Chapter 5: Ace of Cups rx
Nanami breathed in.
The small bell rang beside him as another customer came out. A young woman held the door open for an older man who thanked her as he joined the line inside.
Nanami breathed out.
He would go in with the next person to open the door.
The bell rang again. He didn't go.
Next person. I can do this.
He couldn't.
Last night's bravado had been replaced with a heap of nerves so heavy he couldn't move away from the display window outside the bakery he'd visited so many times before. Every time he reached for the handle a new reason held him back; the line looked too long, she was so busy, they had no time to actually talk. What if the other worker ended up servicing him and he lost his chance to speak to Airi? If they did speak, would the other customers be mad at him holding up the line? Would it get her in trouble?
Airi dusted her hands on her apron and walked to the back through the kitchen doors.
He sighed as the chime announced another customer walking out. Well now he couldn't go in. She wasn't even there.
"Why didn't you come in?"
Rainy handed him two cups of coffee as she moved away from the door.
"I uh-" Nanami felt so pathetic it was almost comical. "I just…"
She dug through the paper bag separating their purchases into individual plastic carriers.
"... I don't know…"
He looked away.
Her brown silk shirt accented her skin really well. The white skirt looked… Angelic… He liked the way the colors played with the pink tint of her lips and the rosy blush on her cheeks. Even the gold clip that held her perfectly bouncy curls in place, seemed to be specifically picked out to marry the pieces into a harmonious presentation.
Rainy dressed lovely that morning, and "... I didn't want her to think we were on another date…"
She looked up. Her eyelashes seemed longer. "Ah, I see."
His eyes followed hers as she looked up the street. For a moment he almost missed the creeping dark cloud of energy disturbing the normal morning flow.
"We can run to the barrier in your cafe." He didn't have time to kill a curse and risk having to get a change of clothes.
Rainy clicked her heels. "This, exactly this-"
"Would you be comfortable with being carried?" She trusted him enough to overcome her own discomfort by choosing to dress so delicately, and Nanami had no intention of undermining the reassurance he offered yesterday.
Rainy's eyes widened as the beast emerged from the crowd. "Not at all." She took the drinks and he slipped his arms into position.
No one cared about the tall man speed walking while carrying the foreign woman down the street. They moved away mechanically and didn't bat an eye as she narrated the slug-like creature's movements. Another day in Tokyo, stranger things happened every minute.
By the time they reached the cafe, the curse had disappeared into the misty morning. He sat her down gently and waited until she took the first step before removing his arm from under her legs.
"You know, she's perfectly aware we're not dating. You told her yesterday." Rainy extended her hand and handed him a cup. "We had a lovely chat about how scary you look, but how you're actually really nice."
"You did..?"
His companion nodded and handed him another bag. "Today I got the Ace of Cups reversed as my daily message from Mother. The card always strikes me in a romantic way, and considering that's not something I'm interested in, I didn't really take it to heart."
Mother liked to send her filler messages. Sort of like an idle conversation one had with friends. Except in these desperate times she would have preferred important conversations instead.
"You know how the Ace of Cups looks like you're pouring out the water when it's reversed?"
He nodded.
"Do that, Nanami."
"Me?"
She nodded playing with the lid until it opened. "Your cup is full from overthinking, and the Universe can't add blessings to an overflowing cup. Makes a mess, you know?"
Nanami lowered his gaze. He didn't need to see his reflection behind her as the rosy tint of embarrassment spread through his cheeks. On him it just looked stupid.
It was a gentle lecture, but a lecture nonetheless. He'd been an idiot standing outside putting effort into made up scenarios rather than the real story that could have unfolded before him.
"Her number is written on the cup. She thinks you're cute."
The lid almost came off as he turned the container. True to her words, a number was written under the receipt.
"I… Uh…"
An idiot that still received the luckiest break… The first one in his life that didn't involve a life or death situation. Just a little fortune for fortune's sake. It felt strange. Encouraging, actually.
Nanami breathed out.
The bell chimed as Rainy opened the door. She waved and turned. "See you after work."
"Yeah…"
Maybe he would pour the water out of his cup now that life felt like it was moving in his favor.
[5]
Rainy smoothed out the white apron over her freshly pressed black dress. She fixed her hat and made sure to touch the lone star at the center. Her legs swung eagerly over the balcony rail as her eyes settled on the waning night before her.
She wanted to see the sun as it rose, bringing out the warmth of the city and the sparkle of the dew covered flowers. Then, she would twirl and show Source her accomplishment. The first step of many.
The shadows lifted and scurried from the cobblestones below. They withdrew from the stone walls and vined trees. Light spilled through the windows, some which had started to open as souls awakened for the day.
But the sun never came.
The clouds gathered and rumbled. A gray veil flooded the city.
Disappointment trickled in with each drop of rain.
Another sunrise missed.
"The rain is beautiful."
The gentleness in Mother's voice didn't soothe away the sorrow.
"I wanted to see the sun."
"You can enjoy the rain while you wait for the sun."
Her dress had begun to soak. She couldn't even move as her hat slipped down her curls.
It wasn't real.
"I'd rather just see the sun."
A memory?
"Maybe tomorrow?"
A dream?
"Sadly."
[5]
Rainy stared at a singular spot in her ceiling where shadows from the moonlight mingling with the curtains danced, and twirled.
"You know what's really frustrating?"
Rubi's head perked up from the mountain of blankets at the end of the couch. "Hmm?"
"Mother can talk to me anytime." Rainy reached up and tried to trace the shadows. "She comes to me in dreams, we can communicate. And she still chooses not to tell me the lesson I need to end this already."
"Well, it's important for you to learn it on your own."
The drizzling outside her window had stopped. Maybe that's why her meditation led to that dream involving rain. Or was it a memory?
"But I want to learn," Rainy protested. "Why is struggling necessary when I'm open to accepting the lesson already?
Rubi snuggled back into her warm fort. "That's just how things work."
They were quiet a moment. "I was wearing a nurse's dress," Rainy finally said. "So I was right, I wanted to be a Guardian Angel."
Whether a dream, or a memory, her heart's desire had manifested in that moment.
"Oh?"
"I should be the one frustrated because my human isn't paying attention to all the signs, not the other way around."
"Ha! Talk about hands-on work experience."
Rainy sat up. She pulled at the knit cardigan that slouched on her shoulder. "Do you think that's it? She's just giving me a really hard test to make sure I'm a top notch Guardian Angel?"
The black cat laid her head down. "Meh." Even the sadistic Scorpio wouldn't go this far for such a simple lesson.
"That's a little comforting though..."
Her eyes drifted towards the door as the bell rang. She straightened and waited for the sound to come again.
"I thought you were done once he dropped you off?"
Rainy felt it too. That familiar presence. "That's the usual procedure."
She made her way to the door and closed her eyes. Her soul felt it again, the warmth of his aura, the safety of her barrier…
"I apologize for the unannounced visit."
Rainy had never seen him with his hair unstyled. It looked nice framing his glasses. Even his white t-shirt, and knit sweater looked more casual than she knew him to be comfortable with. Unannounced and unplanned visit.
She took the small container he extended. "Are you ok?"
"I need guidance so I thought I'd bring an offering."
"Ah!" She laughed, stepping aside. Rainy lifted the cover and saw the fruits floating in a thick, milky substance. As a human she didn't need offerings, but the fae in her appreciated the gesture.
"What do you need help with?"
His eyes moved around the open space of her living room. Not that there was much to see under the dim lights. A basic couch and table, a heap of blankets that had moved to the kitchen entrance, oh and the bookcases filled mostly with jars. Maybe he found the mini altar by the large balcony doors to be fascinating. That's where his gaze settled.
"I- I want to know what part of my natal chart shows why I'm constantly overthinking…"
It was only natural for his soul to pull him to that area.
"I see." She placed the offering on the table, before settling on the floor where his eyes still lingered. The space had a great view of the sky, and right now the clear energy of the moon would illuminate the answer to his question.
Nanami waited for her to say anything before following. He felt overwhelmed by the happenings of the day. Even the apartment felt like it required so much of his attention just to feel present.
Still, the little area by the window felt nice. The jars, books, herbs, charts… This is where she communicated with the universe. And right now, he needed her to speak to it on his behalf.
Rainy pointed to his hand where she could see his Wheel of Fortune, the essence of his soul. "There's not one particular reason, but the heavy Earth energy in your soul is a huge part of the problem. Particularly your Capricorn stellium."
Three or more planets rested in one constellation at the time of his birth. Even with his limited understanding of natal charts, Nanami recognized the importance of such a detail.
"I see."
Capricorn, the ambitious leader of the zodiac, had a strong hold over his life. He needed things to work out to their best potential for him to feel satisfied, and for that to happen Nanami constantly felt his brain churning out every possibility for any action he would take. Best case scenarios, worst case scenarios, and what to do in each one.
Every step from the moment he opened his eyes, felt exhausting.
He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "But what am I supposed to do? I can't change my birth placements."
"The placement itself isn't a bad thing," she smiled. "It's like a muscle that you keep working on because it's already strong and therefore exercising it is easy. But then you forgot about the rest of your body and now you look deformed."
Nanami lowered his eyes.
"You just have to take the same approach spiritually that you have physically and you'll balance yourself out in the same way you have done with your body."
She took his hand in hers and pointed to a spot close to his thumb. "Like here, you have Venus in Gemini. That's such a pretty placement! You're supposed to be a social butterfly, curious, and chatty."
Her hands felt cold despite the warmth in the apartment. A chill crawled up his arm as her thumb drifted to a spot closer to his wrist. He should have brought her something warm instead…
Rainy sat his hand down gently. "Yeah, there's so much for you to work on."
He breathed out. The idea sounded good in theory, but working on it… "Where would I even start?"
The question floated from his lips before he had a chance to register the miscommunication between his brain and mouth.
"You kind of have already."
His eyes widened. Hope fluttered in his chest.
"I'm pretty sure you didn't plan on coming here tonight. You felt restless to the point you couldn't control it and your body just moved."
"...Yes…"
"You should do that more often, but don't wait until you're emotionally exhausted, just take a leap of faith. Trust that things will work out and that the Universe will guide you to where you need to go."
The flutters vanished. His mouth parted slightly, but no words came out. The moonlight wrapped around his gentle eyes, exalting the brown into a delicate honey.
Dread set in.
"Sit with that fear," she told him. The heaviness of despair had a similar effect on her. "That's how you work that muscle."
He breathed out. "It's really hard to undo two decades of habit."
"Hard, but not impossible."
Nanami smiled. It felt like she always had an answer ready. "That's true."
"You took another leap of faith this morning going to the bakery. Even if you didn't go in, you still took it. And you got her number!"
He blinked. "Huh… I guess…"
"There won't always be such an obvious reward for your efforts, but you'll be so happy when you do get them. They'll be worth the effort."
"Thank you…"
"You could use a gem in your life."
He smiled again. "I think I could."
Rainy walked across the room towards a door. Rubi, who had been pretty quiet, followed.
"Hands on experience," the cat pointed out kicking the door closed.
Rainy stood in front of another bookcase full of jars. These contained her most important crystals. "You know, it may have started off as a desperate attempt to rationalize things, but it kind of makes sense… I'm working with the humans to understand them."
"Hmm, and this would be fitting as a final test. Rose quartz."
Rainy's fingers hovered over the jar with smooth, pink balls. A good choice, but her soul felt restless.
"He needs something a little… Stronger?" The jar full of chunky white squares with light red splotches was hard to miss. She retrieved a single cinnabrite and examined the piece.
Rubi jumped on the bed to get a better look at the stone. "Feels like a waste of a good stone."
For most humans, Rainy would agree. But, "Nanami wants to heal his soul. He may not know it yet, but he does. And there's good potential there for him to do that."
"Have you seen the shape of his soul? It's beyond fix-"
"What kind of Guardian Angel would I be if I didn't do my best?"
The black cat smirked. "You're taking that vision to heart, huh?"
The energy flowed through her fingers, up her forearm, stopping just as it reached her shoulder. She pushed it back down with her own ethereal force. "It's comforting," she admitted. "If this is a test, then it's comforting. It means that in three weeks, Mother will end this and I will go home."
They watched the stone melt in her palm. The liquid rose again. It broke in opposite directions before coming together at the bottom. A perfect heart. She loved the human depiction of love. So sweet and simple.
"Why not," Ruby sighed. "It's better than her wanting to kill you. Or worse, doing this for no reason."
"Exactly." She closed her fingers around the stone. Her skin needed warmth. "Let's feed this hope, Rubi. It feels good."
[5]
Nanami breathed out and scrolled through his contact list. His thumb hovered over his mother's number before pressing it.
The ringing filled his living room as he activated the speaker.
The universe had blessed him while he, unconsciously, took leaps of faith. He wanted to test out this theory in its totality. Would he really get lucky when he tried it with full intent?
"Kento, is everything ok?" It's the only time he's ever heard her voice in his house.
"I just wanted to tell you that I've secured a promotion that will allow me to fully retire in the next few years." Almost two decades earlier than he anticipated.
"Can you retire early and still care for a wife and child? Or will your wife plan on working after the child is in school?"
He sighed and traced the stone with his thumb. The question came earlier than expected.
"I would have to think about that."
And yet he wasn't totally surprised.
The picture of his future had many important components, and overcompensating in one didn't reduce the necessity of the others. Nanami needed a wife and child. Non negotiable.
"It would be best for you to keep this job until you figure it out. More money is always good."
"I'll revisit my plans and adjust accordingly."
"Good. Still, congratulations on your promotion. Your father and I are very proud."
Bliss.
"Thank you."
"Keep working hard. Bye."
His goodbye fell on the dial tone. So did the sigh of relief.
He wanted to softly put it out there to his parents that he was in the beginning stages of dating, but the conversation didn't develop in a way that allowed for such information to be delivered.
It was for the best.
He would secure the date first and bring it up during the wedding. A good conversation that added weight to his future dinner invitation for Lunar New Year.
Faith. He had faith in the future.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading!