It's pulling me under
It's driving me crazy

I'm fine, I'm ready, I'll take it on
It's gonna be a rough ride on the way
It's driving me crazy
Driving me to crazy, crazy (crazy, crazy)
Driving me crazy, yeah
Dragged me down
Brought me down
But I'm gonna get back up
Watch me get up again
- Safira.K "X: It's Driving Me Crazy"

VII.

"I can't hang around too long. No drinks for me. I've got a custody hearing in a couple of days."

"The son of a cabinet minister vs the daughter of Shinyeol Inc. "

"You certainly have your ear to the ground. I can't believe you have the time. It's a messy business."

"It's been making the news. Gossip about those two has been spreading like wildfire. You definitely have your work cut out for you."

It was meant to be a surreptitious transaction under the cover of a run-of-the-mill pojangmacha between two busy friends and occasional co-conspirators. The two men were like two ships passing each other by in the night which more or less characterised their relationship the past few years. It was usually business and seldom pleasure.

Seo Ji-ho waved a USB drive under Joon-hwi's nose. "It's all in there. Use it however you want but if anyone asks, don't say you got it from me."

"Aren't you exposing yourself by meeting me so openly here?"

"Can you imagine anyone from Hwajung spending time in a place like this?"

"Good point. Sorry that you have to slum it Mr Big Shot Lawyer. "

Ji-ho narrowed his eyes. "Besides, Yang Dae-sik is old news. Few people in Hwajung remember him."

"He's no longer working for Hwajung?"

"It's unclear if he ever was. He's listed as being employed for a short stint two years ago. Other than that he's a phantom. No one seems to know what he did for the firm exactly."

"Thanks. I know what light reading I'll be doing when I get home."

Ji-ho rose from his seat in preparation to leave when a passing thought made him change his mind. He was accustomed to keeping his thoughts to himself but there was a gnawing question he'd been meaning to throw out for some time. A feeling of "it's now or never" was prompting him to break with norm.

"Joon-hwi… are you okay? Is everything alright?"

"Sure. All things considered." The answer was standard non-committal fare that Joon-hwi would dole out from time to time without much thought. It assumed the listener knew exactly what the story was and it didn't place any kind of responsibility on either to probe or overwhelm the other with the burden of unnecessary facts.

"You seem so… tired." Ji-ho had been tossing a few other words around in his head but he eventually settled on the one that was potentially the least inflammatory. He was mindful of the fact that his former roommate had been enduring more slings and arrows than most in the past three years and it showed. "Are you… tired?"

Ji-ho's hesitation came from a place of concern and uncertainty that he rarely showed to the world. It was not like him to pry but he didn't want to come across as being judgemental. He had a sense of what his friend had gone through. The last thing he needed to feel was that someone was berating him.

Joon-hwi considered brushing the comment off like he usually did with a convenient platitude but it occurred to him that for Ji-ho to be this openly concerned, things had to be bad.

"That obvious, eh?" A familiar but faint smile found its way to his lips. "I'm exhausted if you really want to know."

As far as Ji-ho could tell his friend had been perpetually on edge since Kang Sol A went missing. Joon-hwi's life had been turned upside down and some days he was barely holding on.

"You look like… rubbish to be honest." Joon-hwi's unexpected honesty opened the door for Ji-ho to say what he really thought.

"Thanks. Friend." Instead of flying off the handle as expected, Joon-hwi rewarded Ji-ho with a sheepish grin. "Someone said the other day that I look like hell. Rubbish would be an improvement."

"Is it the case… is it getting under your skin?" Ji-ho had a feeling not but his true intention was to get Joon-hwi to open up.

"No. Actually it's been a life saver. Gives me something else to think about than to brood about all the other stuff. Stops me drinking."

Ji-ho imagined that would be true. It was just the thing to invigorate Joon-hwi but he didn't doubt that sooner or later it would exact some kind of toll on his already bone-weary friend.

"You still haven't heard anything?"

There was no need to elaborate. Joon-hwi knew exactly what Ji-ho was implying. Both knew reflexively that there was little point in dancing around the edges, beating around the bush, go around in circles. Besides they'd been through hell and back together once before. Any kind of pretence would be absurd.

He shook his head. "Not a damn thing."

Joon-hwi was gradually unburdening himself as Ji-ho hoped he would. It was better than the cold comfort of vapid chatter calculated only to fill the uncomfortable silence.

"I think I could bear it better if I knew exactly what happened. A body would be a good start."

"You don't really think…"

"I don't know what to think. It's been almost three years. What am I supposed to think? It's better than thinking that she left me for someone else."

"That's impossible. You know that."

"Is it?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"I wish I had your sense of certainty." Joon-hwi rewarded his friend with a weak smile.

"What the two of you had… have… was something special. Everyone could see that."

"My normally cynical pessimistic friend is much more optimistic than I am. How is this even possible? The sky still seems to be where it should be. Up."

"Even if there was someone else, there's her mother and sister. She wouldn't have upped and left just like that unless something serious happened."

"There's that. My ever logical friend." A pronouncement not said with any kind of sarcasm but with a melancholic pianissimo strain.

It was the first time in the two years that Ji-ho even attempted to broach the subject. He was surprised at Joon-hwi's openness to talk about it but saw it as an open invitation to provide some kind of consolation however clumsily.

The cold night air steadily bit into their bare skin as they lingered outside the concrete steps some distance from the shelter of the pojangmacha. They were just two friends sitting companionably side by side with thoughts of the past, present and future, wondering what that would look like.

"You should go. You're a busy lawyer. " Joon-hwi spoke after a period of quiet contemplation.

"I was envious you know." Ji-ho didn't seem that eager to leave despite his earlier claims.

"Of me?"

"Of what the two of you had."

"Really?"

"Not everybody gets to meet their soulmate without even trying. It's so ridiculously unfair. It's annoying."

"Hey, I thought you were trying to console me."

"I am, I think. To be honest I don't know how to comfort anyone. But what I want to say is that you shouldn't give up. I'm sure whatever it is that took her away from the people she loved, it had to be important."

"It damn well better be."

"Who knows… she might be on her way back."

"I hope so. If there's anything I've learnt these past 3 years, it's that celibacy is not the life for me."

When he threw his brief case onto the couch and saddled himself beside it, Joon-hwi remembered that he had some late night reading to do thanks to an old friend. He dug around the brief case before he found the USB drive which he promptly plugged into his laptop. Yang Dae-shik, Lee Min-seok's lawyer late of Hwajung and then nothing. It's as if he just fell off the planet and faded into oblivion. A graduate of Seoul National Uni and Hankuk Law School. With such sterling credentials, it was surprising that the guy barely practised law and the only thing of note that he did at least officially was represent Lee Min-seok pro bono. What was even more surprising was that he didn't do a particularly outstanding job with it. On the other hand, he seemed to have a lot spare time and cash to throw around. During his brief stint with Hwajung, he was driving around a Mercedes Benz and living in a two-bedroom apartment in Gangnam. If he wasn't working, where did all that money come from? It wasn't from his parents who were humble white-collar professionals eking a living the hard way.

What was it that Ji-ho called him?

A phantom.

But what really had his attention appeared to be nothing more than a footnote. Yang Dae-shik did his undergraduate internship at Pyramid Pharmaceuticals while finishing his business major. It was there that he caught the eye of CEO Park Seok-hyeong and for reasons unknown was convinced to go into law when his original major was marketing.

Pyramid Pharma.

There had to be something significant in that piece of titbit. The alarm bells were ringing. What was it? It couldn't just be personal bias rearing its head. He flipped through his notes to refresh his memory and a name came up. A rush of adrenalin flooded his senses. Some of the pieces were falling together.

Dr Jeon Dong-kyung.

Her curriculum vitae listed one of her specialisations as psychopharmacology — the use of medication in the treatment of mental health issues — and in another life time she did part of her internship at Pyramid Pharma's R and D department. In fact she was the youngest member of a major project conducted two decades ago sponsored by Pyramid exploring new types of psychotropic drugs and neurotransmitter inhibitors. Apparently the project wasn't a resounding success. While a new anti-depressant was released on the market some time after the project folded, claiming to increase energy levels but it was later recalled due to the severe side effects experienced by users.

For a weary prosecutor who had plenty of papers to shuffle through, the connection felt like the proverbial bolt of lightning. The missing link perhaps. The key to everything.

It could be a coincidence.

Maybe. Maybe not.

Dr Jeon seemed anxious about something. Perhaps she had an aversion to law enforcement. She was professional and appeared to be helpful but there was something about her manner that didn't sit right with Joon-hwi. Her helpfulness did not translate into eagerness presuming of course that she was the type of clinician that was genuinely cared about her patients. Instead Joon-hwi was made to feel presumptuous. Someone she couldn't wait to see the back of. She was definitely worried about something.

Maybe that's the just the general effect I seem to have on people. Comes with the territory.

Whatever her problem with him was, Joon-hwi knew that this was one rabbit trail he couldn't avoid, wherever it took him.

"You're not drinking?"

"Nothing stronger than coffee or tea at the moment."

"Probably a good idea."

"Alcohol affects my ability to concentrate and think. And I can't have any distractions right now."

"It's good to see you too, Prosecutor Han Joon-hwi."

"Sorry sir. But I'm eager to get started as soon as possible. I know it's the weekend but…"

Professor Yang Jong-hoon and former prosecutor smiled with affection born out of a friendship tested in the blazing heat of a furnace.

"It's fine. Anything I can do to help." The professor handed Joon-hwi a folder. "This is the file on Yang Dae-sik you requested."

"I hope I didn't get you into trouble."

"No at all, I made the request directly to the dean and she handed it to me with both hands. Especially after I said that it was for you."

Joon-hwi was immediately choked up with emotion and averted his eyes. It felt strange and yet heartwarming that there were people in the world that still cared enough about him.

"How is she?"

"Well enough to drag me into one of her regular publicity stunts."

"Anything interesting about Yang Dae-shik?"

"I have some memory of Yang Dae-shik in first year but nothing that stands out. He was a quiet one, did the work, gave all the right answers. He didn't exactly give me the impression that he would be someone with a brilliant legal career. However, his third year dissertation which I borrowed from the library is quite a compelling read."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"You should read it yourself." Yang Jong-hoon picked up a book from his jigsaw table and held it up. "Clinical Trials and the Pharmaceutical Industry: Debates Relating to Alteration of Informed Consent."

"Sounds scintillating."

Professor Yang detected a trace of sarcasm in the younger man's speech and went on to add.

"Actually, it's full of fascinating and even radical ideas. Surprisingly so. Has all kinds of implications for criminal and civil law. Worth a look. Bring it back though. It's out on loan."

Joon-hwi took the dissertation off the professor without another word. If Yangcrates said that the thesis was worth wading through, he had no doubt it was.

He speed read through Yang Dae-shik's student records. It was as the prof said. The latter was a hardworking student and did well in assignments and examinations but he was an antisocial creature for the most part and kept away from competitions or extracurricular activities during his time at Hankuk. At least not any that he could brag about for public consumption. He didn't make much of a mark on the law school landscape and did his internship at Hwajung. Despite the not-so-impressive CV, for reasons unknown Hwajung thought it was to their advantage to recruit him for their graduate programme.

"How are you, Han Joon-hwi?"

The question came at last after bouncing around the room soundlessly waiting for the good professor to grab it by the tail. The business side of things was complete. Things were bound to get personal at some point because Yang Jong-hoon was another who could re-tell the entire story and was there when it unfolded. He had always been a quiet but supportive presence. They hadn't seen each other for a year but when Joon-hwi needed a shoulder, his old professor rose to the occasion.

"Under the circumstances, I'm not too terrible."

"Not too terrible sounds like a step up."

"I guess."

"No more trips to the NFS whenever an unidentified female body is sent in?"

"I have the autopsy reports sent to me instead."

A ghost of a smile passed by Yang Jong-hoon's lips. "Better."

"I saw Seo Ji-ho the day before yesterday. "

"How is he?"

"Busy. He said I looked liked rubbish."

"Compared to what you were two years ago, you look like recycled rubbish."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

"He also said that I should hold on to hope that she will be back."

"Did he?"

"I almost believed him."

"That's because you want to."

"Should I… believe him?"

"If it helps you sleep better at night."

"Sometimes. Sometimes I think she's close by and hiding from me. Sometimes I think she's on the other side of world. Sometimes I think she's buried somewhere waiting for me to come find her."

"We should hope for the best unless we know otherwise. No news is good news."

"No news is good news." Joon-hwi muttered meditatively. "Why doesn't this make me feel better?"

Two years ago…

"I can't talk about Erica Shin. It's classified."

"C'mon Ji-uk, it's me you're talking to."

"That's why, Jong-hoon. Because it's you."

"Does that even make sens?."

"Because you will rock the boat until the entire vessel falls apart with nothing left and you won't stop until no stone is left unturned."

"What's wrong with that? What is the NIS hiding?"

"It has nothing to do with you and let's keep it that way. Go back to your law school, your students and forget you ever heard about Erica Shin or Kang Dan or Kang Sol."

"Ji-uk, this isn't about me. There's a young man. A former student. One of my best. He is looking for answers about his fiancee, and he deserves to know."

"All I can say is that there are much bigger things at stake here than your student. There are some things even I have no control over."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies. How did you even… Never mind."

"it's the logical last step. Do you think I would have come to you if the police could give me any answers? I'm not asking you to tell me classified agency information. Just help me track her."

"I can't Jong-hoon. I'm sorry."

Present…

It was a while since Joon-hwi saw them but on this quiet evening an inexplicable yearning took him down a series of familiar streets and alleyways right to their doorstep. All the way there he recalled a speech that he had rehearsed dozens of times. He was prepared but fearful. He was remorseful but uneasy. Yet he longed for the comfort of those who shared his loss and knew his grief. For too long he'd kept his distance because he had run out of things to say. Could he be forgiven? He was sorry. He was sorry for them. He was sorry he didn't have anything better to tell them than to say he was sorry. This farce of a routine became an empty ritual that brought no one peace… or answers.

He, a prosecutor of the country was incapable of solving the puzzle closest to home… to his heart. How could he face anyone? The overwhelming helplessness and the shame was the burden he had to bear alone.

He had so much to repent where they were concerned. But he himself had lost his way and was floating adrift out in unfamiliar territory.

"Son-in-law, you should have told us you were coming. We could have had dinner together."

"I.. It's okay. I was in the neighbourhood. I thought … I should… have been here sooner. I'm so sorry Mother."

Byeol's mother patted his hand. "Don't be. I'm sure it's been hard on you."

"Brother, I missed you. Where have you been?"

In front of Byeol and her mother, Joon-hwi was compelled to be his broken self.

"I'm sorry Byeol. It's my fault."

"Why? Did you do something wrong?"

"I couldn't find your sister. I let you all down…"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Brother. It's that stupid sister of mine who is making all of us worry."

Joon-hwi wondered if he should laugh but he only managed a smile. "Yeah, it's pretty stupid to run off and not tell anyone where you're going."

"Yeah. Don't worry I will give her a good scolding for all of us when she comes back."

"Son-in-law, have you eaten?"

Joon-hwi said nothing and shook his head.

"I'll make you some ramyeon." Joon-hwi looked like he was about to object. "It's okay, I want to. And there's plenty of side dishes in the fridge. So it's no trouble at all."

"Mother…"

"You look like you haven't had a decent meal in three years."

"I haven't."

Detective Kim cast an expert eye around the reception area that was calculated not so much to strike awe in the hearts of visitors but to ensure that anyone who found their way there should feel their place. It was no doubt as large as the founder's ambitions and possibly even his ego. He read the company's mission statement and snorted, much to the chagrin of the human bot that processed his request.

"At Pyramid we pride ourselves on moving with the times and provide cutting edge medical products today for a better tomorrow."

So this is the gateway to paradise or hell… the tomb of the pharaoh and all his treasures. This is where the skeletons are buried.

If we're lucky.

He wondered what Prosecutor Han was thinking. It might be a case of deja vu for him now that he was on the premises of Pyramid HQ. One of the country's biggest companies and in all probability the nation's second largest producer of pharmaceutical products. He had once crossed swords with them but that must seem like another lifetime ago. Those were happier days for Han pro although there was something about this case that was doing him some good. Maybe staying away from the prosecutor's office was the cure. The contrast even in two weeks was remarkable.

Prosecutor Han, on the other hand, was ruminating restlessly on one of the leather sofas not designed for comfort. He realised quickly that he was now entering enemy territory and that his every move would be watched. There was little danger of complacency because he had no concrete notion of how Pyramid fit into the bigger story. He could make educated guesses and while there might be a trail they were careful not leave their finger prints behind. It occurred to him that this was the definition of asymmetric warfare. The usual sorts of tactics at his disposal would never work. A part of him wanted to rip the place apart and raid the cupboards for its secrets. A part of him knew that it was an act of foolish futility.

Once upon a time there were victims who had gone through the crucible of suffering but there was no light at the end of the tunnel for them. He thought himself more fortunate because his mission to find them some measure of justice gave him something to wake up to. To curtail any hubris a little voice within chided him for having disproportionately lofty thoughts that he couldn't be sure of living up to.

"Detective Kim, Prosecutor Han? The legal team will see you both now."

The two were promptly ushered into a lift. They felt themselves the objects of scrutiny by their fellow passengers who were curious about their presence. The silence that reverberated around them was deafening and inquisitorial. The detective wondered if this was what it was like for pigs being led into the slaughterhouse. He felt unusually and eerily claustrophobic.

Relief washed over them when they stepped out of the lift but sensed a dozen eyes boring down on the backs. Was it case of out of the frying pan and plunging into the fire?

After being taken to the tenth floor by professional-looking corporate type in a lift, the two men were led down a maze of corridors before arriving in an oversized conference room greeted by at least half a dozen lawyers looking stern and unwelcoming. Foremost Joon-hwi's mind was the thought that sharing time with a shark in a cage would have been a friendlier place. The intimidation seemed to be working.

"Welcome to Pyramid Pharmaceuticals, Detective Kim, Prosecutor Han. I am Song Min-gi, the head of Pyramid's legal team."

"Thank you for seeing us at short notice."

"Of course we want to assist the police in anyway with the investigation. Pyramid prides itself on being a corporate citizen. Prosecutor Han would be well aware of that."

Pyramid was immediately on the attack and Joon-hwi was prepared for that move at least.

"It's good to hear. It would make my life a lot easier and immediately allay any kind of suspicions that Detective Kim and I have. It would a shame to prolong the investigation unnecessarily because a lack of cooperation."

"I can assure that we will co-operate fully. Our CEO has instructed us to do everything we can to help."

"Where is Mr Park? We would like an interview with him at some point."

"I thought your interest was with these two individuals: Lawyer Yang Dae-shik and Dr Jeon Dong-kyung. "

"We're primarily interested in these two but there are other aspects of the company that we're interested in."

"What other aspects?

"Research and development. The business. That sort of thing."

"There are other…"

"We will get back to you on that. CEO Park is a busy man you understand. But every department has its own director. They would be happy to be interviewed if needs be."

"We can start there."

The obvious leader of the pack looked at Joon-hwi with an undecipherable expression. Whatever it was he was thinking, he kept it to himself. There was no reason to completely antagonise the prosecutor straight away. Instead he picked up the phone next to him and called someone.

"Send Ms Shin into the conference room."

The door opened and a familiar face strolled past Joon-hwi and towards the legal team. "Yes, director. You called for me?"

"Prosecutor Han, you've met Ms Shin before haven't you? Ms Erica Shin? She's a member of our legal team. She will show you around and take you to see our R and D department."

A flicker of recognition crossed Han Joon-hwi's face before he turned to look at the new arrival. All eyes that were on him saw his expression turn from momentary surprise to a hint of amusement.