Guardian

by yasha012

I used to want to save existence... I saw it as this beautiful place, capable of fostering life in all of its many forms. A place with the potential to nurture so much Light. But the closer I got to it... the more I fought for it… the better I could see the Darkness waiting within… the evil we would all rather forget. (Part 4 of the Hero series; sequel to "Eternal Shadow Falls".)

171. Itai

Disclaimer: I hereby disclaim all rights to all characters (save for those of my own creation) in this revealing experience… especially for the one who harbors so much pain.

~保護者~

"Itai ("Painful")"

~保護者~

Time wasn't something Aethra had in abundance. Immediately after withdrawing from Seiko's mind, she connected to Toru's. As with the last time she had contacted him, she made a brief introduction, this time just as a reminder of whose presence was with him at the moment. After doing this, she spoke again. "Toru, I explained to you before that the mind is the area I have the most familiarity with, and that this includes memories. However, I am not unfamiliar with matters of the heart, body, and soul as well due to my kin."

"Thanks to the former," she continued, "I know that various memories your partner holds would be good things for you to know. There are memories that are happy, memories that will hurt to see, memories that may be surprising… All of this to say that all of these unshared things would be worthwhile for you to see. They will allow you to understand him better, to know more of his past, and in some cases to better understand some of his pain. But I will only share them with you if you are willing to see. The choice, as always, is yours."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know more. No matter what it is, hit me with it," Toru invited, crossing his arms slightly and sitting back further into the couch in Shadow's living room.

There was no further explanation to give on that matter, so Aethra proceeded to explain something else instead. "This first memory is from fairly recently. Shortly before or after you and he first met, in fact. It is not a conversation that he was part of, but it is important for context." She shared the memory in question.

(-)

"You did mention something about him having changed in some good ways, didn't you?" Silver asked. "Like, not being so grumpy all the time."

"Trust me, he has his moments," Sonic smirked. "But, mostly, yeah. He's a lot more… grown up, in a way. He's definitely adopted the calmer demeanor Dad always had. Mom, too, but… you know, he's not related to her."

Silver nodded slowly, then questioned, "Why'd you say it like that?"

Emerald eyes blinked. "Say… what?"

"That he's more grown up," Silver answered, visibly confused. "He's, like, barely any younger than you."

...

"I don't know how much you were ever actually told about Shadow's past, but the gist of it is that he was created and not born. Specifically, Ivo's grandfather, a dude named Gerald, created Shadow as a weapon to fight and kill me. I was… sort of a thorn in the guy's side."

"I believe that," Silver laughed.

"Anyway," Sonic continued, "because I was already ten at the time when Gerald made him, Shadow was way too small and young to hurt me. Couldn't exactly kick my ass like Gerald wanted. So he did his experiments and whatever he wanted to do to Shadow beforehand, then accelerated his growth to match my age. Only, his mind couldn't grow along with his body, meaning he was a lot younger inside than out."

Sonic frowned to himself at his next words. "I'm fuzzy on the details at this point mostly because Shadow can't remember usually and the data Tails and I later dredged up is… limited, but it seems that some other relative of Gerald's lived on the Space Colony ARK with the two of them. She objected to what Gerald was doing and tried to protect Shadow over the years, and both she and Shadow were often punished for it. This all apparently came to a head one day and as a result of some sort of fight, Maria trapped Shadow in an escape pod rocketing toward Mobius, and she later wound up dead. Whatever happened to Shadow after that, I have no idea."

"How does this-" Silver started to ask, but Sonic cut him off.

"Getting to that, relax." Sonic resituated again to get comfortable before continuing. "Ivo's records indicate that he later found Shadow in that escape pod years later. There was evidence that Shadow had been out of it previously, so why he was sealed back inside is unknown, not to mention how. He was in some sort of stasis, too, one where he was sort of… frozen in time. Not growing, not aging, nothing. But he had aged at some point before that, to somewhere in his teen years. Most likely fifteen or so."

Silver's eyes were wide. "That's crazy."

With a nod, Sonic forged ahead. "Ivo apparently knew exactly what - or rather who - he'd found based on his own past readings of Gerald's crap, so he took Shadow's pod and all back to… wherever the hell he was at the time. Then he set about continuing exactly what Gerald once did: getting Shadow ready to fight and kill me. This involved more experiments, more testing, and more accelerated physical aging."

Now Silver started to understand. "But because of the way that works, he still had the mind of a teenager."

"And all the mood swings and rebelliousness and everything else that goes along with that time in people's lives," Sonic confirmed with another nod.

"That makes so much sense," Silver breathed. Then he asked, "Wait, does Uncle Shadow know about all of this?"

"He has a vague idea, but he doesn't remember any of it," Sonic told him. "Based on what he's said, most of his first real memories after the last couple of things he recalls on board the ARK are from somewhere around the time he started defying Ivo and regularly travelling with Rouge and Omega." Sonic shrugged, bothered by all of this even so many years later. "His mind was a real mess back then, and so was his life. Part of me is happy he's not burdened with the memories of all the shit he went through. What things he does recall are terrible enough on their own."

(-)

Toru thought over this information. It certainly made enough sense in all honestly, having seen some of those moments that Sonic mentioned. In a way, he was curious to know more about it, but for their sake it was best that he had this grown-up mentality. But… this also meant that there was a lot of gaps in how Shadow grew. Unsure what to make of it, he asked a question. "Are there parts of his life that he, in a way, didn't live through?"

"There are, yes," Aethra explained. "Ages seven through thirteen were not experienced by him. Gerald used the power of a Chaos Emerald exactly once through a machine to force Shadow's mind to age to just about fourteen. However, it injured Shadow greatly to be exposed to raw Chaos, and Gerald did not dare do so again."

"That's… awful," Toru thought to Aethra. I hate that.

"I suppose it is," she conceded. She allowed him a few moments to think some more before gently asking, "Are you ready to proceed?"

"Go ahead," he said.

(-)

Amy was in the "Ruined Future" timeline, vague details of which were communicated to Toru through the memory for the sake of context. It was further communicated that Shadow was mentally around fifteen or fifteen and a half in this and the subsequent memories, until otherwise mentioned.

The female hedgehog was talking with him in this memory, the only one which took place in this timeline.. "Is there something you want, Shadow?"

Shadow, who was rubbing his hand gun with a white cloth in what seemed to be an attempt to clean it, glanced at her. "For this to be over."

Amy sat on the couch across from Shadow. She shook her head slowly, a patient sort of smile on her face. "No, I mean... Is there something you want to get out of this fight?"

At this, Shadow snorted. "Yeah, me. Alive. If I can get out of this alive, that would be great."

(-)

Toru frowned in thought. I find it a bit concerning that this was his thought process, but that was a long while ago. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but his concern ebbed at the thought that Shadow would be less likely to say a statement like this and mean it as things stood now.

(-)

Shadow cut Rouge off before she could speak further, refusing to let her finish that sentence. "No," he repeated almost angrily. "We're not speaking a word of this to them, do you understand?" The threat that was implied in his tone seemed to brush right past her with no effect at all, almost as if it were as gentle and harmless as a simple butterfly. "I don't need help, and certainly not from them. And even if I did need help, there's no way in hell I'd ask them to help me. I can handle this on my own."

A smirk suddenly pulled at Rouge's lips. "Which is why you called Omega and I..." she mused slowly. "...Because you don't need help."

He glared at her again, then abruptly spun around on one heel and began stalking off.

(-)

There was amusement to find in this. He still doesn't like accepting help, Toru acknowledged. But… it's obvious that he's gotten better at it over time.

(-)

"On one riverbank

sunbeams slanting

down... but on

the other... raindrops"

This haiku, which Shadow had once read in an old book, came into his mind unbidden. It reminded him of an old saying that people he often considered to be fools said at times. "The grass is greener on the other side." He didn't know why he was remembering such a thing, but he thought it was ridiculous. 'I'm just as much of a fool as the rest of them.' After thinking that thought, he pushed the matter out of his mind.

(-)

Toru frowned briefly. "I think I'm missing part of the meaning here."

"The poem is, in more flowery terms, saying that 'the grass is greener on the other side'. Or, essentially, that things are - or at least can be - better somewhere else. It is said as an expression of hope for improvement." Aethra almost sounded like she was smiling briefly. "Those lines stuck in his head for a reason. He just was not ready to accept that they could be correct. He did not dare to accept that he could be hopeful at that time. That ability would come to him in time, but that time was not then."

"Ah, that makes sense. I couldn't make the correlation between what he was thinking and what the poem was meant to be saying. Not sure why, since I can usually discern those sorts of things. Perhaps it's just a cultural thing," Toru thought, tilting his head slightly.

"Perhaps it is," she agreed. She then showed him the next memory.

(-)

They had finally made it to their destination, but Shadow wasn't entirely pleased. It was wet here. Very wet. That wasn't the problem, though. No, the problem was what the water had created. Specifically, mud. He'd jumped out of his ship without even thinking about it and had promptly slipped and fallen on his knees. Now his legs were covered in the slimy brown stuff. And Rouge was laughing. A lot. He was so not amused. She used her wings to lift herself out of the ship, then lightly touched down beside him. That was when Omega (the bulky, heavy robot that he was) landed in the mudhole, effectively spraying them all and the ship in mud. Rouge let out a short, grossed-out exclamation of sorts, and Shadow found himself smirking somehow in spite of how disgusted he likewise was. "Not so funny now, is it?"

(-)

Aside from the obvious fact that he knew Shadow disliked water, it was certainly pleasing to see him being even vaguely nonchalant. Heh.

(-)

The argument continued on and on for several minutes until, finally, Shadow's irritation overtook his exhaustion. He whirled on them. "Enough!" he snapped. Then he began barking out short orders. "Omega, go on a patrol! Keep an eye out for other robots!" Omega didn't argue; instead, he simply flew off. Shadow focused his crimson gaze on Rouge. "Go take your bath," he muttered, voice lowering. "Just make it quick." With that, he crossed his arms and plopped down to sit cross-legged with his back against the trunk of a tree. The grass he was sitting in was very wet, but he didn't care. At least it wasn't cold. That would have been just one more reason to hate this place.

Amazingly, Rouge's bad mood vanished and she smiled. "Thank you, Shadow."

His only response was a small, "Hmph."

Smiling some more, Rouge walked off to clean up, tossing a sly comment over her shoulder as she went. "You care more than you like to let on... But don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

Shadow closed his eyes. "Hn."

(-)

Toru chuckled under his breath. Try though you might, you can't hide it. The more you act on your care for others, the more it'll show.

(-)

The point of the matter was the simple fact that there was no time for anyone to be wasting. Which meant he had to make a decision. Now.

To go with Sonic, a former enemy who he barely knew... or to send him away?

Finally, Shadow had to admit that there was only one logical option. This once, just this once, he was going to admit that he needed help and accept that he was being given it. But just this one time. And never again. "Fine," he said curtly. Then, more quietly, he said again, "Fine."

(-)

Needless to say, seeing Shadow begin to accept the help of others was pleasing. Good. Considering the history he would have had with Sonic and being trained and built to literally kill him showed that, by this point, it was a tremendous amount of growth.

(-)

"That world looks so beautiful from up here… doesn't it? But you know something, Shadow? Even such a beautiful place as that has pain, suffering, anger, sadness, loss, and all manner of other terrible things… I want to see that planet thrive, Shadow. I want to know that there are people out there who are willing to fight to protect it and try to bring it a measure of peace."

"Do you see all that red down there…? …Yes, those are fires. Shadow, I think those horrible robots are attacking that giant island again. The people who are willing to cause this sort of mass pain and destruction need to be stopped. …This is what you fight for, Shadow. For the friends you will one day make, for whatever family you may have… for the happiness of the world."

"When I'm gone someday… I'll be forever thankful for all the memories we've shared, Shadow. …No, don't worry, I don't plan on leaving any time soon. I've just been thinking… that's all. …Promise me one thing, will you? Just… please don't ever forget those memories, or me. And, above all else… remember that I'll always be there for you in your heart, even after I die someday."

"Yes, Shadow, people can be cruel. Very cruel, even. But that doesn't mean we can judge them all guilty and condemn them to death. Everyone is different. Yes, it's true that no one is perfect. Everyone has a bit of darkness in them. But don't you think they deserve a chance, anyway?"

"Shadow… give them a chance… for me… please…"

...

Shaking his head lightly to banish the sudden memories, he refocused on the present. Most of them rapidly faded away again, anyway.

(-)

"Hm…" This had to be Maria, judging by the voice. That made a lot of this make… a lot of sense. If she had pushed for ideas like this with him… it might explain why he had been able to make progress at a decent pace in maturing. Toru tilted his head curiously, frowning in thought. I think that makes the most sense.

(-)

On the other side of the camp, Sonic and Shadow were standing together in silence. Both had their arms crossed. Both looked serious. Neither was speaking as they watched various members of the group interact with each other. Their attention was always inevitably drawn to Kaden. Their father. No longer was he just Sonic's dad. He was both of theirs. And they had had no idea. And speaking of not having any idea about their relation... Sonic turned his head to the left to look at his half-brother. "How did he react? When you told him about how we're all... related, I mean."

Shadow frowned a bit more than was usual for even him and looked away, never uncrossing his arms. When he spoke, he uncharacteristically mumbled, rather than speaking clearly like he usually did. "I didn't tell him."

(-)

Toru blinked once. Reminds me of Soren… the way he responded in this one and avoided it.

(-)

Luck was on no one's side but the enemy's today, not that that was unusual. The group had just been starting to get ready to move again when their luck abruptly turned sour again. Omega was standing right beside Cream, protecting her as Shadow had ordered him to do some time ago.

…

At about the same time, Shadow managed to get Cream and Cheese safely into the ship and close the cockpit, but was then knocked away by a searingly painful blast that also struck Tails. They were both quickly able to regain their weapons and stand, but seeing Shadow (Kaden's son) only served to tick the ancient hedgehog off further. When Shadow and Tails were again blasted, leaving them both heavily injured, Kaden's anger began to ascend into rage.

…

Shadow sensed the threat and whirled on it, instinctively launching a blast of black Dragonfire that took out the robots and further proved to all who had read the file that Shadow was Kaden's son. In spite of the older hedgehog's current state of anger, he still felt another nearly dizzying wave of shock.

…

Before Silver had a chance to voice the reaction everyone could see in his face and eyes, he too was blasted and sent flying. He crashed into Shadow, and they both hit the ground hard. Neither was able to regain their feet quickly enough to avoid being shot with lasers.

(-)

Toru locked onto two separate things immediately. One, that Kaden recognized Shadow as his kid (in what seemed to be a decently short timeframe), and that Shadow was protecting a child despite being… well, Shadow. He could tell that there was a long-standing history of Shadow being unfriendly and such. After a moment, he also realized that the fact that he was tossed around and injured very easily, which not so subtly revealed the difference in his durability, strength, and skill in combat. That was interesting to note, at least.

(-)

After several long minutes of silence, Shadow unexpectedly sighed. "You are aware of my past... affiliations with Ivo, yes?" he questioned in return.

Sonic nodded readily. Of course he knew about that. How could he not? It had been obvious that Shadow had worked for the man at one point, but Sonic held no grudges. "Yeah," he replied.

Shadow wasted no time beating around the bush and instead jumped right in. "My dealings with him were not conducted willingly on my part."

…

"I watched, as I was ordered to do, and I saw the way you fought to save that world and all those people, even that hawk whom you considered to be little more than an enemy at the time. Observing your actions made me remember Maria's wish. I suddenly realized how far I had begun to stray from it, and I decided enough was enough."

"But you stayed," Sonic noted calmly. "Why?"

Shadow hesitated to answer. "Around that time, Rouge and I had become..." He paused, searching for the right word.

"Friends?" Sonic helpfully supplied.

"Allies," Shadow swiftly corrected. Then he continued with his explanation. "He threatened to kill her if I disobeyed, so I continued to do his bidding for a time. However, in the confusion caused by the attack you and your friends launched on his base, Rouge and eventually Omega managed to escape. And, once I was sure they were safe, I was able to escape as well."

…

Slowly, tensely, Shadow nodded. In that moment, Sonic's mind and heart were decided. "I won't let Ivo take you back," he decided calmly. He'd shocked Shadow it would seem, though it wasn't that visible overall. "No matter what Ivo does... I will fight for your freedom."

(-)

Toru tapped his fingers against the couch lightly. The bond between Sonic and Shadow grew strong by this point, definitely… and the fact that Shadow admitted to being allies with Rouge says a lot, especially combined with the fact that he only obeyed Ivo in order to keep her safe.

Aethra spoke up again. "This next memory was important enough, Toru, that I will show it to you in three parts. However, keep in mind that they occured on the same day in close succession to one another. Alright?"

"Understandable."

(-)

The moment they reached space, Shadow saw the very familiar dark shape that was the Space Colony ARK. It was his birthplace, in a sense. It had been the only home he had ever known. It was where his only friend had been murdered by the insane man who had once sent her there to keep her safe. This was the place that housed some of his only good memories... and all of his worst nightmares.

(-)

The chameleon himself had also seen this place on his own… in a fit of rage that he'd used to try and tear the place apart (which he would proudly say he'd managed). He knew what it entailed and seeing it made his blood boil and his Darkness rise to the surface ever so slightly before he managed to calm himself.

(-)

Shaking free of the random memory, Shadow watched as the ARK drew ever closer. He wasn't so sure that he was ready for the upcoming fight. It had nothing to do with the robots or the incredibly high possibility of injury or death, nor was it even Ivo himself who bothered him. No, what bothered him was this place and everything associated with it. This place had stolen away his childhood, his innocence, stripped him of every ounce of happiness he may have ever possessed.

He had hated this place then, and he still did now. He couldn't get over what had happened within those dark metal walls, not until the ARK in its entirety was as destroyed as he was.

(-)

If he hadn't attempted to control himself, this alone might have skyrocketed him into something closer to his evil state out of pure desire to see that place destroyed all over again. It only gets worse, huh…

(-)

And yet... wouldn't destroying this place also mean wiping away the few good memories he'd had there? Wouldn't that mean, in a way, erasing Maria?

He closed his eyes and shook his head. 'Foolish.' He could feel emerald eyes looking at him. Silent. Observing. Questioning. He ignored them, ignored everyone. When his eyes opened, they remained locked on the ARK. Determination, coupled with the natural redness of his eyes, gave his gaze a fire that he rarely displayed. He looked at the ARK, the place where he had grown up, and saw through it to what lay within. Ivo was in there somewhere, and he would make the man pay for his grandfather's mistakes. Of this, he swore. And he never went back on his word.

(-)

Finally, Toru forced his Darkness to simmer down, letting out a low sigh. That sort of determination from Shadow was enough to handle the anger so he could focus again. Somewhere within him, he felt a modicum of pride for the hedgehog's past decision. I swear I'll do everything in my power to help end him again.

(-)

Sonic stood by his half-brother's side, overlooking the crowd and watching the others interact. "You gonna be okay?"

Shadow's crimson gaze slid over to him. Shadow's tone was level as he replied with a simple, "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Sonic pressed.

"Yes," Shadow returned just as calmly as before.

Sonic gave him a sidelong glance. "I don't believe you." Shadow made no reply. Sonic pressed on. "If you're not alright, you need to say so. No one can help you if you keep everything to yourself."

Shadow frowned. "I never asked for anyone's help."

"You don't need to," Sonic replied easily. Shadow glanced at him for the second time. "Dad, Silver, and I are your family. Mom may as well be, too. Family members look out for each other." Shadow seemed stunned into silence. He didn't appear to know how to respond, for once. Sonic guessed Shadow was still trying to process the fact that he actually had a family. He didn't blame him.

In the end, neither said another word to the other. Silence persisted. But... that was alright. Because, in the end, they understood each other well enough without words, anyway.

(-)

Seeing the bond the two shared was good for Toru's riled up state, allowing him to relax. They're most definitely close. Glad to see he's had that available to him in the past.

(-)

Shadow watched as Cream approached him. This child was always so bright and happy... He didn't quite understand it, but he didn't particularly mind it. It was nice to see someone who smiled as much as she did. Someone who was like her. He didn't say that, though. Instead, all he said was, "Did you need something?"

Cream kept smiling at him. "I wanted to thank you, properly this time," she told him brightly. "I never did get a chance to, after you saved me from Ivo just before Dark Gaia was freed."

Shadow blinked once. "You don't need to thank me."

Though her smile never faltered, her head tilted to the side. "Why did you save me, Mister Shadow?"

'Because... your smile... reminded me of Maria.' This was something else he didn't voice aloud. But she seemed to understand… somehow.

He noticed for the first time that Cream was holding a crown of flowers in both of her hands. The crown was made solely of yellow flowers. Though he had no real care for flowers, yellow was a color he supposed he liked well enough, despite its brightness. The whole thing seemed to have been made with some care. She extended the crown out to him with both hands. "This is for you. To thank you."

Shadow, for once couldn't find it in himself to turn down the offering, warm and innocent and caring as it was. Still, he had no intention of actually wearing the thing. He slowly extended his hand and accepted the gift, though he never put it on. However, he apparently didn't need to. The simple fact that he'd taken it seemed to be all she had been asking of him.

He watched as, with yet another bright smile, she turned and walked away.

(-)

Toru smiled a little to himself. That kid is something else, to have picked up on that… Wait. It was now that he recognized who exactly this was. Espio had taken in a kid at some point that was an outsider, and being himself… Toru had chosen to pester the other chameleon about it until he was told he could actually meet them. This was that same kid. Holy shit. The same kid Shadow protected and cared for is the one Espio did the same for. Damn.

(-)

But, whatever. Shadow would deal with it, as he did with everything else, and keep working. Omega needed to be repaired and rebuilt. Because... robot or not... Omega was a friend. And friends didn't abandon each other, ever. At least, not from what he had heard. Not from what Maria had tried to teach him.

(-)

That previous smile only grew in response. You had so many good influences despite what you went through… I'm glad. You took their words and learned from them.

(-)

As soon as he was close enough, Silver called out with an obvious grin that could be heard in his voice, "Hey, Uncle Shads!"

Shadow froze for a split second, then narrowed his eyes slightly and looked over at Silver. "Don't call me that."

Silver just grinned, unapologetic and unrepentant.

(-)

Now it was time to make way for amusement, at least momentarily. You didn't really mind, now did you, Shadow?

(-)

"We must depart within the next fifteen minutes. If you do not finish packing soon, our departure will be delayed."

"I know, Omega!" Omega fell silent after that and for once, in spite of how undignified it was, Shadow rolled his eyes. Though he had his back to the robot, he couldn't shake the feeling that Omega somehow knew what he'd done. He paused momentarily to contemplate that thought, then shook his head and brushed the idea aside, essentially dismissing it as foolish and/or paranoid.

"If you do not cease your distracting thoughts-"

"Remind me one more time and I swear I will dismantle you."

Omega made some sort of beeping sound that, while entirely mechanical in nature, somehow managed to seem sassy. After that, the room fell silent. Shadow sighed. 'Finally... '

(-)

Toru rolled his eyes a little. Managing to argue with a robot, eh? At least you two seemed close… however that works in this situation.

(-)

In this memory, the group was playing Truth again.

...

Sonic wasn't sorry, nor did he pretend to be. His eyes settled on Shadow (who was piloting his ship nearby) and he said, "Up for some questioning, bro?"

Shadow's crimson gaze flashed in his direction. "Don't call me that," he said through the group call.

...

Sonic chuckled. "You sure about that? My other question is probably not gonna be any more to your liking."

A long period of silence passed. Then, finally, Shadow released a heavy sigh and admitted, "As a young child... I never knew what paint was until I found some in the ARK. I got it all over my 'room' and myself."

Analia smiled widely. "That sounds adorable." Shadow seemed to sulk.

(-)

Toru bit back the desire to snicker. I agree.

(-)

Shadow and Sonic walked side by side down a busy street in Empire City. In spite of the less than favorable temperatures and noise levels, Sonic was in a good mood. He and his brother were actually spending time together as brothers should. Today had been a good day, and he suspected that it would continue to be so. "Hey, did you hear about the carnival that's in Station Square right now?"

He could have sworn that Shadow sighed as he walked, arms crossed, down the sidewalk by Sonic's left side. "I really don't care."

"Aw, c'mon," Sonic pretended to pout. "Carnivals are fun."

...

Now Sonic had a new question. "Have you ever even been to a carnival before?" The smirk dropped abruptly. Fairly certain that he'd hit upon something absolutely golden, Sonic pressed, "Well?"

"Silver forced me," was all Shadow would admit. He now seemed a tad sullen. "Never again."

…

They crossed a busy street, then Sonic's wandering emerald gaze happened across a movie theater. One of the current showings was a new samurai movie that he'd heard about before. "Hey, wanna go see that?" he asked, pointing at the title.

Blinking once, Shadow turned his head and allowed his eyes to follow Sonic's pointing finger. "Now?" he frowned.

"Yes, now," Sonic responded, eyes rolling toward the heavens momentarily. "I'm not exactly gonna be here tomorrow, dummy."

"I know," Shadow retorted sharply. Then he paused, only to soon speak again. "...And don't call me that."

"I'll call you whatever I like, dummy," Sonic grinned.

"Sonic, I swear to god-" Shadow started to threaten before he was cut off.

"So are we gonna go see this movie or what?" Sonic asked him. Shadow glared. "Well?"

Silence. Long moments of tension passed. Then, slowly, Shadow's posture relaxed, and he admitted defeat. "...Fine..."

Grinning at his victory, Sonic led the way inside.

(-)

The more he saw of Sonic and Shadow being so friendly with one another, the more Toru decided he really liked it. It was kinda sweet, in that brotherly way.

(-)

Even heroes celebrated major holidays, Sonic and Amy reasoned. Using this logic as their fuel, they spent several hours on Halloween day painstakingly convincing every friend and family member they had to attend a Halloween party with them at her house. Everyone did end up showing up, though a few (such as Kaden and Shadow) had simply refused to dress up. Still, everyone was here, there was good food, great music, and there were lots of harmless frights to be had. In the end, Amy considered it to be a great night. Even if a certain red and black hedgehog did decide to stand in a corner and sulk the whole time in response to being dragged along. She giggled as she walked into her home. 'So worth it.'

(-)

Toru thought over what he knew of Shadow and ultimately decided that this was what would likely happen more or less every time a party came around with the hedgehog. Funny to think about.

(-)

Shadow and Espio had been finding lately that they got along rather well most of the time, and they also had a good number of shared interests (including but not limited to mystery novels, poetry, fighting, and fast ships). The two of them had been talking with each other a great deal over the past few weeks.

However, this was the first day the two of them had ever really "hung out" together. Though they didn't exactly do much, they did get out of their houses for a while. Hanging out like this gave them a fairly legitimate excuse to continue talking like they normally would be, anyway. So, overall, Shadow found that he considered it to be a fairly enjoyable day.

(-)

The chameleon blinked. Shadow socializing? Tempted to say this is a lie, but I know better than that.

(-)

Today was the ultimate day for pranks: April first, also known as April Fools Day. Both Silver and Tails woke up that day just knowing that they had to cash in fully on this day's hilarious action. The two joined forces together and became everyone's collective worst pranking nightmare. No one was spared from their mayhem, not even people like Shadow, Kaden, and Knuckles. Eventually, though, some people (even more mature members of the group) began retaliating. What ensued was a prank war that lasted well into the next day.

In Shadow's specific case, he endured only a few pranks before Silver and Tails learned their lesson. They caught him with a spaghetti bomb in the park, covering him in noodles, sauce, and meatballs. They got his left shoe stuck in what Silver dubbed "Extreme-Ultra-Sticky-Glue" while he was walking, forcing him to go without the shoe for over an hour while he tried to free it. They painted his normally pitch black ship bright orange, and their only saving grace was that he quickly learned it came right off with some water.

What finally put a stop to their antics against him in the midst of the prank war was simple and yet genius. The pair had been using Tails's workshop to create their pranky contraptions - water balloon guns, noise makers, so-called "jumpscare machines", and so on. Somehow, some way, Shadow managed to sneak into the workshop right under Tails's nose and sabotage every. Single. One of them. Now every contraption they used backfired and pranked Tails and Silver instead.

No one ever managed to prove it was him.

(-)

Toru chuckled. Gonna keep all this in mind, 'cause there's no way they're gonna leave me out of this next time around. Shadow managing to sabotage their attempts as well as keeping it a secret was incredible, too.

(-)

The group gathered together in a huge park in South City to hide and hunt for eggs, spend quality time together, and enjoy the beauty of this spring day. However, the casual nature of the day soon became more energetic. A giant game of tag somehow started up, dragging in more and more people every minute. In the end, even Shadow, Knuckles, Jet, and Kaden were persuaded to play.

(-)

Now this surprised Toru. They'd managed to rope Shadow into it? That was insane to him.

(-)

For the first time ever, Sonic and Shadow were having a race together. Sonic had challenged his half-brother to a competition, and Shadow had found himself unable to refuse. But, of course, what was supposed to be a serious race was marred by Sonic himself. The blue hero simply could not seem to resist taunting, teasing, and otherwise messing with Shadow the whole time they ran. It was all very annoying and childish... so Shadow put an end to it all by shoving Sonic, knocking him over, and then speeding away.

(-)

This was more like the Shadow he knew, Toru decided, chuckling again. He'd seen this sort of response to things multiple times by now... such as the time Shadow had thrown a pillow at him.

(-)

A massive game of tag was started up sometime after the whole group gathered together for yet another social gathering in yet another large park. As usual, everyone was pretty swiftly convinced to join in on the game, but this one quickly proved itself to be very different from the other games of tag they had all played together. The reason why it was so different was simple: all powers were allowed. Teleportation, invisibility, fire, wind, it didn't matter. If a person had a power, so long as they were careful to not hurt anyone, they could use it. Once again, even Shadow was roped into the game somehow. Only Sonic and Kaden ever managed to catch him.

(-)

A game of tag with powers was an interesting premise, to be sure. Toru liked the idea, and wondered how things would go if it happened today.

(-)

This was a day made perfect by beautiful weather. Perfect for certain things, that is. Things like running, for example. So run Shadow and Kaden did, all over the eastern side of the world. But, inevitably, what started off as a casual travel day eventually turned into some sort of crazy, impromptu race. Being the rather competitive souls they both were, neither father nor son wanted to allow the other to win. Trading challenging smirks, the two darkly colored hedgehogs shot off into the distance.

(-)

This sort of speed was definitely interesting, and he could tell that it was at least faster than what he saw with Shadow against Sonic. That was good to know for the future, especially since he was fast as well.

A moment later, it was communicated to Toru that, by this time, Shadow was mentally sixteen, but not quite sixteen and a half. This memory was a full century after the last one.

(-)

Lia beamed up at her uncle, who she was clinging to tightly with both arms. "Daddy said he'll get me a puppy for my birthday! A real live puppy!"

Sonic's eyes were shining with amusement when they flicked to her father as the other hedgehog approached. "Did he, now?"

Shadow, who had a subtly tired light in his eyes, walked up to the pair of them. His tiredness was unsurprising, really, as he was a single parent raising a highly energetic child mostly by himself, though also with the aid of family and friends. Her mother, his now ex-girlfriend, didn't help at all. She was no longer around anymore, anyway. She had just vanished, dumping the baby on his doorstep, taken off a second time, and was never seen or heard from again.

It only much later came to light that Shadow had made the unfortunate decision since then to never give love of that kind a try again, but that was all in the past now. His daughter was happy and that seemed to mean that he was happy, too, though he never said such things aloud. Still, in spite of that happiness, he fixed the child with a vaguely exasperated look, one so subtle it could very nearly be missed. "I said I might," he corrected calmly, speaking to both her and Sonic, "if Lia can manage to behave herself until then."

(-)

The previous lightheartedness Toru had felt faded to make way for concern. Right… Mara. He had to raise Lia after she vanished… That's fucked.

(-)

Lia was slowly growing less energetic than usual. That was a good indication that she was finally tiring. Shadow had been conversing with Sonic for the past few minutes (though Sonic had, of course, been doing most of the talking). He looked away from Lia and returned his attention to his brother. "I should get going."

Sonic glanced at Lia just as she finally released a genuine yawn. She was still stubbornly trying to stay awake as she drew with Cream on various pieces of paper on the coffee table in the living room. "Yeah, probably," he smiled. "It's been a long day, especially for a little kid."

Shadow nodded, his exasperation returning somewhat. "I'm surprised she hasn't passed out yet," he murmured. "She was bouncing off the walls all day."

Sonic smiled wider. "So much for behaving, huh?"

"That child is more stubborn than even you can be. She refuses to change her behavior because it won't be 'fun'."

"I can believe that. She's all about fun."

"For better or for worse." Shadow sighed and turned away. "See you some other time, Sonic."

"Bye," Sonic replied, his smile never fading as Shadow went to retrieve his daughter.

(-)

Seeing the amount of care Shadow showed for Lia just proved that there were some things that just didn't change. He could tell he had all the same love for her now as he had back then, and he was glad that he could say there wasn't a difference.

(-)

"Daddy?" Lia mumbled sleepily. "Are we home?"

Shadow nodded once. "Yes," he confirmed quietly, "And it's far past your bedtime."

Thankfully, no protests came. "Where's Mr. Fluffy?" she asked instead, sitting up a bit and looking around.

"Your unicorn is still in bed, right where you left it," he replied calmly.

"But what if he ran away while we were gone?" Lia asked with a tiny frown, seemingly genuinely concerned by this apparent "possibility".

Shadow nearly rolled his eyes, but refrained. "I don't think it ran away, Lia."

"You promise?" she demanded.

He fought not to sigh. He wished she'd go back to sleep, if only because he himself very much wanted to crawl into bed and rest. Children never ceased to exhaust him, it seemed. It made him honestly wonder how in the hell people survived having more than one of them. "Yes," he assured a second time.

She laid her head down on his shoulder again. "Okay."

…

He hung up after that without giving a reply and went back upstairs and into his daughter's room… only to find Lia playing with her dollhouse on the floor next to her bed. He pursed his lips together a bit. So it was going to be one of those nights, was it? "Lia, what are you doing?"

"Playing," was the simple, almost defiant reply.

...

"Go to bed."

"I'm not tired."

"I don't care if you just lay there, then, but either way you're going to bed."

Lia stood up and spun around to face her father. "But I'm not tired, Daddy!" she exclaimed, stamping her small sock-covered foot as she said the word "tired".

...

"Stop lying to me and get into bed."

"I don't want to."

"Too bad."

"But Daddy-"

"No 'buts'."

"But-!"

Deciding that he was done with this, Shadow huffed and scooped the girl up, plopping her straight back down onto bed with just enough gentle force to cause her to bounce slightly upon impact. "Not another word," he ordered calmly. She continued to pout, but her arguing finally, finally ceased. Satisfied, he gently smoothed a hand over her head for a brief, silently affectionate moment before removing said hand.

(-)

So the universe did have a sense of humor, in that it gave Lia the same stubbornness Shadow had… just personified in a new way. That was an incredible sight to behold.

(-)

The group had, by now, fully entered the building and were standing inside the massive darkened main room. "Is this place abandoned?" Sonic mumbled, looking around.

Suddenly, many chameleons dropped down from the shadowed rafters. Within seconds, nearly everyone in the group was pinned to the ground, save for Espio, Jet, Kaden, and the kids. Shadow seemed to bite back a growl as he responded irritably to Sonic's question. "Obviously not."

"Nice one, smart-ass," Sonic replied, rolling his eyes. "You figure that out by yourself?" This time, Shadow gave in and growled.

"Knock it off, both of you," Kaden cut in. It was rare for him to sound so stern, prompting both of his grown-up children to shut their mouths abruptly.

(-)

Toru managed to snicker at this. It was exactly how he would have expected things to go with those three present and being more or less ambushed by chameleons. He definitely would pick at Shadow for this… one day.

(-)

Lia had scared him half to death during those incidents, but none of the fear Shadow had felt on those days could hold any sort of a candle to the fear he felt right now as he ran full-speed through the thick, dark jungles he had once hated so deeply. Cutting through White Jungle was a useful shortcut to get to where he needed to go, so he ignored the mud and the rain and the snakes and whatever the hell else was there. He just needed to go.

Desperation made his heart pound. If he didn't find his child soon, he could only imagine what sort of horrors would befall her. He knew first-hand how dark life could become when trauma became a driving force in a child's life. It wasn't a fate he had ever wanted for his daughter. And yet, he had failed once already to protect her from it. She had been there and gone in an instant, kidnapped before his very eyes before anyone could react. Lia was in grave, grave danger, and it was because of that that his fear mutated into pure anger.

Previously, he had mostly just been severely irritated by the Nocturne Clan. Now, he detested every single one of them. It was that newfound hatred that prompted him to pull out his favorite handgun and clutch it tightly in his right hand as he tore off through the jungle.

He had every intention of making those bastards pay.

(-)

Amusement dying once more, he could feel how those emotions affected someone so naturally neutral as Shadow. Seeing this sort of reaction just… seemed to tell Toru everything he needed to know. I'll do the same if anyone ever touches any of our kids. There will be hell to pay.

(-)

"Listen," Soren told her quietly, kneeling in front of her, "I have to go now, but you're safe here. Your father is nearby, and he'll have sensed you by now. He'll be here soon."

"B-But," Lia choked out. She cut herself off, then asked, "Where are you g-going?"

Soren didn't answer that and instead just reiterated, "I have to go." He stood up and put his hands into his jacket pockets. "Maybe we'll see each other later."

Shadow reached her within seconds of Soren's departure and she was dragged into his arms before she could even fully process the fact that he was there. It registered faintly in her exhausted and still fear-filled mind that he was shaking slightly. Maybe he was afraid, too, though that was a notion she dismissed as absolutely crazy. Her daddy simply didn't get scared.

(-)

Toru immediately noted the tactful method of saying "your father" that Soren had used. He assumed it was intended to keep from dumping information in a tense situation, especially with her being so young. It was also possible Soren didn't know… but he felt that was unlikely. Seeing Shadow's reaction to finally reaching Lia was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. I hope I never see you this upset… ever.

(-)

'Aw, hell... it's that look. The "I'm pissed and it's your fault" look…' Stifling a sigh, Sonic asked, "Alright, bro, what'd I do?"

The use of that little term seemed to only further sour Shadow's mood. But, amazingly, he made no comment on it. "It's what you haven't been doing, Sonic," he muttered instead.

There was a pause, a long one, and then Sonic actually did sigh. "Okay, I give. What're you on about?"

"The Clan, Sonic," Shadow elaborated with patience tainted by obvious frustration. "We've rested long enough. We should be back out there fighting them by now."

'Well, at least he's not growling at me. Someone's feeling diplomatic today.'

(-)

The chameleon watched this quietly, focusing on Shadow's words. You remained pissed about it, didn't you? That's good to know. Don't let anyone fuck with your family.

(-)

"Soren? Did you need something?" The teen cast an almost wary glance at Shadow, prompting Analia to tilt her head. 'His heritage is no secret now, and Shadow has not rebuffed him in any way thus far… yet he still seems to fear rejection.'

When Soren didn't answer, Shadow eventually spoke. "Soren?"

This simple word caused Soren to instantly look down and shift uncomfortably. "I… heard that you're leaving."

"He will be back," Analia murmured soothingly. "He is not leaving forever." Abandonment seemed to be something that he feared as well, and her words did nothing to help.

"I-I know, but…" Soren trailed off. One of Shadow's eyebrows raised.

"But what?" Analia prompted, keeping her tone gentle.

A long moment passed in silence. It seemed that Shadow had just about decided to just get going when determination suddenly flashed into his alternate-timeline son's eyes. Soren looked up, eyes focused on Analia instead of Shadow as though she would give him the desired response to whatever he was about to say. "I want to go, too."

'Ah, so that is it, is it?' Analia smiled faintly at the teen. 'He seeks not only to avoid abandonment, but also to forge some measure of connection with the man he never before got to know?' Her faint smile growing in spite of all her negative (albeit unrelated) emotions, she looked to her son. 'How will you react, then, Shadow?'

Shadow's expression flitted through several subtle options before finally settling on a small frown not much deeper than his usual one. "Fine," he answered simply. He spun around on his heel and strode back out into the hall.

Surprise filled Soren's eyes, and Analia smiled. 'Go on,' she mouthed, nodding toward his father's retreating form. He gave no response, simply turned and ran after Shadow.

(-)

It was good to see that Soren managed to swallow back that fear he held onto in this moment… to be able to connect with Shadow. It explained a touch of how the two were close as of now.

(-)

"Why do you think it will be here simply because it was there?" Shadow challenged. He'd seen a streak of logic and intelligence in the boy - it was just a matter of getting him to actively show it.

However, Soren merely shrugged and responded unhelpfully, "A hunch?"

Huffing, Shadow looked around. When he finally spotted a sort of half-buried lump in the loose dirt a ways away, he strode over to it, knelt down, and started digging with his fingers as Soren had once done before. Soon, he pulled the red emerald from it's dusty confines. 'Hn. Impressive hunch.' Straightening, he glanced at Soren and gestured with his head. "Let's move."

(-)

Toru blinked once. An impressive hunch can be the difference between a fatal mistake and a beaming success. Learning to hone that is a step toward perfection, in my books.

(-)

One of Shadow's eyebrows raised. "You are capable of that?" he questioned.

"...Poss...ibly?"

Sonic's response was far from reassuring. Stifling a sigh, Shadow simply said, "Fine," and hung up. 'The people I happen to be related to…' This time, a sigh did escape him, and he pushed off the wall. Walking over to Soren, the fleeting thought that his family actually wasn't so irritating registered, but he put it out of mind. Catching the teen's eye, he jerked his head. "Let's go." Crimson eyes briefly glanced at the flowers Soren had apparently been eyeing. 'White roses… The same sort that also catch Father's eye. ...Though he most certainly does not like flowers, to hear him tell it.' "You may take one, if you wish. Leave the rest to grow in peace." It was a simple offer, but it made his newfound son's eyes brighten a touch.

As he turned away to leave the ruined village, he heard the distinct sound of a stem breaking.

(-)

This was… interesting to see. Shadow admitting to himself that the people he insisted were annoying might not be as bad as he made them out to be as well as Soren liking flowers were interesting to see. Toru then pieced together the fact that either Kaden or Black Doom liked flowers. It was probably Kaden. Toru decided it would be weird if Black Doom liked them.

(-)

"Regardless, Soren, I expect you to look after your sister. Understand?" It felt strange, very strange, to be addressing this boy as his own, but… well… he supposed that there were harder things in life he'd had to come to terms with than this. Really, compared to some of the other things he'd experienced over the years, having a son from an alternate timeline wasn't all that crazy. ...Either that, or he was finally losing it. Though, he refused to truly entertain the possibility.

"Yeah, of course," Soren nodded.

"And Lia, you behave," Shadow told his daughter sternly, yet not harshly. "If I hear you acted out in any way-"

"I'll be in trouble, I know," Lia mumbled, swiping at her eyes again. She walked over to him and gave him a tight hug. "Just don't be gone forever, okay…?"

"Hn." Sighing again (internally this time), Shadow lightly hugged her back, giving her the time she needed while also doing the same for himself.

This was going to be hard… for everyone.

(-)

This loving connection Shadow had with his kids was lovely to see, and it only made Toru happier with the choices he'd made in life to end up where he was.

(-)

In his mind, Kaden could feel the shock and horror radiating from their sons, as well as the disbelief and the fear. There was nothing he could do to alleviate it… Not even Analia could do that. "We're so sorry," she thought to them quietly, her voice drowning in sorrow even from within her mind. "We're so, so sorry, both of you…" The light surrounding them intensified, and Kaden was aware of growing weaker. Forcing his eyes to open, he saw that their bodies were starting to disintegrate. There was no telling how much longer they had.

…

Shadow finally found his voice, internal though it was. "...Father-"

Kaden cut him off. He had to. There was no more time. He had to say something to them, something before he was ripped away from them for good and the chance was forever gone. "We love you," he choked out, holding Analia ever closer. "We love all of you… so much."

Sonic seemed to be rushing toward them, but it was no use. Their time was up, and they were fading away. By the time Sonic reached where they had been, the light was fading… and they were gone.

(-)

There was a hint of sadness that broke through Toru's attempt at neutrality in response to this memory, and he chose not to dwell on it. Seeing this Shadow this numb and stunned really fucked with him more than he liked to admit. Shit…

(-)

When he heard the news, Shadow wasn't sure what to think or what to feel. Frowning slowly, he echoed, "Gone?"

"Uh-huh. A portal opened up while we were playing, and Soren said it went to his home."

Given what little he knew of the boy's home timeline, Shadow was honestly surprised. Maybe even a bit concerned. Or… maybe a little more than a bit. "...And he went through it?"

"Uh-huh," Lia repeated.

Shadow took in a breath and let it out. "Did he say why?"

Now Lia's eyes turned sad. "He said… he wanted to save his version of Mobius. Like you guys did here. Or at least… he wanted to try."

Upon hearing this, Shadow was silent. Strange though it was, he found himself only able to think of one thing in this situation. 'He could be killed.' That thought played on repeat, almost like a flashing warning signal in his mind's eye. It was only when Lia hugged him and spoke again that he was able to shake himself from it.

"Don't worry, daddy," she murmured, snuggling closer. "He said he'd come back and see us, too, whenever he could. I made him pinky-promise."

After a few seconds, the corner of Shadow's mouth twitched upward. "...I see." He stood, using one arm to lift her with him.

Looping her arms around his neck and laying her head down, Lia fully relaxed against him. "Are we going home now, daddy?"

More than satisfied that he had some good news to share today, Shadow nodded. He refused to mention the deaths of his parents to her… just yet, if only because he was far from ready to have that conversation. And… speaking about it meant accepting that it had happened. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he was ready to do that, either. So, instead, he merely began walking. "Yes, Lia," he sighed. "We're going home."

(-)

It was hard to cope with the residual pain he felt from this, wincing. God… that… reminds me of when I found out my dad died.

(-)

Things were rather blissfully mellow in Shadow's home today. Lia sat on the floor near the table in the dining room. The little girl was currently coping with her loss in her own way by performing a very simple task: playing with her favorite toys, including her second most beloved unicorn… which his mother had given Lia when she had been just a baby.

Shadow sat close by in a chair, leaning his cheek on one hand at the table while he watched her play. He had no desire to get anything of note done today, too overwhelmed by his own thoughts to bother with meaningless things like chores. He supposed what he was feeling was probably sadness, but… somehow… he found a measure of comfort in observing his daughter and her young strength. If she could get through this then maybe, just maybe, he could do it, too.

(-)

This affected Toru more than he'd expected. For Shadow to be so numb with emotion that he wasn't able to motivate himself to do anything but sit and watch... Something about that was heartbreaking. But seeing the role Lia had unknowingly played in easing that pain and seeing her recovering at the same time... that helped a lot.

(-)

Crimson eyes watched almost placidly as Kimmy and Lia ran around playing together in the forest surrounding his home. Said eyes never missed even the tiniest movements the girls made while they squealed and laughed and giggled and just all around had fun. It was an energetic display. One he had no desire to take part in, of course, but… his reality-hopping son seemed to have other assumptions.

"Bet you miss being a kid, huh?" Soren asked, tone almost teasing.

Thinking back on his life, Shadow had no reason to hesitate with his reply. "No."

…

He had just started letting his mind wander when Soren suddenly jarred him back to full attention by saying, "Hey, come on, let's go join them."

Surprised, Shadow responded without thinking. "What? No."

The teenager grinned and tugged on Shadow's arm. "Come o-o-on," he persisted in a deliberately childish whine. "It'll be fun."

Shadow scowled. "I don't do fun."

"But you could!"

"No."

"You're too tense and crap. Just come on."

"I'm not moving."

"Yes you are, just come on!"

"No!"

Much arguing ensued, and somehow… some way… through some crazy witchcraft or something… Shadow wound up chasing the boy around, intent on catching him and wiping that goddamn self-satisfied smirk off of his face. And it most definitely was not fun.

(-)

People had a way of dragging Shadow into things and Toru decided he definitely needed to learn. There was no doubt about it.

(-)

It could be said that Tails had become a doctor of sorts.

Over the course of several weeks, the fox had properly educated himself as much as possible on the ins and outs of everything that had been done to Shadow to make him... a little less than biological. In the process, he'd learned something he hadn't previously known. Many of Shadow's internal systems, implants, and so on had been critically damaged years ago, as it turned out. All save for the most vital ones that kept him alive and functioning. After much prying, he was even able to get Shadow to explain to him when and how such extensive damage had taken place.

It was because of Maria. Or, rather, because of the actions she had had to take to save Shadow's life when he had been a young and vulnerable child. Shadow never went into any specifics (Tails suspected he didn't even remember the specifics to begin with), but he'd said that he had had to escape from the Space Colony ARK in order to escape from Gerald Robotnik. Maria had shoved him into an escape pod and launched him, pod and all, off toward Mobius. The eventual crash-landing had been violent and extremely severe, nearly killing him. On top of that, after his biological parts had healed an unspecified length of time later, he'd later been attacked by some… creature that had also almost killed him. Hence the damage.

'I guess this explains why he's never utilized any of these implants and the like since we've known him,' Tails mused as he busied himself with one of his newest computer systems. 'And if there are implants in his head that help store even just some memories and the like and they were damaged... Well, that would certainly provide an explanation for why he has so little recollection of his dealings with Ivo and whatnot all those years ago. I'd wager that Ivo repaired those to some degree, though, judging by what I saw earlier.'

…

"So, I'm going to start getting your systems online again, one at a time. You ready?" A single nod answered him.

...

One by one, system after system came back online. And once Tails was done, one look at Shadow and he knew. No matter Shadow's overall thoughts and opinions on everything that had happened to him, he now felt oddly whole.

(-)

So this was how they had learned about so much of Shadow's systems and what all was inside of him electronically. And he knew what the creature was that had done this, from a past memory shared with him. He hadn't previously thought about how Shadow got down to Mobius, but now that he put thought in… yeah, that would fuck up most things.

(-)

Birthday parties were… obnoxious affairs, in Shadow's opinion. They were loud, they were (depending on whose birthday it was) full of people he didn't know and often didn't like, they were chaotic, they were long, they were just horrible. In spite of all that, though, he had always done his level best to make sure that Lia was able to celebrate her birthday happily each and every year. He may have hated birthday parties, but that didn't mean that she had to suffer as a result. So, just as he did every year, Shadow carefully got everything ready throughout the month of March until, finally, the twenty-eighth came around. Not only did her party manage to surprise her, but it left her positively beaming for the entirety of the day.

That alone made all the madness, the mess, the hordes of kids, the noise, the chaos, all of it… worth it.

(-)

The only word that immediately came to Toru's mind was "adorable", followed by the mental noting of Lia's birthday.

(-)

It wasn't often that Shadow received gifts of any kind. He didn't want them. He didn't need them. He had a bad habit of not appreciating the sentimental value behind them without it being explained to him first. Yet time and again, year after year, some select people went out of their way to find him something he would enjoy. The date of them doing so was, oddly enough, the thirty-first of October every single year.

Tails's reasoning was that the group always threw a party on this date, anyway. That day was Halloween, after all, the fox liked to remind him. It was the perfect time for the sorts of gifts they had taken to giving him. No one, not even he, knew his actual birthdate. Why they chose this to be the date when it was celebrated, he had no idea. He'd never agreed to it. Never even asked for it. But as for the gifts he was given, those little brown chocolatey treats…

Perhaps he enjoyed those too much for his own good.

(-)

Toru noted that Shadow liked chocolate, as well as the date they chose to celebrate his birthday immediately. Those were not facts to miss.

It was after this that Aethra spoke again. "I have to warn you before we continue," she said, "that this next memory will be incredibly difficult to see. But it is important for you to know… when you are ready."

"Ah, shit. What do I need to prepare for?"

She didn't beat around the bush. "Emotional anguish. I cannot pretend that you will feel anything else when you see this."

"That's awesome." Toru was a fan of sarcasm.

(-)

Lia was fifteen when it happened. Just weeks shy of her sixteenth birthday, her father went out to do some training in the morning… and never returned. As she expected any girl in her situation would do, she went out to search for him when the minutes dragged into hours and the sun started to set. He should have returned home at two, and it was nearing five now. Tardiness was not normal for him. Something was wrong.

After twenty long minutes of running and searching, she found him. Instantly, she fell to her knees, too horrified by the sight before her to even breathe. There her father sat, slumped against a tree and soaked from head to toe in his own blood. His head was turned limply to one side. Shadow's once alert eyes stared endlessly at nothing, unfocused and clouded over. Both arms rested unmoving by his sides, and his favorite handgun lay in his right hand. It was completely empty of bullets.

Her father was dead. Try though she might, she found it impossible to deny. He was all but drained of blood, had been torn nearly to bits by the claws of some unknown creature. For it to have wounded him so thoroughly, for it to have killed him this way… How powerful must it have been? What sort of beast could have done this? She couldn't wrap her mind around it. She could even cry over her loss. As she stood and staggered away toward home, too numb to feel, all she could think to do was call her uncle. If he couldn't help, if he couldn't bring her father back, then no one could.

(-)

It was hard to focus on the memory once he saw the body, clenching his fists. It wasn't so much anger he felt this time, but exactly what Aethra had warned him about. This wasn't an emotion he was… used to, and as such he didn't react well. The chameleon shot to his feet and immediately teleported a long distance away, gripping his head tightly as he fought to control his instincts. He's not dead, he's not dead. You know he's not dead. Calm down before you make a mistake. He repeated these words over and over until he had control of himself, and only then did he realize that he'd accidentally torn into his own skin when he'd pulled his hands down. He'd heal, but this reaction alone was enough to make him not think about that immediately. Fuck. I really need to stay calm before I seriously hurt myself.

The chameleon took a seat on the ground and held his face in his hands, taking long, deep breaths to reclaim his composure. Shinobi breathing techniques soon kicked in and he managed to find himself in a calm… Well, calmer state of mind. "Continue."

There was nothing to say that could help him recover from this, so she merely did as he'd asked. Though… she did voice another warning. "This one will not be any easier to bear. I am sorry for what this will do to you, but it is important that you know what happened."

(-)

Just as Soren (who, like his sister, was an adult now) stepped out of the portal and Lia approached it to greet her brother, the universe just had to send more danger their way. A surprisingly massive spawn of Malevolence materialized not even thirty feet from their group, its body alive with enough raw power that it was nearly palpable. Though he normally tried not to think about it, Shadow couldn't help but reflect that the creature that had killed him a number of years back had looked just like this one, although this one was much larger. The former detail, of course, only lent credence to his budding belief that Malevolence had deliberately orchestrated his murder… for some reason.

…

Ever the protective older brother, Soren lunged for his sister and shoved her aside with a surprising amount of force. Lia hit the ground and skidded several feet away, spared from any damage from the attack that had been aimed at her. Soren, however… Soren… He had no chance. He had no chance in hell. All Shadow and Lia and everyone else could do was watch in horror as the boy (no, young man) took on the full brunt of the attack… and was all but disintegrated, leaving nothing but vague bits of ash behind to be carried away by the breeze.

Existence and reality together narrowed to a pinpoint of awareness, and Shadow was only very vaguely aware of sinking down to his knees. There was such a loud roaring in his ears that he couldn't hear anything aside from it and his pounding heart. His eyes watched as Lia remained frozen on the ground, eyes wide with shock. Marthal and Espio took advantage of the beast's distraction and together rushed it in order to kill it before it could take any more lives… but none of it really registered. He didn't pay attention to any of it, because he couldn't. Because all he could see and hear and think about was that horrible moment they had all just lived through and the internal agony he was now facing as a result of it.

Soren was dead.

First his parents, and now his son.

Gone.

All of them.

Shadow didn't know how much more death he could take…

(-)

Toru wasn't prepared for this, even with his attempt at powering through it all. He teleported further away, because he couldn't risk letting someone sense the energies he had bubbling outward. Why? Why the fuck would it target them? What reasonable goddamn purpose did it have?

He didn't expect an answer, and didn't give Aethra time to respond even if she had wanted to, throwing himself back to his feet and lashing out at the nearest inanimate object with his Darkness. Needless to say it was ripped apart into nothing, and though he'd hoped he would feel better, he didn't. It wasn't the same as destroying something like the ARK. Senseless destruction was just that. Senseless.

"What else is there?" he demanded harshly.

"There are four more memories. These next three will not harm you further, but I am afraid that the last one is… just as tragic."

"Continue. I want this over with so I can find who I'm killing for causing pain in Shadow's life."

"I understand." As with before, she did as asked right away.

(-)

Sonic walked over to his brother and niece. Shadow was seated with his back against a rather old tree and, in a rather rare open display of affection in such a public setting, he held his daughter close with both of his arms. She leaned heavily against him, her cheek pressed hard into his shoulder and her long hair spilling into her face.

Strong though she was, she had obviously been crying.

Strong though he was, his ears were low… and his gaze unfocused.

Most of the group was gathered around the silently grieving pair, equally silent and yet doing their best to lend their unyielding support anyhow. Sonic knelt down in front of the much darker-colored hedgehogs. "How are you holding up?" he asked each of them together, voice low so as to not startle.

Crimson eyes slid briefly Sonic's way, but Sonic had a sneaking suspicion that Shadow hadn't actually heard him, let alone seen him. Lia, however, stirred from her ruminations enough to wipe at her cheeks and brush aside her hair with one hand. "How well are we meant to be doing?" she asked softly and with no actual heat to her words in spite of the temper she had inherited from her father.

The question earned a sigh. "There are better people to ask. I'm not the best at grieving. ...Healthily."

Somehow, the corner of her lips twitched into a weak smile… albeit for just a second. "As I recall," she agreed.

Emerald eyes shifted to Shadow again, but the other hedgehog was looking away again. He was uncharacteristically detached… and unresponsive. 'He'll have no further time to gather his thoughts about all of this later. Best to leave him alone while I can.'

(-)

The response and way Shadow acted cast a shadow over the rest of the memory, leaving Toru with nothing left to feel but irritation. Shadow first, then Soren… the fucking bastards. Just had to ruin a good thing, huh?

(-)

There was a very brief silence before Aethra spoke again. "There is something you need to understand about this memory, in particular. By the time of this memory, many of Shadow's old allies had grown old and died of various causes. However, the only semi-Immortal who was aging back then was his brother. Sonic's body was, in many ways, made into that of a mortal most of the time. The vast majority of his Chaos has always been sealed away given how dangerous it would have been to let an infant or small child have access to such energies. It is hardly any different from someone with entirely dormant Light or Darkness aging and whatnot like a mortal. For this reason, he grew to be very old. Back then, he and his allies did not know what a semi-Immortal was, so they never questioned any of this, nor did they have any way of knowing that their parents survived. Likewise, it was not known back then that Shadow was a semi-Immortal either. That is all the necessary context you need for this."

"Okay." After that, the memory played out for him.

(-)

Tails was seated in Shadow's home drinking water while the hedgehog indulged in a rare glass of deep red wine. The inventor let out a heavy breath, his mind focused on his and Sonic's conversation on an earlier day. In that discussion, they had talked about how people were aging and dying these days. Even Sonic was growing older and weaker. Yet Tails, Shadow, and Espio weren't. No one knew why Tails was staying young. Tails was only maintaining his youth because of his regeneration. Shadow was a cyborg and could feasibly live until the end of time so long as his non-biological parts were maintained and/or improved on going forward.

Tails couldn't get it all out of his mind. "I still can't fully wrap my head around how long we're gonna live, Shadow." Shadow just shrugged, offering up no comment at this point, so the fox continued unimpeded. "I mean… it's just so wild, I guess, knowing we're gonna be so young for so long, you know?" Shadow offered another vague shrug, and Tails thought for a time about everything he had just said. Then, eventually, he added, "I think I understand now the reality Sonic must have faced when he was a kid… Why he was so reluctant to make friends with us, knowing he was seemingly destined to live longer."

Silence reigned for some time following Tails's statement, then Shadow surprised Tails by sighing a little… and making a quiet admission of his own. "...I finally understand the innate suffering the Immortals were born to drag themselves through," he murmured, "and the reasons behind Jet's own unspoken pain." He gazed down at the floor and quietly finished, "I understand the Immortals in general, I suppose… at least as much as an outsider can."

"Yeah… I think I get it now, too." Tails looked over at his friend. "Guess it's a good thing we're all gonna be around to help each other out, then. Pain is so much easier to deal with when you're not alone."

Shadow shifted his gaze to the glass in his hand and slowly swirled the liquid within. When he finally spoke again, his words surprised Tails once more. "...I suppose it is."

(-)

There was some reprieve… despite the obvious gloomy mood. Seeing Shadow admit that handling pain alongside others was a good thing... was, well, good. Enough so that Toru temporarily ignored the painful side of this. That Sonic was aging while Shadow wasn't.

(-)

One month after Amy's passing Shadow stood outside of Sonic's home. He, like just about everyone else, had been taking care to visit the elderly hedgehog as frequently as possible to prevent him from becoming isolated with his pain. Today, he was visiting his half-brother alongside Silver and Blaze's children and grandchildren. Shadow hung back for now, watching in silence as Sonic interacted with the others. Though Sonic smiled, Shadow noticed that that smile was strained… tainted forevermore with a profound sadness that he could never hope to hide.

Reading his intentions, one of Shadow's retinal scanners activated and analyzed Sonic's aging form. As Shadow had suspected it would, the data his scan had gathered indicated that Sonic's time was coming soon. Perhaps sooner than it should have been, but with his heart as broken as it was… it was to be expected. Still, expected didn't translate to easy.

As much as Shadow had always tried to distance himself from others, he still found all of this to be extremely difficult to deal with. Deactivating his scanner, Shadow searched his own heart, trying to discern the nature of his own emotions… the hardest ones of all for him to understand. Eventually, however, he simply shook his head as though that action alone would clear it. Then, finally, he pushed himself off of the tree he had been leaning against and walked over to the group.

He joined them as quietly as ever, saying nothing to anyone initially. And yet, for once… he willingly joined in on the interaction. It was likely among the last he would ever have with Sonic, and he knew it. The fact that he chose now to make a meaningful effort to spend time with the other man was purely coincidental. Or, at least… that was what he said. The fact that Sonic knew better and managed to smile about it…

That was good.

That was very, very good.

(-)

This surprisingly was enough to help take Toru out of his borderline rage, the mood of this memory breaking through that layer of anger the chameleon had latched onto. He chose to keep it that way, and it was really good to see Shadow interact with people when he would have otherwise done differently.

And up next was the one that potentially threatened to send him right back into his near dark state, one where he might not think clearly and make a horrible mistake. He couldn't allow that… but he also couldn't delay this forever. It had to happen soon.

"Show me." he thought to Aethra, doing his level best to steel his nerves.

The memory rapidly faded into focus.

(-)

Too numb to feel, to think, to speak, to even comprehend what had just happened, Shadow left the hospital room where Lia had been staying. Five days she had been sick. Five days she had been here. It hadn't even been a week. Everything had been so mild before today. And now… Now she was… She was…

He stumbled on his way out the door but was too dazed to really notice it. There was no real telling how he'd gotten there, but at some point afterward he found himself sinking heavily onto the floor against a wall in some random corridor with his knees up to his chest and his head in his hands. Suddenly, he couldn't breathe. Shock all but shattered, giving way to a crushing wave of grief the likes of which he'd only ever felt once before.

Squeezing his eyes shut and still struggling for air as he began to tremble, Shadow curled in on himself tighter. For only the second time in his long life, he broke apart and cried. Lia was dead. She was dead. And in the face of that, the only response he could muster was tears.

He had nothing left of himself to give.

(-)

Toru crumbled into a sitting position suddenly, the devastating blow of knowing that Lia died like that crashing over him. Three people he cared about, and he knew about the deaths of all three of them… in the span of some few minutes. It made him wonder if this was related to what Ghune had said when she'd met Lia… but that was a fleeting thought. His focus was on repeating that last bit of the memory in his own head, seeing that pain and experiencing it over and over with Shadow. I wish I had been there… maybe something could have been done to help.

Even if that was true, it was in the past and nothing he did could really change it. Everything came tumbling down on him and he wrapped his arms over his head and curled up with Darkness surrounding him. He needed some time to sort this all out and… get control of himself again. It had been so long since he'd felt such raw emotions, but that wasn't what he was worried about.

His worry was for Shadow.

Worry about Shadow having suffered alone, worry about seeing the man cry, about the hedgehog going through any of this. He didn't want Shadow to have to suffer through any pain like that again, and he had every intention of doing everything to prevent that from ever occurring again.

~保護者~

She just had to follow Ghune's tracks, that was all it took. Easier said than done. Some of Ghune's focus always went into covering her tracks with magic, or just preventing them from being left, but the two carried a special item with them everywhere they went so they could find one another. That gave all the information she needed.

Appearing in the living room that Ghune had apparently been frequenting, the woman sniffed the air carefully. There was a chameleon sitting on the couch that apparently didn't notice her at all. He also seemed to be completely out of touch with reality. Maybe he was on something. There were three kids in the home, and… three strong beings, all adults.

Then there was the other vampire in the home. Her attention immediately locked onto him and she walked to the room, silently pushing the door open to investigate. She approached the sleeping vampire… which she thought was vaguely unusual unless he was recently turned, and then she realized.

"What the heck?" The woman noticed that the vampire, a male vampire, had a baby inside him. Only then did she realize he was a Black Arms as well, so… yeah, none of this made any sense.

Determined to get to the bottom of this, she walked closer and tapped his shoulder once. Sufficiently startled out of whatever dream he'd been having, Shadow instinctively wrenched himself away and jumped out of bed in one fluid motion, coming to stand defensively on the other side of the bed with suspicious eyes narrowed at her. "You met with Ghune recently, correct?" the woman asked, narrowing her own eyes.

One black ear twitched. He could already tell what this woman was, but that didn't make him any less distrustful. Who the hell is she?

"You smell like her," the woman acknowledged. "It was you on our world, one of the newly turned vampires." She thought for a moment. "You were. My name is Ryint. I'm a close friend of Ghune's, and I work with her often. I came to investigate why she's been so far from our world so many times recently." Shadow continued to remain silent. He didn't care for the pleasantries and never had.

Ryint sniffed the air again and stood straighter, relaxing. "The chameleon in the living room, is he okay?"

There was no reason why he wouldn't be, but Shadow still subtly scanned the chameleon (via scanning the whole house and those within it) to be sure. While Toru's mind was very active at the moment, that could easily have just meant he was thinking hard about something. Other than that, everything was normal. "He's fine."

Ah, so you aren't mute. "Good. He seemed zoned out when I came in." She thought for a moment before murmuring, "Sorry for just waltzing in, I should add. Bad move on my part." That just earned her a blink. "Beyond that, I assume you've been learning how to manage your feeding desire and how to use your magics with Ghune, correct?"

"I have been working with magic," was all Shadow said. Much to his continuing chagrin, nothing had been done yet about the issue with his need to feed, because nothing could be done. It was on him to gain control eventually.

"Ghune is both a good and bad person to teach how to manage feeding," Ryint said. "She has one of the strongest desires that I've seen when it flares up. I could teach you a method that worked for me." Shadow still didn't talk (he was at his least conversational with strangers when tired like he was), but his ears did reflexively straighten a bit in response to his cautious interest in what she had to say.

"First and foremost you need to actively focus on suppressing the desire when you first start feeling it to not only train yourself, but also give yourself time to react before it overtakes you. It won't be the perfect solution and it honestly may not give you much time, but every second counts." Two containers appeared in her hands and she idly tossed them to him, expecting him to catch them. "These are filled with blood, donated by strong vampires to help the newly turned. Even if this isn't enough, once more it delays the issue long enough to respond appropriately and come up with a plan."

The containers were caught with wisps of Darkness and then set on a nightstand nearby. "Fine," was all Shadow said initially. After a pause, however, he continued by forcing himself to be polite for at least one moment. "...Thanks."

"No need," Ryint explained, blinking once slowly. "Once I realized why she's been coming here so much, I knew that further aid was necessary. You'll get the hang of this all in due time."

That, once again, just earned her a blink. Shadow had no real idea what to say, unable to think of a decent reply while still trying to wake up fully. He still wasn't used to how tired he was these days and wasn't coping that well overall. Still, though… I prefer being awake, he idly remembered. I do not enjoy sleep. Refocusing on the conversation at hand, he eventually said, "Was there anything else?" The less time he had to spend being social, the better. However, he wasn't at all trying to be deliberately rude, at least not with this person. Had she been just about any other possible stranger, things would have been different.

Ryint shrugged vaguely. "Unless you have questions, I don't intend to intrude any longer. Next time I'll use the door, too."

Shadow decided he did have one. "Ghune's magic is different from my own. Is there someone with more similar magics I can speak with at some point?"

The woman's nostrils flared vaguely and she nodded. "You've definitely got some different ones. You may want to speak to Akol. He's highly respected by myself and Ghune, and is skilled with his magic." Shadow returned her nod, just a little, already deciding he would work on that later. She watched him for a moment before adding, "Just a note, if you want to carry those containers and not be questioned, hold onto the desire for it to not be seen and will it that others cannot." The woman smiled a little. "Might save you some social hassle."

Crimson eyes slid over to the containers in question. There was brief quiet, then the containers indeed faded from view. ...Interesting.

"Play around with that ability for practice," Ryint said, turning away and grabbing the bat that had until now been hidden on her back. "I keep this out of sight at all times. It's good to keep me on my toes." He inclined his head slowly. Not wanting to intrude any longer than she had, the female vampire vanished from sight shortly after.

With her gone, Shadow did a scan on his home again. Nothing was amiss. Soren and Lia were in their rooms being quiet. Myriu was in her own room, sound asleep. Caer was gone, but Satsuno and Seiko were back and resting. Toru was still… doing whatever he was doing. Shadow deactivated the scan and climbed back into the bed. He was all too willing to go back to bed this time.

~保護者~

15,417 words this time. Many thanks as always to Blazing Winds for all of his help and support. Posted (at about 4:20 p.m.) 11-29-21.