Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

The Management would like to apologize in regards to a recent joke on our last chapter. We never plan to offend anyone of any caliber. The intention is to be joyous and jokingly as humorous as possible. Once again, the Management sincerely apologizes.

Episode #11: "Two Drink Minimum, Please!"

Short Story #1

One afternoon, Emi was preparing lunch when her teenage daughter, Eri ran happily into the home.

"Mama, mama? Guess what I got?"

"A lobotomy?" She slapped her thighs. "I am kidding, sweetie! What do you have?"

Eri reached into her skirt pocket and extended her hand to show her mother $20.

"How did you get that," speculated her mother. She knew that receiving her allowance wasn't for another week. She grew concerned.

"Well, Kota and his friends bet if I could climb the tree at the park, they would give me $20."

Emi wished her daughter wasn't as gullible as she lets herself be. "Oh, honey! They were probably making a bet so they can see your panties."

Eri wagged her finger. "I'd thought the same thing too, Mom! So, I came up with another plan."

"And what was that, dear?!"

"You see, mother, I was smart! I took my panties off! Great idea, huh?"

Short Story #2

University professor Nemuri Kayama approached her student assistant, Izuku Midoriya, with a request.

"Midoriya, I want to have sex with you, but I will make it really quickly! I will throw over a thousand dollars on the floor and by the time you pick it up, I will be finished."

Izuku pondered on his boss' request. A thousand dollars sounded lucrative. All of the honey buns, iced teas, and katsudons he could get. Izuku saw it as a good proposition but informed her that he needed to consult with his girlfriend, Ochako Uraraka about it.

Later that evening, Izuku and Ochako were lying in bed when discussing Kayama-sensei's proposition.

"Although I am against the idea, Izuku baby, but a thousand dollars sounds lucrative." Ochako began pondering on the idea. "Say! Tell Kayama-sensei to make it $2000 and we got a deal!"

"Are you sure, baby?"

"Yeah! C'mon, Izuku! $2000! Just be really quick and fast with it. With your supple ass, it will be too blinding for the old bat to even pull down a pantyhose."

"Alright, baby!"

The next day, Ochako was sitting outside of the university library when she received a phone call from Izuku.

"Hey, baby! Did you get the money?"

"We got a problem!"

"What problem!"

"Kayama-sensei has it in coins," said Izuku while straining to keep his composure on the phone in the midst of moans. "So, I am still picking it up and she is still having sex with me."

"C'mon, Midoriya baby! Work for your money! Work for it! Give it to me! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Short Story #3

One day, Shouto learned that she was growing hair between her legs. She decided to inform this to her mother, Rei. Rei began laughing upon hearing the news.

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart! That part where your hair is growing is called your monkey!"

"My monkey?"

"That's right! If hair is growing from your monkey, be proud!"

Later that evening, Shouto was sitting in the dining room with her family. She was feeling proud of the hairs growing from her monkey.

As they were eating, she whispered to her older sister, Fuyumi. "Hey, Fuyu-chan! Guess what? My monkey has grown hair."

Fuyumi raised her eyebrows, appeared unconcerned about her sister's announcement. "That's it?! Shoot! My monkey is already eating bananas!"

Short Story #4

Enji Todoroki returned home from the doctor to tell his wife startling news.

"Sweetheart, Dr. Shuzenji informed me that I have the consumption."

His wife, Rei, nearly dropped her tea pitcher when hearing the news. "Oh, God!"

"Yes, dear!" He went on his knees, crawling to his wife and lying on her lap. "Dr. Shuzenji told me that I have 24 hours to live.

Given this prognosis, Enji asked his wife for sex. Naturally, she agreed and decided that they will make love.

About six hours later, Enji was lying and bed, cradling his wife. Feeling refreshed, he asked Rei, "Sweetheart, you know I now have only eighteen hours to live. Could we make love one more time?"

Rei didn't object. Of course, she wished that her reformed, yet stubborn husband consider the option of their children. However, it was quite a while since they had hot, passionate sex. So, they do it again.

Another few hours passed. Enji lied on the bed satisfied after another hot, passionate session. Reaching for a cigarette, he saw his cell phone. He realized that he now has only eight hours later.

Rei was drinking a bottle of water when the tearful husband grabbed Rei's supple breasts. "Sweetheart, another please?"

"Enji, what about the kids?"

"We can't involve the kids!" He put his finger to his lips. "I mean if you think my final moments with them by doing an orgy can be a pining experience."

Rei put her hand under her chin while resting her elbow on her other hand.

[Cue Spongebob pedal steel guitar]

"No! Any final moments you want to make to our kids?"

Enji was in a praying position. "Please, Rei! One more time, please! The kids will have lots of money. Fuyumi can have the Mercedes. Natsuo, the boat. Toya, the keys to my condo in Lagos."

"A condo in Lagos," questioned Rei surprisingly.

"Shouto! I promise that Shouto will read the secret journals of my affections and the ill mistakes. Money, lots of money! And to you, Rei, precious rubies and diamonds in my safe off the coast of the Ivory Coast." He cupped her breast again. "Please, honey, one more time!"

Seeing his piteous look honestly was turning on the wife. Never in their twenty-something years of marriage did he look like that. Snot dripping out of his nose. His eyes were a stream of tears. Felt good to be pummeled for all the right reasons.

Rei grabbed the lube, Like A Virgin, and released a haughty smile. "Let's make this last time the kinkiest of your life."

The hot, passionate, fiery, grabbing-gravel-with-their-knees sex was the best they have had since...ever. The bedpost was broken. Walls were cracked. The foundation was crooked. And Enji even shot holes through the roof.

Rei was spent. Satisfied while smoking rapier-laced marijuana. Enji was covered up, still feeling blissful from his previous session.

As he was looking for his cell phone, he saw that he only had four hours left.

"Oh, God," cried Enji. Rei was searching through his wallet for the key codes to that particular condo in Lagos when hearing his cries. "FOUR HOURS! I have four hours left." Turning to Rei. "Baby, I was wondering…."

Rei grabbed a magazine and her lubricant before tossing it on the bed.

"Jesus, Enji! I love you and all, but damn. I am tired and I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"

Short Story #5

Nemuri and Emi were having lunch together, discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

Nemuri said, "I am going to be honest with you, Emi. I think of having a boob job."

"Really," said Emi.

"Yeah! There is a certain cinnamon roll that needs some milk with his snack," said Nemuri.

"Awkward and Rule 34ish," said Emi. "Well, since we are going, to be honest, Nemuri. I am thinking of having my asshole bleached."

Her response released slight laughter from the blue-haired woman.

"What," questioned Emi.

"It was funny! I just can't picture your husband as a blonde."

Short Story #6

Two bored casino dealers, Neito Monoma and Minoru Mineta, were waiting at a craps table. Suddenly, they encountered a former classmate, Pony Tsunotori approaching their table.

"Gentlemen," she winked at her former classmates. "Long time no see!"

The blonde placed $20,000 on the table.

"$20,000, boys," exclaimed the blonde.

"On a single game," asked Neito.

"Yep! Yep," exclaimed Pony. "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I am nude."

Minoru pushed Neito out of the way when hearing that announcement. "Sure, Babydoll. What your dumba...I mean heart desires."

With that, she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes." Then, a few moments later, she yelled, "I won! I won! Holy Weiss, yes!"

She jumped and hugged each of the dealers, even pecking Minoru on the cheek. With that, she picked up her additional winnings and her clothes and quickly departed."

Minoru and Neito stared at each other dumbfoundedly. After a few moments, Neito asked, "what did she roll?"

Minoru answered, "I thought you were watching!"

Meanwhile, Pony was walking down the escalator to the parking lot with her winnings. "Dumbasses!"

Moral of the story - not ALL blondes are dumb!

Short Story #7

Eri was walking into the kitchen as her mother, Emi, was preparing for dinner. While her father, Shouta, was sleeping on the couch, she decided to take in her heart to ask her mother the ultimate question.

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

Emi paused in her tracks. She remained calm. By this time, a six-year-old will become curious about the question. After wiping her knife on her apron and thinking for a few seconds, she said, "well, princess. After Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married, they go inside the bedroom where they kiss and hug...a lot."

"Like when I hug and kiss Kota on the cheek at the Valentine's Day Dance?"

"No, sweetheart. That was a friendly kiss." Emi looked to the ceiling, asking God for forgiveness. "You, see, Eri. The kissing and hugging to make babies will require lots and lots of work." She sighed heavily. "Do you know about your special spot." She pointed at her crotch. "The place where you pee?"

"Umm, umm!"

"Well, the same place where your daddy and Kota pees, it will go inside where you go potty."

"Really, Mommy!"

Emi nodded approvingly. "That's right, sweetheart," she said while giving a thumbs up. "A boy's pee-pee goes inside a girl's tee-tee and nine months later, a baby pops out."

Eri stared blankly at her mother. "And that is how a baby is born?"

"Yes, dear. That is about it." She slapped her hips. "Of course, it gets more technical when you get older." She winked. "So, protect your no-no zone until you are old enough to buy cigarettes."

"Cigarettes?"

Thank God she is still a kid.

As Emi resumed to cook, Eri wanted to ask another question. "Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetness!"

"So, the other day when I accidentally walked in on you putting your mouth on Daddy's pee-pee, what were you trying to do?"

Emi developed a nervous smile. "Well, Eri. Daddy was being an awfully good boy on buying Mommy some jewelry."

BD: Hey, GOTA! Why does this look familiar?

GOTA: It was seen in episode #9. This version is more amended!

BD: Oh, carry on! Short Story #8

One weekend, Keigo (Hawks) was shaving in the restroom when the neighbor boy comes inside the bathroom. Keigo hired Izuku to mow his yard and assist his wife, Yuu (Mount Lady), with the garden.

As Izuku was peeing, Keigo couldn't help noticing how endowed Izuku was.

"Izuku, I couldn't help noticing how blessed you are," said Keigo.

Izuku blushed. "Golly, sir. Well, I can't help what God delivered." He looked away. "Just signed the package."

"And how," said Keigo. "Now, for a teenager, how are you able to have such girth?"

Izuku put his finger to his lips. "Well, admittedly this package wasn't an overnight thing. An older woman taught me the trick to get my penis to this current size."

Keigo could figure that an older woman dipped his paintbrush. It mattered not as he wanted to know the secret.

"Well, I've learned whenever I am putting a girl to bed, I whack my penis three times on the bedpost."

Keigo raised his eyebrow. "Really? Just like that!"

"It worked with that older woman," said Izuku. "Since then, my girth expanded and the girls love it."

Keigo nodded in agreement. "You know what, Izuku? I will look into that!"

Later that night, Keigo prepared to head to bed with his already sleeping wife. While she was lying in bed, Keigo walked into the dark room naked. In smiles, he approached the bed. He placed his penis on the bedpost and whacked on it three times."

That emitted a moan from the misses. "Hmm-hmm!" Yuu said while half-asleep. "Is that you, my darling Izuku?"

Short Story #9

Izuku was coming home from school when he saw that his pet sparrow was dead. Izuku dropped to his knees and mourned for his recently departed pet of five years.

Izuku's father walked outside to see his distressed son. He rushed to his comfort.

"Daddy! Our pet sparrow is dead his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs like that?"

Hisashi needed to be solution-oriented. Then, in came an idea. "Well, dear! That's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the sparrow straight up to heaven."

"Really, Daddy!"

"Sure, honey! Your sparrow are in the hands of our Lord."

"Okay, Daddy!"

A few days later after Hisashi returned home from a business trip, he was rushed by the embracing arms of his son. "Daddy, Daddy! We almost lost Mommy today!"

"What do you mean?" asked his father.

"Well Daddy, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mommy, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, 'Oh, God! Oh, God, I'm coming! I'm coming!' If it hadn't of been for Uncle Toshi holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!"

Hisashi looked at his son. "Say, honey! Are Uncle Toshi and your mother upstairs?"

"Yes, Daddy!" Izuku saw his father walking upstairs.

"Where are you going, Daddy?"

"Going to see Uncle Toshi about a sparrow."

Short Story #10

Tsuyu Asui was sitting next to the fireplace while knitting her little pajama set. She is pregnant and is expecting her fourth child. As she continued knitting, each of her children came to see their mother.

"Mommy," said the first child. "Are you excited about being a Mommy again, ribbit?!"

"Sure, honey," replied Tsuyu to her daughter. "Did you know I've named you based upon what touched me during my pregnancy?"

"Then why am I called Leaf," said her daughter.

"Well, because when I was pregnant, a leaf landed on my tummy."

The second child, a boy raised his hand. "Mommy? Why was I named Snow?"

"Well, sweetheart! When I was pregnant with you, a snowflake landed on my tummy."

The third child, a girl, raised her hand. Unlike her brother and sister, she needed special assistance. She looked unto her mother. Tsuyu smiled. "Take your time, sweetheart, ribbit! I can wait."

The third child began to speak. "wHy dID yOu cAll mE CiNDeRbLocK?"

To be continued….