Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

Ibara Shiozaki is conducting a survey on a group of men for her Sexual Psychology class, on the topic of happiness. Although it goes against her morals as a Christian, especially with her beliefs in waiting until marriage, she still conducts the survey in order to pass University.

She tells the group, "I can prove to you sinners...I mean to you all that the amount of happiness has a relation to the amount of sex you have." Jesus, this is beneath me and such a sin. But, a credit is a credit.

She glances at her audience and sees a man in the right-hand corner, smiling.

"You, sir!"

"It is Iida! Tenya Iida."

Whatever! "Iida, how often do you have sex?"

"Once a month!"

Looking for another happy face, she spots a man in the middle, with a bigger smile.

She points to him. "You, sir!"

"Kirishima! Eijiro is the first name!"

Imbecile! "How often do you have sex?"

"Once a week!" He beats his chest. "Ashido treats me well."

You and the entire Sexual Psychology class as well. That whore! "Thank you!" As she tries to prove (disclaim) her theory further, she sees another man laughing.

"You seem to be a very happy young man. Your name again, sir?!"

"Todoroki Shouta!"

Icy Hot, that's right! "How often you fornica...have sex?"

"Well...every day," he answers happily.

That explains Yaoyorozu needing a cushion during Study Hour. Tae-bo, my rear end. Harlot! "There," she says to the class as she clenches her teeth. "The amount of pre-marital...I mean the amount of happiness is in relation to the amount of sex you have."

At the far off end of the room, she sees a man with his hands in the air, laughing and jumping with so much happiness. "You see like a very desper...I mean happy man. What is your name, sir?"

"Minoru Mineta! Mineta is the name, M'Lady."

The guy that smells like fermented rubberbands. "So, Mineta. How often do you have sex?"

"Once a year," he shouts happily. It gets to the point that he is slamming his head down repeatedly on the desk.

Ibara, puzzled, bewildered, and now curious, she asks Mineta, "What? Then why are you so happy?"

Mineta starts laughing, jumping, and pulling out his hair. "It's tonight! It's tonight! It might be sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, and eighths, but it's tonight!"

Short Story #2

Whenever Enji Todoroki isn't Pro Hero #2, he is a high-court judge for Musutafu's High Circuit Court. He is at a bar in a high-class hotel where he is a regular visitor. He drinks until it is near twilight. On leaving the bar, he vomits all over his suit. He then staggers to his parked car where he accidentally keys the door. He manages to start the car and goes into oncoming traffic. Unfortunately, no serious accidents, just the occasional "fuck you's," "learn how to drive," and "who gave you a license, Stevie Wonder?"

He arrives at his mansion, hitting his next-door neighbor's dog's tail before crashing his car into a bush. He falls out of the car and staggers to the door. As he hums to "Whistle While You Twerk," he sees his wife, Rei. On seeing his state, she asks what happened. Despite his inebriated condition, the Pro Hero #2/judge thinks quickly.

"I had one or two tall drinks. Hurricane's," he says as he leans on the door. "I was at the Hotel Essex and when I left, some bloody drunken bastard vomited all over me."

"Oh, dear," says Rei.

"Damn right," he says. "Fortunately, the Jakes, I mean the police caught him and he is up to face me first thing in the bloody morning. I will give that Ozpin-looking bastard six months in the clink."

Rei then sends him to the shower and then bed, while she makes him a small dinner and a hot tea. Having put his soiled clothes in the wash, she returns to the bedroom with his food.

"How long did you say you would give the drunken man in jail," she asks.

"Six months," replies Enji.

"Well, you better make it a year because he shat in your boxers as well," says Rei.

Short Story #3

Tenya goes to the University Pub where he encounters a sign hanging over the bar. It reads:

Donburi: 250 yen (about $3.00)

Katsudon: 550 yen (about $6.00)

Handjob: 1200 yen (about $13.00)

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive black-haired girls in maid outfits serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes," she asks with an alluring smile. "Can I help you, nyaa?!"

"I was wondering," whispers Tenya, "Are you the one who gives the... hand jobs?"

She claps her hands. "Nyaa! Of course, I am!"

Tenya replies, "Well, go wash your hands, I want a donburi please!"

Short Story #4

Mitsuki Bakugo comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.

"You damn bloody bastard," she screams furiously.

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

"Make you think twice for cheating on me!" She spits at the cover.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband Masaru there, reading a magazine.

"Darling," asks Mitsuki surprisingly.

He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

Short Story #5

Shouta Aizawa is having an affair with his co-worker/colleague Nemuri Kayama. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around eight in the evening.

Preparing to head home, he looks to his clothes. "Nemuri, go outside and rub my shoes in some dirt."

"Your shoes."

"Yeah!"

Shrugging her shoulders, she complies.

Afterward, he slipped into his shoes and drove home. He is nervous but hopes to God that he will be okay.

It is nearly ten in the evening when he arrives home.

"Shouta Aizawa! Where have you been?" demanded his wife, Emi, when he entered the house. "You had me and Eri worried sick. You better tell me the truth and the entire truth."

"Darling," replied Shouta, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with Nemuri Kayama. You know, the one that spends too much time shopping at Victoria's Secret and Adam and Eve? Yeah, her! I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." He bows to her. "Have mercy on me!"

She hits him with a frying pan."You liar! You must think I am an idiot?"

"No, darling!"

She looks at his shoes. "I knew it, you liar!"

"Spare me!"

"You were playing golf!"

Short Story #6

Hisashi Midoriya is having an affair with Izuku's friend, Melissa Shield. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned eighteen.

"I will do it, darling. For you," she tells Hisashi. "How can I let you know when the child is born."

After moments of quick thinking, he answers, "Write me on a postcard. The code name will be Spaghetti."

"Spaghetti?"

"Yes, Melissa. Just write spaghetti and I will arrange child support."

"Okay, darling. For you, I will do it."

One day, about 9 months later, he comes home to his confused wife, Inko.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today."

Postcard?

"Oh! I think from one of my business associates." He takes the card.

"Quite strange, isn't it," questions Inko.

"Never you worry, honey. I will explain later," he tells Inko when he enters his private quarters.

The moment he opens the card, his face turns pale and white. Within the card lies a message.

"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

Short Story #7

Chiyo (Recovery Girl) and her husband were spending the night with their children. When Chiyo's husband found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

Mr. Shuuzenji's son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Chiyo's husband.

"$10.00 a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Chiyo's husband, "I'd still like to try one."

"Dad, is that wise?"

"Son, it has been ten years. And I want to see what that mouth do."

"Too much information, Dad. But okay." He hands his father the pill.

"If it works, before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, Mr. Shuuzenji's son found $110 under the pillow.

He phoned his father and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110."

"I know," said Chiyo's husband. "The hundred is from your mother!"

Short Story #8

One day, Mitsuki picks up her son from school. She asks, "Kacchan, how was school today?"

He smiles. "I've had sex with Sensei!"

She nearly loses control of the wheel when hearing that. She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room.

Later that evening, Masaru returns home when Mitsuki gives him the news.

With her arm crossed, she tells him. "Our lovely boy in there slept with Sensei. I think you need to talk to him."

When his father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. "I will talk to Kacchan."

Masaru walks into Katsuki's room when he sees Katsuki lying on his stomach.

"Dear, your mother tells me that you slept with Sensei."

"Yes, sir," he pouts.

"No, I am proud of you. That's great!"

"Really?"

"Sure, honey! Starting early and quickly just like your old man." About time that Kayama-sensei makes a move. I know there are rumors about her and Izuku. But don't blue-ball my son, Nemuri!

He pats his son's back. "As a reward, I am going to buy you a bike."

On the way to the store, Masaru asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home.

"I'm good, Dad," says Katsuki. "My butt still hurts!"

Short Story #9

Denki has been having problems lately with his girlfriend, Kyoka. One day, he learns after spying on Kyoka that she has been faking her orgasms. Depressed, he goes and consults to Katsuki for advice.

"Dude, it is a simple method," says Katsuki. "All you have to do is act."

"Act," asks Denki confusedly.

"Yeah. Pretend that you are someone else. Imagine her to be someone sexy, hot, and drop dead gorgeous," says Katsuki.

"Pretend that she is someone else?"

"Sure. You or her, doesn't matter." Katsuki slaps Denki's back. "Call me in a couple of days and tell me how it works."

A few days passed. The next time Denki and Katsuki meet is at an arcade.

"Bakugo! Good news!"

Katsuki waves his hand from Denki's breath. "Whatever it is, I know it isn't a new brand of toothpaste."

"Screw you! Anyway, what you said worked!"

Denki tells him that he pretended that Kyoka was a member of the Wild, Wild Pussycats. He informs Katsuki that not only did Kyoka climaxed but she came over three times.

"And I have the sheets to prove it," says Denki pridefully.

Before Katsuki responds, he sees Eijiro approaching him.

"Denki! Katsuki! 'Sup," asks Eijiro.

"Yo!" Denki says before witnessing Katsuki and Eijiro kissing each other. Katsuki tells Eijiro that he is almost finished before leaving them alone.

Bewildered and surprised, Denki says, "Are you and Eijiro…"

"Yes, but don't tell Momo. Okay?"

"I thought you and Momo are an item?"

"We are. She is a rich accessory."

"I am confused."

Katsuki snickers as he crosses his legs. "In a way, I can understand Kyoka. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship."

Short Story #10

Pixie-bob was having issues with her husband, Hawks. She was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which he answered, "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!"

Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again, "Honey, can you fix the faucet?"

Hawks replied, "What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!"

Two days later, a light bulb went out and she begged him again, "Honey, can you change the light bulb?"

His reply was, "What am I? An electrician?!"

A few days later, Hawks comes home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, he says, "Honey, what happened here?"

Pixie-bob replies, "You know our new next-door neighbor?"

"Neighbor kid, Izuku Midoriya!"

"Yeah, that's the one! He came over and fixed everything."

Hawks says, "Honey, how did you pay him?!"

"Oh, you know," Pixie-bob says, "he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him."

Somewhat relieved Hawks asks, "Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?"

Pixie-bob replies, "Who do you think I am? Betty Crocker?!"

Short Story #11

It is at the hospital where Enji lays dying. Rei is sitting at his bedside, holding his hand and in a whisper, he says to her, "Rei, darling. There is something I need to say before I go."

"What is it, honey?"

"I've got a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Shino. And it was I who forced your boy toy, Izuku to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government."

"Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart."

He coughs heavily. "Really?"

"Yes, darling. Who do you think gave you the poison?"

Short Story #12

Emi is in the kitchen preparing dinner when her daughter, Eri returns home to school with a question.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Emi thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex."

Eri looks confused as her mother continues.

"You see that the Daddy sticks his plug into her outlet. That is how a connection is made."

"What?"

"That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey." She leans back to the counter. "And often Mommy takes control of Daddy's penis."

"Mommy?"

"I am sorry. I am saying that when Mommy and Daddy get together, they have a baby."

Eri seems to comprehend. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had Daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

"Jewelry, my dear Eri. Jewelry."

Short Story #13 (Caution: my girlfriend told me this joke and this is terribly, terribly wrong).

Yuga Aoyama returns back to his dorm room with a heavy slap to the face. Curious, Minoru asks Yuga a question.

"Dude, what happened?"

"There was a foreigner from China that I was trying to get her number."

"Yeah. Did you?"

"She said that it was Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

"Wow! Did you get lucky?"

"I try making a move but she slapped me." He scoffs. "It was her friend that later told me that she was actually saying 666-3629."

To be continued….