Warnings: PG to PG13, I think. Let me know if you disagree.

It comes back to him now, in bits and pieces from time to time. Flowing in and out of his mind like…like…Loptr tries to think of the word, but loses it. Again. It happened again. Loptr whimpers. It hurts to think. To feel. To be. But he knows it's important, to remember this something, so he does it anyway.

There's a woman with long, gold hair and young man with thunder there, on the edges of his mind. Frigga and Thor, his mind tells him in a burst of clarity. How did he forget that? It's important to remember names. He told him so. They said so. Everyone wants him to remember things, or forget things, or do something.

It's hard to which to do.

Is he to forget them, this woman and man?

Or should he hold onto them?

Loptr doesn't know anymore.

It stings to think of them. Rips into his blood and makes it burn, burn, burn. Like fire and ice. Like the girl with red smoke. It makes him scream and whimper, but never for long. It goes. It all goes.

And then comes back.

Loptr sometimes wonders why it goes. But then Wanda comes with her red smoke and he's drowning in pain again. Too much to think about other things. Important things.

She's just left, after smacking him. He curls up and wishes Master were – No! Master hurts him. Master is bad. No! Master is good, always good and right. Loptr is never to question him. Loptr…he grabs his head and cries.

Why is it so hard?

He used to know what was good and bad.

Now it's all gone.

Lost. Gone. But never for long. It comes and goes. Goes and comes. It is. It never was.

Loptr scratches his arms, the sharp sting helping his head to stop hurting so much. But it makes his body achy. Sore. He always aches now. Always. It never stops, because they never stop. Wanda never stops for long. Tears run on his cheeks and Loptr scratches more.

He wants it to end. Please. Now. He's been trying to be good, so why doesn't Master come to stop them?

"Stop that," Pietro says, taking his fingers off his arms. "You'll make it worse."

"Worse," Loptr whispers. "Bad, worse, best."

"Yes, you better stop then. No more scratching." Pietro hands him a little piece of bread as he sits down next to Loptr. "Eat."

"Loptr good?"

"Not really, but you look ready to die, so eat."

Loptr nods and takes the bread. Sometimes Master did things like that too. Gave him food when Loptr didn't deserve it. Said Loptr wasn't allowed to die yet.

"Still useful."

Pietro tilts his head. "What?"

"Loptr still needed. Not die yet."

Pietro's eyes go sad, but he nods. "I suppose so."

Loptr bites into his bread. It's soft and tastes like…like…butter? Yes, it tastes like butter. Loptr likes butter on bread. It's nice. So is this the bread. Loptr likes that his bread is soft and with butter. He smiles. "Butter."

Pietro shrugs with one shoulder. "It's got fats that you need."

Loptr bites again. "Blue man nice."

Pietro snorts and shakes his head. "You wouldn't say that if you knew…"

Loptr leans forward and pats Pietro's knee. "Pietro good. Not get hurt."

Pietro stiffens, jerks back, and leaves. His eyes are very, very sad. And angry. The door hisses closed and Loptr is sorry he's gone. Pietro is nice to him. He gives him secret food and smiles at him. Nobody else likes Loptr. They hit him. They laugh at him. They let Wanda hurt him when they're done. They…

Loptr scratches his arms, but stops when he remembers Pietro doesn't like it. And Loptr wants Pietro to be happy with Loptr. Because Loptr is good, and doesn't scratch. Loptr will show him. Loptr will be good. Like he was with Master. And Natasha. And Bruce.

Loptr sighs. He really wishes Natasha or Bruce were here. They don't hurt him. They give him soup. They make mistakes, but they are nice. Loptr misses them. He misses…who does he miss? He had their names before. Thunder and Gold. But now it's gone. Gone, gone, gone.

Why is it gone?

He tries so hard to make them stay.

But they always go.

Loptr huddles in the corner and hugs himself. He wishes Hulk were here. Hulk would hug him, and make sure the Bad Men don't hit him again. But Hulk isn't here. No one is here, except the Bad Men. So, Loptr curls up and cries, because no one is coming to help him.

I know, I know, it's been FOREVER since i updated this. I hadn't forgotten. Promise. I just got bogged down with Life and then nothing would come. And I didn't want to give you junk, so I waited until something good came. I hope it lives up to all your standards.

Next update will be...*hides*...in two months. *peeks out* It's because school is starting, I'll be working full-time now, and I've two books to finish, a picture a month to do, AND another FF story. I simply don't know if I'll be able to do another chapter in one month, so i'm giving myself two. *hides* Forgive me!