July 19, 2003
My entire life I have been praised for not being the kind of person who panics in stressful situations. That role was always left for my brother. As strong and amazing as he is, he has always been prone to panic when put in situations where he didn't know what to do. Right now I am in one of those precarious situations, and I am getting close to panicking. The past week or so some strange occurrences have been popping up across the country. However, they seemed to be isolated incidents according to the news.
But in the early hours of this morning, things seemed to take a turn for the worse. I don't have a good idea what is going on, because the old television in my apartment conveniently quit working yesterday. From my understanding of the 'isolated incidents' that occurred earlier in the week, some kind of virus is spreading. This virus is not just a flu. It is something deeper; something malicious. The virus infects humans and alters them into something despicable. Without a television or radio I have no clue on the severity of what the virus turns humans into.
All I know is that there is havoc outside my window. Down the road I can see a car that was set ablaze hours ago. I had been hearing a stream of constant screams, but they have since fizzled out.
All of my loved ones are currently on a camping trip several hours away. The only phone they have is my dad's work phone. I've been calling for hours. It always goes to voicemail.
Pick up, pick up, pick up. I try calling my dad yet again, but to no avail. The phone slips from my hands and hits the linoleum floor, cracking in the process. My body slides down the side of the kitchen countertops against my will. My clenched fists pitifully fall to my sides. I don't have any idea what to do next.
Three loud bangs come from my front door. My head slowly turns toward the sound. I sit still in fear until I hear a familiar voice on the other side of the door, "Bea, are you in there? It's me!"
Upon hearing the panicked familiar voice I rush to the door, fumbling to unlock it. I throw it open to lay my eyes on a sight that fills me with relief. Nick Randall stands at my front door in all of his tall, awkward glory. I pull him inside and relock the door for our protection.
We embrace in a tight hug. I have no idea how or why he's here but I am incredibly thankful to see him. I've missed him the past two weeks. "Nick, what the hell is going on?"
He puts his hands on my shoulders and bends down quite a bit to maintain eye contact with me. "Bea, I need you to listen carefully. We still don't know exactly what is going on. My uncle has been trying to listen to the radio, but the connection is kind of spotty. All we know is shit is getting bad out there and people are eating other people-"
"Wait, what?" I interject, in complete disbelief. I knew that things were bad, but people eating other people seems too far fetched to be true. However, I also know that Nick would never lie to me.
He continues, "Please just listen, okay? I know things are really bad, but we've gotta' get back to our families at the campsite."
He's right, so I leave him to collect my belongings. It takes me only a few minutes to grab everything of importance. When I return, Nick is sitting on my couch biting his nails. He shoots up when I approach him. He pulls a gun from his bag. "Your dad sent me with this for protection, but I figure you're a better shot than I am."
Growing up in the country and being the daughter of Patrick Porter meant that I learned to shoot a gun at a fairly young age. I take the gun from Nick and tuck it into my waist band after making sure the safety is on. "I may be a better shot with a pistol, but you can at least actually shoot a rifle."
"It's gotta' be the brain, or else they won't go down," Nick tells me.
"Have you killed one?" I ask.
"No, but your brother did."
Nick and I leave my apartment hand in hand. The feeling of our hands intertwined shoots imaginary sparks up my arms. Even though I'm positive I won't be back here, I lock my door out of habit.
We have to run to Nick's car to avoid a few of the dead. I offered to take them out with my gun, but Nick advised against it. We need to save our bullets. The dead are terrifying to see up close. Some have missing limbs, while others have large bites encompassing their rotting flesh.
Once safely inside Nick's car we set off for the campground. There are remnants of burnt vehicles, bodies of those who didn't come back, and wandering bodies of those who did come back. For most of our time driving we don't see any living people, nor do we talk much.
After a couple hours, the sun sets. The street lights are out in most of the towns we drive through. Nick was not only having trouble seeing the round, he was also having trouble remembering the way back to the campsite. His temper was starting to come out, so I thankfully convinced him to pull over for the night.
We pull into an abandoned lot. Nick still makes sure his parking is perfect, despite it not being important anymore. I wonder how long we will hold onto the normalities from our previous lives.
Both Nick and I leave his car to close the gate of the fence that surrounds the parking lot. On the way back to the car a man jumps out of the shadows, shakily aiming a gun at us.
"Are you- are you going to rob us?"
Nick moves in front of me. "Hey man, we're just trying to get back to our family. We don't want to rob anyone!"
The man's eyes flicker between us. As he lowers his gun, a woman and two children run to his side. "It's okay, Jess," he tells her. "Get Alex and Vanessa back to the car."
The rest of the family scampers back to their car on the other side of the lot. Nick and I are both standing stoically with our hands up, unsure whether or not we are truly safe.
"I apologize for that. We had a run-in with a couple of bad people earlier, and we barely made it out. I'm just trying to protect my family."
From behind Nick I can see his fists clenching in anger at the man pointing a gun at us. To avoid altercation I put myself in between the two men. "We understand. If it's okay with you we're going to stay here for the night."
"Have a nice night." The man nods and heads back to his car.
Once inside the car Nick starts in, "Dumb fucker really pulled a gun on us!"
I take his hand in mine and force him to look at me. His face, contorted in anger, quickly softens when he sees me.
We sit in silence for a few minutes until Nick speaks up, "So, how has living in the apartment been?"
"Pretty boring," I tell him. "I've gotten used to it, but I missed everyone like crazy. How was the camping trip?"
"It was going pretty well until dead people tried to eat us. We had to move the RV out of the main camping area because it got messy pretty fast."
"Thank you for coming to get me, Nick. I don't know what I would've done."
"Of course, Bea," he answers sincerely before changing the subject. "Hey, did you happen to get any… action recently?"
I look at Nick. His eyes are trained on the floor of his car, and his face is beet red. "No, Nick, I haven't had sex in awhile."
"Oh yeah, me too. I haven't had sex in a little awhile…"
When he spoke, he scratched the back of his neck. I recognize that move anywhere. Ever since we were children, Nick would scratch the back of his neck when he lied.
He looks up at me, and when he does I stare deep into his eyes to ask him a question, "Nick, are you a virgin?"
He turns away before I even finish the question. "Okay, maybe I am, but it's not like I could ever find someone to like me and-"
"Would you like to not be one anymore?"
"What?" he asks.
My breathing picks up. I can't believe I just said that to him. Honestly, this is something that I have wanted since I was a teenager. Maybe it was a bad idea, but at this point I can't seem to care. Dead people have started to roam the Earth. I'm likely going to have to spend the next few months or even years living in an RV in close quarters with my entire family. If I want one last chance to get with Nick, this is it. "You heard me."
"Bea, I mean... I don't know. What about your brother?"
"He'll never need to know. Think about it. We're going to have to spend who knows how long living in an RV with our families. Or we could die tomorrow. This could be our last chance to experience this."
I maneuver my way to the back seat with ease. Nick on the other hand struggles. I've had sex in a car a few times with my ex, but I don't think this time it will be as easy or comfortable. Nick's car isn't very big, and Nick is pretty tall.
He finally slumps down in the back seat with a grunt. I don't waste any time lowering myself on his lap. His hands snake their way under my shirt to hold me in place.
"Are you okay?" I ask him. I can already feel his excitement through his jeans, but I can also tell that he seems a bit nervous.
"I'm more than okay." He pulls me closer. "I just want to make sure that I make you feel good."
I move so that our foreheads are pressed together. "I don't think that will be a problem."
July 20, 2003
Sunlight flows through the windows when I awake. The sun is not high in the sky yet, so I assume it rose within the hour. The sky still has remnants of the beautiful pinks and oranges caused by a sunrise.
I sit up slowly and realize what I had been sleeping on. Throughout the night, my head had been resting on Nick's bare thigh. He's still sleeping to my right with his head leaned against the car door, soft snores coming from his mouth. I imagine his neck will be sore when he wakes up.
The night before was quite eventful. After I made the sexual offer to Nick, I imagined we would awkwardly fool around for a few minutes. To my delight, I was wrong. Nick kept me up half the night for three rounds. I wouldn't expect three rounds in one night from an experienced person, let alone a virgin. I'm worn out, but I don't regret it. The sounds of last night keep replaying in my mind; I had moaned Nick, Nick, Nick and he held me tight and said I got you, baby. I had never experienced sex that was that intimate before. In a way it was my first time too.
The car of the family from last night shows a bit of movement from within. I move fast to get dressed to avoid any children from having the scarring experience of seeing me naked. Despite the difficulty I experience while getting clothed, Nick doesn't stir one bit. I place the blanket I had used last night over his bottom half.
Gurgles and groans fill the air when I step out of the car to get some air. Stuck in the fence is one of the dead. He's currently stuck, but if he were to get out he could kill someone. I decide I should take the poor thing out of its misery. I don't want to waste any bullets, so I wield the hunting knife Nick brought. As I near him, I can see more details. Dressed in a full suit, I envision he used to be a businessman. A wedding ring shines beautifully on his left hand. Where is his family? Are they safe and awaiting his return? Or did they perish just like him? It breaks my heart to see this hollow shell of a former human. His head is directly against the fence, so all I have to do is stab through the wires. When I do, his groans silence and his body slumps. I wonder if I will ever get used to killing them.
I open the gate and trudge back to the car, stopping to wave at the family who is getting ready to depart. Once inside I start the car, which causes Nick to wake up. He's groggy and confused, but soon remembers everything when he looks down and realizes he is nude. Before I start driving I wait for him to get his clothes on. It takes considerably longer for him due to his long legs. Eventually he joins me in the front seat and we drive away.
Before I turn onto the main road, Nick notices the dead man stuck in the fence. "Looks like somebody took down that lurker while we were sleeping."
"Yeah, it was me," I say nonchalantly and gesture towards the bloody knife on the dash.
"What!?" Nick's head snaps toward me. "Bea you can't do stuff like that without letting me know. I mean if you got hurt-"
I turn the car onto the main road and give Nick's thigh a squeeze to cut him off. "Relax, Nick. I didn't want it to hurt anybody, especially with those kids around."
"Well, just tell me next time," he says before changing the subject. "So last night was… wow."
I glance away from the road to see the look on Nick's face. I can tell he feels awkward by his bright red ears and the way he uncomfortably rubs his sore neck. It's adorable to see how flushed he gets. It's a sight I could get used to seeing on the regular, but I know it can't happen.
"Nick, last night was amazing. It was more than I could've ever dreamed of. In all honesty, it was the best I've ever had."
"Seriously?" Nick asks incredulously. "I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. Bea, I couldn't be happier right now."
Nick leans toward the backseat to grab his hat, brushing his shoulder past mine in the process. The smallest touch from him makes my mind go berserk with want. I grip the steering wheel in an attempt to clear my head, but all it does is cause my knuckles to turn white.
It pains me to be honest with him, but I know that's my only option. I take a deep breath to prepare myself to break his heart. "It was amazing, but that's all that it can be. We have to leave last night in the past and move on. My brother would not be happy if he found out about this."
"Seriously, Bea? You don't even want to try?" His tone is so glum. I was expecting anger from him, but all I hear is pure sadness. It's a rare occasion when Nick shows his true feelings instead of disguising them as anger.
I can't bring myself to look at him, so I keep my focus on the ever-growing stretch of road in front of us. "I want nothing more than to try, but both of us know that this is how it has to be."
"Whatever."
The anger I had expected presents itself. Nick had taken a risk and exposed his true emotions to me. I let him down, and I couldn't feel worse about it. I want to say more, but I leave the conversation alone at the sight of Nick angrily facing away from me.
A few minutes pass by in a painful silence. In my extreme focus on the road, a moving figure catches my eye. From what I can see, it looks like a child. I put the car into park to go help him.
"What are you doing?" Nick asks.
"That kid is all alone out here. We have to help him."
"I don't think this is a good idea," he says.
"He can't be any older than twelve. I'm going out there," I say.
Nick rolls his eyes and sighs but follows behind me. My feet drag across loose pieces of gravel as I near the boy. His movements are slow and his clothes are filthy. I can't imagine what it's like to be a kid during all this.
"Hey, buddy. It's okay, I can help you." I tell him.
He aimlessly turns around. I await him with a big smile to help him feel safe. As he turns my smile dissipates and my mood sours. His frontside still looks like a normal boy, minus the pale gray skin, lifeless eyes, and the massive chunk of skin missing from his cheek. From the looks of it, he turned within the hour.
"Bea, stop-"
Before Nick can catch up to me, I've already put the knife through the boy's eye. I just couldn't stand to look at the poor kid anymore. I make it halfway back to the car before his body even hits the ground.
I get in the passenger seat and slam the door behind me because I don't want to drive anymore. I've experienced enough heartbreak today, and I just need to be left alone for a while.
Nick places himself behind the wheel, looking at me with pity in his eyes. "I'm sorry you had to do that," he says with a tender voice.
We silently begin the rest of our journey.
At some point I must've dozed off, because I am awoken by the car door being jolted open. In my groggy state I ready myself to fight until I realize my family is standing in front of me. My mother practically pulls me out of the car and into a hug. "Oh, sweetie! We were so worried!"
I hug the rest of my family and Nick's family happily. After seeing the tragedy on the road earlier, I am honestly shocked that all of my loved ones are safe.
"I was startin' to think maybe you guys weren't gonna' make it back," Luke says.
"Well, I was starting to think I was never going to see you guys again. I mean I don't know what I would've done if Nick wouldn't have come to get me," I say, looking back at a bright faced Nick as I speak.
My dad pulls Nick into a hug, which catches Nick off guard. "Thank you for saving my daughter."
"Don't mention it. Anything for her."
I'm visibly flushed in the face, which is not a very common occurrence. I'm indebted to my dad for refocusing the attention from Nick and I. "C'mon everybody," he says, "The food's ready."
We all gather around the campsite they managed to put together. My dad walks around in his Kiss the Cook apron and passes out hotdogs that they had left over from their camping trip. Blinker limps over and sleeps at my feet while I try to savor my hotdog. I imagine we won't be eating food like this again for a while.
I look around the campfire and see the smiles of all my loved ones. Maybe everything will end up okay after all.