*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax/Khara, Film Roman, or Paws, Inc. For purposes of adding to the authenticity of the crossover, the events described below are to be imagined in the visual style of Jim Davis.*

The shot opened on Tokyo-3, the sound of the Angel alert system blaring across the city-so loudly, one could even hear it from the top of Mt. Fuji. Many buildings were retracted underground, leaving only a small swath of dummy skyscrapers that were disguised weapon emplacements. Into this scene, narration began as a certain title graphic appeared over the shot.

Garfield [showing as much enthusiasm as he can muster-which is barely]:

"Just when you thought it was off the air for good, 21 years later and it's time for:

Screaming with Binky"

The scene cut to a shot of a certain orange-furred cat with black stripes, sitting in a deck chair on a hill on the outskirts of the city. He was observing the goings-on with a pair of high-powered binoculars when he turned his attention towards us.

Garfield: "Here we are in the fortress city of Tokyo-3, Japan. (Gee, I wonder what happened to 1 and 2...) Why a fortress city? Because it's also the epicenter of mankind's battle against the alien monsters strangely dubbed 'Angels', for some reason. Any time one of these rejects from Toho's studio backlot comes to town, the United Nations special agency NERV-what the name stands for, I have no clue-deploys its equally-colossal fighting machines known as the Evangelions, piloted by a specially-selected group of teenagers (only one of which with attitude). Let's watch as they get in position."

The minute he said that while looking back through the binoculars, three lift chutes opened in the streets of Tokyo-3, revealing the aforementioned Evangelions. The trio was made up of the blue, one-eyed Unit-00 piloted by the stoic, red-eyed, blue-haired girl named Rei Ayanami; the two-eyed, one-horned, fighting purple people-pleaser Unit-01, piloted by the timid, brown-haired, cobalt-eyed boy Shinji Ikari; and the four-eyed red menace Unit-02, piloted by hot-headed, redheaded, blue-eyed girl named Asuka Langley Sohryu.

The three giant mechs, once plugged into their power cables, exited their lifts and headed towards the weapons lockers closest to their respective positions, as directed by their immediate commanding officer, Major Misato Katsuragi, who dished out her orders and battle tactics from the bridge of Central Dogma, located in the underground headquarters of NERV known as the Geofront. Handling matters on the support side of things were NERV's chief scientist Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, and carrying out the support functions were members of the bridge crew of computer technicians, such as Lts. Makoto Hyuga, Maya Ibuki, and Shigeru Aoba. Observing all this from their particular perch were the heads of the entire globe-spanning organization: Supreme Commander Gendo Ikari (cold and distant father of Shinji) and Vice-Commander Kozo Fuyutsuki (Gendo's former college professor).

All eyes on the bridge observed on the main monitor as the Evangelions each picked up their weapons and got into position behind a dummy skyscraper, having been instructed to observe as their target made its way towards Tokyo-3. Eventually, said target appeared in their sights: the Angel in question looked like an exact double of Sachiel, the very first Angel Shinji had fought when he had first come to Tokyo-3. The only difference was the entirety of the creature was colored in obnoxious neon green, hot pink, and highlighter orange; the one trait shared with its predecessors was the ruby-red core in the middle of its chest, just like Sachiel.

"All right, guys," Misato said over the comms. "Like the old saying goes, don't fire till you see the whites of its eyes."

On hearing that, Shinji grew confused. "Um...Its eyes are completely black."

"Just a technicality," Misato stated. "Basically, wait until I give the word before you three turn Sachiel-lite into Swiss cheese."

"Roger," the pilots all replied. The wait was tense as the Angel lumbered ever-closer to the edge of the city. Then, just as the creature was taking another great step forward, crossing over into the city streets proper...

Garfield [voiceover]: "All right, cue the clown."

Suddenly, popping out of the window of a dummy building near the creature was the colorfully-crazy personage that was Binky the Clown, a big, eager grin on his face.

Binky the Clown [at the top of his lungs through a megaphone]: "HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY MONSTER!"

On hearing this, the badly-startled Angel yelped, jumped up a la Charlie Brown and fell on its back, leaving quite an imprint in the pavement; the creature saw stars and tweeting birds dance around its face, its eyes having gone spiral-shaped like in many a 'typical' anime series. The Evangelion pilots, as well as the crew and command staff watching from the bridge, were stunned and speechless, their mouths agape at the frankly bizarre thing they just bore witness to.

Binky the Clown [still speaking through the megaphone]: "You sure you're in the right place? I thought these were Godzilla's stomping grounds!" [Binky then proceeded to honk a clown horn through the megaphone, further stunning the Angel, before he ducked back into the building and closed the window.]

Garfield, observing from his spot on the hill through the binoculars, was a tiny bit surprised at the turn this Angel attack had taken.

Garfield: "Huh. Who knew he was good for something after all?"

Misato, sensing an opportunity, issued new orders to the pilot. "Shinji, I want you to get the progressive hammer and a prog-spike from the weapons locker and make your way to the Angel. Once there, you'll use the hammer to carefully tap the spike into the core. Asuka, Rei, you two will keep your weapons trained on the Angel just in case it tries anything funny."

"Roger," all three pilots once again affirmed. Unit-01 soon reached the locker and traded in its pallet rifle for the hammer and spike Misato had described, and carefully tiptoed its way to the collapsed Angel; Unit-00 and Unit-02, still holding their own weapons, followed suit and tiptoed on each side of Unit-01. Unit-01 crouched down and held the tip of the spike over the center of the core. Unit-00 and Unit-02 kept their weapons trained on the Angel, never moving from their spots.

Before Shinji did anything else, Ritsuko spoke into the comms. "Remember Shinji, carefully tap the spike into the core-any sudden thrusts will result in the usual type of explosion that comes with an Angel's destruction."

"R-roger that," Shinji nervously affirmed. "(No pressure.)" He swallowed and then began to gently tap the hammer onto the spike's head, carefully driving it bit-by-bit into the core after the point had penetrated its surface.

Suddenly, without warning, Binky the Clown popped up between a surprised Misato and Ritsuko, and grabbed the mic on the console.

Binky the Clown: "HEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY KID!"

"GAH!" a badly-startled Shinji blurted out, the knee-jerk reaction causing him to swing the hammer down fast and fully pound the spike into the core. Once again, anyone not Binky the Clown was stunned speechless (even Rei, who normally gave off little-to-no emotion), while Binky himself made a quick getaway before anyone could do anything else. Then, all eyes noticed the core begin to grow brightly, which meant only one thing.

Asuka, her expression shifting from bewilderment to frustration, looked in our direction and said only five words that dripped with venom: "I really, REALLY hate clowns."

*KABOOOOOOOOM!*

A cross-shaped explosion lit up the city streets and sent all three Evangelions flying, the trio eventually landing a few yards from the imprint of what used to be the Angel. Once the explosion subsided, the Evangelions slowly got up and looked at the mess made by the destruction of the Angel. They then looked down to where Binky the Clown was standing at the edge of the creature's imprint. Binky gave the Evangelions a side-eye glance.

Binky the Clown [chuckling obnoxiously]: "How'd you like that? The big guy really went out with a big bang! Get it?!"

Unfortunately for Binky, the pilots, as well as those on the bridge, if their un-amused glares indicated anything, weren't in a joking mood. Before Binky knew it, all three giant mechs pointed their weapons at him, fingers on the triggers.

"Commander," Rei tersely began to ask, "permission to eliminate new target?"

Gendo, his expression mirroring those of his subordinates, minced no words in response: "Permission granted."

The minute that order was given, Binky, a sheepish grin on his face, gave a little wave goodbye and immediately made a run for it as he dodged the Evangelions' fire left-and-right.

Binky the Clown: "Aw, c'mon, guys! Aren't I kinda beneath you in terms of threat level?!"

The pilots paid him no heed as they continued to chase after him as they exited the city limits.

Back on his hillside observation spot, Garfield watched all this, a hint of amusement in his demeanor.

Garfield: "Whoops-looks like I spoke too soon." [He then turned to face us.] "We'll be right back...possibly without Binky making much of an impact."

THE END.

**Author's Note(s)**

Chalk this up to another case of 'randomly perusing through YouTube, where inspiration struck'. Hence, a little 'quickie' one-shot in my Super-Wackos of EVA series, crossing Evangelion over with the least likely of pop culture icons-specifically, a certain recurring segment from the much beloved animated TV series Garfield and Friends (1988-94). And don't you worry, I'll be resuming Shado Wa Shitte Imasu after fully-settling into my new job. Till then, enjoy the laughs!