A/N: Hey guys it's been a while. I'm so sorry about that. I had a hard time getting into the writing mood. Plus of all the stories I've written so far, this is the one I'm having the most trouble with. I'm still trying to figure out which direction to go. But never fear I will finish this story. It just might take me longer to do so. I promise I'll try to not make you guys wait just as long for the next update. Anyway I hope you all are doing well and staying safe. Take care and enjoy Part V. Please review. Love, Ellivia22

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans Cyborg would've had a love interest in the show that lasted longer than an episode or two. The poor guy needs some love too. I also don't own The Odyssey. That belongs to Homer.

Trust Me

Part V

Beast Boy

Don't freak out. Don't freak out. DON'T freak out!

Unfortunately it seems my body is unwilling to obey my mental command. My entire body goes completely rigid and I start to shake. The entire world is closing in on me. Instead of the usual emotion of hate that I have reserved for the masked villain, utter fear and dread consume me, even though I don't remember what Slade did to me. I glance around nervously, looking for his robotic army. The park is completely empty.

"Relax," Slade says in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. "I don't want to fight. I just want to talk."

I grit my teeth in an attempt to appear angry instead of terrified. Just seeing the masked villain makes me physically sick. I should just fly back to the tower, but my feet refuse to move. "You're crazy if you think I'd want to be your apprentice after everything you did to me."

"You mean after all the things your friends claim that I did," Slade says calmly.

I glare at him. How does he know that I don't remember what happened? It doesn't matter. Does he seriously think I'm stupid enough to believe what he says? "My friends would never lie to me. Besides I remember that I was put in the hospital because of you!"

"I admit, I am not the nicest guy. I have done things that could be considered questionable. However, there is one thing that I never do. I never lie. As for your friends, they're not as innocent as you think they are. In fact it's not just your forgotten past they are hiding from you. They secretly despise you and wish you would leave the team. I, on the other hand, am the one who truly appreciates you, Garfield."

I clamp my hands over my elf shaped ears in an attempt to drown out Slade's sadistic voice. He's lying. He HAS to be lying! My friends don't hate me. They've been super supportive since I lost my memories. They wouldn't act this way if they secretly hate me. "Shut up! I don't believe you! You're just trying to turn me against my friends. You're a liar and I refuse to listen to you!"

"I'm the liar?" Slade takes a step closer, tripling the fear I feel on the inside. My heart is pounding so hard against my chest it might leap out. "Tell me, did your so called "friends" inform you how you got the wound on your side? Or what happened after?"

Absently I touch the wound on my side. "Well no, but that's because they are trying to protect me!"

"You mean they are trying to keep you from the truth."

"W-what do you mean?" I choke out.

"Your friends witnessed you getting stabbed and did nothing to help you. Instead they blamed you for the failed mission and almost threw you off the team."

"N-no!" The confidence I have in my friends is fading quickly. Is this what my teammates have been hiding from me this whole time? Does that explain why I sense a huge amount of guilt from Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg? And Raven? Would she really do that to me? I stare at his masked face, determined to see the lie, but his serious expression doesn't change. "I don't believe you! It's not true!"

"It is true. They left you to bleed on the street. Your friends don't care about you and never have. Join me. I'll make sure you are appreciated."

"Like you appreciated Terra?" I shoot back. "Sorry dude, but no sale. I believe in my friends and don't trust you in the slightest. Now leave me alone!"

Before Slade has the opportunity to say more I turn into an eagle and fly out of the park and back to the tower as fast as I possibly can.

It takes me a lot longer to get out of bed the next morning than usual. I didn't sleep at all. Instead I spent most of the night tossing and turning in my lower bunk. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Slade's words out of my head. Worst of all, I couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was telling the truth. By the time I have the willpower to get out of bed it's noon.

I sigh wearily, pulling on my uniform. For the first time in a while I don't feel like my cheerful self. Instead I feel scared and unsure, not to mention very upset. Until I calm down from last night's events I don't have the desire to see anyone. Unfortunately I know that Robin will come by to lecture me about missing combat practice. I really wish he wouldn't. I really don't need this right now. I cross my messy room, narrowly tripping on a video game I left on the floor.

Knock Knock

That must be him now. I sigh, rubbing my eyes. Might as well get this over with. I open the door, bracing myself for Robin's wrath.

Instead of it being Robin on the other side of the door it's my best friend on the other side. Tofu eggs and bacon are on a plate in one hand, a glass of soy milk in the other. Looks like he made me breakfast again.

"Hey BB you missed combat practice. Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine," I attempt to say as normally as possible. I fail miserable. My tone is lower than usual and I struggle to keep it steady.

The metal man looks at me in concern. I notice he also looks a little nervous. "Are you sure? You look like you didn't sleep at all last night."

I can't hold back my insecurities and fears any longer. I focus my attention on the ground. "Cy, I ran into Slade last night when I went for a walk. H-he told me that you guys secretly hate me and that you all hurt me intentionally. B-but he's just lying, right?"

Cyborg is silent for a few minutes. The longer he doesn't answer, the more upset I feel. "We don't hate you, BB. You are a valuable member on this team and we all care about you. However, I can't deny that we hurt you and treated you in a way you didn't deserve."

My eyes squeeze shut tight. I struggle to keep my emotions at bay. It's difficult. I don't want to ask this question, but I know that I have to. "Did you guys leave me to bleed on the street?"

Cyborg's next words, although guilt ridden, break something inside me. "Yes."

Tears fall rapidly down my face. Instead of being angry at my best friend for abandoning me like that, I feel a sense of self hatred that I haven't felt in years. I must've done something really stupid to make them act this way. "W-why?" I choke out. "W-what did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything. We were the ones who were wrong. We didn't trust you when we should have."

"Because of the Beast."

"You remember turning into the Beast?" Cyborg asks.

"No. Raven told me last night. D-did I really attack you guys?"

"Yes, and that is why we kept our distance from you after I gave you an antidote to stop you from changing. We weren't sure if you were still dangerous. Instead we ended up hurting you. We said and did things that we all regret. I-I'm so sorry Beast Boy with all that I am. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. I hope that once you remember what we did you'll be able to find it in you to forgive us."

Cyborg's tone is hoarse and broken. When I finally have the courage to look up at the metal man I notice that there are tear stains on his cheek. From his expression I know that he does regret whatever he did to me. Still, I'm not sure if I can forgive him. Not only did he leave me to bleed on the street like Slade said, he kept this from me and is still hiding something. I can't deal with this. The pain and sense of betrayal is too much.

"I-I need to be alone for a while." I stutter. Before Cyborg can say anything else, I shut the door. I slide to the ground, my back resting against the door.

How...how could he do this to me? My own best friend! When we first met I thought I finally found someone I could trust with my whole life-someone who would support me through anything. Evidently I was very wrong. He was never my friend. Is there anyone I can trust? Does anyone care about me at all?

Knock Knock

"G-go away Cyborg," I struggle to say. My voice cracks. "I don't want to talk to you right now!"

To my surprise it's not Cyborg on the other side of my door, but Robin. "Beast Boy, please open up. I need to talk to you."

Oh great. He's going to lecture me about missing combat practice. That is the last thing I need right now. Might as well get it over with. I struggle to my feet. I sway, not having much strength in my knees. I wipe the tears off my face and force a broad grin on my face. I have to act normal-otherwise Robin might consider my emotions weakness and throw me off the team. Though after all I've learned so far, I'm not sure if I want to stay on the Titans anymore. After a moment's of hesitation I open the door.

I am taken aback when I see the Boy Wonder. Instead of his usual uniform, Robin is wearing the tux he wore when he was forced to go to the prom with Kitten. In his hands he's clutching purple tulips.

I push my encounter with Slade and my conversation with Cyborg to the back of my mind. Instead I decide to focus on something more positive. It looks like Robin is finally ready to make a move on Starfire. Despite everything I've learned so far I decide to be the supportive friend I always strive to be. I grin at Robin. "Awe, are those for me?" I say in a fake dramatic voice. I bat my eyelashes. "You're so sweet, Robby poo!"

"Oh shut up!" Robin says in annoyance. His cheeks are red. "These are for Starfire."

"I figured as much. Great gesture. You're finally going to ask her out then?"

The masked leader pales at the very thought. "I-I'm going to try."

It's very rare seeing Robin freak out like this. I sympathize with him. I remember how hard it was when I asked Terra out on a date. Thankfully Starfire likes Robin back so his experience should be much more positive than mine was. "Do you need a wing man?" Robin gives me a cynical look. "I promise that I'll be on my best behavior."

"No thanks. I promise I'll let you know how it turns out though."

I nod. "All right. Good luck then."

Robin isn't gone more than five minutes when curiosity gets the better of me. We've been waiting for ages for Robin and Starfire to finally get together. This is a moment I definitely can't miss. Besides witnessing this might cheer me up a bit. Turning into a fly I zoom down the hall way towards the kitchen, narrowing missing Robin. Knowing Starfire as well as I do I know she's in the kitchen.

The kitchen looks enormous in the point of view of my fly form. Sure enough Starfire is there, looking just as huge. The alien princess is stirring some grayish mixture in a bowl. I rest on one of the cabinets above her head and wait for Robin to enter. A few minutes later he does so.

"H-Hey Star," Robin says uneasily. His face is unnaturally pale. "What are you making?"

"Tofu pudding," Starfire says. I force myself not to puke just at that very thought. "I am hoping that this will help Beast Boy feel better."

"I, uh, am sure he will enjoy it." It's not hard to catch the lie in his voice. Robin clears his throat nervously, extending the tulips towards the alien. "These are for you."

Starfire takes the flowers. Instead of acting overjoyed like I expected to her, she seems unmoved from the gesture. "Thank you, Robin. That is very kind of you."

The tension between my two friends is so sharp it cuts the air like a knife. Wow, he really did make her mad. I watch sympathetically as Robin struggles to overcome the awkwardness. "I was wondering if you would like to...go with me to the mall then see a movie."

Starfire places the tulips next to her on the counter then resumes stirring the pudding in the bowl. "I do not think that is a good idea," she says quietly.

"W-why not?"

"You know why, Robin. I will not return your feelings until you have made amends to Beast Boy."

"I have been making amends. I'm being nicer to him, treating him much better. Besides, you hurt him too." Robin argues back.

"Which is the reason I am making this for him. I am going to apologize for my mistake and ask him to do the 'hanging out with me." Starfire looks up from her work and stares straight into Robin's mask. "I also plan to tell him the truth. I am going to tell him about his suicide attempt and how it is our fault."

My blood turns into ice. I struggle to stay in my fly form. I must have heard her wrong. Did she really just say suicide attempt?

"But Beast Boy is happier not knowing. Besides, as soon as he remembers everything he and Raven will leave the team forever."

"We are being dishonest! We hurt Beast Boy badly and need to make it up to him! You have not atoned enough for all that you have done and I will not be with you until he has truly forgiven you!"

Robin lowers his head in defeat. Instead of heading towards the direction of the hallway he just came, he enters the elevator and out of sight. I don't know where he's going, nor do I care. I can't stand being here any longer. Not caring Starfire sees me I zoom past her and back into my room as fast as I possibly can. I fall to my knees once I'm back to my human form. I feel nauseous and terrified all at once.

Suicide? I...attempted suicide? I admit, my life hasn't been easy. I've witnessed death of my parents, been both physically and emotionally abused by people who were supposed to take care of me. I've never really had high self esteem or confidence in myself. However, I always had the view that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Besides, being on the Teen Titans, and having my teammates, my friends, has helped me forget about my past and kept me strong. Telling them my lame jokes kept me happy and gave me a purpose in my life. So what happened that made me resort to something so drastic?

Your friends left you to bleed on the street. They don't care about you.

The more I think about the conversation I just overheard and Cyborg's admission, the more I'm starting to believe what Slade was saying. If what he's saying is true, then what else happened between me and my friends? How did they hurt me and why? Was it because of the Beast? This explains why they withheld the truth. An even bigger question: If I tried to kill myself, then why didn't I succeed?

The anguish I'm feeling in my heart is so strong that the only thing I can do is stay on the ground and sob. I clutch onto my chest as it sears, which is difficult to do since my entire body is shaking so hard. My life has become a complete and utter mess. I don't know who I can trust anymore. I wish with all my heart that my memories would come back to me. I don't want to live like this anymore.

Raven

The first thing I do once battle practice is over is leave the tower as fast as I can. Even though Beast Boy didn't show up for practice I can still feel his presence strongly as if he was there. What worries me is that his emotions are starting to become dark again. He's hurting and confused on the inside. I should check on him just in case he's starting to remember, but my feelings are still raw from his rejection, yet not rejection last night.

To pass the time I've been in the old antique bookstore located in the mall looking for new titles to add to my collection. The thing I like the best about this store is that it carries books that are hard to find anywhere else.

My eyes linger on a dusty copy of The Odyssey-written completely in Latin. I haven't read books in other languages besides English and Azarathian. Maybe I should give this a try, even though I've read this story before. I'm not as good as Starfire when it comes to learning new languages, but I never shy away from a challenge.

I pull the book off the shelf, wiping the dust off the spine. I remember the story of Odysseus' journey to get home to his wife in Ithaca. I admired the love Penelope had for him even though he had been gone for ten years. She still waited for his return, even though he was presumed to be dead.

I sigh, thinking about Beast Boy. I'll wait for you to remember me, Garfield. No matter how long it takes.

A sudden inspiration hits me. Just because he doesn't remember me and he rejected me last night doesn't mean I have to give up. Instead of wallowing in self pity like I have been all morning I can take a different approach. I can tell him everything, just like I planned to do last night. And maybe, just maybe my efforts will help jog his memory-at least the memory of us.

Well Love, I muse to myself. Looks like I'm going to need your help again.

After purchasing the book, I head to my favorite cafe for a place of inspiration. The dark cafe is emptier than usual. I can't say that I'm too surprised though, since it is noon on a Monday. I fly over to my favorite table in the corner. Thankfully the poetry reading for lunch has just ended so I'll have total peace and quiet.

"Hey Raven,"

I look up to see Cara, the owner of the cafe standing in front of me. She's a woman in her mid forties. Her long blonde braid is draped over her shoulder. I like the black and red dress she's wearing today. Since I come here so often we've become good friends. "You want your usual order?"

"Yes please. Thanks Cara."

While I wait for my order I produce a blank piece of paper and pen in front of me with a wave of my hand. Then I begin to write. I don't pay attention to the words that are appearing on the page. Instead I let Love do all the work. She's much better at the mushy, gushy stuff than I am. I close my eyes, thinking about all the things Beast Boy and I went through before he lost his memories: How our relationship came to be, saving him from Slade, and of course, our first date in the park. He has to know how real my feelings are for him, even if I don't show it much. He has to know that he's the only reason I remain at the tower at all, or on Earth for that matter. He is the only one who matters to me anymore.

All finished Love whispers breathlessly.

Cara places the steaming cup of hot tea in front of me. I thank her quietly, then pick up the piece of paper, curious on what Love wrote. Besides I have to make sure it sounds like me, and not too gushy.

Dear Garfield,

I know things have been very confusing for you since you lost your memory. I'm so sorry that I haven't been there for you when you needed me the most. Things have gotten so complicated and I've been having a hard time processing the different emotions I've been feeling. I promise you once you start getting your memory back things will make more sense. If you need me for anything, I promise that I'll be there for you in an instant.

Last night I promised to tell you the whole truth. I am keeping that promise. I wasn't completely honest when I said the team forgave you for your actions while your were the Beast. They did forgive you, but not before they did some terrible things to you. Instead of supporting you and forgiving you for something you had no control over Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg did more than just avoid you. They did some terrible things. They hurt you, badly, put you down, and made you lose faith in yourself. Each one of them have done things that no decent person would do. They broke you. To this day I still hurt for all the things they did to you. I swear to you if I knew that all of it was happening sooner I would've put a stop to it immediately. By the time I discovered the truth it was almost too late.

What Cyborg said was true, we did meet during a mission. However our relationship didn't begin until the day I caught you about to take your own life. I managed to stop you just in time. It was then that I discovered that you feel the same way about me as I do for you.

I'm so sorry that I kept all of this from you. I never meant to lie to you, but you were being yourself for the first time in a long time. You were happy, and I didn't want to take that away from you. I want you to remain happy, even if that means you not remembering our relationship and everything we've been through together.

Garfield, I love you. I've loved you for such a long time. This short month that we've been dating has been amazing. Every moment I get to spend with you makes me feel such positive emotions that I've never felt before. Controlling my emotions was so much easier. Before you lost your memory we were planning on leaving the Titans and go to your home in Africa. I hope with all my heart that you'll still want to do so when you get your memories back. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.

If you believe what I'm saying in this letter is true, then please meet me on the roof of Titan's Tower tonight. I promise I'll make it a night you'll always remember.

Love always,

Rachel Raven Roth

Wow. Even though I don't want to admit it, I'm impressed. Love's words are beautiful, yet full of poignancy and honesty. After he reads this, he'll have to believe that I'm Rachel and that we belong together. I can't wait to give this to him.

After taking a last sip and paying for my tea, I fold the letter and carefully put it in my pocket. Excitement and nerves bubble inside me. Beast Boy is finally going to learn the truth of all that he's forgotten. I just hope that this has a positive effect instead of a negative one.

When I arrive back at the tower ten minutes later I realize immediately that something is terribly wrong at the tower. The emotions that I immediately sense once I enter the kitchen is confusion, betrayal, and sheer anguish. I don't even need to use my magic to know who it's coming from. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and I start to feel sick. Beast Boy remembered something-something very bad. I don't waste any time. I immediately fly out of the common room and down the hall towards his room.

The hallway isn't empty when I get closer to Beast Boy's room. Starfire is standing outside the changeling's door a bowl in her arms. "Friend Beast Boy, please come out. I-I wish to speak with you. There are things I need to explain. Please allow me entrance."

"G-go away!" It's evident that he's been crying based on his choked tone.

"What's going on?" I ask once I get within earshot. "Is he okay?"

"I-I am not sure," Starfire stutters. I notice that tears are in her eyes. "I came by to ask Beast Boy if he would like to 'hang out' with me. He refuses to open the door. I think he has remembered something."

It's as if I'm experiencing de ja voux. Just a month ago Beast Boy was locked up in his room, suffering. My heart pounds. It's a struggle to keep my emotions under control. I have to remain strong if I'm going to help him. I knock sharply on his door.

"Beast Boy it's Rach- I mean Raven. Can I come in?"

"No! I d-don't wan to see anyone. I especially don't want to see you!"

I refuse to be affronted by his statement. I try again. "Beast Boy, I know that everything is scary right now and your memories don't make sense, but I promise that I can help you get through this. You just have to trust me."

"Trust you?! I'll never trust you! You've been lying to me! You ALL have been lying to me! Just LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"R-Raven, I'm scared." Starfire says timidly. "What if he-."

"Go. I'll take care of him."

"But-."

I give Starfire a look. The alien doesn't have to be told twice. Quickly she turns around and flies out of the hall. "Beast Boy, I'm coming in."

"Y-YOU WILL NOT!"

I phase through the wall into his room. The green boy is on the floor of his messy room, shaking uncontrollably. Tears are running rapidly down his face, his eyes swollen and red. Once he sees me he tries to put on an expression of anger, but it comes out as devastated instead. "GET OUT!"

"No," I respond in a gentle voice. I kneel beside him and look at him sincerely. "You need me and I'm going to be there for you."

Before he can protest I pull him into my arms. He tries to resist at first, but I hold on firm. Eventually he stops fighting me, his grip tightening around me. Just like the night of his suicide attempt he sobs hard into my shoulder. His breathing is heavy and his body is shaking, as if he's suffering from an anxiety attack. I stroke his back, my heart aching for his pain, yet I feel calmer having him in my arms again. I can feel the muscles in his back and his heart pounding against me. My cloak becomes wet from his tears. Tears of my own begin to fall. If only I could take his pain away. All I am able to do is hold him.

"It's okay," I whisper. My fingers run through his emerald hair. "You're going to be okay."

"I-I don't know who to trust anymore, R-Raven," Beast Boy chokes out through his tears. "I-I'm so scared and confused."

"I know. I promise you can trust me. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

Hours pass before I am able to calm him down enough to fall asleep in the lower bunk of his bed. Then I go back to my room to meditate for a while. I need time to calm myself down and keep an eye on my boyfriend at the same time. It looks like giving Beast Boy the letter is going to have to wait.

Beast Boy

Tonight was the night. The team was going to go to the carnival and I was going to be alone in the tower. It was the perfect time to do something I should have done a long time ago. I had set my affairs in order and said goodbye to my friends, well indirectly anyway. Soon I would be in the afterlife with my parents at last. I couldn't wait.

I grabbed the silver gun by its black handle from off my pillow with shaking hands. My heart was pounding so hard it was beginning to make my chest hurt. Even though I was ready to end my life at long last I couldn't help but be terrified. I placed the gun against my temple, closing my eyes.

The tears fell down my face at a rapid rate. With my eyes closed everything that had happened the past few days flashed through my mind like a bad movie. Words of hate and anger rang in my head over and over again like a bad record.

Jerk, Worthless, stupid, less of use

My eyes squeezed tighter. The hate and betrayal from the other Titans was too much from me to bear. They hated me and it was all my fault. I was a Beast-a monster. The best thing to do was spare them the burden that I had become.

I cocked the gun, my breathing coming in short gasps. The anguish was becoming too much. I had to do it. I had to do it now before I chickened out. The last thing I thought about was Raven. Her beautiful violet hair and eyes; the girl I loved with all my heart; the girl I was going to miss the most.

"BEAST BOY! NO!"

BANG!

The next thing I knew I was on my back staring into terrified violet eyes. Raven

My eyes pop open wide as if my alarm had gone off, even though nothing like that happened. I sit up so fast in my lower bunk I narrowly hit my head. I struggle to get my breathing under control. What a dream, yet it wasn't a dream. It was a memory. Oh God. I remember.

There are still bits and pieces of my past that are missing, but I remember what my teammates were trying to keep from me. I still don't recall what the others did to me, but I once again feel the anguish and sense of betrayal deep in my soul. The way I'm feeling right now is proof that my dream is real. I did try to commit suicide. I remember stealing the gun from the evidence room when the others were on a mission. I remember placing the gun against my temple and feeling Death calling out to me. The last memory I recall is pulling the trigger and Raven staring back at me with frightened eyes.

Raven. She was the one who stopped me; she was the reason I didn't succeed. I always thought that she couldn't stand me because of my lame jokes. Then I think about her comforting embrace and the kind words she expressed today. She does care about me. Maybe more than that. She was so sweet and gentle. I can't help but feel like we share a deeper connection. Is there something else that I'm forgetting? Something between us? Did she have another reason for stopping me besides being my friend?

When I get the strength to leave my bedroom I head straight to Raven's room, my heart pounding. I need to see her. She's the only Titan I trust at this point and I need her now more than ever.

Raven

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," I chant softly to myself over and over again. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos."

It's been three hours and I still haven't been able to find my center. No matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about Beast Boy and the events that occurred earlier. I'm too worried. I wanted so badly to ask him what he remembered, but once I finally calmed him down I just couldn't do it. It isn't hard to guess though. He must have remembered something that had to do with our teammates. With one eye open I check the clock on the wall. 6PM. Dinnertime. I don't have any desire to dine with my teammates so I'll just grab a cup of tea, check on Beast Boy, then go back to my room.

Knock Knock

The knock on my door is loud and sounds urgent. I float to the ground, pulling on my cloak. It's probably Starfire coming to ask about Beast Boy's well being. Ugh I'm not in the mood for this. I'm still physically and mentally exhausted from trying to help the changeling earlier.

Knock Knock

I swing the door open. "WHAT do you- Beast Boy?"

I stare wide eyed at the changeling in front of me. I thought he was still asleep. He's visibly upset-as if I hadn't comforted him at all. His green face is extremely pale and tear stained with more tears falling. He's also shaking. "A-are you okay?" I ask. "What's wrong?"

"I-I remember," he whispers.

My heart rises slightly, but I refuse to be hopeful. "You regained your memories? W-what do you remember?"

"I-I tried to commit suicide, but you intervened. Why Raven? Why did you stop me from ending my life?"

My heart pounds hard against my chest. I'm not going to chicken out this time. "Because I love you, Garfield."

Then before he can react, I grab him by the front of his purple and black uniform and press my lips passionately against his.

To be continued...