jerks away automatically, the sensation confusing. But Karma's persistent, and now he has nowhere to go. He's not sure he can take another session like that. It's already making him hypersensitive and he's barely even done anything. He's frozen like that, just about hearing the sound of the lube bottle being opened.

Karma really doesn't take much time with it, barely even thumbing at his entrance before he pushes the vibrator in, albeit slowly. Even if it is smaller than him, it's enough to make Nagisa wince and bite down on his lip, and not in the most pleasurable way. But there it is again, that burn that strikes him all over. He can't help but moan, as it's pushed all the way inside, followed by just a couple of thrusts in and out.

The vibrations stop right then.

He's spun around yet again all of a sudden, but this time Karma's hand comes down hard on his shoulder, the weight of him too much to take. He stumbles down to his knees like that, dizzy and dazed. A shot of pain goes through his legs, from being pushed onto the floor so roughly, but it's the least of his concerns. As if by clockwork, he shifts himself so he's kneeling properly.

Karma looks down like that, eyes heavy with their characteristic glint. And Nagisa knows what he wants.

It turns out to be what Karma wants, too, because he pulls down his pyjama bottoms just enough to release his own erection. In the back of Nagisa's mind, he's kind of annoyed that Karma made fun of him when he's this hard already, leaking precum in fact, without being touched yet either. But he can't be too mad at a time like this, not really.

"Open your mouth," Karma says steadily.

Nagisa's a little confused about why he's being asked, but he obeys.

Karma's breath hitches a little. "If you can't breathe, just hit me really hard on the leg, okay?"

He can't ask what he means by that, because suddenly he's shoving himself in. Of course Nagisa splutters and chokes in surprise. Even though he knows he can take Karma to the base, it's completely different when he's concentrating on doing so. Nagisa's not actually doing anything, there's no contribution except being a warm place to put it.

All he can do is just take.

Karma's hand is in his hair, gripping him fiercely. In a sense, Nagisa's almost glad for that, because he's not sure how well he'd manage to hold himself up alone. He's barely even managing it as it is. Apparently Karma's not interested in any kind of build up, because he's essentially thrusting in and out of his mouth as fast as he can, so deep Nagisa's nose is almost hitting his pelvis as he does it.

He tries squeezing his thumbs, breathing through his nose, anything he can to hold on. He's not going to tap out. Even though he's basically choking. At the very least, he gets to hear Karma's near pained groans above him. He'd like to look up, absorb his look, but he just can't. His eyes are watering under the ministrations. More shameful still, he's pretty sure he's not holding in the saliva his mouth is so desperately attempting to produce.

Like this, he could be anyone. He's not doing anything, except simply being there. Just something usable. That's what the issue was, right? That Karma might be using him? Maybe even just like this. And yet… Nagisa tries his best to open his eyes a little, and Karma is indeed looking down at him. Maybe Nagisa's just seeing things the way his heart wants to, but there's something in there. Karma's still looking at him. And Nagisa… the only reason Karma gets to do this is he wanted it. He asked.

The thought, stoked by the subconscious shift of his hips and the vibrator inside him, makes him moan with a new kind of desperation. Maybe he can't breathe well, and maybe his jaw has its own kind of deep ache, but he's okay here. In fact, somehow it's the best he's felt all day. It's as if, just by being under Karma's hands, he knows he's safe.

Karma's groan turns high pitched and open, before he yanks himself out of Nagisa's mouth and strokes himself for about a millisecond. It's enough for Nagisa to realise, at this point, to close his eyes. Though, he's not breaking his one instruction either, and keeps his mouth just as open. He feels his release hot against his face and chest, and a fair amount of it.

"Hah…" Karma breathes out, almost like he's trying to speak.

Nagisa gulps, finally closing his mouth, which is quite the challenge. It's like Karma remoulded it to just be open like that.

Being yanked up again doesn't surprise him this time. It's as though he's just accepted it as the only way he can possibly move. Though… aren't things almost over already? Karma certainly doesn't seem finished though, kissing him like he's desperate for water after not drinking for five days. All Nagisa can do is try his best to return it, but his mouth feels so week all he can do is vaguely move his lips.

Karma's hand strokes the inside of his thigh, which feels oddly nice for a moment, before he repositions it beside his own hip. His other hand reaches round the back of him, and just like that Nagisa's lifted up again, back and head slammed against the wall. If he doesn't end up with a concussion after this…

It does mean his own erection is pressing into Karma's hard stomach, though, and that the toy shifted once again inside him. Even though his back is supported, the position requires quite a bit of strength in his core. Strength he barely possesses. He half expects Karma to just slam into him there, forgetting that he's already filled, and that Karma only just came. He's not that super human…

He reaches underneath, then, turning the vibrator on again. Nagisa can only cry out, scrambling at Karma's shoulders for purchase. He moves it, just barely, in the faintest grind he possibly could. And Nagisa… he's so powerless. Karma's literally holding his shaking body in his arms. But he can't even bring himself to care.

It's then that he remembers just how he must look. He can't see himself… but he can imagine. How swollen red his lips must be, considering how they feel. How Karma came all over him, already started to dry on his skin like a mark. Maybe it should freak him out some more, considering how the thought makes him clench down. He can't help but think, when he looks at Karma then, that he might be thinking the same things.

This eye contact feels heavy… complicated.

He moans into it, when Karma kisses him again like that. Something within him redoubles its efforts, like a second spark of energy. It's basically impossible, but Nagisa still tries to wrap himself even tighter around Karma. He bites his lip, then, and since his teeth are so damn sharp a metallic taste fills Nagisa's mouth. He still doesn't hate it.

"Okay," Karma says, pulling away from him.

Apparently 'okay' means another quick spin, because like that Nagisa's suddenly tossed. He lands hard on the bed, unsure of how much distance he just cleared. It causes the vibrator to shift really awkwardly, too, but Karma practically pounces like that, taking it out of him. Nagisa feels so ready for it immediately, though he's confused about how Karma can do it again so soon.

He leans down, then, and sucks a kiss onto his jaw. Nagisa's back arches into it, twisting to the side and he travels down his neck. He is on edge for a moment, though, thinking about the possibility of marks. Thankfully, Karma's pretty quick about it until he gets until at least his collarbone, where he sucks against his skin hard, digging his teeth in just a little.

He's unreasonably turned on.

"Karma," he ends up whining, just as he's practically biting his nipple. "I'm-"

Karma raises his head, a devious look on his face. "Hmm?"

He turns his head to the side, not entirely sure what he even wanted to say. "M-more."

Apparently that's his cue to pinch him, which isn't exactly pleasurable. In fact, Nagisa just yelps. Is that what more meant? He doesn't even know. He already feels a little better, but still a little unravelled. Still like he needs to be burnt some more. Every strong press of Karma's hands against him, though… that certainly feels good.

"I'm already pretty hard again you know?" Karma says lowly, grinding against him briefly as if to prove it.

His repose to that isn't verbal.

Karma swallows. "Are you gonna take responsibility? It's just how you look right now. I wish I could show you. Can I?"

Nagisa's not entirely sure what he's asking, but he nods anyway.

He wasn't expecting Karma to get off the bed at that, though. Admittedly, he whines a little, because really he wants him to come back. Karma... he feels too weird, too raw without him covering him. Thankfully Nagisa gets his wish in just a couple of seconds, because he returns with a slight bounce as he straddles him again, holding his phone in front of him.

"Say cheese," he says, grinding the back of his palm against Nagisa's own erection.

Of course, he can't really say anything at all. Nagisa ends up moaning, because he'd almost forgotten how much he needed to be touched there. Through it all, he's actually throbbing with need. He doesn't even care what Karma's doing, just moans and gasps at every touch. And then he feels his fingers enter him, and he can barely even think.

"Karma," he gets out.

He leans forward, biting him lightly on the ear again. "If you're really that inpatient, then."

He shoves into him like that, pretty much to the hilt. Nagisa might have screamed, if not for choking in surprise. It's not like he hasn't been opened up at all, but it still feels like it's out of nowhere. The burn that causes inside him is like its own kind of perfection. Like he's being split open in a way that somehow makes sense. All he can do is hold on immediately.

Karma barely gives him a second, before he leaves his body almost completely and slams in again. It's almost far too much, but somehow exactly what he needed. Nagisa decides to grip onto the sheets, at least, as though that'll somehow hold him steady. He is vaguely aware, though, of how the space is shifting him across the bed slightly, and how the force of it is seriously banging against the wall.

He's pretty sure Karma says something, but he can't tell exactly what. It doesn't really matter know, because the next thing he knows Karma's pulling out completely, and he ends up flipped around. Just like this, Nagisa knows he can't really hold himself up on his knees properly. Thankfully Karma senses that too, gripping him nicely at the waist.

This time, he manages to go even harder, to the point Nagisa actually can't breathe too well. Even the slap of his hips against his ass hurts, possibly due to their earlier activities. He's deep in him too, like this. Probably too deep. Not that Nagisa actually cares. No, this is just too perfect. Even when Karma grabs him by the hair, yanking him up even more.

Just like before, with his throat, there's a part of him that feels used. He knows how intensely good Karma can make it if he really wants to. He knows exactly where his prostate is like 'x' on a map. This isn't about how he feels. That doesn't matter somehow. He weakly tries to meet his thrusts back into it too, as though that'll somehow help him.

He tries to say Karma's name, because he's already so close. But it comes out more like "uh ma", honestly.

Karma half growls, wrapping his other arm around his body, practically leaning down on top of him. He feels nice, warm. All it takes is one lick to the back of his neck, and the full force of Karma's body for his knees to really give out. He's so close. So close. Just being ground into the mattress like this feels like it might be enough. He clenches his eyes shut, preparing himself.

Apparently Karma decides the position isn't effective enough, though, flipping him over yet again. Nagisa peels an eye open, just for a bit, and the remainder of his blood rushes straight to his crotch. Karma's above him like that, panting for breath. He's dripping in sweat from the exertion, hair wet looking and stuck to his forehead. And his eyes, they're lidded and heavy. He looks so good…

Karma grabs his leg, then, throwing it over his shoulder as he slides in again. Nagisa can only sound out, curling his toes at the new angle. Karma holds onto him like that, almost using it as a pivot. Even that's not enough, apparently, because then he takes his other leg and does the same. A part of him misses the hot feeling of being able to squeeze around Karma's waist, but this position is definitely interesting. He's so deep in him, and going just as hard.

He bends forwards, then, and Nagisa's body is almost completely in half. Like he might snap at any moment. It's past his limits and it's amazing. He whines like that, defeated, as Karma strikes his insides just in the right way. The only real warning he gets himself is the way his legs begin to shake, and the weight drops in his stomach.

His release seems to last a while. It's inherently different from the sensations he's most used to, considering his erection is being neglected for the most part. He jerks himself through it instinctually, but this time… the feeling is much stronger inside him, spreading slowly through his whole body. Finally, it's like coming to a kind of peace.

Just faintly, at the point it might be too much, he feels Karma pulsing inside him. He's frozen on top of him, letting out a particularly heavy groan before he lets Nagisa's legs off his shoulders. For some reason, though, Nagisa doesn't want to let go just yet. Instead, he uses what little strength he has to curl them around Karma's back, his arms following into a really odd hug.

He really likes Karma's weight, even if it slightly cuts off his airway. Thankfully, Karma gets it together enough to shift a little, though he's still very much on top of him as they mutually gasp to regain their breaths together. Like that, Karma's hand is actually pretty close to his head, so close that Nagisa feels like he could almost lean into it.

Karma looks so good like this. Nagisa can't exactly put his finger on what it is, but… The way Karma's eyes widen when he looks at him. He likes that. Almost like Nagisa's the only person in the world to him. He flushes (if that's even possible) and turns his head away at the thought. Of course not. That's just his stupid heart and his stupid mind working in tandem to torment him. He can't even mind it, though. Not when everything feels good, like a warm buzz.

Despite all of that, he does wince when he pulls out, having forgotten how sensitive he currently is. Thankfully, Karma barely moves at all, essentially wrapping his arms around him and drawing him in. Like this, Nagisa feels like he could fall asleep forever. This… this is nice. A part of him wishes he could just cuddle with Karma any time, because he really does feel safe here. Satisfied. He's proven that, hasn't he? No matter how much Karma can hurt him… it's nice with him.

"Hey," Karma says gently, "you don't want to leave that much longer."

"Hm?" He gets out.

Karma lets out a half laugh. "Your face. I messed it up, remember?"

Oh, right. "Mmph," he lets out.

"Nagisa~" he drawls out, reaching around for something. "Don't you want to see?"

"Huh?"

He blinks, then, looking at the phone screen Karma now has in front of his face. It takes his eyes a couple of seconds to adjust, before he realises what he's looking at and nearly shrieks. It's a picture of him… except it isn't. It looks more like something from an exaggerated porno. His face and chest are red, his eyes are watering, and his mouth is hung open. Not to mention the bruises all over his chest, or the dried cum still over him from earlier. It's… he feels so separated from it, because it's so far from him. He really looked like that? Logically, he does know it's him in the photo, but he can't feel it.

"Why did you-"

"You said I could," he reminds, scrolling to the next one which is even worse. And then another, which is presumably his ass. It looks so red and angry… "Almost makes me want to go again."

"Y-you will delete those, right?!" It's about then he realises how sore his throat is, because the words are much quieter and less forceful than he wanted.

Karma sighs, practically shoving the phone in front of his face as he taps the delete button. "See? They're gone."

He relaxes a lot almost instantly. "Okay."

After reaching over to put the phone back down on the bedside table, Karma turns back and pulls him into another kind of hug. It feels really nice, actually, though Nagisa's less out of his mind than the last time they did this. Regardless, he still wants to hold onto Karma as much. This is bad, isn't it? He knows Karma won't hurt him… but there's nothing to say he won't hurt himself.

"We should probably go shower," Karma says eventually.

Nagisa nods weakly, waiting patiently for Karma to get up first and help pull him to his feet. The second he takes a step, he realises how much pain he's actually in. It shoots through his legs like that, and honestly it doesn't feel pleasant at all. Maybe they took it too far? Okay, probably definitely. But it had felt so good at the time…

This is probably the most he's had to limp. They do make it, though, and he glances himself in the mirror for just a second. Unfortunately for him, it's not far off the photo at all. He looks ruined. His hair is all over the place, Karma's release is prominent on his face, and he's just swollen. And that's not even mentioning the bruises he can see on his torso, some of which are hickeys, but there's also what looks like finger shaped marks on his waist. Nobody should be okay with this.

Karma's arms surround him, then, turning him away and into the direction of the shower. Right. Don't look. That seems to be what he means, anyway. All Nagisa can do is swallow the lump in his throat and do it. At least the shower spray feels nice, just the perfect temperature. What he can tell, though, is that it's going to hurt even more tomorrow.

Was this a mistake?

"You know," Karma spins him around so they're facing each other, and takes a wash cloth to his face. It feels so soothing he practically keens into it. "You didn't explain why you suddenly showed up."

He looks at the floor. "I was… mad about something."

"Usually when you want to use someone to vent, they're meant to be the punching bag, not you."

He flushes. Maybe this kind of was using Karma. Isn't that terrible? "I'm sorry-"

"Did I say I was mad?" Karma half smirks. "If anything, I'm flattered you thought sex with me was gonna solve your problems."

"I didn't-"

He waves him off, dragging the cloth across his chest. "Did it work?"

"I'm not sure," Nagisa looks back at him again properly.

Karma sighs, and Nagisa's not entirely sure how to take it until he cups his cheek and kisses him softly. That, right there, is nice. At the very least, he does feel calm right now. And it's pretty difficult to think about anything Sugino said whilst naked in the shower with Karma. They're fine like this. Nagisa can't even dream of giving it up.

…Though maybe that's the issue here.

Karma's going to run out of things to teach him eventually. Most people don't have sex like this, right? They've basically covered all reasonable bases already. Nagisa knows what sex is like now, he knows a lot of what he likes, and how to make someone else feel good. This kinky stuff… there's still a finite amount of it they'd be willing to try. And then what? They just shake hands and never talk about it again? Knowing him and Karma… that's probably possible actually. But he knows he wouldn't feel good about it. So then they just keep sleeping together forever? Appealing as it sounds, there's no way that'll work either. Not when he already craves more. Whatever 'more' means.

Maybe he should just admit how he feels.

The thing is, Nagisa knows even less about dating and relationships than he did about sex. And surely that's the goal, isn't it? Person A tells person B they like them, and then they agree to be a couple. Or just savage rejection, that could also happen. Karma's impossible to really read at the best of times. Nagisa can tell when he's up to no good, or when he's lying through his teeth, but other than that? He's a mystery. The idea of Karma returning his feelings… he really doesn't know. On the one hand, Karma has no reason to kiss him like he is now, on the other… Karma lives by his own logic. If Nagisa says something, it might just make it awkward and end with Karma avoiding him forever.

Karma breaks the kiss, looking down at him again. Nagisa just wants to melt into him. That soft half smile, slight flushed cheeks… it's unfair. Nagisa's never cared about this kind of thing, never felt the rush from just being looked at. The closest he can pit it against is when they were in first year together back in junior high, when Karma saw he was reading about Sonic Ninja and asked him to go see the film with him. It feels similar to rush that came when he realised Karma even knew his name.

"What?" Karma half murmurs.

"I-"

He rolls his eyes. "I know your thinking face."

"My back hurts," Nagisa says.

Karma turns him around like that, grabbing him the shoulders. It's not quite a massage, but he runs his hands down his back. It's nice enough, if not still sore. Though, that's probably from being bent in the way he was. That, too, will probably hurt for a few days. He feels better about it now, though, with Karma spending so much time on this. He's not just a convenient thing.

If dating is the only good outcome of a confession, is that really what he wants? Nagisa doesn't even know, not really. He just wants this… plus maybe being closer. Kissing him and holding him just because he can. Is that what dating is? It's confusing, because Karma still feels like his friend. He's not really thinking about all of that stuff when they're doing normal things like watching something or playing a video game. Maybe dating changes that… like cuddling on the sofa or something. Does he even want that, though? He can't have it both ways, right?

It would feel weird, to be dating Karma. Even imagining calling it like that… calling Karma his boyfriend or something. It's weird!

Does that mean he doesn't even really like him, then? Because he's pretty confident on that part of all this. Or maybe these feelings really are just caught from the sex, maybe they'd go away if they stopped… but Nagisa doesn't want to stop. That thought feels worse than any of the others. A part of him regrets not just having the dumb romantic drama when he was younger, because then at least he'd have some idea what to do here.

Of course, he knows what dating someone looks like at least. It's a lot of holding hands and posting Instagram photos together and sharing milkshakes and sending 'adorable' stickers to each other on LINE. Nagisa doesn't even have an Instagram account. If he confesses his feelings to Karma and he accepts them does that mean he has to make one? He hates taking photos of himself, and his food isn't interesting enough to show off online. What pictures would he even post on his feed? Maybe paper crafts?

"Can I try something?"

Nagisa's knocked out of his thoughts. "U-uh okay?"

He doesn't look over his shoulder to see what he's doing… maybe to spare himself. Karma grabs his ass, though, and he figures he's okay with that.

Realistically, he knows Karma wouldn't force him onto any social media platforms. He doesn't strike him as the type to be out there with his relationships. He's never even really talked to Nagisa about any in the past. That's good, right? That's compatibility! He also can't picture Karma sending him cutesy LINE stickers… but maybe the hand holding would be nice. Karma's hands are warm, after all. So then what would happen? He'd say something like 'I like you, please go out with me', Karma would agree, and then they'd hold hands places?

He can't just say something like that though, right? People always have confession stories. Not that Nagisa has couple friends, that weren't his friends before they got together at least. But there needs to be something. It's Valentines Day vaguely soon, maybe he should get chocolate or something. But it's weird for a guy to be giving chocolates. So White Day? But then, it's weird for a guy to receive chocolates then too. What's the procedure when you're both guys? Maybe there should be another day.

Unfortunately, Nagisa doesn't really have too much time to theorise Valentines Gay, because right then he feels something wet pressed up against his asshole. He almost shrieks, and just about stops himself from falling over by bracing his weight against the wall. What? He does take a peek, and actually shrieks a little with the realisation. Because Karma's face is buried there.

This is… is he insane? That can't be… Isn't this kind of…? Admittedly, though, at the next firm swipe of Karma's tongue, he can't exactly complain. His legs spread a little automatically, and he finds himself keening into it. It feels so weird, and yet… good in its own way. Karma's just licking at him, where he's been abused so far, and it's debilitating.

It feels even better when he reaches between his legs with his hand, stroking his newly reformed erection. It's too much, though, a different kind of pain than earlier but pain none the less. His legs are trembling as he does it, dipping his tongue inside ever so slightly and sucking. The yelp he lets out is near humiliating, more so than the act itself, and he gets off just like that. He can't have been doing it for even five minutes…

Karma catches him like it's nothing, when his legs give out from under him, and he's essentially on his lap. He presses a kiss to his forehead like that, stroking his arms. It's like he expected this.

Panting desperately, he turns his head around. "Wha-"

Karma just shrugs. "I don't know, just felt like it. Never done that before."

"Huh…"

"But your ass is so nice," he squeezes again. "I couldn't help it."

"…"

His hand runs down Nagisa's side, causing him to shudder. "Don't tell me out of everything that's what makes you lose it?"

All Nagisa can do is clutch at his arm, holding them together closer.

"I came twice," he explains, "it was only fair. Do you want a bath?"

Nagisa shakes his head.

"Am I gonna have to carry you or something?" Karma slides him off carefully, getting himself to his feet.

For a moment, Nagisa just stares up at him blankly, before Karma reaches down to offer him an arm. Everything still hurts, trying to get up again, but he does manage it. Maybe it's the steam, maybe it's whatever just happened, but he feels dizzy. At the very least, it's good to have Karma there. For a moment, it looks like he's about to try and kiss him, and at the very least Nagisa has enough sense to yank away at the idea of that.

"You'd better brush your teeth," Nagisa finally says. "Don't come near me after that."

Karma just laughs. "I kissed you after a blowjob though."

"That's different!" It comes out whinier than he meant it.

He just tilts his head. "How?"

"I-it just is!"

"Mmhmm," he says noncommittally. "Well," he wraps a towel around his waist, and tosses one to Nagisa, before venturing over to the sink. "I'll brush my teeth then, but I only one brush so no kissing for you."

He frowns. "What, you can put your tongue in my ass but a toothbrush crosses the line?"

Karma shoots him a look, before fake raising the pitch of his voice. "'It just does', right?"

Why is he the worst? Not that Nagisa has any desire to borrow his toothbrush. Actually, the idea grosses his out a lot. But he can still be annoyed at Karma acting like this. The worst. At the very least, he figures he should probably work on drying himself off, rather than just watching Karma like an idiot. He even elects to leave the room in search of his clothes.

They feel horrible. His trousers, like always, fit loose on him. Yet, they don't feel too different from skin tight. The material hurts his skin in ways he really hadn't expected, but there's nothing he can do about it. Unless Karma has something made out of pure silk or something… not that it would even fit him. He just knows he's going to strip them straight off the second he gets home.

Home. Something in his chest tightens. It's not even that late, really. And he doesn't want to leave. It's not like he always leaves right after they finish, usually Karma cooks something for him and they hang out some. The idea of eating makes him want to hurl, though. After his insides just got tossed around so much… But then what? Just sit on Karma's sofa for a few hours? He invited himself here, anyway.

Karma comes back in, then, grabbing a fresh pair of pyjamas. "So."

His head picks up. "So?"

"I'm thinking, we need to expand the scope of our classes," Karma says.

A shot of fear goes through him. Expand?! From what just happened?! What else?

"Like how?" He attempts to ask casually.

Karma shrugs, getting the top over his head. "I'm not that worried about your skill in bed. Really, A+ or whatever. Of course I take the credit for that, it's not a surprising result. But there's no point in that if you don't know how to use it. And as much as I enjoy it when you just show up, you can't really rely on that. So, practical trip next time? Like, you wouldn't believe the amount of suggestion you can use over a dinner."

"You mean like a date?"

He pauses for a moment. "Yeah, kind of. Something like that."

Nagisa gets to his feet. "Okay."

"Re-" Karma starts, but then clears his throat. "Okay, but you better be prepared."

Nagisa's not fully sure in what sense he means, but he nods anyway. "I got it. Uhm, I'm probably going to head home now, but message me about it, okay?"

Karma nods. "Yeah, okay."

It's all he can do to supply a smile his way, unsure of exactly what to do. It's not like Karma usually has to walk him out, but… Well, it does seem like he just wants to stay in his bedroom. Nagisa takes that as his symbol to lower his head briefly and leave, thwarted only by how much it hurts to put his shoes on. He needs to start investing in some slip ons.

But he knows things are going to be okay, that's the main thing. The cool air really strikes him as he steps outside and shuts the door behind him. It's already dark out, and it's a lot windier than it had been earlier. It's nice, though, against the exposed parts of his skin. Soothing, almost. Maybe it's just for a lesson, but he's happy about this date thing.

"Ahem," a clearing of a throat makes him joke. "How are you doing, Nagisa kun?"

Nagisa twists with mild horror. Directly behind him is Karma's elderly neighbour, Hisaishi san. The elderly neighbour who knew his name before they met because… oh no… he'd completely forgotten about that detail. Like he'd mentally blanked it from his mind. And he knows for a fact, the last few times would have been even louder than before… he wants to bury himself six feet under.

"Nottoobadthankyou," he gets out quickly, desire to run off as soon as acceptable building.

She just smiles, though. "Come over for tea sometime, hm? You're in the area often enough."

"I'm sorry," he says, not entirely sure why he's apologising.

Once again, she's just nodding. "By the way, you might want some of this." She takes out a bottle, tossing it over to him. Looking at it, it reads 'aloe vera'. "Apply it generously a couple of times a day, it can be really soothing."

Nagisa practically sprints out of there with his tail between his legs. Gags. Gags are the next thing they're doing.