Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Episode #12: The Deku Is A Lie!

Short Story #1

One day, Kota and Eri were playing in his room unsupervised. Eri was lying on the floor playing with her Barbie dolls. However, Kota was lying in bed playing with himself. Seeing the shifting of the covers, Eri became curious.

"Kota, what are you doing," asked Eri.

Panicking, the teen needed to be solution-oriented. "Oh! I was playing with my toy."

"Playing with your toy under the covers?"

"It is a special action figure. The type to treat with an extensive amount of care."

"Like a vase?"

"Yeah! Something like that."

Despite getting an understanding, it still wasn't enough for Eri. "Could I play with your toy?"

A bit worried, but also a bit excited, he raised the cover. "Sure, Eri! However, be careful!"

"Okay," she said happily.

Kota watched as Eri played with his 'toy.' She continued playing with it until he eventually fell asleep.

Sometime later, when Kota woke up, he realized that he wasn't in his bedroom, but instead in a hospital room. Sitting next to him was the worried Eri.

"Thank goodness you're awake," she said.

Becoming frantic, he asked, "What happened?"

Eri responded, "I was playing with your action figure and it squirted on me." She pouted her lip. "I got mad and bit it's head off."

Short Story #2

The Todoroki Family is having their usual evening dinner. As the family eats their meals, a young Shouto decides to ask his father a question. "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

Shouto's mother drops her fork, becoming concerned about her son's aberrant, yet inappropriate question. Enji puts down his fork and looks at his son. "Well, Shouto, there are three kinds of boobs - in her 20's, a woman's boobs are like watermelons. They are round and firm. As they age and enter their 30's and 40's, they become like pears, still nice but hanging a bit." He sighs. "When they enter their 50's, they become like onions."

"Onions," questions Shouto.

"Yes, Shouto. Like onions! When you see them, they will make you cry."

This irritates Rei until their daughter Fuyumi intervenes. "Mom, how many kinds of wieners are there?"

Wasn't expecting to have this kind of dirty talk at dinner, nevertheless, Rei obliges. "Well, sweetie, a man, like women, also goes through three phases. In their 20's, their wieners are like a giant oak tree, mighty and hard. In their 30's and 40's, it is like a birch tree, flexible but reliable." She shakes her head before clicking her tongue. "When a man enters 50, his wiener is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree," asks Fuyumi.

"Yes – the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration."

Short Story #3

One evening, Miruko and Hawks are preparing for bed when Hawks begins to rub Miruko's arm.

"Hey, baby! Want to pull a nasty fasty," asks Hawks.

Miruko shakes in her head in disapproval. "Sorry, honey! Have a gynecologist appointment in the morning. I need to stay fresh."

Feeling rejected, but understandable, Hawks turns over.

A few moments later, he taps Miruko's arm again. She turns over. "Yes, sweetheart?!"

"Do you have a dentist appointment or a proctologist appointment tomorrow, too?"

Short Story #4

One day, an out-of-breath ten-year-old Izuku runs to his father, who was tinkering in his workshop, and confronted him with the million-dollar question, "Dad, what is sex?"

He was surprised he would ask such a question at his age, but thought if he is old enough to ask, heis old enough to get a straight answer. He wouldn't shirk his responsibility.

Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to describe for him all the variations of human sexuality he could conjure, careful to impress upon him the joys and responsibilities of intercourse and procreation.

When finally Hisashi was done pontificating, Izuku stood frozen, as though nailed to the spot, and looked at him with his mouth open, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing he was overwhelmed, he asked what caused his sudden curiosity. His son shook off his reverie and replied, "Mom says dinner will be ready in a couple of secs."

Short Story #5

Inko is at her vacation condo having sex with Yagi. As she relishes in the pleasure of forbidden sex, she hears the rattling of an opened door.

Hisashi has returned.

"Shit," says Yagi.

"Don't panic! I have a plan," says Inko calmly.

A moment later, Hisashi enters the bedroom and finds Inko with Yagi.

"What in the hell is this," barks Hisashi. "Toshinori, of all people?"

"No," she interjects. "You may think it is Toshinori, but it's not." She snaps her fingers. "It's a robot. Yes! A sex robot!"

"A sex robot?!"

"Yes! Toshinori sent this to me as he plans to make replica machinery based on his image," she explains. "I just wanted to test it to see if it actually works. Or whenever you were unavailable on your business trips."

Hisashi is a bit on the fence. Nevertheless, he decides to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Alright, honey! I will believe you." He loosens his tie. "Since Daddy's home, let the Faunus find its hole."

She stretches her arms, feigning exhaustion. "Sorry, sweetheart. Worn out." She puts on her bathrobe, kisses him on the cheek, and walks to the door. "I'll put away your stuff and make you some tea. Then, I will make you a warm bath and we can relax tonight." She blows a kiss and leaves.

Hisashi turns around, seeing if Inko isn't in eyesight. He closes the door. "Damn it! I have been holding this nut in for two weeks." He looks at Yagi 'the robot.' "Well, a hole is a hole as long as it is warm."

Yagi starts talking in a metallic robotic way. "SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE… SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…DOES NOT COMPUTE...DOES NOT COMPUTE...STRANGER DANGER!"

Appalled, disappointed, and horny, Hisashi sighs at the robot. "Seems like All Might isn't as mighty as he appears. Might as well toss it out the window."

Yagi panics. The condo is at least 15 stories high.

Yagi sheds a tear. "SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY AGAIN…"

Short Story #6

Dabi takes a day off from being a villain and goes shopping. Perusing the pharmacy aisle at the local grocery store, he spots a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Later that night, he is having dinner with Toga when he tosses the condoms on the dining room table.

"Olympic Condoms," she says. "What makes them so special than our usual purchase?"

"I didn't steal them this time."

"Wow!"

"Yeah," says Dabi. "Plus, these condoms come in three colors - gold, silver, and bronze!"

"So, tonight when we fuck, what colors are you using," asks Toga.

"Gold," he responds proudly.

"I don't know," she says.

"What do you mean?"

"Why don't you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

Short Story #7

Camie and Katsuki are in the ambulance to the hospital as she is going into labor. She grips her boyfriend's hand tightly. "I hate you, Katsuki! I hate you!"

He bites his lip, overlooking the pain. It wasn't the first and the last time being hated.

"For the love of Esdeath, give me drugs! Cut it out, shit it out! Get this fucker out of here," she cries.

"Don't say those things about our son."

"It is you I am saying this to! It's your fault," she shouts. "You did this to me, you motherfucker!"

He casually replies, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'no, it'll be too painful!'."

Short Story #8

On a cool Louisiana evening, a recently transformed vampire, Minoru Mineta, enters the Bon Temps diner. Upon entering, he is met with discouraging looks.

He overlooks them as he approaches the bar.

"What can I get you," asks the waitress named Sookie.

"Well, Sucky. Can I get your finest True Blood and of course, your number, sweet thing!"

He is met with a slap to the face. "Sorry, poor reflexes. Unfortunately, we are fresh out."

He understands and departs. A couple of minutes later he returns.

Sookie frowns but doesn't mind giving him a second helping. "What can I get for you?"

"Just a cup of hot water, please," he answers.

Placing her hands on her hips, she is confused. "Why do you need a cup of hot water?"

He goes into his pocket and pulls out an unexpected item. "I found a used tampon and wanted to make tea."

Short Story #9

Mineta is a young priest-in-training. After many years of sexual hangups, debacles, and failures, he decides to become a man of the cloth. On a cold Saturday evening, he sees a nun on the side of the road. He stops and offers her a ride, in which she accepts.

He is amazed to find out that it is his old classmate, Ibara Shiozaki. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing the habit to open and reveal a leg.

Old habits die hard for Minoru.

He looks and nearly has an accident, and after changing gear lets his hand slide up her leg. She immediately says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10."

He is thankful, relieved of this reminder. He apologizes and removes his hand from her leg. However, the lecherous thoughts are looming.

When he changes gears again, temptation takes over and he slides his hand on her leg. Ibara immediately says, "Father, remember Luke 14:10."

About an hour later, he drops Ibara off at her covent. Upon returning back to the church, he rushes to his room and seeks his Bible. Luke 14:10: "But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests."

Short Story #10

One evening, Mina asks her mother if she could go out and eat hot dogs with Kyoka, Tsuyu, and Momo. Her mother politely accepts. However, it is just a ruse so she can go hang out with them and their boyfriends.

So the evening is spent with Mina and Eijiro having sex.

After a few hours, Mina returns home.

"Had fun," asks Mina's mother.

Mina smiles. "Yes, ma'am! Had a great time!"

"How were the hot dogs?!"

"Delicious!"

"I can see," says Mina's mother. "I can tell you enjoyed them; there's still mayonnaise dripping from your face."

"Pardon me," retorts Mina.

"And a bit of relish as well."

Short Story #11

Mei Hatsume decides to conduct an experiment. A bizarre experiment that will require a guinea pig. Somehow, she convinces 1-A classmate, Fumikage, to join her.

Her experiment is can a bird-human hybrid impregnate ordinary hens.

Fumikage finds it bizarre but being offered a few hundred dollars, he swallows his pride.

Going into bird instincts, he goes and breeds all the hens in the chicken coop. It doesn't take long for the hens to lay and hatch the eggs.

Seeing this as a success, she asks him to volunteer again.

For an additional amount of money, he goes and breeds with another group of hens in the chicken coop. It doesn't take long for the hens to lay and hatch the eggs.

The next week, Mei returns to the chicken coop alone to check on the progress of the little hatchlings until she makes a stunned discovery.

Fumikage is spotted engaging in sexual acts with ducks, geese, parrots, anything that could cluck and fuck.

After a few hours, he is spent, pale and lying on the ground. Mei sees the vulture circling him.

Mei becomes worried and phones the ambulance. However, Fumikage opens one eye and whispers to Mei, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"

Short Story #12

One day, a husband is met with a worried and crying wife.

"What's wrong, sweetheart," asks the concerned husband.

"Oh, darling! I went into Nemuri's room and found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! Whatever are we going to do?"

The husband touched his cheek. "What we are not going to do is spank her! That is out of the question."

To be continued….

BD: The jokes are okay. It has been a while!

GOTA: Hopefully, we can clap back on these humorous stories soon.

BD: Stay tuned!

GOTA: Not like 'Hazbin Hotel' or anything. Not gonna lie. Really didn't care for it.

BD: Me either! We suck!

GOTA: Definitely!