Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

A young couple, Denki and Kyoka, just married, are in the honeymoon suite on their wedding night in Hawaii. Of course, the couple chose such a cliche place for Japanese tourists but who was to complain about free suites? As they were undressing for bed, Denki grabbed his pants and tossed it to Kyoka.

"Here, dear. Put these on," said Denki.

Kyoka put on her husband's pants. The pants were loose and a lot of room for her to put both legs in one pants leg.

"Denki, I can't wear these pants," she told him.

Placing his hands on his hips approvingly, the smiling Denki said, "That's right. And don't you forget that, too. For I am the one who wears the pants in this family!"

Kyoka didn't respond negatively. She bent over and pulled off her shirt, exposing her C-cup breasts. Denki grew hungry as he couldn't wait to have those greedy fingertips on those puppies. As he got closer, Kyoka put her finger to her lip, citing that she wasn't finished.

Kyoka did a little dance, rocking her hips as she took off her panties. Swinging it with her finger, she delightfully told him, "Put these on, sweetie!"

Confused, yet horny and kinky, Denki followed suit of his wife's request. He struggled as he tried to place his legs around them, only getting them to his kneecap.

"Kyoka, baby, I can't fit these panties," he informed her.

Placing her hands on her hips approvingly, the smiling Kyoka said, "That's right! And that is the way it's gonna be until your attitude changes."

Short Story #2

The gullible yet happy-go-lucky Pony was walking in town one day when she saw Neito standing in the middle of the street.

"41, 41, 41," said the teen repetitiously.

Pony watched out of curiosity until Neito spotted her.

"Oi! Hello, my dear American, blonde friend," said Neito as he waved to her to come to his direction.

Standing beside Neito, Pony asked, "What are doing?"

"Nothing much! Just shouting numbers," he said. "Wanna join?"

Having no plans, Pony decided to join her classmate.

"41, 41, 41," said the duo.

"This is kinda fun," said Pony excitedly.

"That's right, isn't it," said Neito.

"41, 41, 41," shouted Pony.

Neito excused himself to get a drink of water. Pony excitedly continued saying the number with all of her until she opened her eyes after hearing a noise.

CRASH!

Neito returned to see the unconscious Pony lying on the street. It was obvious that she was hit by a car. Neito smiled at the poor, gullible teen as she didn't realized that she was standing on a national highway.

Neito shrugged his shoulders, returning to the street. "42, 42, 42!"

Short Story #3 (Warning: this joke is a bit risque and no intent to offend)

Professor David Shield is sent to the Southern Islands to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math, science, and fundamentals that can lead them playing basketball, football, or a future president. One day, the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.

Members of the tribe were shocked of this occurrence and knew that there was only one person responsible.

The chief pulled Professor Shield aside one evening to discuss the matter.

"Look here, David! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child." Angered at the professor, he still managed trying to keep his composure. "It doesn't take a genius to know who is responsible for this?!"

Professor Shield knew he was in hot water. He tried not to put the blame on the chief's wife as it was her that wanted to 'pour more in the pudding' that evening when she exposed him to hot baths near the caves. Being resourceful, more so prayerful, he thought quickly of a solution.

He snapped his fingers. "Actually, chief, there has been some kind of mistake!"

"Mistake," interjected the chief. "Can you explain why my lovely, dark wife has a white baby?"

"Simple! What you have seen is what we called in the world a natural occurence."

"A natural occurence?!"

"Yes," said Professor Shield. "In the western culture, we call your child an albino baby. It means that although the child is genotypically dark, the phenotype is white." He spotted a flock of sheep. He thank God for visual aid. "Look at those sheep in the field. All of them are white except tfor the black one. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief scratched the back of his head, still perplexed. He was silent before putting his hand on the professor's shoulder. "Tell you what. You don't say anything about the sheep and I won't say anything more about the baby."

Short Story #4

Eighteen-year-old Kota Izumi recently purchased a secondhand Vespa from a childhood friend. It was almost in mint condition. Before riding off to see his girlfriend, Eri, he asked his friend on how he managed to keep the Vespa in such a good shape.

"Well," said his friend. "It's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the Vespa is outside and if it rains, then rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." His friend tossed a bottle of Vaseline. Thanking his friend and placing it in his pocket, Kota departed for his girlfriend's house.

Later that evening, he arrived to Eri's home for dinner. This is the first time in quite some time to visit the residence of Shouta and Emi Aizawa. He smiled when seeing his cheerful girlfriend rushed out of the doorstep to give him a kiss.

"Baby," she cried.

"Sweetheart," he said as he returned her hug. He looked at the apartment. "Your old man hasn't changed, has he?"

"Still the same," she said as she pulled in off the boke. "Honey, there is something I have to tell you before entering." She clapped her hands. "Please, don't judge!"

"How could I judge my girl?"

"My Pops have a rule. The rule is at dinner, we are to be silent. If one were to speak, then one must do the dishes."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, dear. If one speaks at dinner, then you must do dishes."

"Thanks for the tip."

Upon entering the residence, Kota was astounded when seeing the display. Eri was true to her word when he saw dishes throughout the home. It was in the alcove, the living room, the stairs. Just dirty dishes.

Kota tried to not pay it any mind as he went to the dining room to eat with her family.

True to a tee, silence filled the room. Eri ate beside her man. Emi was eating quietly. Shouta was giving Eri's boyfriend ugly looks but nonetheless was silent.

As dinner progress, Kota decided to become a bit frisky and took advantage of the opportunity.

So, he leaned over and kissed his girlfriend.

No one said a word.

So, he decided to reach over and played with Eri's breasts. He stared at her parents.

Silence remained.

Taking it up a notch, he pulled Eri and placed her on top of the table. He tore her clothes until she was naked and decided to take advantage by having sex.

As they were making love, silence still filled the room.

Shocked and in disbelief, he decided to up the ante. He had always thought Eri's mother was cute. He decided to dig his hand inside of Emi's pants. Emi didn't budge.

Since the opportunity was available, he decided to have a threesome with the mother-and-daughter on the table.

Kota turned to see Shota. He remained quiet, continuing to eat his meal.

Suddenly, there were some raindrops that hit the window. Worried about the rain and his new Vespa, he decided to tend to the bike.

He let go of the girls and reached into his pocket to pull out the Vaseline.

Suddenly Shota stood up. "Miss me with that bullshit! All right, Jesus! I will wash the damn dishes!"

Short Story #5

A group of prostitutes were living together. The former members of the Wild, Wild Pussycats were going through hard times and conformed to prostitution to make ends meet. One evening, leader and head of the pack, Shino (Mandalay) came back to the rundown apartment looking very down.

"Bad night," asked Ryuko (Pixie-bob).

"Terrible," answered Shino. In her hand, she had shown the girls only $20. "$20! $20 for a blowjob."

"Don't feel bad, sis," said Tomoko (Ragdoll). "Today, I had only scored $5 for a tug job."

"Yeah," exclaimed Ryuko. "I'd only made $10 for a look-but-don't-touch!"

"All of you guys are lucky!"

The girls stood to see Yawara (Tiger) sitting in front of the fire. "All of you are lucky!"

"What makes you say that," asked Shino.

"I didn't get a thing. I was just glad to get something warm in my stomach!"

Short Story #6

Toya Todoroki woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. After using it and getting a drink of water, the teen returned back to bed. On his way, he passed by his parents' bedroom. However, he stopped as he saw the blankets were shuffling and moving swiftly.

Concerned, he called to his father, "Father, what are you doing?"

The parents stopped. Murmuring occurred between the couple. "Well, son. I am just playing a game of cards."

"Cool, Father. Who is your partner?"

"Your mother, dear," answered his father. "Now, run along. We still have a few strokes before it's done."

He obeyed his parents and headed straight to bed. However, he stopped as he saw his sister, Fuyumi's room opened. Like his parents, the blankets were shuffling and moving swiftly.

He called to his sister. "Hey, sis. What are you doing?"

"Playing cards, you dweeb," she answered.

"Okay," said Toya. "Who is your partner?"

"Shouto and Momo. Now get out of here."

A little while later, his father Enji got up and prepared to head to work early. As he prepared to go to the bathroom, he passed by his son's room. He stopped as he saw the blankets were shuffling and moving swiftly.

He called to his son. "Hey, son. What are you doing?"

"Playing cards, father."

"All right? Really? So, who is your partner?"

Toya answered. "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand!"

His father didn't say anything else. He closed the door and left for the restroom.

Short Story #7

It was the decision of Yuga Aoyama that was God's greatest gift when it comes to good looks. One day, he announces to the principal of UA High that he must search for the most gorgeous and perfect classmate to marry and to have his children. Principal Nezu didn't object and told him that he will have three girls ready for him the next day.

"Sure," said Principal Nezu. "Give me a day or so. Once I find the right girls, feel free to select the one you want!"

The next day, Nezu managed to find the four most gorgeous and perfect girls who willingly interested in taking Yuga.

Yuga dated the first candidate, Ochako. The next day, Principal Nezu asked for Yuga's opinion.

"Well," said Yuga. "She was cute. But, she was just a wee bit, not that you can hardly notice, but pigeon-toed and somewhat Hinata-esque.

Nezu understood and decided to let the second girl have a shot with Yuga. Yuga later dated the second candidate, Toru. The next day, Principal Nezu asked for Yuga's opinion.

"Well," said Yuga. "She was beautiful. But, she was just a wee bit, not that you can hardly notice, not all the way there in the head and quite distant.

Nezu understood and decided to let the third girl have a shot with Yuga. Yuga later dated the third candidate, Kyoka. The next day, Principal Nezu asked for Yuga's opinion.

"Well," said Yuga. "She was cute. But, she was a just a wee bit, not that you can hardly notice, asymmetrical in the eyes."

Nezu understood and decided to let the fourth and final girl have a shot with Yuga. Yuga later dated the forth candidate, Camie. The next day, Yuga rushed in the office. He exclaimed, "She is perfect! Just perfect! She is the one and I want to be with her!"

Despite being teenagers, Camie and Yuga wedded. A few months later, the baby was born. When Yuga visited the nursery, he was horrified. The baby was beautiful but the baby didn't look anything like Yuga. The baby girl had green hair, green eyes, and freckles.

He rushed back to Principal Nezu asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.

"Well," said Principal Nezu, "She was just a wee bit, not that you could hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."

Short Story #8

At a medical convention, two doctors Minoru Mineta and Mina Ashido started eyeing each other. Dr. Mineta invited Dr. Ashido to dinner in which she delightfully accepts. As they sat down at the table at the restaurant, she excused herself to go and wash her hands.

After dinner, things led to another and they ended up in her hotel bedroom. Just as the passion ignites, she excused herself to go wash her hands.

When she returned, they engaged into some kinky sex.

When they were finished, she went to go wash her hands once more. As she was washing, Dr. Mineta said aloud, "I bet you are a surgeon."

She confirmed. "How did you know?"

"Easy! You're always washing your hands."

Dr. Ashido then said, "I bet you're an anasthesiologist."

"Wow! How did you get guess," asked Dr. Mineta.

"I didn't feel a thing!"

Short Story #9

Katsuki was spending the weekend working on rebuilding the shed from the previous All For One attack. He wasn't alone as fellow classmate Eijiro was assisting him. As he was working on the shed's roof, he shouted to Eijiro on the ground. Being that it was a windy day, Eijiro couldn't hear Katsuki very well. So, Katsuki decided to use signals.

Katsuki pointed to his eye, meaning "I." He then pointed to his knees, meaning "knee." He then moved his hand back and forth, meaning "handsaw."

Eijirou gave him the OK sign. Suddenly, Katsuki witnessed Eijiro pulling down his pants and began to masturbate. He frantically jumped from the roof and ran to the occupied Eijiro.

Katsuki yelled, "You baka! What the hell! I wasn't implying anything like that. I just wanted a handsaw."

Eijirou stopped, giving him the OK sign. "I know that, dude. I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

Short Story #10 (Shout out to Stephen on Funny Jokes blog with permission to use this)

One night, eight-year-old Izuku walked in on his parents having sex. Inko was going up and down on Hisashi and when she sees her son looking at them she immediately stopped.

"What are you doing, Mommy?" Inko was too embarrassed to tell her little boy about sex so she made up an answer.

"Well, sweetie, sometimes Daddy's tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out."

Izuku replied, "Well, Mommy you really shouldn't bother with that."

Inko had a confused look on her face, "Why do you say that sweetheart?"

Izuku replied, "Because Mommy, every time you leave in the morning, Auntie Nemuri comes over and blows it back up."

To be continued….

For my "Izuku's Mothers" fans and readers, the "Emerald Hill" short story is now a full-fledged story on there. Check it out!